Hi all!

Thanks as always to JaneyGWF for betaing! Here we go! Please let me know if you're enjoying the story, or if there's anything you want to see explored more/less!

Maura found herself buffeted from all sides by protests. She had expected Jane to disagree with her decision to go to New York, but she hadn't been expecting such a united front of opposition. Her supernaturally fast mind allowed her to listen to all the arguments that were being simultaneously thrown at her, so she decided to consider them all before answering.

Frankie was insisting that he neither needed nor wanted her protection. This shouldn't have surprised her, but she still felt stung by his rejection. Although he was desperately trying to accept her presence for Jane's sake, it had been clear from his behaviour that he was still not past her part in his mother's death. His breathing caught minutely in anger every time he looked at her, his heart rate increased each time she moved, he refused to meet her gaze for more than a few seconds at a time, and his body had been suffused with tension from the moment she'd answered the door. These minute signs would have been invisible to anyone else, probably even to her when she was human, but her vampire eyes and ears missed nothing. When she'd given Frankie the special ammunition to look at, he had glanced between her and the bullets contemplatively, and it was obvious that he was trying to decide if he would ever use them on her. His face had returned to its impassive mask before she saw the answer, but she knew the idea had been planted. She probably wouldn't know the answer unless he acted on the impulse and decided to shoot her after all.

His refusal to accept her help shouldn't have hurt, but she found that it did. She had always considered Frankie to be the closest thing to a brother she would ever have. She still felt that way, even if he no longer cared for her and only tolerated her presence because she was his sister's friend. However, she knew she would go and protect him whether he wanted her to or not, for his own sake, for Jane's sake and for the sake of keeping her vow of protecting Angela's family.

Hope was voicing her fears about Maura going up against other vampires again. This was understandable, since Hope's experience with vampires had been overwhelmingly negative. She was concerned that Maura would get herself killed if she encountered another vampire as cruel as the one that had twisted Hope's mind, or one connected to the Volturi who had a score to settle. Maura couldn't deny that there was a possibility of her getting into a dangerous situation, but if that was the case it would mean Frankie was also in danger. Since her purpose was to protect him and others she cared about, there was no question in Maura's mind that she would happily put her own safety at a lower priority than being where she was needed.

Constance had very similar fears to Hope, but she was also insisting that Maura needed to be near the people who cared about her for her own sanity, rather than going to New York where she would once again be alone. Again, Maura could understand the emotion behind this argument. She had not done particularly well alone. Although her practical accomplishments were laudable, her mental state had deteriorated without contact with Jane and her other human touchstones. However, now that her secrets were all out in the open, at least with the people in this room, she no longer felt isolated. It felt as though she had ties to the world again, and it made a colossal difference to her state of mind. She once again felt like she had something to live for. There were still underlying long term issues, like what she was going to do in fifty years when everyone she knew had passed away, but she had decided to try not to dwell on that inevitability. Instead, she would use the time she had with them wisely, and that included protecting the people she loved, while still ensuring she was a part of their lives.

Jane was, as always, the hardest for her to argue with. Instead of leaping to her feet with a list of reasons why Maura shouldn't go, she had allowed a single 'no' to escape her lips, before almost crumpling in on herself, her expression pleading and questioning as she stared at Maura.

The amount of emotion behind that one syllable was staggering. Maura felt the accusation, the sadness, the guilt, the worry and the sense of loss all in that one heart-wrenching word. Maura could see all of the questions clearly in Jane's hunched shoulders. Are you leaving because of me? Are you trying to get yourself killed? Are you trying to run away? Will you ever come back? If you get killed trying to protect my brother, how will I live with the guilt?

Maura didn't have good answers to any of the unspoken questions, because Jane knew her too well. Maura did still feel guilty over Angela's death, and they both understood that would never stop being true. They also both knew that protecting Frankie was the only way Maura could keep her guilt under control, but it was also a way for Maura to run without really abandoning Jane. It was a way for her to distance herself, while allowing both of them to believe that it wasn't forever.

When Jane had said no, it wasn't an argument. It was resignation. It was an acknowledgement of loss. It was Jane recognising that their lives were about to be thrown into chaos again, and there was nothing she could do about it. As soon as Maura had declared her intention, they both knew she would be going, and they both knew Jane would hate it, but would let her go.

Maura met Jane's imploring look with one as reassuring and confident as she could manage, but she was fairly sure Jane saw through it to the cracks underneath. She didn't comment however, instead choosing to nod at Maura and sit back down in defeat. Maura knew they would talk about this later, but at least in front of the others Jane would back her decision.

Before she started to respond to their concerns, Maura closed her eyes and allowed herself to appreciate the proof in front of her that these people truly still cared about her. Despite what she was, despite her lamentable actions, they were still standing here, caring. It was more than she felt she deserved, but she was truly grateful.

Maura opened her eyes, deciding to take on the most emotional refusal first. "Frankie, I understand that you don't think you'll need help, but we don't know enough about the situation. There could be vampires manipulating this task force. You could encounter vampires or hybrids and have no way of defending yourself. If I'm there, I can at least stop them long enough for you to get away."

The others all frowned and moved to argue, but Frankie jumped in angrily before they could speak. "I know this is dangerous. All of our lives have been dangerous since you changed. But we didn't get a choice then, so I want the choice now. I don't want you anywhere near me. I don't want to end up like ma."

Jane stood furiously. "Frankie! That's enough! You know that wasn't her fault!"

Frankie whirled on his sister, his voice deafening and outraged. "Of course it was! She could have chosen not to be there! She could have left the city, stayed in the forest, stayed away from everyone! Instead she let ma keep coming to her house, even though she knew she could kill her! This was all completely avoidable if she'd just left us alone!"

Constance stepped forward and put a calming hand on Frankie's shoulder, her commanding voice ringing above his. "You are forgetting the Volturi threats. As far as Maura knew, her leaving would result in reprisals against everyone she held dear. She acted upon that information as best she could. The end result was neither within her ability to foresee, nor avoidable. It was the actions of the Volturi that killed your mother, not anyone here."

Frankie ripped his arm away from her grip. "Well I don't happen to agree. You two took down those Volturi by yourselves, and Jane was injured. I think you should have stood up to them. You should have stayed away. Ma wouldn't be dead, there wouldn't have been a mob war, and I wouldn't be heading to New York to chase down a non-existent cult instead of doing my job."

Jane took a deep breath to yell some more, but Maura put a restraining hand on her arm and spoke softly instead. "Frankie, I understand how you feel."

Frankie batted her hand away forcefully, yelling over whatever she would have said next. "No you don't! You've never lost your mother! You've never had one of your best friends turn into a murdering monster!"

Maura flinched at his accusatory and hateful tone, and took a moment to compose herself before answering as calmly as she could. "I've been over all these events countless times, thinking about what I could have done differently. While in hindsight there were other paths that might have ended more positively, at the time I know I did the best I could. We all did. But I understand if that doesn't matter. I don't expect you to forgive me. But you need to understand that I'll still protect you, whether you see me or not."

Maura vanished for a moment, reappearing with one of Jane's firearms. "Please, take this gun and ammunition. It's the only weapon that will let you defend yourself against vampires. I advise you not to get caught with it, since the other officers might question why you are carrying incendiary ammunition. I promise you won't see me, but I'll make sure you're safe."

Frankie took the gun hesitantly, checking the clip carefully before putting the gun into his belt. He glared at Maura, his eyes flicking over to include the others in his display of disapproval, before turning and leaving, the door slamming loudly in his wake.

Maura sighed in defeat. She had hoped to go to New York with Frankie's consent, but it seemed she would be protecting him against his wishes after all. She heard Hope and Jane sit back down, but her mother remained standing. Maura was surprised when Constance pulled her into a comforting hug, one she returned stiffly.

Constance pulled back, her expression worried as she looked at Maura. "Don't let his words hurt you. You know he's still grieving, and I don't believe he truly meant any of those sentiments."

Maura smiled weakly, knowing otherwise. "He meant most of it. He knows he'd be in danger if he went to New York alone, but he does blame me for Angela's death. He was willing to listen, and he kept an open mind until I had explained everything, but he will never forgive me."

Jane scoffed in disgust. "He'd be dead himself if it wasn't for you. Your powers were what saved us all during that shootout."

Maura moved away from Constance and faced Jane, her posture still resigned. "He would argue, correctly, that there wouldn't have been a shootout if I'd left Boston when this first happened. The Volturi engineered that mob war to get to me."

Hope stood up abruptly, pulling everyone's attention with the brusque movement. "None of this matters. Whether Frankie wants your protection or not, it's too dangerous for you to go looking for trouble in New York."

Constance nodded in agreement. "Yes, darling, she's right. You've managed to stay out of this vampire issue so far, and there's no need for you to involve yourself now. I know we've gathered all this information on these murders, but you are under no obligation to solve them. You shouldn't be exposing yourself to whatever unknown foes lurk in New York, you should be staying here where you are relatively safe."

Maura wanted to argue that of course past events mattered, since her guilt over everything they'd been discussing was what drove her entire motivation, but she recognised that further rumination on the subject would only delay her in leaving. "I don't agree. I need to go to protect Frankie, whether my presence is welcomed or not. I also think that someone will eventually come looking for whoever killed the Volturi. At least if I investigate the vampires in New York I might have a better idea of what's coming. I might also be able to find out more about these rogue vampires. If they are truly adversaries of the Volturi, they might be able to help us."

Hope crossed her arms, not done arguing yet. "And what happens when you encounter a vampire that can set you on fire, or erase your mind, or any number of things that we've never even considered? Every vampire we've encountered other than you has been a monster."

Maura shook her head, resisting the urge to argue over her own monstrousness. "That isn't true. The Cullens seem to be non-violent, and they are enemies of the Volturi. My hope is that the other rogue vampires might also be vegetarians, or at least less violent and destructive than the Volturi. I might be able to find some allies."

Constance took her turn at a compelling argument. "And what happens if one of the Volturi comes here while you're gone? What if they come after Jane?"

Maura flinched at that argument, glancing at Jane who had been remarkably quiet throughout this entire exchange. She was still sitting, and was now staring at nothing, her expression deeply troubled.

Everyone frowned when they realised how withdrawn Jane had been. Constance and Hope looked at each other worriedly, before Constance spoke gently. "Why don't we step out, and you two can discuss this? I hope you'll think about what we've said. We only want you to be safe."

Maura nodded, grateful despite the doubt their words had planted in her. "I'll consider what you've said, but I'm not expecting to change my mind. I should be heading to New York as soon as possible, to start investigating before Frankie gets there."

Both women nodded unhappily, but hugged Maura lovingly and somewhat desperately before leaving without another word. Maura closed the door behind them, needing to brace herself before she started what she expected to be a difficult conversation. Jane didn't usually simmer quietly when she was angry, she usually made it known loudly. This was something else, and Maura didn't expect this to be quick or painless.

Jane didn't move as Maura sat next to her, but the increase in her heart rate gave away her awareness nonetheless. Maura decided to wait patiently for Jane to find the words.

After a few minutes, her patience was rewarded when Jane started to speak softly. "I know I'm not going to change your mind. I can't stop you going."

Maura shook her head slowly. "I need to make sure he's okay."

Jane finally looked up. "I'm glad you'll be with him. He's still new at this detective stuff, he might miss things. He might not see when he's about to get in too deep. He might not ask for help when he needs it."

Maura shrugged. "I'll make sure he doesn't have to ask."

Jane frowned, her voice hitching. "So, who are you going to ask when you need help?"

Maura looked away, knowing she didn't have an answer. Jane continued, her voice gaining strength. "Exactly. Your mothers are right. You're walking into a situation with no backup, no idea what you'll find, no facts on who the players are, and no way out if you get into trouble."

Maura still didn't respond, so Jane barrelled on. "I know you won't approach Frankie now that he's asked you not to, so you'll try to do everything yourself. You'll get yourself killed Maura."

Maura spread her arms, her voice pleading. "What do you want me to say? That I'll stay here and hide? That I'll let Frankie get hurt? Neither of us would forgive me if that happened. There's no guarantee I won't get killed here in Boston tomorrow, Jane. There is no safe place for me anymore. Not while I know so little about who my enemies might be. But I can do something useful while I'm in danger, and that's all I can ask for."

Jane sat forward assertively. "Maybe not. Maybe I can be your backup."

Maura looked at her doubtfully. "Jane, thank you for the offer, but you can't even lift a gun right now. Besides, I wouldn't want you putting yourself in the Volturi's path. You're human, and they don't have the same regard for human life that I do."

Jane met Maura's gaze fiercely. "I don't have to be only human."

Maura frowned at Jane in confusion before leaping off the couch and across the room. "What? Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

Jane stood slowly, her expression the pinnacle of seriousness. "Yes. If you changed me, I could help, I could come with you. We could both protect Frankie. We could both protect everyone. And I could protect you."

Maura let a derisive laugh loose, unable to believe what she was hearing. "You can't possibly be serious. Please tell me this is an ill-timed joke I have failed to understand. Because the suggestion that you would want me to make you a monster is completely ludicrous."

Jane started walking towards Maura slowly. "Hear me out. We go out to the woods somewhere, miles from anyone. You bite me and then bleed me out as much as possible. We wait the three days until I've finished changing. You can even go to New York for that time, to look out for Frankie. Then you teach me how to maintain control, how to hunt, everything that you had to learn the hard way. When I'm ready, we'll go and deal with whatever we find in New York together."

Maura leapt away from Jane as she approached, staying as far away as possible. "No! I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, much less you! You have a life here Jane, a family! You're going to heal, go back to work, and do what you love to do. You're going to be the terrific aunt to TJ that you've always been. You're going to keep Tommy out of trouble and make sure Frankie becomes a great detective. You're going to find new friends, experience new things, maybe even find someone and have a family of your own someday. You have a spectacular life, Jane, with so much potential, and there is no argument on this earth that would make me take that away from you!"

Jane's voice remained steady as she replied, the apparent calmness setting Maura even more on edge. "My arm may never heal. There's so much nerve damage, and so much metal holding it all together. I may never go back to work. I may never be useful again. If I was a vampire, I could do everything I do as a cop, and more. I love your idea of reforming criminals before the cops get hold of them. With more ideas like that, we could really make a difference!"

Maura was starting to sound hysterical as she continued to back away from Jane. "Even if you don't heal, there are other things you can do to be useful. You have options! If I did this to you, those options would be gone! You'd be trapped in this life, and there would be no going back!"

Jane stopped walking, holding out her hand imploringly instead. "I know I'd find something to do, but realistically I could never do as much as a human as I could as a vampire. We've talked about this possibility before, remember? I said then that I'd change to make sure you weren't alone, and changing to make sure you're safe seems like just as good a reason. You've shown me that despite the drawbacks, it is possible to deal with being a vampire and still be a good person."

Maura flashed over to Jane, grabbing her shirt and baring her teeth in Jane's face. Jane gasped as she found herself held off the ground, millimetres from Maura's darkened eyes, feeling the threatening growl emanating from her friend vibrate through her whole body.

Jane flinched instinctively as Maura started to yell in her face. "I'm not a good person! I keep trying to do good things to prove I'm what I used to be, but it'll never change the truth! I'm a monster! I have desires and instincts that frighten me! They should sure as hell frighten you!"

She desperately needed Jane to understand, and her usual logic had abandoned her. Maura was feeling so much anger and hurt, she couldn't help but shake Jane to emphasise her words as she kept her suspended above the ground. "I hate what I am! And it kills me that you understand me so little, that you would ask me to do this to you too!"

Maura dropped Jane back into the nearest chair, staggering back in shock over what she'd just done. Despite all they'd been through, despite all the temptations and trials, Maura had never revealed her basic nature in such a directed manner at Jane before. Jane had seen her attack a bear, kill her mother, almost attack her when she smelled blood, and rip a vampire's head off, but she'd never actually crossed that line and gotten physical with Jane.

Maura could only stare at Jane's terrified face, realising that she'd gone too far, but also knowing that her point had been made. She could see the understanding dawn in Jane's eyes. She had seen the monster in Maura once, and somehow convinced herself it was gone, or at least caged. Now Jane knew the truth, and comprehended what she'd just asked Maura to do.

Jane gaped for several long moments before straightening in the chair and forcing a stammering sentence past her numb lips. "I…I'm sorry, Maur. I didn't mean…I didn't get it. You're always so put together, I assumed you'd gotten it under control. And I thought you had moved past this…self-hatred. I thought you were okay with what you are, even if it wasn't what you would have chosen. I just wanted to help. I didn't mean to suggest anything you'd gone through was easy, or dismiss how much you've lost."

Maura closed her eyes and sighed, reining in her emotions and returning to her logic now that Jane was finally listening and understanding. "I know, Jane. I know why you asked. But think it through. Even if there was the slightest chance I'd consider doing this to you, it wouldn't help. The only reason I can be around humans and blood now is because of the knowledge I absorbed from Carlisle. He has centuries of knowledge to draw on in order to help me resist my natural instincts. We were told that exsanguination prior to the venom transforming the cells is what allowed me to resist blood, but realistically their test group is too small to know that conclusively. It could be a random chance of biology, personality or some combination of both that allows me to control my thirst. Also I got extremely lucky with the circumstances under which I faced temptation. Until I wasn't lucky, and your mother paid the price."

Maura let that sink in for a moment before continuing. "You might wake up as the most bloodthirsty vampire to ever walk the earth, through nothing more than a genetic quirk we were unaware of. Or you could be able to control your thirst, but have some sort of power that needs to be learned and controlled before you can re-join society. There are just too many variables."

Jane nodded, her jerky movements belying the fear still thrumming through her body. Maura couldn't handle the evidence of the damage she'd just inflicted, and inched closer. "I am somewhat at peace with my own situation. I have accepted it. I've found ways to manage it. But, as you said, I wouldn't have chosen this life if I had another option. My life may not have been perfect, but it was mine, and I understood it, and I would have fought to keep it given the chance. And I miss it."

Jane's body relaxed slightly as Maura spoke soothingly, finally looking Maura in the eye as she finished. Maura could see tears gathering that Jane was desperately trying not to shed. Hoping she wouldn't scare Jane any further, Maura moved to sit next to her. Jane immediately threw her arms around her, pulling her into a hug that was gratefully returned.

Jane held on for several long minutes, softly crying tears she would never admit to shedding if it were anyone else. Maura drew as much comfort from the embrace as she could, realising that this would most likely be the last one for an indeterminate time.

Jane finally pulled away, a wince suggesting that the pain in her arm had compelled her to let go rather than a wish to stop. Maura smiled at the sight of a newly determined Jane, glad to see that she apparently hadn't broken Jane this time.

Jane glanced over at the files on the table meaningfully. "So, I guess since I've failed miserably in convincing you to stay, you'll be leaving today?"

Maura nodded, standing to gather the files and put them away. "Yes, I think that would be best. I'll make you some lunch, then head out. I'll need to stop on the way to hunt, but I should make it to the city by nightfall. That way I'll have plenty of time to check the area Frankie will be working in and see if there is already a vampire presence."

Jane's expression grew more worried, but her voice remained steady. "Please be careful. Take a phone with you, and call me if you find anything. We can look into any leads you send us, and help you out with information."

She got up as quickly as she could, heading out of the room and returning with a handful of guns and ammunition. "Take these too. I know you can knock people down with your pain glare thing, but I'd feel better if you had a more lethal option. In case you run into more Volturi, or those potential allies turn out to be potential threats instead."

Maura nodded, taking the offered weapons and securing them around her person. She was still wearing her black full body outfit, which had lots of pockets and pouches. Both women stilled, realising there wasn't much more to say except goodbye.

Jane lunged over suddenly and hugged Maura fiercely, her breath catching. "Don't trust anyone, okay? Not humans, not vampires, nobody. You come home safe."

Maura wished once again that she could cry, if only to convey to Jane how much it hurt to leave her, despite all her logical arguments about why she had to go. "I'll be careful. I'll only intervene if someone is about to be killed. I'll try to stay out of any fights or cults or turf wars or vampire politics."

Jane chuckled bitterly as she hung on even tighter. "You'd better."