A/N: The response on last chapter was beyond amazing! It was one of the most viewed chapters and it had the most reviews out of all the chapters as well! I am so, so happy, you guys have no idea! Thank you all for the wonderful support and the constructive criticism and all the kindness I've had pouring in, it's amazing! Thank you, thank you!
Also, I have a bunch of fanart posted in my profile; I'd love it if you guys would take a look and give the artists some love! They worked real hard!
I wrote two versions of this chapter. I decided the first one was far too dark, so this one won out. I hope it doesn't suck too much!
Disclaimer: I do not own this fabulous show, Togashi does, damn it.
Warnings: Profanity, sexual themes, violence, blood/gore, adult themes, etc.
Things between Hiei and Kasumi are going to get more heated from here on out, just an fyi. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, so I'm warning you now. I hope no one stops reading, because I love you guys, but just know that I will understand if you do!
. . .
It was as if time had come to a sudden halt. No one moved…no one breathed. My heart was pounding in my chest. Any minute now I was sure it would explode. The tension in the room was palatable, so thick you could slice through it with a knife.
Hiei and Ren hadn't moved. They were stuck in a staring contest and Hiei's aura only grew more sinister by the second. I was stricken by the fact he was so angry. He'd been angry enough to use me as some kind of hostage. He'd attacked me before…but the manner he'd chosen this time?
What the fuck had he done to me?
I reached up a hand to clamp over my neck. The wound was still bleeding, the flow steady from the punctures he'd left. It didn't hurt, not like it should. If anything it burned…much the same as Hiei did himself.
I wanted to stand but didn't think my legs would support me. I was shaking…covered in a light sheen of sweat. My breath was released in soft pants. I felt like I was on fire. Everything was hot…hazy…what did any of this even mean?
Kazuma made a move towards me, his steps hesitant. In that second of hesitation Kurama was quick to snatch him back before he could advance on me further.
"Don't go near her. He's likely to rip you limb from limb," I heard Kurama say to him.
It was easy to tell which man he spoke of. Hiei's dark, ominous gaze had switched from Ren to Kazuma, just for a split second.
Now my friend stood conflicted, wanting to help me but afraid of what Hiei might do if he did. This did nothing but confuse me further. Why was he acting this way and what kind of threat did Kazuma pose? I had known the redhead for years…Hiei had no reason to be wary of him.
I struggled to my feet, my head spinning and once again feeling like my world was falling down around me. A drastic change had occurred here, a shift in the order of things. I pulled my hand away from my neck and stared down at my blood covered palm.
My mind raced, trying to think of an explanation and only coming up with one. What Hiei had done was pure animal instinct. It reminded me of a wolf. Wolves could be fearsome beasts, deathly with their teeth and claws. But they protected their pack at all costs. That possessive trait, the need to protect what was theirs, only heightened when mates were involved. Wolves mated for life…once a female had been chosen, that was the end for her.
And the end for anyone or anything that tried to interfere.
This realization settled deep in the pit of my stomach. It made my blood run cold and suddenly all I could hear was the rush of blood pumping through my veins. Each beat of my heart emphasized my panic. I needed to run. I needed to flee this situation as fast as I could.
I didn't care why Ren had broken into my apartment. I didn't care that he could possibly end up dead tonight. I didn't care about the eyes boring into me or the dark aura seeping off of Hiei's body.
All I cared about was the fact I'd just been brutally violated by someone I trusted.
Demons weren't like humans. They had different customs, different traits and different reactions to certain situations. Each of these also differed among the species. I should have known better than to get involved with them. I'd let Hiei take an interest in me. I hadn't put a stop to it. I should have nipped it in the bud the first time he'd kissed me. Now I feared I was in far too deep to ever swim back to the surface.
Hiei was about to drown me…end me and all I stood for.
I was poised to run, ready to abandon them all if only to escape him.
Except the sound of my name slipping from his lips stopped me dead, "Kasumi…"
I sucked in a sharp breath, his voice knocking me out of my state of hysteria. Instead, it was replaced with a righteous, unadulterated anger.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!" I screamed, my voice cracking with emotions I didn't understand.
No one knew what to do. Everyone else stood on the sidelines looking on like this was some kind of freak show. Perhaps it was, because I knew any minute now the world would crumble beneath my feet. All I could do was brace myself…and prepare for the fall.
Hiei didn't answer me. His back had stiffened, his fists clenched at his sides. He made no move to confront me or Ren. Not even when my ex-partner opened his stupid mouth again.
"She doesn't even know…" he breathed. "You're a fucking monster," he said, his voice shaking in his anger.
Hiei did not retaliate to his comments. I expected him to blow up; it was in his nature after all. Instead, he just stood stock still, as if frozen to the spot.
I swallowed hard, my eyes darting between the shocked faces of my friends. Both Yusuke and Kazuma looked as lost as I did…but Kurama…
…Kurama knew what was going on. He had the second he'd laid eyes on me.
"What is this?" I snapped at him.
Those green eyes, the color of darkness in a forest, narrowed. He pursed his lips and then sighed, "I'm afraid that is not my place."
"Not your place?" Ren said with a derisive laugh before I had another chance to speak.
He dragged a hand down his face and laughed again. His shoulders shook with the laughter, the sound filled with madness and pain. When he looked back up any words I might have spoken died in my throat.
His eyes were cold, the blue like ice, they flashed in the waning light of the setting sun. I'd never seen him look so furious.
"Allow me to inform her then," he said.
I heard Hiei growl low in his throat. His hand advanced toward the handle of my blade. I took a step forward, reaching out, to do what I did not know. I just knew that I needed answers…and if Ren was the only one willing to give them, I couldn't let him die.
Ren stood before Hiei unafraid, not worried for the state of his wellbeing. I prayed it wasn't from arrogance or false confidence, but because of actual skill. I'd always thought Ren was weaker than me…but now I wasn't so sure.
He really should have been an actor instead of a cop.
Ren squared his shoulders and directed his gaze to me, dismissing the fire demon completely.
"He's marked you Kasumi, against your will."
"Amano-san," Kurama hissed, stepping forward as if to shut him up.
"No, let him talk!" I yelled.
Kurama paused, seeing the resolve in my eyes. I would not waver. If he made a single move towards Ren again he would have to come through me.
It wasn't out of friendship or love for the other man. No…it was because I needed him. I needed him to tell me what I already knew. Ren had no regard for anyone else's feelings other than my own. He knew I hated the unknown…he would not hide this from me.
Ren smirked; pleased I had come to his defense. I would make sure that was short lived…as soon as he told me what I needed to hear.
"Keep talking," I snapped at him. I don't think I'd ever heard my voice sound so hollow…so unlike me.
"He's marked you as his property…all to keep me away from you," he said.
"Is that true?" I snarled at Hiei.
He wouldn't look at me. He'd turned his back on me at some point. His aura only grew, the heat making sweat drip down my face. He would snap any minute now…I could feel it.
"Kasumi-san, it isn't quite like that," Kurama tried to reason with me. I wouldn't hear any of it.
I marched up to the fire demon and grabbed him by his shoulder. Normally I wouldn't dare be so bold with him. He hated to be touched. Half of me prepared to get hit in the face; the other half was ready to fight him.
I tugged, trying to get him to turn. I smeared blood into his cloak, my hand soaked in it. I pulled again.
His aura was beginning to hurt. I wouldn't be able to stand beside him for long.
"Hiei…?"
He ripped my hand from his shoulder and whipped me around him. In that same blink of an eye, he pulled me forward. I slammed into him face first, his arms wrapping around my shoulders again to keep me caged in. One hand shot to the back of my head and he kept me pressed into his chest. He hadn't hurt me. The hold was more protective than anything else, except now I couldn't see. All I had wanted was a look at as face, a single look into his eyes. Hiei was an emotionless bastard…but that was only if you didn't know where to look.
His face could remain as hard as stone…but his eyes always betrayed him.
His actions left me once again feeling lost. I had no idea how to react to any of this. Should I be angry? Should I panic? Should I run?
"Let her go," I heard Ren snarl.
"What in the hell is going on here?!" Kazuma's patience had worn too thin; Yusuke's wouldn't be far behind.
"Your "friend" is psychotic, that's what," Ren replied, his tone vicious.
"Don't talk about him like that," I heard Yusuke snap.
And here I was crushed to Hiei's chest like some kind of rag doll he didn't want to stop playing with. His aura, as conflicted as it was, did nothing but cause me discomfort. I grew angrier by the second and the heightened emotions of the people around me weren't helping.
"Let go of me," I mumbled so only Hiei would hear.
"I can't," he said. His voice was still husky…full of lust and arousal and something else I avoided dwelling on.
It made something hot spike through my chest. My heart clenched and I tried to pull away from him. He did nothing but tighten his grip.
"If I let go…you will run from me," he said.
He was right. That left me to wonder when Hiei had gotten to know me so well. I couldn't tell if this pleased me…or scared me.
"What did you do to me?" I asked again.
"What I had to," was his reply.
He shifted and I found myself flung up into his arms. He strode passed Ren, who stared at him completely stunned. My ex-partner did not move to stop him, not even when Hiei breezed by the others and descended the stairs.
We passed Keiko, who was cowering beneath the staircase, listening in to what was happening above. She stared at us in shock as Hiei walked by, not even sparing a glance in her direction.
The fire demon carried me to the bathroom and kicked the door shut behind him. No one followed us, though I did hear loud shouting through the wood of the door. I assumed either Kazuma or Yusuke had laid into Ren. Good.
Hiei placed me on my feet, far gentler than I had expected. I didn't know what to do or say, but knew if I didn't he would remain silent. A huge part of me still wanted to run from this. It felt like a void was about to open and swallow me whole. I took a deep breath and then looked up into his eyes.
That breath caught as soon as I did.
His eyes pierced me, his gaze so heated and possessive it caused a flush to rise up over my chest.
I wished I wasn't wearing my jacket at that particular moment. I pulled at the collar, feeling the blood that had soaked through my shirt. It made the bite more visible and Hiei reached forward.
I stepped back, not so much out of fear but because I had no clue what his intentions were. He followed me, still reaching. His fingers swiped through the blood at my neck, smearing it further. He cocked his head, staring.
"What is going on?" I asked. My voice was loud against the bathroom tiles, though I had spoken softly, with trepidation.
Did I really want to know?
He looked away from me, drawing his hand back from my neck. His fingers rubbed together, feeling the slick silkiness of my blood against his skin. Once it had dried, he licked it from the tips of his fingers. I cringed at the display, grossed out by it.
"It was a means to an end," he said, after what felt like an eternity.
This did nothing to placate me. If anything, my rage only grew.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
His aura was still flickering around him, the colors a telling sign of his own confusion and doubt. Even he did not fully understand what he had done.
"He came here for you," he said.
That did not answer my question. I had no idea why Ren had shown up here tonight. He had been desperate enough to break into my apartment even. What I did know, is that Hiei was wrong. He hadn't come for me. I was certain he hadn't even known I was home.
I didn't voice this to the fire demon. I was far more interested in why he was so angry with the other man.
"Are you jealous?" I asked. The realization hit me suddenly, with undeniable clarity.
Hiei's eyes narrowed, his aura leaning more towards black instead of its regular gold.
"What reason would I have to be jealous of that imbecile?" his voice was dangerous, cold, and full of loathing. His tone spoke far more about his true feelings than the words themselves.
I pushed this aside for now, knowing he would never give me the truth. He'd rather bite off his own tongue than admit to any type of weakness.
I gestured to the bite on my neck, my own fingers running through my blood, "And this? What is it?"
I was not foolish enough to believe it was anything other than ominous. Kurama and Ren's reactions had solidified that belief. They both knew far more about demons than I did. I was left at a disadvantage. If Hiei refused to tell me…what would I do then? Going to Ren for answers would only incite Hiei's jealousy further. I would have to figure it out on my own, if that was the case.
He pursed his lips and I feared he would not reply. He took in a deep breath through his nose, his nostrils flaring. His jaw clenched and I watched as his aura seeped away. He was taking control of his body again. His brief foray into the darkness receding.
I sighed in relief when some of the heat coming off him abated.
Hiei hung his head, a hand coming up to thread through his fringe. He released a strangled sigh.
"That…is a moment of weakness…" he said.
I'd never seen him like this. He seemed so unsure of himself. He didn't know how to proceed, his voice lodged in his throat the way it was. He still wouldn't look at me and that – out of anything – worried me the most.
I opened my mouth to speak, but his next words cut me off abruptly, causing me to choke.
"What…are your…feelings towards me?" he asked. The words were spoken with care. His speech controlled and his tone even. He gave nothing away.
I sputtered for a moment, caught off guard. Why did he want to know? What did it matter?
"I-I uh…" how did I answer that? What kind of question was that even?
To stall I wandered over to the bath and took a seat on its edge. I buried my face in my hands, my elbows rested against my knees. I swallowed hard, my throat dry.
I didn't know what to say to him. I could tell him a million different things. My feelings for him fluctuated almost daily between liking him and hating him. I ignored the fact that my heart raced every time he entered the room. And I pretended that I didn't feel the rush hearing his voice gave me. I denied that his presence was both calming and unnerving for me. Hiei confused me; it was as simple as that. He made my mind dance with hundreds of questions that had no answers. He made me wish life was simpler, that things were different.
If Hiei wasn't a demon…how would I feel then?
He was still waiting for an answer, so I gave him the truth, "I-I don't know."
"Hn," he grunted. His tone was still blank…I was unable to tell how he felt by my answer.
"The bite will fade," he said and my head snapped up to stare at him.
His face had returned to the same cold impassivity he normally wore. His eyes were shuttered. He refused to give me even the slightest hint at what he was thinking.
"Why did Ren freak out the way he did then?" I asked. I still wanted an explanation. Whatever this was, it meant something. It had to.
"By now I'm sure you've realized what my intentions towards you are," he said.
No, I hadn't actually and I voiced this before he could say another word, "Is that a joke? Of course I haven't!"
Something flashed across his eyes at my words, but it was gone just as fast as it had come. He stepped away from the door and walked towards me until we were only a few inches apart. He crouched, so we were eye to eye. His eyes searched me again, like they had at the graveyard. I once again wondered what it was he sought.
He sighed again, "You really don't know?"
I grew angry again. I had no idea why. What was I supposed to know? What were a few kisses supposed to tell me? I'd fucked men I'd had no feelings for and that was as close to a person as you could get. So what the hell was he getting at?
"Obviously not," I snapped.
"Demons are not like humans, Kasumi."
"I know that!" What did that have to do with anything?
He growled and dragged a hand through his spikey hair again. I was beginning to frustrate him. I could not have cared less.
"Was what Ren said true? Did you mark me as your "property?!" I spat, angry at the very idea.
I belonged to no one but myself. If this bite on my neck marked me as his, I would scour it from my skin faster than he could blink.
"It is…not that simple…"
"Not that simple?!" I snarled, "Then it's true?!"
He shot to his feet, his face morphing into a mask of fury, "No!"
I shot to my own feet in retaliation and also so he wouldn't have any height on me. All I wanted to do was start a fight with him. I didn't know how else to release this aggression I was feeling. I felt betrayed…used.
"You used me!" I shouted, "You used me to get to him!"
Guilt flashed through the red. I had him.
"Is this some sick demonic thing, or just something you do to the women you like?!"
He grabbed me, so angry I thought he might hit him. Instead he just shook me and snarled, "You're the only woman I've ever marked, baka onna!"
Was that supposed to make me feel better? Because it didn't, not by a long shot.
"So what, do you think I care?"
He flinched at my words. That made me curious. What had I said? What did this mean to him, exactly?
"What do you want from me Hiei?" I had asked him this question before. He had never given me a straight answer. This time, I refused to let him leave until he did.
His grip on my upper arms tightened imperceptibly. His hands were hot, his anger making him lose control again. I'd seen this side of him more times than I could count…but something about his anger was different. This time was different. There were underlying emotions he refused to let surface. This irritated me to no end.
He refused to answer so I repeated myself, enunciating each word to get my point across, "What do you want?"
Something snapped inside him, his eyes widened and then narrowed, "You," he snarled just before jerking me forward.
He slammed his lips down onto mine then. Each kiss I had received from Hiei to date was different from the last. This one was rushed, hungry…dangerous. Our teeth clacked together and he forced his tongue between my lips before I could do as much as protest. It was forceful and full of emotions that should never be allowed out in the light of day. There was pain, need, anger, and desperation in the set of his lips.
It was at this moment that I knew…I just knew. Hiei would be the end all for me. I could ride it out and see where it took me, or I could fight against it. Neither option sounded good to me.
I couldn't fall in love. Not now. Not ever.
Not when I would be dead by next year.
This was such a cruel twist of fate that my heart clenched in my chest…and I began to cry.
It wasn't like the other night when I had only allowed a tear to slip. Oh no. Fat droplets rolled down my cheeks, slipping between our lips so perfectly molded together. I could taste the saltiness and it only made me cry harder. I began to sob and Hiei's lips stilled against mine.
He pulled away, eyes wide and his breath caught in his throat on a strangled gasp.
He was about to run. I could see it in his eyes.
He knew he was the cause of this…and he was too much of a coward to face it. I should have known.
"Go," I choked out, "Get out of my sight."
But he didn't. His entire body was poised to dash out the door, but yet he remained.
He cocked his head, staring at the streaks running down my face. It had been so long since I'd cried. The release felt magnificent even as it broke me. I sobbed harder; they wracked my body, making my shoulders shake. I sunk to the floor.
He couldn't look away, watching in horrified fascination as my sobbing became louder and louder. I was ashamed of myself. But I couldn't stop. Every time I tried, it only got worse.
My voice was hoarse, so full of emotion that each pained sound that left my mouth cracked and broke. I felt like shattered glass, just pieces left to lie on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
This had never happened before. I had never felt this way. Not once. I'd always believed I had a heart of stone and I kept barbed wire wrapped tightly around it. I shunned everyone. I kept no one close.
I'd made the mistake once…and I never made it again.
Look where it got me, after all. Hideki wasn't even human. My sister had abandoned me. My friends had done nothing but lie and keep things hidden from me.
Where did that leave me?
My entire life was a fucking lie. And now this…how could I have let this happen?
I cried so hard I thought I would die. I heard someone pounding on the bathroom door. Hiei hissed at them to leave. Why was he even still here?
Did this give him some kind of amusement? I wouldn't doubt if it did.
Poor little, stupid, human Kasumi…crying like a child. I was pathetic. How could someone like him want someone like me? It was inconceivable and he would surely change his mind now.
"Why?" I cried, "Why did you do this to me?"
He had no idea what I was talking about. He must think I'd gone insane.
He crouched before me again, his hands reaching out to cup my cheeks. He rubbed at the tear stains he encountered there. His thumbs brushed away the wetness until the tears stopped completely. I had nothing left in me to give and so the crying came to an end. I was left panting and empty, embarrassed by my actions.
I saw neither sympathy nor pity in his eyes. He just watched me and let me catch my breath. I hadn't the first clue where we stood or what any of this meant. I just wanted things to be okay.
And in order for that to happen, he still had some explaining to do. And as my crying died, I realized we were going to end up in another fight. I had to tell the truth about Ren. If I didn't tell Hiei now and he found out later…there was a good chance he would hate me for it.
"Hiei…" I started, uncertain if I should continue.
What if he never found out? What if I just took Ren with me and didn't say anything? No harm, no foul right?
I wished I could do that. I wished I was the type of person that could lie to someone they cared about. But I wasn't.
I steeled myself, resolve washing over me and said, "Ren is coming with me."
Hiei stilled. His thumbs stopped their movements against my cheeks. For a moment I thought he hadn't heard me…but I knew better.
"What?" he hissed.
"I'm taking him with me…to Takahiro's."
He was on his feet faster than I could blink. The door slammed open upon his departure. I was lucky he hadn't ripped it from its hinges.
"Hiei…hey man, where are you going?!" I heard Yusuke call after him. He must have fled through one of the windows.
My hand reached up and touched the bite mark again. It had stopped bleeding. I didn't know when.
I got up. I stood in front of the mirror, my index finger running across the teeth marks. I memorized the curve of Hiei's jaw, noticed that his fangs had left larger holes than the rest. I saw Yusuke appear behind me in the glass. He was frowning, his body language uncertain.
"You okay?" he asked.
I could see Kazuma hovering in the doorway from the corner of my eye.
I couldn't tell them I was okay…because I wasn't.
"Get my first aid kit, Yusuke?"
I don't know when Urameshi Yusuke became as close as Kazuma. Perhaps it was the many hours I'd spent training with his stubborn ass. Maybe it was earlier than that and I hadn't realized it.
He smiled softly at my image in the mirror and then went to retrieve my kit just as I'd asked.
I shed my coat and blood stained shirt. Neither of the boys batted an eye. They were far too used to seeing me like this. I'd consider it kind of sad, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
I cleansed the blood from my skin, the bite much clearer now. It stood out morbidly against my pale flesh…but it was beautiful in its own way, much like Hiei's handprint.
For just a second…I wished it was permanent.
I placed a piece of sterile gauze over the wound and taped around it to keep it in place. Yusuke returned my kit to the top shelf of the bathroom closet.
"Kas…" I turned to look at my redheaded friend. He was nervous. Why?
"Are you and Hiei…ya know…together?"
Yusuke looked just as interested in my answer as Kazuma did. Unfortunately for them, I did not plan on spreading my private life around. I knew Hiei would appreciate it even less if I did.
"That's none of your business," I said.
He frowned and folded his arms across his chest, "It is if I show up to shit like this."
"So stay out of my apartment," I snapped. I hadn't meant it. Kazuma would always be welcome here. I saw hurt flash across his eyes and regretted it.
"Sorry," I mumbled, rubbing at the back of my neck.
"Seriously Kasumi, what's going on?"
"Ren didn't tell you?" I asked.
"Ha! Right, that bastard stormed out as soon as we tried," Yusuke said.
"He's gone?" I asked.
"Yeah and before I could knock his teeth in too," Yusuke growled.
I rolled my eyes, "Why would you do that?"
"Well, because I'm on Hiei's side!"
"You don't even know what happened Urameshi! It was probably the runts fault!"
"Dude, are you serious right now? You're taking that moron's side?"
This dissolved into an argument between the two men. I took the chance to sneak out of the bathroom. Of course, I regretted it as soon as I stepped out the door. Sitting on the couch was Kurama and Keiko. Kurama stood as soon as he saw me and gestured towards one of the arm chairs.
"Take a seat, Kasumi-san. There are things that should be discussed."
I didn't like this idea, "Maybe later," I said and attempted to retreat to my bedroom.
"Morimoto Kasumi, don't even think about it!" said Keiko, her voice both parts angry parent and concerned friend.
Angry now, I whirled around to glare at Kurama and Keiko, "Oh, now you want to talk?!"
"I'm afraid I do not have much choice, Kasumi-san," he replied. He looked unamused at my show of bravado, but I could see something darker burning in his eyes.
A cold chill traveled through me at that look. I didn't know much about Kurama, he was the only member of the group I hadn't gotten closer to. I was fine with that distance, because something told me he was far more fearsome than even Hiei.
Wary, I walked to the arm chair and took the seat he'd offered. I sat there, uncomfortable, waiting for him to start talking. I sure as hell wasn't going to start the conversation. My trepidation only grew when Kazuma and Yusuke came barreling out of the bathroom. They both scrambled to take a seat, fighting over who would get the other armchair.
Keiko ended up pulling Yusuke down onto the couch beside her and Kazuma got the armchair. Kurama released a long suffering sigh. He'd obviously been putting up with this type of behavior from them for years. It must be weighing on him by now.
Kurama cleared his throat, casting a cold glance at Yusuke and Kazuma so they'd stay quiet. He turned to me, certain he had everyone's attention, "What went on here tonight?"
"You tell me," I said.
Because I still wasn't sure, all I knew was that I had teeth marks in my throat and two men pissed off at me.
"What is Hiei to you?" he asked. The question was so sudden that it caused me to gasp.
This was twice in less than an hour someone had asked me that. If had been unable to answer the person this mattered to the most, I sure as hell didn't have one for Kurama. This was private…I didn't want to discuss this with them, or anyone for that matter.
I shook my head. I couldn't look him in the eye any longer. That green held so much knowledge. He knew things I wasn't willing to come to terms with just yet. It wasn't fair of him to put me on the spot like this, not in front of everyone.
It's not like Hiei and I were a couple. This was ridiculous.
"You'd tell us right…if you guys were, ya know, together?" said Kazuma. Once again, the way he phrased it irked me. He mumbled the word together, like it was something dirty.
"What would you say if we were?" I asked. I wanted to know. We weren't together…but what would my friends think?
Kazuma's face screwed up, at first in surprise but then it twisted into disgust. Finally, it settled on bewilderment.
"I'd want to know why," he said.
"Tell me, are you disgusted because it's Hiei or would it matter?"
"I-I never said I thought it was disgusting!" he shouted.
"No, but it was written all over your face," I snarled.
His eyes narrowed. I was making him angry. Kazuma was like an open book, he was so easy to read.
"Yeah…okay," he said. "I do find that kind of gross."
I was surprised he'd been honest and the shock must have shown on my face, because he sighed.
"I'm sorry…I just…its Hiei…"
"Enough, Kuwabara-kun, that isn't important right now," said Kurama with a wave of his hand.
The redhead pinched the bridge of his nose, his shoulders slumping. This wasn't the Kurama I was used to – the refined gentlemen who openly teased his friends. This was a tired old man in front of me, worn out by today's events.
"Kasumi-san, allow me to offer some advice," he said, "Read the books you were given for your birthday."
Ah yes, the books on demons and spirit energy. I had skimmed them but I hadn't actually sat down to read them in depth. There must be something in one of them that explained things. If not, I doubt Kurama would have suggested it.
"Okay," I nodded.
"I think it best you draw your own conclusions," he said, "I'm assuming Hiei explained nothing."
"You're acting like this is really serious…" I said, my voice wavering.
"I'm sorry I can't tell you more. But I think it best I go searching for him," he said.
He was worried about Hiei. And suddenly so was I. I only had two more days before the end of the deadline. If I didn't see Hiei before than I feared that he would never speak to me again.
Even thinking it made my gut twist. When had that snarky bastard become so important to me? When the hell had he snuck amongst the ranks of people I trusted? Then he'd gone and done this…
Now I was regretting feeling that way at all.
"Kasumi-chan?"
I gave Keiko a broken smile and rose from my chair. Kurama bid the room goodnight and left in search of Hiei. Yusuke got up to join him, giving Keiko a kiss on his way out. Kazuma left as well, promising to return later that night. That left Keiko and me alone in the apartment.
I was prepared for her to start grilling me, asking questions I had no desire to answer. Instead, she brewed a pot of coffee and brought me a mug. By then I was upstairs, sitting in the little armchair nestled in the corner of my room.
"You aren't going to sleep tonight," she said, as she handed me the mug.
I cradled the warmth between my hands and smiled at her sadly, "No, I won't."
I went back to staring out the window and Keiko patted me on the shoulder before leaving me in peace.
I watched the sun set, letting the coffee grow cold.
And so day number one came to a close.
. . .
I showed up at the precinct early the next morning with dark circles under my eyes, dressed in rumpled clothing. I had a tall cup of coffee from my favorite café. I was sitting on a bench outside of my captain's office, waiting for him to get out of a meeting.
I watched the hands on the wall clock tick, trying to keep my mind off of things. It did little good.
"Officer Morimoto?"
I looked up to see the Captain waiting for me. I scrambled up from my seat, almost spilling my drink all over myself. I tried to calm the fuck down before entering his office. I'm sure he would think so highly of me for acting like a nervous wreck.
"Take a seat," he said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.
I sunk down into. It was solid wood and uncomfortable, but I didn't plan on being here long. I just needed to make sure Takahiro had spoken to the commissioner. Once that was done I could leave.
"I received a call from the Police Commissioner yesterday about you, I'm sure you know why."
"Yes sir."
"You are to hand in your badge today. Your job will be waiting for you in six months."
That was more than I could have hoped for. I would have to leave Keiko with a chunk of my savings to help pay the rent for the next six months, but that was okay.
"Thank you sir," I said.
I handed him my badge, which I saw him slip into a drawer in his desk. He dismissed me soon after. As soon as I was about to walk out the door, he stopped me, "Morimoto?"
"Yes sir?"
"You're a good cop. I hope you return to us quickly," he said.
I suppressed a blush, pleased that to hear something like that coming from a man like him.
"Thank you sir," I repeated and then hurried out the door.
I walked home in a bit of a haze, contemplating on whether I wanted to pick up booze before returning home or not. The prospect of getting drunk won out in the end. I came home with a bottle of whiskey and a six pack. Counting on what I read in those books over the course of the day would determine how drunk I wanted to get.
I'd decided to read them in their entirety, or at least the one on demons. It made me wish I had listened to my grandfather more often than I had. He'd had a plethora of tales about demons, but I'd swept them all under the rug as the ravings of an old man. Old men seemed to be especially superstitious after all, so I hadn't listened to his stories.
I arrived at the apartment, empty at this time of day. Keiko and Kazuma were in class. I had no idea where Yusuke was, I just knew that he wasn't here. I envied the fact that my friends were still able to live their daily lives, everything was normal for them. Just the day in the life of a demon hunter, this was old school for them.
Speaking of school, I'd gone to the college just before going to meet with my captain. I'd been forced to defer for a year, as Takahiro had no standing with the university. That was alright. I would just have to retake the entrance exams. I passed them once, I could do it again.
That was if I lived long enough to give it a go, anyway.
I carried my purchases up to my room, returning to the kitchen for a glass of ice. When I settled in my bed, I poured the whiskey, forgoing the beer.
The first sip burned. But every one after that only warmed me. Perhaps Hiei was right…I was becoming a drunk. I'd tried so hard to stay away from these vices, the kind that dragged you down with them. I'd given up smoking (for the most part); I'd stopped bringing random men home to bed with me. But the drinking…that had been a constant. It was just more frequent now.
I poured over the book for hours. I read every passage, even as I became increasingly drunk. It was some time around my third or fourth drink that I discovered the chapter I wanted. It held information on marking…as well as mating. That thought caused me to cringe, what a crude word, mating. Couldn't they just call it marriage? Were they really that much different from humans?
As I read further, I felt my heart freeze in my chest and then start pumping again in a wild rhythm.
Marking – the process of biting a chosen one. It is one of the most intimate actions a demon will ever make.
Marks are given for many reasons, but the most common is mating. The mark signifies a claim and this is empowered by the bite itself. A tiny piece of energy is transferred, leaving a signature within the person's body. This signature is noticeable to other demons and humans who are spiritually aware.
The mark is not permanent unless the cycle is completed.
If left uncompleted, it will fade according to a set amount of time. That time is judged by the demon that inflicted the bite's energy. The stronger their energy, the longer it will last.
That was just great…I knew Hiei was strong…how strong I wasn't so sure. It seemed that the bite would be sticking around for a while.
I skipped across some of the other information, mostly just explaining the semantics of it all. I was looking for what completed the cycle. When I found it, I wished I hadn't looked at all.
"Oh gross," I whispered to myself.
To complete the process, the person who was first bitten must bite the other in return. It brought up an image of me sinking my teeth into Hiei's neck. The image was far less sexy than him doing it to me. I didn't have fangs…did that mean humans were exempt?
I could only hope.
I slammed the book shut, not really caring to read any more. One line had stuck out from the rest though, making my mind run in circles – one of the most intimate acts…
Was that for real?
When I thought back on how it had made me feel…I would have to say it was true. For a brief moment, Hiei's consciousness had filled my head. A spike of arousal, so pure and fierce had flooded through me. It had left me burning, on the verge of begging for more even while my brain had begun to shut down from the stress.
I'd never felt anything like that before in my life. And after the fact had been just as bad, I'd broken down like that little girl all those years ago who'd lost her parents. Hiei must have been disgusted.
I groaned, flopping over onto my back and staring up at my ceiling.
It was almost a blessing I'd be gone for three months. Maybe this would die down and we could just forget about it. Surely the mark wouldn't last longer than that anyway? As long as there were no reminders, I never had to bring it up again.
I sat up only to refill my glass. I balanced the cup against my stomach with one hand, watching it rise and fall with each breath.
I drank alone for hours and squandered my second day, but I didn't give a damn. I just wanted to be oblivious – even for a little while.
I remained silent when Keiko knocked on my door, pretending I had gone to bed early. I heard her whisper something to Kazuma from beyond the wood, but didn't catch what it was. I waited to hear their footsteps as they left and then rose from my bed.
I tore open the drawer in the bedside table and pulled out a hand mirror. I ripped the bandage from my neck and angled the mirror so I could get a better look. It didn't look nearly as awful as it had yesterday. It still stuck out like a sore thumb, however.
I poked at it, expecting it to hurt. It was warm to the touch and not painful in the slightest. It still made my lip curl. What the fuck did he think he was doing?
My drunken brain couldn't comprehend the stupidity of the situation. I had been bitten but a fucking jealous demon. Who the hell else could say something like that? I had Hiei's fucking teeth marks in my goddamned neck!
I felt violated! The entire scenario was outrageous! It was so ridiculous, so beyond abnormal that I was beginning to wonder if I wasn't stuck in a fucking dream. Perhaps I was locked up in some looney bin somewhere, trapped inside my mind with all its insanity filled thoughts.
Because even that sounded like a better option than what I was living now!
I flopped back down on my bed and threw the book across the room. It hit the wall with a resounding smack and then fell to the floor.
I should probably read the rest. I was sure skimming through it wasn't good enough, but I didn't care. I wanted to hear it from Hiei. I wanted to know what had brought him to do this to me. What did it mean to him? Was it truly intimate? Did Hiei biting me mean I was the one he'd chosen?
I sneered at that and my thoughts turned self-deprecating. Of course I wasn't. It was as he'd said – I was a means to an end. He didn't want Ren around, so the best way to get rid of him was to use me.
I made Hiei feel desire…but desire for what? Did he want to sleep with me? Did he desire my body or my heart?
It was all so confusing. This was the last thing I needed right now, couldn't they see that?!
I don't know when I fell asleep, so lost amongst my musings. I didn't wake again until the moon was high in the sky. I'd woken because a cold draft coming from my bedroom door had caused me to shiver. It was seeping through the crack by the floor.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, put on my glasses and then wandered out onto the landing. It was even colder out here. What the hell?
I looked down over the railing and saw that the window to the fire escape was open. The cop in me reacted faster than my body. I hauled ass back to my room, keeping my steps as quiet as possible. I pulled my handgun out from beneath my pillow, made sure it was loaded, and then creeped down the stairs. I didn't wake anyone…if someone had broken in the last thing I wanted was someone caught in the crossfire.
I reached the bottom of the stairs and stopped for a moment. There was a trail of clothes leading from the window…clothes and something else. The smell hit me like an atom bomb. Metallic and thick – it was blood, those were tiny pools of blood on my floor.
I could hear the shower running in the bathroom, the door open just a crack. It let a little strip of light spill out. I wandered closer, my steps silent, and picked up the first piece of clothing I came across. It was a shirt, dark blue in color, soaked in blood. The sleeves had been ripped off. I knew who it belonged to instantly.
My gun clattered to the floor and I burst through the bathroom door. I didn't think about the fight we were in. I didn't think about what he'd do to me or the bite marks embedded in my neck. The only image my mind could conjure was one of Hiei lying dead on my bathroom floor.
I meant to rush to him, my eyes darting around the bathroom, trying to see through the steam. I wiped my glasses with the sleeves of my shirt several times; just to make sure what I was seeing was real. There were two bloody handprints dripping down my sink, several more smeared across the tiled walls. Most of it coated the floor, so red it was black.
And then I spotted him. He had his arms above him, folded against the wall, his head hung in between them. The shower water was cascading down his back. His normally spikey hair was flattened almost to his shoulders thanks to the weight of the water. His eyes were trained on me, the red just as dark as the blood being sucked down the drain. His gaze was heated…but distant. He released his breaths in pants, his jaw tight…it was obvious he was in pain.
Wildly, I scanned my eyes down his body. I didn't pay any attention to his nudity, I was far more intent on finding the source of all this blood.
I didn't know how it wasn't the first thing I spotted. There, in Hiei's side was a gaping wound. It spanned across his entire left side, from back to stomach. I could see muscle and a hint of bone, it was still pouring out blood.
I didn't even think. I ran to him and fell to my knees at his side. My hands came up as if to hold him together, but I regained my senses the second he growled at me. It came out deep, a rumble like thunder – a warning I did not heed.
A brilliant rage built in my chest…someone had hurt him, I had to do something!
I retrieved my medical kit, knowing I had everything I needed in there to suture him back up. The wound was clean and not jagged, so I shouldn't have too many issues. That was, if he let me touch him anyway.
I grabbed several clean towels and my little stool. I returned to his side and turned off the shower water with a jerk. He was still staring at me…he hadn't said a word.
"Who did this to you?!" I barked, my voice echoed against the tiles.
His eyes narrowed. He slapped my hands away when I reached forward with one of the towels to try and dry him off.
"Leave," he snarled from between his teeth.
"Do you want to bleed to death?" I snapped.
I started to pat the area dry and he growled at me again. It was unfortunate for him that I was used to this kind of treatment. I was unafraid. I'd be damned if I let him die just because he's a stubborn prick.
"Why didn't you come to me right away?" I asked, bending down to start digging things out of the med kit.
"Why does it matter, you made your choice," he said.
I had no idea what I had "chosen" and at this particular moment I didn't care. I needed to fix him. He was already starting to look pale from the blood loss.
If I was being honest, I was surprised he was here at all. Why had he returned here so badly injured? Why hadn't he gone to Yukina or even Kurama?
Though I was curious as to his reasoning, I pushed the questions aside. There would be plenty of time for that later, after I'd sewn him up.
I looked back up to those darkened eyes, trying so valiantly to hide his pain, "Will you let me help you?" I asked.
"I can take care of myself," he ground out.
I released a withering sigh, "I know you can. Let me help you anyway."
He didn't give me a definite answer, but when I started to clean the wound again he gritted his jaw and bared it. He was tense beyond measure. I was shocked he hadn't torn my head straight from my neck.
I settled onto the stool, studiously continuing to ignore his nakedness. I prepared a suture kit, found the biggest needle I had and the strongest stitches. I didn't give him time to protest or run.
The first stitch caused him to suck in a sharp breath through his nose. He rested his forehead against the cold tile and his fists clenched against the wall. Every one after that he ignored with little else than a grimace.
It took over twenty stitches and the better portion of an hour before I was finished. I was soaking wet, not only from the shower water but his blood. It ran down my arms and covered my hands. I'd made the stitching as tight as I could.
I left him briefly to wash my hands and was mesmerized by the pink tinted water as it swirled down the drain. For once it was not my blood being washed from my palms. It was almost worse…to have someone else's. That injury had been so awful…who could have done that to him?
I turned back to him as I dried my hands to find him finishing up himself. He'd taped great pieces of gauze around where I had stitched, from there he settled on my stool. He took up a roll of bandages. With deft fingers, he wrapped them around his midsection and up over one shoulder.
I'd wandered closer, standing behind him now. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him. Instead, I let spill that same question that had been burning in the back of my throat since I'd laid eyes on him.
"Who did this to you?"
He tossed the bandages back into my kit and folded his arms across his thighs. He was still tense, as stiff as a board.
No longer able to control myself, I reached out and placed a hand against his shoulder, "Hiei..?"
He snatched my hand away from him, his grip bruising and growled, "Don't fucking touch me."
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to restrain myself from blowing up. From between my teeth I asked, "Why did you come here, if not for my help?"
He was silent for a long while, when he did finally speak I almost missed it, "I…don't know."
"Whatever," I snapped, ripping my hand out of his grasp. I turned to leave.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To clean up the mess you made!" I said, "You're lucky you're a demon. That would have killed a normal person."
And I marched towards the door, intent to do just as I said. I should have known he wouldn't let me. It was par for the course for him, to prevent me from doing something he didn't want.
As soon as I went to open the door a palm shot forward and slammed it shut again. He caged me in with both arms, his palms flat against the wood. He didn't touch me, but I could feel his body heat through my clothing. I wore only a pair of panties and a long sleeved shirt. Considering the fact Hiei also happened to be naked and I was in a right pickle.
I didn't turn to him, afraid he'd see the blush across my face. Now was not the time to act like a bashful school girl. We were not okay…Hiei was not okay.
"You'll tear your stitches…" I mumbled.
One hand left the door. I felt hot fingers brush across the back of my neck. He moved my hair to the side, out of his way. Those same fingers ran down the side of my throat, leaving hot, tingling trails in their wake. When they reached the bite, something spiked through me that made my heart start to pound.
I was starting to think I was a real glutton for punishment. I should put a stop to this. I should tell him I wasn't interested. I should scream and carry on and make a general ruckus. I should tell him everything I felt and then some. I should treat him the same way he's treated me. Like I am some kind of plaything he can fuck with anytime the mood arises.
Should-a, could-a, would-a…as they say.
I did none of it. I acted completely unlike myself and let him poke and prod at me. What was up with the two of us and this fucking bathroom anyway? It must be cursed.
The fingers were replaced with lips, his other arm dropping to wrap around my waist. He dragged me backwards, until I was flush against him. So much for him not wanting to be touched, I thought.
He left a trail of heated kisses down my neck, saliva making my skin damp. I was beginning to think the blood loss he'd suffered was making him act crazy.
"You know…" I whispered, "I never took you for the touchy feely type."
"I'm not," he mumbled against my skin, "Only with you…"
I didn't want to think about the reasons my heart clenched at his words. Besides, I had other things to worry about, such as his hand snaking up the inside of my shirt. He splayed a hot palm against my stomach, his face still buried in my neck.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked. Not that I wasn't enjoying it. It was a real nice change from his previous aggressiveness.
Except now I felt like a piece of meat he wanted to devour.
"You drive me crazy," he said.
What did I say to that – I'm sorry? Because I wasn't, how could I be?
"You make me want things I shouldn't…" he continued, "When all I really want is to hate you."
But he couldn't. That much was clear. I was in the same situation after all. I wished with all my might I could hate him…but I didn't. Not even when he hurt me, not even when he drove me to the brink of insanity. I wouldn't have put up with it with any other man, what the fuck made him so special?
That was when I knew…and it hit me like a sack of bricks to the face.
I wanted Hiei…not just for a single night, not just because I found him attractive. I must be truly fucked in the head to even contemplate liking this man's personality…but I did.
It was completely different than what I had ever felt for anyone else. Ren…Hideki…any of the conquests I'd etched into my bedpost – none of them were the same.
Hiei took me somewhere the others hadn't. It was like our own little world situated amongst all the craziness.
When had I let him worm his way in that far?
The word love skipped across my brain again and I choked. His head lifted from neck, sensing when I began to panic. Afraid I would end up in hysterics again, I twisted out of his hold. He let me go without a struggle.
I fought with the doorknob, desperate to get out of this tiny room and away from him. Except my hands wouldn't cooperate, they just fumbled and slipped, slick with sweat. It was hot, so fucking hot, I thought I would die.
"I hopeyou do not end up regretting your choice," he said. His words caused me to freeze. They had been dripping with venom, concealed anger hidden deep in his tone.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, no longer struggling with the door.
"You have chosen…him over me."
That was the final straw. It had come full circle hadn't it? We'd come back to Ren. It was time to put this straight.
I whirled around, fire burning in my veins and pain exploding from my soul, "Do you know what I have chosen?" I said.
I kept my face cold…hard as stone. My voice sounded much the same, "I have chosen me."
With that I wrenched the door open, but I paused in the doorway to release one last jab.
"You're fighting over a dead woman. Don't you realize that?"
I didn't want to know his answer. I couldn't even turn to look him in the eye.
With calm steps I walked back to my bedroom, shut and locked the door. I fell to the floor in front of it, a crumpled heap of a girl. I was a mess. My entire like was an utter devastated, disgusting, mess.
And so…day two came to its end…
Day three couldn't end soon enough. For the first time in my life, I looked forward to breaking down my body. For three whole months my only concern would be becoming stronger. I had no time for boys or jealous fire demons.
The only thing I had time for…was coming up with a plan where I didn't die in the end.
Maybe then…when it was all said and done…
Maybe then…I could think of him.
Until that happened…all I could do was dream.
. . .
A/N: Yes so…about this…uh, what can I say? It was a heated, emotional, roll coaster of a chapter. I really wanted to do the last one justice, but I think I failed. I feel like Hiei was a bit OOC in this…but that has more to do with him marking her than anything else. That still hasn't been fully explained. Kasumi learned enough to placate her, but not enough to fully understand her situation, the poor girl. Anyway, let me know what you thought, even if you hated it. Thanks for reading!