The Vulnerability Collection

by Lifeshandful

A collection of vulnerabilities.

1. Roped Into

Roped Into – Jason Hayes

Jason smiled softly as he looked across into the lounge watching as Jameelah and RJ played on the floor with a set of brightly coloured building blocks, or rather Jameelah was building towers for RJ to knock over which he was doing with squeals of happiness. It had been years since Jason's children were little but he could still fondly recall watching them playing just as he was watching Ray's children now. How he had been roped into babysitting was still slightly beyond him but Naima had asked him as a last resort as her mother had fallen ill, and he just could not say no as he knew how much both she and Ray were looking forward to the afternoon garden party that they were going on, or rather Naima was and Ray just wanted to make his wife happy. It was a function that was put on by the hospital once a year, and for the past several years Ray had missed it due to one thing or another.

"Uncle Jason?" Jameelah's little voice bought Jason out of his musing as he looked back over to her to see her looking over at him intently.

"Yeah sweetheart?" Jason replied as he picked up the two kiddie cups that had been filled with apple juice then managed to juggle his own mug of coffee into his other hand before he walked back over to join them in the lounge.

"Can we watch a movie after dinner?" Jameelah was the spitting image of Naima and it had him shaking his head as just like Naima he could not say 'no' to her.

"If you and RJ eat all of your dinner then yes we can. One movie only though, and you and your brother have to both agree on what we are watching." Jason was firm recalling the way Emma and Mikey would argue over what movie to watch, they still did on occasion, despite the age gap that was between them.

Jason smiled as both kids nodded and he sat down on the couch as they resumed their game happily. It was a few minutes later when Jason glanced down at his watch to look at the time as he knew Naima liked the kids to stay to a routine although sometimes the life of a Navy family got in the way of that. "You two have another twenty minutes left of playing then it's time to read while I make us some dinner." Jason recalled Naima stating that the kids were to read while he reheated the meal that she had made for them – lasagna and a side salad – and that the kids had to eat all of the food that she portioned them out.

RJ gave Jason a gummy smile as he took the bright big yellow block and hurled it at the tower that Jameelah had constructed before he threw his little arms up in the air as if he had scored. "That fun bud?" Jason found himself sliding down onto the floor with the children.

RJ giggled as Jason reached out and tickled his stomach before he caught Jason's large calloused hand in both of his. "Uncle W'ason!" RJ's little mispronunciation made Jason smile as the 'J' came out as a 'W'.

"What do you say buddy to me and Jameelah building you a really big tower that you can knock down?" Jason had eyed the blocks and done a quick count knowing that between the two of them they could make a really big tower using every block except one that would be used to knock it down.

RJ's eyes went wide and twinkled with mischief as he nodded hurriedly as his hands squeezed Jason's hand that still remained on his stomach. Yeah, I am sure going to hear about this, Jason thought ruefully as he was sure that this would not be the only time that one giant tower was built and knocked down. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, pwease…" RJ was practically vibrating with excitement.

Jameelah looked at her Uncle Jason and giggled as he began to tickle RJ again making him squeal in delight.

"Oh, no, don't think you don't get tickled." Jason heard Jameelah's giggle and before she even realised he was tickling her making her squeal and laugh as she squirmed away from him. He continued until both kids were spent, lying on the floor still laughing and catching their breaths. "Right, lets build this tower." He moved to pick up a couple of the blocks once he was sure that both of the kids had settled down.

Jameelah scrambled to sit up as there was nothing more she liked than making her brother smile and laugh. "How?" The wide eyed look had Jason hook, line and sinker.

Jason reached out and picked up the first block then placed it down on the floor in between all of them before he added another two on top of it then added a second tower right beside it. "We stack them up in two rows just like I have done until we run out of blocks. Might not be a castle or a wall like you have been building but it should fall down pretty well."

Jameelah picked up a block and carefully set it on top of the row that was closest to her with the tip of her tongue sticking out from between her lips as she focused intently on the task at hand as she and Jason stacked block by block.

"Now?" RJ asked ready to lob a brick at the tall towers as he looked up at Jason wide eyed.

"We haven't got all the blocks up yet." Jameelah shook her head as she reached up on her tip toes to put the next block up on top of the row.

"Not to many more bud then you can." Jason ruffled RJ's hair with his hand as he handed the last two blocks to Jameelah for her row before he put the last two blocks on his so they were evenly matched.

"Wow!" Jameelah's face matched RJ's as they both looked at the tall rows of blocks with wonder.

Jason shuffled back on his butt and pulled RJ up into his lap before Jameelah moved to sit beside him and he wrapped his arm around her letting her cuddle into his side. "Ready?" He asked both kids although it was not hard to see that RJ was ready to knock down the tall stacks.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" RJ chanted although he had yet to throw the block mainly because Jason had a light hold of the block so it could not go flying before it was meant to especially with the excitement induced flailing that he was doing.

Jameelah nodded softly as she settled further into his side. "Alright bud, when you are ready, throw it." Jason instructed as he let go of the block that RJ held.

RJ hesitated for only the briefest of seconds before he let the block go, flying through the air until it made direct contact with the mass of blocks sending them tumbling down everywhere. RJ's little arms flung up in the air and Jason barely managed to lean back enough to avoid getting a small hand to his face while Jameelah clapped and praised her little brother's effort.

"Think we might have ourselves a demolition expert sweetheart." Jason smiled at the unadulterated joy on the kids faces at something that was so simple.

"Again, again!" RJ contorted his small body to turn and look up at Jason from his lap wanting to knock over another tall lot of blocks.

Jason glanced at his watch knowing that they had exceeded the twenty minutes and that he should follow the schedule that Naima had laid out although he was not quite ready for it to stop either. "One more then we have to clean up all the blocks and put them away." He relented easily as he leaned forward without upsetting RJ and began to stack the blocks back up that were within his reach as Jameelah moved to gather and stack the blocks herself. It was nice to have experienced the joy and wonder that young children got from the simplest things again and Jason found himself comforted by the fact that Ray's children could have that.

SEAL TEAM

Jason was surprised when RJ had picked Finding Nemo as the movie he wanted to watch but then he recalled Ray saying something about RJ going through a phase that had him wanting to go to the local aquarium all the time to see the fish, but he was even more surprised when Jameelah happily agreed to it. Jason had made sure that both of the kids had washed up, got changed into their pyjamas, and had brushed their teeth before he had started the movie as he doubted they would make it through the entire film as he had let their playtime go for a lot longer which had resulted in no reading time and a rushed dinner.

Somehow Jason had ended up with RJ curled up in his lap with his head rested back against his chest while his arm was wrapped around Jameelah as she was curled up into his side with a blanket draped over her only moments after it had started playing. Jason had the overwhelming urge to text both Emma and Mikey but decided to wait until he was relieved of his babysitting duties as being with Ray's children made him miss his own and made him reminiscent of days gone by when they were little and Alana was alive. The thought of Alana made his heart clench and unbeknownst to him he tightened his arms around both children bringing them closer to him.

Jason turned his focus back to the movie playing as he did not want to think about Alana and when Emma and Mikey were little and the family nights that would have them tucked up on the couch. Simply put, it hurt to think about those memories knowing that it was never something that he or his children would have again. RJ clapped lightly and glanced up at him quickly as the scene where all of the fish in the tank in the dentist's office came on. Jason shifted his eyes from the screen to RJ seeing the little boy's joy at all the fish before he looked over at Jameelah who was not paying attention to the movie but to her little brother with a broad toothy smile gracing her face.

SEAL TEAM

Ray placed his hand across Naima's lower back as they walked up the drive once the cab had dropped them off. Naima stopped and turned into him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck as she pressed her body against his feeling as his arms snaked around her waist holding her close. It was much later than either of them had expected to be home as the afternoon garden party had dragged on into the night with leftovers and alcohol flowing although both had abstained from having any more than two drinks.

"I'm glad I was home and could come with you baby." Ray rested his forehead against hers having heard about it every year and hating that he could not attend it with her as she desperately hoped each year. He knew how much Naima loved this particular event; it was one of the few that she attended each year. Ray had spent the afternoon in awe of his wife, not that he was not in awe of her everyday, but he had watched her talk and laugh and he swore she lit up the entire room or rather the garden. Even the flowers did not look as radiant as she did. And he loved how she would glance back over her shoulder or scan the crowd to meet his eyes or send him a smile or blow him a kiss.

Naima smiled softly having enjoyed the time with her husband. "Me too honey." She pecked his lips softly wishing the night could have lasted longer but she knew they had already blindsided Jason last minute with babysitting and they were a lot later than they had said they would be. "We really should go inside and let Jason go home." She spoke softly already feeling Ray tighten his grip around her, and what she did not admit was that she would be happy to kick her heels off as her feet were aching.

"They will be in bed, and Jason will be on the couch, probably asleep." Ray did not doubt Jason's ability to look after his children after all the man handled Sonny and Clay, and faced terrorists on a regular basis. And Jason had spent more than one night on his couch over the years.

Naima laughed softly kissing Ray again before she turned her head towards the house seeing that the lights were still on which meant Jason was most likely up and not sleeping as Ray had proposed. "Let's put it this way, the sooner we get Jason home, the sooner I get you out of that suit and you get me out of this dress." She knew just what to say to get Ray looking at the house instead of her.

Ray smiled broadly. "Let's get inside." He unwrapped himself from her although left his hand settled on her back once more.

Naima and Ray walked smoothly up the path, and Ray unlocked and opened the door before he let Naima into the house first. The silence that greeted them had them sharing a look. He paused as he watched his wife stop, reach down and slip off her heels before she held them in her hand. "Feet sore honey?" He asked not having missed the look of relief that crossed her face albeit briefly.

"I don't wear heels all that often." Naima answered before she continued into the lounge although she stopped immediately knowing that Ray was only a step or two behind her.

Ray frowned at his wife's abrupt stop before he moved to her side and saw what she was seeing. Jason was on the couch asleep just as he had predicted but what he had not thought of was that Jason would have RJ snuggled into his chest while Jameelah was pressed tightly into his side, and all three of them sleeping soundly.

It was not often that Naima saw Jason look so peaceful, and she had seen him asleep plenty of times before on her couch but this time the strings of her heart were pulled. There was something so sweet about the way Jason had each of his arm's draped protectively around RJ and Jameelah, holding them close to his body. It did not take Naima long to figure out that they had been watching a movie as the disc menu for Finding Nemo was still up on the screen and they had fallen asleep.

"Should we leave them or put the kids to bed and leave Jason on the couch?" Naima asked deferring to Ray for his guidance although she had her own idea.

Ray weighed up both options however he knew that if they did not move the kids then Jason would wake up sore because of the way they were tucked into him. "You get RJ and I will get Jameelah." Ray decided knowing that Jason would most likely wake up once the kids were moved from his grasp. There was a reason why Ray had selected to take Jameelah while Naima grabbed RJ and it was because his wife had a knack for moving RJ without waking him up as he was a relatively light sleeper whereas Jameelah was a heavy sleeper.

Naima knelt down and put her heels down on the carpet before she stood back to her full height and moved forward to get RJ with Ray next to her. She reached out, gently placed her hand on Jason's arm and moved it off of RJ before she gathered her son up in her arms and cradled him to her chest as she watched Ray do the same to their daughter. However Ray moving Jameelah roused Jason.

Jason felt as the warmth that was against his body left and he rolled his neck to the side before he opened his eyelids, blinking to clear his vision a few times, and he panicked when he realised that neither of the kids were cuddled into him.

"It's alright Jason." Naima kept her voice soft as she swayed lightly to keep RJ asleep having seen the moment panic enveloped Jason as he realised that Jameelah was gone from his side. She knew how the men reacted at times having had enough experience with her own husband.

Jason raised his hand up and scrubbed at his eyes before he dropped it down to his mouth stifling a yawn as he looked up at Naima then to Ray. "Sorry, what time is it?" He pushed himself up wearily as he could not recall when he had fallen asleep although he knew that the film had not finished.

"It's late brother." Ray juggled Jameelah in his arms to glance at his watch. "Almost 11."

"Let's get the kids to bed Ray. Jason stay put while we do." Naima left no room for him to protest as she was already making her way out of the room with RJ wanting to get him tucked up into his bed.

Ray smiled at his wife's bossiness knowing that Jason would listen to her as he followed after her with Jameelah.

Jason yawned again before he leaned forward with his elbows on top of his knees and turned off the television as the bright glare was a struggle on his eyes that were still half lidded. He had no idea why he was so tired all of a sudden but he had to admit that he had been in a deep sleep before he had woken up. As much as he had enjoyed looking after Ray's kids he was looking forward to getting home to his own bed and getting some more sleep.

Ray returned to the lounge first having looked in on Naima who was still tucking RJ in seeing Jason hunched over. "You right brother?" He asked softly.

"Yeah I'm good brother. How was your party?" Jason changed the subject as he looked at his watch knowing that it was too late to text Emma and Mikey without making them panic that something was wrong. It would have to wait until the morning if nothing came up.

"It was great brother. Naima loved it." The way Ray was smiling told Jason that he was happy, and it was good to see him happy.

"That's good brother, real good." Jason pushed himself up onto his feet intending to leave them alone for the rest of the night. "I should get going."

Ray eyed Jason knowing that something was off with his best friend but also knowing him enough to know that he was not ready to share. "Thanks for looking after the kids. I hope they were good." Ray really did appreciate Jason's help especially given how last minute it was.

"They were great. Really, Ray, you have two amazing kids." Jason answered seeing Naima walk back in and wrap her arms around Ray as she rested her chin on his shoulder smiling.

Naima smiled wider as she scrutinised Jason silently but refrained from commenting instead letting Ray handle it. "Thanks Jason." She spoke softly before she slipped away down the hall leaving the two men.

"Beers tomorrow at the bar?" Ray extended the offer to Jason.

"I will let you know. Night Ray." With that Jason turned away and walked out of the house, making sure to click the lock on his way out.

SEAL TEAM

Jason made it home quickly thanks to the lack of traffic given the time of night, and immediately went for the large box of photos that was stored in the bottom of his wardrobe, the ones that had not made it into picture frames and onto display. He dragged the box out and sat down on the floor with it before he opened it and pulled out the first box then removed the lid once it was down on the floor in between his legs.

Jason smiled fondly at the first photograph he pulled out running his thumb over the crinkled corner. It was a photo that he had looked at many times before, one taken many years ago. It was him and Alana and their kids held securely in his arms. He could recall with vivid detail the way Alana smiled up at him when somebody (who he could not recall) offered to take a photo of them as they were at the park on a rear snow day before she lifted both of the kids into his arms and snuggled into his side once she had handed the camera over to the stranger. That snow day was one of Jason's favourite memories because of all the things that he could still recall vividly – the wonder and excitement in Emma and Mikey's little eyes, the way Alana's eyes were bright and her smile beamed as she watched him adoringly play in the snow with their children, the snowmen that they built, and of course the photo they got all because of the kindness of that passing stranger. He let his thumb lightly sweep over Alana's face wishing he could see her smile and hear her laugh just one more time, he wished he could have another snow day with her and the kids. But of course it was wishful thinking.

Jason sat the photo down on his lap before he pulled out another photo, one that was of Emma reading a book to Mikey who was barely two years old if the caption written in Alana's handwriting on the back of the photo was any indication. There were so many similarities between Emma and Jameelah, and the way they cared for their little brothers.

Jason set the photo aside then thumbed through a stack of photos before he stopped and pulled out one that caught his eye as he could not recall having ever seen it before. It was a photo of Mikey, aged 4, curled up into his chest asleep while he slept on the couch and from the looks of it Mikey had been sick and Jason had just returned from a spin up as he had scratches to his face. Long gone were the days when he could hold his kids against his chest and let them sleep, and long gone were the days when everything seemed so simple.

Jason rested his head back against the wall and closed his eyes as the memories flooded his mind of Alana, Emma and Mikey. He was so caught up in the memories that his brain recalled that he barely registered the door to his house opening.

"Dad?" Emma spoke softly from the safety of the doorframe seeing her father on the floor with his eyes closed. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him but she doubted he was sleeping although he did look like he was at peace.

Jason's forehead furrowed at the sound of Emma's voice calling to him having to take a few seconds to work out whether it was real or if his mind was playing a cruel trick on him before he forced his eyelids open to see Emma standing and smiling at him. "Emma! Are you okay? What are you doing home?" The questions tumbled from his lips automatically as it was almost midnight and she was supposed to be in New York studying.

Emma held her hands up with her palms out as she crossed the threshold and moved to sit beside Jason. "I'm fine Dad. I missed you and thought I would come home for a few days in between classes." She smiled although she wished she had not worried him before she caught the photos that were scattered around. "Trip down memory lane, huh?" She asked reaching into the box for the album that her Mom had made for her and Mikey. She recalled packing all of the albums and loose photos into the box but she could not bare to look at them at the time as the pain was too raw but seeing her Dad look at them made her feel ready to as well.

Jason smiled as he raised his arm and draped it over his daughter's shoulders as he pulled her closer and kissed her head taking a few seconds to inhale and breathe. "I've missed you too Em." He was in awe of his daughter, of her strength, but then again she was his and Alana's daughter, and nothing would stop her. "I love you."

Emma smiled as she turned her neck so she could look up at him and smile before she wiggled around until she was snuggled into his side with her shoes kicked off. "I love you too Dad."

Jason kissed her forehead once more before he looked down at the album she had picked and was now resting on her lap, and for the life of him he could not recall what was inside that particular album knowing that Alana had taken a lot of time to craft each album. Emma picked it out for a reason. "Why this one Em?" He asked softly as he tapped his finger against the dark blue cover.

Emma knew her father well enough to know that he did not know what was contained within the pages of the particular album that she had picked up but she would not hold it against him instead she was glad that she had surprised him with a visit and made it home to share this with him. "Mom made it to remind us of the family we gained, and how they all love and adore us. It's our family Dad, it's your family, the gift that you gave us, and that let us into the other part of your world that you could not always share with us. Mom used to say that Mikey and I, and the others, were special because we gave you and them a peace that you could not get at work. I did not understand what she meant by that for a very long time, well actually I think I only recently began to understand it." She paused and watched Jason carefully to gauge his reaction seeing him swallow thickly. "I want you to read what Mom wrote to me, to us, please Dad."

Jason had no idea what Alana had written but having Emma ask him to read it to her made his heart ache. He cleared his throat as it suddenly felt thick. "Let me see Ems." The way her eyes lit up made his resolve stronger. Emma picked up the book, letting her fingertips run over the cover to feel the embossing, before she opened the album to the first page and smiled softly at her mother's handwriting. The cursive was neat and floaty with big loops just as she recalled, and something she had tried to emulate but she could never get it right. Jason reached out and moved the book into his lap so that Emma could still see it. It was strange to see Alana's writing again, and it was even stranger to not have known anything about it. "She gave it to me and Mikey just weeks before… before she died… I have not looked at it since then but now is the right time."

"You sure you want me to read this Ems?" Jason asked softly as a part of him felt like it was intruding on something that Alana and the kids shared.

"I do, and I think you need too." Emma answered simply as she shifted and rested her head on his chest listening to the strong and comforting beat of his heart; it was something she had done a hundred times ever since when she was little.

Jason cleared his throat again and tightened his arm around Emma before he tilted the album up. "Dear Emma and Mikey. I know it may seem that at times there is a disconnect in your world, that your Dad is not always at home when he is, but I want you to know that he gave you an amazing gift that I hope you will treasure forever. He loves and adores both of you, and will go to the ends of this earth to protect you. He will sacrifice everything for you." Jason paused already struggling to reign in his emotions but he had to continue for both of their sakes. "Family is not always blood. I once heard Adam Seaver say 'the team is your family' and it stuck with me. There are so many people that love, adore and protect you both, and you have your Dad to thank for that. They will fight for you just like he and I always will. When you don't think you have the strength they will. When you don't think you can fight anymore they will fight for you and with you. When you are lost, they will guide you." The end of the short paragraph gave Jason a perfect place to pause as he fought to control his emotions.

Emma could feel how Jason's heart beat quickened and the way his breath hitched but she stayed silent as she waited for him to continue.

Jason pressed a quick kiss to the top of Emma's head before he blinked a couple of times to clear his vision. "On the next page there is something that is dear to your Dad, and to the men that he shares the other part of his life with. Only when you understand that will you understand them, or at least that is what I thought for a long time but the truth is we all need someone and we all need some peace in our lives. I want you to know that everything I did was to maintain that peace, at times it may have been wrong but hindsight is a wonderful thing. I love your father, have since the moment I met him, and I will always love him. Not just because he gave me the two of you but because of the man he is. I hope that you are proud of him and the men that are your family because I am. Remember what he and the rest of the family he gave us do that so few can do; they face unimaginable danger in the face of inconceivable odds, and they risk their lives to keep us and everyone else safe. It is a part of them and I do not want you ever to resent them for that."

Jason drew in a short breath before he continued. "Within this album are all the pictures that I could find of the two of you with the family that your father gifted you. Some are no longer with us but it does not mean they are forgotten. Some of them might not be in the album just yet but I hope that they will find their way into the pages that are still to be filled, and that is only because you have not met them yet. Love them, cherish them, and remember the joy and peace that you bought them even when you did not realise it and will bring them. They are your family Emma and Mikey, and they will always be with you. I love both of you, and they love you too. Love Mom xoxo." He did not even try to stop the tears as they ran silently down his cheeks dripping down onto Emma. Of course Alana would do something to make sure that the kids understood and knew that they were loved.

Emma let the heavy silence sit for a few minutes longer knowing her Dad needed it before she reached out and wrapped her hand around his, squeezing tightly. Hearing her Dad read her Mom's words had Emma wanting to cry but she had to be strong for a while longer. "Turn the page over. I want to hear you say it." She knew he did not need to read it as he could recite it from memory but she wanted to follow along with his words.

Jason sniffled as he tipped his head down and with a shaky hand turned the page already having an inkling from Alana's words what she had included, and he was right.

"Forged by Adversity

In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation's call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed. Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America's finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life. I am that man.

My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day. My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own. I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.

We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations. I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.

We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me – my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete. We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend. Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed. I will not fail."

Jason did not fail to recite the creed that had been recited by him many times before but this time there was something different as he watched Emma's fingertips hover over the page following along as he spoke. When Jason stopped Emma let her hand drop down and rest against his stomach.

"I should have told you this a long time ago. I am proud of you Dad." Emma broke the silence after a few more minutes. It felt strange to say it but she knew he needed to hear it and she wanted to tell him. Although she did not know all of the horrors that he saw or went through she knew it took its toll but she was proud of him and all of her family, the part that he had gifted her and Mikey. She understood it now, understood what her Mom had put into words, and hearing it through her Dad's emotional voice made it all the more meaningful.

Jason had this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around Emma and hold her tight to him like he used to do when she was little but instead he settled for staying as they were. "Thank you Ems." He was overwhelmed.

Emma reached out and turned the page hearing her Dad sniffle which was quickly followed by a chuckle at the first photo. "You were hurt, I don't recall how but I remember Mom being worried, and we went to visit you in the hospital. Sonny and Brock were at your bedside when we got there." Emma still could recall watching how her Mom's face had paled as she got the call that told her he had been hurt and had been airlifted back stateside with the rest of the team, it was the first time she truly saw her Mom scared but she was not going to share that.

"I got shot." Jason supplied without much thought as he recalled the bullet that pierced the plate in his vest going into his stomach before it bounced around breaking a few of his ribs which in turn punctured his lung before it exited. Yeah, he could recall that he learned that going into hypovolemic shock in the middle of a third wheel country was on his never again list.

"Sonny and Brock decided to take me and Mikey so Mom could be with you." Emma knew that her Dad did not recall any of this as he had been under the influence of some strong analgesics while in the hospital. "We ended up in the waiting room where this photo was taken." She smiled softly with a tinge of sadness lingering.

Jason looked at the picture silently admitting that he had not seen it before and he had to wonder who had taken it as Alana would not have been in the right frame of mind to even think about taking it. Sonny was laid down on his back across multiple chairs with his cowboy hat covering his eyes and his arms wrapped around Emma who was asleep on top of his chest with her face pressed into his neck while Brock was sat on the floor with his back rested up against the chairs with a six year old Mikey cradled securely in his arms asleep. If he recalled correctly, Brock was fairly new to the team at that point but still a part of the family nonetheless. "I didn't know that." There was not a lot he recalled from in the hospital as everything was fuzzy as he had been in a morphine induced haze.

Emma snorted abruptly as she twisted and turned until she was looking up at her Dad without being away from him. "You were higher than a kite Dad. They had you on the really good drugs during that stay. Do you want to know what I remember most about Sonny and Brock looking after Mikey and I that time?"

"Suppose I was. Kind of lost track of things for a while there." The irony was that he had lost track of more than a few things since Alana died and that was without morphine. "What stuck with you Em?"

"Sonny didn't lie to us, didn't give us placations. I cried because I was scared and he held me so tightly. It was like being in your arms with the feeling of safety that enveloped me that day. And then there was Brock who got Mikey to actually look at him and let him be hugged. That was the day that Brock and Mikey formed their bond." Emma could still recall the way the ornery Texan delicately wiped away her tears then held her tightly letting her cry, he did not tell her to stop instead he let her get it all out. And Brock had connected with Mikey who was incredibly shy and just as scared as she was although he had less of an idea of what was going on.

Jason smiled at Emma's recollection of that day, not just for her but for Mikey as well. He was thankful for his brothers. "They stayed like that all night in that waiting room with us because Mom sat beside your bed all night. It was Ray who woke us up and ordered them to take us for breakfast. I think Grandma Linda arrived later that morning to stay with us."

Jason gave Emma a watery smile before he scrubbed his hand over his eyes. Of course he knew the team had been around during that hospitalization but he had no idea that it had been Brock and Sonny who had taken care of Mikey and Emma so that Alana could stay by his side, and he had never thought to ask either. "What else is in here?" He asked as his inquisitive nature was peaked. There was something about hearing all the things his brothers had done for her and her brother in her own words that made him even more grateful for them, and for Alana making the album.

Emma turned the page cautiously knowing what the next two photos contained which would not be easy on Jason and she watched closely for his reaction, or more acutely what the top photo was of. She saw the moment his hand dropped to his right thigh and rubbed, a subconscious action that she had seen a few times before and she knew had to do with Nate and his death although she would never question him on it. "Nate and Mikey at the Bravo 4th of July cookout. And then that is Adam with me and Hannah having a tea party." Emma pointed at the first photo before she moved to the second. The first photo was Nate holding a squirmy Mikey after he had caught him coming off the end of the slip and slide that had been set up, while the second photo was of Adam sitting at the kiddie table with her and Hannah when they were a lot younger, maybe five or six years old, and he was dutifully obliging them.

"I think I was the one who took the photo of Nate and Mikey. That was a good day." There were many fond memories from that cookout as it was the last one they had before Nate was killed. Every single member of Bravo had been there along with their significant others and their families. Even some of Alpha had been in attendance, and the day had ended with one hell of an amazing fireworks show courtesy of Full Metal.

"Yeah it was. I still don't know where Full Metal got all of those fireworks from. I don't even think you can buy them at the store." Emma laughed lightly recalling even the look of surprise on Full Metal's face once he set the fireworks off and they brightly and beautifully lit up the night sky.

"That's because you can't Em." Jason laughed lightly. He had to admit he was glad they had chosen to have it at the local park rather than in one of their backyards that year because those fireworks could be seen for miles and they were loud as hell.

Emma shook her head and reached out again deciding to flip over a few pages mainly because she wanted to hear her Dad explain the photo that she was showing him. "Who did end up finishing the playhouse Dad?" It was a photo of him and Ray looking rather flustered as they tried to build her a playhouse for the backyard with little success, and then the second photo was of her Mom and Naima toasting themselves in front of the finished playhouse.

Jason grumbled recalling his hatred for that damn playhouse knowing that he and Ray had spent the entire day trying unsuccessfully to put it together but it had been Alana and Naima who finished it off later that night, both had a glass of wine in their hands while he and Ray manned the grill as they did it. "We did most of it, they just put the finishing touches on." Jason was quick to answer knowing that it was not quite the case but it was the story he was sticking too.

"Uh-huh." Emma smiled knowingly having heard that story retold proudly by her Mom and Naima when they were a bit on the tipsy side once much to her Dad and Ray's embarrassment.

Jason shook his head knowing it was not an argument he was going to win with Emma as it was one that he had never won with Alana and he knew better than to argue with Naima over it. He reached out and turned the page over seeing that the two photos stuck there were with Lisa; the first photo was of her holding Mikey in her arms despite being way to old and heavy to be carried and according to the caption made by Alana beneath the photo Mikey was ten years old, and the second photo was of Lisa smiling as she zipped up the gown that Emma was wearing. Yeah, Jason was going to need those explained as he could not recall what occasions they had been taken on. "Do you know when these were taken?" He asked wishing he knew.

Emma smiled softly knowing why her Dad did not recall as he and the rest of Bravo had been spun up as both pictures had been taken in the span of three days. "Lisa did not go with you when you and the team were spun up, and she was not required on base. I don't know why, doubt I would be privy to that information." Emma explained seeing as it registered in her Dad's mind. "That was taken the night of my recital, it ran late and Mikey had spent the day at his hockey tournament so he was exhausted. Lisa spent the day watching him play with Mom and I as well." Emma stopped.

Jason remembered that mission as Lisa had been on medical leave and therefore had not been with them although he had no idea that she had spent that time with his family helping out Alana. Lisa had been hurt in a mandatory training exercise for all Bravo support, not seriously but enough that the doctor deemed her grounded which she adamantly fought against and ultimately lost. "And that was from your school dance, right?" He asked as he looked at the second photo.

"Yip" Emma popped the 'p'. "Mom was running late from work so Lisa helped me get ready. I think she had more fun with the girly stuff than she will ever admit."

"You looked absolutely stunning that night, I remember your Mom showing me all the photos that she took." Jason remembered the awe that he was struck with seeing how his little girl was growing up when he had first seen the photos, and now he was in awe of the young woman she had become.

"Thank you Dad." Emma blushed with her cheeks going a soft pink. It was hard to believe that it was only a few short years before because it seemed so long ago but then so much had happened. "You know, I have been saving some photos that I have been meaning to add to the album but I have not looked at it since I packed it into this box." There was a stash of photos that Emma left inside of a book that she made sure her Dad had. "We could add them, I mean only if you want too." She did not want to overwhelm him.

"I'd love to see them Em." Jason really did want to see what Emma had deemed worthy to be added to the album.

"Okay, I will be back in a second." Emma reluctantly left the comforting warmth of her Dad as she rose to her feet and then left the room to go and get the photos.

Jason shifted slightly before he began looking through the rest of the album seeing photos of the kids with Eric, Ray, Trent, and even Mandy as well. Some of the times he could recall where and when they were taken and other times he was not so sure but what he did know was that Alana was right, that his kids were lucky to have so many people that loved them.

Emma smiled seeing that her father was smiling as she ambled back into the room with a couple of pillows as well as the brown paper envelope that she had put all of the photos in. She figured that her Dad would be getting sore from sitting on the floor up against the wall but she knew that he was content where he was. "Here Dad." Emma tossed one of the pillows which he caught with ease and immediately slid it between his back and the wall while she followed suit and sat down then cuddled back into his side. Once Emma was settled she opened the envelope and pulled the small stack of photos out then held them out to Jason to take which he did.

The first photo was definitely not one that Jason had seen before and it caught him off guard as his stomach twisted up in knots just looking at it. "I went to visit him in the hospital because I knew you couldn't." Emma's voice interrupted the pit that was forming. "I fell asleep, ended up being there the whole night." She shrugged knowing that she had not shared this with anyone before, and she knew that it was not something that Clay liked to talk about, and Swanny was no longer there to tell them.

Jason swallowed thickly as he studied the photo intently. The photo must have been taken by a nurse because it was of Clay in his hospital bed asleep with Emma asleep in the recliner beside Clay's bed with a blanket draped over her while Swanny watched over both of them intently from the other side of the bed. It was the only time Jason had seen Clay in his hospital bed after he had survived the bombing in Manila, and even now he could see the dark circles beneath Clay's eyes but what caught his attention was the way Emma had her hand wrapped around his wrist grounding him. There was so much sadness that Jason felt from that one photo because that photo cemented that they were all Clay had, that it was his daughter and Swanny at his bedside when the rest of Bravo could not be.

"Tell me more Em." Jason suddenly wanted to hear every detail, wanted to know everything about the visit that he knew nothing about before.

"I spoke to you the night before and I asked you about Clay. You avoided the question." Emma began before she paused wondering how to explain what she had been thinking. "I spent the night awake. There was something in your voice that made me unsettled, and I just could not shake the feeling that Clay needed someone. I spent a good couple of hours replaying the party for Lisa going to OCS, and how unsettled Clay was as he did not want a Gucci deployment at the time. I remember you telling him to eat some mac n' cheese. You referred to him as 'Uncle Clay'." She smiled at the memory. "Anyway, I only had a half day at school the next day so I arranged for Mikey to be picked up and stay at Henry's for the night. I knew that Swanny had been going into visit Clay but I was not sure of the schedule so I picked them up both some food and went to the hospital."

"And what then Em?" Jason pressed softly wondering what she had experienced that day as Clay had gone radio silent on them at the time.

"When I arrived Swanny was not there, and Clay had just finished his physical therapy session for the day so he was pretty exhausted. I don't think he knew why I was there, or maybe he wondered whether you had sent me but I told him that you had not and that I would not share anything with you until he was ready to do it himself… Guess I am kind of breaking that now but it does not count…" Emma shrugged as she took a breath deciding that she was not breaking it because Clay was back operating. "I remember how dull his eyes were Dad, how they were filled with fear, and how apprehensive he was." Those baby blues were swimming with insecurity and doubt but she bit her lip at that thought. "I talked, well rambled, a lot about anything and everything I could to distract him that afternoon, and he listened. Somehow the idea of paper planes popped into my head so I got some paper from the nurse who had come into check on him and we had a paper plane competition to see whose would fly the furthest. That was when Swanny arrived and he joined in. No one actually won mainly because the room was not really big enough to fly them in." There were several paper planes scattered on the floor as many of them had hit the wall and crashed.

Jason listened intently to Emma and he could picture the scene in his head which was helped by the photo providing the setting for it. He wished he had known before but he knew why he had not been told, and surprisingly he felt okay with them having kept it private although he was happy that he was hearing it now.

"Clay began to doze as he had exhausted himself but it was easy to see the pain he was in. I don't even know why I did it but I placed my hand on his wrist and it settled him. Swanny said that he had not seen Clay so restful since they had dialed back all of the drugs, and it was in that moment that I could not bring myself to take my hand off of him. I figured if it bought him a small amount of peace and allowed him to rest then I could stay." Emma stopped as she felt herself shudder. "Dad?"

The change in Emma's voice was alarming to Jason and he had felt her shudder. "Yeah Ems?" He asked softly because whatever it was had her spooked.

"There was nothing Clay could have done for Swanny, to stop him I mean. No one saw it, not me and not him. It's important that you know that." Emma's voice changed again and it was firm while she needed him to believe her.

Swanny had known Emma when she was little when he was on the teams. "I know that Em, there was nothing that any of us could have done. We can wish that things had been different, we do, but we know that once Swanny got it into his mind then there was no stopping him." It was not something Jason had thought all that much about, sure he had said at the wake that they all had a little bit of what Swanny had but he had not thought anymore about it after that day.

"Have you ever told Clay that?" Emma knew they were veering off the topic but it was important for her to know.

"I don't know Em." That was the honest truth although Jason wished he could recall. "What else did you and Swanny talk about that night?" He asked wondering what had happened that night at the hospital.

Emma smiled softly but it was brittle and her eyes were glassy. "About Clay mostly. Swanny asked me if I knew much or anything at all about his family, and I didn't, I don't still. We talked late into the night. The last thing I remember Swanny saying before I fell asleep was that Clay would be back with you all operating. He had that belief even when Clay did not." It was the truth and something she could not shake. "I woke up in the morning with a blanket draped over me because Swanny was holding a cup of coffee right under my nose, he said 'you can't sleep away the day'. It was barely seven in the morning! He must have left at some point during the night cause he was freshly showered and changed too, and before I could even take a mouthful of the coffee he was ordering me to wake Clay because his breakfast was about to be served before he left the room saying he would be back soon."

Jason chuckled at Emma's bitterness at being woken up after only a few hours of sleep because he knew how much she liked to sleep but he did not press her for more information instead he decided to wait to see if she would say anymore.

"I woke Clay up as gently as I could after I finished my coffee, and I could see the surprise that he had that I was still there. The rest of the morning was really quiet but comfortable until he told me very nicely to go home and get some sleep." Emma and Clay had sat in silence which was surprisingly comfortable for a few hours longer before he had told her to go home and rest as he knew she needed to get Mikey. "I was on my way out when a nurse stopped me and handed me the photo. It kind of surprised me at the time but now I am really glad we have it. It not only shows what Clay went through but that Swanny was watching over the both of us, kind of like I hope he still is today."

Jason kissed the crown of Emma's head before he rested his chin on top of her head. "I am glad he was there Ems." The pair sat in silence for a few minutes both thinking about the bombing that nearly cost Clay his life and the loss of Swanny before Emma shifted, placed the photo down on one of the spare pages and then showed Jason the next photo. The photo was of Cerb with Mikey both asleep on the floor, both with pillows under their heads, snuggled together. "Did you take this one Em?" Jason had a feeling that Emma would have snapped the photo.

"I did. It was only taken a few weeks ago." Emma smiled happy that she managed to capture the moment as she knew how important that Cerb was to the team as she knew the job he did.

Not every photo was from an occasion or had some deep meaning behind them but rather they were all important because they showed the family that they had. Emma had a few more photos – one of Sonny with Mikey on his back, one of Mandy, Lisa and Naima with Emma who had RJ held on her hip as they stood in the kitchen laughing, one of Ray helping Mikey practice for hockey, one of Trent patching up Mikey who had a scrape on his leg, and one of Brock stoking the fire pit with Clay and Emma beside him clearly in a conversation. One by one Emma and Jason stuck the photos down on the pages that had yet to be filled.

The first rays of the new day began to peek in through the window. The two had stayed up the entire night talking, swapping stories, and looking through photos. "What do you say that we go and get breakfast from that diner that we used to go to?" Jason was starving and he wanted to continue talking to Emma recalling memories that he had not thought about in years.

"Can I get an ice cream sundae if I eat all of my pancakes?" Emma teased knowing it was a tradition to share a sundae after they had eaten their pancakes, it was something that they had not done in a long time, had a father daughter breakfast date and it was something she missed.

"I think that can be arranged." Jason chuckled as he patted Emma's hip as he still had his arm wrapped around her. "You want to get changed first?" He asked knowing she probably would want to after driving from New York and then sitting up with him for the rest of the night.

"Yeah." Emma decided that a pair of ripped jeans and one of her Dad's old hoodies that was oversized on her but so very comfortable would be good enough. "Be back in a few." She kissed her cheek as she unfurled herself from his side and got up knowing that she had to wash up and change then he would before they went out for breakfast.

Jason watched as Emma walked out of the room, proud of his daughter, before he moved forward and began picking up all of the photos and albums that they had been through and put them back in the box. He was glad for the trip down memory lane, and he was so very happy that Emma had made him read what Alana had written for the kids. He would take the time that Emma had and spend what he could with her. He may have been roped into babysitting Jameelah and RJ for Ray and Naima but what he got out of it was worth it because he got to spend the time reminiscing and learning more about his children's lives and how the unintentional 'gift' he gave them was still influencing and caring for them today.