Oh no,
You?
Of all people,
You had to show up.
I really want to punch you.
Take a deep breath,
Have some patience.
(Just a reminder, watch the YouTube video Best Comeback Ever By Brian David Gilbert for Jeremy's laugh. He's back baby.)
Hinata walked out of a store in the food district. The village had finally been rebuilt and it was as lively as ever.
She was carrying Bolt around on her head as she did her shopping. Most businesses would allow "The hero of the leaf's own magnificent puppy". When Naruto was out of the village, she would watch the dog in place of him. After saving the entire village, Naruto's workload was seemingly rather light, as he was made one of the personal bodyguards of the Hokage along with Shisui. That was a "strange coincidence". He was off with Tsunade for the five Kage summit to discuss actual peace treaties.
Little did Hinata know, being "The personal guard of the Hokage," just meant that when Tsunade was in the village, Naruto and Shisui would take on normal anbu missions. Also, little did she know, Naruto and Shisui had been in the anbu longer than she had known either of them.
"Hello there," a voice sounded from behind her. She recognized it, but she had a hard time placing it. It sounded really snotty. And shitty. And annoying. And- "I saaaaid: 'Hello there'."
"Oh right. Sorry," she started to turn around.
"Anyway, how much for the night?"
"Oh. Hello," she recognized his face, "Jeremy."
"Do I know you, local woman of the night?"
Hinata grit her teeth, "We went to the academy together?" He scratched his head, "My name is Hinata?"
He snapped, "Ah yes of course! I wouldn't have taken you to be the hooker type," he smiled as Hinata held back a scream, "Now, I'm back in town so let me treat you, old friend."
"Oh, no, that's-"
"Come, come. I assume you get tired of peasant food every now and then, being the maiden you are."
"Don't you think I'm a hooker still?"
Jeremy laughed his disgusting, horrid laugh and clapped her on the shoulder, "Nonsense. I never said that. Classic Hiata, always joking around," he doubled over laughing as Hinata stood straight faced, "Let's go eat something. You women always get cranky on an empty stomach."
"Uh, that's-" he dragged her along. 'What would Naruto think if he found out about this? What if he thought I was cheating on him?' She began to panic for a moment. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down, 'Just relax, Hinata. Be patient. It's Jeremy. Like hell Naruto would be jealous. But what if he did?' She would go along. Not like she had much choice, "Jeremy, can you let go?"
"Oh, I suppose," he loosened his grip, "I just assumed you wanted a strong male to lead you."
She let out an awkward laugh. On the inside she was fuming, 'I OUGHTA SHOW YOU STRONG KYAAA! No, no Hinata- calm down,' she took a deep breath.
"Anyway. Who is she?" He pointed to a pink haired girl.
"That's Sakura. Shall we invite her?"
"Ohhhhh Sakura. To be honest, I did take her to be the hooker type."
She let out another awkward laugh and rubbed the back of her neck, "You know, it probably wouldn't be a great idea to bring Sakura along." If Hinata could barely stand Jeremy, Sakura would lose it. Completely.
"Works for me. I bet she would try to make a move on me."
'Yeah. Right,' she thought as she rolled her eyes, "What would you like to eat?"
"Something fancy, or maybe something robust, or something abstract."
Hinata let out another awkward laugh as she tried to figure out what that meant, "How about some ramen?"
"Oh I suppose. There isn't really anything of the sort around here. It'll be my treat," he winked.
'Oh god.'
"Oh! Hello, Hinata-chan! And who's a good boy?" She looked to bolt, "Welcome, welcome. Would you like the usual?"
She nodded as Jeremy butted in, "I thought that she was a dog at first too," he let out another laugh, causing Ayame and Teuchi to jump, their faces contorting in disgust. "We'll take two of your most expensive dish. And hurry up please, lowly servicewoman!"
He sat down as Ayame twitched and slowly turned to hide her fury. She welled up spit in her mouth, preparing to unload in the boy's dish. She felt a glare from Teuchi.
She could hear him in her mind, 'You dare disrespect my business with such foolish antics?! We treat our food with the utmost respect, no matter the consumer! If you spit in that bowl, you are no longer my daughter.' She grunted, swallowing her spit and her pride all in one go.
She handed Hinata her bowl, "Here you are, kehiban," she said with a smile. She handed her a fish cake tube as well, "and for the baby," she gave bolt a pat. She grabbed the other bowl and shuffled to Jeremy, "Here," she deadpanned as she placed the bowl on the table.
"Oh, does this establishment not give out chopsticks along with a meal," Ayame slammed two chopsticks on the counter, glaring at him. He glared back, "Why thank you."
There was a long silence between the two. Hinata and Teuchi glanced at each other, "Ita-itadakimasu," the former said, breaking the tension and her chopsticks. Ayame crossed her arms and looked away, Jeremy began to eat along with Hinata.
"You don't eat like a proper woman," Jeremy said as he turned to Hinata, "Here, I can help you."
Bolt growled as Jeremy grew closer, "NO. That's-that's okay, thank you," she looked down into her food and continued to slurp.
The two had just finished their meal. Hinata had been extremely uncomfortable.
"Here's your bill," Teuchi grumbled.
Hinata reached for her wallet, but Jeremy spoke up. She hated when he did that, "No that's okay, Hirata, I got this," he cleared his throat, "I'll pay for this meal in exposure."
"Wha now? Is that a new type of money?" Ayame asked.
"No. I wouldn't expect a working class citizen to understand," Ayame growled, "I'm pretty famous, I'll tell all of the nobles and influential people I know that this place serves good food," he finished with a nod.
Ayame twitched as she looked at Jeremy, "Can you just pay in cash?" She asked through clenched teeth.
Jeremy scoffed, "I mean, I could, but you would be missing out on so much more potential money. Think about it-"
"Here," Hinata handed Ayame a small handful of money, "I'm going home Jeremy. It was nice to see you."
"Hey wait," the boy said as he got up, "But you still owe me."
Hinata was confused, "For what?"
"Well, I took you for dinner, you owe me for that."
She raised an eyebrow, "I had to pay for it."
"Well yes, theoretically."
There was a long pause, "What does that even mean?"
"Nevermind. I will accept payment in sexual favors," he held out his hand. For her to place the sexual favors into, of course.
Hinata couldn't help but laugh. It was so pathetic, "No, I have a boyfriend," she tried to be as polite as possible.
Jeremy scoffed, "Whatever. I doubt he's anything compared to me."
"Yeah, you're right, you're nothing like him."
"Don't get snarky with me. Maybe I'll just show you how great I am!" He lifted his hand up high in the air, and brought it down. A loud crunch and a shriek could be heard.
It had been a couple days in the land of iron. The land of wind, fire, water, and lightning were all on good terms. The land of earth, however, was being very difficult.
"I wish that the old fence sitter would just compromise already," Shisui said.
"I know. It's pretty dull," representative of the discussion below, the lands of fire, water, wind, and lightning bodyguards were all sitting together.
"Yeah, you can say that again," Kankurō paused, "I wouldn't have expected you guys to compromise so easily with the plan," he gestured to the hidden cloud bodyguards.
"Sorry, I guess. Why did you think that?
"Well, what do you have to gain from it?"
"Not much to gain, but we kinda owe the hidden leaf. Naruto and Jiraiya specifically," Yugito Nii spoke. Naruto nodded.
"Wow really? You guys too?" Kankurō laughed, "What do you owe him for? Probably saved your jinchūriki or something."
Yugito laughed, "Spot on, Suna. He was in the hidden cloud when one of our jinchūriki, yours truly, was attacked by the Akatsuki. If it weren't for him, I would've been a goner."
Kankurō laughed again, "No way! I was just kidding. We had a similar situation with the old fart down there," he pointed to Gaara, "A couple times actually."
"I'm starting to think you're behind all of this, Naruto," Temari said as she glared at him.
"Would you believe me if I told you I helped with the hidden stone's jinchūriki. Those guys over there are actually cool," Naruto leaned back into his seat, and gave a clandestine wave, prompting Kurotsuchi to shoot him a peace sign, "That oldie is just super stubborn."
"I'm on to you, Uzumaki. There's no way this could be a coincidence," Temari muttered.
"Yeah, and I'm onto you and Shikamaru-ttebayo," she choked and stuttered. Shisui and Kankurō laughed, "Don't hurt my boy," Naruto continued.
"You young ones are all the same," Aō muttered. He felt Mei glare up at him, but looked up to avoid her gaze.
"Lord tsuchikage," Tsunade spoke below, "If it would suit you, we can just leave you out of all of this."
Ōnoki grumbled, "Hm. Right. And then you would all just band together to snuff me out."
"You really do not understand what a peace treaty is," Gaara shook his head.
"Enough. Why should I trust you, lord kazekage. You haven't even been alive for a fourth as long as I've been a shinobi. As far as I'm concerned, this meeting is over."
Gaara stood up, "I suppose it is. Am I correct in the assumption that the lands of fire, water, and lightning are in favor of this treaty?"
"The land of water is in favor."
"The land of lightning is the same."
"The land of fire is in favor."
"So is the land of wind," Gaara pushed his chair in, "Can I ask you something, lord tsuchikage?" The man didn't look at him, "When did you forsake yourself?" Hestood for a moment, stewing in his triumph. He turned and walked out of the room as the other Kage stared at the tsuchikage. Said old man snarled as the rest of the Kage got up, and left as well, their bodyguards following behind.
"Y'know, gramps, that kid really burned you."
"Shut up."
"I wonder what Hinata is up to."
"We know Naruto," Tsunade said, shaking her head, "It's all you've been talking about."
"Yeah," Shisui chuckled, "I'd say you're practically obsessed with her."
"Whatever. You're just jealous because you still can't talk to a woman your age-ttebayo."
"Yes I can!"
"I'll believe it when I see it," Naruto said smugly as he threw his arms behind his head. Tsunade just looked away sullenly, "Look I just miss her-ttebayo."
"Well look," he pointed to the gate quickly coming into view, "She's probably fine, she doesn't really get into trouble."
"Yeah you're right. I'm not worried about that anyway." They walked through the gate and noticed a large crowd gathering outside. They could hear a large commotion, "Come on let's go check it out."
"Oh, not so worried about your precious kehiban, eh?" Naruto growled.
"I've gotta report back to the Hokage tower. You two go on ahead if you like," Tsunade waved as she continued to walk. The two waved back to her as they moved over to where the crowd was. They made their way through the crowd and Naruto heard two familiar voices.
"Is that... Jeremy?"
"Whaa- what are you talking about?"
"Nothing-ttebayo. Not important."
They heard Hinata laugh, "No thank you, I have a boyfriend."
Shisui looked at Naruto, "What? Yeah that's me, Shisui, real good detective work there."
"Whatever. He's probably nothing compared to me."
"Naruto, aren't you going to help her?"
"Help her with what? She's not some damsel in distress or something-ttebayo. Just watch. Don't miss the fireworks"
"Yeah, you're right, you're nothing like him."
"Don't get snarky with me. Maybe I'll just show you how great I am." Shisui stared in awe as the kid lifted his arm up high. Naruto was unphased.
"You're really not worried about this?" Shisui heard a loud slap and a scream. He feared the worst.
"WOOOOO!" Naruto's sudden scream startled Shisui, "Shisui you missed the best part," he tilted his head to Naruto, then he turned to see Hinata now on the boy's back The kid's left arm was touching his right elbow across his back.
"Woah."
"GET OFF ME YOU WITCH! YOU WRETCHED WHOR- AAACK!"
"Please watch your language," Hinata pulled the arm farther to her right, almost popping the arm out of its socket. Bolt bit at the boys other arm, causing him to yelp out an, 'Oh dear.'
Naruto walked out from the crowd, hands in his pockets, "Way to go! Woooo, Hinata," she looked up and saw a smiling Naruto. She leapt up and ran to him, squeezing him hard.
"Naruto-kun I-I-
I'm sorry."
He laughed, "What are you sorry about?"
"I shouldn't have hurt him. I-"
"Oh nonsense. It was self defense-ttebayo. Hey Jeremy," Naruto waved to him as he got up, "What brings you back to town?"
He grunted as he climbed back up, "Well I came to find some fine women, but apparently none of them know how to repay a man for dinner."
"I HAD TO PAY FOR IT!"
"Whatever. Things just never work out for nice guys like me," he 'hmphed' and stormed off.
"Well that was weird," Hinata nodded in agreement as she buried her head in Naruto's chest. He picked bolt up and placed him on his own head, "You did all that while carrying groceries? You really are strong-ttebayo." She beamed up to Naruto. He looked and saw Ichiraku, Ayame and Teuchi waved, "Do you mind if we-"
"I'm starving. Let's eat."
They both sat down and the crowd dispersed. Shisui followed them inside and sat next to Naruto, "Three-"
"I already know what you're ordering," Ayame laughed, "Who was that guy, Hinata? The one sitting next to you."
"Oh, yeah, that's... Jeremy."
Naruto choked on his food and started to giggle, "You went on a date with Jeremy?"
He continued to laugh as she frowned, "It wasn't a date," she slapped his arm and pouted, "Stop laughing at me!"
"Yeah, he was really rude. No way in hell that was a date."
"Oh now I'm interested, I want to know what Jeremy did."
"I'm sorry," Shisui spoke, "Who the hell is Jeremy? Did I miss something?"
"No not really. He's just a huge jerk-ttebayo, he was the one Hinata beat up."
"I didn't beat him up," she hit his arm again.
"Right. Anyway, tell me about the deal with Jeremy."
Naruto had just finished his 6th bowl, Shisui threw in the towel a while ago at 3, and Hinata was on her 2nd. Naruto was slurping like a madman, "You know, it never ceases to amaze me how different you two are," Shisui said as he leaned against the wall. Naruto looked up from his bowl mid-slurp, and Hinata looked up as she wiped her mouth. Shisui laughed and took a sip of his water, "Nevermind."
The couple was walking home after their plentiful meal. Hinata had asked Naruto to carry her, so he obliged. Bolt sat on her stomach, "Your dad has been bugging me about you staying with me."
"Oh. He would be against it."
"No, actually, the exact opposite. It weirds me out."
"Oh quit worrying about it. It works out for us."
"Yeah I guess," he looked at her. He couldn't help but smile.
"What is it? What're you smiling about?"
"What? Oh nothing," he looked away.
She tugged on his shirt, "Narutoooo, tell me!"
"No, I wasn't smiling."
She leaned her head into his chest, "Baka."
As they were walking, Naruto spotted some familiar blonde hair, and an even more familiar pair of floral pajamas, "Itachi? Ino? What are you two doing out here? Together? Are you plotting something?"
"Oh um we, uh we're just-"
"It's nothing, Naruto," Itachi interrupted Ino's stammering.
Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Okaaay... well have fun." Itachi smiled and Ino let out a loud, awkward laugh.
"Do you think he knows?" Ino asked.
"Knows about what?" Itachi smiled.
"Grr. I hate when you do that."
"Do what?"
"You're doing it again!"
Obito was beyond frustrated. Nagato had completely ruined the plan. He used Rinne rebirth prematurely, and to top it off, the Rinnegan had been destroyed. The main part to the plan, no, the entire plan had been thrown away. Most of the Akatsuki dispersed as well. It was him, Zetsu, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hidan. He was destroying anything in his path out of pure frustration. He let out a scream and fell to the ground, "Why are you so frustrated?" Zetsu asked.
"What do you mean why am I frustrated? The entire plan has been foiled. The Rinnegan has been destroyed."
"So then we'll make another," Obito looked up, "You already have Hashirama's DNA, so all we need to do is implant something from Madara."
"What? It's that simple?"
"It might take a long time, but yes. We must combine the DNA of Asura and Indra."
"Who?"
"That's not important. We must find Madara. Quickly." There was another option, however. A boy from a prestigious bloodline was out there somewhere. Zetsu could corrupt him, much like with Indra. In fact, he believed the boy to be Indra's incarnate. The boy was no Indra, however. He didn't possess any particular talent, but his hate was tremendous. It would be a challenge for this incarnate to beat Asura's latest. That Ōtsutsuki on the moon had really beefed up Asura this go around. It would be tough, but zetsu has done harder things. This would be the destined cycle, greater than the days of Hashirama and Madara. It was sure of it.
:D ohayo!