If the Roles Were Reversed

by Glon Morski

I: Until he fell down the well and 500 years into the past, Inuyasha didn't believe in legends. His beliefs were challenged when he found himself in a world in which said legends are reality. Problem? He wants to leave that world behind, while it is unwilling to let him go. And so he begins a search for a substitute for a duty, aided by Kagome, his slef-proclaimed hanyo protector.

44. Father and Daughter

Well, would you look at that, IRWR isn't on break, after all. Hope that's a pleasant surprise :3 And as promised, this chapter is extra-long… kinda ;) Hope you enjoy.

On another note, you might want to go back to the previous chapter to read the foot-note about the Sanzu River, it'll make understanding of certain parts of this chapter easier.

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ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS:

animefan21: Cunning, deceitful and cruel? Alright, I might agree on the cruel part, but come on, how was I deceitful or cunning? I warned that there was angst ahead and I did say some people might need tissues, so you can't say I haven't at least somewhat warned you. You have been warned. You apparently just decided to ignore that, though :p But I do hope the wait has been worth it :3

That-Other-One: Biggest plot-twist ever? Nah, I don't think so, there's much more twisted than this little surprise. But I have to say I'm glad to know at least some people have been surprised :) Thank you for reviewing :D

Dino-Rogue (review for chapter 42): Well, after three years, or even longer, of writing, I think it should be expected that I know how to keep my readers interested LOL By the way, how did you enjoy the angst? And why didn't you review chapter 43? Did you, like, miss it was already there last time or something? Then again, you might have just not felt like it…

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Tracks for this chapter:

Within Temptation: Our Farewell

Do As Infinity: Need Your Love

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What happened last time: With the illusionist defeated, the group hurries back to Kaede's village so Kagome can get her wounds treated. Despite their best efforts, however, the wounds turn out to be too severe for Kaede to do much about Kagome's fate and the half-demon's soul travels to the Sanzu River, where she meets her father and mother. She's about to cross the bridge and enter the world of the dead, as she should. She had died, after all. Or had she...?

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Chapter 44 – Father and Daughter

When Shugonin released his daughter from the tight, but gentle hug he had enveloped her in, Kagome couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed. Still, she let him retreat and didn't allow herself to cling to him despite wanting to do just that. This might have been the first time that she has truly met her father, but she wasn't a tiny pup now. She was a grown, teenage half-demon, even a grown woman by her era's standards (or at least woman of marriageable age) and she needed to act like it. Besides, one look at her father's eyes was enough for her to know that there was something important he needed to talk to her about. This was no time for teary reunions – if she could consider this meeting a 'reunion' at all. It felt more like a first meeting, even though she instinctively knew who he was and her heart reacted as if she had always known him.

"What did you wish to speak to me about, otou-sama?" Kagome asked softly when the much older demon retreated fully and leaned on the railing of the bridge that bound the two banks of the Sanzu-no-Kawa. She mimicked his actions and rested her elbows on the railing, her eyes never leaving his profile.

Just by looking at him, Kagome could understand why her mother had been so taken with him. If he weren't her father, Kagome suspected she would have probably been interested in him that way, too. He just seemed to be almost too attractive for his own good.

His features were stern and firm, though with his current expression, it didn't make him look intimidating at all. Quite the contrary, just by looking at him, Kagome knew that just like her and her mother, her father was a kind soul. Not that it should come as a surprise, as her mother had repeatedly told her that her father was very kind and very much capable of love. His face was smooth and he was overall extremely handsome. The two, deep blue wide stripes on his cheeks (one on each), which were one of the few indication that he was in fact yōkai, only added to his appeal. His eyes were the same golden color that Kagome knew from looking at her reflection and his hair was the same silver as hers, as well, though it was probably longer. It was tied in a high pony tail only a little behind the top of his head and it reached all the way down to his waist, the bangs covering his forehead being the only part of it that seemed unruly.

He was clad in a white hakama and kimono with a blue coloring near his collar, which Kagome suspected was a part of some sort of pattern, and had a red, flowing sash. The reason Kagome couldn't discern whether his kimono had an actual pattern or not was because most of it was covered by heavy armor – a breastplate with a spiked rim, armored gauntlets and a spiked pauldron on each shoulder. The back of his shoulders was the attach-point of some sort of white fur that looked almost like a cloak with the way it flowed behind him – the same kind of fur as Sesshōmaru's mokomoko. It wasn't exactly like a cloak, however, for it was parted in the middle, forming two separate 'tails' instead of one. Both of those tails reached the ground and were undoubtedly trailing behind Shugonin gracefully whenever he walked.

Currently, the great Dog Lord was weaponless, but somehow, Kagome knew that while he was alive, he wore at least the Tessaiga at his waist, if only since he had met her mother. Tessaiga was made to protect her, after all.

"You're observant, my daughter," Shugonin replied to Kagome's earlier question, not really answering it, but not avoiding it, either. Kagome forced herself not to shrug, feeling such an action would be somehow inappropriate in her father's presence.

"I am on the bridge that would allow me to cross the Sanzu River. A river, which I may only cross once. Before I get to even half of the bridge, my father comes to me to talk, effectively halting my progress. That cannot be coincidence, otou-sama. If you had simply wanted to talk, you could have waited for me on the other side. Instead, both you and mother came to meet me," the young half-demon said as her eyes roamed the river below and its end on the horizon. Despite the rather horrid surroundings everywhere else, there was no denying the river itself was truly beautiful and Kagome found herself unable to look away from it. "You want to somehow make me go back to the world of the living, don't you," she finally stated, more than asked. Shugonin closed his eyes in response, a small smile gracing his lips even as he allowed a small sigh to escape him.

"Does that surprise you, darling?" Hikari suddenly asked from Kagome's left, causing the hanyō-girl to turn and look at her mother. "Is it surprising that we want you to live? Is it unnatural for us, as your parents, to do everything we can to keep you alive?"

"Of course not," the silver haired girl replied calmly as she once again turned to observe the river. There was just something captivating about it. Something that was drawing her in, or at the very least attempted to, but with very meager results as she remained unmoved on the bridge. "But why are you trying so hard now? I mean, if I'm already here, it means I'm dead and my time in the world of the living is over… right?" somehow, she didn't sound too sure of herself.

"That may be true. But you did not come by yourself. It was the Saznu River that washed you ashore," Shugonin replied, his eyes also trained on the water below as if it held all the answers to all the questions in the world. And maybe it did.

"Indeed. And that has never happened before. The dead aren't brought by Sanzu's current. They come because there's no other path for them to walk on," Hikari added as she pushed herself away from the railing and took a step away from it. Blinking, Kagome straightened her arms, and thus also her posture, as she glanced at her mother, though her arms remained on the bridge's railing.

"What do you mean, kaa-san? That I'm not supposed to be here?" she whispered, part of her feeling scared and another feeling glad. She didn't know which emotion was stronger, though. It was as if she weren't sure if she wanted to die or remain alive and had it not been for who she was with and the impossibility of this meeting, Kagome would have wondered why she seemed so uncertain, as her will to live had never wavered before.

"I don't know," her mother replied truthfully. "All I know is that your coming here didn't happen the way it should if it was indeed your time. But I know not what it means. Nor does your father. But we believe that if there are any answers to be found, you probably already have them. You only need to reach out and grasp them, darling," she added, smiling at her daughter reassuringly.

"I… already know the answer?" that seemed as good as impossible. How could she know the answer if she knew as little as her mother and father, if not even less than the both of them?

"No, Kagome. But the answer definitely lies in your reach," Hikari corrected as she slowly started to walk away. "And I believe your father can help you reach that answer, darling. So I'm going to leave you alone, to talk privately. Take all the time you need."

"Do not leave the bridge, mate," Shugoning said warningly after her as he turned his head slightly to glance at her, causing Hikari's smile to widen.

"Worry not, my love. I will not."

And with that, she walked away, leaving father and daughter alone for the first time in either of their lives… or afterlife, as it were. With a sigh, Kagome leaned her elbows on the railing of the bridge once more, her eyes staring at the slowly flowing water below as she tried to think of something to say. While she was happy that she got to meet her father, the fact remained that she didn't know him and didn't know how to address him or what to talk to him about, causing a very uncomfortable silence to fall between them. Shugonin was the one to speak first.

"I do not want you to misunderstand, Kagome. I do not plan to force you to go back or to make you do so. I am simply here to make sure you're certain this is what you want. My wish is to ensure you do not regret dying once it is too late to go back," he said solemnly, his eyes betraying what his words and voice did not. He wasn't entirely truthful, that much was obvious. It was also obvious, however, that his half-lie was only to be expected. After all, what father would want to see his daughter die if he could do something about it?

"But why do you and kaa-san keep speaking like it's up to me to decide in the end, otou-sama?" Kagome asked, her voice and expression betraying the confusion she felt. "It's not like I'm the one to decide whether I live or die. If I'm already here, it means I'm dead and should remain dead, no?"

"If what you are saying were true, my daughter, neither me nor your mother would be here right now. We would have already been reincarnated. It was our choice to go against the ten judges and remain here instead of starting a new life," her father replied, a mischievous smirk now gracing his lips. It was obvious he was not one who liked to obey rules, he was rather someone who was used to making them. He did as he pleased when he was alive and it was obvious he intended to keep doing just that even in the afterlife.

"Why did you chose to stay?" the young hanyō couldn't help but ask, her curiosity getting the better of her. Shugonin merely sighed.

"Because we did not want to be separated," he replied as if it were obvious. "Demons like to believe that when they find their mates, they're bound forever and nothing, not even death can separate them. But if one stops to think about it, it is more than obvious that such an outcome is too good to be true. The judges think little of who you were connected to in your life and what kind of a connection it was. All they care about is how you lived your life and thus where you shall be reincarnated."

"So I'm guessing they decided that kaa-san and otou-sama are not to be reincarnated in the same realm?"

"Alas, no. Your mother was to be sent back to the human world, to live a life much like the one she was supposed to live before meeting me. She was to be a hime again. While I, as someone who died in combat, was to be reincarnated in the realm of the fighting spirits. Finding each other in such circumstances would be impossible in the new life awaiting us. Those two realms aren't even on the same plane of existence. So instead, we went against the judges and refused to be reborn, remaining here, instead. Although I had refused rebirth long before she even came here. I did not wish to be reborn before knowing where she was to be sent."

"You wanted to see her again before being reborn," Kagome stated, unsurprised when her father merely nodded in agreement. She had to say, the man before her was different than how she had always imagined him to be from Myouga's stories. The flea had always made it sound as if her father was some icy, emotionless, extremely powerful demon who crushed any and all enemies that stood in his way. In those stories, he was someone to be feared, someone before whom you bowed low and hoped he did not decide to kill you. In those stories, he was someone Kagome knew even she would have been afraid of.

However, as she looked at him now, she couldn't help but thing that while true, Myouga's stories were very exaggerated. Of course, her father was a warrior through and through and he was also very powerful, just like the flea demon had always said. However, there was nothing terrifying about him. There couldn't be, not with the kindness and love that seemed to radiate of him like the light radiated of the sun, just like her mother had always said. No, her mother's stories definitely rang much more true than Myouga's had.

"The world of the Asura, huh," the young half-demon thought aloud as she sent another glance at her father. "Whatever gave the judges that idea? You wouldn't fit in there at all, otou-sama," she couldn't help but comment, her eyes only able to see the kindness in him and overlooking the terrifying power that had others cowering before Shugonin's might. The great daiyōkai narrowed his eyes and straightened his posture, effectively towering over his suddenly-wide-eyed daughter as he stared down at her with a disapproving look on her face.

"Wouldn't I?" he asked her, his youki spiking suddenly in an attempt to intimidate. Kagome, however, was not moved by the display in the slightest. Even though she had only met this yōkai a few moments before, she knew he would not hurt her. She shook her head, but then turned it so that her throat was bared, her actions submissive when her words were not.

"You would not, otou-sama," she said with conviction as she turned her head upward as if to stare at him, though her eyes remained closed in an action of perfect trust as her throat still remained bared and unprotected, allowing him to easily end her if he so wished – or at least, that would be true if they were both still alive. Whether Shugonin could truly kill his daughter where they were now, neither knew, but Kagome's actions didn't lose their importance because of it.

"You are a mighty warrior and someone who's clearly much more powerful than anyone I have ever met in my life. But still, you would not fit in the world of the fighting ghosts. Not with the kindness I can smell rolling off of you, otou-sama," the silver haired girl continued, opening her eyes and moving her head so that her neck was no longer bared when Shugonin's hand ghosted over it in silent permission to do just that. "You might have killed many, but even though I haven't witnessed even one of your battles, I can tell you never killed out of pure enjoyment. You killed and fought out of necessity, not because you liked doing it."

Her words actually made her father chuckle as he stepped away from her and once again leaned on the railing, his golden eyes roaming the horizon, but obviously focusing on the Sanzu River. Just like his daughter, the Great Dog seemed to be captivated by the river's sight somewhat.

"You forget, Kagome, that those reincarnated as Asura aren't people who love fighting, but people who died surrounded by combat and hatred. And that was just the way I had died," her father admitted with a soft sigh. "While I was fighting to protect my mate and daughter, once it was over, I still felt hatred for Ryukotsussei, and especially his children. I wanted to bring them back, but only so I could kill them again, for if it were not for them, I could have lived with my mate and my daughter, something I had longed for more than even I realized at the time. That is why the kings of hell deemed it right that I be reincarnated in the realm of the fighting demons."

"Well, I still think that's a wrong judgment and that otou-sama doesn't belong into that realm," Kagome scoffed, causing Shugonin to chuckle.

"You are more observant than I would have thought you would be, my daughter. We have barely met and already you seem to know me as if I had been there for the entirety of your life," he said, his voice sounding a tad bit sad and regretful, a note Kagome didn't fail to miss. Immediately, her own ears lowered as well and her somewhat-good mood faded into nothing. She suspected that was one of the reasons she didn't want to think much about going back to the world of the living even if she had a chance to. Here, she could be with her mother and father, with her pack, at least. There, she would be alone again, and would remain that way for all of her life. It wasn't something she really wanted to return to. And yet, there was something nagging at her in the back of her mind, telling her that her thoughts were wrong. Even in the world of the living, she wasn't alone.

And as if to prove her right, the image in the water she was gazing at changed and her reflection turned into something else. She couldn't help the soft smile that appeared on her lips as it did and she turned her head to glance at her father, missing when the image dissolved and her own reflection reappeared on the water's surface again.

"Well, you might not have been there for the entirety of my life, otou-sama… but you have been with me lately, were you not? You watched over me, protected me, helped my protect those I wanted to protect… Through Tessaiga, you were with me, were you not?" she asked, although the way she phrased it sounded more like an acknowledgment than a question. As she spoke, her hand traveled toward her waist, but the sword she was talking about was not there.

"I suppose you could see it that way," Shugonin agreed, though he didn't look very convinced. "Tessaiga, just like Tenseiga, was made from my fang. It is a part of my body, a part of my power and a part of my soul, so I suspect it is a part of me as a whole."

Tenseiga was something Kagome had never heard about, though she suspected it was another sword. She didn't even think about that, however, her mind focused on something else entirely, something she realized only now and something she couldn't have possibly realized before.

"Tessaiga has your voice," she said before he could stop herself, causing Shugonin to blink before he glanced at his daughter questioningly. Reading the unspoken question in his eyes, Kagome explained to him how sometimes, she could hear Tessaiga talking to her. She told him how it spoke to her when it was deciding whether to let her be its wielder or not, how it kept talking to her, though she didn't always understand its words, and how progressively, it's tone turned more and more into the voice her father had. It was as if Tessaiga itself was only now realizing that it was in fact part of the Western Lord, and not his servant of sorts, and that Kagome was more than just the person who happened to inherit it. The sword was part of her father and the more time she spent with it, the more it acted like she knew her father would if he was with her. "So you see, even though you're not there physically, you're watching over me. You always did, even before Tessaiga. After all, wasn't the Black Pearl made of your youki, as well, father?"

"It was indeed," her father replied, a soft smile gracing his features again. It was Kagome's turn to sigh sadly as she turned back to the river below.

"All this time, you were really with me. I was just too blind to see it. Too blind to realize I was never alone," she whispered, feeling ashamed of herself for not realizing it sooner. She should have realized it. But why hadn't she?

"It was not enough," Shugonin murmured back, the smile disappearing from his face as if it had never been there to begin with. "I still couldn't protect you from anything. Not even in battle. If it had been enough, you wouldn't be here now," he continued, a sad sigh escaping him. Kagome opened her mouth to protest, but she wasn't allowed to. "Tell me, my daughter, why did you die? What exactly caused it?"

"Well…" Kagome started as she tried to recall exactly her last moments before waking here. There wasn't much that her mind was able to dig up, though. "I was fighting a demon shortly before I died, so I guess the reason were the wounds I sustained," she finally said, though she couldn't help but think that there was something important she was missing. But what could that be?

"Were they severe enough to kill Sesshōmaru?" Shugonin asked slowly, causing Kagome to frown. It didn't take her very long to remember who he was talking about, however, as her half-brother's face immediately jumped to the forefront of her mind. Now that she thought about it, Sesshōmaru looked a lot like their father did, only that his features were definitely more girly. In any other situation, Kagome might have laughed at the realization, but as things were, she merely scoffed.

"I doubt it. Sesshōmaru is powerful and he's a full demon. I don't think anything short of beheading could kill him," she said, only a little part of her wondering why her father was bringing her half-brother up, or why he was frowning now that she had answered.

"Then why would they be enough to kill you?" he asked in a low tone, as if daring Kagome to give him a certain response he knew he would not approve of. The young half-demon blinked, surprised that her father would ask such a question.

"Because I'm not my half-brother," she replied calmly, "nor am I the same as him. He is a yōkai. I am a hanyō…"

"And how would that answer my question?" Shugonin interrupted her, his eyes narrowing further. Somehow, Kagome was starting to have the feeling she was disappointing him somehow and her ears drooped at the thought. She didn't want to be a disappointment. "You are both my children. My blood flows in both his veins and yours. So why would wounds that cannot possibly kill your brother be enough to end your life, Kagome?"

"Because Sesshōmaru is stronger than I am. His blood is stronger than mine. He and I may both have your blood in our veins, otou-sama, but except from that, I have my mother's blood in my veins, and Sesshōmaru has his mother's blood. My mother was human. His was a yōkai. It's only natural that he'd be more powerful and harder to kill than me."

"Why? Because you are 'only' a half-demon?" Shugonin asked, now visibly irritated. "How does that make you any less than any other demon, Kagome?"

"It doesn't make me anything less than any other demon," Kagome snapped back, immediately going on the defensive. "I'm not any worse than any other human or yōkai out there. I'm not anything lesser than anyone else. And I'm not ashamed of what I am," she continued to defend herself, even though the last thing was not something her father had accused her of (up until now, anyway). "But still, I am a hanyō. Half-human, half-yōkai. Thanks to otou-san's powerful blood, I'm stronger than most other lesser or mid-class yōkai, sure. But I cannot compete with a full demon of that same blood."

She was hardly realizing it, but she was actually repeating what many other people had always wanted to make her believe. She was a hanyō – a being that wasn't a full yōkai and as such could never be as powerful as one. A being whose blood was diluted, weakened by the part of her that was human. She had always said she didn't believe it when others tried to tell her she was worth less than them just because of her blood, but if she had stopped and analyzed her own words in that moment, she would have realized that she had been lying. She had believed those words and had allowed them put her down even in her own eyes, just like she was in everyone else's, even though on the outside, she acted nothing like it. But then again, her behavior could also be considered an attempt to prove to herself that she wasn't as weak as others tended to think because of her heritage, had she but realized it.

Alas, she hadn't realized it. But her father had and sighed deeply. Without a word, his eyes moved from his daughter to the river below and then to the railing of the bridge he was leaning on. Then, his eyes narrowed and he raised a hand before using one of his nails to dig into the wood and carve something on the surface of the railing.

"Otou-sama?" Kagome asked in bewilderment as she leaned closer to see what he was doing. It didn't take long for Shugonin to finish his carving and he moved his hand away, allowing his daughter to see his handy work. Kagome's eyes widened as she stared at the symbol her father had carved, recognizing it immediately even though she had seen it only once or twice in her life.

"Do you know what this is, Kagome?" Shugonin asked her as he took a step away, his stern eyes never leaving his daughter, who in turn kept staring at the symbol her father had carved into the wood.

"The Yin Yang," she replied without hesitation, her head moving to glance at her father questioningly. But before she could ask what this symbol had to do with their previous topic of conversation, Shugonin went on.

"And what can you tell me about it? What makes it special?"

Kagome bit her lip as her eyes wandered over the symbol once again. She couldn't help but remember a stone painted just like that symbol she had found once when she was little, and how utterly amazing it had seemed to her when the two differently colored halves could be put together into one, perfect whole.

"I guess it would be the fact that it's a whole made of two halves that, separately, don't seem like they would fit together at all," she said slowly as she looked up at her father again. The much older demon nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer.

"Indeed," he agreed, "this is the perfect example of two things that don't seem to match making a wholly harmonic entirety. An entirety that has two halves which seem to come from two entirely different wholes and yet manage to make a new whole. Doesn't that remind you of something, my daughter?" the Great Dog asked as his golden eyes settled on his daughter and watched her expectantly. Kagome frowned, wondering what her father was trying to tell her. But she didn't wonder for long as her father's words fully registered in her brain and triggered a memory of these same words she had once said herself.

"Hanyō could be considered two different halves of two different wholes that came together to make a new whole, a mix of the previous two wholes," her own words resonated in her head, making her briefly wonder who she might have said them to. It sounded like she was explaining what she was to someone, but who on earth would need an explanation to know what a half-demon was?

"It's like me," she replied to her father's question, shoving her confusing thoughts into the back of her mind to reflect on later. "I'm a hanyō, half demon and half human, neither fully one nor the other – two different halves of two different wholes that made a new whole," she continued, quite certain that this was the reply her father had wanted to hear. And indeed, he seemed quite satisfied.

"Quite right. But look closely at this symbol, Kagome. As we established, there are two halves of two different origins that made a new entirety. And yet, it is entirely black and white, with no gray in between. Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

"Why would it?" Kagome asked back as she glanced down at the symbol once again. "The Yin Yang represents balance of two opposites that can never mix. So of course there wouldn't be any gray. If they'd mix, if there was any gray, then they wouldn't be balanced at all, because the moment when black mixes with white when both are equal, they cancel each other out and there isn't even any gray left. So for Yin and Yang to coexist in harmony like they do, they must never mix," she said as she looked up at her father, wanting to ask what he was getting at. The telling smile that now graced his features, however, made her voice die in her throat. She didn't need to ask anything anymore. Just by looking at him, she knew what he was getting at.

"Are you trying to tell me that my human and demon blood… aren't intertwined at all, otou-sama?" she asked, hardly believing her own words. That couldn't be true. There was just no way. If her human and demon blood never mixed, it would have to mean she had two separate blood circulation systems in her body and that just wasn't possible. Or maybe it was? Her father definitely seemed to think that way.

"Why would they be, Kagome? Humans and demons may not be polar opposites like Yin and Yang, but they're different enough to never mix. That much is apparent even in your own appearance. Why would your blood be any different?" Shugonin asked calmly, sounding like he was stating something he had known for a long while and something he had expected his daughter to know, too. Stunned, Kagome blinked before directing her eyes at the river below to gaze at her own reflection.

Now that she thought about it, her father was right. While her appearance betrayed her mixed heritage and could be considered a 'half-transformed form', there was actually nothing about it that was truly 'mixed'. She had the body of any normal human, aside from a few very specific details. For one, her eyes were gold – the same gold that Sesshōmaru's and Shugonin's eyes, not a mix between their gold and the grey-blue she knew she had in her human form. Same went for her hair, which was jet black whenever her demonic features faded, but became a perfect silver, the same as that of her half-brother and that of her father, whenever she was in her true form - silver, not gray, which it would be if her human and demonic features were mixed with each other. And then, there were her ears. While they were completely demonic, there was no trace of them left when she turned human. They just disappeared. And while some might think they were the testimony to her blood being mixed, Kagome knew better now.

These ears that have often been the first (and sometimes even only) reason she had been recognized to be a hanyō, were something that sat atop her head as if they have been added there as an after-thought. They were furry, covered with a white fur that was restricted only to those appendages – if her human and demon characteristics were truly mixed with each other, that probably wouldn't have been the case.

Then there were her claws. But even they could be considered an addition. Her hand looked perfectly human otherwise, the claws were merely there in place of normal human nails and she could tell exactly where they began and the skin of her hand ended. In other words, she could tell exactly where the line between her demonic and human-like appearance was, just like she could see exactly the line that separated Yin and Yang from each other even when they were connected.

"But how could my human and demon blood not be mixed, otou-sama?" she finally asked, her mind unable to wrap around such a concept yet. Shugonin glanced at her with a questioning look, as if he wanted to ask her why she couldn't comprehend such a simple notion. And in the end, his answer to her question was a question of his own.

"How could they be, Kagome?" he asked back as he once again leaned on the railing, now looking completely relaxed. "Why would you even think they were considering what happens once a month?"

"You mean when I turn human?" Kagome asked uncertainly, causing her father to nod. "How does that prove to me that my human blood and demon blood aren't mixed?"

"If they were, you would be much more affected on the day you turn human than you are, don't you think, my daughter?" Shugonin asked her, once again only replying with his own question. Kagome had a feeling he loved doing that, but surprisingly, it didn't irritate her too much. That was probably because his questions always led to the answer she was looking for, though.

She liked the way he was making her re-discover herself. He obviously knew something about her that she did not, but instead of simply telling her and hoping she would trust his words and believe him, he slowly pushed her in the direction of the correct answer so she could see for herself what the truth was. It made her wonder what other things he might have taught her that way if he had not died. And it made her sad that she would never know the answer to that.

"How would I be more affected by it?" she asked in an attempt to get her mind off the gloomy path it had strayed on. Her father obviously noticed the change in her mood, but luckily, the Great Dog didn't comment on it.

"Think about it, my daughter. Whenever you turn human, it is because your demon blood disappears for a set period of time. But if it were mixed with your human blood, how would it be possible for it to vanish while your human blood remained intact? For that matter, how would it be possible for that blood to turn into nothing without you reacting like to severe blood loss? Because we both know that's what it would be. And the same applies to whenever you have been purified – every time, your demonic blood would disappear from your body, and yet you wouldn't react to that blood loss at all. It's like you never even noticed it had occurred."

That would probably be because she hadn't. She had turned human countless times in her life already, both in the natural and the forced way, but never had she actually felt as if the transformation had caused her to lose any blood. Such an idea seemed ridiculous and she knew it. The only way to lose any blood would be through bleeding and she had never bled because of transforming into a human and she hadn't ever sucked up any blood when turning back into a hanyō, either, which would have to happen if she indeed lost blood when turning human. That was why she had always known that her blood didn't fully disappear. It just went dormant for a while, and Kagome opened her mouth to tell her father just that when the stupidity of such a belief occurred to her. That wasn't possible either, for how could blood fall asleep?

The answer was painfully obvious: it couldn't.

Of course, had Kagome been alive some five hundred years later, she might have thought that while the blood cells couldn't 'fall asleep', the genes that made sure these cells were even created certainly could. However, if that were to happen, it would still lead to her demon blood disappearing or being destroyed somehow in the long run.

But blood couldn't just disappear either. That wasn't possible. Or maybe it was? It wasn't like her ears remained where they should be whenever she was human, and any other of her demonic characteristics didn't, either. They all disappeared as if they had never been there, only to regenerate seemingly from nothing whenever her youki returned.

Her youki. The demonic energy that made her into what she was, that defined her as her. Without it, she was human. When it got too strong, she became full demon. It was what made her who she was. It was the energy that fueled everything in her that was demonic.

Energy was power – and power could fall dormant.

Suddenly, everything made sense and, now that she understood it, it was so painfully obvious and simple that Kagome wondered how she didn't realize all of that long before now on her own. No wonder her father had been disappointed when she insisted her human and demon blood were intertwined. It couldn't be because that wouldn't make any sense. She understood that now, though she had to wonder how she hadn't seen it before. It was so obvious if she only thought about it a little…

"I guess I'm not as observant as you thought, otou-sama," Kagome finally spoke, her voice solemn but her features were drawn into a soft, peaceful smile. "I always thought that as a half-demon, I'm the perfect example of balance – that within me, my human and demon blood were in perfect, if slightly unstable balance that could tip any moment, and that that balance defined who I was. But I never realized that somehow, at some point, I started thinking that 'blood' and 'energy' were the same.

"It's not my blood that's in balance. It can't be because the blood in my veins is not equal, so it cannot mix. If it did, my human blood would quickly cease to exist. But the same can't be said for energy. And that's what makes the balance – the harmony between my youki and the life-energy of my human half," she said, feeling more than knowing that she was right. It was the only explanation that made sense, anyway, especially concerning the reason why the balance inside of her could turn in favor of her human half, or her demonic half. If it had been blood that was in balance, then there wouldn't be a day when she turned human, because her demonic blood was stronger than her human blood. But the same couldn't be said for energy.

Once a month, her youki would fall dormant and the life-energy of her human part would use it to tip the scales in its favor, thus causing all of her demonic characteristics, both visible and not, to disappear. That included the characteristics inside of her body, which meant her demon blood truly disappeared whenever she turned human. But she had never noticed it, or thought of it as blood loss, because humans didn't need or have that blood circulation system to begin with. And when her youki re-awakened, it would force her human energy down a bit, so that her demonic side could resurface again – and her blood and other characteristics would regenerate seemingly out of nothing.

On another hand, whenever she was in a situation close to death or something like that, her human life-energy was the first to weaken, as humans died easier than demons. Once it did, her youki would overpower it and force it into submission without fully annihilating it. That was when she transformed into a full demon, or at the very least relatively close to that.

"I see you finally understand," Shugoning said, his voice betraying his happiness and self-satisfaction. "Now that you do, tell me, Kagome, do you still think that a wound that would not kill Sesshōmaru is a wound that should kill you?"

This time, Kagome actually considered the question before responding to her father's question. Considering all that he helped her realize about herself just now, it wasn't hard to figure out what he wanted to hear. And yet, Kagome still couldn't understand why it would be that way.

"If I simply think about what you have made me see, then logically, I would have to guess you wish to hear me say 'no', otou-sama," she finally said. "But I don't understand how that can be. Even if my blood is not mixed, even if it's in fact my energies that are in balance, I'm still a hanyō, not a yōkai like Sesshōmaru. So why would I compare his might to mine when he's obviously the stronger one?"

"Strength has nothing to do with it. Only power does – the power of your youki. And while Sesshōmaru is indeed stronger than you, he's not more powerful, at least if one considers the power you both use and the power you both refuse to use," Shugonin replied easily, causing Kagome to blink in confusion. She glanced at her father from the corner of her eye, her gaze questioning.

"How can he be stronger, yet not more powerful than me?" she finally asked. "Otou-sama, you're contradicting yourself."

"Am I?" the daiyōkai asked easily. "Kagome, do you really think that strength equals power? We both know that's not true. You can be strong without being powerful, just as you can be powerful and yet weak. For a demon, what defines strength isn't our youki, it's not our power. What defines a yōkai's strength is the control he has over that power. That is why Sesshōmaru is stronger than you – his control far exceeds yours. But at his core, the difference between his power and yours isn't as big as both of you think."

"But how can that be, otou-sama? How can I possibly hold the same amount of power Sesshōmaru does if I'm only half of what he is?"

For a second, and eerie silence fell between the two of them after Kagome's question. But it only lasted a second. Then, the eerie, but peaceful atmosphere was shattered as Shugonin's power suddenly skyrocketed. Surprised, Kagome turned towards her father and took a surprised step back when she saw his expression.

There was no doubt about it: her father was livid. Somehow, she had managed to anger him and the display of might that ensued because of it made her agree with Myouga's description of her father after all. The man was truly terrifying when he wanted to be, which was probably right now. Unable to help herself, Kagome whimpered and moved to bare her throat again, for the first time in at least a century actually feeling terrified out of her mind. But before she could submit to her father, the elder grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look into his cold, golden eyes.

Now she knew where Sesshōmaru got that freezing, threatening look whenever he was truly mad from. Only Shugonin was much better at doing it.

"Did you not tell me you did not think you were anything lesser than anyone else," the enraged daiyōkai growled, the sound of his voice causing Kagome to gulp.

"I don't think that way," she answered in an attempt to defend herself, but her words merely caused Shugonin's youki to spike again and his grip on her to strengthen. His claws easily pierced the fire-rat-robe and Kagome's skin, but the hanyō hardly realized the pain, her terror overriding any other feeling.

"Then why would you say you're 'half of what Sesshōmaru is'?"

"Because it's true!" Kagome yelled back as she clenched her eyes shut. Deep inside of her, something was threatening to break and Kagome already felt the telltale signs of impending tears. However, she refused to break down in front of her father. She would not have him see her as weak, too. "He's a yōkai! I'm a hanyō! Half-demon! Half of what he is by definition!" she continued screaming while fruitlessly fighting her own emotions as the dam that held back her hurt and tears for ninety-nine percent of her life cracked and threatened to break. Her hands fisted at her sides in a last attempt to get a hold of herself, but that didn't stop her eyes from watering and she mentally cursed herself for not being stronger.

The next thing she felt was not the wetness of her tears staining her cheeks, though, but a pair of strong arms enveloping her in a gentle, warm embrace. Her eyes snapped open, the tears that threatened to overflow a second ago calming instantly as pain was replaced by surprise, and she came face to face with her father's white and blue kimono. When he had taken off his breast plate, she didn't know, but she was glad he had – being pressed against cold metal surely wouldn't be as comfortable as this, after all.

"You're not half of anything, Kagome," her father murmured as he held her tightly, his youki brushing up against hers as he nuzzled his face against the top of her head in what Kagome could only interpret as an apologizing manner. What he could possibly be apologizing for, she had no idea, but currently, she didn't even care enough to find out. She was too absorbed in the hug Shugonin had enveloped her in, the hug through which she could feel not only his warmth, but also his love for her – the love that had been so hard for her to fathom was there

Her arms rose to hug her father back without her consent, but she didn't try to stop it, either. She needed this and just this once, she was not going to keep herself away from comfort she so desperately carved. Just this once, she could allow herself to be a little weak, right?

"Do not lie to me, otou-sama. I know what I am and I'm proud of what I am, even if it means I'm not a 'whole' in anyone's eyes, but merely two halves that should never be put together," she whispered into his chest, her tone sad despite her best efforts to hide it. She wasn't lying, of course, she really was proud of her heritage because it was proof that true love really knew no boundaries. But that didn't mean the fact that others despised her so much merely because of what she was born as didn't sadden her.

"This one does not lie," her father replied, his words a warning growl that betrayed he was not happy with his daughter thinking such. "You are not half-yōkai, Kagome, nor are you half-ningen. It is a misconception the living humans and demons are too comfortable with to ever think of reconsidering, especially since the truth of the matter would be much too terrifying to them to ever accept. The truth being that you, just like any other hanyō, are a yōkai and a ningen, both at once in one body."

"How can that possibly be? You're not making sense, otou-sama. Being half of both, neither fully one nor the other, I could comprehend, but both at once? How would that even work?" Kagome asked with a frown, wondering if she should push away from her father to look him in the eye for answers or just remain where she was. Considering their conversation, the appropriate thing would be to move away from him now, she assumed, but she couldn't for the life of her force herself to actually do it. This was the first time she had met her father and the first time he had held and comforted her. This was the first time she could actually feel that he loved her. And she didn't want this experience to end too soon. She was content right where she was.

Alas, the great feeling was not one she was allowed to feel for long. Sighing almost regretfully, Shugonin withdrew from the first real hug he and his daughter had ever shared and moved back to the railing of the bridge, his claws once again carving something into the smooth surface of the wood. He didn't need to beckon Kagome to join him, the hanyō-girl did so on her own, her curious eyes immediately finding the new shapes that now adorned the bridge beside the Yin Yang even as she attempted to hide her disappointment at the swift end of the short moment of family interaction between her father and her.

To her surprise, her father hadn't actually carved anything new into the wood. In fact, he carved the Yin Yang again, only this time, the two halves were separated by at least two inches. The young half-demon cocked her head to the side as she wondered what her father was trying to make her realize now. It was probably another obvious thing, and yet it eluded her and she was getting more and more frustrated as the seconds passed.

"Tell me again, Kagome, what makes the Yin Yang so special a symbol?" Shugonin finally asked as he brought the silver haired girl's attention to the first symbol he'd carved again. Kagome frowned as she glanced at it and then at her father.

"It's special because it's made of two halves of two different wholes. And yet those two halves make a perfectly harmonic whole that's neither of the two original wholes, even though separately considered, they shouldn't fit together at all," she said slowly, wondering where her father was going with this now. How was this related to her possibly being both human and demon, both as a whole at the same time?

"Ah, but if that were the case, then Yin and Yang would have to be halves of something," Shugonin pointed out as he showed Kagome the two separate halves next. "And what would their respective wholes be, Kagome? What is Yin half of? Or Yang, for that matter? They're both halves of the harmony-symbol Yin Yang, true, but what are their original wholes?"

To that, Kagome knew no answer. She had only ever encountered those two things together as a harmony. It was almost as if they didn't even exist separately, and truth be told, many people believed just that. Yin was nothing without Yang and vice versa. But everyone also thought they were two halves of two opposites that fit together even though at first glance they should not. Yet no one ever wondered what the two original opposites actually were, what wholes Yin and Yang came from.

"The answer, my daughter, is that there are no original wholes," Shugonin finally said after Kagome remained silent for a while. "Yin is a whole and Yang as well. They are not two halves that came together, but two wholes that created a third one."

"Just like… the human and demon in me that make me who I am?" Kagome asked slowly as her mind tried to wrap around the idea. It seemed so impossibly, so unfathomable, that she could hardly believe such a notion at first. But if she thought about it, wouldn't it make sense? For if she was truly only half-human, how could she turn full-human when youki fell dormant? And how could she turn full demon when her youki overpowered her human energy? Both of these instances could be compared to the separation between Yin and Yang, but in both situations, if Yin and Yang were only halves of something, then separated they remained halves. The same should work for her, then. If she was half-human, then she would always be half-human, dormant youki or not, and she would always be only half-yōkai, whether her youki overpowered her human energy or not. The fact that she could become a whole of either in varying circumstances… wasn't it proof that she wasn't half of both but a whole of both? Two wholes that just made a new whole, one that made her look like she was half of both when she wasn't… wasn't that what Yin Yang was, too? If she really thought about it, it was.

"Indeed," Shugonin replied, once again sounding satisfied with himself, or maybe with Kagome. "The only real difference between you and ningen, or you and yōkai, is that both of them are born of parents of the same race. Thus the energy that constitutes their life force mixes. In Sesshōmaru's case, he received mine and his mother's youki which mixed and made his own energy. But you, my daughter, have been born by combining a human and a demon, whose energies cannot mix, thus the demon in you is only as strong as the power you have inherited from me. Because of that Sesshōmaru is truly more powerful than you. But the difference is not nearly as big as you have often thought. Why else, do you think you could defeat him in your battles up until now?"

"Most of the time, I made him believe I wasn't worth killing, I didn't defeat him," Kagome countered, "and the two times I actually did, it was dumb luck."

"Do you really think luck is that powerful?" her father asked, his tone doubtful. "If Sesshōmaru truly is that much more powerful than you, Kagome, he should have crushed you. Especially that one time when he actually took on his true form to fight you. And yet, it was you who defeated him in the end."

"I keep telling you, it was dumb luck," Kagome repeated, her ears lowering. She hated having to disappoint her father, as she didn't want anything other than him being proud of her, but she didn't want him to believe something that wasn't true, either. "Up until then, I haven't ever attempted to fight him, so I guess my strength, though still inferior to his, surprised him. That was all. He had just been met with something he didn't expect and it unsettled him. And the other time we fought, I didn't exactly win. He left right after Tessaiga returned to me."

"That may be true. However, you keep forgetting a very important fact, Kagome. That first time when you actually fought back, Sesshōmaru might have been surprised, but that shouldn't have hindered him in assessing exactly how powerful you are and how much of his own strength he needs to use in order to defeat you. But instead, he lost his composure and even went as far as transforming into his true form – and as I told you, the true measure of a yōkai's strength is not his youki, but the control he has over it. You have managed to make Sesshōmaru lose control then, if only a little. In other words, if only for a little moment, you have weakened him and become stronger than him."

"Didn't feel that way to me," Kagome sighed. "It felt rather like he was testing me."

"Then in that case, it would mean he did not lose control and fought you with all of his strength, all the power he is able to use at the moment. Yet you still won. What more proof do you need to see that Sesshōmaru isn't above you, my daughter? He and you are on much more equal ground than you suspect. As I said, the power you and Sesshōmaru both have at your disposal is equal. Sesshōmaru might be able to control his youki better and thus use more of the power at his disposal than you, but at your core, you're close to being just as powerful as him. You merely need to learn to use and control that power, my daughter," Shugonin replied with a confident smile, as if he were certain Kagome couldn't contradict him anymore. And truly, she could not, because slowly, as impossible as it had sounded at first, she was starting to believe him. "And knowing that, I ask you a third time, Kagome: if your wounds would not be enough to kill Sesshōmaru, should they be enough to kill you?"

Kagome knew the answer her father wanted to hear. She knew and even finally started to believe that it was true, too. So instead of questioning it this time, she merely smiled in acceptance as she leaned on the railing and lowered her head with her eyes closed, her mouth and voice working almost without her consent.

"No," she replied calmly, but firmly. "Wounds that my half-brother can survive are wounds that should not take my life."

"Then why won't you let the power lying dormant within you heal those wounds if you're able?" her father asked rhetorically, or more like dared her to do as he said, actually.

For a moment, Kagome hesitated. What would releasing her youki do now that she was dead? If she were still alive, then her youki would course through her body and heal her, but now that she was dead and separated from her body, what good could it actually do?

Probably none at all. It wouldn't make a difference. But if didn't make a difference, was there anything stopping her from releasing her power, anyway?

No, there wasn't.

It was with those thoughts that Kagome dove deep into herself, deep into her very core where she knew the source of her power lay. She was used to drawing on that source a little at a time as she lived and fought, but she had never released all of it at once. This would be the first time. But she was dead, anyway, so it wasn't like anything could happen.

And in the next moment, her back arched as wind picked up around her before her hair flew straight upwards, her youki seemingly exploding out of her body. But she didn't feel any pain. In fact, she felt freer than she ever had prior to this moment. It was an amazing feeling which she didn't want to end and one she wondered how she could have lived without up until now. For the first time, she felt like she was truly herself. She felt like she was whole.

She felt alive.

XxX

The hut was silent, the two people occupying it unmoving. One because she was dead, the other because he couldn't find the strength nor the will to move.

Inuyasha didn't know long he'd been sitting there already with Kagome in his arms, or how long it's been since he'd deposited her back on the ground in preparation of leaving – which he never did in the end. It could have been minutes or hours. He didn't know, nor did he care to know.

The calm and silence of the almost empty hut were suddenly interrupted, however, when suddenly a monk practically tore the mat in the entrance out of the doorway in his haste. He almost fell to the floor once he entered the hut, too, but caught himself at the last moment. Normally, the sudden entrance would have startled Inuyasha, maybe even made him jump, but in his current condition, the teen doubted there was much that could make him feel much of anything. He felt hollow and numb, as if something had made his insides freeze over. Maybe they did.

"Houshi-sama?" came Sango's surprised voice as she gently pulled the mat aside and glanced into the hut, obviously just as startled at the monk's behavior as Inuyasha should have been, but wasn't. Miroku straightened himself and looked straight to where Inuyasha was sitting and where Kagome lay, letting out a disappointed sigh at what he saw.

"And I was sure I felt a sudden surge of youki in here," the monk mumbled to himself, although not nearly quietly enough.

"A sudden surge of youki?" Sango repeated as she and Kohaku entered the hut, too, the younger of the two taijiya hesitantly approaching Kagome's prone form before stopping at Miroku's side and not daring to come any closer to the fallen half-demon and the obviously suffering priest at her side.

"Kagome-sama's youki?" Kohaku clarified, his voice sounding hopeful even though all of them knew that such hope was pointless. Miroku sighed again and allowed himself a slight nod.

"At least I thought so…"

"I didn't feel anything."

All heads snapped up to glance at Inuyasha. He was the one who had interrupted Miroku just now, his voice quiet and hollow, betraying the way he felt as he admitted it. He really hadn't felt anything since he entered the hut. He couldn't feel her youki, he couldn't feel her heartbeat, he couldn't feel the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, he could feel nothing at all. He could see her, but that was it. As far as all his other senses were concerned, she might as well be gone. And she was.

Just then, the mat in the entrance fluttered again as more people walked in – Kirara was first, followed by Souta and Shippō who both flew to Kagome's side as soon as they realized Kaede must have finished treating her. Only Kirara didn't rush over and instead walked over to Sango before jumping into the slayer's arms and nuzzling her in her own way for asking for comfort. The demonic cat didn't need to see Kagome to know that she was gone and the two children probably didn't, either. For a moment, all was silent again. The silence wasn't even interrupted as Souta started to cry while holding Kagome's hand, though the boy bravely refused to sob. Only Shippō seemed not to understand the situation, or maybe the fox-kit simply refused to understand it.

"Kagome… Hey, Kagome, wake up," the young demon child kept saying as he gently shook the half-demon. And even though his pleas remained unanswered, he didn't give up, as if he were certain Kagome would eventually wake. "Come on, Kagome, this isn't funny. Wake up! Wake up!" he continued calling her, sometimes a whine escaping him. None of the humans could possibly understand what it meant though, and simply assumed it was a sound of grief when it was, in fact, a word. "Mother!" Shippō whined again when Kagome refused to budge, "Wake up!"

"Stop it, Shippō," Inuyasha finally spoke up when no one else made a move to pound the harsh reality into the kit. "She won't wake up anymore."

"You're wrong!" the little fox yelled in response, his bright green eyes finally filling with tears, although they seemed to be born more from anger than sadness. "Kagome will wake up, I know she will!"

"Shippō…" Miroku said slowly, his voice both soothing and pained at once. "I'm afraid Inuyasha's right. Kagome-sama won't…"

"Yes, she will!" the young fox demon interrupted and, as if to prove his point, shook Kagome again. "Come on, Kagome, show them who's right. Wake up!" he called again, but the half-demon remained as unresponsive as before. "Kagome…"

Before the little kit could even attempt to shake her again, a fist came crashing down on his head. Surprisingly, however, it didn't result in a wail but in stunned silence instead, at least for the next second or two.

"Will you open your eyes already, you stupid runt?! Kagome's gone! She's not going to wake up anymore! She's fucking dead!" Inuyasha all but yelled at the child, causing the little kit to stare at him fearfully with tears in his eyes. Still, Shippō refused to accept reality and shook his head in denial.

"You're wrong. Kagome's not gone! She isn't! Inuyasha is just too much of a baka to see it!" the little boy screamed. Inuyasha keh'ed under his breath angrily before storming out of the hut, no longer able to stand staying there.

"Stupid runt," he grumbled under his breath as he left, his words easily reaching Shippō's demonic ears and causing the kit to glare after him while muttering 'idiot' under his breath. No one stopped him as he stormed out of the hut, as if sensing his need to be alone.

[T]

He didn't know where his feet were taking him and he didn't care. He only wanted to get away from the hut and away from Kagome's body. He didn't exactly know why, but saying the truth of her condition aloud had made something in him snap. He might have known for a while already that she was gone, but still, saying that aloud made it much more real than he ever wanted it to be. It was as if admitting it aloud had truly made it real, as if it hadn't before. But it was. It was goddamned reality and no matter how much he wished it were otherwise, the harsh truth remained the same: Kagome was gone.

He would never see her smile again.

He would never hear her laugh again.

He would never argue with her again.

He would never hear her voice again.

He would never fight alongside her again… not that he ever truly had. But now, he wouldn't even have the chance to because she was gone. And she wasn't coming back.

Looking up when he realized there were no more trees around him even though he had wandered into the forest, Inuyasha realized his feet had brought him to the well. For a moment, he considered simply jumping in and pretending none of this had ever happened. But after not even a minute, he shook the thought off, knowing he couldn't do that. Not only would there probably be yōkai coming after him through the well, but he also knew forgetting all of what had happened would be impossible. He had changed too much since that first time he fell down the well to ever forget.

And it was all thanks to Kagome. And he had never told her what she had done for him, or ever thanked her for it. Now, he never would.

The numbness he had felt in Kaede's hut slowly subsided and anger rose within him in its place, causing his fists to clench at his sides before he dropped to the ground in front of the well with his back to it and punched the earth. The impact hurt and, after he repeated the action a few times, he started bleeding, but he hardly noticed it.

It was all his fault. If he hadn't been such a coward, if he had just allowed her to try and lead his power so he'd make a barrier, she'd be alive now. Maybe human, maybe even hurt, but she would be alive. Instead, he had refused to let her try, so she did something else – what it was exactly she'd done, he didn't fully understand, but it didn't matter, either. What mattered was that whatever it was she'd done, it had saved their lives.

But it had cost hers in return.

"Damn it," Inuyasha cursed as he punched the ground again and again, ignoring the pain that shot up his arm with each hit as the skin broke and the bleeding worsened.

Eventually, even the anger left him, leaving him once again empty and hollow. Biting his lower lip as his eyes started to burn again, Inuyasha brought his knees to his chest and hugged his legs, his head automatically lowering to rest on them. He had never felt like this before. Even when his father had died leaving him and his mother alone, he hadn't felt that way. And by 'that way' he meant as though someone had thrown him into darkness and left him there, lost and alone, to find his way back with little care whether he actually managed to do so or not.

And actually, that wasn't far from his actual situation, was it? He may not have been in some dark place and he may know the way to go home, but he was very much lost, anyway. He didn't know how to get by in this world, how to survive here, hell, he barely knew how to defend himself! It would be best if he just went home and never returned. And yet the idea of that wasn't appealing to him at all. He didn't want to leave this time period. He wanted to keep coming here, where he could be himself and where he had a friend for the first time in his life.

Only that friend wasn't here anymore.

Why did she have to die? Why couldn't she live? Why hadn't he done something to save her? There had to have been something he could have done. Why hadn't he?

His rational mind knew, of course, that there hadn't been anything he could have done. Not anything beyond what he had done, anyway. But the rational mind had that annoying knack to never win against emotions and now wasn't any different.

Inuyasha's hands moved from embracing his legs to hugging his chest as he leaned his back against the well and curled into himself, his body trembling as a sudden chill he couldn't explain penetrated his bones. Sure, the sun had long since set by that point, but the night shouldn't be that chilly. Still, he felt cold. Freezing even. And his chest was hurting, although he couldn't explain why – nor did he care, really. He only cared about one thing: Kagome.

Gods, what he wouldn't give to hear her call his name again. If he could rewind time and change what had happened back at that cave, he would. But that was, ironically, impossible. He could travel through time, the well could send him back and forth five hundred years, but he couldn't travel even one more day one way or the other. He was a time traveler who was as bound by time as any other human. How ironic was that?

"Kagome…" the black haired priest whispered to himself, wishing he would wake up now and realize this was all a dream. But he knew it wouldn't happen. This wasn't a dream. This was reality. A reality in which Kagome had died protecting him (well, not only him but others too, not that it mattered), just as he feared she would.

His heart clenched painfully at the realization and he inhaled sharply at the sudden stabbing sensation, his hand immediately reaching for the exact spot on his chest where the pain was originating from. It didn't help, though. It wouldn't help because the pain wasn't due to a physical injury. But it still hurt. It hurt so fucking much…

Briefly, Inuyasha wondered if it was normal to feel that sort of pain over the death of a friend, but the thoughts were easily dismissed as another invisible knife stabbed his chest when the memory of her voice and her soft smile taunted him. What he wouldn't give to see that smile again for real…

'I'd give anything,' he thought brokenly, his mind way too far gone to realize what brought these thoughts on, to realize what his heart had known for a long time already. 'I'd give anything for her to live…'

But there was nothing he could give to anyone, nothing he could do at all to change what had already happened. There was nothing he could do to bring Kagome back because there was simply no bringing her back. She was gone forever.

And accepting it hurt far more than should be normal, had Inuyasha but noticed it.

[/T]

XxX

She couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped her as her youki settled again. It had felt so good to release her power, as if she had up until now unconsciously chained herself down and had only now allowed herself to run free, however briefly. Now, her youki had once again settled down, but Kagome knew she could easily call it forth again. It would respond to her easily and do her exact bidding, she knew. And yet, she also had a feeling that her father's presence had something to do with her youki's obedience. There was no way that power she had never used before was at her every beck and call.

"That felt… rejuvenating," she finally said as she ran a hand through her hair, feeling the soft strands and unable to help thinking they were somehow different than just a second before. Stronger. Healthier. Just like the rest of her. "But it only obeyed me that well because you were here, didn't it, otou-sama?" she asked softly as she looked up at her father expectantly. The great daiyōkai was leaning comfortably against the railing of the bridge, his head held back as he breathed deeply, his entire posture screaming relaxation. It seemed almost like he was simply enjoying the weather, as if allowing the sun to warm his face or giving the wind permission to cool him down, but Kagome knew better. What her father was in fact enjoying was the feel of her youki – or rather its scent. Yōkai couldn't feel each other's energy, after all, but with a good enough nose, they could smell it. Her ability to 'see' the Wound of the Wind was the best proof of that.

"Probably," Shugonin replied lazily as he turned his head to glance at his daughter through half-lidded eyes, looking for all the world like he was about to fall asleep where he stood. But although Kagome had never experienced what her father was probably feeling right now, she wasn't surprised at his reaction. She was his daughter, after all, though a daughter he hadn't had the chance to know for long while alive. Sensing her youki was like cuddling her to him, and that definitely tended to relax and make you content – that's just how it worked, at least for Inu of their caliber.

"You haven't used all of the power at your disposal yet, my daughter. In fact, you have barely realized your full potential. That is why, at first, when you start using that power, it will try to override your mind and do as it pleases – hence why you need to control it and thus become stronger. But right now, your instincts sense someone much stronger and more powerful than you in your vicinity, so they submit to that person, and by extension to your will," he finally continued after a while as the effects of her sudden youki-release slowly started to fade and he blinked, as if waking up from a dream. Kagome watched him from the corner of her eye, a part of her feeling insanely happy that just calling her youki out could make her father this content at sensing it. It was the best proof of just how much he cared about her and loved her, and she just couldn't get enough of those.

[T]

"But that minor detail aside, Kagome, tell me: do you still think you're here because you should be?" he asked her with a sigh, his tone switching from content to wary and almost fatigued in an instant. Kagome turned her back on the river and leaned her back on the railing as well, her arms rising up so she could embrace herself while her head lowered to stare at her feet shamefully. Mirroring her emotions, her ears flattened to her scalp as well, as if trying to pretend they weren't there. Biting her lower lip in anxiety, Kagome allowed her mind to recall once again what happened right before her death, even though she didn't need to in order to answer her father's question. The answer was plain as day, after all. The problem was, she didn't want to voice it, too afraid of disappointing him with her cowardice. Still, in the end, her father's gaze boring into her profile made her crack and she clenched her eyes shut, not wanting to see his disappointed expression as she answered.

"No," she whispered, or more like whined, actually, her voice conveying more than anything else how ashamed she was of that fact. "If… If my wounds weren't truly fatal then… then I shouldn't be here. But… I am, anyway," she forced herself to say, the words struggling to leave her mouth much more than she expected them to – and that was saying a lot. "I'm not sure why. I… don't remember that well. But whatever the reason I… I…"

"Please let it end! Please, I just want it to end!"

Her own words, or maybe they were thoughts, resonated in her mind and Kagome flinched as though she'd been struck, her shame reaching new heights when she found herself unable to utter the words she knew were the truth. She had given up. She could have lived, but she had chosen to die. She had basically willed herself to die. Why? She didn't know, she couldn't recall what brought her to thinking the way she had. But that didn't matter. The fact remained that whatever it had been that had brought her to that point, she had been a coward and rather than fighting it, she had chosen to flee with her tail between her legs like a scared puppy.

"You decided that fighting for your life wasn't worth it," Shugonin finally supplied, his voice plain as he stated the fact. It didn't sound accusatory, reprimanding or even the slightest bit disappointed and for that, Kagome was thankful. Still, as her eyes opened and stared at the wood beneath her feet, she dared not look up at the mighty daiyōkai at her side.

"I gave up," she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was a coward and took the coward's way out."

"And thus, the Sanzu no Kawa brought you here. It granted your wish. But you did not come the usual way people arrive at the river. Nor did you fully cross it. Which means, if you so wish, just as the Sanzu no Kawa brought you here," he father started saying as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, allowing the tense hanyō to relax a tiny bit.

"It can take me right back," Kagome finished for him as she tuned, now once again facing the end of the bridge she had been planning to reach before and where she knew her mother awaited her father. "I could go on and cross to the other world," she said slowly before her head turned to glance at the calm river below, "or I could go right back where I came from."

Her father didn't say anything in response, merely dropped his hand from her shoulder and took a few steps back, a silent assurance that it was her decision and hers alone. Of course, it was obvious the great demon lord, just like his mate, would have preferred it if she returned to the other side and went on living. But as Kagome glanced at him conflicted, she saw in his eyes that he would not condemn her if she decided to stay and cross the bridge. Knowing that made her feel better, mainly because she knew that no matter what she chose, she would not disappoint him. He had his own preferences, sure, but he did not expect anything of her and would accept whatever choice she made. She didn't need to hear him voice it to know it was true, and she knew the same way that it was the same for her mother.

"I could go back," she said slowly again as she turned to face the river. But this time, she did not lean on the railing, but instead hugged herself tighter and shied away from the waters, a part of her actually scared of the prospect. "But go back to what? It's not like there's anything there waiting for me."

She was talking mostly to herself, judging all the pros and cons of either choice – and right now, it looked like there were a lot of things against the decision of going back. However, as if to contradict her, the image on the river changed again, like it had before, her reflection disappearing and being replaced by the image of… quite a crowd. Kaede was among them, as were Shippō, Souta and, though a bit further behind, Miroku. Even further in the back, with her back turned though she was glancing doubtfully over her shoulder was Sango with Kohaku at her side, the boy obviously wanting to get closer, as if he knew Kagome could see him right now. The half-demon sighed, her arms hesitantly falling away from her chest as she released herself from the self-hug and hesitantly reached for the railing.

The closest was a man with black hair, one whom she recognized instantly. 'Kōga-kun,' she thought fondly as she stared at his image, her heart quivering a little with hesitation.

"Fine, so they might wait for me… in a way," she admitted quietly. "But still, it's not like it would truly matter in the long run. They might miss me a little… some of them, anyway… but they don't need me. It won't really matter if I'm gone."

A part of her felt like she was lying to herself, even though she knew she was not. That was just the way things were. These people she saw, they might miss her a bit, but in the end, they didn't really need her, so if she left, it wouldn't really affect their lives. Well, maybe with the exception of Kōga.

Sighing, she shook her head in order to clear it. Dreams were not something she should ponder at the moment. Only facts were. And the facts were simple.

"They don't need me," she repeated forcefully, as if in order to convince herself more than anything else.

With those words, she pushed herself away from the railing resolutely, barely noticing when the image of her face slowly faded from the water. There was nothing left for her in that world, as opposed to here – here, at least, she could stay with her father and mother. It might not be the same as if they'd been in the world of the living, but they could still have a happy after-life together until any of them decided enough was enough and it was time to be reincarnated as someone else. It was definitely much more appealing than the world of pain she knew she would put herself through if she decided to go back.

And yet, she couldn't stop herself from glancing at the river again, and her heart clenched at the image that now appeared there. All of her friends were no longer visible. Out of all the people that have been reflected there a second ago, only one remained. That was Kōga. And he was visibly reaching out and calling out to her, though she could not hear his voice. Her ears lowered.

'Kōga-kun would be devastated if I died now… wouldn't he,' she wondered, her heart feeling heavy in her chest. She knew what he would feel. She knew because the thought of him dying before she could meet him again, or of him dying at all, made her feel the same thing. A shiver ran down her spine. She couldn't leave. She had to go back. If for no one else, if not for herself, then for him.

She loved him. She couldn't leave him. No matter how hard it would be, if it was for him, then she would return and she would stay among the living.

She was about to tell her decision to her awaiting father, but before she could, a shadow ran over the image she was seeing – a shadow that, had she but known it, represented nothing but her own doubt.

She couldn't see who it was, the face remained in darkness. But the form betrayed that whoever it was, it was definitely a female. A dandy hand reached out and touched Kōga's arm, and as if enchanted on the spot, he turned and walked away without looking back, his image disappearing from the surface of the water. Kagome had to bite back a hurt whimper.

Of course, whom was she kidding? Sure, Kōga would be devastated now, he would grieve… but he wasn't like her. He wasn't a half-demon, he was a full one. And he was the leader of a pack of wolves. He would eventually find a new female and forget all about her. There was no two ways about it.

Some small, quivering voice in her head tried whispering to her that she was wrong and that she knew it, but she chose to disregard it. After all, if you truly love someone, you need to let them go. This was one of such moments. Right now, Kōga was still chasing her. But if she died, he'd be free to find someone whom his pack would accept. Someone who, unlike her, would be accepted as the alpha female of his tribe – a position she could never hope to be allowed to rise to.

It would be painful for him. But in the long run, it would be better. Wouldn't it?

She could only hope it would. She had to believe it would.

"I'm staying," she told her silent father, even though he had been there the whole time and heard her spoken-out-loud thoughts. He let out a small breath, a ghost of a sigh, but he didn't seem very disappointed in her. Nor did he seem glad. He just accepted her choice and that was it.

"As you wish," he told her, his voice calm and loving as he held out an arm to her. "Then come with me," he invited and she didn't hesitate to accept his offer, her own hand sliding around his arm as he guided her the rest of the way. After only a few steps, her mother came once again into view at the very edge of the bridge. She was smiling a bit sadly at the sight of her, but just like Shugonin, she didn't seem disappointed at all, merely accepting.

"So you've made your choice, Kagome?" she asked gently, even though all of them knew the answer to that. Kagome nodded, allowing herself to smile slightly.

"Yes, kaa-san," she said softly as she stepped away from her father, allowing her mother to take her rightful place at his side. As was expected from the daughter, she would walk behind them unless instructed otherwise.

"I guess that means it will be the three of us, now," Hikari said, her voice actually sounding happy at the idea of a full family they could 'live' as, as they hadn't been allowed to in real life. "Come, Kagome, walk at my and your father's side," the former hime added just as Shugonin and her stepped off the bridge. Nodding, Kagome sped up to catch up and close the few-steps gap that separated her parents and her. However, just as she was about to take that final step that would take her off the bridge and with which she would officially cross into the world of the dead, a sudden scream cut through the calm of their surroundings.

"Kagome!" someone called and the hanyō-girl froze mid-step, her foot inches above the dirt-ground of the other side of the bridge. And yet something inside of her stopped her from setting that foot down and instead of completing the step she had almost taken, she actually took a step back to remain on the bridge.

"Who was that?" she wondered aloud as she turned around to glance in the direction she had come from, but the bridge behind her was empty. She stared for a while longer, as if hoping the caller would come running in her direction, but nothing of the sort happened. Shrugging to herself, the hanyō-girl turned back to her parents with a perplexed look on her face. 'Was it my imagination?' she wondered briefly as her feet tried to carry her to the shore and off the bridge that connected the two sides of the river. And just as she was about to take that final step of the bridge, the voice called again, freezing her where she stood.

"Kagome!"

"I didn't imagine it," she said to herself quietly as she once again turned around, her brow furrowing. Who was it that called her? She wasn't sure. All she could say was that it was the voice of a male, but beyond that, she was clueless except the simple fact that it was someone who wasn't a stranger – it couldn't be a stranger if he knew her name.

"Kagome?" Hikari's soft voice cut through Kagome's thoughts and made the half-demon spin around so quickly it was a miracle she didn't lose her balance. Immediately, her golden eyes found her mother's grey-blue ones, the woman regarding her with a slightly worried look. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she said slowly, looking over her shoulder again. "I… I think I hear someone calling me…"

"Kagome!" the call came again as if to confirm her words, sounding breathless and even pained this time. Kagome's ears twitched in response to the sound and the half-demon winced despite herself, as if she could feel the caller's agony. 'I know that voice,' she acknowledged in her mind. 'But where have I heard it before? Who is this person?' she wondered, her eyes automatically closing as her mind worked to conjure the image of the caller from memory.

The picture was fuzzy, at first, but progressively became sharper. She recalled long black hair, violet eyes, a confident smirk… and a jewel that hung around his neck. Her frown deepened. 'A priest… he's a priest,' she recalled, but the memory only confused her further. Why would a priest be calling her?

"Kagome!" the call came again, causing her to wince again in response to how much agony and despair she could hear in just that one word. In the next second, she gasped as the memories rushed into her head.

"Inuyasha…" she whispered as his face came into complete focus in her mind and she immediately realized what was wrong with the image.

That smirk of his… annoying as it was, she wasn't happy to recall that it had been a goddamned long time since she had last seen it. Lately, Inuyasha had been more subdued and calm, more often than not clearly bothered by something… and the last time she truly saw him, his face had been a mixture of guilt and fear – guilt because of what he had already done and fear because of what he feared he could still do.

That aside, he was from the future. He wasn't from her time and hardly knew how to survive in it. That was why she had promised to protect him and she couldn't very well do that if she decided to leave, now could she? And if there was one thing Kagome never did, it was breaking her word. Now wouldn't be any different.

'I can't just leave,' she acknowledged, cursing herself for even having entertained such selfish thoughts. 'Like hell I can leave him behind.'

"Kagome?" this time, it was her father who called her and Kagome froze again mid-step. She had been preparing to leap off, but her father's voice stopped her. Feeling just a tiny bit guilty, Kagome looked over her shoulder at her father and mother and sent them an apologetic glance.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I have to go back, after all."

"We know," Hikari said with a gentle, content smile on her face that mirrored that of her mate. "Take care of yourself, Kagome, and know we're proud of you," she said as a way of saying goodbye.

"And know we'll be waiting here," her father added, making Kagome chuckle.

"Don't hold your breath," she replied, still laughing. "I don't think I'll be seeing this scenery too soon again."

"All the better," Shugonin replied with a light growl. "Now, off you go, my daughter. Go where you're needed."

Kagome didn't need anymore encouragement as she leapt off. In a flash, she was back in the middle of the bridge, where she leapt onto the railing. She didn't need to fully cross the bridge to the other side. After all, she didn't come like the other dead people came here. She had been carried by the Sanzu's current, and just like it had brought her here, it could take her away again.

With that in mind, the half-demon took a deep breath and jumped into the calm, but frigid waters below, intent on getting to where the owner of the voice she'd heard calling her was. Not even a second later, she was engulfed by darkness.

[/T]

XxX

"Would you stop assuming things! I'm telling you she's going to wake up! Why won't you believe me?"

"Shippō, it's been a whole night. Look, it's dawn already. If she were going to wake up, she already would have. You have to face reality."

"I am facing it!"

"No, you're not…"

"Do you want her to die that much?!"

"Of course I don't, Shippō."

"Well, you sure don't sound like it, Miroku."

"That because I know that even if I wish she were alive, all the evidence points to the fact that she's gone."

"What evidence? Because the evidence I have points to the conclusion that she's alive! Only none of you believe me!"

An exasperated sigh followed Shippō's outburst before Miroku spoke up again.

"How can she be alive if she's not even breathing, Shippō?"

"I don't know. But tell me how she can be dead if I can still hear her heartbeat. Maybe it's weak and kinda slow… OK, extremely slow, but it's there. It wouldn't be if she were gone!"

It was astounding that it actually took hearing the words 'she's not breathing' for Kagome to notice the burning in her lungs as they begged for air they have obviously been deprived of for much too long. Not sparing a thought to figure out what possessed her to try and suffocate herself, Kagome greedily breathed in, although it turned into more of a cough than anything else.

It took her a moment to slow her breathing down to normal as the pain in her lungs subsided and it took her an even longer while to realize that the darkness surrounding her was only due to her eyes being closed. As soon as she did, though, she slowly opened them, although she immediately realized her vision wasn't perfect, as if one of her eyes was defect. Frowning, the hanyō-girl slowly raised a hand to her head to feel her face, her clawed fingertips quickly finding the eye-patch she had made of her own haori.

'Oh, right,' she thought with an inward sigh before her hand traveled to her forehead as she slowly sat up, her good eye automatically closing again. 'God, I feel awful… like I drowned or something… What the hell happened?' she wondered, the memories returning to her in an instant. She remembered the yōkai that took on her mother's form, the fight, the ensuing cave-in and her own desperate attempt to save as many people as possible, consequences be damned. Her eye snapped open again as the images flashed through her head. 'Oh yeah, I remember now…'

Her ears twitched then, almost out of their own will, but not in response to something she heard, but rather what she didn't hear. Her surroundings were eerily silent from the moment she had first started coughing and it had now gotten to a point where her ears were ringing from the silence, impossible as it seemed. But the calm didn't last much longer – in the very moment Kagome realized the silence, a furry ball slammed right into her with a loud yell.

"KAGOMEEEE!" Shippō wailed as he hid his head in her stomach, his little, clawed hands clinging on to her as if she were going to disappear if he let go. Surprised by the sudden tackle, the half-demon had to move one of her hands slightly behind her in order not to fall over, the hand she's been holding her head with automatically lowering to rest on the kit's back.

"Shippō-chan," she murmured softly, her ears lowering in response to the child's cries. It wasn't hard to figure out why he was crying so much, after all. Deciding it was best not to say anything, Kagome merely cuddled the child closer, sighed and turned her head to glance at the other occupant of the room. Her eye rested on the immobile form of Miroku, the monk being so shocked he couldn't even utter a single sound, much less move.

"From your reaction, Miroku-sama, I suspect you didn't expect me to wake," she said quietly, her eyes falling to the floor. "Though I can't say I blame you," she added, recalling the pain she had felt from simply breathing the last time she'd been awake. Her words seemed to shake the houshi out of his stupor somewhat and he blinked, still staring at her in wonder and bewilderment.

"Kagome-sama…" he uttered slowly, but wasn't allowed to say more as the mat at the entrance fluttered, announcing someone coming in.

"What's all the ruckus… about…?" Sango asked, her voice causing Kagome's head to snap up just in time to see the taijiya's eyes widen in disbelief as she too stared at the half-demon. For a moment, Sango continued to open and close her mouth like a fish out of water in an attempt to speak, obviously too stunned to actually make her vocal chords work. And when she finally did, her words were breathless and betrayed every ounce of her disbelief. "You're… alive," she whispered in awe, her eyes never leaving Kagome's. The half-demon nodded slowly, unsure what to make of the slayer's reaction.

"Looks like it," she finally offered, her good eye wandering from one person to the next a few times as she took them all in and gauged the responses to her waking. She could tell they were all surprised, mesmerized even, but while her wounds had been severe, she didn't think it should be that surprising that she eventually recovered enough to wake after a few days. She was definitely missing something, and if she had any say in it, it wouldn't last for long.

As fate would have it, though, her quest for answers was postponed in favor of another teary 'reunion' as the mat was roughly pushed aside again, Sango's words from before causing more people to pile into the hut – first came the only being that could have possibly heard the soft-spoken words, namely Kirara, and the demonic cat didn't waste any time before she leapt onto Kagome's shoulder and started licking her face with a vengeance, the action as much gleeful and welcoming as it was reprimanding.

"You have no goddamned idea how scared I was! Idiot! If you pull a stunt like that again, I sure as hell won't forgive you!" the cat hissed into her ear every few licks and Kagome sighed, a soft whine of apology escaping her throat. Kirara hissed again at the pathetic 'I'm sorry' the hanyō had just muttered. "You better be!"

"Nee-chan!" Souta called in the next second, as he was the first to enter the hut after Kirara, no doubt following the cat out of curiosity. Kagome grunted as another child threw himself at her, but managed to still stay balanced somehow. Gods, what was with everyone? They acted as if she had died and then returned from the dead or something.

"Kagome-sama?" the voice of another boy reached her ears and Kagome looked up to see the last addition to the hut's occupants, and the only boy who didn't throw himself at her on sight – Kohaku. He seemed half-paralyzed with disbelief as he started at her with wide eyes that were slowly filling with tears, causing Kagome to wince before she could stop herself. She hated it when people cried around her, especially young children – and to her, Kohaku was but a pup.

"Sango-san? What is the fuss all about in there? Sango-san?" that voice was one she didn't recognize. Even weirder was the fact that Sango seemed to freeze upon hearing it for all of a second before the taijiya quickly stormed out of the hut and almost tore the tatami mat in the entrance down while attempting to forcefully pull it closed – almost as if she wanted to hide the people inside. Kagome's ears twitched when Sango's response to whoever the other person was drifted in from outside.

"Oh, nothing, Tomiko-sama. It's just our friend… she woke up sooner than expected and the boys are elated to see her well. It's nothing you need to worry about," the slayer said, and Kagome couldn't help but notice her voice seemed a little tense.

"Are you sure? I'm almost certain I can feel a rather strong demonic presence in there," the other woman, Tomiko, replied, her words causing Kagome's eye to go wide. 'She can sense my youki? No way. Don't tell me she's a miko,' she thought, despite the obvious fact that Tomiko had to be one. Kagome fought the urge to groan. She so did not need that kind of problem right now…

"You must be mistaken, Tomiko-sama. I assure you there's no demon in there," Sango immediately replied, her words making Kagome raise a brow. The questions just kept piling up. Just why in the seven hells was Sango, of all people, hiding her?

Still, the half-demon's attention didn't ultimately remain on the slayer and miko talking outside when Miroku cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Shippō, Souta… You two might want to move away from Kagome-sama," he all but commanded, although his voice was calm. Immediately, the two boys jumped away from the hanyō as though they were burned. Kagome blinked, feeling only more surprised when the two of them started to apologize furiously, as if they had committed some unforgivable sin. Before she could ask why they acted that way, however, Kohaku made it more than obvious by asking a single question, his voice timid.

"Kagome-sama… are you… alright?"

Ah, so that's what it was all about. They were worried about hurting her, worsening her wounds. Kagome couldn't help but snort at that. Really, they knew she was half-demon, they should know she wasn't as affected by pain as they were. If she was good enough to be awake, then she was good enough to move around, and if she could move around, then she certainly could handle a hug or two – even if she wasn't exactly used to having to deal with any.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine," she said dismissively as she stretched her arms above her head. To her surprise, her wounds didn't complain at the action at all, and it was that realization that made her freeze in surprise at just how true her words were. Of course, she wouldn't have said she was fine if she wasn't, but being fine didn't equal being wholly unharmed. Her eye snapped open in surprise and she slowly lowered her arms back down before one of them rested on her abdomen and she lowered her head to glance down at herself in confusion. "Wait. I'm… fine?" she repeated quietly, this time as a question, hardly believing just what meaning the words had this time.

When she had sat up, the fire rat robe that had been her blanket had fallen off, leaving her chest bare and for everyone to see. But that didn't really matter considering the amount of bandages she was wrapped in, which worked just as well as a sleeveless shirt. The only thing Miroku and the other boys in the hut could see that they usually wouldn't was the size of her breasts and how slim her waist was, her curves being normally hidden by her kosode and haori. Kagome frowned as she glared at the wrappings that were currently saving her dignity. They were a perfect white and she didn't need to tear them off to know there were no wounds underneath.

"How long was I out?" she wondered aloud, her eyes never leaving her abdomen. It must have been quite a long time if her wounds were fully healed already. No wonder the others acted the way they did when she finally woke up.

"Since the end of the fight, Kagome-sama," Miroku said slowly. "So half-a-day and the whole night."

Kagome's head turned towards the houshi so rapidly that her hair flew around her in a wide arc, her eye wide with astonishment she didn't even bother hiding.

"Are you telling me that fight was just yesterday?" she wanted to confirm, hardly believing it when both Miroku and Kohaku nodded. Barely able to comprehend it, Kagome raised a hand to her forehead again as she tried to let the information sink it, and, more importantly, tried to understand how it was possible that she was healed already.

"Kagome?" Shippō said as he carefully inched closer to her, his green eyes wide with worry and fear, the emotions filling him to the point that tears were threatening to spill. Following his lead, Souta slowly approached, too, the look he was giving Kagome just as scared and worried as the fox's. Forcing a reassuring smile on her face and hiding her own anxiety, Kagome gently ruffled the hair of one boy and then the other, trying to quench that fear.

"Don't worry you two. I told you, I'm fine," she said with a slight laugh that managed to hide perfectly her own surprise at that fact. Yes, she was fine.

"But all things considered, you shouldn't be," Kirara suddenly mewled at her side, reading Kagome's thought perfectly. And indeed, that was what Kagome thought, even knew to be the truth. She was fine, but she shouldn't be. Not with the wounds she had basically inflicted on herself. She knew her healing rate was better than a humans, but she also knew its limits, and she knew her wounds were more than severe enough to take several days to heal, if not even weeks. The fact that they were healed already was more than just astonishing, even for herself.

And her unexplained healing wasn't the only thing Kagome found odd. There was also the weird feeling of lightness she couldn't shake ever since she started breathing properly and her mind fully woke. It felt as though some great burden had been taken off her shoulders and for the life of her, Kagome couldn't figure out where that feeling came from.

She didn't really dwell on it long, though, her mind being quickly occupied by something else she realized only now.

"Where's Inuyasha?" she asked suddenly as she tentatively scented the air. His scent was still lingering in the hut, and while its presence revealed he had been here not long ago, it also told her he no longer was. In fact, he was quite sure he wasn't even in the village anymore.

"He probably went home, the idiot," Shippō muttered under his breath, only huffing when Kagome said his name in a reprimanding manner. "It's true, he is and idiot," she little fox defended. "And he's not even the only one. Everyone here is an idiot! I kept telling them Kagome wasn't dead, but they wouldn't listen," he grumbled in response to Kagome's reprimanding look, which vanished the second the kit finished talking. Immediately, the hanyō turned to the monk and taijiya sitting on her other side.

"You though I was dead?" she asked slowly, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Kohaku winced and Miroku sighed in response.

"We… We did," Souta answered in a quivering voice, his fists clenching at his sides and his eyes clenching shut as he obviously fought tears. "We… We all did. Me too. And I… I was so scared," the little boy admitted, his voice so quiet Kagome had to strain her ears to understand what he was saying. But she did understand and her heart reached out for him immediately, just as her arms did as she drew her cousin into a tight hug. That seemed all the invitation Souta needed to start crying openly, as his arms immediately reached out to embrace Kagome back.

"Shhh, it's alright now. I'm fine, aren't I?" she tried to comfort the boy with her words and actions, her arms moving slowly in comforting circles on his back. But her attention was also focused on the silent monk and taijiya boy, whom she sent a questioning look in a silent request to elaborate, which they seemed to understand.

"You weren't breathing, Kagome-sama. And we couldn't find a pulse. What were we supposed to think?" Miroku asked calmly, though his eyes were closed and his expression was more than proof enough that he did not enjoy thinking back on those moments.

"Even Kaede-sama had been certain you were gone, Kagome-sama," Kohaku added slowly, just as Kirara said the same in the cat-language no one but Kagome and Shippō understood. Kagome blinked, her hands stilling and stopping the comforting movement of Souta's back in her surprise, but luckily, the boy was calming down already, anyway.

"Even Kaede…?" she repeated, hardly believing it. Kaede was a healer, a miko, after all. She would never proclaim someone dead if they weren't. If even she thought Kagome was dead, then it was very unlikely she wasn't. But that would mean she had basically come back from the dead.

No wonder the others were as stunned as they were when she woke.

"Still… I think Inuyasha-sama was the one who took it the worst of us all," Kohaku muttered under his breath. Kagome slowly released Souta, who had by then calmed down, and glanced questioningly at Kohaku as Shippō glued himself to her side in Souta's place, a faint scent of jealousy coming off of him. Catching her gaze, Kohaku looked away and rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably before continuing. "Well, that's the impression I got, anyway. I mean, he was the first one to run in after Kaede-sama told us of Kagome-sama's condition, and we didn't go in at first at Miroku-sama's advice. We wanted to give him some time alone with Kagome-sama, we all sensed he needed it. But he didn't come out for a long time so we finally came in, too…" Kohaku trailed off, as if uncertain how to continue, so Miroku took it upon himself to finish.

"I don't think I ever saw him look like that," the monk confessed. "He looked so… I don't even know how to phrase it," he added with a sigh.

"He looked dead," Kirara mewled softly, causing Kagome's head to turn in her direction, her good eye almost betraying the fear that suddenly rose up in her gut. But Kirara seemed to sense it anyway. "I mean, his body was visibly alive but… he seemed dead otherwise. As if a part of him had died or something. You know… it kind of reminded me of the look a demon may have when he loses a pack member – one of the most important ones," the cat explained, her words causing the shadow of a strangled, desperate call to resonate in Kagome's mind. She didn't know if it was her imagination or a memory, but she was certain it was Inuyasha that had called her. And she also knew she never wanted to hear his voice sounding that way again – she didn't want to hear him calling out with such despair ever again. Kagome grit her teeth as she gently pried Shippō off herself and stood up.

"I'm gonna go look for him," she announced in a tone that seemed to dare anyone to try and stop her, which no one did as her eyes located her kosode – or what was left of it, anyway, as the piece of bloodied material was far too cut up to be really considered a piece of clothing anymore. Still, while the fire rat's fur was kind of soft, it didn't feel all that great on naked skin, and Kagome didn't have anything else she could possibly wear, so the torn remains of her kosode would have to do.

"I don't think you'll find him, Kagome-sama," Miroku said when Kagome put on her haori and walked towards the door, only stopping to hear the monk out. "He left quite some time ago and didn't return the whole night. I think it's safe to assume he went home."

"In that case, I'll wait by the well and hope he comes back," Kagome replied while slowly reaching for the mat in the doorway so she could push it aside. At the same time, her ears twitched in an attempt to catch any and all sounds from the outside to make sure it was safe to leave. "And in case he didn't go home, I'll find him," she continued, pushing the mat aside only when she was absolutely certain that Sango and the miko weren't anywhere nearby. "Oh, and Miroku-sama," she added almost as an after-thought as she glanced at the monk in question over her shoulder, "when I come back, I'd like to hear where that miko came from."

And with that, she leapt out of the hut and towards the forest, heading for the well first. She hoped Inuyasha hadn't gone home, because she couldn't follow him there to let him know she was fine. But only a few seconds later, she wasn't sure if it would be a good thing if he had stayed. Mainly because if he had, it meant he had probably been outside the whole night and the forest bore clear signs of heavy rain.

It didn't take her long to reach the well, and with it, the priest she was searching for. He was sitting right beside the wooden structure, knees drawn up to his chest and his head buried in them. In one leap, Kagome found herself beside him, her keen eye easily catching the worrying whiteness of his hands and the way his clothes clung to his form.

'He's drenched,' she thought. Slowly, she crouched down beside him and bit her lower lip worriedly, wondering how to go about making him realize she was there – and, more importantly, how to get him to go back to Kaede's so he could warm up, as it was more than obvious that he was extremely cold. If the paleness of his body wasn't enough to convince her of that (at least, of the body parts she could currently see), then the shivers that shook his body, the labored breathing and the unusually fast heartbeat certainly did.

"Inuyasha?" she asked tentatively as she reached out to touch his arm. He didn't respond to her at first, which only worried her all the more. Falling to her knees, the young half-demon roughly grabbed the priest's shoulders in order to make him look at her if need be. "Inuyasha," she tried again, more forcefully this time.

In response, the kannushi slowly raised his head, blinking a few times in order to focus his blurry vision. Kagome bit back a worried whine at the sight of him, knowing that now was not the right time to show the extent of her worry. Still, now that she got a good look at the priest, she was far from glad that he hadn't gone home. If he had, he would have had a roof over his head, at least, even if he had ultimately remained in the well. But on her side of it, he had no such luxury and had thus been exposed to the elements the whole night. The result of that was ghostly pale skin, extreme shivering and his lips were even blue. There was no doubt about it: Inuyasha was afflicted with hypothermia, though luckily of the mild and not severe sort.

"K-Kagome?" he croaked through chattering teeth and Kagome barely managed to stop herself from wincing at the sound. Instead, she forced herself to smile at him as if nothing were wrong and nodded. The smile was quick to disappear, however, when Inuyasha suddenly fell forward.

"Inuyasha!" the hanyō called worriedly as she moved to catch him. It turned out, however, that the priest didn't exactly fall, but merely sluggishly moved to embrace her. The sudden contact with him as the teen wrapped his arms around her caused Kagome to go rigid for a second before her arms automatically rose to encompass him in a hug as well, though more in order to share her warmth with him than for the sake of the hug itself.

'Kami… He's freezing,' she realized, her worry rising even more as her grip on him tightened unconsciously as she tried to get him as close to her as possible in an attempt to warm him the best she could. But it was apparent that wouldn't be enough. She needed to get him some place warm. Now. Before it got any worse. Thank kami she had thought of looking for him when she had.

"Come on, let's get you back to Kaede's," she whispered into his ear and slowly started to rise, taking him up with her. His reaction to that, however, was pulling her closer to himself all while pushing her back to her knees, and it had surprised the half-demon enough to actually let him do it. "Inuyasha?" she asked confused when her knees hit the ground again and the kannushi tightened his grip on her, as if afraid she would evaporate if he loosened his hold even a little bit.

"Don't leave," he whispered, making her eye go wide with just that one, short plea. "Please, don't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him, her voice calm even as she frowned. What would give him the idea that she was leaving? "Not without you, anyway. Now come on, we need to get to you Kaede's. You need to warm up." With that, Kagome started to rise again and this time, when Inuyasha tried to pull her back down, she didn't let him and stood effortlessly. "Stop it. Why are you fighting me? I'm trying to help," she almost snapped, her harsh tone making Inuyasha wince.

"I thought you were dead," he uttered softly into her shoulder and effectively destroyed every ounce of the irritation that started to build within her. Her eye softened as her ears lowered, disappearing almost completely in her hair.

"I know," she whispered back as she closed her eyes and nuzzled his face apologetically without really realizing it. If Inuyasha was in any way bothered by the rather doggish action, however, he didn't show it. "I'm sorry."

"But… You aren't… right?"

"Well… I'm here, aren't I?" she asked back with a worried frown that Inuyasha couldn't possibly see. Once again, the hanyō's worry spiked. The priest in her arms seemed to be aware of his surroundings at first, but he wasn't making any sense and the longer Kagome talked with him, the more she realized he wasn't actually lucid.

"Don't leave me again. Please, just don't leave," the future-born teen begged pathetically.

"I won't. I'm not going anywhere," Kagome whispered back as she tried to figure out what to do now. She needed to get Inuyasha to Kaede's so he could warm up, that much was obvious. The question was how to go about it. After a minute of thought, Kagome realized that sadly, there wasn't much she could do, and nothing that wasn't at least a little bit forceful. Sighing the half-demon put her hands on Inuyasha's shoulders and slowly started to withdraw from him. The reaction was a desperate attempt to pull her back to him, just as she expected, but Inuyasha was nowhere near strong enough to overpower her hanyō-strength and so despite his attempts to keep her glued to him, Inuyasha soon found himself an arm's length away from the half-demon. As if sensing the loss of whatever warmth Kagome had been able to provide him with when they hugged, the kannushi's body started to shiver violently again, though the priest didn't seem to even realize it, or register the cold that his body must have been feeling.

"Please… don't leave," he whimpered pathetically as he tried to reach for her, but Kagome easily evaded him as she took off her haori.

"I'm not," she replied when she wrapped the jacket around him, hoping it would keep him at least somewhat warmer. When he reached out to hug her again, she quickly turned around and bent her knees, effectively making the kannushi stumble and fall against her back. His arms reflexively reached around her shoulders and her hands gripped his legs to secure him against her. And in the next moment, she was running.

Of course, she could have just grabbed him and carry him bridal style from the start, but Kagome was an empathetic person. She wanted to spare him the additional embarrassment she knew he felt every time he let her carry him in case Inuyasha remembered his actions and words when he was actually truly aware of his surroundings again.

She reached Kaede's hut in no time at all, the old priestess standing in front of the entrance as if expecting her with a disbelieving look in her eye.

"Kagome…"

"Kaede-chan, do you have any left-over wood from the night?" Kagome asked without premises, though she did give Kaede an apologetic look for her behavior. The old priestess didn't seem too surprised, however, at least not when she took note of the shivering priest Kagome was carrying. "He needs to warm up," Kagome said, even though it was not needed. The old miko merely nodded.

"Carry him inside, Kagome. There should still be something left to start a fire. Although I fear it might not be enough to last for long."

"That's alright. I'll just go get some more," Kagome replied easily as she carried Inuyasha into the by then empty hut. She deposited Inuyasha right by the fire place and reawakened the ambers that were still glowing slightly from having burned the previous night. As it turned out, however, she was forced to send Miroku and Kohaku to gather more wood, as Inuyasha refused to let her go anywhere, and while she could easily get out of his grip or evade him whenever he reached for her, the fear in his eyes whenever he thought she was leaving kept her rooted in place.

Lucky for her, Kaede had managed to make everyone keep the hut empty save Inuyasha and herself, under the pretext that if Inuyasha had gotten sick because of his nightly escapade, then they could easily catch the sickness, too, while Kagome was immune to it. It was, of course, a complete lie – Kaede had dealt with hypothermia victims before and knew well that just because you were exposed to extreme colds, you didn't necessarily get sick. Plus, Kagome couldn't scent any sickness on Inuyasha, so it was safe to assume that once he was warmed up and lucid, he'd be right back to normal.

No, the reason the elder miko had ushered everyone out was for Kagome's comfort and nothing else, for Inuyasha had easily proven that just having Kagome near him wasn't enough. The half-demon didn't mind cuddling with him, especially since she could share her warmth with him that way and thus help him get warm all the faster, true. But still, even though she saw it simply as a way to help Inuyasha and nothing else, Kagome felt better when she knew no one was watching, and she knew Kaede was well aware of that fact, so the miko's emptying of the hut was well appreciated.

Kagome sighed and absentmindedly ran her claws through Inuyasha's hair. The shivering had subsided already and his body was slowly regaining its color, but his skin was still much to cool to the touch and she knew he wasn't completely fine yet. Currently, he was sleeping, his head resting against her shoulder and his nose almost touching her neck. Looking at him from the very corner of her eye, Kagome couldn't help but smile slightly. He looked so boyishly cute and, most of all, peaceful when he slept. Her smile quickly turned into a frown, though, when Inuyasha's pleas echoed in her mind again. The kannushi might not have been lucid, but she doubted he didn't say anything he actually didn't mean.

'He looked so scared,' she thought sadly and also a bit worriedly. 'But why? Why would he be scared at the idea of me leaving?'

She knew that was the core of it. Death in itself was not the main problem. After all, Inuyasha hadn't asked her not to die again. He had asked her not to leave. The idea of her dying might be one that scared him, which she could understand, but surprisingly, so did the idea of her just leaving for whatever reason and no matter how much she tried, Kagome couldn't figure out why that would be. And that, in turn, irritated her. She would have to try and ask Inuyasha about it when he woke. She wanted to know.

And yet, she didn't fail to notice, some tiny part of her was afraid to know. She didn't know why that was, either, but she figured she'd know when she found out the truth behind Inuyasha's words.

Afraid or not, she would ask him and she would find out. As soon as he woke.

---

Well, there you have it. As you can see, Kagome didn't die, after all. So don't go biting my head off for making it look like she had for a while. Trust me, she needed that.

Still, FF can be annoying sometimes. I spent at least twenty minutes to find the symbol of Yin Yang among all the symbols Microsoft Word has to offer to put it into the story, and FF mercilessly removes it :/ Oh well. With any luck, it'll still be there in the AO3-chapter.

On another note, the things about half-demons presented as facts in this chapter are my own ideas and thoughts on the species. You might or might not agree with those theories, and I'm not trying to force you into agreeing with me. If you think for some reason that my theory is impossible, improbable or whatever, I'll gladly listen to you and your reasons for thinking that way. Maybe I could even have a debate with you on that topic if you wanted. On another note, if there's something about the theory you don't understand (because god knows I such at explaining), feel free to ask – I'll be able to give a better explanation in a PM than in the fic itself, anyway, since I couldn't very well start talking about genes, genetic inheritance and all of that DNA-stuff in there.

However, if your only comment on the matter is that the theory presented here is completely idiotic, that you don't agree with it and I shouldn't have put it there – basically, if you merely plan on flaming it because you don't share my point of view – please do not bother.

With that said, I'll have to leave you for another month. Hope this isn't too much of a cliff-hanger for you guys. It isn't in my eyes, so… :)

Next Chapter: After-Effects

See you then.