Ga and Private practice does not belong to me
After consoling Patty for a few minutes, Meredith and Derek bring Patty to a room in the hospital her operation will take place tomorrow. Patty has red eyes, her face is wet with tears, she holds Derek's hand tight. She feels a deep pain she does not understand why her father and her mother abandoned her. Patty sits on the bed and holds Felix.
Derek kneels down.
-Patty look at me, listen to me your operation will be done early tomorrow morning. Don't worry, the surgeons will do everything they can for your knee, I promise.
Patty nods slowly.
-Thank you. I don't wanna be alone tonight, Derek can you stay with me?
Meredith walks up to Patty.
-Patty, there is a battalion of the best nurses who will take care of you ...
Derek interrupts him.
-I'm going to stay with you tonight Patty don't worry.
Patty takes refuge in Derek's arms.
Meredith stays at a distance, she starts to be afraid of the rapprochement between Patty and Derek. She is afraid that Derek is the crazy idea of adopting Patty and that Patty becomes too attached to Derek. They can't do this again, and certainly not with such an old child. They have three children whom they loved more than anything, but ... Meredith doesn't want more children. She has known it since the birth of Lexie born after Derek's car accident and after Washington. She didn't tell Derek, she didn't think it was really necessary. Derek never brought up the subject of having children again. For security, she resumed her contraceptive pill in secret, she hid in the bathroom to prevent him from finding them. But that wasn't enough, Meredith heard news a few days ago and it shocked her. Meredith decides to speak.
-Derek, please, I need to talk to you.
Derek turns to her, immediately senses something is wrong. He apologizes to Patty and asks for a nurse to watch Patty. Once she arrives, he leaves Patty's room. Once alone in the hallway Derek takes Meredith's hand.
-It's okay ?
-We have to be a discussion, it's important.
-Okay
Meredith and Derek come back to the staff's break room, it's empty. Meredith closes it behind her. She is silent for a moment, she is terrified like a few days ago when she saw the results of the test.
-Meredith what's wrong?
-I think you're getting too close to Patty. This is not a good thing for her or for you, you give her false hope. After the operation, you have to call social services.
-Why ? Meredith listen to me, I've known Patty for a day, I saw the cold gaze of her mother and father. She needs a family, we could be that family. I don't want Patty to go through the system when I know you and I could be the best parents for her.
Meredith is speechless. She shouldn't, that's typical of Derek, he's the one who first found out about Zola. He loves children, he is the best father possible.
-Derek, it's not Zola. Zola was a baby. We already have 3 kids how we could handle 4 kids Patty is an amazing girl, I agree, but we can't adopt her. I think you didn't want any more children, you never expressed the desire to have more children.
Derek looks at Meredith for a moment, he has a bad feeling.
-You don't want more children, Meredith?
-I'm asking you the question Derek. You react under the influence of emotion, you want to help her , but ...
- You don't want more children, he said.
Meredith is exasperated.
-Very good, yes, I don't want more children! You are satisfied, I think you and I were on the same wavelength.
-We never talked about it! Patty needs us and it's an advantage that she's older, we won't have to start diapers again, I don't understand that you don't want her, when we know that your childhood would have ...
-Don't use my childhood to justify that in this case let's adopt all the children of the world !
Yes me too today, I thought about it too. Patty's parents disgust me, they disgust me, but I think Patty deserves better than an adoption to settle my childhood. I don't want more kids, I love Zola, Bailey and Lexie, but I don't want to start over, I'm happy the way we are. Derek, I need to tell you something, I've been on my pill for several months since Lexie was born.
Derek looks at Meredith in shock.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-I was afraid that you would give me a speech "Meredith we had to give Bailey a little brother"
-It's completely crazy. You know, I think you've learned that a romantic relationship needs communication, trust in each other, and certainly no lies.
-Derek ...
-Do you have any other news like that? !
Meredith is silent for a moment, this argument is about to reach a breaking point. Now is the time to break the news to him. Meredith takes a picture that she had put in her jeans pocket and places it on the table between them.
Derek looks and takes this photo, his gaze moving between this image and Meredith's face.
It was an ultrasound that Meredith did immediately after the pregnancy test result.
-You are...
-Yes, I'm pregnant, a few weeks.
Derek smiled broadly for a few seconds.
-It's fantastic, it's a real miracle with your hostile uterus and taking your pill.
Seeing Derek's happiness about her pregnancy hurts Meredith.
-Yes, I guess.
Derek looks at Meredith.
-Since when do you know?
-A few days.
-Why didn't you tell me?
-Because I was terrified and I didn't know how to put it ...
-Wait a second. You said you don't want your other kids. If we hadn't had this argument, would you have told me or you would have done away with not having told me?
Meredith feels this question fiercely.
-Who do you take me for ? I never would have done that without talking to you!
-Really ?
-You are the one who a few seconds ago gave me lessons of confidence in the other and now you dare to ask me that ?! Do you know me !
-You did not come to me to talk about the future of our family, you decided without discussing it together to take your pill. How am I supposed to trust?
Meredith and Derek both shut up, they both know they've gone too far that this argument needs to end.
-Derek ...
-Patty is waiting for me, I must go. Tell the children that I love them.
-Very well.
Derek is full of confused feeling, he knows he has gone too far, but he also knows he needs to go and calmly think about the situation. He leaves with the ultrasound.
Meredith remains alone in the titular rest room. She is deeply affected by Derek's insinuation, abort without telling him, the idea revolts her and makes her nauseous which she doesn't need. Meredith starts to cry a little, she dries her tears, then she picks up her things and picks up the children from the nursery. She wants to talk to Derek, she loves him, she doesn't want to lose him. She wants them to make the decisions together. In her bed, Meredith is not feeling well tonight, she is afraid for her marriage and her family. She takes advantage of Derek's absence to wear her Bowdoing t-shirt to breathe his scent and reassure herself.