Author's Note:
This is the third flashback, this time from Hermione's POV. It gives some insight as to what she experienced during her absence from England... Mostly trying to find answers and some guidance. The events in this flashback happen after the break-up in Draco's flashback and between 7-8 years before the start of the story.
The few lines in Portuguese were translated by the wonderful 'letsdothepanic', and they should hopefully be understandable from context, but just in case, I'll add the English translations at the end!
Again, many thanks to MusicLover19 for beta-reading!
..
INTERLUDE: Search For Answers (7 to 8-ish years ago)
Hermione sat in the wooden riverboat, leaning carefully against the pile of provisions next to her, as she mindlessly looked out over the still, vast waters of the river and the endless rainforest bordering it.
They had left Manaus only a couple of days ago, but the monotony of the trip made it feel like an eternity. She didn't mind that her guide wasn't much of a talker, only now and then pointing out an interesting spot or an animal to see. He had agreed to take her on board as a passenger after she offered to pay for the journey as well as some of the provisions he was tasked to get for his tribe.
Travelling to the Amazon had been a shot in the dark, as she had only found vague hints about the Amazon tribe in old wizarding travel diaries that were stored in the Ministry archives. Those hints had even been more vague than those about the community of Harpies in the Olympic Mountains in Greece, but it felt like her last chance to find a way to live with her condition.
Greece had been a complete failure; she hadn't been able to find anyone who had any information about the community of Harpies she so desperately tried to find. Every time she mentioned them, the people made the cross and looked at her suspiciously as to why she would want to find those creatures, those spirits of vengeance.
"Senhora?" the guide said in his quiet voice, which still carried over the noise from the motor. "A onça..."
Hermione turned around to see where he was pointing, only to find a jaguar strolling across a riverbank on the over side of the river as if it was owning the place. It was the first time they've come across one as rare and cautious those animals were; they had seen quite a few monkeys sitting in the low branches and the occasional tapir taking a swim in the river.
It was a gorgeous animal, and she watched it continue its leisurely stroll across the sandbank, only stopping briefly to have another look over the river before returning into the forest.
They only stopped their voyage when the sun was low on the horizon, announcing the fast-approaching night and that it was thus time to set up their camp for the night. The guide led them to a spot he had used on other trips, a make-shift tent that was mostly held together by sheer will after months of being left to the harsh conditions of the rainforest.
At least it provided them with a dry spot to sleep and have dinner.
Although Hermione guessed it would be another monkey on stick, depending on her guide's hunting luck. She took what she could get, as long as it filled her stomach.
Unfortunately, waiting for her guide to catch their dinner also gave her time to let her mind wander. The rainforest around her was filled with noises, of animals settling down for the night or getting up to find food.
And then there were those barely perceptible noises, of animals sneaking between the trees. Noises that had her nerves on edge, as that damn creature in her head sensed danger from everywhere. So she frantically searched her bag for her wand as she felt defenceless without it.
The sound of a dry cracking branch in the vicinity immediately stilled her, and she listened for more.
Something was close by, probably circling their camp.
She went blind for a heartbeat or two, as the creature in her pushed for control over her body. And to her horror, it won. She couldn't stop it from transforming; her hands turned into clawed talons, and her body covered in feathers, threatening to tear her clothes.
But the worst of it all was that thirst for blood filling her head, and even her whole body.
She was about to jump in the direction of the noise she had heard when a simple touch on her shoulder stopped her. As a reflex, she turned around, ready to lash out but managed to stop herself just inches away from the face of her guide.
His face was still calm and collected, the catch of the day still on his back. "No, senhora. Não precisa fazer isso."
Even though she didn't quite understand his words, they helped her snap out of her state of trance, and she finally lowered her hand. She was still shocked, but at the same time, his calmness also helped her calm down. "I'm-I'm sorry..."
He nodded and pointed to the trunk that served as a bench in their camp and then unloaded his catch, something that looked like a rodent. With the same calm expression, he set about starting a fire, which would have been her task if she hadn't freaked out.
So, instead, she just watched him work on the fire and then the catch to skin it while she remembered to take deep breaths and relax. Endless minutes later, she finally managed to turn back to her human form, glad to once more see her own fingers instead of those dreadful and disgusting talons.
After one more deep breath, she finally felt calm enough again, so she searched her bag once more for her wand; seconds later, she pulled it out. Right now, she felt the need to cast a couple of Protection Charms, just like she had done during the hunt for the Horcruxes. Just enough protection to keep the wild animals out and her nerves calm.
"Você não precisa ficar assustada. Os animais preferem ficar longe dos meus campos."
She looked at him in confusion, as her brain tried to make sense of his words, and it took her a few seconds to realise that he wasn't speaking English. With an embarrassed and apologising smile, she lifted her wand and pointed it at herself to cast the Translation Spell.
The spell was useful, but it had the tendency to wear off after a while, so she had to recast it.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling a sudden exhaustion crash down on her. "I hope I didn't scare you."
The guide shook his head and checked on the rodent over the fire, making sure it didn't get burned. "I've seen many like you, but no one hated it as much."
"You've seen many like me? Others who turn into birds?"
"Birds, big cats, big dogs, anything... They all wanted to learn how to be their creature, how to embrace it. You, senhora, are here to learn how to control it."
"Yes." Pressing her lips into a thin line, Hermione nodded. "It took everything from me."
His response was a single nod in acknowledgement. After checking the meat over the fire once more, he got up to pick up something from their boat—something that looked like a can of beans and a vial with a dark green colour.
She was surprised when he held up a cup in front of her, filled with the same dark green coloured liquid. Reluctantly, she took the cup into her hands; she didn't quite recognise the smell, but it felt soothing, so she lifted it to her lips.
"Yes, drink it," he said with an encouraging smile, putting the lid back on the vial. "It'll help you sleep tonight. No need to be afraid. Raoni will help you tomorrow..."
That was all Hermione was hoping for—someone who could help her.
..
The next evening, Hermione found herself in a small hut in the corner of the settlement, daring to relax for the first time in weeks, letting the exhaustion of her search finally catch up with her. Outside, she could hear people chat and laugh, a surprisingly soothing sound.
It made her feel safe.
With a sigh, her gaze caught the second hammock in the hut, just an empty piece of fabric hanging from the roof. For a second, she imagined Draco lounging in it, his hair sticking to his head from the heat and humidity, and a tired smile on his lips.
And then the realisation hit her all over again.
They'd never spend another day together.
He'd never smile at her again.
She had left him for his own good.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she tried to breathe, overwhelmed by the sheer force of the emotions surfacing, the grief taking her over. Yet, this time, she didn't try to push it back down. Her heart felt like it was ripped out all over again, just as she remembered the look on his face when he had realised she was leaving him, his pleas, the desperate kiss.
"Grieving is important."
She startled, and covering her lower face, she turned to see who was standing in the entrance—an older man with a soft, understanding smile. "Wh-What do you mean?"
"If you want to learn from me, then you need to learn how to let go. And grieving is part of it."
She tried to wipe her face to look the slightest bit more presentable before she climbed out of the hammock. "I-I'm sorry... I might not look like it right now, but I feel honoured to be here."
"I know." He made a step inside, offering his hand for a greeting. "Come, sit with me for a moment. I want to know why you came here before I can help you..."
The second she started talking about her journey, words failing her repeatedly, Hermione knew she was in the right place.
And Raoni taught her everything he could in the following months.
..
Translations:
a) Não precisa fazer isso. (There's no need to do that)
b) Você não precisa ficar assustada. Os animais preferem ficar longe dos meus campos. (You don't need to feel afraid. The animals prefer to keep away from my camps)