I'm just gonna go ahead and say that this chap is solely Jazmine-centered
I know you guys are used to jumps in the POV, and honestly so am I, but it didn't feel right ya know?
Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it!
Over the Skyline
Jazmine couldn't remember a time where she felt such an overwhelming flurry of negative emotions before then.
She didn't think there was such time, her life had always been quite cheerful so far. She had friends, lived in a nice house, attended a good school, still had both sets of grandparents and, in fact, she reckoned that the gloom experience of attending a funeral wasn't even something that she ever had to go through.
She swam in privilege, which was why feeling like this was something so foreign to her.
The weight of what she had witnessed was so great that it wouldn't be surprising if it crushed her from the inside out. It was hard to breathe. It was impossible to think. Her mind simply replayed scenes of the night before like it was a short film. She couldn't run from it. She couldn't run from the facts, no matter how much she wanted to.
Sleeping was absolutely out of the question, and for a brief moment, she wondered when was the last time she had been truly well-rested. She had always been so energetic, hyperactive, anxious that being alone in the dark with her own thoughts as company had always been agonizing to her.
'Bedtime' was never something she looked forward to, but never before had she dreaded it so much.
It felt weird seeking refugee in a house that wasn't her own. the ceiling she had been staring at for the last several hours wasn't hers, She couldn't weep away for hours under her shower, the loud snores that reverberated through the thin walls didn't sound like her dad's, the sheets didn't smell like the laundry detergent her mom used...
And thinking about her mother made her fall into that spiral all over again.
It still felt surreal to her, though reality was slowly but surely setting in. She was painfully aware of the fact that she'd have to face the woman at some point during the next several hours, she just had to. There was no Huey, no Caesar, and especially no Cindy to save he ass this timer. She couldn't run to the hill and bury her head in the grass like a confused ostrich. That was a lion she'd have to kill herself, and that lion had Sarah DuBois' face printed on it.
That bitter feeling climbed up her stomach and she closed her eyes, actually wishing it was bile instead. At least she'd have a physical reason, an actual explanation, for feeling this ill. She knew she wasn't going to throw up though, even if she surely did want to purge her body of something.
God, she hated her mother right now. She hated her so much that it was almost scary, because she never imagined feeling such animosity towards someone she loved so much. But how dare she? How dare she be so careless? How dare she thrust such weight on the girl's shoulders?
Jazmine groaned, sitting up on the bed and burying her face on her hands, Huey's duvet falling miserably in a heap beside her feet. She couldn't be here anymore, the room suddenly felt far too stuffy and she was sure that she'd suffocate if her body was forced to be still.
She walked aimlessly down the stairs and almost jumped out of her skin upon seeing Huey just sitting there on the couch, face hidden behind the hardcover of a book, though his eyes were already trained on her before she even saw him and the girl was pretty sure he actually had some weird spidey senses, because she was pretty sure she had been as quiet as possible.
They stared at each other for maybe a moment too long. "What are you doing?" Jazmine felt her face getting slightly heated when they talked simultaneously, and she damned her mother once again for passing down the curse of blushing cheeks onto her.
"I had to go to the bathroom," Huey was the first one to talk. "Couldn't really get back to sleep, Riley snores too much," She nodded, wondering now if the noises she had been listening came from Mr. Freeman or Riley. "What about you?"
"Yeah uh," She subconsciously fidgeted with her hand. "I had a weird dream? Couldn't get back to sleep either."
Jazmine could almost feel Huey's eyebrow lifting. "Really?" She nodded, feeling inexplicably anxious under his gaze. "Because you kinda look like you haven't slept at all."
Her mouth set into a thin line. "Well, I did."
His maroon eyes bored into her jades, and sometimes she wondered if he could actually read minds or something, because there was no way someone could see straight through bullshit so easily. "If you say so..."
She let out a stream of breath. Was she really so daft that she couldn't even lie? She couldn't even come up with a good excuse as to why she was wandering around his house at ungodly hours of the morning like a hyperactive poltergeist?
"Are you just going to stand there?"
"Huh?" Huey's voice cut through her train of thought with the same bluntness as ever, but it made her heart thump uncomfortably inside her chest. Suddenly, she was painfully aware that she was still standing awkwardly on the last step of the Freeman's staircase. "Oh," Shyly, she made her way over to the boy and sat down on the other end of the sofa.
She could feel it coming. The thick silence gave it away, or maybe it was the way she could feel him examining her through the corner of his eyes like she was a nutcase. Either way, she knew what was going to come out of his mouth sooner or later.
It could be some variation of the sentence 'Are you okay?' but more likely it would be more along the lines of 'What's wrong with you?' because Huey was as tactful as a butcher was a good brain surgeon. It didn't matter much though, because she knew that either way whatever monster that was urging to be release would come out in the form of big fat tears and ugly sobbing, and she already felt quite pathetic enough.
"So…" God, that painful lump was already forming at the back of her throat. Absolutely ridiculous. She braced herself, but tried to not look like it. "Wanna go on a walk?"
This caught Jazmine so off guard that for a solid moment she could only blink at the floor she had been staring at, and then at his deadpan expression. "A what?" She thought he was joking for a minute, but then she reminded herself that this was Huey, and he didn't use his humor unless he was making sarcastic, scathing remarks.
"A walk, you know…" He gave her a slightly weird look. "When you use your leg muscles to move around?" Her point exactly.
"You're not funny," She rolled her eyes, looking out the large windows that made the Freeman's living room look bigger than it really was and noticing that while the sky was beginning to take on that purple-ish hue, it was still very much dark out. "Why do you wanna go on a walk?"
"It's not like we're doing anything here," He said, almost defensively. "At least we can try to tire ourselves out a little." it was a good enough explanation for her. In about five minutes they were out of the door, And if she actually cared about anything right now, she'd be at least slightly self-conscious about leaving the house wearing a pair of plaid boxer shorts, a very loose black panthers T-shirt and a random red jacket that was on the coat rack.
There was a stillness in the air that she wasn't exactly used to. It was too early for birds to be chirping. It was too early for anything really, especially on a Sunday morning. Maybe if it was a weekday people who worked at the city would be already leaving their houses, or if it was a Saturday, teenagers who lived a more agitated lifestyle than herself would be just arriving home. She had never realized how eerie Woodcrest seemed to get when there wasn't anything going on.
The town looked so perfect and pristine that it was unnerving, or maybe Jazmine was so on edge that everything aggravated her. Her mind wandered briefly back to her time in New York and she found herself comparing the two places. Here everything was so cookie-cutter, so clean that it almost felt like a movie set. Something made up. A replica of reality but yet not quite, and it freaked her out a little bit.
Jesus, was this how Huey felt all the time?
She doubted. Huey was a moody person who did have a rather negative outlook on life, but miserable? Not really. Moping wasn't his thing.
She heaved out a sigh, but didn't say anything. Neither dared to break the silence that engulfed them. The only sounds that could really be heard were their own footsteps trudging around the town as if they had somewhere to be. Jazmine hadn't even realized how long they had been walking until she noticed the once dark sky had become that pale, orange-ish color and she didn't have to squint to properly see stuff anymore.
She quickly glanced at her watch. Five-thirty on the dot. Had she ever even been outside this late/early?
"Let's sit here for a bit," Huey said, and Jazmine didn't know whether she was more surprised that he had said anything at all or that he decided to make a quick pit stop at a playground, of all places.
"You do this often?" She cut the silence that had fallen upon them once again and Huey gave her a questioning look as they sat around a colorful bench. "Wander around at the buttcrack of dawn I mean."
"Oh," His eyes looked up at the increasingly brighter sky and he shrugged. "I guess? Not recently actually. I used to do it more often when I had some trouble sleeping," She looked at him with a slight interest.
"You have trouble sleeping?" She didn't know why, but it felt weirdly nice to know that they shared this little nuisance. That even stoic, smart, serious people like Huey Freeman had little trivial troubles just like herself, and it's not that she wasn't aware that Huey was just another teenager that had similar teenage problems, but hearing it coming out of his own mouth was almost reassuring.
"It was worse when I was younger. I had a lot on my mind,"
"You still have."
"Maybe," He nodded. "But I'm better at coping with it now, I suppose."
She hummed in agreement and looked at him, noticing his wine-colored eyes glinting against the faint sunlight. I seemed as though he knew that soon enough it would get far too bright for him to look up at the sky comfortably, so he was focused on taking advantage of his last few moments of sky-gazing
He did that a lot, Jazmine had noticed a long time ago his slight fixation with the sky. She had caught him stargazing at the hill countless times, and whenever the weather was too cloudy he seemed to get even grumpier than usual. Either way, she never really pointed it out because it was just another one of those quirks that he'd deny having, and would stop whenever he caught himself doing.
She copied him and had to admit that it was actually quite calming. Watching the sky slowly go from pale pink to blue wasn't something she had ever really witnessed before.
"Do you have a lot on your mind right now?" She asked softly.
"Hm," He considered her question for a second. "I guess I do." She glanced his way, and noticed his eyebrows had slightly scrunched up, but he wasn't really scowling like usual.
"And are you coping with it?"
Huey was silent for a moment too long. She noticed his mouth was set a thin line and his expression seemed almost troubled. For a moment she thought he'd brush her off, or turn the focus of the conversation onto her, like he always did when he was put on the spot. But then he just sighed, his tense shoulders relaxing for a bit. "No. Not really." He admitted much to her surprise. "But...I'll get around to it eventually," Jazmine nodded. "Or at least I hope so." He added as an afterthought.
Jazmine wanted him to keep going. To pour his heart out to her and ask for advice as if he trusted her judgment, much like she did to him, but it was unlikely to happen. Sure, Huey had improved a lot from when he was a kid and realized he didn't have to be so painfully serious and closed off all the time, but he had more layers than an onion, and after six years of friendship Jazmine sometimes felt like she had just scratched the surface.
"Well, I hope you do too," She offered instead and an expression that Jazmine wouldn't have been able to describe fell upon his features so quickly she almost thought it was a product of her imagination.
The corners of his lips upturned ever so slightly though, and he quickly went back to look at the sky, but she hadn't missed it this time. He wanted to smile, at what exactly was anyone's guess, but she beamed herself, feeling slightly less shitty than before.
They arrived home at almost seven a.m, and neither were surprised to still find the house peacefully quiet.
Huey made a beeline to the kitchen as soon as he hung his jacket on the coatrack. "What do you want for breakfast?" He got started on the process of brewing some coffee. "We got all that poison you like...Bacon, sausages…"
"Uh, I'm not really hungry right now," She wasn't lying. Her stomach felt all sorts of weird, and she was still trying to decipher if it was purely the nerves or the yet to be digested hefty dinner Mr. Freeman had prepared the night before and she was too polite to decline. That itself had been anxiety-inducing.
Huey blinked at her, a frown etched on his face. "Well I'm not just gonna let you go hungry." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Did I not just say that I wasn't hungry?" The smell of coffee that would usually make her mouth water (she despised the taste but loved the smell) was making her feel slightly sick, just another reason not to eat breakfast.
He let out a stream of breath, rolling his eyes and it never ceased to amaze her how annoyed he could get so quickly. "I don't care Jazmine," the girl pulled a face. "You've gotta eat something. Breakfast actually is important and that's not just some bullshit people tell you." She gave a frustrated sigh and gave up, because for once she really didn't have the patience to get stuck on one of Huey's rants this early in the morning.
"There's some cereal on the cabinet. You don't have to be hungry to eat cereal." He stated, pouring coffee on his mug.
"Oh my God, fine!" Her voice sounded aggravated because why did he care so much? And why was she so annoyed that he did? Usually she found it cute because he really didn't care too much about other people, but now it just felt frustrating and overbearing. "Sounding like my-" She caught herself before she could finish that sentence and felt her cheeks burn. If Huey noticed, which of course he did, he didn't say anything.
She hastily busied herself by standing on her tiptoes and reaching for the box of honey nut cheerios and a porcelain bowl. She was over at the enough times to know where everything was. Huey was making himself a bowl of oatmeal filled to the brim with fruits, and she had to say she was surprised when he drizzled honey on top since Huey claimed to be a vehement hater of everything sweet.
They sat down at the kitchen table in silence for a while. Jazmine ate her cereal slowly but not too slow as she didn't want them to become soggy, but in between spoonfuls she noticed Huey glance her way every once in a while, looking rather fidgety for his character.
"If you have something to say then you should just say it," Huey looked at her with a frown, and Jazmine was slightly amused at how much he hated when people analyzed his behavior even though he constantly did the same to everybody else.
There was a beat of silence before "Can I ask you something?" She looked at Huey oddly, wondering why he felt the need to ask for permission instead of just blurting it out like he usually did.
"Sure?"
"Are you going to tell Tom?" His voice was carefully calculated, as if afraid she would explode again. Jazmine couldn't blame him, she probably didn't look like someone who was in a proper state of mind as of lately.
"I…" Truly, she hadn't thought about that just yet. It felt like the right thing to do, but the image of her father's broken face, the prospect of having to deal with more screaming and more fighting...it haunted her. She shuddered, gulping down an annoying knot that had formed on her throat. "I don't know."
"Hm," The fact that Huey seemed to be clearly walking on eggshells when he never ever acted like this irritated her. Of course it was a touchy subject, but if he wanted to share his opinion, which he was clearly itching to do, then she wished he would just say it instead of beating around the bush like her parents.
"Why do you ask?" She realized the roles were slightly reversed. Usually she would be the one trying not to make a moody Huey snap and just end up aggravating the situation because he absolutely hated it when people beat around the bush.
He opened his mouth to say something but then paused, hesitated, and clamped it shut again. "Nevermind. It's really none of my business."
"And?" She ate another spoonful out of her half-empty bowl just so she didn't look as irritated as she felt and made a face when she realized that the cereal had already turned soggy.
"I'm not Caesar." She almost laughed.
"It's never stopped you before." She quipped and Huey looked almost taken aback, but it was still true.
"I just...don't think it would be good for you to get any more involved in their mess." Jazmine paused for a second, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
"So...you're saying that I shouldn't tell him?" Huey shrugged, but nodded. She wasn't expecting to get this from him of all people, who was always so hellbent on the truth and never missed an opportunity to tell her just how harmful her blissful ignorance was. Well, she guessed that this rule only applied to politics, and not infidelity.
"I don't want to get involved," She admitted. "But I feel like I can't avoid it." She tried to run a hand through her hair but soon realized it was too tangled to do so, so instead she rubbed her eyes. "I mean, how can I pretend that everything's normal? How am I supposed to look at him?! How am I supposed to look at her and not feel..." She glared down at her bowl, her lips pursed. What exactly did she feel? Disappointment? Resentment?
She felt her insides slowly boil again and she hated it. She hated having so much anger inside her body. Hated how her teeth clenched and her knuckles turned white from how hard she was gripping her chair and how her nostrils flared up. This was so unfair. Unfair on his father, unfair on her.
"How am I supposed to sit through dinner?! How am I supposed to bid them good night and pretend like my father is not laying in a bed where she was fucking a random nigga-" She heard herself speaking before she could really think about it. It was baffling how a word she had never dared to say before just rolled off her tongue with such ease.
Huey didn't even try to hide his utterly shocked expression. He blinked at her a few times with his mouth gaping and eyebrows almost reaching the ceiling before clearing his throat as though he had just choked on his oatmeal. "Okay. Um. Wow."
"If you tell anyone I'll deny it."
"There's no point," He said after the quick wave of shock passed. "No one would believe me."
She scoffed humorlessly, feeling her legs bouncing up and down rhythmically in a quick pace. "She needs to come clean, it's her responsibility." Huey said after a beat of silence. "You shouldn't have to carry the weight of their fuck-ups."
She let out a heavy breath, nodding and yet avoiding her gaze because while she knew he was absolutely right, not telling felt too much like she was the one betraying him. She had witnessed it, she had full knowledge of the fact. Surely she could be held accountable for something?
Jazmine continued to eat her soggy breakfast in silence.
She must have stood there for a solid five minutes.
Frozen, glaring at her front door, very aware of the nausea that seemed to take hold of her entire body, but she couldn't get in. What if she walked in and her mom was right there in the living room? What was she supposed to do then?
It was only when she realized that sooner or later she was going to get the neighbors' attention that she shakily unlocked the door, trying breath her anxiety away. Was it really supposed to be such a struggle to walk in her own house? Was this her life now?
As soon as she walked in the foyer she could smell the lingering smell of wine, and grimaced as she saw the empty bottles that littered the island in the kitchen.
The ten a.m sun shone brightly through the windows, and if it was any other day Jazmine would probably be just waking up, wondering what she would do of her Sunday, probably go to Rasta's with everyone or maybe just happily take a day to herself before she had to another crazy week.
But when did things ever go as she planned?
"Jazmine?!" The girl winced at her mother's voice. She was half hoping the woman would be too hungover to get out of bed before noon. "Jazmine are you home?"
She didn't need to answer, as she could hear her footsteps descending down the stairs. She had half a mind to just turn on her heels and run, but she stood her ground, trying to look less anguished than she really was. "I was worried about you."
"I'm sure you were." Jazmine retorted spitefully. She heard her mother let out a breath, descending the rest of the way down to the living room. The scowl on her face was almost as pronounced as the Freeman's, but it softened when she looked at the woman.
Her face looked pasty, though her crimson eyes and cheek contrasted harshly against it. She was still wearing the same robe as yesterday, and Jazmine felt a harsh sting on her chest for knowing she was the reason for such state.
The girl shook her head, feeling her face boil. She couldn't get like this! She wasn't the one at fault. The hangover, the humiliation...whatever it was, her mom brought this upon herself!
So why the hell did she feel so guilty?
"Please don't be like this," She tried to be stern, but her voice was so weak it was almost pathetic.
"Oh, you don't think my reaction is appropriate?" Her tone could match Huey's sarcasm almost perfectly. She wasn't raising her voice - she didn't want to. "Tell me mom, how do you think I should be?"
Sarah stood there for a moment, seemingly debating whether or not this was a rhetorical question. "Jazmine…" She sighed, wrapping her arms around her chest, looking smaller than Jazmine had ever seen her. "I know this is really hard for you-"
"Do you mom?!" She scoffed. "Do you really?!"
"Jazmine, can we talk? Please?!" Jazmine wanted to say no. To turn her back and slam the door on her face like she had done yesterday, and she might have done it, but her mother's broken face, her pleading eyes full of guilt kept her glued to the spot.
"What is there to talk about?" Sarah's eyes leaked onto her face, her nose turning that telltale shocking red. "What needs to be said? I don't want explanations, I don't want you to try and justify what you did. I know your marriage has gone to shit!" She tried to ignore how weird that word felt on her mouth. "I have known for a long time, because you two don't even have the decency to keep it to yourselves!" And there went her leveled voice.
"I'm sorry, okay?!" Sarah snapped shrilly. "You weren't supposed to be caught up in the midst of all of this!"
"Why are you two even married still?!" her voice went high in frustration, tears running down her face at a quick pace. "You can't stand each other! It's so obvious it's embarrassing!"
Her mother's lip trembled so much one might have thought she was suffering from hypothermia. Her jaw clenched, and Jazmine's words seemed to have wounded deeply inside of her. "You don't know what you're talking about,"
"But I do though! Because whenever you two get into your screaming matches you forget that there's another person living here! Whenever you two get into your stupid fights and you go on a binge and get absolutely wasted it's me who has to see it! I don't want to have to deal with your stupid problems anymore!"
"Shut up!" Sarah screamed. "I am your mother! You will respect me, shut the fuck up!" Jazmine's heart stopped beating for a second as she stood there, staring wide-eyed at her mom's outburst. Had she ever used this language with Jazmine? Had the girl ever pushed her buttons this far?
Had things ever been this messy?
The silence between them was deafening. Jazmine felt herself shake like a leaf, from the pout on her lips to the tips of her fingers. Why did it have to be her mother? If it had been her dad it probably wouldn't have stung so much.
"If only you'd respect yourself." Jazmine shook her head, angrily wiping the trail of tears off her face as. She stomped her way to her bedroom and was glad when Sarah didn't bother to call out for her because she couldn't stand to hear her voice any longer. She slammed the door shut and directed all that pent up anger into a scream muffled by one of her pillows.
And then she sobbed. Sobbed until her throat was dry and her temples were pulsating with pain. Sobbed until her eyes were raw and her body jolted with her hiccups. Until she felt everything rattle inside and her lungs struggled to get oxygen.
She was tired of sobbing.
She was exhausted. Exhausted of feeling so miserable because of them. Because of the both of them. This might have been the straw the broke the camel's back, but she could barely remember a time when things were alright, if there was ever.
She buried herself under the covers and held tightly the little tattered rag doll she still owned after all those years, but unlike then, she couldn't provide her any comfort now.
Baby you know that I miss you
I wanna get witchu
But I can't right my baby girl and that's the issue
"Ugh," She had been asleep for what seemed like five minutes when Soulja Boy unceremoniously assaulted the rest that she so desperately needed. Huey was right, she seriously needed to change that ringtone.
She had half a mind to just turn the call off and turn on her side, but when she saw the caller ID her stomach gave an uncomfortable leap.
"Um, Hi Pete!" Damnit, she had completely forgotten about her supposed date and almost gasped when she realized it was already three in the afternoon. Had she been asleep for five hours?! "What's up?"
"Don't hate me," Jazmine's eyebrows scrunched together as she sat up on her bed, rubbing the sleep off her eyes.
"What do you mean?" She chuckled slightly. "Why would I hate you?"
"Because I suck,"
"No you don't," She stifled a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, wondering what the boy was on about.
"Yeah I do," He sighed heavily and Jazmine thought she heard some weird screaming on a distance. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it to our thing tonight…"
"Oh," Jazmine laid back down, feeling relief swarm through her guts. At least she wouldn't have to lie to his face about it. There was no way she'd be able to enjoy anything in her current state. "What happened?"
"My dad's car broke down so I'm having to drive these little devils all the way to the city and-"
"Wait, calm down, you sound stressed."
"That's because I am!" His voice sounded strained. "Ugh, Coño! Olivia shut the hell up!" She flinched slightly, holding the phone away from her ear. "Sorry Jaz, they're driving me fucking insane,"
"I'm gonna tell Mamí you said 'fuck'!"
And then Jazmine heard very fast spanish being yelled back and forth between Peter and somebody else. "Peter? Breath?" It was almost comical hearing the otherwise very laid back boy lose his cool.
"I'm sorry. It's my little siblings, I gotta drive them all the way to Baltimore to meet up with our dad. Probably gonna be back late. I'm sorry."
"Peter has a girlfriend!"
"Oh my God!-"
"It's okay Pete!" Jazmine said quickly before he snapped again. "Really, it's fine. I'm not really feeling too hot right now anyway so..."
"Oh? What's up?" His voice immediately took on a softer tone though Jazmine could still hear the commotion on the back.
"Just some family stuff…"
"Oh...yeah that sucks big time. You okay though? Need a shoulder?" God, how could be he so dang sweet?
"It's nothing major," She lied. "I'll be fine. You never told me you had siblings." She swiftly stirred the topic of the conversation away from her and if Peter noticed, he didn't say anything. She heard a heavy huff on the other end of the line.
"Yeah, I try to keep my mind away from these little monsters as much as I can,"
"Hey!"
"Peete! Lucas got my doll!"
"For the love of-" Jazmine heard a loud wail and winced, holding the phone at an arm's length once again. "See what I mean? Ugh, I'll catch you later Jaz, They can't keep their mouths shut for five damn seconds."
"Talk to you later," She giggled despite herself. "Be careful on the road!"
"I'll try," He said. "If I get into a crash you know whose fault was that - Lucas give back the goddamn doll before I shove it up your ass! And stop crying Liliana! " And then the call went silent.
"Wow," Jazmine had spent most of her life begging for a sibling, but it definitely lost its appeal after she met Huey and Riley.
She was just glad she wouldn't have to keep a happy face or come up with a lie, she was never too good at that.
Though admittedly, something to take her mind off the edge would be nice. She fumbled with her dance bag for a moment before retrieving her trusty pair of pointe shoes and heading down to the basement. If she didn't have anything else to distract herself with she'd at least put her focus into something useful.
The basement had turned into a makeshift dance room when her parent got her bars and a full wall mirror so she could practice a few years ago on her birthday. It was perfect for that functionality, but she'd also find herself here often to drown out their notorious rows.
She stretched for a while before putting her headphones on and being surrounded by the music that made her heart race slightly whenever she heard it. Jazmine could almost dance with her eyes closed, feeling every movement effortlessly, as though her muscles had memorized the steps she had already mastered.
She smiled to herself. Despite the aches, the stress and the strain, ballet really was the only thing that didn't let her down.
Jazmine could go overboard. She was aware of that, but sometimes she just couldn't help herself.
She found herself sprawled on the floor of the basement, trying to level her breathing with the classical music that was still playing. The cold floor felt soothing against her hot skin and she was sure she would regret all of this tomorrow when she actually had to rehearse and her muscles were too sore, but she'd worry about it later.
Her feet did hurt quite a bit though, but that was what she got for dancing on concrete. She'd have to ice them for sure. Ugh, she really wasn't looking forward to it.
Grimacing, she stood up on shaky legs, deciding to take a hot shower before her body got too cold and the actual extent of her soreness caught up to her. She gulped down the water bottle, feeling the icy liquid run down her body in a rush and headed up the stairs.
If she had gone straight to her room she'd have missed the coat that hanged on the rack, or the briefcase that lay on the kitchen island, but she wouldn't have missed her father even if she tried, because as soon as his eyes landed on her he made sure to make his presence know.
"Jaz!" The man said cheerfully from the kitchen where he was fixing himself a sandwich. He was still wearing his work clothes and did look weary, but had a huge grin on his face as he looked at his daughter. "Hey, baby!"
"Oh, Hi dad," She tried not to gulp to hard as she stared at him. Her dad looked happy - happier than he seemed in a long time and for some reason this was very hard to look at. "I didn't know you were back."
"I went down there to let you know but you seemed so focused that I didn't want to get on your way," He walked to her direction and have the girl a tight hug, kissing her temple. "You looked beautiful honey," She seriously doubted that, as her hair was an unruly mess and her face seemed as red as a tomato, but didn't say anything. "Can't wait to see you on the big stage."
"Thanks dad," Her smile didn't meet her eyes, and it seemed to be noticeable because Tom frowned slightly, putting a hand on her cheeks.
"You okay hun?" His worried expression made her feel too guilty. Here he was, concerned about her well-being while he was the one being betrayed.
"Yeah," She forced herself to smile. "I just went a little too far today,"
"Oh baby, you're going hurt yourself if you're not careful!" He seemed satisfied with her answer as he made his way back to the kitchen. "Go on and take a shower, I'm sure dinner will be ready soon." Jazmine obliged, happy that she wasn't the one cutting their conversation short for once and heading upstairs.
The shower was longer than was absolutely necessary, but Jazmine needed this. Since she didn't go to therapy, Body scrubs, moisturizers, face masks, and skincare products were the next best thing, and the longer she could put off the inevitable, the better.
The cloud of steam fogged up her room slightly before dissipating, and Jazmine made sure her door was locked (Her parents still hadn't learned how to knock apparently) before laying on her bed wearing nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around her body.
She seemed to have washed away a big weight off her shoulders, but she knew the peacefulness was only temporary. She was fine with it though. A fake sense of comfort seemed better than no comfort at all.
The sun was beginning to set outside the bedroom window and for a brief moment her mind wandered towards the boy who lived across the street. Did the sunset appeal him as much as the sunrise? Jazmine personally thought that the slightly darker, slightly more saturated purple and pink tones were more visually pleasing, not to mention the few stars that were beginning to dot the sky. The moon was yet to make itself known and a few houses were already turning their lights on.
That same time the day before her biggest worry had been whether or not she'd have to walk home. It seemed incredibly stupid now. She wished she had decided to do so. Maybe she'd have met someone she knew around the basketball court on her way back and hang around there for a while and maybe by the time she was back she'd have just missed the yet unknown man on his way out of the house.
If regret could kill, not taking Jade's offer to do something after class would have been the death of her.
She heard footsteps approaching before someone tried to turn the knob, knocking when they were unsuccessful. "Honey," Tom's voice was muffled behind the door. "What have we talked about locked doors?"
"I just got out of the shower, dad." Jazmine allowed herself to roll her eyes until they were crossed, wondering when would Tom realize that his daughter had grown a whole pair of tits and that maybe just barging inside her room unannounced wasn't exactly appropriate anymore.
"Well, dinner's on the table, don't take too long." And she heard him stalk away. With a sigh, she forced herself to put on some clothes while psyching herself up for the deathly awkward dinner that she would be forced to sit through. She had half hoped that it would be one of those days where they were fighting with each other for some reason or another and she'd get to eat her dinner up in her room, but judging by her father's cheerfulness, she wasn't going to get out that easily.
She slowly made her way downstairs, wary of what she would be met. "Oh, good, we were just waiting for you," Tom started fixing her plate, which she didn't exactly appreciate but didn't say anything about it. She sat on her usual spot across from her mother as to not raise any suspicious to the still oblivious man, but focused on not looking at her more than was absolutely necessary.
Sarah though seemed so disconcertingly unbothered that it irked Jazmine. She didn't even look ashamed or guilty or remorseful. She just sat there, acting as if everything was normal. Not even normal, as if everything was good, because she couldn't remember the last time her parents actually engaged in a non-hostile conversation where Sarah actually seemed eager to listen to what Tom had to say.
Maybe it was normal for her. Who could guarantee that she hadn't done it before? Hell, she probably had now that Jazmine thought about it, because she was feigning naturality so well that there was no way she wasn't experienced at it. How long had she been doing it? With how many men?
"Jazmine?"
"Huh?" The girl realized she was holding the cutlery with more force than was necessary.
"You've barely touched food honey," Tom pointed out. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Her eyes involuntarily darted towards Sarah, almost as if saying ask her! but she nodded nonetheless, taking a bite out off the meatloaf in her plate as if to prove a point. " 'M fine dad,"
"Well-"
"You seem happy," She said and Tom's face lit up. Jazmine relaxed a bit knowing she wouldn't be scrutinized as much. If there was one thing Tom liked to talk about more than his daughter was himself.
The man droned on and on about whatever it was he did at Baltimore that weekend and Jazmine automatically tuned him out, throwing a 'hmm' or a 'that's interesting' whenever it seemed appropriate.
Not long after she had forced the meal down, quickly asking to be excused to her bedroom not wanting to waste any more time in that environment.
She settled on her bed, grabbing her phone and just now noticing the unanswered texts.
Grumpy Pants (18:00): Hey
Grumpy Pants (18:00): Just saw Tom's car pull up on the driveway.
Grumpy Pants (18:00): Good luck
Grumpy Pants (18:00): Think about what I told you.
Jazmine almost smiled, knowing this was the extent of worry and care Huey was willing to show through text messages.
Jazzy D. (19:10): Srry for not answering, was practicing :p
Jazzy D. (19:10): yeah we just had dinner actually
Jazzy D. (19:10): awkward AF
She was almost certain that she wouldn't be getting a response any time soon -If you wanted to text Huey you'd either have to answer him instantly or wait hours until he decided to pick his phone up again, but surprisingly not a minute later her phone buzzed again.
Grumpy Pants (19:11): Did you talk to your mother?
Jazzy D. (19:11): Yeah
Jazzy D. (19:11): She told me to stfu
Jazzy D. (19:11): As in "shut the eff up"
Jazzy D. (19:11): So we r doing great :)
If she had to be fair she'd admit that she was out of line too and that just maybe her attitude wasn't the best, but fairness wasn't really on her mind, so she purposefully left that part out.
Grumpy Pants (19:11): What
Grumpy Pants (19:12): Wait actually?
Jazzy D. (19:12): Yep.
Grumpy Pants (19:12): What the fuck?
Jazzy D. (19:12): Exactly
Grumpy Pants (19:13): What about Tom?
Jazzy D. (19:13): None the wiser
Grumpy Pants (19:13): I see…
Grumpy Pants (19:13): You wanna come to the hill?
Grumpy Pants (19:13): I'm hanging out with Caesar
Grumpy Pants (19:13): No I didn't tell him anything, before you ask.
Jazmine considered this offer for a moment. She could really use Caesar's humor right now, but sighed, looking at the darkness outside her window.
Jazzy D. (19:13): Can't, my parents don't let me out that late on a school night
Jazzy D. (19:13): And i don't really feel like aggravating the situation
Grumpy Pants (19:13): That's okay.
Grumpy Pants (19:13): See you tomorrow then.
Jazzy D. (19:13): See ya
Jazmine hated how fluttery she felt whenever Huey was the one to text her and not the other way around and she knew it was stupid, she knew that he was aware of her fucked up situation and it probably would be weird if he hadn't said anything, but she couldn't help herself.
She was caught off guard when someone actually had the decency to knock on her door, but felt her heart sink slightly when she realized it was her mother, though she really didn't know what she expected. Tom was probably on his way to bed anyway. "Jazmine? Can I come in?"
Jazmine wanted to scream no. To tell her to go away. That she didn't want to see her even if she was painted in gold. "Uh-huh?" She said instead. Sarah peeked her blond head inside and maybe tried to offer a sheepish smile, but it looked more like a grimace than anything.
Blue eyes fixed on green for longer than felt comfortable and Jazmine felt absolutely enraged at how small she felt under her gaze. "Jazmine," She sighed, closing the door behind her. "We...We need to address this." Jazmine huffed, rolling her eyes.
"I thought you were done addressing anything after you told me to-"
"I know what I said," Sarah interrupted as though, wincing as though she felt some sort of physical pain. "And I'm really sorry. This shouldn't have happened. None of this."
Jazmine nodded slowly, but didn't say anything. Instead, she took a deep breath, resting her back against the headboard waiting for her mother to go on. She didn't want to, but she also didn't want to fight anymore. It was exhausting, she had no idea how people like Cindy, Huey or Riley could be so confrontational all the time.
"I am not proud," Her mother went on. "But sometimes Jazmine, when you're an adult you need...an outlet...you need to feel alive, and I'm sure you're old enough to understand that." Jazmine pulled a face. "Sometimes it's not healthy, or moral, or right but...when you're feeling that thrill that you haven't felt in almost two decades...that excitement...you stop thinking about that."
Jazmine was silent for a moment, if possible feeling less reassured than before by her mother's words. "...Is that your excuse?"
"No!" Sarah quickly shook her head. "God no! I know that what I did was inexcusable. I'm just stating a fact. I made a mistake...a horrible, horrible mistake…"
"See, but that's what I don't get," Jazmine felt her face heat up. "If you're so unhappy then why stay together if you both clearly don't want to?"
"Jazmine…"
"Are you waiting for me to graduate? Is that it? Because if so I'll just let you know that I'd happily take two homes over this mess we're living in."
"It's not that easy-"
"Yes it is mom!" She snapped. "You're both attorneys! What part of getting out of an unstable, unhappy marriage is not easy in this situation?!"
"Jazmine," Sarah sighed, rubbing her brow bone. "It just isn't okay? There are some things that you don't understand yet, and I don't expect you to, but this is our business, not yours."
Jazmine scoffed. "It's always your business isn't it? If you want to scream in the middle of the night and keep your daughter from sleeping that is your business, when you can't bother to answer your daughter calling you because you're having an affair it's you business. Wonder when will my business matter too. And don't say you are doing this for me because that's not the case, you're just being selfish. Both of you."
Sarah was at a complete loss of words. The hurt in her eyes was unbearable to watch so Jazmine focused on scraping the dried nail polish off her bitten nails.
"I'm sorry Jazmine," Sarah repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm sorry about everything." She turned around, turning the doorknob, she looked at her daughter once again. "I love you. You know that honey."
"If that's true then you will tell him." Sarah stopped in her tracks and Jazmine could almost see her shoulders hitching up. "If you love me like you say you do you're not going to let me carry this weight around with me. You have to tell him."
"...Okay-"
"And soon. I'm serious mom, if you don't then I will." Her expression was somber when their eyes met for the last time that evening. Sarah nodded, holding the knob so tightly her knuckles had gone white.
"I will. It's only fair." And with that, she left.
Although Jazmine still felt a tightness on her chest, she couldn't help but feel a tremendous weight lift off her shoulders. She seemed to have let out what was building up for years. She just didn't know exactly if she was happy at that.
If she had more guts she'd probably climb out her window like Huey had taught her and meet the boys at the hill, trying to spot the shiniest star in the sky. Maybe it would give her more peace of mind, but she'd have to content herself with the mediocrity of her bedroom window.
The moon was brighter than it had been in a long time. The early fall weather had made Woodcrest terribly overcast for the last few weeks, but yet there it was in all its silver glory, lighting up the night and keeping Jazmine company.
Her mind briefly wondered if Huey was looking at it too with the same sense of endearment. Weirdly, she didn't feel quite so lonely all of a sudden.
Oh my God so much ANGST!
I know this chap was very unlike what I usually do and idk how I feel about it...it felt kinda dull tbh but I'm also in a weird mood where I think that everything I write is garbage? So yeah, not thriving
But anyway, this ain't about me, it's about YOU! REVIEW AND PUT ME ON YOUR ALERT SQUAD THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Also low-key next chap I'll try to bring something lighter to the table because damn...just damn…
...Or am I? *evil cackle*
anyways, stay cool y'all, stay safe
XOXO
-Agatha