Without further ado.

Chapter name is dedicated to the sense called petrichor, the pleasant smell that accompanies the first rains.

CHAPTER 19 - Petrichor

Sakura joins Ino for lunch.

"Hey."

"Look who's here," Ino smirks at her. "The famous surgeon who made history."

Sakura chuckles. "Part of history," she corrects her. "This wasn't the first time this surgery was pulled off, and Dr. Orochimaru is the leading surgeon on the case."

Ino rolls her eyes. "Take the credit, Dr. Haruno!" she scolds.

"Fine, fine. Thank you, Dr. Yamanaka. Did Sai return to Kiri?"

Ino sighs suddenly. "Yes."

"You look depressed," Sakura remarks.

"I look sad," Ino corrects her semantics. "And that's because I feel sad."

Sakura rolls her eyes, and wonders for a moment whether Sai is rubbing off on everyone around here. It won't exactly be the worst thing, she supposes. Everyone needs one Sai in their lives, after all.

"You, on the other hand," Ino narrows her eyes and points the bright pink straw at Sakura, "are positively glowing."

She tries, she really does, but Sakura blushes up a storm in two seconds flat, and avoids Ino's critical stare as much as possible.

His smile pressed against her bare shoulder –

Her hands in his hair, pulling at it –

"Sakura," the almost growl –

"It's nothing!" Sakura says in a rush. "I'm fine."

Ino looks even more suspicious. "I know that you're fine. I can see that. But you're almost as pink as your hair right now. Something definitely happened."

Something is an understatement of the century, she thinks.

"It's nothing," Sakura insists. "I mean, okay, not nothing. But – just not right now."

"Wow," Ino stares. "Okay. Chill the fuck out."

Sakura levels a flat stare at her.

xXx

It's evening and Sakura is still at the hospital. She is sitting in the resident's lounge for a short break, rolling her neck, stretching out her limbs, hydrating, and trying not to –

"How did you get that?" he asks, pausing near her knees –

And Sakura traces his hipbone with light fingers –

"Don't stop," he –

Sakura groans loudly in the empty room, burying her face in her hands.

xXx

Sakura returns to her apartment in the middle of the night. She isn't sure whether to be disappointed or glad that she didn't see Itachi or Sasuke today.

She reheats the chicken in the microwave and sips on water until it's done. Sakura sits at her breakfast table with her plate of food and finally checks her phone.

There are two texts from Kakashi, one from Uncle Obito, and three from Itachi, one from Shizune, and 10 on her work group. She reads through the work related ones first – a reminder that Dr. Otsutsuki Kaguya – the founder of the Otsutsuki Medicine award, will be visiting the hospital next week, and there's going to be a function in her honor. Otsuksuki Medicine is the most prestigious award in their community. Sakura knows that her Chief, Dr. Senju Tsunade, has received three of them until now, and Dr. Orochimaru has received one.

Sakura doesn't know how to feel about the visit, though. She's never given it a thought before, never really wondered whether she wants to be aiming for the prestigious honour of the award. She should be, she thinks. As a part of the community, and as a doctor, maybe she should be. Although, if she's completely honest, Sakura believes that her highest privilege would be to someday assist Dr. Tsunade, and learn the ropes from her. Sakura wants to be a Chief of Surgery, and she wants to be the best one out there.

Kakashi has sent her, We need to talk, and after five minutes, About your neighbour, in case I'm not clear. Sakura snickers.

She opens Uncle Obito's text that reads Don't worry. Kakashi is just being protective. We love Itachi!

Sakura laughs outloud. Then she reads Shizune's message – a forwarded news article that wrote about the CABG she'd assisted Dr. Orochimaru with, and Oh my god, I'm so proud of you!

She's saved Itachi's texts for the last, and she finally opens them, smiling and nervous and tingly.

You should have waited for coffee.

I feel used.

Oh come on, are you avoiding me now? You're not even here for dinner.

Sakura starts to feel guilty. She hasn't been avoiding him, per se, but she could have checked her phone during the breaks and she decided not to – so maybe she's avoiding him just a little.

She locks her phone without replying him. It's the middle of the night, she tells herself. He wouldn't be awake right now, anyway.

xXx

Sakura is pacing a hole through her living room. It's a Sunday. Itachi and Sasuke are home. It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and she's been pacing for almost an hour now.

She woke up at around eleven, brushed, took a shower, ate a brunch meal with her usual coffee, and gave up on trying not to think about it.

Okay, so Sakura isn't a virgin. Of course, she isn't. She's dated before. Granted, her sex life hasn't exactly been noteworthy, but whenever she was dating, she has had an active one, at least. So yes, sex isn't the issue here. She's not worried about that bit.

Sex with Itachi, on the other hand …

Sakura can safely admit that it was as much of a drunken encounter as it was let's just do it because I can't take this anymore logic. And it was good. Great, in fact. Like really great.

But she did sneak out in the morning before Itachi woke up. And she isn't sure whether Sasuke heard them through the wall or not. They were drunk and not exactly quiet.

Sakura paces for another half an hour, drinks another cup of coffee just to do something, tries to read one of her medical books, and again gives up on trying not to think about it.

She bites her lip as his hand moves –

"Itachi –!"

He buries his face in her neck and she tightens her hold –

It's six thirty in the evening when there's a knock on her door. With heart pounding in her chest, she peeps through the hole, and again isn't sure whether to be glad or disappointed that it's Hinata on the other side.

"Long time," Hinata grins as she enters the apartment, carrying a brown paper bag. "I come bearing gifts."

They lay out the food on the breakfast table, and Hinata refuses alcohol. Sakura shrugs and takes a seat.

Hinata went to visit Neji in Iwa after the wedding. She returned two days ago, not wanting to keep the shop shut for such a long time. Temari and Shikamaru will be returning on the next day from their long honeymoon. Temari had mentioned that they might stay in Suna for a bit with her parents.

Hinata asks her about her holidays and Sakura sums it up for her. Then she asks how Neji is doing, and Hinata says that he might be moving to Suna to be with his boyfriend.

They make light conversation for a while, and then Hinata can't take it anymore, it seems, because she asks Sakura directly.

"What happened during the wedding?"

Sakura carefully masks her face, playing with her food with the fork. "What do you mean?"

Hinata doesn't budge. Simply stares kindly. "You and Itachi disappeared for a bit. And when you returned, you didn't look so good. You left the party as soon as Shika and Tema left, as if you didn't want to stay a second longer. What happened?"

Sakura bites her lip and shrugs. "Just … stuff."

"Sakura," Hinata says patiently, "you can tell me. I know that things have been strange between you and Itachi. Everyone has noticed. We just didn't want to say anything at that time."

"You did?"

"Of course. We're not blind."

And Sakura thinks back to all the times that could warrant their friends' suspicions. It could have been the Bachelor-n-ette party, perhaps, when they were dancing at the club.

"I don't know what's happening," Sakura admits shyly. She has never spoken about her feelings for Itachi with anyone before, and breaking down in front of her fathers doesn't count, so she has no idea what to even say or where to even begin.

"Do you like him?" Hinata prods gently.

Sakura almost laughs at that. Like him? If liking him means to constantly think about him, wanting to be with him as much as possible, missing him when he visits his hometown to the point of it being physically painful, being content just to be sitting by his side, listening to him speak about everything from routine and mundane complaints to the wonders of Mount Everest, to looking at the stars and thinking he's made of star stuff because it's fitting, to wanting to be the person he can call home –

When Sakura was ten years old, she asked Kakashi and Uncle Obito, "Dad, why are you two not married like the rest of the couples?"

Uncle Obito choked on his water, and Kakashi thumped him on the back, smiling sheepishly at her. "We're not a couple, doll."

"But you two are living together and raising a daughter. You don't have partners of your own. That's a very couple like thing to do."

"Even friends can do that," Uncle Obito reassured her.

"Oh. So you two are just friends?"

Kakashi rubbed his nose. "Yes. Although, I wouldn't just say that."

Sakura frowned at him with disapproval. She'd seen those looks. Did they think that she never noticed? "Then what would you say?"

"He's my home. Just like you are."

Family, she always justified in her head, and never questioned him directly again, until Christmas Eve when she asked Kakashi have you never been in love?

"I wouldn't just say that," she repeats Kakashi's words to Hinata, and doesn't offer more.

Hinata doesn't push on it. Instead, she asks, "Are things okay now?"

And Sakura thinks –

She woke up before him with her face against his neck. Their legs were tangled together, and his arms were secured around her.

"I don't know," she answers honestly. "I'm sort of avoiding him."

Hinata's eyebrows shoot up with surprise. "I thought you guys celebrated the interview? Naruto told me. He said you were there."

"I was," Sakura says awkwardly. "Something happened after that."

Hinata's eyebrows rise even further. "Oh?"

"So yeah, I'm sort of avoiding him," Sakura says in a rush. "I don't know what to do now. Nothing has changed, has it? The circumstances are still the same as they were, and they're going to be the same tomorrow and the next day and the next."

"Sakura, what happened?"

And then Sakura can't hold it back, because Hinata looks genuinely worried, and she is the person who told her that being a doctor is about having a strong spirit as well. Hinata hasn't moved on from Kiba, because she isn't sure herself, because she has the tiny hope – still – that Kiba might return to her.

Sakura ends up spilling her guts. She tells her that Itachi will leave one day, and she isn't sure what that would mean, what she wants it to mean. She tells her that waiting for him to return might sound good in theory but she can't imagine it being practical. She doesn't go into explicit details – just the gist of the issue that has been plaguing her – because the rest is just too personal, just too Itachi, and she doesn't want to share him with anyone else.

Hinata listens to her patiently, and waits until she's done speaking.

"How long will you avoid him for?" she asks directly.

"I don't know," Sakura answers, feeling small.

"I think that you should speak with him as soon as possible," she says bluntly. "You're hiding, Sakura. It's unbecoming of you."

"I don't think that I'm ready for it just yet," Sakura defends.

Hinata heaves a long sigh. "But you said that he might leave, and you don't know when that would be. Don't you think that time is of essence here? I don't mean to push you, I really don't, but you will regret not sorting this through in time. I understand that you don't want to wait around forever, and maybe he feels the same? You should find out. You won't know what to do until you understand what he wants, too."

And Sakura knows that Hinata is right, realises that she hasn't given Itachi the chance to explain what his expectations are. Their conversation on the wedding night only established that Itachi doesn't want to stay her friend, might leave one day, and Sakura doesn't want to.

You never really told me how you feel.

Shit.

xXx

As soon as Hinata leaves, Sakura gears up her mind. She shoots a quick text to Itachi. Can you meet me outside?

He replies ten minutes later. Sure. I'll be down in twenty.

Sakura spends the time checking her appearance in the mirror, pacing some more, playing around with her phone, before finally going outside the apartment building to wait for him.

It's nine thiry, not that late, so there are still people on the streets, cars on the roads. When Itachi steps out of the main lobby, Sakura is leaning against her car that is parked nearby. He's dressed in a pair of dark denim pants, a black hood, and a dark green jacket over it. He's wearing his glasses tonight, and his hair is tied in a messy bun in the back. Even with all the layers on him, Sakura thinks about the smattering of freckles between his shoulder blades, the smooth panes of his abdomen, and how the back of his knees is very ticklish.

Itachi approaches her with visible apprehension, and Sakura feels guilty to have avoided him without an explanation.

"You up for a car ride?" she asks when he reaches her.

He isn't smirking or scowling, or looking irritated. Instead, he shrugs lightly, as though none of this matters to him, as though he's already accepted that Sakura doesn't have anything nice to say, and he'll just have to roll with it.

Sakura realises yet again that she really took him for granted, that she really did not treat him well. And it hurts.

They drive in tense, awkward silence. Sakura parks in one of the many empty spots, and steps out. Itachi follows quietly.

They're at the pier, the one that Sasuke loves. Sakura used to visit it sometimes, while growing up, but the visits dwindled eventually, and then she didn't have any reason to come anymore. There are hardly any people present, and Sakura leads him to a quiet corner, to lean against the railing and watch the ocean under the night sky.

She allows the sound of the water to take up space between them, until she has gathered her thoughts enough to speak coherently.

"I'm sorry," she begins and turns to Itachi. He doesn't face her, though. So Sakura talks to his side profile. "For leaving in the morning without saying anything. You deserve better than that."

Silence. He doesn't even look at her. His jaw is clenched, and Sakura realises finally that he's angry with her.

"And I'm sorry for leaving the wedding in a hurry, too. But I needed some time, some space to think. When you said all those things … I couldn't accept it. I felt like I didn't deserve them."

Now, he frowns, so Sakura at least knows that he's listening.

"I always thought that being like everyone else around me will make me happier. That if I blend in, I won't feel so alone as I did in school and college. And when you said all that, you made me sound like someone I didn't even know existed. You made me sound so wonderful, I didn't know what to do with it. I mean, here I was, trying to fit in, and you basically stripped me down naked."

Itachi finally turns still sporting the frown. Sakura takes that as encouragement.

"After you left, I worked through it. I reached a point where I could accept myself the way I was, the way you made me sound, because I wanted to deserve it. I wanted it to be all true, what you said."

She takes a deep, steadying breath, and lets it out slowly. Speaking her mind is harder than she'd expected it to be, and realises – yet again – that Itachi had done this, and she had run away.

"But … it still doesn't change the fact that you will leave."

Itachi stares at her, hard and deep. Finally, he asks, "What do you want, Sakura?"

She bites her lip. "I want … you. I want to be with you. I don't want to stay your friend, either." And now that she's saying it, she can't stop, the words spilling out of her hurriedly, as though they've been waiting a long time for this moment and now that it's here –

"Itachi, you're my best friend, the one I want to tell all my secrets to, the one I want to come home to after a long day. I know that it's not possible. And I thought that it will change my mind. That I wouldn't entertain the idea of being with you, if I don't get to do that. But I've realised that it doesn't matter. I want you to chase everything that you've ever wanted in life. I want you to be happy. And I also want to be there when you come home, because I want to listen to all the stories, all the wonders of the world. I want to sit with you on the roof at night and hear about your visits to all the places. I want to be someone you can come back for.

"I know that you won't leave tomorrow. That we have tonight, at the very least, and I wouldn't want anything else but to be spending it with you, doing whatever.

"You said that I helped you in realising your dreams from childhood. So how can I stand in the way of that? That would be awfully ironic. And not just that – you showed me that there is nothing wrong to be yourself, even if that means being set apart from others. It just means that you're meant to be set apart, that you're meant to stand out.

"I want you," she repeats. "I don't know whether you want the same because I didn't exactly give you a chance to explain –"

She doesn't get to finish because he's kissing her then, stealing the words from her mouth before they can be formed.

"I want it," he mumbles against her lips. "All of it. What you said."

"You do?" she smiles.

"Yes." He kisses her again.

Now, one last chapter to go. It'll be up soon. Please review! :)