As always, thank you so much for the reviews, and favorites, and follows! Much love! I'm so glad to know you guys are able to relate! :D
I have finished writing the draft for the story. So definitely expect daily updates! Also, there are 20 chapters in all. :)
Chapter name is inspired from TBBT, wherein Sheldon dutifully goes through social niceties if you tell him that it's a non-optional social convention.
Enjoy! :)
CHAPTER 10 – Non-Optional Social Conventions
"Riddle me this," Temari says, cradling a glass of wine between her fingers. "Your father's name is Hatake Kakashi but your name is Haruno Sakura."
Hinata, Temari, and Sakura are at Temari and Shikamaru's apartment for the evening. Shikamaru, meanwhile, is visiting his parents. Since his father works for the government, Shikamaru's parents stay in the government-mandated house. Apparently, Shikamaru moved out the minute he turned eighteen. I timed it, he had said lazily on a fine Saturday night at 10A.
Sakura shrugs, her cheeks dusting a light pink. "Kakashi said I came with a small note with the name Haruno written on it. He had no idea whether it was supposed to be my given name or my family name."
"So he kept it as your family name and gave you Sakura?" Hinata asks curiously.
"Yeah."
She'd already had this conversation with Itachi and Sasuke months ago. They both concluded that Kakashi is a wise man for giving her Sakura because Haruno is just "ugh". Kakashi wanted Sakura to always have the option to look up the name Haruno in case she felt the need to do so.
She never has. At least, not yet.
"Did the note say anything else?" Temari questions carefully.
"Not that I know of," Sakura admits. She has never questioned Kakashi over it. Even when the kids around her teased her for having a different name than her father, she put up with it. Sakura might not have a photographic memory, if such a thing even exists in real life, but she remembers with startling clarity the way Kakashi would don on flowery sundresses and attend her tea parties, wearing a tiara to match with her princess crown. His natural silver hair went beautifully with his role of a Grandma during such events.
Of course, Sakura grew out of her tea-parties phase within two months, but the principle of it still counts.
"Have you guys decided on a wedding date?" Hinata asks Temari.
It has been three months since their engagement already.
"Actually, I was thinking of having a December wedding," Temari admits.
Hinata's eyes widen and Sakura slowly lowers her glass from her lips.
"Temari," Sakura says, "it's the month of August. You'll have only four months in your hand to get things in order. And no offence, I hardly doubt Shika is going to participate much at all."
Even as she says it, Sakura thinks back to Itachi's speech to Shikamaru about how the process of the wedding in itself is part of becoming a team.
"Not to mention, the location of the wedding," Hinata adds in. "Will you have it here or Suna? Have your parents said anything?"
"About that. I was thinking of having it in Suna."
"What does Shika have to say on this?"
Temari shrugs and takes a sip. "He said he's okay with it if that's what I want. And I honestly do. I grew up in Suna. It feels right to do this near home."
"But! Temari, pulling a wedding together in another city within four months! How will that be even possible?"
"I know, okay?" Temari says. "But look at it in this way – I already have a flower decorator," she points at Hinata who blushes, "a caterer," she points at herself, "a groom, and a location. All I have to work on are the wedding invitations as soon as possible, and the actual ceremony."
"Hang on, Suna is not a location," Sakura says.
Temari rolls her eyes. "I know, you idiot. I meant an actual location for the wedding in Suna."
"Oh."
"What about the wedding dress?" Hinata asks. "And bringing everything together takes a while. Even if you do have all these sorted out, you will need to be at the location to conduct it all. Temari, there are decorations to think about. What kind of a theme are you going for? What about the band? The seating arrangement? Where will the guests stay? Their travel arrangements to and from the location? Since this is sort of a destination wedding, you will have to make sure the guests feel comfortable to commute. Not to mention, the priest. Are you calling for one-?"
"Hinata," Temari says loudly before the woman can continue listing out the worries.
"What? You're going to have to think about these things! Temari –"
"I don't," Temari smirks. "You do."
Hinata frowns. "Why do I have to … Oh."
Temari grins, holding her wine glass in a toast. "I was under the impression that the Maid of Honour will be taking care of it for me."
Hinata doesn't move a muscle for about thirty seconds. "You want me to be your Maid of Honor?" she repeats to make sure that she heard it right.
Sakura is staring between the two women, trying not to laugh at Hinata's dumbfounded expression. She wonders if she should be offended, but reminds herself that while the women have become her friends, Hinata and Temari are neighbours and have known each other longer. Hinata is also Shikamaru's close friend, and it must have been a matter of time for Temari and her to bond over the years.
"Yes, obviously," Temari says coolly. "Unless you don't want to…?"
"No! I mean, of course. I'd love that, Temari!" Hinata beams.
Sakura holds up her glass as well. "To the Maid of Honour."
"Hear, hear!" Temari says.
As soon as they clink their glasses together, Hinata's face morphs into one of horror. "Oh my god. Why would you tell me this so late? We have only four months in hand, you woman. And you want a destination wedding? This is going to end in disaster."
Temari and Sakura burst out in laughter.
"Who's the Best Man?" Sakura asks once they've calmed down.
"Itachi," Temari says. "Shikamaru hasn't asked him yet, though."
"Oh, can I be there when he does?" Sakura asks excitedly. She'd love to watch Itachi's face when he learns that he has to play a rather big role in a wedding, one of the most important social events in human life. Especially having to give the traditional Best Man speech.
Sakura laughs at another sudden thought. "They're going to be the most uncomfortable people in that wedding."
"I don't know about that," Temari cackles. "My little brother might beat them to it."
When Sakura was in Suna for her bachelor's and pre-med, the only reason why she even knew Kankuro was because he was in one of the same electives as her. They weren't friends, though. Kankuro loved to tease everyone around him, and when he learned Sakura's mock-name Pinkette, he took it upon himself to call her that every chance that he got.
Suna is not a large place. It's a small city that happens to have one of the better Universities in the country. For Sakura, the term small world took a completely different meaning when she learned that Temari is Kankuro's younger sister, that Sasori is working with Itachi, and that Naruto's friend in Kizoshan is Temari's younger brother, Gaara.
Sakura has heard titbits about Gaara. She's seen his photo on Temari's phone. He's a tiny little redhead who doesn't know how to smile. Temari says that Gaara is highly introverted and hasn't been able to make decent friends in life for it, except for Naruto.
Sakura felt so bad for him when she heard it, she felt like sending him a teddy bear using Itachi's delivery service.
"Since we're on the topic," Temari cuts through her thoughts. "Sakura, you're one of the Bridesmaids."
Sakura snickers at the phrasing. "Alright. Anyone else?"
"Maybe it would benefit me personally if you list out the wedding party in one go," Hinata adds in a pointed tone.
Temari sighs heavily. "Alright, if we're going to do this right now, I need to pop open another bottle of wine."
"I highly recommend it," Sakura says.
Unbridled, Itachi's haughty voice fills her head. Says the doctor.
She finishes the rest of the wine in her glass in one huge gulp.
xXx
When Shikamaru tells Itachi that he is his Best Man, Itachi stares at him with a blank face and then says a clear, "No."
Shikamaru sighs, as if he had expected this outcome. "Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No-"
"Yes," Shikamaru hisses. "I'm sorry, did I ask?"
"Aren't you supposed to?" Sakura points out, just for the hell of it.
"Temari didn't ask me, either," Hinata reminds her unnecessarily.
"Again," Sakura rolls her eyes. "Wasn't she supposed to?"
"I'm not doing it," Itachi states. "Find someone else."
"Who else?" Temari mutters under her breath, eyeing her fiancé. Shikamaru's friend list consists of everyone sitting in this room currently. Sakura supposes that either Naruto or Sasuke wouldn't mind it, but Itachi is Shikamaru's best friend at the end of the day.
"Itachi, don't be difficult," Shikamaru groans. "Just say yes so that we can get it over with."
"You won't have to do anything," Itachi says in a disgusted voice. "As the groom, your only job is to stand at the alter and say your vows and get married."
"My job begins after the 'get married' bit," Shikamaru complains. "At least be glad you don't have to do that."
The room bursts out in laughter, except for Itachi and Shikamaru who are glaring at each other.
"How is that a consolation?" Itachi says. "You two already live like a married couple. You'll just go home after the reception like any other day. I, on the other hand, have to perform the Best Man duties."
"Do you know what they are?" Sakura asks, interested.
"Of course, I do," Itachi defends. "I have to give a funny speech, walk the aisle with the Maid of Honour, and help the groom with shopping."
The room laughs again.
"That's not all, genius," Sakura giggles.
"That's all they show in the movies," Itachi grumbles. "I don't see anything else to be done."
"You have to help the Maid of Honour in the planning," Sasuke informs him. "Of course, that's usually an optional duty depending on the bride and the groom. As far as I know Shikamaru and Temari, though, I think it's safe to assume they want to do as little as possible in their own wedding."
"You also have to plan the Bachelor's party," Naruto adds, before either Temari or Shikamaru can defend themselves. Not that they looked ready to do it, anyway.
"Lead the groomsmen," Hinata lists. "Hold on to the wedding rings, dance with the Maid of Honour, and address the telegrams."
"Decorate the get-away car," Sakura says.
"Not to mention, if Shika gets cold feet," Naruto grins, "you have to make sure he is standing at the alter before Temari walks down the aisle at any cost."
"No," Itachi repeats. "Definitely not doing it."
"Then I suppose I'll have a wedding without a Best Man," Shikamaru sighs.
"You can't do that!" Naruto exclaims incredulously. "You can't have a wedding without a Best Man!"
"Watch me," Shikamaru mutters. "If he's not going to do it, I don't exactly want anyone else doing it, anyway."
"What?" Itachi stares.
"What do you mean 'what'?" Shikamaru frowns. "Are you honestly that surprised?"
"Well," Itachi clears his throat. "Yes."
"Why?" Shikamaru snorts derisively. "You're my best friend. The best friend is the Best Man." He states as though it were a law, and then sighs. "Itachi, you've been my only friend and the only friend I even wanted to have in life. Seriously, who else would I want there to be standing beside me when I marry the woman I love? You were the first person I told when I thought I liked her, the person who helped me plan the first date with her, you even moved out without a fuss when Temari wanted to move-in with me – even though you like to pretend it was for Sasuke's sake, and you told me to get my shit together when I freaked out over this whole thing in the first place. You're my best friend. I don't care about whether you're happy with the traditional duties or not. That's not why I want you to be my Best Man. I want you to be it because there's no one else I want to stand beside when I get married."
The silence in the room deepens. They all try not to stare between the two men, but it's difficult with Itachi that dumbfounded and Shikamaru giving him a 'duh' expression.
Sakura has never heard Shikamaru speak so many words in such a short span. Not just that, she's never heard him give an emotional justification. Even when he was freaking out over proposing, his reasoning had been a detached, generic opinion over the constitution of marriage as a whole. Sakura knows that Itachi and Shikamaru have been friends from college and former flatmates. However, she never knew that Itachi's involvement in Shikamaru's life had been this thorough. For all the aloofness the two men possess, they really sound like brothers after Shikamaru's little speech.
"Right," Itachi eventually says in a steady voice. "If that's the case, I … I suppose I can handle a few duties."
"Thank goodness," Temari mutters. "That's settled then. Maid of Honour," she points at Hinata, "and the Best Man," she points at Itachi. "You guys may begin the planning."
"December wedding in Suna," Naruto rubs his hands excitedly. "That's going to be freaking cold."
Suna is surrounded by desert from all sides. 'Freaking cold' doesn't even begin to cover it. Sakura has spent her winters firmly shut inside Uncle Gai's house – Kakashi's friend, with whom she was staying.
"Also, Shikamaru forgot to mention the groomsmen," Temari says. She points at Sasuke and Naruto.
"Perfect!" Naruto crows and Sasuke beams.
"Won't you need another bridesmaid?" Sasuke points out. "Itachi with Hinata, one of us with Sakura, and the other one with …?"
"Naruto can walk with Karin," Temari replies. "She's my friend from work."
"The redhead who swoons over Sasuke every time we visit the restaurant?" Naruto asks with an odd expression.
"Yep, the very same. Unless, you want to walk with Sakura then Sasuke can walk with Kar –"
"No!" Naruto interrupts quickly. "I can do it, no problem."
Temari smiles like a Chesire cat. "Wonderful."
Sakura turns to exchange a grin with Itachi, but it doesn't look as though he's even paying attention. His glass of Cuba Libre is empty and he's stirring the remaining ice cubes listlessly.
xXx
Later that night, Sakura fills in Kakashi and Uncle Obito with the wedding news. Kakashi has put her on speaker like always so that the three can talk at the same time.
"In Suna, huh?" Kakashi says thoughtfully. "In December. Obi, what do you say we plan a visit ourselves?"
"I think we should," Uncle Obito agrees. "We haven't seen Gai in a long time. Lee returned to Suna recently, as well."
Lee is Uncle Gai's nephew. He'd moved to Iwa for college when Sakura had moved to Suna for hers. She'd met Lee the few times he'd come home during the holidays, before she'd leave to return to Kakashi and Uncle Obito to spend her holidays.
"Really?" Sakura asks the two. "What is he doing these days?"
"He is helping Gai with the gym."
Lee has a degree in Sports Management. Sakura remembers the enthusiasm Uncle Gai tried to impart upon her all those years. He gave her a free membership for his gym, which was rather sweet, and it did help Sakura in more ways than one in its own way. Also, whenever Lee and she happened to be staying at the same time in the house, he would accompany her everywhere so that she wouldn't feel alone.
Apart from Sasori, and their friendship was limited to his games, Sakura had only two other friends – Sai and Shizune, both of whom she met in pre-med and not bachelors, long after Lee introduced himself in her life.
"It would make a nice Christmas holiday," Kakashi muses. "What's the wedding date?"
"23rd December."
"Perfect," Uncle Obito says and Sakura can hear the smile in his voice. "We can arrive in time for Christmas."
"I'll have to apply for a long break," Sakura points out. "And no way I'm staying there until New Year's."
"Yeah, yeah," Kakashi dismisses it. "The Drunken Surgeries, we know. We can return on 26th itself."
"That works."
Drunken Surgeries is what they call the night of doom that happens to be New Year's Eve. With the amount of parties and alcohol consumption and strange ideas that people come up with, it is one of the busiest times of the year at the hospital, if not the most. Sakura absolutely loves it. She has never missed a single one ever since her first time as an intern.
"Speaking of weddings," Kakashi says devilishly. "When can we expect yours, doll?"
Sakura rolls her eyes. "I'm not dating, Dad."
"Yet," Uncle Obito adds.
"Even if I was," she continues, "don't you think it would be a couple of years before a wedding?"
"Speaking of," Kakashi repeats in that same devilish tone. "Since you don't seem to be interested in dating whatsoever, shall we begin to arrange blind dates for you?"
"No!" Sakura snaps quickly. "And I have dated in my life. I don't see why you need to arrange anything for me because I'm clearly capable of doing it on my own."
Granted, Sakura has only dated two men until now, and they were over within a few months, it still doesn't mean she's going to let these two interfere.
"I hardly call that dating, sweetheart," Uncle Obito points out.
"Still," she says stubbornly. "The point remains. Besides, look who's talking! Two single men in their old age with a daughter. I should plan your wedding for you."
"We are not old," Kakashi defends. "And raising a daughter is a difficult task, right Obi? We believed that focusing on you was far more important than marrying."
"Precisely," Uncle Obito agrees.
"Please," Sakura scoffs. "But okay, fine. What about now? I haven't been staying with you two in a long time. You are free to pursue your own romance stories."
"And we have," Kakashi replies. "It's not our fault if the romance stories last one night."
"Ew," Sakura's face scrunches up. "You both need to stop that. Find someone decent, for god's sake."
"We're too old for that," Kakashi changes tactics, despite the fact that he was the one to quickly defend their age not two minutes ago.
"Precisely," Uncle Obito agrees again.
"Not you, too," Sakura groans. "Uncle Obi, you believe in romance stories more than either of us combined. Surely, you would want to stay with someone you love."
"Technically," Kakashi says stiffly, "he is staying with someone he loves. Me."
"You know what I mean."
"I do," Uncle Obito assures her but doesn't add more to it.
Sakura gives up. If they both want to stay with their strange dynamics, then more power to them. She just hopes that it doesn't blow in their face.
They talk a bit more about their respective work. Kakashi has his next book launch in the month of November, for which he has been visiting all kinds of shady places. He said that his agent has asked for a more stable plot line for the next book, and Kakashi has decided to write a proper story that has a sex scandal, with the detailed scenes of course. He is a porn writer, after all.
On the other hand, Uncle Obito has been offered a position as the lead journalist on a TV show. His years of field experience has made him a viable candidate, and he has his audition in two weeks' time. The surprising bit of information, though, is when he tells her that Itachi has stayed in touch with him this entire time. Uncle Obito calls him a smart, young entrepreneur with great potential.
As far as Sakura's work is concerned, she tells them about her recent successful surgery with Dr. Orochimaru. It got her name in one of the leading academic magazines as his assistant surgeon and co-researcher. Dr. Tsunade congratulated her personally and told her she's looking forward to more successes. Sakura has quickly gained fame as one of the youngest Chief Residents in their city and as the doctor who saved another doctor's life in the storage room at gunpoint.
Sakura calls it a night when the clock strikes eleven and it becomes difficult to stay on the phone any longer.
xXx
It all starts when Sakura says that she likes Hulk over Captain America after watching Avengers 1.
Itachi is glaring at her across the table as he, Sakura, and Sasuke sit for dinner at the restaurant where Temari works as a chef, called Alessandro.
"She'll have the greasiest burger you can possible prepare," Itachi tells the waitress. "Make sure to tell the chef to use last night's oil to fry the patty."
The waitress fidgets uncomfortably. "Sir, I'm afraid that's not –"
"And he will have chicken noodle soup without the chicken or the noodle," Sakura says loudly over the waitress.
"For drinks, she will have scotch, neat."
She hates scotch. "And he will have KF draught beer."
He says that it is as though the company tried to make beer as awful as possible and succeeded.
"For dessert," Itachi continues, "she will have pineapple pie."
"And he will have dark chocolate pudding."
Itachi hates bitter tasting chocolate.
"Can we have another minute, instead?" Sasuke smiles at the waitress. "Please scratch their orders."
She nods in relief and leaves.
"Cut it out, both of you!" Sasuke snaps the next instant.
"Tell her that!" Itachi says accusingly.
"You started it!" Sakura growls.
"If that means being so stupid that you'd pick a green monster who can't even control his temper, and probably needs yoga, then sure – I started it."
"He becomes Hulk after he loses his temper! Aren't you supposed to be a genius?"
"Aren't you supposed to be an expert on science and realise that exposure to such high level of gamma radiation and surviving is not even possible!"
Sakura's mouth gapes open a few times. "You wanna talk about how Steve Rogers became Captain America? If it wasn't for Howard Stark's Super-Soldier experimental serum, he wouldn't be what he is today!"
"Of course, you'd think about his perfect body," Itachi says loathingly. "But I meant his leadership skills!"
"He wouldn't have anyone to lead if not for his team, then what would be the point?"
"Oh, now you're choosing everyone over Captain America? Besides, Steve wouldn't have needed this particular team to lead. That's the beauty of being a true leader. You can have anyone in the team and know exactly what to do with them!"
"Steve is not playing chess, genius! And Hulk is not anyone. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't have been able to defeat Chitauri as efficiently!"
"Sakura, why do you keep changing sides? I know Steve is not playing chess, he's leading the Avengers into a better world. They need him!"
"They also need Hulk!"
"They would be fine without Hulk! They need Cap more than they need Hulk."
"This is an unfair discussion," Sakura reminds him. "I haven't seen all the movies, yet. You have. And I still think that they need Hulk even though you won't admit to it because you love Cap so much."
"Of course, I do. He's at the highest peak of human perfection!"
"I thought you didn't care about his body."
"It certainly helps."
"Now who's changing sides? Itachi, you're such a hypocrite."
"Look who's talking!"
Sakura stares. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Itachi scoffs. "Sakura, you're a doctor." She rolls her eyes. Not this again. "You don't care about your own circadian rhythm, you keep passing out at places, you miss meals, you drink wine to get through conversations, you're addicted to caffeine, and you have no regards to your own blood pressure. I can see the vein on your large forehead popping."
"Can we just have a normal dinner?" Sasuke interrupts loudly.
"Normal went out the window when you took this woman in," Itachi says, without missing a beat. "She asked for milk, Sasuke, not a BFF."
"As if you were even remotely normal when I wasn't there!" Sakura protests. "And Sasuke is a great BFF to have!"
"I'm sure he is," Itachi agrees. "Who else would sit through your mood swings during PMS and not go crazy?"
"Because he isn't a child! I swear, Itachi, you act as if I'm the only woman who has mood swings. How are you a CEO when you can't even sit through one complaining person?"
"Because my clients or co-workers don't hog on my time when they're PMSing! And I act as though you're the only woman who has mood swings because you're literally the only woman in my life to put me through that!"
"Oh, I'm sorry to have caused you such great pain," Sakura snarls. "It's not as though I'm a surgeon and don't already have enough body ache to deal with at all, that a little PMS puts me in a bad mood!"
"I always gave you a foot massage!" Itachi reminds her incredulously.
"That's the least you could have done after all the complaining you do about my complaining!"
"Least I could have done?" Itachi repeats, his voice rising with disbelief. "I've done so many things for you!"
"So have I," Sakura defends.
"Yeah? Like what?" Itachi challenges.
"I baked you a chocolate cake for your birthday with no prior experience because you like chocolate. I pulled sleepless nights so that I could attend your stupid birthday party. I drove to fucking Kiri on my off day to get you that bottle of rum you love when you thought I was staying at the hospital and told you that it was a gift from a co-worker. I convinced Hinata to lay you off from Best Man duties that would require you to take time off from work because I know how busy you've been recently, and I bought those stupid biscuits you munch on that I hate but you love, so that you can have them even when you're hanging out in my apartment! So I'm sorry if giving me a goddamn foot massage once a month is such a huge problem!"
Silence. Sakura glares at the floor, not wanting to see their faces.
The waitress chooses that time to return. "Are you ready to order?"
Sakura doesn't speak; not taking her eyes away from the while tiles.
"Yes," she hears itachi say. He clears his throat. "Tangerine chicken with steamed rice, coleslaw salad on the side, and lychee juice for her."
Sakura smiles despite herself. It's the order she was planning to have tonight, and had mentioned in their ride over to the restaurant. Itachi and Sasuke finish ordering for themselves, too.
"I still think Captain America is better than Hulk," Itachi mutters in the silence. "Without Cap, Hulk wouldn't know what to do."
Sakura shakes her head at him. "It's fine if Hulk doesn't know what to do. Banner is smart as hell. He would have figured out eventually."
"If it makes anyone feel any better," Sasuke puts in, "I think Iron Man is better than both Hulk and Cap."
That begins another round of argument.
Please review! :)
P.S.: Find me on Ao3, as well. :D