Charades.
This was the third round in a row where she had failed to obtain any points for her and Anna's team. She was bad at this game. She knew it. And seriously, three bouts in a row with no progress? She couldn't quite believe it herself.
But it wasn't her fault that she was so...distracted. It wasn't quite like last time when there was a melodious voice persistently invading her thoughts. This time it was something far more down to earth.
Kristoff was being more touchy with Anna than usual.
Not that it bothered her.
They were engaged now. It would make perfect sense if he wanted to be more forward.
It was just…
Ever since she returned from the enchanted forest earlier that morning, she couldn't help but focus on these details in their interactions.
And if she had to be perfectly honest, it made her feel...sad?
Jealous even?
She didn't quite understand it herself.
"Snow?! This one was so easy! It's basically the same thing as ice!" Anna complained as she reviewed the word that Elsa had been struggling with the entire round.
Anna wasn't mad at Elsa per se. She was just over competitive, and frankly she was tired of Olaf and Kristoff always winning. She really wanted to win at least once tonight.
"I'm sorry." Elsa apologized in embarrassment. "Maybe you should play without me. I'm really not good at these kinds of games. I'm sure one of the servants would be happy to join you if you asked."
"Elsa wait-"
"It's really not a big deal, Anna." She assured the younger girl. "I think you would have a lot more fun playing with Kai. I'll go get him real quick."
Elsa began heading for the door to go fetch the said servant, but not before Anna lunged off the couch to grab a hold of her arm.
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell. I really don't care about winning or not. Just...please don't leave me." Anna wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, and for a second Elsa swore she heard the younger girl whimper.
"I...okay, I won't leave." Elsa responded while patting the younger girl's head, but was then shocked to find that Anna really was crying. She swallowed suddenly, not sure what had gotten into the other girl, but she reached down to cup her sister's cheeks and caressed them softly.
"Hey." She said, bringing Anna's face close to hers so that their foreheads were touching. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Anna hiccuped and nodded, burying herself again into Elsa's chest.
Kristoff looked back and forth between the two of them.
"We'll give you two some alone time. Come on, guys." Kristoff got up and signaled for Sven and Olaf to follow.
"Wait...are you sure?" Elsa asked. "I didn't mean to take you guys away from your game…" She said guiltily.
"It's fine, Elsa. You two should really have the rest of the night to yourselves. Isn't that right, Olaf?"
"Yup! Me and Elsa definitely need some alone time together." The snowman joked, inching away cheekily from the ice harvester.
"Not quite on the mark there buddy." Kristoff said before dragging Olaf out of the room with him. The door shut behind them, and Elsa was left in the silence with Anna still cuddled up against her.
"Anna?" She rubbed the top of the girl's head gently.
"I missed you."
Elsa smiled softly at that. "I missed you too, sis."
It had merely been two weeks since she had decided to live away from the castle. Realistically, it shouldn't have been anything worth crying over, and it certainly paled in comparison to how long they had been apart from before.
But Elsa would be lying if she said she didn't miss home.
Some nights she found herself crying herself to sleep.
The living conditions had been rough. She wasn't used to not having servants around at all times, and not having meals prepared for her at the earliest convenience. It was different, and the comforting lifestyle that she had grown accustomed to was no longer present.
But the reason she had cried wasn't because of the change in living standards. Those factors were trivial, things she could adapt to, get used to.
The reason she had cried...it was because she didn't have moments like this anymore.
Moments with Anna.
It made more of a difference to her than she was willing to admit.
Can I really keep doing this?
She wrapped her arms tight around Anna, suddenly struck with the need to cheer up the younger girl's spirits as soon as possible.
"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Elsa proposed.
Anna looked up at her gratefully and nodded.
She wondered if it was really okay to be drinking wine at this hour, and in all honesty, she had never seen Anna drink before. Whether the younger girl was a lightweight remained an absolute mystery to her.
But Anna had proposed that they ask for a bottle. It was her first time back after all. And they were having such a good time in their room; sharing stories, making jokes, reminiscing on the past, Elsa didn't have the heart to reject her beloved sister's request.
So here they were now. Merely on their second glass, and Elsa was already starting to see the alcohol take effect on her poor lightweight Anna.
"Too much to drink? Already?" Elsa teased.
Anna pouted, her face flushed red, from the alcohol or embarrassment, Elsa couldn't tell anymore. "Jus because your perfect at everything, doesn't mean I a-am."
Elsa smiled softly. "I'm far from perfect, sis."
"You're perfect to me." Anna said before grabbing Elsa's waist from behind and cuddling up against her back.
Elsa chuckled, more or less endeared by the drunk display of affection.
"Well you should definitely work on that tolerance. It wouldn't be proper for a queen to act like this at formal occasions. You never know when other dignitaries will ask for a toast." She joked. Mostly.
Anna was quiet and still. Not responding to what she had said in the slightest.
Did she fall asleep?
"Anna?"
"I don't want to be queen."
It was so quiet, barely above a whisper that Elsa almost didn't make it out. But Anna's attitude had changed almost entirely from their previous exchange.
"What do you-"
"I don't want to be queen." She repeated.
Elsa blinked, taken aback, and then laughed softly, turning around and taking Anna's hand into her own. "I think you've had enough to drink for the night. All that wine has you thinking out of sorts."
But Anna wouldn't back down apparently, not after opening up as much as she had. Before Elsa had time to react, Anna was pushing Elsa onto the floor so that she was on top.
Elsa's heart leapt into her throat at their position. "Anna-"
She felt Anna's hand come down to caress both sides of her face, gently, as if she were an art sculpture that could break at a moment's notice. She was so close, their noses almost touching, and Elsa could clearly make out the precise shade of teal in Anna's eyes. She was suddenly filled with a strange desire to close the distance between them in some way.
But Anna was crying again, silently, tears streaking down her cheeks to eventually fall onto her own pale skin. Elsa could do nothing but remain silent and watch, praying that the tears weren't there because of her.
But that was unlikely.
"Why did you push me away?"
Elsa's eyes went wide.
"What?"
"You said we would be together didn't you? So why...why do you still feel so far away?"
The question struck deep within her soul, forcing Elsa to confront the issue that she herself had been admittedly running away from.
Why was she always running?
Why was Anna always crying?
Strangely enough, she found herself trying to answer Anna's question. Maybe the wine was starting to get to her too.
"I-I dont know." She admitted. "I thought that you deserved it. To be queen, I mean. And...you just got engaged. I thought it was the right timing for something like this."
"And...and I'm the fifth spirit." She continued half heartedly. "I should be out there...in the forest. That's where I belong."
Anna stared at her sternly.
"Do you really believe that?"
Did she?
Of course not. But it was something that she had lied about before, and it would've been better if she just lied about it again.
Yet for some odd reason, she couldn't bring herself to say it this time.
"I-"
"Do you love me?"
What?
"O-of course I do."
Anna leaned in close, to the point where Elsa could feel the younger girl's breath fanning over her cheeks.
Her heart stopped at Anna's next words.
"Do you want to be with me?"
Elsa found herself trapped under Anna's earnest gaze. Yet her mind was clear, and the answer held there was without a doubt how she really felt.
She nodded.
"Then stay…" Anna whispered. "Stay with me Elsa."
"Because I can't live another day without you."
A heartbeat.
And then...
Anna inched forward and kissed her.
Elsa was frozen. Shocked.
But to her own growing surprise, a single thought dominated in her conscience.
Her lips are warm.
Slowly but surely…
Elsa kissed back.
A minute passed before they broke away together. Anna leaned back, staring into Elsa's eyes. Nothing was said between them, and nothing needed to be in that moment, until Anna finally brought her head down and rested it against the older girl's chest.
Elsa's heart was beating rapidly. Faster than she had ever experienced before. Faster than she probably wanted.
Words were threatening to leave her lips, and she wanted so badly to just let herself be open.
So badly for once in her life to put her guard down.
And so she did.
"I love you, Anna." She choked out tearfully. "So much that it scares me. I don't know what to do anymore." She admitted.
Anna remained silent, and so Elsa continued.
"But I do know that whatever happens, I want to be together with you. I should've never pushed you away…"
"And I'm sorry."
"Will you forgive me?"
Elsa waited for a response, but again Anna said nothing.
Was Anna still mad at her?
But then she heard it, a deep rhythmic breathing, serene, puffing gently against her chest.
Anna had fallen asleep.
Elsa stared, mouth agape at the resting form of her sister. Had she been talking to herself? And for how long? Embarrassment flooded her cheeks to a dark shade of red.
She really is a lightweight.
Steering herself, Elsa gathered Anna into her arms from the floor and gently brought her to her bed, pulling back the sheets, and tucking the younger girl in.
She sat there next to her. Her thoughts to herself, and her mind simply trying to wrap around everything that had happened in the past hour. Eventually, she laid down next to Anna and stared up at the ceiling.
Her tiredness got the better of her, and Elsa found her eyes slowly shutting, submitting to the gentle lull of sleep.
But moments before sleep consumed her, a thought made its way to the forefront of her mind.
The truth.
I want to kiss her again.
Elsa found Anna the next morning in the dining hall.
"Morning Els!" Anna smiled cheerfully.
"M-morning." Elsa replied shyly. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect from this conversation, but Anna's cheerfulness must've meant that things were okay right? She decided to go along with it. "I'm surprised to see you awake before me for once."
"I know right. I must've gone to bed really early last night."
Anna's words gave her pause.
"Y-you don't remember?" Elsa asked.
"Remember what?" Elsa's shocked expression made Anna gasp in realization. "Oh no. Did I drink again?"
"Y-yeah…"
"Oh god, I didn't do anything stupid did I?" Anna laughed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry if I did, I never remember anything after I drink. I really need to stay away from the wine."
"Nothing happened." Elsa lied. "I just...I'm surprised that you don't remember anything…"
Surprised was selling it short.
Disappointed.
Heartbroken.
Anna must've noticed her change in expression. "Elsa? You okay?"
She really wasn't okay.
She was surprised herself, just how disappointed she felt.
What did you expect? That something would come out of this?
Of course she wouldn't remember. She was drunk for Christ's sake.
Why would you get this excited from an accidental kiss with your sister?
You're sick.
There's something wrong with you.
Her inner thoughts tormented her, to the point where she had the immediate urge to cry, but on the outside she forced a thin smile, an act that she had practiced for years to a near perfection.
Elsa hated doing it.
She absolutely hated lying to Anna.
"I'm fine."
But old habits died hard.
Especially when you were in love with your sister.
"Anna!"
Kristoff found her in the halls of the castle. She had just returned from seeing Elsa off at the docks.
"Did Elsa already leave?" Kristoff asked.
"Mhm. I just saw her off."
"Ah bummer. Wish I could've said bye to her at least."
"It's okay." She said cheerfully. "She'll be back before you know it."
Wistfully, she turned her attention to the window, staring out at the fjord, wondering if she could see Elsa riding on Nokk from all the way up here.
"You miss her already, don't you?"
"Hm?" Anna perked up. "I'm okay. I mean I have you here after all!"
Kristoff smiled at the gesture, and leaned down to capture Anna's lips in a kiss.
They stayed that way until Anna broke away first. She smiled politely up at him afterwards.
"I have some work I need to get done. I'll meet up with you later, okay?"
Kristoff nodded, and she made her way around the corner of the halls where she wouldn't be seen.
Once she was out of sight she pressed her back against the wall and fell to the floor.
She tried to forget it. If she could lie to Elsa about it, then surely she could lie to herself.
But love wasn't something so easily forgotten.
Throughout the entirety of her kiss with Kristoff, she had only thought of one thing.
She wanted to kiss Elsa again.
A/N: Had a lot of fun writing this. May continue if I feel like it. Thanks for reading!