A/N: This officially has more chapters than my other crappy story and it hasn't even been up nearly a year yet, haha. So proud of myself, I admit it. I hope the last chapter was well liked. As always, thank you to all you wonderful people who have reviewed, your comments put a smile on my face! Special shout outs to ObsidianPhantom and owlloveyou, who have left me some of the best reviews! Not that I don't love all the comments I've received from everyone else, because you guys rock! Almost 90 reviews as of the start of this chapter, think we will make the 100 goal by chapter 20?

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho and I'm not making any money by writing this, boo.

Warnings: Large amounts of profanity, adult themes, violence, blood/gore, sexual themes, etc.

. . .

The end of October came and went in a blur of school work, crime fighting (I got to put my first suspect in hand cuffs!) and endless amounts of research. The beginning of November continued in much the same fashion, where I would attend my classes, Kendo club, and then proceed to work. During this time not only did Ren efficiently assist me in dredging up any information on uncle Takahiro, no matter how slight, but he also renewed his efforts on helping me find Hitomi.

I don't know why I continued to trust him, even when my friends did not. Even Yusuke had jumped on the Ren hating band wagon, especially after my drunken escapades with Hiei several weeks ago. The little fire demon had been quick to spill my secrets to his comrades, the most prominent one being about the dragon heart of course. Apparently I had given him my permission to tell them sometime during that same night I'd become belligerently drunk. I still didn't believe him, though he had insisted it was true.

The memory of just a few weeks ago brought a shit eating grin to my face, no matter how hard I tried to suppress it. Even underage, I'd managed to coerce the convenience store clerk into allowing me to buy more alcohol than was really necessary (Hiei's menacing presence had probably helped my cause) and I'd drunk to my heart's content. As soon as we stepped out of the store's doorway, I'd opened my first bottle in its little paper sack and begun to down the sweet, sweet nectar of the gods. Hiei hadn't said a word, but he hadn't participated either. Instead he'd chosen to police the situation like some grumpy old man.

Not that it had stopped me from waking up both Keiko and Yusuke rather rudely, in which Yusuke had decided to join me in my drunken shenanigans, much to Keiko's annoyance. Ah, what a night it had been. I'd drank until I couldn't feel anymore and then had continued on until I was completely oblivious to the outside world – it was just me and my sake….and well, Yusuke's drunken singing, which was entertaining to say the least.

I guess that's when things had slipped and I'd told him about Ren. Hiei's little irritating comments hadn't helped the situation and now Yusuke hated him just as much as Kazuma seemed to. Keiko on the other hand was still firmly on Amano Ren's side and continued to insist that I give him a chance. I'd drowned out her opinion with loud music (Megallica!) and more alcohol. No matter how many times I told her I didn't need a man in my life, she'd still insist on the contrary.

While the drink had helped me momentarily forget, what came after was what truly stabilized my resolve to redouble my efforts in finding my sister. It had been in the wee hours of the morning, two or three AM when Keiko had become fed up and dragged her drunken boyfriend to bed. I'd remained behind, resting in one of the arm chairs with my feet propped up on the kotatsu. Hiei had started a fire, picked a seat in the window, and we'd sat together in silence for a long time. I couldn't readily recall when I began to speak, treating the fire demon as if he were some kind of therapist, but he let me dump my thoughts and memories onto him. He never spoke a word, no comments forth coming; I just let it all hang out.

I had told him little anecdotes about my childhood, starting with my training and Ojichan. From there, I had managed to muster up enough courage to speak of my sister. I didn't speak of her as if she was dead, because even now I refused to believe that…she was alive…somewhere. I just had to find her. I'd told Hiei about many a favorite memory, such as the time Hitomi had given me my first leather jacket and the time she'd decorated our entire apartment for Christmas because it was our first year celebrating alone. I spoke of her reverently, like she was an angel that had fallen from heaven the day she'd been born.

Even I didn't understand why I thought of her that way, when there were also plenty of times I'd wanted to hit her just for annoying me, but that was neither here nor there. Hiei must have thought I was crazy.

I was knocked from my reverie a moment later when a large stack of papers were suddenly dropped onto my desk with a resounding smack. I was at the precinct, supposed to be working hard, but day dreaming instead. The person who had dropped said papers was our little intern Higashi Akio and he was grinning at me rather stupidly, obviously proud of himself for something.

"What the hell's this Higashi-san?" I asked, indicating the tower of documents blocking my computer screen.

Ren wheeled his chair out from his desk just to shoot me an annoyed look, "Those files you asked for last week, obviously."

Oh my god! How could I forget that! Ren had found a lead that might possibly be connected to Hitomi, one that was actually promising. It had taken a lot of phone calls to different precincts (I'd been dicked around a lot) and much begging to my superiors to be allowed to handle the cold case files. Ren and I had pitched the idea to our Captain about a week ago, after some weathering he'd eventually agreed that we could reopen the cases on a trial basis.

His exact words had been, "I'm putting a lot of faith on you two, don't fuck it up."

Normally I wouldn't be allowed anywhere near it with the possibility of it being associated with my sister, except Ren and I had conveniently left that bit out. What the higher ups didn't know wouldn't hurt them. As long as I did as the Captain said and didn't fuck anything up.

This was my first big break, not just in my crusade to find Hitomi, but also my career. I'd be damned if I messed up now.

Of course…there was one "tiny" issue…we had to be supervised like children. The person chosen for the job was none other than Detective Miyasaki Makoto, much to my chagrin. She'd been stuck up my ass since then, forgoing her own cases just so she could "help" with mine and Ren's, when really all she'd been doing was torturing me and flirting with my partner. It was disgusting to say the least.

I shot a wide smile up towards Higashi, "Thank you so much!"

The intern smiled back, his thin frame almost non-existent and messy brown hair lying in disarray around his head. At least he was dressed professionally, I thought. Higashi-san was nice enough and sort of the comic relief of the precinct, but that was mostly because he was clumsy and rather geeky. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

He continued to smile at me and I gave Ren a look that clearly stated that I wanted him to get rid of the kid for me.

"Ahem, Akio-san," the boy perked up at Ren using his first name and turned his creepy smile towards the other man instead, "Great job getting us those files. You can go now."

"Right!" the boy trilled, completely unfazed that we were being rather rude and then he jogged off to go assist another officer.

I rolled my eyes, fucking kids man, must be nice to be that care free.

I eyed the huge stack of files ominously and then peeked over them to pin Ren with a pair of pleading eyes. He looked unimpressed, having caught on rather quickly to what I was trying to convey.

"Get your own damn coffee for once," he snarled even as he got up to do just as I wanted.

While he wandered off to the precinct's little kitchen I began to take up every available space I could find on mine and Ren's desks, pushing his stupid little knickknacks out of the way (what kind of grown man kept video game figurines on their desk, I mean really?) and into a drawer. Each empty spot was filled with a folder and each folder contained information on women between the ages of fourteen and twenty-one that had been kidnapped or gone missing in the past five years. What had drawn Ren to these cases was something no one else had previously noticed – they all had red hair. The connection to Hitomi and I was too blatant to ignore.

"Hey, what did you do with my action figures?!" an incensed Ren barked as he came trotting back out from the kitchenette with two steaming coffee mugs held in each hand.

Did he seriously just say action figures, was he for real? I was sorely tempted to tell him to grow the fuck up.

"Your stupid toys are fine, now get over here and help me look through these."

Having his "action figures" called toys earned me a heated glare which I did my best to ignore, even as a stupid little grin crossed over my lips. I'd never tire of picking a fight with Amano Ren.

We spent the rest of our day going over the case files; we took them with us on patrol and poured over them while eating lunch. We read snippets at stop lights and when we were pulled over in order to observe the neighborhood for any suspicious activity. Twice we were interrupted when we had to pull someone over for one mundane thing or another and then once again when a call came over the radio of a robbery in progress.

I slapped the thick file I had in my hands down onto my lap so I could pick up the receiver, "Squad car 99 reporting, Officer Morimoto speaking."

"Morimoto-san, there is a 160 in progress within the Shibuya shopping center, shots have been fired."

"We're only a block away, Officer Amano and I will report to the scene," was my curt reply to the transponder.

I put the receiver back where it belonged as Ren threw on his sirens and performed an illegal U-turn so we would be headed in the right direction. The streets were busy today and we were forced to weave in and out of traffic even as the drivers did their best to get out of our way. Thank kami Ren was an adapt driver or we might not have made it to the scene in one piece.

We pulled up into chaos; people were hiding behind their cars and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I heard screams of terror and women calling for their children they had lost in the mess. Weekends were the busiest days and there were far too many people milling about. This could turn into a cluster fuck real quick.

It was obvious which store had been targeted, three men stood outside a rather high end boutique, one that probably pulled in a lot of cash on busy days like today. One man, standing in the middle of the group, had a large duffle bag slung over one shoulder while his other arm was wrapped around a terrified woman – the store's clerk no doubt. The other two suspects had guns, one with an automatic rifle the other a 9 millimeter pistol. They were all wearing ski masks, telling me they'd learned their robbery skills from watching shitty movies and didn't actually have any skill. That could be just as dangerous though…because a panicked, inexperienced criminal was a trigger happy one.

The guy to the left had his pistol trained on the clerk's head while the one on the right kept his rifle pointed towards the crowd. They'd seen our vehicle pull up and before either Ren or I exited the squad car we checked our guns for ammo and prepared for what could possibly turn into a shoot-out.

We exited the cruiser calm and collected, keeping our guns drawn but pointed towards the ground. Like a professional that had done this a hundred times over, Ren began to negotiate with the robbers.

"Let's not be hasty fellas, let the lady go so we can talk face to face," he said, being mindful to keep his tone unthreatening.

The three men cast wary looks at each other and sensing what was about to happen I grabbed Ren's shoulder quickly to pull him out of harm's way – these men wouldn't be up for chatting today.

Shots fired, screams filled my ears and as I tried to pull my unsuspecting partner out of the fray I felt the searing pain of a bullet enter my shoulder and lodge itself beneath the bone there. I bit my lip to keep from crying out and dived behind our cruiser. Ren came to rest at my side, his back pressed against the metal as we heard more bullets enter the other side of the car, loud and unyielding.

"Fuck, Kasumi! I didn't think they'd just start blasting off like that!"

He leaned around the safety of the vehicle to return fire when the man with the rifle was forced to stop shooting and reload his gun with a fresh clip of bullets.

"Stop or this bitch is going to die!" I heard one of them yell and knew they were speaking of their hostage.

Shit, we needed to get her out of the fray and fast! I ignored my wound, even as blood seeped down the inside of my shirt and began to soak the fabric through. I only had precious seconds before Ren noticed what had happened.

I leapt from behind the car, my gun held steady in my hands and let off two rapid fire shots. At this point I knew I was within proper boundaries to use deadly force, the people running for their lives, and the woman they still had in their grasp would have been enough to begin with even if I hadn't been shot.

I hit the man holding the pistol in the chest and he went down, dead or unconscious I wasn't sure. The rifleman was still fiddling with his clip and I took the opportunity to let off a third shot that hit him in the skull – dead, he was definitely dead.

That left the man with the hostage who didn't appear to have a weapon and knowing he was screwed he shoved the woman away and into my line of sight as a distraction and then he took off running shortly after. I swore under my breath and left Ren so I could pursue him. My partner called after me but he had his hands full with the victims, besides, I was a faster runner than he was.

I was hot on the guy's heels, the pain in my shoulder doing little to slow me down because I was so determined to catch this prick you bet your sweet ass I ended up tackling him to the ground. He struggled, smearing my blood across his back and allowing me to get a good punch in once or twice. My shoulder was on fire…the bullet had moved deeper.

I wrenched his arms back, slapped my handcuffs around his wrists and hauled the asshole to his feet. At least one of these bastards would see their day in court and face the consequences of their actions.

"Get off me you stupid cunt!"

Oh, ho! That was just one word you didn't want to use to describe me. I kneed him hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him so he couldn't speak further and cause himself more harm. That was when Ren finally reached my side, out of breath and wheezing like a chain smoker – pathetic.

"Took you long enough," I snapped and shoved the scumbag towards Ren, who caught him awkwardly.

"Nice job catching this guy Kasumi and you killed the other two, you fucking badass!"

There was nothing 'badass' about it, I'd just done my job, nothing more. It certainly wasn't something to be celebrating over; I'd just killed two people for fuck sakes.

I started to walk off, leaving him behind but his voice stopped me in my tracks, "Hey…are you bleeding?!"

"Let's just go back – "

"Did you get shot?!" he cut me off with another panic filled question that only made our suspect laugh.

"Good, at least one of you got hit!" this earned him an elbow jab from Ren that had the guy wheezing pitifully again.

"Keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you," my partner snarled at him, "And take that ridiculous mask off."

I turned just in time to see Ren rip the ski mask off the head of our criminal only to discover someone much younger than I had expected underneath.

"Shit," I swore, "He's just a fucking kid!"

Did that mean the two I had shot and killed…were they just kids too? Suddenly the pain in my shoulder seemed a lot less severe than the churning of my stomach.

Ren had seen the distress in my eyes and so he said, "Kasumi…you didn't know. You saved a lot of lives today, that's all the matters."

But was it? Was that all that mattered? I'd just taken two teens lives from them today, teens that might have had a chance at rehabilitation but I'd just snatched that out from underneath them. I was horrendously disgusted with myself. I couldn't even look up from the ground.

Fuck, I'd have a hard time looking at myself in a mirror at this point even.

We arrived back at the store front in silence, other cruisers had come to join ours on the street and a barricade had been put up to keep out the general public. Coroners were already bagging up the bodies of the other two boys and I was hauled off by a superior for a statement while Ren got the kid situated to be transported to the nearest station for questioning.

I was careful to hide my injury from everyone, turning my left shoulder so it was out of view, or covering it up with my police jacket as nonchalantly as I could. No one noticed, too caught up in the aftermath of the very public shoot-out to really care about my wellbeing.

I gave my statement quickly and efficiently, without sparing the details, so I could be dismissed for the day. The commanding officer thanked me for my good work in which I had no reply and then I left to go join Ren. He awaited me at our squad car (which was riddled with bullet holes, enough to make me wonder if it was safe to drive) with his arms crossed over his chest and an unimpressed look on his face.

"Take me home," I said, as I came to a stop in front of him.

"You need to go to a hospital," he replied.

Not in the mood for an argument; I turned and began to walk away. I would walk all the way back to the apartment if that was how he was going to be. A hand on my uninjured shoulder had me grinding to a halt and I cocked my head so I could glare at my partner over my shoulder.

"What are you going to do Kasumi?"

"Take me home…and you'll find out," I said through clenched teeth.

The trip back to my apartment was driven in an uncomfortable silence. I spent much of the time trying to ignore the fiery agony my shoulder was in and Ren spent it casting worried sidelong glances at me. I returned each one with a cold stare that made beads of sweat drip down his brow. The tension only continued to mount as we pulled up to the curb outside of my building and I had still refused to speak to him.

When he tried to wrap one of my arms around his shoulders, probably because he had some macho sense of male superiority where he felt the need to help me when it wasn't actually necessary, I got fed up and started a fight with him.

We argued all the way up the three flights of stairs, with him screaming at me to just go to a hospital already before I permanently damaged something and I screamed right back with numerous obscenities and excuses as to why I did not need the aid of a doctor. We came barreling through the apartment door in much the same fashion, our voices rising in pitch as I sent the door flying open in my anger.

Ren's barrage of lecturing ceased abruptly, causing me to also pause so I could figure out what he was staring at.

I pursed my lips at what I saw – today just wasn't my lucky day. Sitting in various places around my living room was just about every person I could have wished to avoid; it was glaringly obvious none of them had expected me to arrive home so early. They looked as if they'd been in the middle of some kind of meeting, discussing something they felt I shouldn't be privy to apparently.

I had no idea what to say to Ren, because I had a blue haired Shinigami sitting at my kotatsu and a spikey haired, red eyed freak camped out on one of my windowsills. What was there to say 'Oh hey, these are my demonic buds, don't worry, they've sworn off eating humans?' right, I was sure that would go over real well. So I chose to say nothing. Was it the best course of action? Probably not, but screw it.

I stepped through the threshold, the silence practically deafening as I kicked off my shoes and hung up my jacket. This one move caused me to wince as I struggled to free my left arm without moving my shoulder. Though it hadn't been extremely noticeable, I should have realized that a room full of people with heightened awareness would realize there was something wrong with me pretty damn quick.

Ever the observant one I heard the fire demon bark from across the room, "You're injured?"

At Hiei's words Kazuma's gaze zeroed in on my shoulder and the grotesque amount of blood soaking through my shirt there and he was off the couch and on his feet fast as lightening. I laughed at Ren's incredulous look as my friend didn't immediately race towards me, but the bathroom instead. He knew exactly what I needed.

I made my way over to the kotatsu which would serve as a decent work space, mindful of how many eyes were on me, I brushed Ren off as he tried to once again assist me on my way there. I told him to pick a seat and shut the fuck up and to my utter amazement he actually listened, probably fed up with my shit.

I didn't bother with introductions, everyone here knew who he was, except for maybe Botan but someone would fill her in eventually. Speaking of the grim reaper, she had come rushing over to my side as soon as I'd settled myself down at the table and was already poking and prodding at me, even as I continually brushed her hands away. Didn't these people understand personal space?

"Oh lord, you've been shot!" she screeched after receiving her first glimpse of the hole in my shoulder.

She automatically reached forward to place her hands on me again, probably to try and heal the wound but I was quick to slap them away, "The bullet didn't exit through."

She looked confused at my words and I sighed, "I don't want it stuck in there forever," I also made sure to shoot a pointed look towards Ren, because even though they knew about him, the knowledge wasn't mutual on his end.

The less he knew about this group of people the better. Botan caught my drift and backed off, nodding imperceptibly so I would know she understood.

Kazuma came rushing back into the room with my medical kit and was quick to settle it beside me. He sat nearby, to play the role of my scrub nurse by the looks. I tried to give him a reassuring smile; however he did not return the gesture and just pried open the large first aid kit to begin retrieving the tools I would need.

"Wait a second…you're not gunna take it out yourself are you?" asked Yusuke, both disbelief and disgust prominent within his tone.

"Hell yeah I am, go get me a bottle of liquor out of the kitchen, highest proof you can find."

Wide eyed, he scuttled off to do just that. In the meantime I listened with one ear to several people at once tell me why it was a terrible idea (mostly Keiko and Ren, with Kazuma throwing his own input in here and there) while I prepped everything.

With the help of Kazuma I pulled out a pair of forceps, medical shears, bandages, gauze, and last but not least a suture kit. I had no inclination to allow Botan or Ren a chance to heal me. I'd had enough supernatural shit happen to me lately to last a lifetime, I was just fine without it thank you.

Yusuke returned with the final item I needed, my expensive bottle of 120-proof whiskey I'd been saving for a special occasion. Oh well, this would have to do.

My observers made me anxious but I had little time to worry about them, my shoulder was becoming more enflamed by the second and the worse the swelling became the harder it would be to remove the bullet.

I turned to Kazuma, "Sorry Kazu, I know you hate seeing me treat myself."

He shook his head and sighed, "If your arm rots off don't blame me, that's all I'm saying."

"Kasumi-chan, I really think you should go to the hospital…" Keiko interjected, coming to kneel at my other side.

"You should listen to her Morimoto," and Ren just had to add his two cents, didn't he.

He was sitting on the arm of the couch even though there was an available seat next to Yusuke, but my demon hunting friend had pinned my partner with an intimidating stare.

I leaned over closer to Keiko, "Go deal with your man would you?"

Her face flushed and she frowned at me sternly before rising from the floor to take the last seat on the couch, thus putting a bodily wall between Yusuke and Ren. This didn't stop the black haired man from trying to lean over her, behind her, and in front of her to continue to keep his eyes literally trained on my partner.

With Keiko a safe distance away, I nervously cast a look around the room and mumbled, "Sorry guys."

I picked up the medical shears and thanked the heavens I always wore a sports bra to work in case I had to do any serious jogging. Though my modesty would mostly remain intact, my hide certainly wouldn't when I had to explain to my Captain that I needed a new uniform top. They didn't come cheap, ya know.

"If you're grossed out easily, I wouldn't watch the rest," I said, as I removed the vestiges of my light blue dress shirt and the tank top that had been underneath.

That was Keiko's cue to go make a pot of coffee but Botan lingered, undecided on whether she wanted to watch out of morbid curiosity or retreat to the safety of the kitchen with my brunette friend. Eventually retreat won out and she quickly exited the room to 'give Keiko a hand.'

I tuned out the world around me, twisted the cap off the whiskey bottle and took a long pull. The liquor burned on its way down, setting my blood on fire. I took another sip just for good measure and savored the taste of it. Then I up ended the bottle over my shoulder, pouring the alcohol over the wound to sterilize it. Out of all the shit I kept in my kit I hadn't had any antiseptic, I would have to remember to pick some up, not that I had known I was going to get shot today for Christ sakes.

The wound stung unpleasantly thanks to the whiskey and it made a horrible mess across the kotatsu, where I had done my best to leverage my arm in a position that would make my shoulder easily accessible. I finished with sterilizing the area, it was the best I could do considering, and took up the forceps.

This was going to hurt like a motherfucker.

I plunged the forceps into the hole, my eyes squeezing shut at the first instance of pain but then I gritted my teeth and opened them so I could see what I was doing. It took a lot of digging I wasn't prepared for; the bullet was lodged almost underneath my collar bone, so it took a gruesomely painful five minutes to find. Eventually I felt the forceps close over the mutilated piece of metal and with a spurt of blood that dripped down to stain my sports bra, I extracted it in one quick jerk. A growl that started as a hoarse scream left my mouth but I didn't want to be seen as weak in front of all these people. The bullet and forceps landed on the table with a loud clang, the red of my blood splattering across the wooden surface along with them. I took another long pull off the whiskey – liquid courage.

I heard various mumbled mentions of disgust, the loudest in the bunch being Yusuke who shouted something along the lines of, "Holy fuckin shit balls!" which made no sense, but was sort of funny anyway.

As for Ren he was on his feet faster than I could blink, however after Yusuke also shot to his feet and Hiei growled from the windowsill he thought better of it and paused in indecision between the couch and kotatsu. Ren wouldn't do anything, not here, not now. He hadn't shown any of them his powers and considering he still refused to speak of them around me, I highly doubted he would make the decision to use them. Just as I'd thought, he sneered coldly and then returned to his seat. His eyes never left me, making me feel extremely self-conscious – I was almost thankful for the distraction of sewing up my shoulder.

I carefully thread a suture needle with the stitching material and with my jaw clenched I went to work. It was slow going only being able to use one hand and I was thankful that the bullet hadn't exited, simply because I wouldn't have been able to stitch my own back like this.

The hole was rather small, it took only five stitches to close it completely and I used my teeth to pull the last one tight and tie a knot into it. I took up a spare piece of gauze, soaked it in whiskey, and then cleaned up the area around the wound. More stinging and burning ensued.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kazuma had moved to snatch the bandages and gauze packages off the table and for the first time that day I allowed someone to coddle me, if only just a little. Besides, Kazu was a pro at wrapping bandages.

He was gentle with me, carefully placing a couple of gauze pads over the freshly sealed wound and then came the bandages; he started at my stomach where he created a base so they wouldn't slide. Then he wrapped them up and around my back to come over my shoulder. This went on for a while until he'd used most of a roll and he cut the last strip with the same scissors I'd used to cut my clothing. He expertly tucked the end in with the rest so it wouldn't come undone and then gave my uninjured shoulder a tight squeeze. I smiled at him in response, the alcohol doing its job and taking away some of the pain even if it had thinned my blood.

I held the bottle out to Kazu jokingly even though I knew he would refuse it – he hated whiskey. To my surprise he grabbed it up, took a small sip, and made a face like it was the worst thing to ever touch his lips. It made a true smile grace my face, which was shortly lost when Ren opened his big fat mouth again.

"Is this a normal fucking thing for you?"

I pinned him with a flat look and said, "What do you think, dumbass?"

His face turned to stone at my words; I guess he didn't like what I had to say. With his jaw clenched and hands balled into fists I watched as Ren calmly rose from the couch, nodded politely to Keiko and then turned to me.

"I'll call you later; take some of your stolen antibiotics," he gestured angrily towards my first aid kit, "Just in case."

He took one last look around the room with narrowed eyes, turned and walked out the door. He didn't slam it behind him or make a scene and that in itself meant something to me. Normally when Ren was angry he wasn't afraid to show it, he'd yell and carry on, possibly hit something…however, this time he'd been so controlled. I knew I had pissed him off, I could see the underlying rage in his eyes, so why hadn't he started a fight with me like he normally would? Because of who was here? Or was he truly just that angry that if he'd blown up now he would have done something he'd regret?

I was pulled from my musings when I saw Keiko and Botan comically stick their heads out of a crack in the kitchen door and so I called to them, "It's safe now, you can come out."

I heard the two girls breathe sighs of relief before retreating back into the kitchen so they could bring out coffee for everyone. While they were temporarily distracted I grabbed up a couple of gauze pads and wiped up the majority of the leftover blood on the table. It would need a thorough cleaning later, but it would have to do for now.

After everyone had become settled and coffee had been passed around (I'd waited to see Hiei take one, but he never did) and Keiko had interrogated me on Ren's whereabouts in which I'd told her I couldn't care less, came the inevitable questions about how I'd managed to get shot in the first place.

I wish I could have told them some crazy story, where I was super heroic and cool, but instead all I managed to do was stare down into the darkness in my cup. I hadn't been heroic today – I had killed two teens. That wasn't something to boast about.

Kazuma saw how distraught I was and because he was always so creepily in tune with other people's emotions he caught on pretty fast as to why I was so upset.

"Did you…kill someone today, Kas?"

I placed a mask over my face, the one I'd had to use at my parent's and grandparent's funerals, the same one I'd used every day in the academy so I would be left alone, the same face I used during a competition to intimidate my opponent. Dead eyes and face as hard as marble, I looked back up at my friend and that was all it took. He frowned sympathetically and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as gently as he was able. This scenario was literally one of my worst nightmares come to life. I had never wanted to come home from a day at work to have to tell someone I loved that I'd taken another's life. I believed in self-defense and defending those you cared about, but death should be avoided at all costs.

If they'd just been adults…I think I would hurt just a bit less. This was something…I should really just deal with on my own.

"Kasumi-san, may I ask…what exactly happened?"

Kurama, ever curious Kurama, if you weren't so damn polite I might just smack you.

"It wasn't demon related, for your information."

"Doesn't mean we don't still wanna know," added Yusuke.

"I'll make a deal with you," I said, "Tell me why you were all gathered in my apartment and I'll fill you in on today."

This stumped them; even Kazuma looked guilty as all hell. Only Kurama could still continue to look me in the eye, a contemplative look on his face as he mulled over my offer.

"I don't see why we couldn't tell you…" he said.

"She doesn't need to know," Hiei snapped from the windowsill, joining in on the conversation for the first time.

I swung around to glare at him, making my shoulder burn in the process and it probably wasn't worth the strain, except I felt the need to do it anyway. Why was he always making things harder for me, it was irritating!

He studiously ignored me, not even acknowledging that I'd moved at all, his face as stoic as ever. He was giving Kurama the stink eye, basically challenging the other man to refute his authority. The redhead smiled apologetically at the hiyoukai and then turned back to the rest of the group.

"How about we put it up to a vote? That would be the fairest way."

You've got to be kidding me. If it was something pertaining to me the only vote that should matter is mine, so when Kurama called out for a show of hands, mine shot into the air and I waved it around sarcastically so everyone would see. To my utter surprise both Keiko and Kazuma kept their hands down, along with Hiei. What the hell was their problem now?

"It seems we are tied," said Kurama, who obviously hadn't bothered to count my vote.

I slapped my hands to the table, the alcohol numbing my shoulder when I jarred it in the process, and rose abruptly from my seat. I snatched the bottle of whiskey off the table on my way and snubbed Kazuma when he asked where I was going.

I chugged from the bottle most of the way up the stairs and then again upon entering my room. I slammed the door behind me, set the bottle of liquor on the bedside table and leveraged myself down onto my bed without ripping out my stitches.

I lay on my back, spread eagled and sideways across the mattress. If they didn't want to tell me and my friends wanted to play the 'let's keep secrets from Kasumi' game then so be it. I had other shit to worry about anyway; I didn't need their garbage piled on top of it.

I remained in that same spot for what felt like ages, the muffled sounds of my friends down below as they moved about the apartment. At one point I pulled out my cell phone to call Ren but when I dialed his number it just rang and rang until I got his voicemail, I didn't bother leaving a message, he must still be mad at me. I would just have to wait until he decided to call.

I threw the device across the bed where it landed with a soft plop on one of my pillows and then I just let myself drift away into the nether. I distantly watched the sun creep across the sky as the shadows on my ceiling shifted and changed. As day turned into night I heard my door softly creak open, a dull light from the landing spilled through the crack and I took another sip off the whiskey bottle just to steel my resolve.

"People are going to start thinking you're weird, ya know," I was referring to the fact that he continually felt the need to enter my space without my express permission.

Must be nice to the type of person that did whatever they wanted without a single thought to the consequences.

The door clicked shut, filling the room with only the waning light from the setting sun, my body directly centered in the final strip spilling through the window. I didn't sit up, there was no need to. He would talk if he wished.

"She was right…" he spoke softly, tone even and unassuming.

"Who?"

"Your hair really doeslook like fire."

The thought of my sister made my heart clench in my chest – another sip of alcohol, a different kind of burn.

He drifted across the room like a specter, I barely heard the soft pats his feet made against the tatami mats and then he took up his usual perch on the arm chair in the corner of the room. I turned my head so I could watch him curiously. Boots were removed and tossed to the side beneath the window sill, cloak was flung over the chair, and sword was left to rest against its side. I was fast becoming used to this routine he had started, where he managed to take up my space with very little effort, and dare I say I even kind of enjoyed it. It was private, something no one else has had a chance to intrude on. It was almost odd really, that no one has tried. It must look obscene to an outside observer. Then again…I suppose the men downstairs knew Hiei much better than I did, maybe this was normal for him.

"Where are the others?" I asked just to fill the silence.

"Playing some ridiculous ningen card game," was his reply.

I grinned a little at this, took another pull off the whiskey bottle and then held it out at arm's length in an obvious invitation for Hiei to help himself.

He ignored my offer and instead threw a jab at me, "Do you plan to become a drunk?"

I pulled the bottle back in, invitation rescinded asshole, "You'd be drinking too if you went through what I did today."

He scoffed at me, "I doubt that."

If there wasn't still so much fine liquor left in this bottle I might have thrown it at his head.

"If you just came up here to insult me then get the fuck out."

"Hn," he groused.

I put a hand to my head and groaned loudly, what did he want from me? Couldn't a girl just have some time alone?

I rolled my neck to the side so I could just stare at him in the hopes I would make him uncomfortable enough to leave except I had underestimated his eyes, it would be impossible to ever win in a stare down with this guy. Bloody pools bored into me, dragging things up I'd rather not think about and before I knew what was happening I started to spill all that had occurred that afternoon.

By the time I had finished I'd managed to drink another quarter of the bottle and was fast on my way to becoming sloppily drunk.

Hiei had no words of sympathy for me, not that I had expected or wanted them and as I went to take another drink from the bottle it was abruptly snatched from my fingers. It had happened faster than a flash of lighting and he was back in the chair before I even fully comprehended what he'd done.

"That's enough, you're pathetic."

Angry now, I was off the bed and over to the chair much faster than I gave myself credit for. I wasn't wobbly on my feet or hiccupping, so I still had some potential to be menacing if I tried real hard. Normally when I was drinking I liked to be happy, I liked to dance and be obnoxious, pretty much the exact opposite of what I usually was. However, at times like this when I drank to take away my feelings, all it really did was replace it with something else. There were three different drunken Kasumis – happy go lucky, quiet and contemplative, and last as well as most dangerous, was pissed off drunken Kasumi.

Hiei had seen happy go lucky and quiet drunk a few weeks back, now was his chance to witness pissed off and drunk Kasumi. He really only had himself to blame, especially as he smirked at me smugly with his bandaged hand wrapped around the neck of my whiskey bottle. Which, may I add; he was holding mockingly against his knee.

I slammed my hands down on the arms of the chair and leaned over his body until I could get in his face, essentially caging him in. All he did was raise an eyebrow at me, unimpressed by my show of bravado.

"You're cruel and uncaring, has anyone ever told you that?" I whispered from between my teeth.

He smirked at me; leaning in even closer and making my intimidation ploy seem like mere child's play compared to the heated, deadly look in his eyes.

"Every fucking day…" he returned, the smirk growing to stretch his lips across his teeth.

He was so close, leaning up from the chair, I could feel his breath ghost across my face and smell that heady scent he always had surrounding him – firewood and pine and something so distinctly and perfectly male. It made my heart hammer against my chest and when he didn't back off it only got worse; I had no doubts that he could hear it.

He chuckled darkly, a flash of fang showing through his cocky lopsided grin, and then he settled back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest. He looked like a king sitting upon his throne, so fucking smug and condescending.

And why the hell did it feel so fucking hot in here all of a sudden? I could feel the sweat dripping down my back for kami's sake.

I was unfortunately frozen to the spot, still leaning over him but lacking the menacing like quality I'd tried to achieve before. I was surprised he was allowing me to enter his bubble, teeming with animosity as it was. It was his Jagan flaring to life that finally made me scamper away, not that it would save me. A couple of feet wouldn't be enough distance to get away from that thing.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly.

I had stilled a short distance from him and wrapped my arms around my middle. I was still only in my bloody sports bra and work pants and although I was covered, I still felt like I was baring myself to him. Not that it mattered, I thought bitterly, he'd already seen it all anyway.

"I want to know…what's going on inside," he tapped a forefinger to his temple.

"N-nothing," I stared hard at the floor, a heated flush rising up from my neck to stain my cheeks.

He laughed lowly again and I shivered as the familiar feeling of him reading my mind passed over me. He knew I hadn't told him the whole story earlier, that I was not quite drunk enough to spill every detail. He wanted to understand why I was such a mess; I could feel it, as he viewed the memory of this afternoon.

Outside my mind, Hiei had cocked his head in interest, staring at me with hooded eyes and so I closed mine to spare myself the sight. I was having a hard time keeping my inhibitions in check at this point.

"I see," he purred, "You killed children today."

It was like having a bucket full of ice water dumped over my head. My eyes shot open wide and my breath froze in my chest.

Seeing my reaction Hiei sneered at me, "You chose that line of work, you should be less empathetic."

I twitched, the truth in his words stabbing me like a knife through my chest. I walked to the window, the heat in the room finally too much for me to bear, and threw it open. The early winter air gusted through the bedroom, a shocking contrast against my heated skin. I sunk to the floor and rested my elbows against the sill so the wind could blow across my face and push my bangs out of my eyes.

"You're right," I whispered. I had no arguments against his claims. They were true, I had chosen to be a cop and I needed to man up and accept my responsibilities.

If I didn't figure out how to do it now I would only suffer further later down the road. I couldn't feel bad for every moron that decided crime was an easier route in life than living like every other law abiding citizen.

With the cold breath of winter filling my senses, we fell into silence. I had a lot to think about…

. . .

Later that night after I had forced everyone out of the apartment (Hiei had left on his own hours before hand) and stopped Botan's advances every time she attempted to heal me, going so far as to be stealthy about it, I was up on the landing going through the steps of a well learned tai chi routine.

My movements like water and extra fluid because of the alcohol I had consumed that evening, I fought through the pain in my shoulder so I could keep it loose. It should probably be in a sling, except I didn't have time to deal with such a nuisance. Besides, Kazu had bandaged it tight enough that nothing would come apart; I just wouldn't be able to shower for a couple of days unfortunately.

Footsteps coming up the stairs alerted me to another's presence, but it could be only one of two people – Keiko or Yusuke. As their head crested the top of the staircase I discovered it was in fact the 'detective', who paused to watch me with interest as I slowly and deliberately went through the rest of the steps. He clapped slowly afterwards, like I had just put on some kind of show for him.

"For being super slow, that looks pretty cool," he said.

I didn't think that warranted a comment from me so I retrieved the towel I had thrown aside on the window bench and wrapped it around my shoulders. When I righted myself it was to find Yusuke directly in front of me, making me jump back in surprise. How had he gotten over here so fast?

"God, Yusuke! Between you and Hiei, I don't know which of you will give me a heart attack first!" I exclaimed as I dramatically grasped at my chest over where my heart should be.

He laughed, "Sorry, I forget sometimes that you aren't really used to us yet."

I picked up a bottle of water and drank deeply from it, having decided that I should hydrate at least a little before I went to bed. I wasn't really the type to end up with a hangover, unless I drank too much, but you couldn't be too careful.

Replacing the cap I asked, "Where's Keiko?"

Yusuke took a seat on the bench, folding his arms behind his head casually, "Shower."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I had a feeling he wasn't just here because he was bored, "What do you want?"

He gave me a lopsided grin (could these men be any more attractive?) and then presented me with a conundrum I hadn't expected from him, "I spoke to Chronos, you know. She told me to ask you something."

Completely confused all I could do was stare at him incredulously, my eyebrows raised towards my hairline. What could the god have possibly told Yusuke and why was he only bringing it up now?

Was I missing something?

He sat up a little straighter, seeing my signs of distress, "Don't freak out, it didn't happen recently."

I let out the breath I hadn't known I was holding and then went to join him on the window seat, "Okay, so what do you want to ask?"

He slayed me with another overly attractive smile and said, "Train me."

Out of all the things I had expected him to say, that hadn't been one of them.

"What?" Was he mocking me, was this some kind of joke?

"Kas…I want you to train me."

I shot to my feet, intent on fleeing this situation but a strong hand clamped down on my wrist before I could make it more than two steps.

Yusuke's face now serious, his chocolate brown eyes dug deep into my grey, "What's inside you scares me. What's after you scares me and not for the reasons you think."

He let my wrist go, not that it mattered, he had me thoroughly rooted to the spot as he continued to speak, "Having you around…it's made things dangerous, for everyone involved."

I sucked in a breath and turned away from him, "I didn't intend for that to happen."

"I never said you did," he replied.

"I can't train you Yusuke," I said, "I have nothing to offer."

"That's not true; otherwise Chronos wouldn't have suggested it."

I pursed my lips, utterly frustrated with this whole conversation, "I'm not like you!"

"Really? Cause I started off pretty similar, just a dumb kid with bad luck."

I rounded on him, grabbing the scruff of his shirt with my left hand and pulling him up from the bench so we were face to face, "Bad luck? You don't even have a clue."

Stone faced he said, "I was hit by a car and I died. That's how I found out about all this."

I dropped his shirt like I'd been burned – he just kept surprising me. I would have never guessed that's how he came to know about the supernatural side of the world. How was that even possible? How was he standing before me now, clearly made of flesh and blood, when he claimed to have died?

I never had to ask to get him to finish the tale, "Koenma gave me a trial so I could come back, because my death was unexpected and also pointless."

He rose from his seat, brushed himself off and then smiled at me humorlessly, "You've been through a lot…that doesn't mean no one else has too."

He proceeded by me, slapping a hand to the shoulder that wasn't covered in bandages and said, "Think about the training, huh?"

Yusuke left, leaving me in even more conflicted turmoil than I had been when I woke up this morning. Today just hadn't been my day.

And now I had another decision to make…

If Chronos had suggested the training to him…no matter what he said or how much he asked, I would have to say no. I didn't trust the god…even as I felt it there…lying in wait. It had a plan of its own, a path that it had decided to follow that I was not privy to.

No…if it was something Chronos wished…it should be avoided.

That was the best choice…wasn't it?

. . .

A/N: So here is another chapter I kind of hate! UGH! Very little to no plot in this one, sorry guys! I know I've left everyone with a ton of questions and I promise they will be answered if you are willing to stick it out. Also, the scene where Kasumi is talking to a police transponder and the person says a 160 is in progress, I'm using the New York penal codes for crimes, a 160 is robbery. I couldn't find any from Tokyo, so I'm sorry if it isn't accurate! As always, thank you for reading and please shoot me a review if you have the time! I love to hear your comments! Till next time.