...
...
...
..They were sick.
Sick.
And yeah, Sans knew he had been thinking that since the moment he "first" saw them, but right then they were really sick. Something was running out of their nose and they could barely keep those red eyes open as their face flushed just as red and they barely managed to talk. They were dangerously hot to the touch.
Was this some cruel joke? Some lesson in being careful about what you wished for? Because Sans had wished this on them, had even helped it along, and now look who was stuck with them? If it was a lesson, Sans would just have to wish for happy things from now on. Like that they'd die from it. Humans did that, right? Got sick and died? Oh yeah, Old Lady, he took care of the kid, had them all snug on the couch and fed 'em, it just couldn't have been helped. So sorry. Tried real hard, oh man did he try real hard.
But no, he wasn't even being ironic or sarcastic with that, Sans really was being forced to try hard. Papyrus was all over them before Sans could convince him out of the house again, this time for the human's own good. That much doting couldn't be healthy for somebody who was already super unhealthy. Sans could barely keep the spaghetti from being forced on the half asleep thing, the biggest MERCY Sans would ever find himself offering to something like them.
He hated them, and he loved his brother, but even so... For all their sakes, it was best if Papyrus went to work, and later Sans would pop by his station in Waterfall to give Undyne the illusion that he was working just as much as usual (which meant not much).
He was only doing this for Papyrus, not them. Pap would be devastated if the thing died under their watch. Somehow, even when Sans had the power, they found a way to spite him. Was it them or the universe that loved to mock him? Or was it simply both?
"Chocolaate."
And Sans swore they weren't making things any easier.
They were apparently starting to feel a bit better at least, if they were talking again, but Sans was still having to force them to eat something good for them. Which was funny considering Sans' own habits. But he didn't have organs and an immune system to worry about.
"not what the doctor ordered." Sans said pushing the spoon back to their face. They reluctantly ate the soup.
"You're not that type of doctor..." They managed after a pained swallow.
"not a doctor at all." They laughed, but it only hurt their throat and they coughed. Good. Though the interaction unsettled him a bit, more than usual. It had felt like they'd known something he didn't. He hated that. He forced another spoon to their mouth before they were really ready.
"Nm!" They whined. Sans' smile twitched. "Ice creams' good for the throat." They tried.
"nope." He deadpanned. They huffed out angrily.
"Just think if Paps saw how you were treating his poor, sick friend." Sans stopped, the lights in his eyes disappearing.
It's manipulative, he recognizes it right away, that sort of baiting... but he does not have to put up with it anymore.
"well i'm not your friend and i don't give a damn." He growled. They didn't speak, in fact it looks like this fact might upset them as they glanced downwards. It only encouraged Sans to take another swing. "and from what i've seen, paps is the only one you got, though if we could say you're really his back with all you've done is another story..."
They flinched and seemed hurt at that.
Again... Good.
But this time... they didn't seem to be recovering. They were deflating, sinking in on themself. Any momentum they had gained from their spite with Sans forcing them to sit up and eat something was leaving them.
"Frisk..." Sans froze again. Their voice was hushed and pained, as if they just couldn't help it. The word, the name, escaped them with an edge of despair. It cut through the air like a knife.
Sans lifted the spoon again, refusing to note how his fingers shook just the slightest bit.
"hey.." He said bitterly. "there's still soup left. don't make me get out the spaghetti."
They lifted their chin and took the silent bite. Sans drew his hand back and watched as he heard their sniffling increase again. Sans frowned but prepared another spoonful. They were finishing this thing whether they liked it or not.. But when they lifted their head to obey again Sans could see the tears drifting down their cheeks. His grip on the spoon is impossibly hardened as they took the next bite. They seemed to be having a bad time breathing, and Sans shoved the rag they'd been using for their nose back at them. They grabbed it, but didn't use it right away.
"I miss them, Sans..." They managed before finally breaking out into small sobs they could no longer suppress. They pressed the rag to their mouth and nose. "I m-miss them..."
It was the fever. Nothing more. Fever- and manipulation. And even if it wasn't. If it was some semblance of real...
Sans lowered the spoon into the bowl and watched them continue to cry feeling utterly... unmoved..
His voice came out distant.. cold..
"then maybe you shouldn't have killed them."
It was as if Sans had just punctured them through the chest with bone.
The sobs that they had been trying to at least control were now unstoppable and it was all they could do to keep themselves breathing. They collapsed in on themself, leaning against the back of the couch as they kept their face hidden away from him. And Sans sat... horrified.
Sans hadn't had a way of knowing what had happened to their so-called Frisk, he had just made a shot in the dark, something to rile them up. Maybe out of anger, maybe out of defense even, but this.. he hadn't expected this. And this... Fire and rage was a lot easier to deal with than this. And to know that they'd really- Sans didn't know how to feel. He felt...
"god... you really are that sick." He breathed, feeling something twisting inside him. It's entirely repulsed, shocked even. The "Human" pulled their knees up towards their chest as they coward away from him. Or maybe from themself. And Sans... He'd known they were cruel, playing with everyone's emotions, but this... "to call someone your friend when you did something like that to them. sane with paps." The shock was fading fast as the anger rose up again and his teeth clenched. He leaned in dangerously. "someone like you should be burning in hell."
The "Human" only buried their face deeper into the couch as they sobbed violently.
And still... Sans felt nothing for them. Nothing at all. Except...
Sans stood up and went into the kitchen. He placed the bowl of unfinished soup on the counter and again he could not help but note the shaking of his hand... and with it to notice.. he was shaking. All over he was starting to shake. He kept staring at his hands in surprise. But it shouldn't be a surprise. It's the anger and rage. Except it's also... something else. It was hard to breathe... and the cries from the other room weren't fading.. It made Sans shake even more and he forced a harsh teleport upstairs to his room.
The only sound was the constant, irregular noise of his trash tornado as he leaned back against the side of his bed. It's like a white noise as he stared into the darkness, the anger draining out of him now that he was away from the thing downstairs, but with the fading anger that other thing was coming into clear, painful focus.
It's numb... Weighted down.. Like nothing mattered again.
Sans' shoulders slumped and his eyes closed; as if he could block out this feeling with another layer of perpetual darkness.
... Heh...
He was grieving.
Grieving for someone he couldn't put a face to. Grieving for someone he couldn't even remember.
... He wished he could say it was an unfamiliar feeling.
.. But what did it matter? They were gone... He could only protect what was still here. And he... He could do that. For once in all of this, he could actual do something to protect...
He had failed Frisk, but he wasn't going to fail anyone else... Not this time.
... Sans can't teleport into his workshop. It's one of the few places he knows that's like that. When he opens the door and turns on the light, they flicker lazily for a moment before conceding to staying on. It smells of dust, but its normal dust. Built up from Sans' lack of giving a damn. He doesn't know how long its been since he's been down here. Perhaps just a week ago in his memories, but Resets ago? Who knew... He gave up. There was no point in even trying.
When the world had been shoved back into place a few days ago, the air biting and refusing to settle back into place properly Sans had been straight up too afraid to come down here. Of what he might find or wouldn't find. Sometimes not knowing was better. Not when you couldn't do anything about it. Not when you were helpless. It would only help drive in how utterly useless you'd become. Like the machine at the end of the hall. Unfixable and unworking...
But now.. there was something in Sans' step. There had to be something down here this time. And perhaps at the very least... He had the right to know what it was that he was grieving. That's something he hadn't had the luxury of last time.
Sans made his way to the drawers anxious.
He didn't know or remember how, but sometimes he'd find something that shouldn't have been there. He didn't even know if he was the one to put them there in some other timeline, or if... Just 'or if'...
But if it was him, he'd like to have a word because it was never something helpful or clear. It was always something like yellow flower petals, for instance, or in this case...
A picture. Several pictures...
It's the clearest something he has ever found in these drawers... At least that he could remember... and it surprised him...
Because they were pictures... and even worse... pictures he didn't remember having taken.
Sans was shaking again as he grabbed the first one.
They were there. The "Human" was there. Smiling brightly as they leaned their elbow against Sans' shoulder. They towered over him; a teenager. Almost an adult. Their smile was bright and their eyes closed as they offered the person taking the photo a "V" for victory. Papyrus was behind them, offering the same gesture. And Sans...
He was smiling.
And worse yet...
He was smiling, but he looked happy.
His smile was as bright as theirs and his sockets closed as if he was giving off a laugh.
And worse and worse yet...
He's wearing a t-shirt printed to look like a tux, and on his head...
He knows that type of hat. You'll find old cards in the dumps with them printed on the covers, Monsters had adopted it in their own sorts of ceremonies.
That's a graduation cap.
Sans was wearing a graduation cap..
As the "Human" was happy. As his brother was happy. And as Sans was...
There was a bright blue sky above them.
That...
That could not be the thing sobbing on his couch. That couldn't be... This couldn't be real!
He lowered the photo and looked at the rest of the drawer without really looking, unable to fathom it all. Several years on the surface he didn't remember, where he was apparently happy. He couldn't look at these photos... He couldn't remember, and he didn't want to know anymore. He dropped the photo and went to shut the drawer before something off to the side caught his eye. It was another photo, but it was older and more creased, as if it had been folded and unfolded a lot more than several times. He picked it up to find that it had another photo attached to it. An identical photo but less worn that had a sticky note.
"even the worse person can change", it told him.
Sans' eyes darkened as he stared at the two identical photos. But they definitely weren't from the same timeline, he wouldn't do that to himself. This meant they'd gotten to the surface at least twice and had ended up back here. Even after living up there for what was years. After being happy... That thing upstairs would never be happy. Not really.
But soon it probably wouldn't matter. They had run their course. This was it. They were done doing this. Their little game was over.
Except... It wasn't a game. It was never a game! Not for him.. Not for everyone down here... Only to them.
It.
But why?
Why had they done this? All of this?! They really were sick! They'd lived with the Monsters! They'd- And then they really had RESET and killed everyone!
They'd been given love and they had paid everyone back with gaining LOVE. Even their so-called best friend? Somebody Sans had loved too? This was all just... This was all just too much. Sans couldn't understand. He didn't want to understand. He was revolted. It was disgusting. It was... It made no sense! But it didn't have to did it? They'd done it just because they could. That was the only thing Sans could think of. They'd done it just because they could...
But now they couldn't.
Sans took the worn, creased photo in his hands and tore it quickly in two along with the attached note.
That Sans that had written that note, that had folded and unfolded that picture a thousand times questioning himself and his reality, that had finally given them that chance. That small bit of trust. That had dared to hope. Well this Sans knew better.
And this Sans could end it.
He stormed up the stairs and made a straight line to the front door. With each step his anger grew and grew and his certainty at what he was going to do next along with it.
Forget promises to old ladies behind foreboding doors. Forget all his caution and his wait and see judgement. He knew enough and he had his chance. Even if the old lady ended up hating him, even if Papyrus could not understand. It's what's best. It's what had to be done. And for once he can and he's going to.
The magic is already pooling deep inside his eye as he prepares to conjure something. His intent is sharp and certain.
He opened the door to the house, fully ready with the plan in his mind..
But it is immediately derailed at the sight of Papyrus.
... Of course...
It's just another cruel twist from the universe..
But while the magic begins to calm inside him, the certainty and intent do not.
"SANS!" Papyrus is sitting on the couch beside it, the "Human". They were still wrapped in covers and clutching their snot rag. The tears had dried but their face was still flushed and stained. It was obvious that they had been crying to anyone who'd take the time to notice. Like Papyrus. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I THOUGHT YOU WERE WATCHING OUR GUEST."
".. i went to see if there was anything at the shop that could help em feel better."
"OH!" Papyrus got excited. "DID YOU?"
"nah... nothing for humans anyways." Or whatever the hell they actually were. Or maybe they really were just human. Humans were supposed to be the worst, after all. Maybe it's just the whole lot of them.
"OH." Papyrus seems less excited now, only concerned.
"I don't need anything..." The "Human" said weakly. "I just..."
They hesitated but it is already too late. Papyrus had gotten whim of a potential whim.
"YES? WHAT IS IT?"
Sans' clenched fist was painful as he could see the thoughts going through their head. They were clearly working up to something..
"There's been something I've been needing to ask you..." They said, their voice is still so coarse, it's grating.. "I was wondering if we could... could g-go on a... d... If we could hang out? Like friends."
Sans wanted to kill them right then and there. Even in front of Papyrus... but there is no way he can hurt Papyrus like that.. Especially at the bright, beaming face his brother was making- He just wished it was someone else making him smile that way. Someone else who actually meant and deserved it.
"OH WOWIE! OF COURSE!"
"yeah. all three of us can do something fun." Sans interjected. The "Human" glanced his way and Sans is pleased by the near horrified expression on their face. Papyrus doesn't seem to notice it, though because he is focusing on Sans.
"BUT SANS! YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK."
"i-"
"YOU SAID WE SHOULD KEEP UNDYNE FROM WORRYING! YOU HAVE TO GO TO WORK AND REPORT IN." Sans sighed. If only Undyne would burst through those doors right that second-
Sans looked at the "Human" again... He supposed they couldn't do much. Standing, even, made them dizzy. Any hangout would probably end up being Papyrus showing them his room and talking about stuff The "Human" already knew.
It... would be fine... Just this once it would be fine.
"alright, alright." Sans sighed. He stepped forward and grabbed his joke book off of the end table. As he did, he met the red eyes' gaze. "i'll be back in a jiffy, though." He promised. Pointedly promised.
The red eyes darted quickly away.
... It's weird... Sans had loved them once, hadn't he? Then why? When he saw those eyes... Why did he feel nothing? Not even an echo of it. All he felt was hate. He hated them. The only time there seemed to be anything at all was when they were acting like someone else...
Was that because they had done nothing but act when they had been on the surface?
... "you be careful, paps."
"DON'T WORRY! I WILL BE EXTRA CAREFUL WITH THE HUMAN!"
That was totally not what Sans had meant.
When Sans got to waterfall, he immediately sat down at his station and opened up the joke book and immersed himself in it. It's actually a science book... Science hidden behind a set of jokes... Or maybe it was a set of jokes pretending to know science. Hell if he knew anymore. If he knew anything anymore...
Luckily it doesn't take long for Undyne to appear.
She looks as frustrated as Sans felt.
And Sans wasn't going to help.
"haven'y seen a thing all day." Sans told the fully armored Captain of The Royal Guard. Well almost fully armored. She held her helmet under her arm.
"BUT WHERE THE HELL COULD THEY BE?!" She raged. "I've searched everywhere! They should have been here by now after the reports I've received but it's like they disappeared. I even called the hotel in Snowdin but nothing! And Papyrus doesn't know where they are either!"
Wow, Paps had actually lied? Or had he just answered a different question than what Undyne thought? Probably that one. A not exactly lie. Or maybe he just really cared about the horrid little thing that much... But how could he have been convincing about it? Maybe Undyne had just been to flustered to notice?
"Are you sure they couldn't have gotten by while you were slacking off?" Undyne accused. Sans thought a moment.
"it's possible."
Undyne growled and looked to the trail ahead.
"UGH! You're so useless sometimes!"
"hmm. only sometimes? man, i'm still working too hard then."
That only made it worse. Undyne growled even more furiously and began to storm off. Unfortunately in the opposite direction of Snowdin...
But suddenly she stopped and turned back to him.
"Seriously though. Don't you even care about getting to the surface?! About everyone's hopes and dreams?!"
But she didn't wait for an answer, too worked up in her righteous fury...
And Sans... He sat at his station a bit longer watching after her...
The anger is back in its entirety.
When Sans got back to the house, he made his way back down into the workshop... The picture was on the floor in two pieces and Sans bent down to pick it up...
Each of them smiling. Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, The King, ... the old lady, The Queen... and Sans...
The sky above them.
Of course he cared...
He cared...
And he could afford to care..
Sans stood up and shoved the two pieces of torn picture into his pocket. A reminder as his certainty was transforming.
He was getting this back.
One way or another he was getting this back.
But it's not going to be on their terms this time, it's going to be on his.