"Welcome home, darling" Evelyn said as the four of them walked into the house and Jade sighed, she'd never imagined she would be back one day.
"We didn't know Anna would find you today, so we didn't cook anything…but we can order pizza, it's still open…I think" Mr. West added.
"It's fine, I could eat anything really" Jade said and went to the kitchen, so they all went with her and she grabbed a banana.
"That's not enough, no way, I'm gonna cook something" Evelyn said "How about pasta and shrimp? You love that" She commented and Jade gave her a little smile.
"Thanks m-" Jade started, but she still felt awkward so she stopped.
"Mom" Evelyn said and smiled "Call me mom, because I'm your mom"
"Can I call you sis or is that too much?" Diana asked Jade and she stared at her a little disconcertedly, that girl was so nice and she didn't understand why, she'd been the biggest victim of her lies.
"Sure" Jade said emotionlessly and Diana chuckled.
"You hate it, that's alright…I'll just call you Jade" Diana commented "You don't have to say yes to everything we ask, you know?" She added.
"Why are you so nice to me? You don't even know me" Jade said sincerely "I mean, I get mom and dad like me, but-" she started but her mother cut her off.
"We don't just like you, we love you…get it through your head" Evelyn said and Jade sighed, that would be a challenge for her and she knew it.
"Alright, I get that you guys love me because I lived with you for years, but you?" Jade said to Diana and she thought about it "I mean, I pretended to be you, why don't you hate me? I would hate me if I were you"
"I mean…I was pissed at first, I'm not gonna lie about that" Diana admitted "You were so rude the first time we met, but I mean, it makes sense…you were about to lose everything" she commented.
"I literally physically assaulted you trying to make you go away" Jade said confused "I'd understand if you didn't like me, but this is just…weird"
"Like I said, I was really angry and totally at creeped out at first, especially after seeing your room…man, that place is creepy as hell" Diana admitted and Jade couldn't help to chuckle a little, the girl was being totally honest and she liked that "You can keep it by the way, I couldn't sleep there without feeling I was in some sort of satanic cult shit"
"Language" Mr. West said and Diana rolled her eyes.
"Whatever, the point is I wanted you in prison SO badly, I fantasized about visiting you and I had this whole speech in my head, because I honestly kind of thought you were a psychopath and your room didn't help" Diana commented sincerely and laughed right afterwards, so Jade laughed too.
"You're not the first to think that" Jade said and they kept laughing, so their parents looked at each other gladly, they liked to see them bonding.
"Anyway, when the trial finally started and you were up there…talking, I just, I don't know, I guess I felt really lucky because when I was missing, I was with a lovely family and I couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors you described" Diana said sincerely "I even felt bad for hating you at first" she added and smiled at Jade, but she stared back emotionlessly.
"So…it was the trial that convinced you" Jade said, she felt they just had taken her back out of pity.
"I mean, that made me realize you weren't actually crazy, which was good" Diana responded "But then, just seeing my parents so heartbroken and missing you, it wasn't cool and then they told me they'd talked about it and that they wanted you back and they were both so happy about their decision, I mean just look at them" she added as she pointed to their parents, so Evelyn laughed and Jade smiled.
"Why don't you go get the cheese, darling?" Mr. West asked and Diana smiled.
"Sure" She said and walked to the fridge to get it "Anyway, the point is…I was totally on board with it, I had brothers with my other family but I didn't have a sister, so I thought to myself, maybe this goth chick will be a cool sister, I mean…at least I know you'll scare my enemies away" She added in a mocking tone and Jade rolled her eyes as she chuckled, she hadn't expected to actually like that girl, but she was funny and she was honest.
"Diana! Don't say that" Evelyn said
"It's a compliment, mom and it's true" Diana responded "Just look at her, she looks so tall and intimidating and all the black clothes and the scissors, I mean…Seriously? Horror movie vibes anyone?" Diana commented and Jade laughed, so their parents smiled, they loved to see Jade genuinely smile after all her ordeal.
"You don't have enemies" Her father commented.
"BUT if I ever get them, we know they won't be messing with me after they meet my sister" Diana commented and her parents laughed.
"Dinner's almost ready" Evelyn said and turned back to the stove while Mr. West set the table.
"You know what else is cool? We already have dope matching tattoos, now we just need to come up with a rad story about how we got them behind our parents' backs and how we were grounded for like a year afterwards, I'm telling ya, we'll be the coolest sisters" Diana said excitedly and she was contagious, so Jade smiled and nodded, she wanted that, she wanted it so bad.
Jade went back to school after several missed days and she still felt a little odd, but it was good to have her life back, she liked to go to class and see her friends, she liked to have a family and they were treating her as they used to, they were loving and sweet to her, having Diana changed the dynamic a little but it was a good change, both girls got along and Jade liked her more than she liked most people.
The West house was big, so they let Jade keep her room and created a new one for Diana tailored for her, she was very different from Jade, so her old room wasn't really in shape to be hers anyway. She wasn't artistic either, so they signed her up in a normal high school and Jade kept going to Hollywood Arts.
"So, how are you feeling?" Tori asked nicely during lunch and Jade drank some coffee.
"Still a little weird, honestly, but it's better than being on the street" Jade admitted "My parents are acting like nothing happened and Diana is actually cool, I didn't expect this, but I really like her"
"And that's saying a lot" Andre said and they all laughed.
"That's good, you have your family back" Beck added and she tried to smile, but she couldn't really feel at peace.
"Yes, but it just feels odd…Diana is here and she is their child, I'm just kind of there" Jade commented "But they don't treat me differently, it's all me…I hate it" she added annoyed.
"Maybe it'll take you some time to get used to the new dynamic, but you'll get there" Andre said and she sighed, she didn't want to keep talking about it, she imagined it would go away if she just pretended to be okay.
"Yeah, I guess so" Jade said "Anyway, we need to practice the play, it's next week and I missed like 15 rehearsals, I'm surprised Sikowitz didn't kick me out"
"We might have told him we were practicing in our own time" Beck said and they all laughed.
"Really? He didn't care?" Jade asked "What did you tell him?" She questioned.
"Don't worry, no one knows" Tori affirmed nicely and Jade looked at Beck to confirm it.
"It's true, as far as everyone is concerned, you had a family emergency out of town and that's why you were away" Beck commented and she sighed in relief as she nodded to herself.
"Okay…" She said unsurely and continued drinking her coffee, she felt so strange in her life, it hadn't been that long, but all the time she'd spent in prison and on the street made her feel completely out of touch with everything that used to make her happy.
"What is it?" Cat asked worriedly.
"Nothing" Jade said trying to avoid talking about it, but they looked at each other sadly, they knew she wasn't alright.
"You sure?" Beck asked.
"Yes" Jade said coldly, so they decided to drop the subject.
"Okay…" Tori said and smiled, but Jade simply stared at her annoyed "Let's go to class"
They had to rehearse the play every day after to school to make sure Jade would be ready, but she felt like a total failure because she just couldn't bring herself to step into the character's shoes, because that meant allowing herself to feel and she didn't want to do it, she felt that opening that little door for her character's feelings would inevitably break the wall she'd been building up to keep her own at bay.
Jade decided to stay late one day all by herself, she didn't want to mess up the lines with everyone else there, but she had to find a way to make her performance believable without actually having to feel things.
However, she realized that wasn't easy, she'd always been able to channel her emotional reactions from her past because she'd learned to see it as a movie, but it wasn't and her recent experiences made it even harder to fool herself. The fact everyone knew the truth meant her perfect little bubble of self-deception was over and everything she'd been up until that point was gone.
"Hey" Beck suddenly said as he approached her from behind and she immediately flinched scared, she was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard him coming "It's okay, it's me"
"What are you doing here?" Jade asked confused.
"I came back to get something out of my locker and your car was still outside" Beck said and sat down next to her on the stage, so she looked down "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked and she sighed.
"Talk about what?" She asked emotionlessly.
"You know what, you are not okay, Jade" Beck affirmed "You think you can just pretend you're fine until it becomes true?" He asked and smiled sadly "That's not how it works"
"It worked before" Jade said and looked at him "I was fine…for three years and now…"
"And now what?" Beck asked.
"Now I feel I don't belong here" Jade admitted and shrugged "My parents act like nothing's wrong, they hug me and say they love me all the time, we have dinner, we watch movies, we go shopping, but it just feels…wrong, I feel I'm watching someone else's life and I just can't do anything about it, I'm like a passenger"
"Have you talked to them about this?" Beck asked.
"Of course not, what could I say? You guys are great, but I'm unhappy?" Jade said and shook her head "It's not their fault, it's me…I just…"
"Jade, be honest with them" Beck suggested and she looked down nervously.
"But what if…" She started and then stopped, she took a breath to stop herself from cying but the tears started flowing down her face anyway "I can't go back to the street" Jade said scared as she looked at him and kept crying, so he felt his heart breaking, she was terrified.
"Come here" He said and embraced her in his arms, so she broke out crying even more as he held her "It's okay…" He said and stroked her hair, while she finally let herself cry it out.
When she was done, he simply broke the hug and she wiped her tears away as she tried to control her breathing, because she was still scared and overwhelmed "Jade, listen to me" Beck said and held her face sweetly "You won't go back to the street, okay? You don't have reasons to be afraid of that" He affirmed.
"I just don't wanna go back" She responded scared.
"Why would you go back?" He questioned.
"What if they realize they don't really love me?" Jade asked nervously "Maybe they just made a mistake because they felt bad for me, I can't just tell them I'm unhappy, they've done everything to make me feel good and what if…what if…" she started and he sighed.
"What if they get upset because you're unhappy and kick you out? Is that it?" Beck asked and she looked at him sadly "Jade, do you realize how silly that sounds? It won't happen, I promise"
"I…" Jade started, but she didn't even know what she wanted to say, he had a point but that was a scenario she'd played out in her head countless times.
"You are scared and I understand, you've been through a lot" Beck said and held her hands "But it's over, it won't happen again, you have a home, you have friends and a family who loves you, this is your life, it's not a lie"
"Then why do I feel like this? Why can't I act like I used to? It's like…Jade died along with my lies" Jade commented sincerely.
"YOU are Jade" Beck affirmed "But I understand why you feel like this and I think you need to tell your parents"
"No" Jade immediately said "They haven't done anything wrong"
"I know, but you need help, Jade, you can't just keep living like this" Beck said sincerely and she looked down nervously "I'll be there with you and I promise it's gonna be okay"
Beck and Jade went to her house and found the family watching a movie in the living room, but they turned around when they heard movement.
"Honey, you're home!" Evelyn said "Hi Beck, do you guys want to join us? Diana is making us watch this horror movie and it's quite good" She added.
"Maybe some other time" Beck said emotionlessly and they could see Jade wasn't happy, so they paused the movie and stood up.
"Is there a problem? Did something happen?" Mr. West asked.
"Nothing happened, don't worry" Beck said.
"Then why do you look so distressed?" Diana asked Jade and she looked at Beck.
"Jade needs to tell you something" Beck said and her parents looked at her.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Evelyn asked and she stared at them nervously.
"Let's take a seat" Beck suggested and he sat down with Jade on one of the sofas, while her parents and Diana sat down in another next to them.
"You're worrying me, what's the matter? Are you okay?" Mr. West asked.
"Go ahead, it's okay" Beck said nicely to Jade and she took a breath.
"No, I'm not okay" Jade responded to her father "I haven't been okay since I came back"
"What do you mean?" Diana asked.
"I feel sad and scared…all the time" Jade said sincerely and tried to stop herself from crying again, but her eyes started getting glossy "I've tried not to think about it too much, I try to be okay but it just…I can't, I feel out of place, it's like I can't be myself again, I just keep remembering everything and it won't go away" She said and closed her eyes.
"You remember your dad?" Diana asked sadly.
"Him and the woman beating in prison and the men who attacked me on the street and that pimp I almost went with, I mean, if Anna hadn't shown up, I could've become an addict and a prostitute, it was just so close…That could've been my life and I feel that's where I actually belong" She said ashamedly as the tears streamed down her cheeks "It's just…everything, all the memories, I can't get it out of my head, it keeps tormenting me every minute of every day" Jade confessed "And I can't do anything right, I can't even act…or sing, it's like I'm me but I'm not really me, I feel...it's like I stayed on the street and I'm just watching a movie of what a normal life would be like, but I'm not really here" she said as more tears flowed out of her eyes.
"Honey, why didn't you tell us this before?" Evelyn asked disconcertedly.
"You've been so nice to me…but I just, I was afraid" Jade admitted.
"Afraid of what?" Mr. West asked confused.
"I don't know, afraid that you'd change your mind…" She said nervously and looked down.
"What do you mean?" Diana asked disconcertedly.
"She was afraid that if she told you how she truly felt, you would regret taking her back and she'd have to go back to the street" Beck explained, he knew she wouldn't be able to say it to them.
"Oh my god" Evelyn said shocked and sad, she couldn't believe she hadn't sensed that fear in Jade.
"Jade, look at us" Mr. West demanded gently and she took a breath as she looked up at them ashamedly.
"Honey, we will NEVER leave you, do you hear me?" Evelyn affirmed and moved closer to Jade to hold her hands "You don't need to be afraid of that, ever"
"I…" Jade started but she didn't know what to say.
"We are your family, Jade, you don't have be afraid to be honest with us" Mr. West said.
"That's right, we want to hear your voice, we want to know what you think and how you truly feel, you don't need to lie to make us happy" Evelyn said "And again, nothing will change our minds, you are ours and there's nothing you can do that would make us leave you, because we ARE your parents, we love you and we want you happy, sad, angry or whatever you might be feeling at any given moment, okay?" She asked smiling and stroked Jade's face.
"I'm sorry" Jade said.
"No need to apologize, honey, I'm sorry that you felt you had to please us" Evelyn responded "We should've known better"
"Yes, but it's not too late to make it right" Mr. West said "I'm going to book your first appointment with a therapist this week and you'll be attending for as long as it's necessary and we are gonna do everything we can to move past this, together, as family" He affirmed "You are not alone and you won't be alone again"
"Don't worry, honey, it's all gonna be okay" Evelyn said and hugged her, so Jade hugged her back and Beck smiled gladly, it was nice to know she would finally get the help she needed, he hoped Jade would be herself again soon, but life wasn't quite so simple, especially not hers.
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!
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