Hey guys, DragonFlameShuriken here.

I know I have disappeared for a long time and haven't showed up. That I seemed to have gone radio silence. I'm still here, and faring alright given the circumstances of this year. I will be honest; I have considered leaving this account and starting a new one on a different platform. I did recently this year, but it never really sits quite right with me. One of the big reasons as to why I considered abandoning this account was I felt that nothing I wrote was good. That everyone who read it probably didn't really like it, that there were too many grammatical errors, that the characters were wonky, that it just was bad in general. This account along with the stories was written during a time where I sort of disliked myself on all angles, even hated myself at times.

ScreamingYoYos is my friend both irl and online. They were the ones who pulled me onto the boat of fanfiction (If you're still using this account and remember the password, thanks again for all the support and comments you left irl and online). It was both exciting and kinda scary. Exciting because I had always loved to write, scary because I had been afraid of what people would think of it. I had always assumed the worst of people's views on anything about myself or things I did due to some past memories. I still struggle with it but I have been getting better at ignoring that dark voice. Recently, I received notifications of people following my stories, it intrigued me but I ignored it as I felt I just wasn't able to continue and wanted to work on other things. There wasn't much and I felt that people probably just followed it because it was in the fandom they liked and it was alright. However, getting a review recently kind of motivated me to take a look back at it all again.

As I re-read some of my old stories, I realized 'Hey, it wasn't that bad, sure there are some parts that aren't that great, but that was me from 4 to 2 years ago.' Sure, sometimes it held some cliché and horridly but amusing attempts to write some sort of romance, it wasn't as bad as I had remembered it to be. I have always been prone to procrastinate and held a negative view and strong (possibly too strong) self-criticism. To have a fresh pair of eyes look at my writing and to look back at it after taking a long break from it, kind of made me see that it was an alright story with a plotline and not just random mind vomit that didn't make sense and everyone would hate. So here I am, back again, hopefully finishing what I've started.

Alright enough of my blabbing, you're here for the story, not an author's ramble. Enjoy!

~DragonFlameShuriken

P.S. Reader1qr, thanks for the review. It really made me relook into the stories I wrote and see it in a better light. No promises, but I'll do my best to finish it.

Relentless Frustration

It has been a week since Miko found out about my alt form. Surprisingly enough, she managed to never even mention it again. However, I was tied to the promise that if I was to go out for a fly, she gets to ride and tag along. I never really thought about taking to the skies in a long time, yet as soon as Miko mentioned it… I felt an old turmoil rise up again. I didn't want to sneak out just to fly in fear of being discovered, yet the other part of me yearns to be in the sky. I huffed in annoyance as is I plopped on my bed and started at the rock ceiling.

What's wrong? Bored?

I huffed in annoyance as Unicron piped up in my mind. It was going great without his unnecessary commentary on life. Now he's back and I wish I could slap him.

C'mon, I'm not that bad lil one.

"Leave me alone Unicron. You were doing so well, so why don't you go back to playing dead," I greeted flatly as I placed my servos underneath my head.

That's not very nice of a thing to say to your ancestor.

"Did I ever indicate that I cared?" I retorted as I closed my eyes to try and nap.

Fair enough. You would prefer to fly yes? I can see that staying grounded for so long is going against your instincts. I can help~

"Oh, shut up. For the last time, I don't need anything thing from you, so go away," I said with a growl of annoyance as I flopped my wings over my head in a futile attempt to shut him out.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Looks like someone's in a bad mood~

I groaned and turned onto my side, curling up in a fetal position. Just then I heard the door open. Thankfully, Unicron went silent. I ignored them, hoping to fall asleep before they leave so Unicron won't bother me. Sadly, today just hates me. I heard footsteps approach before stopping next to the bed. The voice that spoke up surprised me.

"Are you alright, Bluedragon?" came an old voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Ratchet," I replied.

"You don't sound fine to me," Ratchet stated as he sat down.

I sighed as I knew Ratchet wouldn't leave until he knew what was wrong, so I sat up. The Autobot medic looked at me, waiting for me to explain. I didn't say anything, there really wasn't much to say to begin with. Seeing that I wasn't going to reply, Ratchet cleared his throat and decided to speak first.

"I know I wasn't the most welcoming, nor the most easily approachable. But, um, if there's something bothering you, I'm, uh, here if you want to talk," Ratchet said as he stood up.

"Thanks Ratchet. I mean it this time," I replied as I gave a faint smile to him.

Ratchet gave a nod then pulled out a data tablet. He passed it to me. I gave a questioning look until I saw the title. My face lit up; it was the continuation of the story that Ratchet gave me. Seeing my mood change, Ratchet chuckled.

"That's more like it, you were grumpier than me, which is not allowed," Ratchet said, then realized what he said aloud, he quickly grumbled and went back to his grumpy self.

I giggled at Ratchet's statement as it was amusing to see the grouchy grandpa of a medic actually show his concern. I was about to get reading when Ratchet closed the screen of the tablet, much to my dismay. I was about to open it again when Ratchet gave me a glare.

"I'm not done yet. Optimus has permitted, before he left, that you can explore the area around the base within a one-mile radius. Just be careful and don't let any humans see you," Ratchet stated.

I jumped onto my feet immediately in excitement.

"Wait? Really?!" I exclaimed.

"Yes… against my better judgement," Ratchet replied with a sigh.

I cheered and carefully placed the data tablet on my bed before racing out towards the door. The medic followed me with a less optimistic attitude. The base was pretty much empty except for Ratchet and I since everyone else left on missions. I was racing up towards the helicopter pad when Ratchet blocked me.

"Awwwww. C'mon grumpy, I finally can explore a bit," I whined.

"No flying."

"But-"

"No. I'm sorry Bluedragon, but flying will make you easier to discover," Ratchet stated.

This put a damper on my happy mood but I was determined not to let that ruin it. I nodded in agreement and Ratchet let me through. I walked up onto the helicopter landing area and surveyed the dry desert terrain. It was a warm day and sunny too. I smiled and leapt off the edge to glide down, I wasn't breaking the rules in any way. Flying wasn't gliding.

Heh. Looks like you're a lot smarter and cunning than I give credit for.

I rolled my eyes as I landed. My tail swished around in a more aggressive manner.

"At least I'm smarter than you," I grumbled in response as I walked around, enjoying the slight breeze.

Watch your tone lil one. I'm surprised you listen to them.

I scoffed. Ignoring Unicron, I began to look around. There wasn't much and the sand gets everywhere. I plopped down in the shade of a huge stone pillar, trying to pick the sand out of the crevices on my armor. It was nice to be out again, even then, it still felt suffocating.

Why do you even care? Their rules aren't worth anything to you.

"What's wrong with their rules? It's to keep everyone safe," I stated as I picked out a rock.

Yes, it is. Safe from the attacks of Megatronus. But is that really what you want?

"Why should I care about what I want? Life is fine and that's good enough for me," I said as I leaned against the rock in a comfy position.

Really? Why put others first? You matter just as much. I can feel that you are getting a bit stir crazy from not being able to fly. Don't you miss being able to take to the skies without a care in the world? I know I would.

"Yes, you would. But I don't. If it means I can keep everyone safe, then I'll do anything I can," I said quietly as I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them.

Foolish child. Though I wouldn't blame you. We all want to keep those we care about safe. Even so, how would you be able to care for yourself if you cannot or will not bother with your own needs? Put yourself first will save you from pain when the time comes.

"Pffft. Sure, I'll definitely take advice on how to deal with people I care about from a person who attempted to kill his own brother for power," I retorted as I yawned a bit.

It was for his own good! If I had the power, it would have been better! He would've had a better fate!

"Really though? Didn't you think it would hurt him more to have ended up making him kill his only brother and to make a new world without his only family with him?" I asked.

For once, Unicron was silent. I chuckled softly at the silence. Even though I didn't show, his words had stirred up my frustrations again. I sighed in defeat and let the thoughts swirl around a bit like a desert hurricane. My yearning for flying, to be free, to just be selfish danced around in my head as I stood up. I ignored the thoughts as I made my way back to the base. As much as I wish so, nothing is simple and easy. I can run, but where to? There's no place to hide and running would only hurt everyone.

I was back in the base much to Ratchet's surprise as he figured I'd stay out as long as I possibly can. He didn't ask me anything although he looked like he wanted to. I ignored Ratchet and made sure there was no more sand before heading back to my room. I pulled out the data tablet to read, in hopes of those frustrating thoughts to leave me alone…