A/N: This had been at the back of my head for a while and so, being the great procrastinator I am, here it is. For those who love music, listen to Good Thing by Zedd & Khelani, and I am not a robot by MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS because I feel like they go well with this fic. Let me know if you have any other songs or even if you just liked it, I'd love to hear it.
Also, just a quick warning that there is a bit of swearing. Enjoy!
Katsuki won't go as far to say that romance is fucking stupid but, well…
To him, that's definitely what it feels like.
Growing up, he'd never understood how romance could take over people's lives like it seemed to in movies and novels (not that he'd ever been able to stand the first few minutes or pages of those, anyway. But if he spent hours scrolling through cheesy manga online alone in his room that was his business.) It was just… straight up incomprehensible to him. Seeing it acted out in a false mockery of life was one thing but the idea that people actually hung their hopes on one person and felt like they'd die without them was… unnerving. The fact that his own parents live like that was unnerving as well so he just shrugged it off as something he'd never understand ("you'll understand when you're older, brat") and didn't read into the way his parents acted around each other too much ("Don't give me that face, one day you'll find someone and be just like this. Just you wait.")
And that's not just the attitude he tends to project defensively talking (not that anyone will believe him) but he genuinely doesn't give a flying fuck about shit like that. People can go suck faces and live their rose-tinted dreams for all he cares, he has goals and he will succeed and no one would get in his way, not some valentine's day shit and definitely not some shitheads preaching he'd die alone living like that.
That's his stance on things, anyway. But apparently that made him-
"-heartless, Bakugou. What is wrong with you? Do you even have a heart? They were right about you, you know."
And, okay, he doesn't give a shit what other people think of him or if they had a problem with his attitude if that was really what was going on. If that's what they were losing hair over. That was their problem. But sometimes, it's like there was something he was completely missing, some underlying meaning to things that people seem to misinterpret and then throw it in his face like it was his fault. Honestly, some people just didn't make sense.
("B-bakugou, I… I really like you! Please go out with me."
Even then, Katsuki had felt like there was some kind of code he was unable to decipher.
"Um, you're cool too, I guess. Where you wanna go? Me and the others are going to the convenience store after school if you want to come with that bad."
"No, I… I… don't you want to, like, hold hands and hug? With me? That kind of stuff."
"What are you talking about? Of course not. Now, are you coming or not?"
He'd been in like, 5th grade or some shit, and that was the moment Katsuiki had vowed to never agree to meet a girl behind the school building again. He'd been kind of disappointed she hadn't been looking for a fight like he'd vaguely entertained on the way there, although in the end he couldn't be sure what she had wanted when she'd burst into tears, pushed him in the chest and left him there without an explanation.)
It hadn't taken him long afterwards to figure out what that girl had been trying to say but at the time it had honestly just not crossed his mind and now he had to deal with the dirty looks some of the girls kept shooting him. They stopped real quick once he started shooting looks of his own back at them, anyway.
When his 'friends' started getting a hell of a lot more interested in hanging out with girls, it was on a group date he had reluctantly been dragged into mostly for the sake of saving face that Katsuki discovered what true, excruciating awkwardness is. (It was in the booth of an ice cream parlour, avoiding the meaningful side glances he kept getting, ignoring invasive flirty questions that he honestly had no idea how to respond to, and watching every agonising second tick by, painfully aware of his own body and the million other places he'd rather be than sitting there letting his ice cream sink heavy and nauseous in his stomach.)
It was obvious there were signals he was missing and that didn't make the situation any better although his 'friends' seemed convinced it had been a success. Katsuki came out of the group date cursing that special kind of hell. To hell with what kids his age should be doing, Katsuki would rather blast off his own foot than try something like that again. If that meant threatening his 'friends' until they backed off from the subject and yelling at his mother to lay off prying, then so be it.
At the very least, Deku of all people didn't seem to care or feel the need to suggest he get a fucking girlfriend. Always the same small, weak Deku who followed him around mumbling like a freak and never questioning his decisions. That was back then, anyway. Katsuki may not be able to stand the other boy but Deku never mentions dating or love or any of that shit and that suits Katsuki just fine.
(Sometimes, though, Katsuki would really think about it and wonder. Wonder about what he was missing, wonder about what it meant about him. He knew he was messed up already, he didn't need a lame do-gooder to tell him that some of his habits and reflexes weren't exactly healthy. But sometimes he'd wonder if he was really broken. Like there was something wrong with him. Which is stupid because he's fucking Bakugou Katsuki but sometimes there was a little voice that just wouldn't shut up. Sometimes it sounded like his mother. Sometimes it sounded like fucking Deku. Days like those, he was all too happy to take it out on the boy.)
U.A isn't much different. He may have slightly more respect for his new classmates with their admittedly impressive quirks (not that he'd ever say that) but they still prove themselves to be just as romance-obsessed as any other teenagers. When he gets stuck with a group of annoying classmates who don't leave him alone, he has to listen to Ashido's insane imagination, Kaminari's lovesick moaning, and Sero's whipped behaviour everytime Raccoon Eyes so much as says something in his direction (and that's ignoring the comments and flirting of the rest of the class). Jirou's more cool about it than others, pretending she's above all that shit, but Katsuki sees the way she looks at a certain pony-tailed class vice-prez. (She's subtle so Katsuki can't bring himself to mind too much when Bass Bitch calls him sometime after midnight freaking out over her very much not straight crush. The freaking out he can sympathize with and just listening to her he's already got the situation down in his head. Katsuki manages to cut her off like half an hour into her rant because she's being ridiculous, there's nothing wrong with her, yes she totally does have a chance has she seen the way Ponytail blushes around her? but she needs to sleep now if they're going to be able to function at all in class the next day. Bass Bitch quietly thanks him after and while their exchange doesn' particularly sound like anything special, it's like they've got a new kind of understanding between them after that. Katsuki would call it an alliance.)
Kirishima seems to be the one person who doesn't do any of that shit either, giving flustered girls a pleasant but distant smile and never joining in on Kaminari's flirtatious antics. He's a mystery but Katsuki has no intention of deciphering Shitty Hair's toothy grin any time soon, satisfied so long as he's left alone. (And if maybe, he's the only one Katsuki ever even lets get close enough to sling an arm over his shoulder, that means nothing and Katsuki is stuck on ignoring Jirou's raised eyebrow. At least she's not around to catch him snatching looks at a shirtless Shitty Hair in the changing rooms with a dry mouth because damn, have you seen him? But maybe Sero does but at least he's more easy to shut up with a particularly deadly glare and a trademark threat.)
Katsuki gets a revelation strong enough to burn his fucking eyebrows off when Bass Bitch is rambling on to him about the LGBTQ+ community and mentions one term his brain instantly clings to and he secretly looks up later. It's a label he'd never heard of before yet feels like he'd come home as soon as he reads the ambiguous definition. Aromantic. Someone who generally does not experience romantic attraction, with romantic attraction being defined as the desire to be in a romantic relationship and/or do romantic acts with a specific person.
Now, Katsuki isn't one who generally likes labels (being someone who had grown up with people's opinions and expectations thrust upon him regardless of what he thought or actually wanted). But this meant something to him, meant he isn't alone, isn't broken, isn't abnormal, hadn't been the entire time because there was a word for it. Katsuki had never thought he'd find something like it and he spends most of the night reading more about the term and the community. It's… it's insane how much he has been missing. That he hasn't actually been alone in this. Not that he's going to go around looking for others like him (he had enough idiots who never left him alone to want peace not more) but it's just relieving to know all the same. Like there was a weight on his shoulders that had suddenly been removed. A dread in his stomach, like he'd resigned himself to one day forcing himself to date a girl because that was to be expected of him. But seriously, fuck it, when has he ever done what's expected of him?
(And after midnight, he'd made a certain call to repay a favour and was relieved to finally tell someone, for them to listen patiently, and for them to accept him. He didn't need to tell the world but just one person was fine for now and maybe the rest of the gang later. Bass Bitch hadn't said anything about the quiet thank you he'd muttered at the end of the call, voice thick with emotion and raspy from the cry he'd already had, just yawned and told him to sleep. But she had given him a hug the next time she'd seen him and maybe he had let her.)
It just becomes another apart of who he is, a part of his life others had no fucking business knowing, and something that didn't really change anything about him at all. All he'd gained was a name for something he'd been feeling for as long as he could remember, or rather hadn't been feeling.
He's still going to kick Deku's ass, still the best of his class, and damn well still going to be the number one hero. Katsuki is well on his way and is fucking determined to show them all that he's a hundred times better than any of those losers, whether he dates someone or not.