Author's notes!::: OKAY SO I AM TRASH. I forgot this was on FF. So the chapters before this have been updated/changed, PLUS there are a bunch more chapters on AO3 same username, I am so sorry. I've only been able to focus on one thing at a time and even then it's been... hnnnngh. Anyways. Old here, new here, welcome or welcome back. I will update this every few days until it is caught up with AO3 if you'd prefer to space it out a bit. I'm sorry! And if you are reading any of the other fics on here hahahahaha omg I really am so sorry. So... So... sorry. T.T... especially if it's Keeping Hope Alive...
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And they ran... They ran, and ran fast and frantic out of town. Past the Snowdin sign and back out the way they'd came... And Sans..
There was a sensation in his rib cage that is high and euphoric at the sight, and also at the slow, building realization... at what all this meant... at something that hadn't been true in a very long time... And so, when they ran, fast and frantic out of town, Sans was there to meet them...
He stood in his place by the bridge with hands in his pockets and a wide smile on his face.. The 'Human' came racing, their breathing still uneven and their entire posture, it's clear panic. It's clear that they had needed to escape from prying eyes, but Sans be damned if he gave it to them.
There is a morbid satisfaction Sans feels as they notice him standing there because its clear they hadn't been expecting him. It's also clear that in contrast to how they've acted this entire time- not caring if he say them outside of their act- they very much cared now. They turned their back towards him immediately and came to a sharp stand still.
And there was silence between them, Sans content in just letting his presence and perhaps his knowing, be known.
The 'Human' kept their back turned towards Sans but even so Sans could see they had begun to shake in their now-wet clothes, and how their hands lifted to cover their mouth and nose. Sans stayed smiling, it growing wider by the second.
And that was awful. He knew that. That was sick. But they were sick.
They deserved it. They deserved all of this and more.
Excuse him for not feeling as cut up about it as he could have been.
... The minutes pass..
Maybe more than a few minutes pass..
Finally, the 'Human' began to lower their hands.. slowly, tentatively... and they let out a few shuttered breaths. Their entire stance straightened and they held their grip in tight fists... Their shoulders arched even more upwards... almost protectively.. as they finally spoke weakly-
"S-Sans...?" They kept their gazed fixed forward toward Snowdin, not at all on Sans. He briefly considers not responding... To force them to look at him, to see if he was even there or had disappeared, but... that euphoria spurs him on..
"geez, kid... you look like something's got you super rattled. like you've been chilled to the bone." His voice is pure taunt, not a hint of true concern. The 'Human' stays standing with their shaking back turned, their fists tight.
"Sans... I need to... I need to ask you a favor..." Sans felt a fire stirring inside his chest, in his eyes.
"yeah?" He asked darkly. The 'Human' seemed to flinch and there was another tense moment...
"I have to make it to Asgore." They said finally, quickly, as if to get it out of the way.
Sans hummed, pretending to think it over.
"well... how about we just... i don't know... skip everything, huh? i can take you straight to asgore, and you can leave, or die, or whatever, and that'll be the end of it?"
Nobody dead and the thing in front of him gone forever. It sounded like a grand deal. Though a part of him, an extremely hurt part of him raged that it was not enough.. but he pushed that part down...
For now.
The 'Human', though, was shaking their head.
"oh?" Sans asks in fake curiosity. They cowered in on themselves.
But finally, after another moment, another round of gathering up their courage, what little bit of true determination they still held, the 'Human' began to turn to face him. Even so, they don't look up, not fully, instead they are staring at the base of his neck and Sans can just barely see the red through their uneven bangs...
"as long as you get to asgore whats the matter in how you do it?"
There really is no denying the flinch and that euphoria Sans feels... he knows what it is called... It's power... Power. Something he hasn't had in so long. Power.. Intoxicating power after being helpless for so long...
"I..." The 'Human' started... "I can't." The red eyes closed and they shook their head more forcefully. "I can't."
They just can't..
"I have to go through. I have to do all of this." All of this. As in the Underground. They just had to see every outcome, every option through hadn't they? Couldn't give up the game even if they were losing it, couldn't-
"I just... I'm not..." Sans wonders how painfully their nails are digging into their palms.. "I can't do it alone." Their breathing was quickening again, their head falling forward. "I need someone to keep me going. I'm not..."
They swallowed down thickly.. they again shook their head.
"I'm not asking you to help me get around, or make sure I don't have to FIGHT. I just..." There was a deep breath. "I just need someone to keep me going. I need.. I need you to back me up! So I don't give up!"
They shook a fist slightly as their voice grew weak...
"I need somebody to hold me accountable.."
"... accountable?" Sans asked. His eye socket twitched, on the verge of flaring dangerously. His nightmare. His bore bones. This anxiety and fear that wouldn't go away. He can't help but laugh. It's low. It's dark. It's menacing. The 'Human' looked up in terror, and just that knowledge, that reaction, it gave Sans the final push he needed. "accountable... if we're holding you accountable then, why not talk about knives and glowing red eyes? the stuff of nightmares. and pain. lots of it."
Sans was unnaturally pleased at the expression they're wearing. The red eyes were wide and horrified. And damn, he hated them. He hated them so much. For what they did. To Papyrus. To him. They're sick. Twisted. And he hated them.
And now that he knew there was a chance he could actually do something about all this... If it weren't for that promise...
"let's stop pretending for a moment that you're actually human." Sans said, his chin falling dangerously.
They shrink back, taking a half a step away as they stare. He's enjoying every second of this, he can't deny it. Can't hide it.
"even if i don't remember everything, i know what you are. you... human? heh. no, kid, you... you are a demon. those red eyes from my nightmares. your twisted smile. you're a freak. a freak and a demon."
He could see them trembling even more. Good. Maybe they'd even get sick later, that would be a nice change. Just a bit of karma.
"and you have some gull to ask me for help." He spat. "i'm not buying it. i'm not playing your game." He laughed grimly at that. "you losing your determination? great. that means i actually have a chance to keep things safe. you giving up is my victory after all, isn't it?"
But something within them sparked at those words. Their terrified expression twisted in anger; teeth clenched as they breathed rapidly, as they glared at him with those fierce reds.
A demon through and through-
"and since you're not actually human, killing you wouldn't actually be a problem for me, right? and i'll do it. the moment you touch Papyrus or anyone else. yeah kid, i'll hold ya accountable… just this once."
Their anger snapped.
"How?!" They demanded.
"sorry?" Sans asked, his eye flaring to life, willing to just show them how, but they weren't phased in their burning anger.
"You can remember me?" They demanded as Sans' smile twisted. "Then how?"
They took a new step forward and the anger was radiating off of their entire being but Sans didn't back down even if he wasn't quite getting what they were getting at with this-
"How can you remember anything about me and forget them completely?!"
"who kid?" Sans taunted. And oh how they were seething in anger! Struggling to breathe as their face reddened.
"You..." They finally managed to grown but the anger was eating them up and they couldn't continue for a moment. Sans stood smug at their true colours finally showing. So much for the meek glances and small smiles... "How could you have forgotten everything?"
They more than anyone should know how that, the remembering and the forgetting, works. But Sans couldn't get in any snark as their voice broke, the red eyes saddened..
"Even if it's just a feeling... How..." They shook their head. "How can you just shove it aside so easily? How can you not... Not want to fight for it?"
"i don't know, i'm admittedly feeling pretty feisty at the moment tibia honest."
The embers in their eyes flared back to life; his did the same. Their face contorted and their fist rose, but then their fingers curled out and back in again. They wanted to hurt him, he could see it, but they stood still. Their teeth were still gritted together and they were struggling to keep their breath even. Finally they lowered their arms forcefully and kicked the snow in front of them in his direction, though it didn't reach him.
"you wanna have a go, kid?" He asked darkly.
"NO!" They shouted. "That's just it! I don't want to fight you! That's the entire point!"
How could so much rage be held within such a small body? Maybe they weren't exactly a demon. They were a house fire concealed in flesh.
"funny way of showing it then."
"You're just so frustrating!" They shouted. "What's the point of talking?! You won't listen! Ever! And you always know too much but at the same time never enough! Just..."
They were shaking, jerking, wanting to keep throwing insults at him, but-
"This isn't about me! Isn't about me at all!" They were saying. They were grasping at the sides of their head. "You stupid! Stupid!" They growled suddenly and they looked pointedly at Sans. "IDIOT!"
They're heaving as they turned away from him and began to storm back towards Snowdin. Sans reached out his hand forcefully, grabbing their Soul.
He heard them gasp in terror as they felt it. He dragged them back, their body falling to the ground. He dragged them through the snow a ways, getting it under their shirt and up their pant legs before he released them. They twisted on the ground, turning back towards him, their elbows propping them up as they watched him murderously.
"sorry, just thought you needed to chill." He said blankly, but inside the euphoria had returned full force...
They don't SPARE him. They FLEE. And Sans lets them. He lets them.
"do you think that anger will work as a substitute for determination?!" He called after them.
They twisted back and were shouting forcefully.
"I can stay determined just fine!" They raged. "And I will! Watch me! Just watch!"
Their anger spurred them around towards the town again. Sans continued to smile menacingly as he teleported knowingly and watched them storm up to the "mysterious" spot. They punched the air with a small scream and they stood there, breathing heavily as the fire in their eyes slowly died in realization. And Sans… A horrible weight was being lifted off of his chest and he laughed. Actually laughed, and his smile was real, though cruel.
Because now they couldn't even take that conversation back. They couldn't make him forget everything he knew unless they RESET, and he wasn't sure they even could.
Their hand fell, their fingers curling and uncurling, as if wanting something to hold as they stared at the empty space. They were murmuring to themselves again, and this time Sans could make out what it was.
"Stay determined." They were breathing. "Stay…."
But they weren't determined. And Sans knew it. And Sans… Sans could stop them. He could actually stop them.
If that's what it came down to! He actually had that option!
And there was an intense, utterly intense relief as they made their way out to face his brother...
But relief turned to tension when they were actually in front of Papyrus...
"HALT, HUMAN! HEY, QUIT MOVING! I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY-"
But the moment they were halfway to him Papyrus stopped short in soft realization and to Sans' horror, he was quickly on his knees and meeting them halfway in the hug.
Sans was frozen off to the side as he watched, but Papyrus... he only held them tighter after a silent moment..
"YEAH.. THIS IS ALL I WANTED TO SAY, TOO."
