Chapter 4

JJ isn't sure how long she's been sitting there, but she feels like she can't move. Her and Will finished their conversation and he had explained that he already had another place lined up to stay for the night.

Apparently he had been working up the courage to talk to her just the same as she had been doing with him. He had been prepared for what he knew was the inevitable, and had already secured his own apartment nearby.

The conversation could not have gone any better, as far as JJ was concerned. There had been a lot of tears, yes, but no raised voices, no arguing and no blaming anyone for what had happened. JJ wasn't sure how she had managed to be so lucky as to find a guy as understanding and amazing as Will, and for a brief moment, just after he pulled out of the drive and out of view, the blonde thought she had made a mistake.

Had she really just thrown away such a wonderful relationship to pursue a woman who might not even feel the same way she does? And even if Emily did feel the same way, was she willing to have their relationship, one that started as an affair, out in the open?

The tears flowed heavily from that point forward. She cried out every last one of them until there was nothing left to cry out. By the time the front door opened at exactly 7pm, JJ's face was puffy, her eyes red and her head pounding.

She barely had the strength to stand up and greet Henry at the door.

"Mommy!" the young boy shrieked as he let go of Spencer's hand and dashed forward to her waiting arms. He had a ring of chocolate around his mouth from his ice cream eating time and there was just a hint of mud at the hem of his pants where he had gotten messy playing. JJ bent down and scooped up the young boy and as soon as he hit her arms, she felt the tears start to peek at the corner's of her eyes again.

Reid noticed immediately.

"Henry," why don't you run upstairs and get ready for bed?" Spencer asks the young boy, his eyes never leaving JJ as he speaks. "I'm going to talk with Mommy and then I'll be in to read you a bedtime story."

"Five!" Henry shouts with a giggle and a smile breaks on JJ's face, though it's short lived. Reid, doesn't skip a beat, not wanting to give any indication to the young boy that something is clearly wrong with his mother.

"Well, we can discuss the number once you are in bed," Reid says ruffling the young boy's hair as he's moved closer to him and JJ from the front door now. Henry smiles and turns to run up the stairs just as Reid reaches out to lightly grab JJ's shoulder. He squeezes it comfortingly and JJ closes her eyes, willing herself to not start to cry.

She holds it as long as she can, until she hears the sound of Henry reaching the top of the stairs and padding down the hallway toward his room. She then releases the breath she'd been holding and the tears she'd been biting back. Her body falls forward into Reid, who catches her, wrapping her up in the tightest hug he had ever given her.

"Will's gone," JJ says through her sobs and Reid nods his head slowly. He had assumed something had happened when he returned and Will's car was gone. It wasn't like him to be called out late at night and he did know his best friend pretty well. She was clearly upset and something big had happened while Henry had been with him.

The young man eventually is able to lead his blonde best friend to the couch and get her settled. He brings her a glass of water and covers her with a blanket, giving her a loving gaze before making his way up to the bedroom of his godson.

Thirty minutes and 3 bedtime stories later, Henry is finally asleep and Reid makes his way back down the stairs. A part of him wants JJ to be asleep, knowing she could use it after the emotional roller coaster she had been on that night but the other part of him wants to talk to her and find out exactly what that roller coaster of emotions was about.

"Is he asleep?" JJ asks as soon as Reid comes into view and the young man smiles.

"He is. How are you feeling?" he asks sitting next to her on the couch. She moves her legs to give him room to sit and he smiles.

"All over the place," she admits. "I mean, I don't even know how I feel right now."

"What happened?" Reid asks calmly not wanting to pry but needing to understand in order to say the right things.

"Will left," she states simply.

"You said that. But what actually happened?"

JJ lets out a huge breath of air before explaining everything. There was no sense in hiding it anymore, at least not from her best friend. She knew she needed to talk to someone about it and besides Emily, who she knew she couldn't talk to about this just yet, Spencer was always the first person she turned to in her time of need. She starts at the beginning. She tells Reid about the first time she felt something more than friendship for Emily and how that feeling slowly turned into something way beyond what she ever expected. She tells him about their affair and keeping it a secret and hearing Emily whisper those three little words that had set this whole thing in motion. She finishes by telling him everything Will said to her that night. How kind and caring and understanding he had been and how somehow, that understanding had her questioning everything. How now all she could think about was that she had let her marriage end for a woman who might not even want to be in a relationship with her out in the open.

"I just don't know how I let it get this far," JJ admits when the story is over. "What's wrong with me?"

"Well statistically speaking two-thirds of all unmarried couples who have a child together split up before the child is 12. And 40% of all unmarried relationships end due to affairs. Now of course, typically men are twice as likely to be the one to cheat however women do account for 10% of these situations."

"Thanks Reid," JJ says finding a smile on her face despite not loving the statistics he had provided.

"And while there isn't sufficient data to exactly give you numbers on how many women leave their boyfriend or husband for other women, it is very clear that it has become much more common in the last several years, considering the change in culture and society with acceptance of homosexuality."

"Spence," JJ says trying to stop him even more now because he clearly didn't get the hint the first time.

"Sorry, my point is that there is nothing wrong with you."

"Thank you."

"So what are you going to do now? Are you going to tell her?" Reid asks curious as to what the next step is for his blonde best friend.

"Ugh, I don't know," JJ says throwing her hands over her face and pinching the bridge of her nose. She can feel a headache pounding on her temples, likely due to all the crying she's been doing. "What if she really didn't mean it the way I do? What if she isn't ready to be in a committed relationship with me?"

"I don't think that's true at all," Spencer says frowning slightly at her words. "It's very clear that Emily is deeply in love with you. I mean, everyone knows she is, we talk about it all the time," he explains in the most casual manner ever, which causes JJ's eyes to shoot up to meet his immediately.

"What do you mean everyone talks about it all the time?"

"Come on JJ," Spencer starts. "Everyone can see the way she looks at you. We are profilers you know."

"Except me I guess," JJ says shaking her head. "I mean, I know she cares about me, but this is entirely different. This is me confessing to wanting to be with her, in a real relationship. We all know Emily Prentiss isn't great with commitment."

"I don't know," Spencer says thoughtfully. "She might surprise you."

Across town Emily sits in her living room, Sergio curled up on her lap as Penelope Garcia rambles on about yet another very important purchase she had made earlier that week.

"Em, are you even listening to me?" the peppy blonde asks, shaking the older brunette from her thoughts of JJ.

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry Pen, I'm just lost in my own world a little tonight."

"Want to tell me about what's bothering you yet?"

"What do you mean?" Emily asks raising a brow as she finishes the last of her wine and sets the glass down on the table in front of the couch. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."

"You can't lie to me Emily Prentiss. I may not be a profiler but I know enough to know something is going on that's got you all in your head."

Emily doesn't know what exactly she can say to keep the tech analyst from prying more and she starts to wrack her brain at a good way to discuss her actual problem without letting the other woman know that the object of her affections is actually their mutual friend and co-worker.

"Alright, maybe you are right."

"Oh goodie," Penelope says excited to finally get the gossip. "Tell me, tell me everything."

"I guess I've just been trying to deal with the fact that I have feelings for someone who might not reciprocate them," Emily replies casually, already trying to come up with a backstory in her mind about who the person she might be talking about could be so that she doesn't tip Garcia off as to who she is really talking about.

"Oh, so we are talking about JJ then?" Garcia asks and Emily's eyes nearly fall out of her head at the words.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, were we supposed to not notice that you were hopelessly in love with the beautiful blonde?"

"I'm not," Emily starts, feeling the need to defend herself in that moment, not wanting anyone to catch on and for JJ to be thrown under the bus.

"Please stop," Penelope says before Emily can continue. "If you say what you are about to say right now then it would be a flat out lie. I suspected long ago that you were harboring feelings for her."

"Great," Emily says standing from the couch to pour more wine in her glass and then settling back down. "So everyone knows then?"

"I mean, if by everyone you mean the team, and by knows you mean that you are pining for JJ then, yes, everyone knows. But if you are referring to the fact that you and blondie have been actually having an affair for the past two years, then no, no one else knows but me."

Emily actually spits out the wine she had just taken into her mouth and starts to cough at the words spoken by her friend.

"I'm sorry, affair?" Emily asks as Penelope frowns and wipes the remnants of Emily's wine spray that had gotten onto her shirt. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I saw you," Penelope says casually as if it's the most common thing in the world. Emily's eyes go wide at the realization she won't be able to hide the truth from their friend in this moment and Penelope smiles to hopefully get her to relax. When that doesn't do the trick, she continues to explain. "It was about eighteen months ago and I had to come into the office super early to finish up something for Rossi that I had totally forgotten about the night before. I was sure I'd be the only one there but when I pulled into the garage I noticed both your cars. So I thought I would stop by and say good morning but when I did I heard the two of you up in JJ's old office. I made my way up there to see if maybe you both wanted to get some coffee or something and boy, was I surprised."

Emily remembered that day. It was the first and only time they had ever hooked up at the office. Emily had gone in to get some work done early and JJ was still there from the night before. She had found JJ asleep on her couch and upon waking the blonde, one thing had led to another.

"Oh my god," Emily says her hand going to her forehead to cover her eyes. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I guess I just figured you guys weren't ready to say anything. And I didn't want to cause problems for JJ," Garcia admits not seeming at all worried about the idea of JJ and her being together.

"Oh JJ's going to be mortified," Emily remarks and Garcia just shakes her head side to side.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. I can't believe I haven't said anything for this long! Morgan asks me at least twice a week if I think something is going on between the two of you."

"Morgan knows too?"

"No!" Garcia clarifies quickly. "He doesn't think something is actually going on but he knows you have feelings for JJ. It's painfully obvious hun," the blonde finishes, her arm reaching out to squeeze Emily's in support. "It's fine. I'm the only one who knows anything for sure. And my lips are sealed. Like really sealed this time. This isn't the type of thing made for gossip."

"Thanks Pen," Emily says smiling weakly, still caught off guard by the information but thankful it didn't turn out much worse. At least now she had someone she could confide in about her feelings and what was going on with JJ.

"So, does this mean you want to actually talk to me and tell me what's going on now?"

Emily spends the next hour catching the analyst up on everything from how the affair started to their last interaction today. When she's finished, Garcia crinkles her brow slightly before a smile washes over her face.

"Do you think she heard you? Tell her that you love her I mean," she asks finally realizing what might have caused the sudden shift in JJ's demeanor after hearing about Emily's late night confession back in LA.

"That would make sense," Emily replies finally figuring it out herself. "Oh no, what if she heard me?" Panic suddenly takes over her brain.

"Relax," Garcia says seeing the panic in her friend's eyes. "You guys just need to talk about it, that's all."

"I don't know if I can," Emily admits her fingers heading to her mouth so she can start to bite at her nails. "Pretty sure she doesn't feel the same, considering how she's been avoiding me all week."

"Maybe she's just avoiding you because she feels the same and is afraid to tell you."

"I don't know Pen, all I know is that the last thing I want to do is lose her, but I can't ask her to give up her family for me either."

"You really are in love with her aren't you?" Garcia asks finally getting Emily to meet her eyes.

"I am," Emily admits, finally feeling relieved that she can say it out loud to someone other than Sergio.

"Then you have to tell her."