Authors Note: New one shot! This was based on one of the best EO episode called Paternity. And a challenge between me, AlexisDawn, justanotherbookworm78, fragilevixenfic, liv.einziger, mrswellrested, WriterKC,eorocks and GallifreyGod. You can see their other versions of this beautiful episode under the #PaternityRedux on twitter. But for now, please enjoy mine. Don't forget to leave a review here and on my twitter, @svuxsquad

Disclaimer: SVU and It's characters are owned by Dick Wolf. I only own the narrative here. xoxo

TW/ Character Death

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We gather here

We line up weeping in a sunlit room

And if I'm on fire

You'll be made of ashes, too

Everytime I attend a funeral, I pray to god that this will be the last. But I know in my heart that it won't. As I watch the casket carried past all those people who pay respects, I close my eyes wishing it wasn't real. But when I opened it, It was. And as I look into the faces of those loved one that were left behind, whose worst fear so suddenly realized— I silently hoped, 'never again.'

And yet, here we are.

Even on my worst day

Did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you

I swear I loved you

Till my dying day

I fully remembered my first funeral, the day my grandfather died. My father held me close as I watch his casket went down. I saw how my mom cried so hard that there are no tears left. I watch my Aunts and Uncles try to console her. Telling her 'It will be alright, Dad loves you.'

Few years later, with four grown children standing beside me while my fifth was carried by my wife whose life you saved, Here I am attending another funeral.

This time, It was your funeral.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And you're the hero flying around saving face

And if I'm dead to you why are you in the wake?

Cursing my name

Wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

How can you be so selfless? We've been together for several years and yet I can't still understand it. Even the people around us don't understand you. How can you put yourself in a situation that you know you can't get out?

I just don't get it.

I remember hearing my wife's cries as she try to get you out of the vehicle, How is she trying to tell me the way you tolf her to get out of the sedan as it starts to fire. Because somehow your leg was stuck and there is no way you can't get out.

How the way you told her how thankful are you to be my partner. Because for some reason, you had a family. As the paramedics try to save your life, you told my own wife you're sorry because somehow you fell in love with me. Kathy told you that it's alright, that she knows, she holds your hand and she tells you how grateful she is for your to be part of our family.

Family.

We gather stones

Never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw

Some to make a diamond ring

You know I didn't want to

Have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

You wear the same jewels

That I gave you

As you bury me

You always wanted a family, even when you didn't tell me, I know you do. I watch you everytime you smile at a kid reuniting with their parents, I see how your tears threatening to fall down as you watch every mother held their daughters close while imagine how you hold your own child. And I held you as you cried while you told me about your brother.

I'm now thinking how I will never see your face in future light up as you held your daughter or son, I will never see you talking animatedly about your child's firsts and mishaps the way I will never hear your voice in the future calling me in panic because your child had a fever and you didn't know what do.

I'll never see your amusement when I tell you how proud I am with you…. Never.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name

Wishing I'd stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

But you know what? I hate myself right now. I hate that you sacrifice your own fucking life in order to save one. What are you thinking? You think you're a fricking superhero? Don't your ever think about your brother? Don't you ever think about the people who cares about you so much?

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want

Just not home

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

And I still talk to you

When I'm screaming at the sky

And when you can't sleep at night

You hear my stolen lullabies

Don't you ever think about me, Olivia?

Do you?

You don't know how much I love you, Liv. I'll never forget the day you walk in the precinct with a big smile on your face. I fall in love with you not because you are beautiful but because how you can put your heart out turning every victim into survivor, I fall in love with you because you are the only one who give me a reason to live.

I don't know what I'm going to do without you, Now that your gone.

"Detective Stabler?" An officer approached me holding the folded flag that has been draped in your casket. I took it and held it close to my chest. Just like I held you all those years ago. Kathy watched me as my tears fall down. While the whole NYPD salutes as your casket went down to the ground. And as your casket goes down, I say a silent prayer,

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

I pray that you will be happy up there, because goddamnit, you deserve to be so damn happy. I pray that when I die in the future, You will meet up there, with open arms.

I pray in the afterlife, I will able to tell how much I love you.

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

Cursing my name

Wishing I stayed

You turned into your worst fears

And you're tossing out blame

Drunk on this pain

Crossing out the good years

And you're cursing my name

Wishing I stayed

Goodbye, Olivia. Till' we see each other again.

Look at how my tears ricochet

Fini