Hi all!

Thanks for your patience over the last few...weeks? Months? However long it's been since updates have been a bit thin on the ground. I honestly can't remember. Wait, what day is it?

Anyway, I'm finally heading home soon, and I'm hoping that will give me a bit more time to spend on my stories, so hopefully sometime soon my chapters will start coming a bit more regularly.

In the meantime, here is a nice chunky chapter!

Thanks as always to JaneyGWF for the beta service!

Two hours later, Jane was sitting on the roof of BPD, swinging her legs over the edge of the building. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the fresh air was doing wonders for her after all the time she had spent cooped up in a hospital room recently.

She had been sitting in the same spot for around fifteen minutes. Frankie had graciously driven her to all her requested locations, including the one place he'd been avoiding for months. He hadn't asked any questions, realising who Jane was gathering things for and not wanting to know any details. He had simply dropped Jane off at the back entrance to the building and exacted a promise from his sister to call him when she got home later that day, to reassure him that she hadn't disappeared or gotten hurt again.

Jane smiled as she remembered his brotherly concern. They had been depending on each other a lot more since their mother died, and she was grateful for his presence in her life. Tommy and their father had tried to stay in contact as well, but Jane just wasn't as close to them as she was to Frankie.

As Jane leaned over the edge to look at her dangling feet, she heard a tell-tale whoosh behind her and felt a firm grip around her good shoulder.

Maura's voice was slightly panicked. "What are you doing?"

Jane puffed out a heavy breath, her heart racing at Maura's sudden appearance. "Geez! Again, we need to put a bell on you!"

Maura didn't release the iron grip she had on Jane's arm until her feet were firmly planted on the roof several paces from the edge. Jane smiled a bit at how worried Maura was for her safety. "Maura, relax, I was just enjoying the view."

Maura looked equal parts irritated and worried. "Jane, what if you'd fallen? What if I hadn't seen you?"

Jane put a reassuring hand on Maura's shoulder, realising just how much she'd managed to scare her. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't sit on tall objects without your prior approval in the future. Okay?"

The fact that Maura didn't roll her eyes or huff told Jane just how much she needed to mean that promise.

Jane's grin faded immediately. "Hey, Maura, come on. I wasn't in any real danger: my balance isn't that bad."

Maura's face softened slightly, finally realising that Jane hadn't been deliberately flirting with death. Jane decided to try to lighten the mood.

"Okay, we're going on a little trip. Can you grab my bag?"

Jane pointed to a duffel bag that was still next to the edge of the building. Maura looked at it doubtfully before shifting a questioning look back to Jane.

Jane sighed, realising she had a lot of work to do. "Please trust me? And go with me on this?"

Maura frowned. "I should be getting back to my circuit. I explained this Jane, I need to protect people."

Jane crossed her arms awkwardly, her damaged arm still not sitting quite right. "Okay, answer me this. Do you know of any criminal activity that is supposed to be happening in the next four hours?"

Maura squirmed slightly, seeing instantly where Jane was going with this. "No, but…"

Jane cut her off. "And what is the statistical likelihood of someone getting randomly attacked during daylight hours, especially considering the recent drop in crime?"

Maura was looking at the ground again. "Statistical likelihoods don't translate to real events. Just because it's extremely unlikely for a random act of violence to occur doesn't mean one won't happen."

Jane rolled her eyes at the transparent attempt to avoid answering the question. "So, the chance of something happening that you could predict and help avoid is….?"

Maura slumped her shoulders in defeat. "That's beside the point."

Jane's tone softened immediately. "Like I said Maura, you can't help everyone. You aren't all powerful, you aren't psychic, or at least not that kind of psychic. You can't save everyone, and it's not your job to try."

Maura remained silent, clearly not wanting to continue the conversation.

Jane sighed again and went to retrieve the duffel bag. As she reached for the bag she heard Maura move, and the bag disappeared.

Jane turned back to see Maura reluctantly holding the bag. "Alright Jane, where are we going?"

Jane couldn't help smiling when she finally got her way. "You are taking me somewhere new. Somewhere I haven't been before. Some place you've found while you've been wandering around in the forest that no human has ever seen before. Some place you've been dying to show me."

Jane could tell by the contemplative look on Maura's face that there was definitely such a place. Instead of waiting for an answer Jane held out her arms and waited for Maura to turn around to let her climb aboard.

Maura was obviously fighting with herself over whether to let Jane distract her from her mission. She clearly wanted to go with Jane, but her guilt was trying to overpower her own wishes. Jane didn't back down, resolutely meeting Maura's unsure dark eyes.

Finally Maura gave in. She quickly spun around, allowing Jane to carefully jump into position, before walking to the edge she had pulled Jane away from.

Jane could feel Maura hesitate again before she stepped up onto the edge. "Ready?"

Jane nodded and tucked her head in next to Maura's. The next thing she felt was extreme acceleration as Maura jumped from the roof, her sure feet finding the next roof and moving on without pause.

The experience of speeding through the city in daylight was very different to their previous night outings. Jane could see just how close all the buildings were, how fast they were moving, how near to disaster they seemed to be at every moment. But she wasn't afraid, because she suddenly realised she trusted Maura completely.

Since she had woken up in the hospital, Jane had tried her best to banish all doubt from her mind, but there had been lingering doubts. Like Maura she logically understood there was nothing that either of them could have done differently, but she had still watched Maura end her mother's life, and that feeling of unease had taken time to dissipate. She still didn't completely believe, right down to her bones, that Maura was innocent in the whole affair.

Seeing how much Maura was still hurting over her part in the events seemed to have melted the last shred of doubt in Jane's mind and heart. She wasn't faking being comfortable around Maura anymore; she truly was completely at ease and trusted her entirely. She couldn't help letting out an excited yell at her realisation.

Jane could swear she felt Maura smile a little bit at the sound.

They soon left the city limits, roads and houses giving way to rough brush and trees.

Just as Jane's arm was starting to get tired, Maura slowed. They were in a tiny clearing, the trees around them still dense enough to block out the sunlight. She walked a few more paces before coming to a stop, releasing Jane's legs and spinning to support her weight until Jane got her bearings.

After a few minutes, Jane recovered enough to stand unassisted. She indicated Maura should put the bag down, shooing her away before opening it. Maura obeyed with a raised eyebrow, clearly curious about Jane's antics, but not curious enough to start prying for information.

Jane rummaged in the bag, finally pulling out several garments. She held them out to Maura with a flourish. "Ta-da! I thought we'd start by getting you out of those ninja clothes for a change. I don't know about you, but I think there's only so much black even you can pull off."

Maura frowned before taking the clothes from Jane. She frowned further as she sniffed the items. "Jane, these are my clothes! How?"

Jane shrugged. "I still have a key. Nobody has really been to your house in months, so everything was still there."

Maura stared at the clothes, a stunned expression on her face. Jane felt guilty for how long it had taken her to do this.

Clearing her throat, Jane tried to keep her tone light. "Come on, get changed. Nobody can see you out here, so it's time to just be yourself."

Maura couldn't seem to help the little smile that flashed across her face. She walked away behind a nearby tree to change, leaving Jane feeling relieved. She hadn't been completely sure how Maura would react to the reminder of her old life, but she had hoped for this response.

Within seconds Maura stepped back into view. Jane couldn't help the huge grin that spread across her face at the sight of her friend looking like her old self again, from the bottoms of her designer shoes through the stylish slacks and tailored vest to her timid smile. Maura stopped a few feet from Jane, raising an eyebrow as if to say 'well?'

Jane simply nodded and smiled even wider.

The smile stayed on Maura's face for a few more seconds before her eyes dropped and her expression faded into a wistful sadness. She seemed lost in thought for a moment, before her eyes snapped back up to meet Jane's, a forcibly cheerful expression back on her face.

Before Jane could react, Maura was next to her with a guiding hand on her good arm. "Okay Jane, now close your eyes. I'll guide you."

Jane contemplated arguing, feeling like they needed to talk about Maura's lingering hesitation, but decided to go along with the big reveal first and see if she could segue into a conversation from there. She closed her eyes and followed the gentle pull on her arm, carefully placing her feet as they moved through the trees.

Jane felt the moment they moved out of the trees. The space around her suddenly felt huge, and she instinctively twisted her arm to hold onto Maura's hand for stability.

Maura's voice was gentle and soothing. "It's okay Jane, just a few more steps. Trust me."

Jane nodded and relaxed, following the guiding arm again. After a few more steps she felt Maura stop and move around behind her, the sure hands that were guiding her never wavering.

Maura's voice came from right next to Jane's ear. "I've got you. Now open your eyes."

Jane couldn't help the gasp that escaped her at the sight before her. It was fortunate that Maura had a firm grip on her, because her knees almost gave out.

She was standing on the edge of a towering cliff several hundred feet high. The sun was shining brightly, illuminating a gorgeous valley that snaked away beneath her feet. Majestic mountains ringed the gorge, with thousands of trees packed on to each slope making the landscape look like a vibrant green carpet. A river ran at the nadir, meandering its way through the forest from its waterfall source to where Jane could just make out a vast lake shimmering in the distance.

Jane felt Maura move around to her side, her iron grip still steadying Jane's shaky stance. Jane glanced at her friend to finally see a real smile shining back at her. Jane was momentarily dazzled by Maura's shimmering skin, but for some reason it didn't seem odd any more. It seemed right.

Instead of lingering over her change of perception, she simply squeezed Maura's hand and smiled wider in exhilaration.

They both looked back at the vista, content to share the experience in comfortable silence.

Jane felt her heart fill with joy as she cast her eyes over the stunning landscape again. She had seen photos of similarly picturesque locations, but it didn't come close to the experience of seeing it in person. Standing above this scene she felt an amazing sensation of being above and removed from the world, but the secure grip of her best friend grounded her, allowing her to revel in the feeling of freedom and majesty she was thrilled to feel.

After a few minutes, Maura pointed out movement at the river. Jane was amazed to see eagles circling, their smooth flight paths merging harmoniously over the rippling water. They watched in awe as one of the birds spotted its prey, tucked its wings in tight and disappeared from view. Jane's eyes were too human to pick out any other animals from this distance, but she could hear calls from many different creatures echoing through the valley over the whisper of the trees moving in the wind, the sounds mingling into a symphony of nature that was more immersive than any man-made music.

After what felt like hours of staring at the beautiful view, Jane finally tugged at Maura's hand, moving them back from the precipice. She still felt a little breathless; this outing had been an amazing experience. The genuine smile hadn't left Maura's face, and Jane suspected that she had been swept up in the contagious excitement that Jane couldn't help showing.

Maura guided Jane to a convenient patch of grass a few metres away from the cliff, carefully setting Jane down before letting go of her. Jane realised how shaky her limbs were as soon as she had tried to move back from the edge, so was grateful for the support.

Maura disappeared for a moment before returning with Jane's bag. She handed it to Jane before stepping back a few paces, her expression neutral again.

Jane decided to explain the plan for the afternoon. "Okay, so I was thinking we should try to get you back into some of your old routines, stuff you used to enjoy. Step one was the clothes, step two is….movies!"

Jane pulled out a brand new portable DVD player with a flourish and an expectant grin, wiggling the player in Maura's direction when the expression on her shimmering face didn't change.

This reaction wasn't really what Jane had been expecting. She had thought Maura would either give in and enjoy a movie with her, just like old times, or she would get angry and they could talk through what Maura was feeling, hopefully coming to some sort of resolution. Unfortunately, Maura hadn't really reacted at all, which meant Jane was unsure as to how to proceed.

Maura seemed to sense her hesitation after a few seconds and took pity on her, taking the player and setting it aside before settling on the ground next to Jane.

Jane's trepidation grew when Maura sighed before starting to speak. "Jane, I know you're trying to help, but I need you to listen to me. I need you to stop trying so hard."

Jane couldn't help the confused look that spread over her face. "It's just a movie and some clothes, Maura."

Maura closed her eyes in frustration. "I don't just mean this outing Jane. I need you to stop trying to fix me. It's not what I want, or need. It's actually making me feel worse."

Jane's confusion only deepened. She didn't think she was trying to fix anything, only to help Maura feel more like her old self.

Maura sighed again. "Okay. Remember when this first happened? We were completely out of our depth, we had no idea what was going on, and we just wanted to keep everyone safe. We both tried to act as if nothing had changed with me, both because we had the threat of the Volturi hanging over us and because it was easier than admitting I had changed.

"It worked for a while. I went back to work, you fixed up my house so I could still live there, and we had a cover story that everyone had accepted. It almost felt like we were back to normal. I still didn't feel like myself, but we were muddling through.

"Then the Volturi came back. The mob deaths happened. We knew we were in trouble, we knew something was about to happen involving vampires, but we kept pretending we could just keep acting like nothing had changed.

"You know what the outcome of our complacency was. I wasn't ready. I was denying my true nature. You were pretending I was still the same. And your mother was the tragic result."

Jane looked miserable at this point in Maura's recap. She knew all of this, and although she couldn't argue with Maura's words she didn't like where this seemed to be heading.

Maura pushed on before Jane could interrupt. "Now we both know I can never go back to my old life. I think you've acknowledged that, you accept I'll never be the Chief Medical Examiner again. But you haven't stopped trying to make me the person I used to be. And that's the problem Jane. I'm not the same. I've had to change to adapt to the circumstances I find myself in, and it's impossible for me to change back. I don't want to change back. The old me isn't suited for this life."

Jane couldn't hold in her protests, grabbing Maura's arm to emphasise her words. "But you are still the same. You may have super powers and a new diet, but you're still you. You still care about me, you feel guilty, you feel sad, you feel happy when you wear your fancy clothes, you look out for people, you're still the same caring person you've always been! I'm just trying to help you see that! I can't stand to see you so sad and lonely."

Jane's voice rasped to a halt, her emotions closing her throat as she looked into her friend's glittering eyes, desperately trying to convey the depth of her belief.

Maura patted Jane's hand understandingly. "Jane, I need you to try to understand. Everything you've said is true, but you're wrong about me being the same."

In a move too fast for Jane's eyes to follow, Maura stood up and walked a few metres away, tilting her face towards the afternoon sun and spreading her arms to catch the light. Jane couldn't help a slight smile at the sight; her friend looked so beautiful and free for just a moment. However as Maura turned back to face her, holding her hands out to emphasise the supernatural glow of her skin, Jane could see the sadness that permeated every inch of her being. Jane understood the subtle point Maura was making; her physical self was very different, even if it looked the same superficially. Jane frowned as she realised the same argument could be made for Maura's emotional and mental self.

Maura scrutinised Jane's expression for a moment before starting again. "Think about everything that you strive for in life. Your job, your family, your friendships, your dog, your sports, everything. What gives it all meaning? Why do you do what you do?"

Jane wasn't expecting such a deep question. "Uh, I guess because it's important to me. I care about them, I want to protect them, I like being around them. I do stuff I enjoy. And the job, I do that to make a difference."

Maura nodded. "And the thing that makes all of that have meaning is the fact that you have a limited amount of time, and you've chosen to spend it on things that are important to you. Protecting people has meaning because it could come at the cost of your own safety. Spending time with people has meaning because they want to spend precious time with you, and you can never be sure if something might happen to them at any moment. You could lose them at any moment. You could die at any moment."

Maura looked up at the sun again before moving back to Jane and kneeling in front of her. "I don't have that any more, Jane. I'm never going to die of natural causes, I may never die at all. I won't ever run out of time. If I don't accomplish something this year, it can wait until next year. Or next decade. It doesn't matter. Nothing I used to value matters anymore."

Maura grabbed Jane's hand. "Except the people I love. You will all be here for a limited amount of time. Your lives still have value. And I want to do everything I can to protect you. To make sure you have as much time as possible to accomplish everything you want to."

Maura sat back, putting some distance between herself and Jane. "But I can't pretend that I still see the world the same. I can't relate to you all the way I used to. I need to try to understand how to find meaning in my existence without the constraints that have been a fundamental part of my being for my entire life. And I need you to stop trying to turn back the clock and pretend I'm the same person that you befriended. If you still want to be my friend, I need you to help me figure out how to exist as I am, not as what I used to be."

Maura leaned forward, her gaze looking deep into Jane's eyes. "Can you understand? Do you see why we can't keep going the way we have been?"

Jane nodded reluctantly. "I guess I get it. Taking mortality off the table would change how you see things. But, what does that mean? Do you want to stop spending time together? Because I don't see how you being alone helps you figure anything out. I mean you've been mostly alone for months and it doesn't sound like you've got it figured out."

Maura nodded. "You're right, I don't have much figured out yet. Really all I've figured out is what I can't do, and that's pretend I'm still human. But I still want to be around you, Jane. As far as I'm concerned I'm still your friend, and I always will be. And now that I know Hope knows about me, I'll see if there is any possibility of a closer relationship. If everything goes to plan tonight, I might also be able to spend some time with my mother. Maybe someday Frankie might be able to be around me."

Jane frowned, displeased with the direction of Maura's thoughts. "It still sounds like you think you don't matter. Like your feelings, what you want, what you do, doesn't matter."

Maura just shrugged lightly, her expression dismissive. "I don't, not really. Not the way I used to. I don't belong in the world anymore, and I've accepted that."

Jane bristled immediately. "Maura, I can accept that you aren't who you used to be, but that attitude has to stop. Just because you haven't been able to see people doesn't mean you aren't missed. Frankie might be uneasy about everything, but I know he still wonders about you. Your mothers have spent the last few months trying to clear your name because they want you to be okay. Even Paddy has been trying to look out for you. Susie Chang has been walking around the morgue like a zombie ever since you left. Don't you dare think that you don't matter!"

Maura looked surprised, and was rendered speechless by Jane's impassioned exclamation. Jane pressed her advantage. "Maura, you've managed to make a huge difference. You've saved countless people, between stopping the mob war, ending the Volturi threat and your vigilantism, Boston has never been safer. And you've managed to do it without expecting any reward, or praise, or even letting people know who is responsible."

Jane grabbed Maura's hand. "But you have to look after yourself too. You might have different needs now, but they still exist. You need to make time to talk to people, to see the good results of your actions, to live your own life. There's no point in protecting everyone if you can't connect with anyone. We still love you, and we still want to see you, and I think you feel the same. You might be burying that feeling under your guilt and fear, but I think it's there. I don't think you want to be alone."

Jane saw that Maura was listening and sighed, her voice losing its edge as she continued. "Now, I promise I'll stop trying to fix you if you promise to stop pulling away. You need to stop being a shadow on the sidelines, just watching the world go past you. You need to get past your fear and be a part of things. Can you do that?"

Maura nodded, the barest tinges of hope lightening her expression and dislodging the deep sadness that had been clouding her face all day.

Jane smiled widely, relieved to have gotten through to Maura. This tendency to put others first had always been a prominent part of Maura's personality, and it had always been difficult to make Maura see when she was sacrificing too much. Jane suspected this wouldn't be the last time they had this conversation, but it was a start.

Maura was still looking stunned, so Jane tugged on her arm to get her to sit next to her. Maura silently obeyed, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them defensively as she mulled over everything Jane had said. The pair gazed out at the view, which was still breathtaking no matter how long they stared at it, and tried to process everything they had just discussed.

After around half an hour of comfortable contemplative silence, Jane glanced over at Maura, realising they would have to leave soon to make it back to Boston in time for their meeting with Constance and Hope. As she was about to speak she noticed something odd on the back of Maura's shoulder.

Frowning, Jane awkwardly manoeuvred herself onto her knees and leaned over to get a better look. Maura realised Jane had moved and looked at her questioningly for a moment, before realising what Jane was looking at and flitting away several metres. The expression on her face was somewhere between shame, embarrassment and avoidance, which had Jane instantly worried.

She stood up, moving towards Maura purposefully. "Maura, what is that mark on your shoulder?"

Maura looked at the ground, her arms crossing defensively in front of her. "Nothing you need to worry about Jane, I'm fine."

Jane kept moving, not stopping until she was right next to her stubborn friend. "Let me see, please? Come on Maura, we just agreed that you were going to stop pulling away."

Maura looked into Jane's eyes, seeing the resolve that could easily give way to hurt if she avoided sharing this. Maura caved instantly, despite her reservations. Wordlessly she turned, allowing Jane access to shift her vest out of the way and inspect the marks on her shoulder.

Jane couldn't hold in the shocked gasp. There were three distinct bite marks on Maura's skin, the white marks standing out offensively in the bright sunlight. Between the marks there were two bullet holes in Maura's flawless skin. Cracks emanated out from the holes, the tendrils snaking their way across Maura's back until they terminated at the bite marks or disappeared under her clothes.

Jane carefully touched the bite marks, her fingers feeling the slight imperfections in the surface. "How did this happen?"

Maura ducked her head. "It was during the fight with the Volturi. After I saw you at the start of the raid, I was taken by surprise by Jane and the other two. I think Jane was trying to rip my arm off, but I managed to get out of her grip before she succeeded. That was when she threw me across the room, and I landed in front of you."

Jane's fingers moved over the bullet holes. "And these? Who shot you?"

Maura pulled away slightly, her shoulders slumping. "You did. Those bullets never worked themselves out."

Jane pulled her hand back like it had been burned. "You mean you've had bullets stuck in your back for months? Doesn't that hurt? God, I'm so sorry Maura!"

Maura spun around, her expression pained. "No, they don't hurt, don't be sorry! I can just feel them there, it doesn't matter! I didn't want you to feel bad, that's why I didn't tell you."

Jane closed her eyes in frustration, momentarily overtaken by the unfairness of the whole situation. It was completely wrong that there should have ever been a situation where she would have to shoot her best friend, and it was even more wrong that said friend would be the one feeling guilty about it now.

Jane grabbed Maura's hands, finding her distressed gaze and using the calmest voice she could manage. "Of course it matters. I do feel bad for shooting at you, just like you feel bad for everything that led up to me shooting at you. But it's all in the past. We have to move on from it. We have to let each other help. We need to deal with things together. Okay?"

Maura nodded, but her eyes dropped, her remorse and hesitance still clear on her face. Jane realised something else. "You still feel like you deserve to carry these reminders around, don't you? It's another part of your penance."

Jane knew she had it right from the look on Maura's face. "Well, since I was the one who put them there, my forgiveness should be enough to tell you it's time for them to come out. Do you believe that I forgive you?"

Maura's eyes shot up, her gaze unsure as it met Jane's. She looked at Jane's expression for what felt like ages, before she finally softened. "Yes, I do believe you. I don't know why you forgive me, but you do."

Jane nodded in response, a small smile finding its way onto her face. "Okay, now how about we go back to my house. I've got some tools there we can use to dig the bullets out."

That got a small relieved smile from Maura. Jane could see that the bullets had been bothering her more than she was letting on, probably both emotionally and physically. "Maura, this is the sort of thing I'm talking about. You can't keep things from me because you think it might hurt my feelings. I want to be here for you, to help you. I know I can't do much to help you anymore, I certainly can't protect you, but I can help with this sort of thing. And I'll always listen to you. I'll try to understand."

Maura smiled gratefully. She quickly moved to gather their things, repacking Jane's bag quickly. With a wistful look she picked up her black clothes, ducking behind a tree before emerging, fully covered again. Jane was saddened to see her friend back in the clothes she used to hide from the world, but she had hope that maybe she might be able to get her out of hiding sometime in the near future.

Without needing to discuss it, Jane climbed onto Maura's back, and they sped off towards Boston.

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