Author's Notes:
Christmas season is here!
Don't be too mad with Hermione for wanting to get out of her place a bit, trying to find some distraction in the Christmas traditions she has always enjoyed over the years and forget about her trauma for a moment... Plus, children can be so adorably persuasive sometimes. ;-)
My thanks:
a) to MusicLover19 for proofreading and providing further comments! :-*
b) to my fave bunch of ladies and their never-ending patience to listen to my doubts and ramblings whenever I feel stuck on my chapters! I love you all, Debbie, Linda, Katie, and Evora!
c) ...and to everyone reading my story! Knowing that I can touch people with my story makes my day, so THANK YOU FOR READING IT!
Chapter 25 - Of Lions and Badgers
Almost two weeks after Hermione's rescue, December arrived and with it, the official start of the Christmas season. It was a magical season in every sense of the word, with many loved traditions.
Hermione loved those traditions, though this year, the things were a bit different. Masses of people made her uneasy to the brink of a panic attack, and she preferred to stay inside most of the time. But she still couldn't say no when she was asked to come along to the opening of the wizarding Christmas market with Ginny and the children. Not when Lily had asked her, her goddaughter.
"And you're really up to it?" Ginny asked when they arrived at the Christmas market; the children were tugging at her as the first stands were in sight.
Hermione nodded, taking a deep breath before making sure that her shawl sat tight. She had taken an extra dose of her Calming Draught before leaving, but she wasn't sure whether it would be enough to keep her uneasiness at a manageable level. "I'll be fine..."
Ginny threw her a sceptical look but then accepted her answer with a nod before she leaned down to her son. "James, you remember what I told you before we left home?"
The boy nodded vigorously and with beaming face. "Stay together. Don't run off. And if Auntie doesn't feel well, bring her into a quiet corner."
Hermione had to smile at the earnestness James showed as he listed the rules, wanting to show how grown-up he already was. He was a cheeky little version of his father, only with an auburn mess to call hair.
"Good." Smiling as well, Ginny offered both her hands to her children and nodded towards the entrance to the market. "Let's go and get ourselves high on sugar."
"Mum, Mum, Mum! Can I go on the big ride?" James asked after they had passed the first few stands of the Christmas market, his hand firmly around Hermione's in an almost protective manner.
Ginny let out a sigh, trying to get through a throng of people standing in front of a particular stand with sweets. "I told you that we will go on the big ride as soon as the others join us, okay? Wouldn't be fair on your cousins otherwise, right?"
"But we could go see the ponies now," Lily said with a smile, pointing randomly into a direction. "They are quiet enough for Auntie."
"Let's just walk through the stands and see what they sell... I'm pretty sure your uncles would love to see you visit their stand as well."
"Yes! Uncle George always has some sweets for us!" James exclaimed excitedly, missing Hermione's flinch in reaction.
"Yes! And Uncle Fred lets us play with some toys when we go to the shop!" Lily added, similarly excited. "But I want to see the ponies first!"
"Uncles first!"
Hermione swallowed hard and took a deep breath, glad that it helped to chase away the most urgent uneasiness, but she covered it with a warm smile. "Looks like we have a problem..."
"I'll mark the day in the calendar when those two will agree on something," Ginny replied with a chuckle. "I'd rather stick together to keep an eye on you..."
"But I can keep an eye on Auntie too, I know what to do!" James piped in, sounding almost insulted.
Ginny moved to a spot between stands to get away from the people for a moment. "Look, I know you're a big boy, James. But Auntie is different than your sister..."
Instead of arguing with his mother, James just switched between her and Hermione with the biggest puppy eyes he could muster. "Please! I promise I won't let go of her hand, and I know that I'm supposed to pull her into a quiet corner if she's feeling worse... worse than now, anyway."
Ginny studied Hermione for a second before sighing in defeat. "You have to ask Auntie if she feels up to it, okay? You've seen how many people are here."
"Auntie? Please? I promise I'll do what you say!"
"You really promise to behave?" Hermione asked, amused by his eager nod because she knew what a cheeky devil he could be. With a shrug, she turned her attention to Ginny. "I think I can manage. The Draught should hold..."
"Fine," Ginny conceded and started fishing in her small beaded bag. Seconds later, she pulled out a small round device that she handed her son. "You remember how this works? I have another one in my coat, okay?"
"I push the button once if something happens with Auntie, just like when I watch Lily."
"Good." Ginny smiled at the earnest expression on James' face. "Meeting point is the big ride in an hour. I think, by then, the others should be there as well..."
...
Hermione had remembered to cast a charm on herself to keep people from bumping into her, like an invisible cushion around her and James. It helped her keep her levels of uneasiness under control while strolling through the stands with the boy, even though she still thought that she was being watched every second step.
"Auntie, look!" James pointed towards a stand with wooden figurines that seemed to move on their own. Eager to see more, he pulled her towards the stand. "Cool..."
Once in front of the stand, Hermione took a look over her shoulder because she thought she had seen a face that brought up a flash memory of the pit guards, a face that was watching her from a distance. A first wave of panic spread through her body, making her tremble. It took her several deep breaths and James squeezing her hand to make her feel more grounded again.
"Can you find all four animals representing the Hogwarts houses?" she said, mostly to distract herself.
He threw her a knowing glance, his hand once more tightening around hers, but then he nodded with a big smile. "Teddy told me a lot about Hogwarts already. And we always say goodbye on the platform when he leaves for school again. Dad and Mum always have tears in their eyes, but his grandma cries the most..."
"Look, there's the badger for Teddy."
"Why is it a badger?" James asked curiously, watching the small figurine move around in its spot.
"Teddy is a bit like a badger I think," Hermione replied. "He's charming and loving, but don't ever attack those he loves. Badgers are very dangerous creatures, and sometimes a lion might run away from one..."
"Never!"
She chuckled at his mocked gasp in shock, and then pointed out at another figure. "Look, there's the lion."
"Dad says I'll be sorted into Gryffindor for sure, says I'm even worse than he was..."
She nodded with a smile. "Oh, your dad has a few stories to tell from his time at Hogwarts, I saved him a lot of times. But your uncles were worse..."
"He never tells anything, always says that I'm not old enough for them yet."
"He'll tell them one day, I'm sure..."
James turned to look at her. "You're feeling better again?"
"Yes, I'm fine. After all, I have a great bodyguard with me."
James' concerned expression softened into a proud smile, even though he still remained somewhat sceptical. "Look, there's a snake too. But why is it hissing at the lion?"
"I think you'll understand that a bit better once you're at Hogwarts. The snake is the symbol of the Slytherin House–"
"Slytherin? Aren't they bad?"
"Who told you that?"
"Just some other boys at the primary school..."
Hermione leaned down to his level. "Some of the bravest people were in Slytherin, and some of the most famous wizards as well. You remember Draco, right?"
James nodding reluctantly, still playing with the lion. "He played with me and Lily when you came over after... after..."
"He was in Slytherin. And he did everything to find me."
"He's actually nice, you know?"
"He is." Hermione smiled softly at the boy's words. "So tell your friends that they are wrong. Or I'll have a word with them."
"You'd scare them." He chuckled and then took up the snake figurine. "We could get Draco a gift, you know for St. Nicolas."
"Why not? Though, I doubt he'll want to come." Hermione gestured to the vendor lady that she'd like to have the figurine wrapped and searched for her wallet.
"Why? He's your friend."
"It's not so easy, you know? Sometimes, relationships between adults are a bit more complicated..." Hermione handed the money to the vendor who held the wrapped snake up for her to take. "But we'll see. And one day, I'll explain what happened, okay? Just not today."
"Okay." James tried to hide his disappointment as he grabbed her hand to guide them through the people; it was a good thing she had brought her beaded bag with the Expanding Charm to keep her purchases in. "The stand of Uncle George and Uncle Fred shouldn't be far away."
But the stand was further away than expected, and Hermione started to have problems keeping her uneasiness under control, and the panic kept creeping back, to the point of overwhelming her vision, making her rely on James to guide them through the people. She tried her best to stay calm for his sake, gritting her teeth and taking repeated deep breaths as they walked through the stands.
She didn't quite notice, but James tried his best to make her stop in front of different stands to distract her for a moment while checking out the items on display. They even found a small gift for Nana, knowing how much she loved chocolate truffles. And a nutcracker for his dad, which made Hermione even giggle as she bought it, even though she couldn't blame James on this one as she wanted to see Harry's face just as much.
"Auntie? Are you okay?" James asked a few steps later as she had stopped walking, her eyes closed. "You look pale. Do you want to get away?"
"I'm fine, James. Just a lot of people, you know..."
He quickly looked around, and then discovered an empty spot between two stands where he could bring her. "Is it because of where you were when you disappeared?"
She nodded, relieved that she could lean against the side of one of the stands for a moment. "There were a lot of people too. And some bad things happened."
"Mum said that we're not supposed to ask about that," James said, looking at her with great concern. "You want me to call her?"
Hermione shook her head, taking a deep breath to loosen the knot in her chest a bit. "Just give me a minute. But you could tell me a bit about what I missed while I was away..."
James hesitated, clearly unsure about the situation; he didn't let go of her hand, though. "Grandpa took us to see the Autumn Fair in the village. They had Nifflers, and you could bet on one before they were set loose in a field to see which one would find the most gold. And Lily says she saw a unicorn."
"They are beautiful," she added, remembering the moment when she had seen one in the Forbidden Forest, in all its pure and silvery beauty.
"But it was just a white horse with a horn when I saw it."
"Did your Niffler win?" Hermione tried her best to ignore the overwhelming noise and instead concentrate on James' story.
Laughing, he shook his head. "It didn't find enough gold. But it was fun to watch them."
After a few more deep breaths, Hermione thought that her panic dissolved a bit, at least enough to be able to continue their stroll with the faint hope that she could hide inside the stand of George and Fred soon. "Come, let's go find your uncles."
James looked at her with his worried eyes before he nodded, not trusting her completely. He was definitely Harry's son, with his heart in the right spot!
...
"Mum! Finally!" James shouted only seconds later, helplessly trying to keep people away from Hermione who was screaming and turning around, no longer able to separate her visions from reality.
"James, take your sister and go straight to your uncles! If they can, let them bring you to Nana. I'll bring your Auntie home."
"What is happening with Auntie?" James asked, sounding scared, but he kept pushing people away.
"You did great, my dear, but right now, just take your sister and leave! I'll explain later!"
James nodded, taking one last look at Hermione before he grabbed his sister and ran away towards his uncles.
Ginny was glad that her son had really been mature enough to immediately use the device to call for her, even though she had hoped that he wouldn't have to. Without thinking any further, she tried to catch her friend's hands, who was still moving wildly. After a short struggle, and glad that she had retained most of her reflexes from her time as active Quidditch player, she finally managed to get a hold of Hermione. "You're safe, do you hear me?"
"No, no!"
"You're safe, Hermione, you're safe..." Repeating those words, Ginny Apparated them out.
Appearing in Hermione's living room, she kicked Ginny hard in the shin, causing her to yelp. "I'm a human being!"
Ignoring the pain in her leg, Ginny didn't let go of her friend, but instead, she managed to guide her to the sofa a few steps behind her. "Hermione, please, you're safe! You're back home, and I'm with you... Calm down, okay?"
"Get away! I'm not yours!" Hermione pushed Ginny away rather roughly so that she barely avoided landing on the sofa table.
"Calm down, Hermione. You're safe, okay? No one will hurt you..." Ginny tried one last time to get through to her friend, but then she realised to her dismay that she was the wrong person to do so. Keeping an eye on her, making sure she wouldn't get off the sofa, Ginny fired up the Floo for a call.
"Ginny?"
"Draco, don't ask. Just come over. Immediately." She saw him nod once before he ended the call; she only had moments to get away from the fireplace before it opened up again for someone to come through.
"What happened—HERMIONE!" Draco didn't lose any more seconds and immediately went over to the still panicking Hermione, grabbing her hand. "I'm here now, my lioness... You're safe, okay?"
Ginny could barely hear Hermione's response, but she was amazed at the almost sudden change in her friend. "H-How...?"
Draco only threw her a glance and shrugged before he returned his focus on calming down Hermione, mostly repeating his soothing words, adding his pet name for her now and then.
Ginny meanwhile felt like an intruder between them, recognising the intimacy of the situation, but she didn't dare move, afraid that she might interrupt the moment. It reminded her a bit of when she had to calm Harry down from his nightmares; it wasn't uncommon that the magic of people who truly loved each other responded deeply to the other—its sheer presence providing a calming effect.
To her relief, Hermione slowly came out of her panic attack, whispering words that she couldn't hear but that made Draco smile softly, even place gentle kisses on her head as he held her close.
It was as if those eight years of separation between those two had never happened—they still cared for each other, and still needed each other.
"Draco... you came..." Whispering those words over and over again, Hermione finally wrapped her arms around his waist, breathing in deeply. "Don't leave me alone, please."
Trying to avoid falling over, he kept her tight in his arms, rubbing her back gently. With a deep sigh, he turned to Ginny who still watched them from the side. "Her potions are upstairs in her nightstand."
"Don't leave me!"
"Shh... I'm not going anywhere, my brave lioness."
Ginny left the living room to climb upstairs where she came across the house-elf who looked something between concerned and downright scared.
"Is the Mistress alright? Does she need help?"
Ginny studied her for a moment before she turned around to find the door to the bedroom. "Draco is with her now. We need her potions."
"Tibby told Mistress it wasn't a good idea to go where there are so many other people. Mistress is not feeling good enough for it. But Mistress didn't listen to Tibby." Muttering, the house-elf hurried into the bedroom, only to come back out with a set of vials.
"Hermione wasn't alone–"
"Mistress should have stayed home, where it is safe. How else is Tibby supposed to keep an eye on Mistress, like Master Draco has told Tibby to?" With a sigh, the house-elf held the vials up for Ginny to take. "Tibby will stay up here..."
Not used to having a house-elf in her own house, Ginny was still a tiny bit perplexed at Tibby's behaviour but took the vials with a grateful smile. "Thanks."
"Is Master Draco going to stay tonight?"
Ginny stopped on the first steps down as she heard the question. It had been a severe panic attack, after all. "Probably. Just be patient with Hermione tonight..."
"Tibby is always patient with Mistress, but is also worried."
Ginny smiled briefly before she continued her way down the stairs. "We all are..."
Draco was still holding Hermione tight in his arms when Ginny returned to the living room, trying to enter as quietly as she could, holding up the vials for him to see.
"I couldn't make it stop," Hermione whispered, muffled by Draco's shirt. "It was like being back there, but everything was blurred, unreal..."
He nodded in acknowledgement and briefly pointed to the vial in Ginny's right hand, the Calming Draught. "It's okay. You probably had a panic attack..."
"No, no, no... Not again." A small sob escaped Hermione, who buried her face in his chest before breathing in deeply, apparently finding solace in his scent.
Draco carefully let go of her, smiling briefly as Ginny handing him the Calming Draught. "You're not alone in this, okay? I'm here, Ginny is here, your friends are here to help."
"He's right, Hermione. We're all here to help if you need us..." Ginny kneeled down next to Draco, gently stroking over her friend's arm to emphasise her words. "There's no need to play the strong one, okay?"
Surprised to hear her, Hermione turned her head to look at Ginny, and after the briefest of smiles, she nodded. Only then, her eyes widened in apprehension. "Oh gods! James! I must have scared him!"
"Hermione, please! He's okay, he was great and did exactly what he was supposed to do. He even kept people away from you as good as he could..."
"I didn't mean to scare him like that! I really thought I could manage it, but... but there were so many people!" Trembling, Hermione cuddled up on the sofa, blindly searching for a throw to cover herself. "My head just wouldn't stop spinning, so many pictures and faces everywhere... Oh gods, did I... did I turn?"
Ginny shook her head. "I couldn't see anything."
"Take this," Draco said calmly but firmly as he held up the opened vial. His tone made it clear that he didn't accept any refusal, and Ginny thought she could hear the smallest hint of irritation buried underneath his concern.
Ginny nodded in support of his words when Hermione looked at her in confusion. She didn't want to leave until she knew that Hermione had taken the potion, she was still far too upset and could easily fall back into her panic.
With a defeated sigh, Hermione took the vial and gulped it down, only to flinch at the taste. Once finished, she shifted into a half-lying position, avoiding their gaze. "I should have known better..."
Draco pressed his lips into a thin line, and he let out a small sigh. "We'll talk about that tomorrow with Dr Pendry, okay? No need to fuss about it now."
Hermione opened her mouth to say something in response, but then refrained when she saw his concern. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Ginny said with a reassuring smile. "Just take the chance and talk with Dr Pendry tomorrow, it'll help."
"Yeah, might probably be best." Taking a deep breath, Hermione reached out, searching for Draco's hand, who offered it willingly.
"I got it from here," he said quietly, leaning towards Ginny on his side. His expression had relaxed a bit—he was still concerned, but there was also a small comforting smile as he let his thumb draw circles on the back of Hermione's hand.
"Are you sure?" Ginny asked in the same whispering tone, watching her friend relax in response to the Draught and the caresses.
"She'll be fine. It's not the first time I've dealt with a panic attack."
"Okay." His calm reassurance was all Ginny needed; she knew that Hermione was in good hands now, so she didn't feel guilty to leave her to check on her children. With a cracking sound in her knees, she got up. "I'll let James know that you're okay. He's probably still worried about everything."
Hermione nodded exhausted, rubbing her free hand over her face. "Tell him I'm sorry because I didn't mean to scare him like that. And tell him that he really was brave, just like his dad."
"He was," Ginny said with a little proud swell in her chest, knowing that she had taught her son the right thing. She even ignored Draco's chuckle, though she wanted to give him a nudge in the ribs for it.
With a last emphatic smile towards Hermione, she finally stepped into the fireplace, her hand full of Floo powder to be cast. "I'll check on you tomorrow."
...
Ginny couldn't even step out of the fireplace at the Burrow before James came running towards her.
"Mum! Is she okay?" He grabbed her hand as soon as she made it out of the fireplace, only to pull her towards the kitchen. "Is she going to be okay, Mum?"
"Yes, my dear. Hermione's going to be fine." Ginny was glad to find Lily playing with her mother, trying to find matching pairs amongst covered cards, while James was still all excited and worried.
Molly looked up as they entered the room, a questioning look on her face. "What happened? James couldn't quite explain, as excited as he was..."
"Hermione had a panic attack at the Christmas market. But James here was smart and brave at that moment."
"Just like Dad!" James exclaimed proudly and finally let go of her hand to return to the table, sitting down next to his sister.
"Yeah, just like Dad," Ginny repeated with a chuckle before she went over to the counter to make herself a tea. She would have loved a stronger drink after the events of the afternoon, but not in front of her children.
Molly got up after laying the cards out again for the children to play a round together. "You didn't leave her alone, did you?"
"Gods, no! Draco is taking care of her now." Ginny sighed and leaned against the counter, waiting for the kettle to whistle.
"Good, good," Molly muttered absent-mindedly as she looked over to the children who were still searching the card pairs. "He still cares a lot about her. And it's a good thing he knows now."
Ginny looked at her mother with a surprised furrow of her brows. "You knew?"
Molly nodded with a shrug. "Me and Harry, yes. No one else."
"I was shocked when she told me–"
"I was too. But she needs all the support she can get right now."
Watching her children discuss whether a pair of cards belonged together or not, Ginny nodded in response to her mother's words. "You know, watching him soothe her down was like they've never been apart. I'm just glad he's giving her another chance, after everything they've been through."
"As I know them, they'll be close by Christmas, you'll see." With a teasing smile, Molly went to the pantry cupboard to find some biscuits from the top shelf. "We should invite him to our fest as well... I still have the green wool somewhere that I used for his jumpers–"
"Do you think that's a good idea, them getting back together?" Ginny asked. "I mean, the break-up was bad and... and–"
"No one knows." Molly stopped her search for the right biscuit box to send her daughter a disbelieving glance. "We shouldn't push them, though. It's up to them to figure it out."
Ginny nodded, remembering the brief smile on Draco's face earlier, giving away his feelings for that split second it had lasted. With that in mind, she realised that her mother was probably right—or at least she wouldn't be surprised to see them act more intimately around each other by Christmas. "I wouldn't mind one of your dark chocolate truffles after today."
Molly smiled broadly as she pulled the box with the truffles out, just as the kettle started to whistle. "Yeah, I think we deserved them."