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Chapter 24: A Question of Sincerity

For four days Rachel had sat on the question of whether or not to fulfill her sister's requests. Countless musings with both Eddie and Philip had been shared, yet she knew that the ultimate decision lingered with her.

Though it was as her eyes were drawn to her phone following on from the customary ping, that Rachel found herself wondering if the world was punishing her in some way, punishing her for not coming to a conclusion sooner.

Will you come round tonight? I need to see you, to ask you something - read the text from Melissa, heavily insinuating that Philip hadn't informed his mum about Rachel being all too aware of her wishes.

In a case of utterly perfect timing, Eddie strolled into the kitchen, eyeing her curiously as he became aware of her struggles, still not halting his intentions of dropping a light kiss to Rachel's cheek, before sliding into the stool adjacent to her. She would open up in her own time - whatever it was - he knew.

"Melissa," she gestured to her phone with a roll of her eyes, somewhat exasperatedly. Eddie's stomach tightened, putting two and two together - he knew that her sister's ask had been playing on Rachel's mind heavily, taunting her every thought process. Surely, if Eddie had been right in his presumptions, this contact would only intensify that?

"She called?" The curiosity was amped up in his tone, even as Rachel shook her head, folded her lips.

"A text," she reached for the device once more, hands almost shaking - in disbelief, anger; Rachel didn't know, "will you come round tonight," she relayed, eyebrows raised almost comically, "I need to see you, to ask you something."

His mind raced, eyes wide at Melissa's obvious strong desire for her sister to be by her side when it came to the court case, "Phil didn't spill the beans then, about telling you."

Rachel tilted her head, blew out a breath as she leant back slightly, feeling incredibly off balance given that she was seated, "apparently not. Unless this is an entirely new debacle," she paused for a moment, choosing to take comfort from Eddie's soft eyes and light smile, "Eddie, what do I do?"

It was something she seemed to be asking him a lot when it came to Melissa. Rachel was very much in two minds about a relationship with her sister - perhaps unwilling to lean one way or another for fear of deeply regretting her actions.

"Maybe it's a good thing, a good idea…" he trailed off his sentence, shrugging slightly whilst drinking in Rachel's expression. Upon comprehending it, Eddie knew he would have to expand before she'd opened her mouth.

"I don't follow…" she frowned minutely, thoroughly nonplussed. What could possibly be 'good' about this predicament?

Eddie leant forwards, resting elbows on knees, hands clasped together, "Rachel, you're unsure of Melissa's intentions - yes?" He halted until he received a curt nod, not letting himself to be put off by her strained features, "well then, maybe this is the perfect opportunity. Maybe you should go and visit her, see what she has to say. Just a thought, but it might help you make your mind up, don't you think?"

She had been rather sceptical at first, yet Rachel couldn't deny that Eddie had a point - and a passable one at that. Melissa had proved simple to read in recent weeks when it came to situations such as this one; something which hadn't altered since their childhood, Rachel mused.

Eddie's light touch on her arm brought the realisation that she'd been silent for just that little bit too long, wrapped up in her constantly swirling thoughts.

They shared a smile - warm and genuine - putting to rest Eddie's arising concerns that he'd gone too far, made an absurd suggestion.

"Your ideas are rather clever you know, Lawson."

Even more relief crashed through him, a chuckle escaping his lips as he processed her words, "you know I just want what's best for you," he reached out, ran a light finger down Rachel's cheek before dropping it into her lap to entwine their fingers.

Emotion washed over her, heart almost thumping in her chest as she frankly struggled to rid the lump which had formed in her throat. Rachel had never dreamt of finding someone like Eddie, someone who loved and cared for her no matter what, someone who she reciprocated feelings for in equal measure. He was undoubtedly that person - her everything, to put it simply. And although they had been together for some weeks now, Rachel knew the concept was something she would happily spend a lifetime wrapping her head around. Just as long as Eddie was by her side.

Almost subconsciously, or maybe even instinctively, Rachel had risen, sliding swiftly into Eddie's lap, taking in his contented grin as she flung her arms around his neck.

"I love you," she couldn't stop the words from tumbling out, his beaming expression unchanged as his gaze alternated from eyes to lips.

Rachel was practically holding her breath - rather unsure as to why, given that those words were ones they'd spoken to one another more than a handful of times. All she knew was that she couldn't stop herself from biting her lip, flushing as Eddie's eyes were once more drawn to the action.

He couldn't stop himself from surging forwards for any longer, didn't want to. Taking Rachel by surprise, Eddie pressed his lips to hers, deep and encompassing. If she'd thought her breath had been stolen before, it most certainly was now. They delighted in the leap this conversation had taken, Eddie's ability to flip her state on its head, something which was forever astounding her.

He put everything into the heated exchange, hoping to portray the full extent of his emotions - smiling against Rachel's mouth as she responded in an equally passionate fashion.

"I love you too," he mumbled upon her lips, reciprocating the words just in case his actions weren't intense enough.

Even if Rachel found herself at Melissa's within the next hour, even if that visit was a disaster - leading to more mess for her to clean up - she couldn't deny the way her mind was focussed on Eddie and Eddie only in that moment. An effect which he constantly had on her.

….

One, two, three, four, five. It was the fourth time Rachel had done it - counted to five on her sister's doorstep, and it was becoming tedious. Hadn't Melissa wanted her here? Wanted her to come? One more time, she thought, then she would turn on her heel and go.

The pure fact that Rachel longed to be back wrapped up in Eddie's arms wasn't helping matters, especially as her apprehension seemed to rocket sky high as a figure could be seen approaching.

Before she knew it, Melissa was somewhat inappropriately beaming down at her - the warm and welcoming expression a far cry from their current estrangement.

"Well, I didn't think you'd come."

"I almost didn't," Rachel admitted, her mind once more rolling back to an earlier conversation and then ultimately - Eddie.

She pretended not to see the flash of hurt which shot across her sister's features, one that hadn't been concealed as well as the blonde thought, clearly.

"You're here now. And I do need to ask you… just come in, yeah?"

Rachel nodded once, curt and stiff, allowing Eddie's earlier words to fill her mind, anything to stop her from bolting right back out the door.

There was a heavy, suffocating atmosphere as Melissa made their drinks, Rachel unable to do anything other than follow her actions, watching on with a subdued demeanour.

She swallowed thickly as her sister reached for a pack of biscuits, distracted as she deposited their tea bags. Rachel wasn't overly sure she'd be capable of spitting her words out, but knew she had to try.

"Philip told me."

She was convinced that Melissa had been on the verge of dropping both cups of hot liquid, spinning on her heel, careful to replaster the painfully content expression, "he did?"

Rachel nodded, making a silent prayer that they were on the same page, that their hadn't been some random form of misunderstanding, "about the court? You wanting me there."

For the first time, Melissa visibly sagged, the sigh emanating from her lips speaking volumes, "I've got no one else Rach, please."

The initial emotion which slammed into Rachel, was swiftly replaced with a sense that Melissa was so obviously trying her arm at guilt tripping. Something which, unfortunately, Rachel was all too aware of.

Even she found herself wondering when she'd start putting herself first, stop brushing aside everything Melissa had done to hurt her. Despite this, Rachel wasn't certain she ever could ignore her sister's pleas for help.

"I don't know, Mel, I…"

She was powerless to halt her actions, Melissa's hand stretching across the table to search out for Rachel's, grasping it with a strength which made her feel uneasy.

She gulped, and was sure the sound was audible as, reluctantly, she dragged her eyes up to meet Melissa's.

"I'm still going to the aa meetings."

Well, that was one positive, Rachel thought, "and they're… they're working?"

Melissa looked rather impressed with herself, "haven't had a drink since I wound up in hospital."

"Good. Good," Rachel nodded her head confidently, trying to shake herself of the emotions which came with being in the same room as her sister, "but you know that doesn't change anything."

It was agony as Melissa's hand slipped away, an incredibly hurt look in her eyes. Rachel had to mentally slap herself to stop the guilt from setting in, a reminder of all that this woman had put her through. The fire, next to no contact for fifteen years - all of it not halting the help Melissa desired. She just had to keep telling herself that.

"I know you probably aren't going to want to be my sister again. I know that. But it's not like I have anyone else, Phil won't go."

Rachel's curiosity piqued, "you asked him?"

But Melissa shook her head, looking rather solemn as she took a sip of tea, "no. But he hates me. He lives with you."

"Oh, Mel. He doesn't hate you. Philip just needs some time. If you can continue to prove that you're serious about not drinking then… you've got a fighting chance of rebuilding a relationship with your son."

"Just… not you?"

It was then that Rachel snatched her earlier musing back - Melissa was proving almost impossible to read, her behaviours changing day in day out. It was something she found herself wary of, felt as though she was walking on eggshells in terms of their sisterhood.

"I don't know Mel," she put her hands flat on the table, open with her honesty, "and that's the truth."

"What about the 27th? The trial. You'll… come?"

Something in her snapped, a voice in the back of her mind asking what harm it would do, "I will."

….

Pacing up and down his room, Philip didn't think he could wait any longer until Rachel returned. His mind was known to race, yet this was far more intense - brain almost exploding with thoughts. He had spoken with Eddie of his aunt's visit to Melissa, and that alone had piqued his anxiety. Philip couldn't seem to halt the sense that everything would topple back on him if the meeting didn't go to plan.

And what about the trial itself? There was a high chance his mum would end up in prison, perhaps a six month stretch. He almost felt intrusive at the thought of staying with Rachel for that long. Where did that leave him?

The arrival of the woman herself alerted Philip's senses as he slowly approached the landing, listening intently as she and Eddie exchanged words. The only way to suppress his fears was to open up to Rachel, he knew.

Her head snapped up as soon as he called her name, smiling softly, "everything alright Philip?"

"Yeah," Philip was beginning to regret his decision, "can we erm… can I talk to you?"

The two adults shared a smile as Eddie trailed back towards the living room, Rachel making her way up the staircase towards him.

"Of course you can," the pair came to a halt at the height of the steps, hovering on the landing, "what is it?"

Philip couldn't find his voice, couldn't imagine for one moment asking Rachel outright about his predicament if Melissa ended up behind bars. He shifted uncomfortably, searching for something, anything to say, "how was it? With mum."

Her eyes widened, expression marginally surprised before she snapped into action, "I'm going to erm… accompany her to court."

Well, that was the last thing he'd been expecting. Yet then again, Rachel was proving to be more and more selfless everyday, "she doesn't deserve that. Not really."

Darting left and right, Philip's eyes didn't once remain in the same position. Rachel scanned his features, realising - not for the first time - that his question of her meeting with Melissa hadn't been the reason behind this talk.

"I don't think that's what you wanted to ask me about, is it?"

He ducked his head, all of a sudden wishing the ground would swallow him up. There was no backing down now, Rachel would see right through his façade no matter what, "what happens if she goes to prison?"

She tilted her head, concern rising by the second, shuddering at the thought of her sister behind bars, "how do you mean?"

"Well… me. What'll happen to me?"

Almost immediately the puzzle was complete, even if Rachel's stomach sank with the knowledge, "you'll always be welcome here Philip. It doesn't matter how long. We like having you here, okay?"

He looked uncertain, almost disbelieving on the surface, but beneath relief crashed through him. It wasn't hard to see just how genuine Rachel was with her words - a far cry from his mum, Philip thought sadly.

"Thanks, Rach."

His words were coupled with a smile, yet Rachel wasn't convinced, knew more than anything that reassurance here was key. She and Eddie had to show Philip that they weren't going anywhere, not as Melissa had done several times before.