Hello, I'm back, thx for waiting.

#1: I don't own BNHA.

#2: Mostly adults in mostly adult situations.

Bye bye. I'll be back with a Christmas chapter, promise.

Iida invited Izuku to a hamburger after school. His treat he said, in exchange for listening to a certain concern of his. So, Izuku, at the gates, gave Tsuyu a discrete wave and walked with Iida towards a part of town filled with shops and restaurants. People in mascot suits spun signs and danced. A woman was handing out flyers for a sketchy massage parlor. Iida guided them to a diner and they slid into a vinyl booth. Izuku ordered a lemonade. Iida ordered a black coffee; he was perturbed, a crease between his eyebrows. Iida cleared his throat.

"Midoriya. Do you remember when we were strapped to a chair within a burning building."

"Sure," Izuku said, "It's a very vivid memory. I started hanging out with Tsu that day."

"Have you two, er, progressed in your relationship?" His eyebrows arched with expectation.

"Yes. I'd say so." Izuku recalled their most recent liaison, his mouth in her crotch. If he blushed, Iida could not tell.

"So, this isn't a passing fancy? A fling?"

"No, I'm serious about Tsuyu." Izuku sucked up some lemonade. He felt pride saying so.

"Would you say that you are-" Iida leaned in. His eyes swung from left to right. "Her boyfriend?"

"I think so. We haven't spoken about it but I'm almost positive we're at that stage." Izuku rubbed his head.

Iida smiled. "I'm gladdened to hear so. I knew you were an honorable romantic. You're no lecher. Not like that pest Mineta."

"Well, Iida, I don't want to lie to you. I trust you, of course. Well, Tsuyu and I have an adult relationship. We've performed some, uh, you know, demonstrations of affection."

Iida's face paled and turned rigid. "Midoriya!? You don't mean that… you're going to be a father?"

The surprise that Izuku felt activated Full Cowl for a moment and the glass of lemonade shattered in his hand. Green sparks surrounded him and disappeared in a flash. Several patrons gasped.

Izuku bent towards IIda and spoke in a forced hush. "A baby! Iida, no! You're mistaken, very mistaken. I mean first base, second base. We're frisky. I don't know why I'm telling you this. No offense, you don't strike me as somebody who approves of premarital, um, activity."

He threw one finger up. "I don't approve of flippancy. But I consider you and Asui to be both very honorable. And, besides, I'm a healthy, young man; I have my own drive! There are days that I sit in my desk rattling with desire and wanton thoughts. But yes, I'm surprised and a little concerned. However, I'm more than happy for you." He put out his hand.

"We don't have to shake hands because I scored, IIda."

"Let's shake to friendship, Midoriya. I'm glad we can trust each other with our thoughts."

Izuku, formerly so lonely, shook Iida's hand. The waitress appeared at their table with unmasked vexation.

"I heard a glass shatter," she said. Izuku looked down at the spreading puddle of lemonade on the table, the shards like little icebergs in an ocean.

"Ah, I'm sorry," Izuku sputtered. They were moved to another booth.

"Yes," IIda began, "when we were tied to chairs under the ceiling of a flaming building, I asked you if you were possibly interested in Uraraka. When you said that you were rather interested in Tsuyu, I couldn't help but feel immense relief. A more permanent relief than when we exited that smoking warehouse and entered fresh air. You see, I think, I've developed affections for Uraraka. I'm enlisting your help to become her boyfriend."

"You like Uraraka?" Surprised again, Izuku's power surged and lit the menu in his hands. It burst into green flames and fell to the table in cinders. The waitress insisted that they leave the restaurant. Izuku set down some money for the busted cup, burnt menu.

Iida and Izuku spilled out into the avenue to search for another restaurant. By then, the sun had lowered and the city was cast in a pink light. Around them, workers and business folk were bustling home, filling grocery stores, buying beer, grumbling in line at the ATM. Izuku pointed at another diner and they entered.

"Midoriya, I don't understand why you're so surprised. Didn't you even consider it?" Iida asked.

Izuku was embarrassed. He should've known the second Iida asked about Uraraka. "Tsuyu says I can be pretty dense. I miss a lot of social cues," he said.

"Regardless of your occasional ineptitude, I need your help, Midoriya. I'm not very tactful about these things. Some of our classmates, Bakugou really, have called me a spazz. He says I throw my body around like a cartoon character."

"You've just got a certain passion that others aren't used to. Of course, I'll help you. But do you mind if I told Tsuyu? She's a little closer to Uraraka then I am."

"Whatever works, Midoriya. Thank you so much!" He launched from his chair and bowed stiffly. They ate burgers, happily.

Tsuyu was over at Izuku's again. According to Izuku, his mother was suddenly becoming very interested in art and was often out of the house for a lecture, museum visit, or a documentary showing. Today, a Friday night, she was at a portrait museum, taking a guided tour with a group of other interested patrons. All of this surprised Izuku. His mother's new hobby had developed suddenly and without previous indication of interest. Good for her. Izuku thought. And good for me and Tsuyu.

They dawdled on the couch, watching the news. Clips of Heroes in action flashed in vivid colors on the TV. Tsuyu's head leaned against Izuku's shoulder. Her hair smelled clean and of light mint.

"Hey," Izuku said, "I've gotta ask you about something."

"Sure, what's up?" Tsuyu said.

"Nothing serious. Something fun actually."

"Hmm? What could it be?" Tsuyu's finger dug into her cheek.

"Iida wants some help getting with Uraraka."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," nonchalantly.

"I was so surprised!" Izuku gasped.

"There's a lot of cute couples possible in 1-A. Ochaco and Iida. Mina and Kirishima. Kyoka and Kaminari. And us, of course." Tsuyu said, looking off thoughtfully.

"You've considered this."

"Yeah. It's cute, isn't it? Playing matchmaker. Even if it isn't real."

"I suppose. So, you'll help? Talk to Uraraka possibly?"

"It'd be my honor. How fun. We could go on double dates." Tsuyu smiled wide.

"Yes, of course." And Izuku leaned in to kiss Tsuyu's cheek. "Thanks."

Tsuyu returned the kiss against Izuku's lips. He gripped her waist, pushed himself towards her body, and kissed her, deeply. They exchanged kisses, becoming more horizontal on the couch, sliding into each other, bumping ribcages. Izuku squeezed her breasts. Tsuyu tugged on Izuku's shirt until he backed away and pulled it off completely. He dug his erection into her and Tsuyu was suddenly very interested in what it might look like.

"Hey," she said with hot breath, "sit on the couch."

"Uh, sure," Izuku said, hesitantly, and he settled back, feet on the floor.

Tsuyu lowered herself to the carpet, knelt in front of Izuku, and crept her hands up to the zipper of his pants. Izuku jumped.

"What are you doing?" he said, alarmed.

"I was thinking that I would give you blow job." She tilted her head.

"Actually, I should have guessed. That was a dumb question."

"Do you not want me to?"

"Uh, well-"

"Yes or no." Tsuyu demanded.

"Yes, please. Yes."

"Okay, so just lean back and, kero, I'll take care of it. It should be noted that I've never done this. So this will be a bit of an experiment then."

"Sure. Do your best." He leaned his nervous head back.

Two of Tsuyu's long fingers pinched the zipper and pulled it down, then undid the top button. She stared at the bulge under Izuku's blue boxers. There it is. The real thing. She hooked her fingers under the waistbands of his jeans, boxers and tugged them to his ankles. It sprung out into the air. Izuku suddenly threw his hands over his flushing face.

"I can't believe this, Tsu. I can't do this. My dick's out!"

"Izuku, calm down. You're about to receive oral. Show some decorum. See, I'm not laughing or screaming or anything. Relax. This is going to be good, kero, I hope, at least."

"I'm sorry. It's just embarrassed."

"You're embarrassed?! I was embarrassed! You saw my vagina."

"You didn't look flustered!"

"I've got an unbreakable resting face." She grumbled.

Izuku stared at her face. She pouted very slightly. There was indeed a patch of color in her cheeks, barely discernible. He sighed. He was going soft.

"I'm sorry, Tsu," he said. "I trust you. Really, I'm very excited. Please, um, you know, go ahead, if you'd like."

"Do what?" She teased. "Say it."

He hid behind his bangs. "Please… suck my dick."

"We have to be honest with ourselves and each other," she said and began to stroke his dick. "It's essential to a relationship."

Izuku was spongy and hot in Tsuyu's palm. Her big hand, clenched around the shaft, covered most of it. She began to slowly pump up and down. She was unsure what to do next. Now, I approach it. Put your mouth on it, like a, uhhh, uhhhh, like a popsicle? Kiss it, envelope it, suck. Geez, it's so warm. This looks like an average size. Better thing since I'm short. Hmm? What? Why should that matter? I need to concentrate.

Approaching her face, she noticed a faint smell, like sweat and soap, half clinical, half musky. She dragged her tongue from the base to the tip. Down and up again. She rested her hands on his thighs and rubbed the skin under her fingertips. Izuku let a little gasp as she lowered her mouth around the head. Izuku, imitating the pornos, placed his hand on her scalp. She bobbed up and down. It tapped the back of her throat so slightly. It's kind of bumping into my teeth. I wonder if that hurts? Izuku seems like he's enjoying it. He's moaning and fidgeting.

Izuku looked down and met Tsuyu's enormous eyes. His gaze flickered between her lips and her pupils. He turned one shade deeper red. Tsuyu removed herself, stroked his slobbered member.

"Good so far?" She piqued.

"Yes, uh, but your teeth hurt a little bit." He admitted.

"Then, I'll be careful."

She did not return immediately but kissed along the insides of his thighs, at the base of his dick. He quivered. Then she licked it all around, her amphibian tongue extending and coiling slightly around it. She drove her head up and down, up and down. This went on for several minutes the suddenly Izuku grabbed her hair gently.

"I'm gonna come, Tsu. I'm, ngh, yeah, I'm gonna come soon."

She pulled her mouth away and jerked Izuku off with her hand, quickly, then frantically, applying hot pressure. It twitched and shook and Izuku's stomach rippled. He came over her knuckles, wrist, the back of her hand.

"Ah, woah," he said.

Tsuyu's eyes widened. Holy moly, she thought, it happened. It's all over my hand. Sticky and alkaline. I didn't want it in my mouth, not yet. Doesn't look like he cared. Good thing, this stuff is… weird.

Izuku smiled weakly at Tsuyu. "Thank you," he mumbled.

She rose to the bathroom, washed her hands, and returned to Izuku. She kissed him, holding his face in her hands. "You're welcome," she said. "You know, I don't mean to be selfish. But it should be a little longer until your mom is back? How would you feel about returning the favor?"

And Izuku, a good boyfriend, switched positions with Tsuyu, sank to his knees, and licked his lips.

After that liaison, Tsuyu agreed to help Iida and, that weekend, asked Uraraka to a dainty cafe vaguely halfway between their homes. Uraraka scanned the pink menu, examining the prices. She began to sweat.

"This is a lovely cafe but, you know, it's a little expensive."

"Really?" Tsuyu said. A latte was only three hundred yen. "My treat then."

Uraraka's pride took a dent. But a free drink was a free drink. "Thank you." She said.

Tsuyu schemed while Uraraka checked the menu with a new relaxation. How should I initiate this? Hey, Ochaco, listen to this - Iida's horny for you. Hahaha. That'd give her a jump. That's how high school girls talk, right? Not that I'd know, always been a little out of the loop. Another try: Hey, Ochaco, I've got a tidbit of information. Make of it what you will. Iida, our good friend, might like you. How's that? But aren't I trying to get Ochaco and Iida together? They'd be a nice couple, I think. Straight-laced Iida and laidback Ochaco. That's a proper combination of opposites. I'd like to be blunt. It is my primary nature. But this requires a little more… forethought, diplomacy? I don't want anybody to get their feelings hurt. So, I say, Hey, Ochaco, what do you think about our mutual friend Iida? And she says, Hmm, what do you mean? And I say, Well, I heard a rumor that he possibly had a crush on you. It's all hearsay, though. I was just curious, you know? Tsuyu ordered a bubble tea. Uraraka ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream. Fall was in the air. The atmosphere was cooling. Uraraka sipped happily, then spoke.

"I'm glad we had a moment to ourselves, Tsu. There's been something on my mind."

"Kero. What is it?" Tsuyu said.

She squirmed in her seat. "It's about a boy."

Tsuyu's finger leapt to her cheek. She tilted her head like a curious dog. How easy would it be if Ochaco said, right now, See, I might have a little crush on Iida. What a joyous moment! Everybody wins. Things might be difficult if she says otherwise.

"Go on." Tsuyu said. Her little eyebrows arched very slightly.

"I can't tell if you're interested or scared or bored or what." Uraraka said.

"That's just my face. I'm intrigued. I'm ready to listen, really."

"Sure, sorry. I'm just nervous. It's weird, isn't it? You have all these feelings and you don't quite know what they are or how to describe them? So many nameless, bubbling emotions and now I have to put it into words. But my feelings are so much more than words. You know?"

"I know, Ochaco." Tsuyu held Uraraka's hands, enveloping them with her long fingers. "So, go ahead."

Uraraka closed her eyes, grimaced. "I like Izuku."

Tsuyu's poker face remained intact. She blinked once, twice. My parents always said that life would be full of unexpected snags. Inconveniences, misfortunes, annoyances. Obstacles of small severity were common. I stepped on gum. I got a low test score. I missed the train. This isn't fatal. At the end of the day, everybody still goes on living. But, goddamn, what a difficult thing to hear Ochaco say. What a painful position we're in. And she doesn't know a thing, she doesn't know I have to snuff her crush, right here. It's not malice. No, I wouldn't do it out of malice. It's self-preservation, I have to defend my desires. I won't share Izuku, I won't let him go. I'm sorry, Ochaco. What an unfortunate clash of interests.

"Tsuyu?" Uraraka piqued. "You've sort of clammed up. And, of course, I really can't tell what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that suddenly we're in a tough situation." Tsuyu said. She sighed and this bothered Uraraka. Tsuyu did not sigh often.

"Ochaco, we're good friends, aren't we?" Tsuyu restarted.

"Yes. Definitely."

"I have bad news and possibly good news."

"Oh, I'd like the possibly good news first." Uraraka frowned into her hot chocolate.

"Sure. Iida is interested in dating you. He likes you."

"Oh, my." Uraraka blushed heavily. "That's surprising. I didn't think he'd be interested in dating. Serious as he is."

"Well, he's human. He's kind of cyborg or whatever but very human."

"And he likes me?" She pointed a skeptical finger at herself.

"Yes, this is honest news. Not a rumor." Tsuyu slurped bubble tea. Her throat was suddenly very dry. "He asked me to help possibly set things in motion, according to your interest."

"Okay, I accept that information. Bad news?"

"You know, as friends, I wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt, belittle, or embarass you."

"This sounds like pretty bad news." Uraraka nearly smiled. Her anxiety fogged over the table. She braced herself. Tsuyu was honest, after all. If something was bad, it was likely very bad.

"About you liking Izuku. I can't tell you how or what to feel but you can't date Izuku. I'm sorry. I'm dating Izuku." Tsuyu spat out. She wanted the damage done quickly.

"What?" The news bounced off of Uraraka. It would have to be clarified.

"I'm dating Izuku. We've been together for like a month." Tsuyu said. I'm the winner. I won this battle. I stay afloat but this is terrible. I feel like I'm committing betrayal. Dreadful, dreadful. She'll hate me. Should I have noticed? Was it possible?

"Oh... I see." Uraraka took a long, languid sip of her hot chocolate. She set it down and just as it clinked against the saucer, it began to float away. Tsuyu watched the cup rise higher and higher until it disappeared into the stratosphere.

"I'm sorry, Ochaco. I had no idea."

"No, it's fine. There's no helping it." She gathered her things and bowed. "Thanks for the drink."

Tearful and flushed, she evacuated and rushed away.

Tsuyu sighed. She did not feel like the Hero she strove to be. She set her elbows woefully on the table and frowned. Poor Ochaco. What am I going to do?