Mottomo tanjun'na kokoro ga mottomo shiawasedesu:
The simplest heart is the most happy.
-
Hinata shot up in her hospital bed.
"Careful. You'll get dizzy."
"Oh right. How long has it been? Who are you?"
"Which one do you want an answer to first?" Hinata looked over to the voice.
It was Danzō. She had no need to get an answer to the second question now, "The first."
"It's still Friday," Danzō looked at the clock, "11:39. Only 6 hours, give or take."
"And I'm already recovered?"
"Not fully. I'm surprised that I have to tell you this, but you're mostly immobile."
Hinata looked down at her hand, which she attempted to move. Attempted,"Right. Ano- lord Danzō?" He looked at her, "Why are you here? If I may."
"You may," he joked, "I wish to speak with you about your lover," Hinata winced a little, "Are you hurting? Shall I go?"
"No... ano... can you not say lover?"
"Beloved?" She shook her head, "Honey-dearest?" Another head shake, "Boo-thang?"
"You should just say Naruto."
"Ah of course," he nodded, placing his hands on his cane, "This was just a test. To see if there was another 'boo-thang'," she nodded. Danzō cleared his throat, "I would like to clear some things up. About Naruto," there was a silence as Hinata looked to the man as fast as she could. It was incredibly slow, but chakra exhaustion and such, "If now is not a good time for... graphic stories, then I'll come back."
"It's okay. I will be okay. I think. I think I will be okay."
"You are still rather unconfident," She looked down, "Well, this is not a very lighthearted story. This will be your only warning. If you wish to hear it another time, I will stop."
Hinata sat in thought for a moment.
'Did she want to hear this?' She asked herself. She also asked herself why she would want to hear this. It wasn't like Naruto's life was any of her business. But that didn't change the fact that she wanted to know.
'Better to tear off the bandage. But if you tear it off too soon, the scab might come with it.' She thought to herself, 'Oh damn it. Who am I to be making metaphors right now.'
"I'll hear it," she spoke in a near whisper.
Danzō started to stand up, pressing down on his cane, "I will come back another-"
"Lord Danzō," she belted. Well, she spoke in a normal tone, but compared to her previous speaking, it sounded like the shouts of the great Dovah long ago. It was like burning your tongue on room temp gazpacho soup because you expected it to be ice cold, "I wan- I NEED you to tell it to me."
Danzō sat back in his chair. He contemplated for a moment, placing a hand over his lips, "Why?" He asked.
There was a pause, "I feel like I don't know him. At least as well as everyone else."
"That's why?"
"Well, just give me a second!" She blurted in exasperation. She tried to bring her hand up to cover her mouth, but realized she was moving to slow for it to have any affect. She dropped her arm back to the bed, "You just put me on the spot-ttebayo! I felt rushed- I mean- Ano- I'm sorry for being rude!"
Danzō put a hand up as he let out a laugh, "Please, please, take a deep breath," Hinata obliged, "He must've really rubbed off on you. You even speak like him now," he joked.
"I just think it's cool, y'know?"
"What's that?"
"That he has his own catchphrase."
Danzō nodded, "I suppose. I'm not too in touch with what's cool these days," Hinata nodded, "Enough of that. Take some time to think of why you need to hear about Naruto."
"Right," Hinata responded. She took a moment, although it was quite hard to think with Danzō staring a hole through her head. He was quite good at that, "My answer is the same," Danzō started to stand, "Wait! Let me explain why." Danzō stayed crouched, squatting over the seat for a moment. He gave her a nod and sat back down, "There's just so much time before we met, so much about him that I don't know. He won't tell me anything. I love him with all of my heart, but I can only console him so much without knowing what troubles him."
"Explain. That last part. Consoling?"
"Were you there, after The Great Pain? When Naruto panicked and bolted off?" Danzō nodded, "Well, I knew better than to ask him what caused that, but I just came out of it so confused. So many questions," she shook her head and squinted in thought, "He kept muttering stuff and was very- ano... excitable. Very jumpy," she sighed, "I want to know so I can be sure that I'm not causing him to panic from normal conversation. I know not to talk about fire pokers... and the moon, but I don't know why. It's like swimming with my eyes closed. In the ocean."
Danzō sat in silence for a moment, staring intently at the wall in front of him. He would wait for Hinata to speak, then interrupt her almost as soon as she began. It was a classic, tried and true method to establish a no-nonsense, straightforward tone.
Hinata waited patiently for a response. She hated interrupting people, and she had just finished talking. It was only polite to allow the other person to speak their part, rather than divulge multiple different trains of thought. The silence was rather uncomfortable, but she could bear it for the sake of politeness.
Nearly 3 minutes of silence passed, neither party budging in their ways. A bird flew by the window, "Morons! Morons!" It squawked.
"Ahem," Danzō cleared his throat, "Would you like to add anything else?"
"No. I was just wai-"
"It all began 13 or so years ago," Hinata closed her mouth and listened intently, "I'm sure you've heard of Naruto's taboos. The moon, fire pokers," he looked at her, she nodded, "Bones?" She shook her head. "Well, the first two, happened in the same event. The event that brought me to Naru, and the event that a great deal of his trauma can be traced back to."
Danzō closed his eyes. He brought his hands to his lips, and sighed, "This is one of the darker ones. I suppose it's actually the darkest story. Period," Hinata looked worried, "Are you sure?"
Hinata hesitated, "Are you sure this is all okay with Naruto?" Danzō nodded. Hinata took a deep breath, "Yes. I'm ready."
"As you know, Naruto's parents are dead," Hinata nodded, "So when Naruto was growing up, he stayed in an orphanage," Danzō sighed, "You know Orochimaru, yes?"
"Yes."
"Well, to give some context, Orochimaru would kidnap children from orphanages all across the five great nations for experimenting," he shook his head, "It turns out, most of the time, the village populace doesn't much care about orphaned children," Hinata's bottom lip lowered, and her eyebrows scrunched from the mixture of shock and horror she felt. Danzō let out a sigh, "Not even the old Kage cared that much. Hiruzen was a minor exception."
"H-h-h," she choked on air. "Seriously?" Danzō nodded, "How awful."
"The way people used to think was... at best, selfish. If someone was upset about the loss, it was most likely because their country lost out on future soldiers. The sins of the past are best left forgotten. It'll only cause you more trouble to dwell."
"Right, but," she sighed, "It doesn't hurt to mourn them. Especially since, if what you say is true, we would be the first to do so."
Danzō never thought of that. They had no one to feel sad for their loss. They had all probably been killed. He thought sheer amount of children who never had the chance to grow up. Those who already had lived a markedly worse life than most had it worsened exponentially, and then completely snuffed out, then there was no one to pay respects to them.
Bleak. So incredibly bleak.
The thought made him incredibly depressed, "Then let's have a moment of silence. In their honor," Hinata nodded.
They sat there for a minute, Hinata staring at the blue wall, Danzō planting his chin on his cane. "May I continue?" He asked as he raised his head, sitting back.
"Right. Ready."
"Naruto's orphanage was the target of one of these 'raids', for lack of a better term."
Hinata brought her hand back to her mouth, "Was he...?"
"He was the only child left behind," Hinata sighed in relief, "But that's not necessarily a good thing."
"Ano... what does that mean?"
"You see, Naruto wasn't always the people's hero," Hinata looked down solemnly.
She understood. Even in the academy days, there had been plenty of instances of micro aggression towards the boy. He had been spit on, whispered about, pointed and looked at with disgusting faces, and much more. You could name any act of dislike acceptable in a public setting, and Naruto most likely had been a victim of it. And that was just from when Hinata was around Naruto. When he would ignore it for the sake of keeping conversation, hoping against hope that no one else noticed.
Unluckily, Hinata noticed. And Hinata could be an expert sleuth if she needed. However, she found no answers from adults or her friends as to any reason the boy would be hated. It was incredibly disheartening for her to see: her friend, her idol whom she looked up to, be treated like dirt.
"Another man's trash," so they say.
Hinata just couldn't for the life of her understand who could meet Naruto and consider him trash. Stupid people, she concluded when she was young.
Even when she learned about what they actually feared inside Naruto, in her eyes, the people who hated Naruto were the same: Stupid people who don't care about others. The worst kind of stupid people: ignorant ones
Danzō continued, "The villagers would have hardly cared in any other scenario. But alas, mob mentality truly is a horrible thing," he sighed, "Although, the details surrounding it are very... fishy," he laid his left ankle atop his right thigh, "I must tell you about Naruto and the nine tailed fox. It is a high-class village secret, but it's crucial for your understanding."
"We already know," Danzō looked shocked. Hinata couldn't help but laugh a little, "I mean, he used it in the chūnin exams. I was there in person."
"Oh... you're okay with that?"
Hinata gave another laugh, and nodded, "I live with him."
"Oh right... right. Just had to be sure... Anyway, back to my point. You only learned about this when you saw it during the chūnin exams, correct?"
"Correct."
"Well, everyone who had memory of the attack learned about Naruto's status eventually. The late lord third, Hiruzen, enacted laws prohibiting mention of the nine-tails, but bad gas travels fast," he leaned his cane on his chair and leaned back, "They hated him for it. Subtle acts of hatred were not, and are not new to him, even after all he's done for this village," Hinata frowned as Danzō squeezed the arm of the chair, "Sorry," he eased up, "Easy to get worked up."
"It's okay. Let it all out. Whatever you need."
"Thank you. I'll be okay. Right: acts of hatred are not unexpected, sadly. However, the level of hate required for what was done to Naruto was... beyond what anybody held for the boy."
"What are you saying?" Danzō was silent, "What did they do to Naruto that warrants you saying it was 'beyond them'?"
Danzō looked into her eye. Her stare didn't waver. He shrugged, "Well then. Here we go," he cleared his throat, "After Orochimaru fled, for whatever reason, Naruto chose to stay in the orphanage, despite knowing of the existence of a mob. I always thought he had misremembered, or was just repressing his fear, but when he talks about it today, it seems like he was..." Danzō cleared his throat, "It sounded like he was calm in that moment. In that spot in the orphanage."
"Why do you think that?"
"He always says that he thought about sacrifice as he sat there. He didn't run, he mentions no panic or his heart racing. He just... sat there. Waiting for his punishment for a crime he knew nothing of." There was a long silence. Danzō coughed, "When the villagers arrived, it was everything you would expect from a mob. Pitchforks, torches, shouting, etc. The thing that haunted Naruto the most from it was the fire poker."
Hinata nodded, "and?" She asked hesitantly.
"And for good reason," he took another deep breath, "they all charged him. They tied him up, cut him to the bone across his body, and stabbed both eyes with the fire poker. We believed him to be dead on first inspection," Hinata let out a small whimper. Her eyes had slammed shut some time during Danzō's recounting. She was squeezing the sides of the bed as flat as cardboard. She felt dizzy. Sick.
He wasn't showing it, but divulging the old story pierced Danzō's heart as well.
Hinata felt her faith in humanity slipping slightly, "And this is all true?" Danzō gave a small, tired nod.
"The last thing he saw was the moon. That's why he feared it so deeply before."
Hinata couldn't say a word. She just sat there in awe and shock. Her mind was torn, scattered into:
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Sadness
Confusion
Frustration
Rage
Loathe
Horror
Depression
"Hinata?" Danzō asked the girl. She sat, jaw and fists clenched, her eyes still closed as she tried to calm herself down.
"I'm okay," She whispered as her body relaxed. She felt so... betrayed. Apparently, most everyone didn't care about abducting orphans, and in top of that, she had been living in a village that was responsible for so much torture towards the person she respected most.
An even worse thought was that somebody had manipulated a group of villagers to attack Naruto. It scared Hinata, knowing that there might be someone out in the world so ruthless that they would try to kill a 2 year old child.
Danzō stared for a moment, as Hinata opened her eyes and slowly reared her head towards him, "Good. Rest. I've said what I needed to say. Adios, muchacho." Danzō has recently been practicing new ways to say goodbye. He had to test different vocabulary in different moods. 'Adios, muchacho' is not a greeting fit for an intense mood. Or maybe it was perfect.
Hinata exhaled a laugh through her nose, "Okay... ano, what about when he was anbu?"
"What about it?
"Ano... what did he do?"
"Escorted government high profile individuals, occasionally recovered priceless artifacts, and did plenty of spy work," Danzō paused in the doorway. He crossed his arms behind his back, "It was mostly assassination, however."
Hinata's eyes widened, "So he's... ki-" she choked, "Killed people?"
Danzō stares into the ground for a brief moment. He nodded, "Yes: bad people. Yet that's beside the point. He has killed, yes."
"How does he sleep at night?" Exasperation spanned her face, "Ano... how does he live with that?"
Danzō looked down in silence. He walked over to the blinds and rubbed his chin, "I hate to put any pressure on you, but his friends have been the main thing keeping going," he twiddled with the stick for the blinds. He yanked down, revealing the bustling street outside. "After a... traumatic event, he was practically emotionless. But that was before he had any friends."
"What was the 'incident'?" She raised an eyebrow.
"It was enough to depress Naruto. Is that enough for you?" She gave no reply, "It's not. Very well," he gave a sigh, "I consider it one of my greatest failings," Danzō's hand floated forward, resting itself on the windowsill, "A transmission from a spy came in one night. Unluckily for the both of us, Naruto happened to be sitting nearby when it came. It was an infiltration mission. Orochimaru was absent from his main hideout," his stopped and sighed.
"And...?"
"Naruto has a special ability. One akin to the sharingan," he turned to her, "It allows him to copy any ability. Things like kekkei genkai, fighting styles, chakra natures, and so on," he shuffled to the bed, and took a seat at it's foot, "He was there to copy a unique trait rumored to be in Orochimaru's possession, as well as free any subjects of his tests," he pursed his lips and looked away, "But... it wasn't that simple. I curse myself for thinking it could be."
"What... happened?"
Danzō sighed, "There were several tubes containing child experimentation. 'Free' is a loose term in this situation. They were freed, but were unable to survive outside of the tubes," Hinata joined Danzō in staring out the window, "They died shortly thereafter."
"Why?" She rubbed her forehead, tears broke through the gate holding them back, "Why did you let him do this? He was so young," Hinata frowned, "Shouldn't you have... stopped that?"
"He sets his mind to things, becomes unwavering, and won't listen to reason. I assume you understand this," she sighed. Wires dragged her head up and down, creating a nod, "Once he heard 'Orochimaru', he was going."
"But he was- what- 5? 6? He shouldn't have been up for that mission in the first place." Hinata was starting to feel frustrated, "He shouldn't have even been anbu in the first place!"
"Have you heard of Inari?"
"The god of foxes. Yes I have... why? Don't change the subject."
Danzō chuckled, "He was an anbu agent. Inari-sama was his code name," Danzō looked up in thought, "Come to think of it, in all my years as head of anbu, I've never seen Naruto and Inari-sama in the same room. Huh, weird..."
Hinata's eyes widened, her mouth agape in realization and shock, "Really?? He was...? For how long?"
"Since he started: 5 years old."
Hinata turned on her side, away from the window, "I don't think I want to hear any more. Would you mind if I went to sleep?"
"No. No, not at all. I'll leave you now." Danzō walked to the door. He stopped, staring out into the hallway, "You are allowed to be upset. Allowed to disagree with me, my decisions, or Naruto and his. You must remember that," he turned to her, "But do not neglect that Naruto is a human being, for better or worse. Same with me, although to a much lesser extent," he exhaled a laugh through his nose, "Jūgo will be accounted for, do not worry. Sleep well."
'Who the hell is Jūgo?' Hinata wondered. Her brain was not running at full capacity, not surprisingly. Usually explosions, like the one Hinata just received, gum up the works a bit.
Was Naruto a murderer?
Was he responsible for the deaths of those test subjects?
Hinata sighed as she rolled over, choosing the gleaming lights to the drab, sad wall. Naruto was the bright light in her eyes. She shifted back to the wall. Back to the window. She flopped back and forth, trying to get comfortable. All to no avail.
Nothing seemed right. There was a horrid taste in her mouth, her head hurt, her kneecaps itched, and her eyes wouldn't close. She couldn't stop thinking. Her mind kept wandering back to Naruto.
'He has killed people before he was in the academy. How come he's so... cheerful? So happy all the time. Has he gotten over it all? Did he ever care in the first place?'
She would have to talk to Naruto. A real deep talk. She let out one more sigh as she faced the window.
"What makes someone worthy of forgiveness?"