The Way It Is - Chapter 3
"I haven't seen you in.. I don't even know how long."
Ellie pushed the door open slowly, the hallway beyond bathed in the harsh red glow of a handful of flares littered down it. She had been here before, seen the abandoned medical equipment piled up in random places through out, the spray paint on the far wall. It wasn't right though, it seemed taller, more imposing.
There was a clatter from down the hallway, and her pistol pulled from the back of her jeans and in her hands as a song began to softly play. A song she hadn't heard in years, a pistol she had grown out of. No missing fingers as she looked down at her left hand.
"Forty-five days. Well, forty-six, technically.."
Suddenly her gun was gone, and both hands were filled with rough callouses and dark skin, pulling her and making her move to the beat of the song. Ellie felt herself laugh as she fell into the motions, and the way the grin she saw before her made her heart skip.
"This is something that you've wanted for.. You know. Forever, so.. Who am I to stop you?"
She's dodging out of the way of a stream of water with a surprised cry, before sliding out from behind the glass counter to fire her own volley.
"The only person who can."
She's staring in wonder as the girl in front of her rips off the pendant and tosses it aside.
"No. Please, don't go. I'll be so miserable without you!"
She's holding Riley's hand, staring at the wall in front of her and out of tears when she feels the first involuntary twitch against her palm.
She closes her eyes and waits for her turn.
"Don't go."
When Ellie opens her eyes again, she staring at a little makeshift pyramid made out of canned peaches and beans.
"Henry says that, 'They've moved on'. That they're with their families. Like in heaven. Do you think that's true?"
She pulls out the robotic action figure from her backpack and sets it down on the table. It doesn't bring out the smile she thought it would.
"I go back and forth. I mean, I'd like to believe it."
She's pushing back as wailing fists smack against her arms. Every hit stung and would leave a bruise for the coming days, and it's the second rush that sends her tumbling through the door, desperately trying to keep gnashing teeth from her skin as she brings her knee up between her and the boy she had once known.
"But you don't."
She watches Joel stick the shovel into the earth between two fresh mounds of dirt. He grunts once, and then turns to leave. Ellie sits with her knees drawn to her chest and stares at the wooden grave marker that says 'Sam'.
"I guess not."
She's back in that hallway, the red glow lighting up the graffiti at the end.
"My friend's problems are my problems."
The hallway seems like its the right size now, no longer taller than her, no longer imposing. The flares draw dark shadows on the floor that almost look like infected.
"You've got to get this girl to Tommy's. He used to run with this crew, he'll know where to go."
The song was discordant now, and the voices were beginning to overlap, so much so that she pressed her hands against her ears. It didn't stop them, and she felt the two spaces where fingers used to be.
"Somebody I had look after. And in this world, that sort of shit's good for one thing: Gettin' you killed."
She reached the end, stumbling against the wall near the door. Her palm was pressed into the graffiti there, and when she pulled it back it came away wet with the blood that the Firefly symbol was drawn in.
"No such thing as luck. You see, I believe that everything happens for a reason."
Ellie swings open the door and runs inside, crashing against the glass on the other side of the door as she runs from the voices. She claws open the next door and dashes into the operating room, back into that uncomfortable sense of deja vu, the feeling she had been here before even though she didn't remember it.
"We let you both live, and you wasted it!"
Suddenly, all around her was quiet, except for her panicked attempts to breathe. She tentatively lowered her hand from her left ear, looking around the operating room. As she looked back towards the table, a figure in a surgical mask and gown rushed out, shoving a scalpel into her stomach.
Ellie screamed, pushing against the figure only to find nothing but air. She gasped for air before grasping at the knife plunged into her gut, ripping it free. Her agonized cries echoing in the room as red began to pour from the wound, the pain throbbing deep inside the hole it left behind.
It hurt so much she couldn't see, couldn't focus.
Then she heard him.
"Hey, kiddo."
She scrambled around to look for him.
Ellie groaned as she blinked her eyes open, having woken with a start at the end of her dream. The sheets she was tangled in stuck to her skin, and her back was slick with sweat beneath her tank top as she slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position.
A glance at the alarm clock on the stand next to her bed told her it was just past ten in the morning, meaning she'd only slept a handful of hours. It was also way too hot for being before noon, especially with her window open.
Sliding her legs off the edge of the bed, she scratched absently at her right knee before looking back at the sheets. "Ugh, gross." She had sweat through the thin fabric, and the room was heavy with the smell of it.
Her dream came back to her then, and her hand trailed to push up the hem of her tank top as she rubbed her palm against an ugly mass of scar tissue just above her hip. It had all felt so real, but the pain of being stabbed was lingering, pulsating inside her abdomen as she looked down. "Fuck, ow.."
The way she had sewed it up multiple times had left a knot of tissue that was paper than the skin around it, but she almost thought it looked like it was redder than it had been. Ellie wasn't sure, couldn't be sure if that was any different, she had largely left it alone after re-stitching it.
A not so subtle flash of the wound being submerged in salt water wriggled through her thoughts, leaving her rubbing her palm against the area even harder to dispel the deep seated ache.
Bleeding and alone in the shallows, listening to the fading rumble of the boat's engine.
She'd gambled everything on one chance to silence the voice in her head, and in the end her obsession had almost hollowed her out. And it cost her the things that had mattered.
A week back in town and she'd only seen Dina once, a standing offer to talk left in the wind.
A shaking hand raised to push back sweat-slicked hair from her forehead with its two good fingers as she tried to put the dream from her mind, and she once again took in a breath and realized just how hot it was. The air was dry and hazy, it felt still even with the open window.
With parts of her body complaining, Ellie rose to her feet and padded over to the little box fan set near her desk, turning it on to cool her off as she half fell into the chair. The table was littered with parts, the disassembled wreck of the gun she'd taken off that Rattler fuck that had found her stringed up in California and had tried to feed her to a clicker.
It wasn't like there was much she could improve on with the gun, but learning how to clean a weapon and maintain it was something Joel had drilled into her that first year in Jackson. The image of him leaning on her door frame flashed through her mind, chuckling to himself as he tried to remember a bad joke.
Ellie reached over to the backpack laying near the mess and pulled out her journal, flipping it over as she took up a pencil and began to draw.
The dream was still pretty fresh, and if she didn't try to get some of it down now it would slip away.
Minute by minute passed where the only sounds were the low hum of the fan and the scratching of lead against paper, her thoughts occupied. She didn't notice the sweat still rolling down her back, the multiple times she had to push her hair back out of her face.
She was lost in the process of drawing when the fan clicked, whirred, and began to slow down.
It drew her attention away with a frown, staring at it before reaching over and turning the knob on top of it a few times. The heat was even more oppressive without that small comfort, and she already felt the bare skin of her legs sticking to her seat. After a moment she sighed, turning back to reach out to the desk lamp, clicking its button on and off a few times as the bulb didn't even flicker.
"Great." It was a few moments of tapping her eraser against the page before she decided to go find out what was happening.
Sliding her chair back, she sighed and turned around in it. For a moment, she saw the door open and the dark of night outside. She saw him standing there with a thumb hooked over his belt buckle, smiling. She blinked, and he was gone, but her heart was suddenly a jackhammer in her chest as she shook her head.
Ellie took a long moment to breathe before she stood up and walked over to the bed, snagging her holster on the way over and tossing it into the still sweat-stained sheets. Changing out of her soaked tank top for a cleaner one and pulling on a pair a jeans with holes on the knees, she followed it with strapping on the holster.
With a glance over at the pillow, still fresh with the wet indent of where she had slept in this heat, she pulled it up and grabbed the revolver laying beneath it. She ran her fingers down it's barrel before she tucked it into the back of her pants.
This is so stupid.
It was just a fever dream, and I'm blaming this fucking heat wave for that, but they all looked so real. Especially her.
I haven't dreamed of her in a long time, I thought I'd forgotten what she looked like.
This drawing is close, I think I hope. But the only pictures left of her are back in Boston, and those Fedra fucks probably burned them.
I don't think I have her eyes quite right here.
I still miss you, Riley.
It sounded like he was right there.
There were plenty of people out on their porches or under the awnings of the various shops as she walked by, all chattering quietly and wondering the same thing she was. A lot of them were fanning themselves in this heat, the sun beating down to make even the shade unbearable at this point. The chatter was consistent as she moved through the streets, though, everyone's power was out.
Some of them made the effort to wave, and she returned a few 'Hey, Ellie's with greetings of her own, but soon she found herself almost running into a girl a few years younger than her who came jogging around a corner.
"Whoa, sorry Ellie!"
Steadying the girl before letting her go, she shook her head. "No problem, Cassie. What's up?"
"Looking for you, actually." The girl was panting softly, but jerked a thumb over her shoulder. "Maria needs you, over by the stables."
"Right. Thanks."
The girl gave her a thumbs up as she stepped past, and Ellie put a little more speed into her steps as she neared the stables, waiting for a wagon to pass on the road before she jogged across. Inside were a couple of the older patrol guys and Maria, talking over a map.
"Ellie, hey, get in here." Maria beckoned her over, folding up a map they had been looking over and nodding at the two she had been speaking to. "Make sure you bring everyone back in. Thanks, guys."
Stepping aside to let them leave and saying a quick good morning to both, Ellie moved over to find Maria rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Hey, Cassie found me, what's up?"
"Well I was hoping the last few days were just a fluke but we might be heading into a heat wave, I've suspended all patrols for the time being."
Ellie nodded. "Want me to go out and bring someone back from patrol?"
"No, no, they've got it handled. I need you to head down to the dam so we can figure out what's going on and get the power back up." Maria had denied her request just a couple of days ago to return to patrols, saying she needed more time to rest, so this left Ellie with a raised eyebrow. "And give me some time to work out an air conditioning schedule so we don't burn out the power."
"Just ride there and back?"
"Well.."
"Hey, sorry I'm late." A new voice joined them as Dina walked in, carrying a messenger back that looked heavy. "It's ready, Maria."
Ellie tried not to stare as Dina ran a hand through a messy mop of black hair, but she was caught when the other girl noticed her standing there. "Hey."
She hoped that hadn't sounded as lame as it did to her.
"Hi, Ellie." There was an uncomfortable lingering quiet between them until Dina looked back to Maria, before setting the bag down on the table and opening it, revealing a radio and a half dozen cables. "Should be as easy as hooking it up to the solar batteries they already have, now. I can explain the more complicated stuff to whoever is taking it."
"No need, I want you to take it there. I want you both on this."
They exchanged a glance between them and the older woman before Ellie spoke up.
"Maria, I-"
"But I don't-"
She cut both of them off, raising her hand to quiet them. "Look, I know it's not ideal, but I need that radio down there and working, and I trust you two to do it. And to watch each other's backs." Maria looked between them. "Now get on with it."
Even as she moved past Dina, the older woman gave Ellie a knowing look, causing her to sigh and rock back on her heels as she muttered, "Subtle, Maria."
They stood awkwardly, not looking at one another for a few seconds before Dina cleared her throat and pulled the strap of the bag back over her head. "I guess we're going. I'll get the horses, can you grab a couple canteens?"
Ellie didn't miss the way Dina looked anywhere but her as she turned to walk further into the stables, and she frowned.
"Right. Yeah."
Instead, she set a path for the blonde woman who was caught up with three of the younger patrol members, talking them through the route to get to the lookout posts and bring those who had gone out on the morning patrols back.
"Just make sure to bring them straight back, and take lots of water with you, I don't want anyone collapsing out there."
"Maria." The little group dispersed as she neared, trying and failing to bite her tongue as she felt exasperation growing within her. "What the hell was that?"
"Ellie, just do as I ask, okay?"
Maria started to turn away, but she stepped so she was still in view. "No, hey, Dina hasn't said a word to me since my first night back, why are you doing this?"
The woman rounded on her. "Ellie, enough!" The whisper was harsh and caused her to falter back a step. "I know things aren't what you were hoping for with her, but I need you to get over it and just do this. If this heat wave lasts as long as last one we'll lose a lot of our crops, I need you to go make sure the dam has everything they need to get the power back on. That's our priority right now. Do you understand?"
Ellie was looking at the ground now, her fists clenched as she nodded. "Yeah, I get it."
"Good." Maria touched her shoulder gently, bringing her eyes up. "Try to talk to her. You left, you need to make the effort."
Part of her wanting to sigh and say something dismissive, but all she could think about was those gentle days in the farm house, and she gave another nod. "Okay, Maria. Fine."
The older woman flashed a small, proud smile at her. "Now be careful, and get a move on."
Author's Note: Decided to cut this one off for length, bit more excitement than the first couple chapters in this and the next few! Thank you for the kind reviews, for all the follows and favorites. I'm glad others needed this as much as I did, and I'm really happy that you think I'm doing a good job of it. As always, lemme know what you think! -Fox