Disclaimer: Neither Avatar: the Last Airbender nor its characters belong to me, nor will they ever
Katara tossed and turned all night, waiting for Zuko to return. But he never did. Pushing aside her hurt and panic, she resumed her daily schedule when the sun came up, starting with practice in the training room, followed by breakfast with Iroh, skillfully avoiding his questions regarding Zuko's whereabouts. When she still did not see him at lunch, she made a quick appearance at court, ignoring both pointed stares and prying greetings, to find Reike in a secluded corner of the garden. He was surrounded by a few young women, and they were all wearing large smiles as he regaled them with some tale. When he saw her approaching, he stopped and bowed low in greeting. "Fire Lady Katara."
The women obeyed protocol and bowed, too.
"Reike," she greeted, acknowledging the women with a slight bow of her head. "May I speak with you for a moment. In private."
"Of course, my lady. Ladies, if you'll excuse us." He stepped out of the circle, offering Katara his arm as he led her across the garden.
"I'm sorry to pull you away," she said.
He smiled. "No, you're not. You like tormenting them."
She could not help but smirk. "And depriving them of your company is 'torment'?"
"Well, you already have the Fire Lord; you need me, too?"
She elbowed him. "Very funny. I came here to ask if you've seen Zuko."
"Not today. Why?"
They sat on a stone bench beneath a cherry blossom tree and she sighed. "I haven't either. I've checked everywhere I thought he might be. I don't know where else to look and I think it would look…it looks bad if I don't know where my own husband is."
"Lots of women don't know where their husbands are."
Her eyes snapped up to his.
Reike's eyes grew wide with realization, and he shook his head vehemently. "I didn't mean it that way, Katara. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"
"That's not funny, Reike. Is…is he—"
"Completely faithful to you? Yes."
She sighed. She didn't know if she should tell him about what had happened last night. It was really none of his business, but she didn't know what to think of Zuko, of the kiss, of his sudden departure and consequent disappearance. Suddenly, she realized that other than Zuko, Iroh, Reike, and on occasion Jien, she had no true friends in the Fire Nation. And surely the latter three were more loyal to Zuko than they were to her; they were, after all, his family or subjects. The thought made the sinking feeling in her stomach worse, and she swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Do you have any idea where he might be?"
"No, but did you ask the Captain of the Guard?"
"No, why?"
"It's his job to know where the Fire Lord—and Lady, I might add—is at all times."
Chewing her bottom lip, she wondered why she hadn't thought of that.
"I wouldn't worry, Katara. He does this sometimes. He'll turn up."
"He hasn't done this before."
"He doesn't do it often. Usually it's when he's overwhelmed. Did…did something happen?"
"No," she answered, too quickly.
Reike looked down at her. "Uh huh."
She looked away. Though Reike had become a good friend, she didn't feel comfortable discussing this with him. It was times like there that she really missed Suki. Toph was never one for these conversations either, but her sister-in-law seemed to always know what to say. Resolving to move on from this topic and pen Suki a letter later, she said, "It's fine. Nothing that won't sort itself out."
"Right," Reike said, drawing the word out emphatically. "Well then, I simply cannot let you return to any dull meetings or what have you, and you've already spoiled my fun for the day, so what do you say to me treating you to afternoon tea?"
"You, treating me to tea? In my own court?"
Reike smiled widely. "Did you just say your court?"
Katara flushed. "I—I guess I did."
He knelt in front of her and kissed the back of her hand dramatically. "My Fire Lady, you make me prouder everyday."
She enjoyed a leisurely tea with Reike before hunting down the Captain of the Guard, discovering that Zuko had left palace grounds for the day to oversee a naval training exercise. It sounded legitimate, but the timing was awfully convenient.
That night at dinner with Iroh, her irritation with her husband was beginning to dissipate when he strode into the dining room, and it flared again.
"Nephew," Iroh greeted. "I thought the exercise wouldn't end until way into the night."
"It won't," he said, seating himself at the head of the table. "But the men were doing impressive work, and my commanders have everything under control."
"I see. Well, the palace has continued to function despite your absence, if you were worried."
"I wasn't. I expected noting less." He took a sip of wine and looked at her. "Good evening, Katara."
"Good evening, Fire Lord."
Zuko winced, but barely. "You're angry with me."
"I'm fine."
"Astute."
Katara and Iroh had spoken at the same time.
"No, really. I'm fine," she said, stabbing at her rice with her chopsticks. "I'm only your wife. I'm only your Fire Lady. No need to tell me where you're going, or what you're doing, or anything at all, really. Especially after last night. I don't blame you."
"Last night? What happened last night?" Iroh questioned, searching the couple's faces.
"Katara, I think this is a discussion we should have in private."
"Oh, so you do want to discuss it?"
"I—yes, I do." He sighed. He dismissed the servants and turned to his uncle. "Uncle, I'm sorry, but will you please give us a moment?"
Katara opened her mouth to object. She had not expected to have this discussion here, now, but Iroh stood, waving his hands. "Of course. I was finished anyway. I will see you two in the morning."
When the door closed behind him, she kept her eyes on a spot on the wall in front of her and said, "That was rude."
"I was rude? You're the one that brought up a rather private matter in a room full of servants and my uncle."
She bit her tongue. He was right. She had tried not to react; really, she had. But when he walked in, acting like nothing had happened, she couldn't contain it. He could make her so mad so easily, so quickly. "Well, you're the one who ran from said private matter like the room was on fire."
"I—"
"Don't insult me by denying it."
"Agni, Katara," Zuko groaned, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes.
Katara stood and Zuko grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going?"
"To bed."
"Sit down and let's talk about this."
"Fine. Why did you kiss me?"
Zuko surprised her by laughing and she turned away, embarrassed. But he still gripped her wrist firmly.
"Katara, stop, I'm not—I'm not laughing at you. But, Agni, was that a serious question?"
She sat back down but only because it seemed like the only way he'd release her arm. "Yes, it was a serious question," she ground out, her jaw clenched tight.
"Because you're attractive. Because I'm attracted to you."
Katara blanched. "You—what?" She had not expected that answer.
"You have to know how attractive you are. I…lost control when I kissed you, and then I felt as if I'd disrespected you—"
"By kissing me? You thought that was disrespectful? What about running from the room and then avoiding me all day? That was disrespectful."
"I didn't run," he argued.
"Whatever, Zuko," she said, standing and pulling away before he could grab her again. "Just…don't do it again."
"What? Kiss you?"
She stopped, her hand on the door. "No. Act like I don't matter."
He'd crossed the room before she could blink, reaching over her shoulder to shove the door closed. "Is…is that how you feel? That I treated you—"
"I was humiliated, Zuko. My own husband…." She took a deep breath and turned around to look at him.
"I'm sorry, Katara," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I didn't mean…I just didn't want to frighten you."
"I'm not afraid of you," she said.
Something flashed in his eyes and he straightened, stepped away from her. "Maybe you should be. I'm not good, Katara."
She shook her head and reached for him. "Zuko, don't—"
He pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to the crown of her head. After a moment, he said, "Go to bed, Katara."
She pulled back to look up at him. "But you—"
"There's something I have to check on. I won't be long, I promise. Here, I'll walk you to our room." He led her from the dining room down the quiet corridors of the palace.
"I don't think we're done discussing this," she said when they'd reached their chamber doors.
He nodded. "We're not. But, in the meantime, I'm sorry for last night. And, just so we're clear, I'm not sorry I kissed you."
She could feel her face growing hot as he looked down at her. Unable to hold his gaze, she looked away. "Well, we are married…."
She could feel the shift in the air between them immediately. She looked up at him, startled, wondering what she had said wrong. But Zuko stepped back, straightening his shoulders, his face a mask.
He bowed formally, not meeting her eye. "Goodnight, Katara."
She hadn't even whispered "goodnight" before he disappeared around the corner.
Zuko slammed his office door behind him, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. Stupid. He was so stupid. And he was a coward—but he couldn't help it. Lately, he couldn't look at Katara, let alone sleep beside her, without thinking about…other things. Things he shouldn't be thinking about. Especially if when he acted on these thoughts and feelings, she only reciprocated out of some twisted sense of marital duty. The thought made him sick. The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt Katara. With every passing day, he wanted her as his wife, in every sense, but if she didn't want him in return, he would die before he would touch her again, contractual obligations be damned.
Now he just needed to figure out how to be around her without going mad.
I know, I'm the worst at updating. Tbh I'm kinda stuck on some "filler" chapters, but I figured a short update is better than no update... I'll work on being more...timely. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for sticking around!