A/N: I'm really nervous about this one guys. Go easy on me!
Back to Kasumi's POV this chapter. It skips back in time a bit, by about a month, but it will catch up before the end of the chapter. This one is pretty heated, so just warning you guys ahead of time! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, you're all so wonderful!
And to those that have been complaining, please feel free to go look for a different fic to read! :D Kasumi is human and a fucked up one at that, with many conflicting, confusing emotions, give her time. And to the reviewer that bitched and moaned about there being no Keiko/Yusuke…it's because this fic isn't about them. If you want that, go check out the Yu/Kei category :) Thanks!
Disclaimer: I am still not the owner of YYH!
Warnings: Same as usual. Profanity, violence, blood/gore, drama, sexual themes, adult themes, etc.
. . .
Drip…drip…drip…
The faucet in the bathroom seemed loud in the stillness. My room was dark…cold…devoid of life. The only things that filled the void were the sounds of my breath…and that infernal dripping.
I'd been tempted to rip the damned thing clean off the sink. But I didn't think Takahiro would appreciate that much. I'd caused enough destruction in his "lair" already.
I lay awake through the night. I hadn't slept in days. Every time I closed my eyes…she was there.
She knew what I was planning, could sense it in every piece of her being. She gave me not a moment's reprieve. If I didn't stay awake…she would come. She would come and she would show me things I had no desire to know.
My sister stabbing our uncle over and over, my mother screaming as Hideki ripped out her heart. My father sobbing over my mother's body, as energy of his own rose around him. Chronos aiding him with the god's strength and it still not being enough.
I watched in third person as I hung from the ceiling of a warehouse, Hideki's laughter filling my ears.
I saw myself as a child – tormented every day in school. I saw myself again as a teen, beaten bloody by my grandfather after an entire day of training. I watched in envy as my sister learned things more proper of a young woman. My grandmother taught her to cook, taught her to sew, taught her to be human.
Out of jealousy I had stayed up late at night to learn to cook for myself. I could sew up minor tears or holes in my clothing. I spent my days pretending I was anyone other than me.
Chronos enjoyed rubbing this in my face. She was angry with me, lashing out like a spoilt child.
Two more weeks had passed since uncle Taka's confession. I'd slept only a few hours each day.
Now, I lay awake at night staring unseeing at the ceiling. Memories washed over me and made me tremble. It shook my self-worth. It shook my resolve. She knew this.
And she used it to her advantage at every turn.
I curled in on myself, too tired and too stubborn to cry. She wouldn't beat me so easily.
After the first week, where I'd spent mostly unaffected by her constant images, she switched tactics.
The first night my mind was filled with memories that were not my own…I didn't understand.
By the fifth night I knew exactly who it was. And I could have killed her for it.
When I'd asked her how, she'd told me that his life was an indivisible thread connected to my own. And anything that was connected to me also made it her domain.
I watched as a baby, bundled in wards, was thrown from a floating isle.
I watched as a black haired child in a tattered cloak killed to his heart's content. But there was a haunted look to his eyes.
I watched as his surrogate family abandoned him out of fear of what he might do.
I watched as a child, so tiny in figure, so lost looking, wandered the lands of some foreign place – alone.
I watched a man strapped to a table, screaming as a third eye was surgically placed in his skull.
My heart ached for him. I was prepared for the onslaught of my own memories. I'd lived through them…reliving them wouldn't be so bad.
But watching this man…the one I equated strength and honor to…live such a horrible life killed a part of me.
No one had wanted him. Or so he had thought anyway, because his sister certainly did. But Hiei was far too jaded to tell her what I was sure she already knew.
Every time Yukina looked at him it was there as plain as day. It showed by the pain in her eyes, the look of longing for what she couldn't have. But Hiei pretended not to notice. He thought what he was doing was best, that she would despise him should she ever find out.
What would he say now if he discovered I knew parts of his past…parts that would surely hurt him?
Would he end my miserable existence for daring to tread into such territory?
I kept these visions of a past life locked safely away. When Chronos showed me something new, I locked that away too. I hid Hiei's secrets behind a thick, unbreakable wall. These were things I wanted him to tell me, when he decided it was right.
Not when some sick god was trying to screw with my head.
It was still the middle of the night, but I rose from my bed. I wore a pair of panties and a men's muscle tank. I didn't bother to dress. I'd long ago let my modesty wane. The only thing I donned was my glasses.
I picked up the sword Takahiro had given me. I'd left it resting beside the door, within easy reach.
My bare feet made little noise as I wandered through the complex, sword in hand.
It was dark, the only light stemming from red emergency bulbs every so many feet. But that was alright. Thanks to my training…I could now see in the dark fairly well. It wasn't perfect, but enough to see an enemy coming.
I padded down hallways and flights of stairs. I took my time, my mind wandering.
I traversed through the control room above the practice arena. I didn't pause to look below before moving onto the stairwell.
I could block Chronos out when I trained. The physical exhaustion kept my mind busy. It was easier to drown her out amongst the din of my power. I used every minute I wasn't able to rest training.
It gave me an edge I hadn't expected. My determination had returned tenfold since Takahiro had told me my inevitable fate.
It was me or her.
In hindsight it was simple. If I didn't win, my problems would vanish.
If I did win it would change my life forever. But it would also give me something I'd always wanted – a chance to bring this to an end.
I wanted the training to stop. I wanted my life, always spinning like a top, to finally come to a halt. I wanted to live my life the way I wanted to. I didn't want any more people dictating what I did or didn't do.
I would never be normal. But getting the chance to actually live would be a good start.
And with Chronos' power at my disposal I would be a master of my own world. With that kind of power there would never be a need to worry about strength. I would never have to be afraid for the lives of the ones I loved again, because I would protect them. With that kind of power…I could be something great.
I pushed all of this deep down into my soul. Even if I did absorb her…I might still die in the coming months.
I pulled the sword from its sheath, hearing the hollow sound of wood clacking as I tossed it aside.
Pink smoke surrounded my feet. The air, once still, now blew my hair gently across my face.
I ran my hand down the smooth, shining metal of the blade. I saw pink flash across its surface. The edge visibly sharpened and I smiled.
I'd taken this part of Takahiro's training a step further.
Once I'd mastered making the blade sharper with my reiki I'd wondered: What if I could expel that energy off it? And so I had tried. At first, nothing had happened. But the blade was an extension of me; it had my energy embedded within its metal.
I just had to bend it to my will.
The smoke at my feet swirled in a circle, the air currents picked up, caused by my reiki.
It was always prettiest in the dark.
I lifted the blade, pushed more power down its surface from the hand connected to the hilt. I took a stance meant for the best balance.
And then I let it rip.
I swung the blade in a high arc twice, creating an X in midair. My energy was released from the blade in streaks, bright pink and curved like a pair of scythe. It went flying into one of the stalagmites jutting up from the ceiling…and obliterated it.
It crumbled to the dust covered floor, nothing but rubble now.
I had no true name for this technique, but Takahiro had been surprised when I'd shown him. He hadn't expected me to take it a step further.
I'd been working on the length of time it took me to power it up. The process was too slow and too noticeable. If I were to use this against someone in battle it would need to be quicker. No enemy would give me the time to fill the sword with my energy.
So in the darkest hours of night, where sleep had become my worst enemy, I practiced.
I practiced until I couldn't feel my legs beneath me anymore. I practiced until my breaths came out in choked sobs. I practiced until my hands and feet were bloody.
Then I would pack up my things and pretend I hadn't been there at all.
Takahiro and Ren knew. They could see the fatigue in the set of my shoulders and the droop to my eyes.
But I would put on the show for them anyway. I would eat breakfast and then go on a three hour run around the mountain. I'd climb its face every day with no equipment. And I threw up everything I ate in the process.
Once I made it back inside, the real challenge began. I would train with Takahiro; we'd start with hand to hand. When he got sick of pounding my face into the floor, we would switch. I would practice with my bow or my sword, but often both.
I'd taught myself to hold the handle of a katana between my teeth. The amount of jaw strength that took would surprise you, but it was an accomplishment I was rather proud of.
If I could free up my hands in the midst of a fight, I could shoot off my bow.
Producing the bow had become second nature by then. Unlike the first week of training with it, I only needed seconds to make it come to life now.
I'd clapped my hands together, full of energy, and snapped them apart. Between them my bow would appear.
It was more refined now, looking more like an actual bow instead of just shaky energy. The arrows' tips were so smooth they looked real. It was only their tails that I had an issue with now. They were just a bunched up mess of sparking energy.
But they flew with precision. I could blow a hole through a boulder from miles away.
After nearly rending an entire wall down here in the arena with it, Takahiro had moved me outside.
I'd begun to practice making just a single arrow. But one so strong it could tear up the land. The first few times it didn't fly far. But now…now it left devastation only a few steps short of Yusuke's Reigun.
But it cost me to use it. It sucked up enough energy to make me a liability should I use it in a fight. It was a last resort kind of move. If I missed or it didn't instantly kill my opponent, I might as well let them screw me up the ass.
A niggling at the back of my mind had me packing up the sword. In the same fashion I had entered the arena, I left it.
I didn't return to my room.
Instead, I wandered into the darkened kitchen and took a seat at the island.
I placed my head against my folded hands…and waited.
Hiei's mark had almost faded. But by then I had realized that my dreams of him were far from actual dreams. Without being able to sleep, he'd come to me while I was wide awake.
He never seemed to realize otherwise. It might have been because I was walking around half asleep all the time lately.
With the fading of his mark, the visions had lost their vividness.
Something told me this would be the last one. A part of me would miss them.
This was the only time I could get any rest. With Hiei's presence Chronos usually left me alone.
I let my eyes dip closed and a sigh slipped passed my lips.
In usual fashion, he came to me in a darkened room. There was no rhyme or reason to it. No furniture, just darkness.
I supposed it was so I would have no choice but to put my full attention onto him. Not that I could ignore him, even if I tried.
He was sitting in the middle of the empty space. He was curved in on himself, one arm wrapped around a bent knee.
Smoldering red pierced me through a black and white fringe. His Jagan glowed a bright purple, the light even brighter than the glowing red of his eyes.
I didn't have to think about anything here. All I cared about were his hands on me.
I went to him, no hesitation in my steps. This was a dangerous game I was playing. I was stupid…he was…amazing.
I knew tonight would be the last time.
He didn't rise from the floor and I stood in front of him awkwardly. Even here, in this alternate space, I was still a social wreck. But it was okay…as long as it was with Hiei. He didn't understand social graces any better than I did.
His hands burned when they reached forward to grip my wrists with gentle pressure. He pulled me down until I was kneeling before him.
He didn't often talk during these encounters. He used his touch and his warmth and his undeniably skilled mouth to drive me insane instead.
But this time, something swam in his eyes that made my heart race.
His lips parted, a breath caught there. He swallowed and then chose not to speak. He leaned forward, his breath ghosted over my face and his nose brushed my cheek.
He kissed me, lips molding to mine like a perfect matching pair.
It was suddenly so much warmer in this infinite space.
The gentle pressure faded, turning into a kiss far hungrier. His hands left my wrists to cup my cheeks for a brief moment before moving into my hair. Ever fascinated with it, he buried them there and wouldn't let go.
His fingertips burned the sensitive skin of my scalp, but I didn't care.
His tongue slipped between my lips and joined mine. I kissed him for what felt like an eternity and it still wasn't enough. It would never be enough.
Besides touching and bits of foreplay here and there, we hadn't gone any farther. I had a feeling if we had I'd be left even more sexually frustrated than I already was. It was good the mark was fading. He would have broken me down eventually. I would have jumped him the next time I saw him.
And wouldn't that have been just fucking cute.
His hands left my hair to splay across my back. His fingers lifted the edge of my shirt, brushing against the small of my back. I arched into his touch, that area having always been sensitive.
He dragged me closer, his lips leaving mine for only a second so he could lift the tank over my head.
I wore nothing underneath, but I felt no shame. Hiei had seen me nude enough by then for me not to care.
He captured my lips again, pulling at the fullness at the bottom with his fangs. He dragged me forward until I was forced to straddle his hips. I settled into his lap, slightly taller than him now. I dipped my head to keep our lips joined and a low growl rumbled through his chest.
His fingertips brushed that sensitive spot on my back again.
Just like last time I arched but he'd planned that. My pelvis rolled with it and rubbed against him. His lips left my mouth to trail down the side of my neck. My breath hitched in my throat.
When that hot mouth encountered where his mark should have been, he paused. Lips brushed against my neck with each word, "It is fading."
Don't talk, don't talk, don't talk! Just keep kissing me!
I balled my fists into the hair at the back of his skull. I wrenched his head away from my neck. He snarled at my aggressiveness but I didn't give him time to yell at me. I slammed my mouth down onto his and so the cycle began again.
A loud bang had me shooting up from my seat at the island. My eyes snapped open and I was on my feet and ready to fight.
I was also covered in sweat and I could feel a wetness pooling between my legs.
My "attacker" was in fact Ren, who had barged into the kitchen not expecting to find me there.
He took one look at my flushed skin and raised an eyebrow, "Good dream?" he asked, his tone sarcastic.
I relaxed my stance and then breezed by him like he hadn't even spoken. He watched me as I left the room.
I needed a shower – a fucking cold one.
. . .
Ragged breath…that was the first thing I noticed. It took a second longer for me to realize it was my own.
Someone was pushing my hair out my face, their hands frantic in their movements.
They were mumbling to themselves, "Come on, fade, fade!"
My vision was blurry but I didn't remember losing my contacts. Maybe by some miracle my eyesight had cleared up.
I pushed those hands away, rougher than I'd intended but sick of their scrabbling.
"Kasumi?"
Ren…the man above me was Ren. That's right. I had been training with my bow. I'd used a bit too much energy.
Something dark had swallowed me then.
Now here I was…time had jumped and I had no idea how much I had missed.
I brought my own hands to my face. Something was wrong…
I felt at first across my forehead, checking for a wound because I had fallen on my face. There was nothing there so my fingers traveled lower.
I pressed around the bone of my eye sockets…there, there it was.
There were jagged cracks in my skin, rough and hot and large enough for me to stick a fingernail into. They spread out from around my eyes, reaching towards the apple of my cheeks.
What the fuck?!
"What's on my face Ren?"
They hurt like burns, stinging my eyes, making them water. I clawed at my face. Was I going crazy?!
He didn't answer me right away and I felt my vision come back to me. I knew now why it had faded. I still had my contacts in and Ren had tried to heal what was on my face. It hadn't made a difference.
"What the fuck is on my face Ren?!" I screamed.
"Just…calm down! They're fading now."
Calm down, was he out of his mind?!
"Do you remember anything from after you blacked out?" he asked.
I knew I wouldn't but I wracked my brain anyway. I drew nothing but blanks. Darkness, that's all I remembered. It was not the comforting kind where I would find Hiei in the center of it either. It was just pure darkness, not even a hint of light to be seen. The kind of dark where even shadows cannot live.
"No," I said, my voice cracking.
Ren nodded and then offered me a hand up. I took it, one hand still passing beneath my eyes. He was right, the marks were smaller now. By the time I was fully on my feet they were gone.
"Your uncle will be back soon. I think we should ask him about this."
It was left unspoken that Ren had some clue as to what was going on. He just didn't want to tell me. It was easier for him to pawn the task off on Takahiro. He didn't want to deal with whatever reaction I might have.
Well fuck you too.
I stalked off, annoyed and scared and angry. What had gone wrong? Had my energy back fired?
No…it wasn't that. I'd used too much sure…but there was only one explanation that made sense.
Chronos…it was always Chronos.
I left the arena to go find something to eat. With my lack of sleep I'd been looking for energy in other ways. It was lucky I was training so hard every day, otherwise I might have gained too much weight.
As it was, my body had always been toned. But now it was hardened, muscle and sinew that had been toughened. My flat stomach had turned into abs; my arms were a little larger than I remembered too.
I felt like a different woman…in more ways than just physical.
I entered the kitchen and grabbed some fruit off the counter. I bit into the apple I had picked and took a seat at the island.
It would be an agonizing wait for uncle Taka to return. He'd gone off to the closest town to make a phone call of all things. He'd promised to return with supplies as well, considering our cupboards were near empty.
He hadn't mentioned why the call was so important…or who he was calling at all. This didn't bode well with me.
I had a little over two weeks left with him. I'd strangle him if he cut it short.
But I had seen the barely visible crease of concern around his eyes. I had noticed the way his demeanor around me had changed. He was cautious now, as if he were walking on eggshells.
Sometimes I forgot things someone had just told me. Others I woke up from darkness in a place I hadn't been before.
Chronos had stopped speaking to me some time ago. Now she just tormented me with images. It got worse as time wore on. Each day I tried to use her powers and bend them into my own, I grew wearier.
She was not willingly giving them anymore. I had to take what I wanted. And it wasn't fucking easy.
In the start of my last month, Takahiro had given me free reign to train how I pleased. I'd used this time to continue trying to absorb the god. It was a fruitless, hopeless endeavor. It left me weak and broken.
But still, I pushed on; I persevered in the face of it.
Or I'd die trying, at any rate.
During that time I'd developed an ability for one sole purpose. I'd thought of Hiei one afternoon, my mind floating away from the fact that I missed him. And then something else came to mind.
I still wasn't as fast as he was. I wasn't even as fast as Yusuke, whose speed nearly matched the fire demon's.
So how could I compensate for that? Surely I would face an opponent someday who's speed outmatched mine.
And then I thought of what Chronos was. She wasn't just the gate keeper of Purgatory; she was the god that created time. So why couldn't I use that to my advantage?
It was one of the more difficult things I'd tried to achieve thus far.
And I'd finally managed it just a little while ago while facing Ren. We were sparring and he had stopped holding back some time ago. Back when I'd trained for the tournament, he was still pretending to be a regular human. Now, he used everything at his disposal, other than Threads of Fate anyway.
He was incredibly fast, though I could make out his movements when he ran. I'd called forth that ancient aura of Chronos' and bent it to my will.
To my utter shock a clock face, with large golden ornate hands, had appeared in front of me. The symbols across the intricate clock were not in a language I understood. But it was easy to tell what it was.
I remember thinking how I wanted to slow things down. And it did as I asked, the hand ticking backwards instead of forward. The sounds the hands made were so damn loud it drowned out everything else.
It didn't seem to affect me any, but Ren's movements switched to something like slow-mo. I was able to block all his forthcoming attacks with ease.
But the power didn't last long. All at once time sped up again and I was left disoriented. He'd smashed me in the face with a punch hard enough to break my cheek bone.
The clock had disappeared and so I'd pulled out my bow. Ren was quick to get the fuck out of the way when I shot it straight at him.
From there the memory continued on, until it got to the point where I'd used too much.
Now here I was, wallowing in the kitchen, tired and sore.
Some days I truly hated my life…
Later that evening, after my uncle had returned, I sat in what I called the common room. It had metal walls and cement floors like everywhere else in the compound. But Takahiro had at least tried to make it a little homier than the rest. He'd placed a large area rug on the floor, the colors warm and pleasant to look at. Armchairs littered the room; a couch was situated in front of a fireplace (one of those electric ones) and a great table sat in the center of it all.
I sat in an armchair, wishing there was at least one window for me to stare out.
Ren had told him what went on today. He hadn't taken it spectacularly.
It was as I feared. It was Chronos showing part of her true face through my own. It was a sign that I was losing the battle against her.
It made my heart freeze in my chest.
It made me sick to my stomach.
I was too fucking stubborn to fade into nothing. This couldn't be happening.
He'd told me to ignore it for now, that things would get better soon. I didn't believe his words and frankly, I don't think he did either.
Would I fade away? Would it even matter if I did?
But then I thought of everyone I would lose – Hitomi, who I had yet to properly speak to. Kazuma, who I loved like a brother and would genuinely miss. Keiko, the first person to ever befriend me.
Then I thought of the others, how I had grown attached to them too – Ren, Takahiro, Botan, Yukina, Genkai, Shizuru…Yusuke…Kurama…
Hiei…
Hell, I'd even miss fucking Koenma.
I was sick in the head.
I took in a shuddering breath and dragged a hand down my face.
For the first time in weeks her voice whispered in the back of my mind, "Soon…"
Never! I screeched internally, my eyes squeezing shut.
My head hurt, but that was a constant these days. Just like the bloody noses whenever the headaches came on.
I was used to the taste of blood in my mouth now.
I didn't know how I was going to make it through a few more months of this. From everyone's grim attitude I'd say my chances were slim to none.
I just wanted to sleep…
That's all I wanted…
. . .
It was a few days later when something inside me snapped.
I was too tried, too weak, too drained to keep the charade going anymore.
I wasn't alright. There was no point in pretending. The cracks beneath my eyes never left after the last time they'd appeared.
I got a good look at them for the first time. My eyes, now leaning more towards a nasty dark purple, were dull. The cracks themselves were just like they felt.
They were jagged, like lightning bolts stretching over my skin. The insides glowed a bright gold, the same gold as Chronos' energy. Their edges looked charred, like someone had dragged a hot poker down my cheek.
They made me look far more evil than any demon I'd ever seen.
The eyes that stared back at me now…were not my own. This body…this face…these hands…were not my own.
I was nothing. Soon, even my soul would disappear.
I wouldn't move onto heaven or hell or wherever you go. I would just cease to be.
Would that really be so bad?
Even though I was so wrapped up in this sudden change, I didn't stop my training. Takahiro was the only one brave enough to face me now. Ren stayed a safe distance, only coming near me if necessary.
He was afraid of me.
What had I done all those times I'd blacked out the past so many weeks? Had I hurt him?
I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't. It did nothing but cause me pain.
I put my all into my sparring match with Takahiro. Halfway through he'd called it to a sudden halt.
I didn't question him when he walked off and left me in the arena alone.
I just kept practicing. What else could I do? Sit around and wait to be swallowed up?
My vision darkened around the edges. I ignored it.
Just keep going. That's all you can do.
I was so distracted, so worn out and fucked up that I never noticed when several familiar energies entered the compound. I just kept shadow fighting with myself.
I revved up the bow. The sound it made was like music to my ears. It was like the sound a laser beam made. When I shot it off it boomed like thunder.
Eyes…I felt eyes on me. I stiffened but didn't turn to the window above.
It wasn't Ren…or Takahiro.
Then a voice, so heartbreakingly wonderful, filled my head.
"Turn around, onna."
I must have lost my mind. He wasn't here. He couldn't be here now. His mark had faded. There was no way for him to contact me.
I pulled back the bow's string. The arrow I had knocked would blow a hole through Takahiro's wall. I didn't care.
His voice angered me for some obtuse, irritating reason. Why was I thinking of him now?
"Kasumi…"
It whispered through my mind…just like the dreams.
I let go of the string.
The arrow flew, the sound it made supersonic as it blew through my uncle's wall. He wouldn't be pleased.
It created a dust cloud so large that I was sure whoever was above would not see me.
I scampered off through a hidden door located in the far left wall.
I could feel them now that I wasn't concentrating on something else. Their energy was so bright I don't know how I missed it before. Two were bright blue, one swirled with red – Genkai and Yusuke. There was one bright orange – Kazuma. Then there was another that was green, but a different shade from my sister's – Kurama. The presence of a yellow one surprised me, but only briefly – Botan.
And then finally, closer than I had expected, was Hiei's multitude of color. He was chasing me. So I pushed my legs harder. I used my new found speed and my knowledge of the compound to lose him.
I couldn't hide my energy. So it wouldn't last long. I had no way to pull it back in anymore. Chronos would not accept it. She pushed it back out, making me a beacon no matter where I went.
It was another reason for my never ending weariness.
I hid two floors up, in a room I knew had a lock on the door. I couldn't face them now. Not like this.
Why were they even here?!
And then it dawned on me. That call Takahiro had made last week…it was to them!
More specifically, I'd be willing to bet it was Genkai he'd called. He'd needed help…help with me.
I was in a bathroom, one of many in the compound. I didn't know why this place was so large when only Takahiro stayed here.
I gripped the metal sink with hands that had grown strong enough to dent it.
I gritted my teeth and held back tears that would only cause my eyes to sting more. The blackness at the edges grew. I felt blood drip from my nose into the sink.
A pounding on the door had my heart racing. I heard voices through the loud clanging of metal on flesh.
When the pounding stopped I knew what was coming. I prepared for it.
I opened my hands, my bow forming between them. I held an arrow pointed straight at the doorway.
It was kicked open, the metal deadbolt snapping with the force. It was truly amazing how strong Hiei was. If he'd kicked it any harder there would have been a hole where his foot connected.
The bright pink of my energy illuminated my face. It brought to light in an instant to everyone who stood outside the door just how far gone I was.
My eyes hardened, the golden glow clouding my vision as the cracks lengthened. I could feel them as they snaked down my skin, serpentine in nature.
My eyes locked with red. Worry, fear, trepidation, defiance, anger and betrayal swam there. I pulled back the string of my bow, it made an ominous noise as it prepared to fire.
"You mean to fight me?" he asked, hands moving towards the blades at his waist.
Behind him was everyone else, all with different looks of shock or fear or horror. What stung me the most was Kazuma. He had god's honest tears gathered in his fucking eyes. But there was so much horrified disgust there as well that it didn't matter.
"Move," I said with a voice that cracked and was not entirely my own.
Takahiro stepped into my line of vision. The black ate up a little more.
He stepped between the group and they moved as if he'd commanded them. He came up behind Hiei and stopped.
"Enough," he said. "They're here to help you."
He stepped in front of Hiei and I felt a twisted smile grace my face.
"Too bad…I don't need help," I said. And then I let the arrow fly.
I'd hit Takahiro with them before. This one wasn't meant to kill him, only slow him down.
It caused enough of a surprise that I was able to flee from the bathroom, but I didn't make it far.
Hiei caught me. He was not at all fazed that I had just shot my master in the face. It was point blank even, like it was nothing to me.
In fight or flight mode now, I chose a different route to try and escape him.
I brought forth that ancient aura, gold coating my skin. Hiei was faster than me…but not for long.
The clock appeared. He let me go in the face of what could possibly be a bigger threat. He eyed the clock with obvious wariness, drawing my sword from his waist.
"Why don't you slow it the fuck down," I said, shooting him a twisted grin.
The clock did as I told it, the hand moving backwards, the ticks loud enough to rattle your brain.
I turned and ran. I looked back to see if it had worked and he was still following me…but I could see him now. His body moved in a long blur. He was so fucking fast even slowing down time wasn't enough to completely stop him.
I ran faster. I took twists and turns down different hallways. If I didn't lose him in the next ten seconds the ability would end. He'd catch me then. I was only delaying my fate.
And if I was being honest, I had no idea why I was running the first place. I'd done nothing but pine after the demon for the past so many months. Why did my feet keep moving? Why did I run? When all I wanted was to turn around and see those red eyes and know he was there.
I knew when the spell ended because I was tackled to the floor. His heavy body pinned me there face first.
Unfortunately for him…I was stronger now. I wasn't just some normal human girl anymore.
I turned the tables on him, bucking him off and flipping us over. Now I was straddling his waist. My hands were wrapped around his neck, squeezing.
But they weren't my hands. Those couldn't be my hands. I didn't want to hurt him!
A chorus of, kill him, take his final breath, kill him…kill him, began in my head.
No! I didn't want Hiei to die!
But my hands were no longer mine. I couldn't release their hold, the grip strong. I was never more grateful for the fire demon's strength then at that moment.
He broke my fingers to pry them off, but I didn't feel the pain. They healed instantaneously after they'd separated from his neck.
I'd left bruises – dark, horrible, awful marks.
He blew me back with a blast of aura so hot it burned my forearms. I'd tried to block it, calling up my own reiki but it broke beneath the force of his strength.
And the black ate up a little more. It was like staring through a pinhole now.
The others had caught up by then. They surrounded Hiei, caging him in. I didn't know if it was to prevent him from coming after me or me him.
Yusuke stepped forward. There was no anger in his eyes, but he was defensive and wary just like the rest. He held his hands out in a calming manner, but I took a step back all the same.
"What is going on here?!" the shouted question came from Kazuma. He was somewhere in the thick of it, confusion clear in his voice.
But I only had eyes for the demon in front of me. I'd almost forgotten that tidbit of information. There was no denying it now. Red had bled into the chocolate brown of his eyes.
When he opened his mouth to speak, I saw fangs. "Have you gone insane?!"
I laughed at him. Because yes, yes I had it would seem.
"And what the fuck is that creepy shit under your eyes?!"
I didn't answer him. What was the point? Something was about to swallow me whole. I could feel it. It was like a pressure in my skull, sucking my brain out through my ears.
Soon enough the black took my vision and then I was on the inside and Chronos was out.
It was not the same as before. The sensation grossly differed to the point I was screaming at the top of my lungs. No one could hear me. So I screamed louder and louder.
Let me back out! This is not your body! I didn't give you permission!
None of it mattered, she just laughed. The sound boomed and then I heard it slip past my own lips.
No one noticed a difference on the outside. I still looked the same. I'd been using so much of Chronos' aura they couldn't even tell mine was gone.
Or so I had thought, but Chronos informed me otherwise.
"The fire demon knows…and it's killing him," she laughed again, her voice gleeful.
He'd pushed his way to the forefront of the group again. He grabbed Yusuke's arm, dragging the boy backwards and away from me.
"It serves him right for being so much trouble," she continued.
"Shut up!" I snarled. I hadn't tried to speak out loud until now. To my surprise the words spilled from my lips as well.
The people standing in front of me stared at me as if I were crazy.
They weren't far off.
I couldn't hear what they were saying. I saw lips move but I wasn't a skilled lip reader. But another voice joined the emptiness of my mind. It wasn't Hiei's and it wasn't Chronos' but it was one I recognized instantly.
"Oneesan," she whispered.
It struck me like a lightning bolt. I heard Chronos scream in outrage. I was dragged back out. The black drew back and disappeared. I could see again.
With my sudden upending, my world spun and my energy burst from beneath my skin. It glowed fiercely, one giant mass of electricity. Every light in the hallway blew. Sparks rained down on the group. It was like something out of a fucking action movie.
A gentle hand landed on my shoulder. I fell to my knees and it followed me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a hug.
"It's okay now, Kasumi. You can rest. I'm here now."
I was completely drained. Exhaustion washed over me. And for the first time in a month, I fell into a sleep where I wasn't plagued by horrifying images.
I had no idea how long I slept. I just knew that by the time I woke up I was back in my tiny room.
I didn't move at first. My whole body was on fire. My muscles were past the point of sore and into the territory of agonizing.
I took a deep breath and his unmistakable scent filled my nose.
"You're awake," it wasn't a question. He knew it was me this time, for the most part anyway.
I refused to turn my head to look at him. He'd seen me at one of my worst moments and it would only become a bigger problem later. I couldn't even contemplate facing him right now.
Leave, please leave. I begged in my head hoping he'd hear me.
"No," he said. So he'd heard me but he had no plans on obeying – big surprise.
A chair scraped against the cement floor. He moved with silent steps. I didn't know he was next to me until his form sunk onto the bed.
A bandaged hand appeared in my line of sight. I flinched but his hand followed. He prodded around my eyes, but the marks weren't there now. I couldn't feel them at least.
"What has happened to you?" he asked. His voice was softer than I'd ever heard it before.
I took in a deep gulp of air. His fingers continued to wander beneath my eyes, trying to understand what he didn't.
I turned my neck, finally gaining the courage to look him in the eye. But I regretted it the second I did. Because my gaze had to travel up his torso first and they landed on his neck long before his face.
There my hand prints remained. They were an angry, deep purplish red. I cringed at the sight and sat up. His hand fell away.
I buried my face in my hands, curling in on myself. I'd hurt him. That was from me. That was my doing.
How could I do that?
"They'll be gone by morning."
That didn't make me feel any better.
When I didn't speak or move he asked again, "What has happened to you?"
I couldn't explain with words. So I projected images to him and snippets of thought and bits and pieces of me. That purple glow watched on, soaking up whatever he could.
"You're combining," he said.
I nodded into my blankets where my face remained hidden.
"So what Takahiro told Genkai was the truth."
I nodded again. I didn't know what he'd told her, but I assumed it was true. Takahiro had no reason to lie about this after all.
"Look at me," he said.
I refused. I didn't even shake my head no, I just didn't move.
"Look at me!" he snarled.
When I refused the second time I was ripped from the bed. He flung me around so I was facing him and I slammed my eyes closed. No. I can't look at you. I didn't want to see the horror or the disgust I would surely find there.
His voice filled my head, "Open your eyes."
A sturdy hand gripped my chin and dragged me forward. It brought his nightly visits to the forefront of my mind and he paused.
"Oh," he purred. "Did you have sweet dreams while I was away?"
I hadn't expected this from him. It sounded like he was teasing me. But this wasn't exactly an appropriate time for that kind of thing. Surely he knew that?
I hadn't planned on telling him that I knew he was tricking me the entire time. But his voice and the way it slipped from his tongue like hot, hot honey made me shiver. I wanted to reenact those dreams in real life so badly that it shook me to my core.
So I put a stop to it before it could even begin, "I know those were real."
At the same time my eyes snapped open, he dropped his hand from my chin. His eyes had widened, giving away his lie. But his pupils were blown, large from arousal. Apparently my little images had turned him on.
But you couldn't tease me for things that were you're doing. Because it meant you wanted it too.
"When did you figure it out?" he asked. He didn't bother lying again. There was no point in covering now, it would just be disrespectful.
"You came to me while I was wide awake one night. That's when I knew."
He nodded, his lips turning down into a scowl. He wasn't happy with his misstep. I didn't bother to tell him that it wasn't an isolated event.
"I did it more than once?"
Damn him, "Get the fuck out of my head."
"I can't," he replied. He folded his arms across his chest. His entire demeanor screamed defensive. He was ready to fight me on this if he had to.
My eyes narrowed and his gaze zeroed in on them. It was what he'd been after this entire time. He lunged forward. I could see him move now, just barely. But it was enough for me to jerk my head to the side, away from his hand.
But Hiei was no amateur and he knew exactly which way I was headed. He corrected his movements, all of this done in little more than a millisecond. His thumb and forefinger gripped my chin again, but not gently this time.
He wrenched me forward until we were almost touching. He turned my head from side to side, his eyes never leaving mine.
"They're wrong," he said.
I tore his hand from my face with a strong grip, shoving his arm away from me.
I took a step back and rubbed at my chin. The glare I sent him could have rivaled one of his own.
"Yeah, they're purple. So fuckin' what?!" I'd turned back to my old friend – anger. It was so much easier to be angry.
Hiei's eyes narrowed, his gaze heated – pissed off. He took a step forward and for the first time since laying eyes on him I realized something.
Hiei had grown stronger.
It was in the set of his shoulders and the way his presence swallowed up the room. It was in the way he stood just a little taller, though there was no added physical height to be had. His eyes had a new resolve in them. It made my heart speed up in my chest.
He'd changed. In such a short time…he had changed, just a little.
But…so had I. At this new stage in our lives…it was like learning each other all over again.
It excited me and made me ache all at once. He was a fucking tragedy waiting to happen. No life with a man like Hiei would be normal…
But, after today, I had no hope for normal ever again. I might as well go all out.
My thoughts only solidified after his next words. They struck me like lightning, straight in the gut.
"Stop with the fucking show!" He shouted. "I can see through you Kasumi. I know you too well not to."
Yeah…he did, didn't he? He'd seen all sides of me. Not even Kazuma or Keiko could claim that. He held a piece of me that no one else did. It seemed he understood that as well.
I don't know where it came from. Why those particular words spilled passed my lips. But it was too late and I could no longer swallow them back up.
"Do you believe in soulmates?"
I'd posed similar questions to him before, when nervous about his answer. I never just outright asked what I wanted to.
His entire face changed in the span of a second. Once angry, defensive and fierce, it morphed into surprised. From there it went to confusion and then finally landed on suspicious.
"Why?"
That look told me everything. There was no fucking way I could tell him. I did everything I could just to block it from my mind.
But he noticed.
Hiei advanced towards me, eyes searching my face for any kind of hint. When nothing on the outside explained my question he began his search elsewhere.
"What are you hiding?"
It was behind that infinite wall. That unbreakable, impenetrable wall I'd created. But as soon as I thought of it, it appeared before the man. It had taken little to no time for him to pick it from the inner workings of my head.
I watched him appear in front of it. He stood before the wall that stretched farther than the eye could see his body small in comparison.
"Show me, or I will break this down."
A very real fear pierced my heart then. Everything I knew about him was hidden beyond there. Was he really strong enough to destroy the wall I'd painstakingly created?
Was I really that weak?
"Kasumi!"
I had to pick the lesser of two evils. Let him know that Chronos had divulged all his secrets, or tell him what Ren had told me.
I opened my eyes.
"Hiei…"
And he opened his. That red had a habit of drowning me. But I couldn't let it this time.
I would ruin everything we'd somehow managed to build. He would never trust me again. But it was better that I told him this…then what lurked behind that wall.
I wasn't in love with him. We weren't even together. This still felt like a proverbial nail in our possible relationship coffin.
My eyes hardened. I'm sorry you have to learn this way. I really am…
His brow furrowed, "Well spit it out!"
"You're…Hiei…"
How do you go about telling a man that you are connected to them by destiny? How do you tell a demon that you are tied in a manner that crossed lifetimes? How do you tell a man like Hiei that he is my soulmate?
So I did it the only way I knew how. I showed him.
Ren had taught me this a few weeks back, before I'd scared him off. It was a technique he used in conjunction with his threads.
He pushed reiki to his eyes so he could look inside a person. When this was accomplished he knew just where to place his threads to rip out a soul.
"Can you enhance your sight with youki?" I asked.
His brow furrowed further but he nodded slowly.
"Do it," I said. I brought my own power up my body, feeling it wash over me in a warm layer.
When it reached my eyes the horrible evidence I had wished to disprove was glaringly obvious.
I heard a strangled gasp leave Hiei's throat.
I was just as surprised, even though I'd expected this. It wasn't what I had assumed it would be.
Just as Ren had described, that thread (if you could call it that) was wrapped around Hiei's soul. On the other end was my heart, tied to him like a tether. The red "thread" was as thick as a rope and not so much like string. It was more like thick lines of bright, blood red energy.
"What the fuck is this?" he hissed. His tone was deadly. My heart constricted in my chest.
You could see it beat beneath the string. It pushed it in and out…in and out.
"I think you know," I replied, voice quiet.
"That's…that's impossible!" he shouted.
I broke the spell on my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at it anymore. But Hiei stared on, his eyes flicking back and forth on the now invisible string.
I could do nothing but stare at the floor. I expected him to run. Hell, I couldn't blame him. If he wasn't blocking the door I probably would have bolted.
"This is a lie," he snarled.
"It isn't…" I said to the floor.
A wave of heat washed over me. It made sweat instantly blossom on my brow to drip down my face. I swallowed hard, my throat dry.
When I flicked my eyes up to him the heat only grew. It was past the point of uncomfortable and had stepped into the realm of dangerous. I took a step away from him. But when the back of my knees hit the bed, I knew I had nowhere to run.
His eyes were crazed, filled with an anguish I didn't understand. Seeing this had frightened him. And Hiei was so messed up that he didn't know how to deal with it. It was a threat to him. Something he needed to eliminate.
"You have five seconds to change your answer," he snarled.
I glared at him. I wasn't afraid to lose my life today. It would almost be better…if it was by Hiei's hand.
That…and I wasn't a fucking liar.
"It's not a lie," I repeated.
The chair he'd been sitting in before caught fire. I heard the walls groan and buckle from the onslaught of heat.
Hiei was about to cook me alive, in this little metal fucking oven.
Fuck you Takahiro and your poor choice in hideouts!
I wasn't saved by the pounding on the door that came with the rise in Hiei's power. He wasn't fazed by the yelling outside it, nor did he turn to unlock the door.
I waited for it to be kicked down, but it never came.
Okay, so they were just going to let me die. Cool.
"Why aren't you defending yourself!" he yelled.
That's when I realized that Hiei wasn't doing this on purpose. He couldn't control himself. That's how much damage I'd just done. After all the pain he'd been through, I had to pull this shit on him.
The pounding returned, but it was different this time. I saw the door bend, like it was being hit with a battering ram.
The lock broke, but Hiei's aura sent out a backdraft. Without a tether the door blew outward, smashing into whoever had opened it.
That was when I finally drew my reiki up around me. My skin was flaming red, first degree burns over every exposed inch.
"Hiei…?" I tired but he sliced a hand through the air.
"Don't! I can't hear your voice right now!"
His fists were clenched so hard blood was spilling over his knuckles. His entire body shook with the effort to control himself. It did him little good.
"Why would you show me this?" he asked through clenched teeth.
This riled me up, it was his fault! "You demanded to know!"
He looked murderous. His eyes were so blown the pupil might as well have swallowed them. He growled deep in his throat. It was so predatory it reminded me of a wolf backed into a corner.
I heard someone swear behind him. My eyes left him for a split second to see who it was. It was a heartbeat's worth of time. Just long enough for me to see Yusuke and Kurama in the doorway.
Hiei launched himself at me. He was faster than I remembered.
I brought up my arms to fight him off but he snaked his arms around my waist. I was lifted off my feet and he took off through the door. The two other men were far too stunned to stop him. Either that or Hiei really had gotten a speed boost.
I couldn't see where he was taking me, but I could tell when we left the compound. Fresh air hit my nose as we sped away from the mountain.
Hiei ran for a long time…and I knew we must be very far away. It took him only minutes to cross long distances. We had to be hundreds of miles away by the time he stopped.
Night had fallen. He came upon a forest that stretched for miles; all I could see was green. His pace slowed, at first not by much, but eventually he was just jogging.
He came to a halt in a secluded clearing. But he didn't put me down.
I hung over his shoulder, my body weary from being carried for so long. He was breathing heavy, his body so over heated that I was soaked in sweat.
Everything on me stung and I'd healed some of the damage with my reiki during the ride.
I didn't think Hiei could sweat. But the nape of his neck was glistening and I watched as a single droplet traveled down his spine. He'd forgone his cloak in favor of a scooped neck tank. I could see my necklace resting there.
My heart clenched again. Why was this happening?
I wanted to ask if he was going to put me down. But I had a feeling he wouldn't hear me. All I could do was wait and see if he calmed.
It was slow at first. His breath evened out. Some of the heat washing over me waned. His grip around my waist was not as tight.
He slid me down the side of his body and held onto me while I steadied my feet. It took me a second to reorient with the ground. When I did, his arm fell away.
He had hung his head, his eyes shielded from view.
Was he disgusted with me now? Had he come out here to kill me?
"I'm not going to kill you, baka onna!"he yelled.
I jumped, not expecting the volume of his voice. He was still in my fucking head too.
"I don't need to be in your head, it's written all over your face!"
I pursed my lips and refused to speak to him. Hiei was normally quietly angry. He hissed and snarled. He didn't yell.
I didn't know what to do with this Hiei. It was a new side…and I believed that now…I held a piece of him that no one else did. We were even now.
He didn't speak again. He just stood beside me. His entire body trembled, like he was trying to jump from his own skin.
I reached out a hand. He'd said he wouldn't kill me. That didn't mean he wouldn't hurt me. But he looked so conflicted…so broken. I placed my palm on his upper arm, trying to offer comfort.
I still didn't know if what I did was a mistake…or just a really pleasant surprise.
As soon as my hand made contact Hiei snatched it from his arm and wrenched me forward. His other arm swooped behind my shoulder blades and I slammed into his chest.
He didn't kiss me…he only held me. He buried his face in my hair and squeezed to the point it was a bit uncomfortable. He was still as hot as pavement on a ninety degree summer day.
It didn't change the act for what it was.
There was desperation in the way he held me. There was denial in the way his shoulders shook.
We would never speak of this again past tonight.
And I told myself every day that we had made the right choice.
. . .
A/N: Well shit, bet you didn't see that coming! Now that Hiei and Kasumi have had their reunion and one of the elephants is sort of out of the room, the rest of the gang (as well as Hitomi) will return next chapter. Kasumi is forever running from her problems. What are we going to do with her? Don't worry, she smartens up! Chronos is not out of the picture, more on that next chapter. Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!