Harry Potter and the Puppetmaster of Hogwarts, Chapter 4

Harry paced the Shrieking Shack, scuffling the thick layer of dust with his boots as he waited, wondering how to phrase his concerns. One doesn't generally say "I'm worried that the headmaster of an upstanding scholastic institution is slipping me loyalty potions, due to the fact I just saw him using illegal mind-control spells on one of his staff members"; he would have to play it by ear.

By the first half-hour, he was starting to worry. Why was Sirius late? Had he been captured? What if he didn't want to come? What if... Gradually, his worried speculations began to grow more extravagant. Had Dumbledore somehow found out what he knew, and laid a trap? What if Sirius had been attacked by Death Eaters? Or ran across a rogue dementor? Or gotten hit by a lorry? And then, in the distance, he heard a loud, sonorous bark. There was the thud of the Whomping Willow passage closing, and the scuffle of paws, and all at once he found himself flat on his back on the splintery wood, with a large, shaggy black dog panting in his face.

Sirius. Harry was so relieved that he didn't even mind the dog breath. He came!

"Alright, off," Harry said at last, breathless with laughter. Sirius reluctantly jumped off of him, blunted claws scratching Harry's arm as he did so. Harry sat up, rubbing his arm, but before he could completely get control of himself, a now-transformed Sirius Black pulled him into a hug. Harry's grin widened exponentially; melting into the embrace, feeling the pounding of Sirius's heart. After a long moment, his godfather pulled away.

"So what is it, pup? I assume you had a reason for wanting to talk to me, besides just that you miss me. Did you get a girlfriend? Do you need The Talk?"

Harry blushed violently. "No, nothing like that you old dog!"

Sirius burst out laughing. "Your face," he said when he had somewhat calmed down. "But seriously, what's going on? Wait, is it Umbridge? Is she giving you problems?" His face was feral at the thought.

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But what?"

Harry hesitated. "Can you cast a silencing charm? Or maybe some anti-spying charms? Umbridge is already reading our mail, and she really hates me. I wouldn't be surprised if she cast an eavesdropping charm on me..."Harry half-lied.

"Absolutely," Sirius drew the second-hand wand Dung Fletcher had found for him in an odds and ends shop in Knock Turn Alley. Raising it, he swished it in a complicated motion, muttering a little Latin. Harry felt a tingle run across his skin, and yelped. Sirius looked grim.

"Definitely an eavesdropping charm. I wonder what else is on you?" Sirius broke it quickly. "You mind if I check to make sure you don't have anything else on you? If she's willing to breach your privacy like that..."

"Sure. But do the silencing charms first. And check to see if there are any spying charms on you or the Shack, will you?"

"Me? But I haven't been anywhere near Umbridge."

"Just do it, please; you can never be too careful," Harry told him. Sirius grumbled, but began to check. The annoyance was wiped off of his face when he checked himself. "You're right, pup," he said, breaking the spell with a few quick passes of his wand. "But who could have cast it?"

Harry watched the puzzled ex-auror steadily. "Cast the anti-eavesdropping spells, please."

Sensing the gravity in Harry's tone, Sirius did so at once. As soon as he felt the magic washing over him, Harry relaxed.

"Ok, we're good," Sirius said, after casting a few more auror-level spells. "So now are you going to tell me what all this is about?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Well, not all of this is about Umbridge. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's a sadistic nutcase, but she's not actually the biggest problem I have right now. Before I go on, is there any way to check for compulsions or loyalty spells or something?"

A pause. Sirius blinked at him in the half-light. "Of course," he said finally. "As a matter of fact, my dear mum specialized in mind-manipulation. I kind of had to get good at it." Raising his new wand again, he cast...and started cursing violently. "You have five,' he said flatly.

"Five compulsions?!" Harry asked, horrified. He'd definitely expected at least one, but five?

"Four compulsions: one looks like a impulsiveness enhancement, one makes you tell the truth, one's a 'friendship' compulsion, not that you can make friendship with magic, and one looks like a modified revulsion charm,' said Sirius in a clinical tone, which didn't completely mask the anger fuming under the surface. "And then there's a loyalty charm."

Harry looked at him for a few seconds and then let out a string of curse words that Dudley would be in awe of. "That miserable, manipulative conniving bastard!" He spat, as Sirius began work to destroy the spells. "I swear I will tie him to a street lamp by his hair and then leave him for the Death Munchers!"

"Harry," Sirius began, "You know who's doing it?"

"I think so," said Harry grimly, wincing as one of the counter-spells stung him. "Although one of his pets is probably doing the dirty work. You should probably check yourself, too."

Sirius finished destroying and disrupting the spells on Harry, and then turned his wand on himself. His own cussing was very impressive. "Two revulsion charms, two loyalty compulsions, a blatant willfull ignorance charm keyed to you, and a compulsion to think of you as James," he hissed when he could speak. "And a compulsion to not accept my inheritance.I will KILL whoever did that! No one does that and gets away with it!"

Harry stared at him, nearly choking with rage. He was definitely in agreement. "It's Dumbledore," he said at last, as Sirius finished destroying the compulsions on himself. Sirius was so shocked that he actually dropped his wand.

"What?!"

"I said it's Dumbledore. At least I think," Harry confided. "I caught him using Unforgivables on Professor Snape."

Sirius stared at him. "You're joking."

"Unfortunately, I'm not," Harry said. "I didn't catch all the spells he used, but, he crucioed him and then obliviated him. And imperiused him severely."

Sirius nearly dropped his wand. "Merlin," he said faintly. "I never thought I'd be sorry for Snape." A pause. "I don't know what to say."

"Um, I need your help. First of all I need to learn how to break compulsions and check for psychetropic potions in my food, then I need to figure out how to break the spells on Snape and get him out from under Dumbledore's thumb. Then I want revenge. I was already really mad at him for several things, and now I learn he's as bad as Voldie, and I want to make him pay. It wouldn't hurt if I could get revenge on Umbridge was I was doing it. She makes me write lines with what I recently learned was an illegal blood contract quill." (Sirius snarled) "Actually, if we could make the entire Ministry see that Voldie is back, and that you're innocent while we're at it, I think everything would be perfect! Then all we'd need to deal with is Voldie himself."

Sirius studied the cobwebby rafters of the Shrieking Shack, deep in thought, seemingly trying to come to terms with the revelations of the past hour. Then, finally, he refocused, a manic grin spreading all over his face. "So Harry," he began, that terrifying smile growing, if possible, wider, "What do you think about playing the world's greatest prank?"