Disclaimer: Neither Avatar: the Last Airbender nor its characters belong to me, nor will they ever
They spent the rest of the week just being together. Zuko set aside all of his work and the tension that accompanied it, and even Katara found herself shedding the worries court had impressed upon her. It became less about meeting the expectations of others and more about setting expectations for themselves—they devoted their time to discovering each other anew. She was growing increasingly comfortable with their newfound physical intimacy, and he was finding it easier to talk to her about things he had never shared with anyone. They both remained somewhat guarded, but it was valued progress nonetheless.
But the week flew by too quickly, and soon they were back in the city. Iroh, Jien and her other ladies greeted them at the palace doors with deep bows as their luggage was carried in.
"Welcome home, niece and nephew. How was your trip?"
Katara smiled and kissed his cheek. "It was lovely, Uncle, thank you."
"My pleasure. Looks like some time away did you both some good," he said, his gaze focused on Zuko's hand at Katara's lower back. "Now, where is my present?"
"Present?" Katara looked at Zuko, who shrugged.
Iroh stroked his beard. "Hm, I suppose I'll have to wait for it...nine months or so. But 'Grandpa Iroh' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
Katara could feel her face flame, and Zuko practically growled, "Uncle-"
"Come, nephew. If you follow me to your office, I will go over what you've missed in your absence."
They had not even been home for five minutes and Zuko's face was already set in a scowl. Katara looked up at him in sympathy, fighting a sudden, innate urge to press her lips to his, to reach for his hand. But he just looked at her, his exasperation over his uncle's antics clear in his expression, before following Iroh down the hall.
With the men gone, she turned to Jien.
"How was your trip, my lady?"
Her face warm, she said, "It was nice, thank you. I was sorry we had to return.
Katara and Zuko settled back into life at the palace quickly. Fortunately, there were still a few weeks left until spring, when Zuko's court and council would return. For now, they had the palace to themselves, and Katara was enjoying spending time alone with Zuko.
They spent their mornings meditating and sparring together, which on more than one occasion ended with Katara pinned on her back and Zuko inside of her. They spent their afternoons riding in the countryside, walking through the market, or touring various schools around the city. With Zuko's approval and encouragement, and after discussing the educational needs of the city's children with various school administrators, teachers and even parents, Katara was working on a proposal for the renovation of existing schools as well as construction of a few new schools, and she spent her evenings doing research in her office. They even began making plans to tour other schools around the Fire Nation. Most nights, Zuko brought his own work to her office, and they read in silence together.
Iroh, sensing their growing closeness, had made himself conspicuously absent.
One morning, Katara found Zuko standing in front of the mirror in their bathroom.
Zuko finally noticed Katara's reflection. She was leaning against the bedpost in the bedroom, her arms folded across her chest, watching him quietly.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Cutting my hair," he stated, as if it wasn't obvious.
She smiled. "I can see that. But why are you cutting it yourself? I'm sure there's someone to do it for you."
He met her eyes in the mirror. "I've done it myself since I was banished." He shrugged. "And now I just don't trust others near me with a blade while my back is turned."
She crossed the room to stand behind him. "Do you trust me?"
He just nodded once and handed her the blade.
She looked up at his unruly mop of hair, her head angled, before she slapped the blade back onto the countertop. "Be right back."
Zuko waited as she went back into the bedroom and returned a moment later, dragging a low-sitting ottoman in behind her.
"What are you doing?"
"You're too tall," she stated. "I can't reach your hair when you're up there."
He scowled.
She motioned to the ottoman. "Sit."
He obeyed her order, relishing the feel of her fingers in his hair as she began working. "How short do you want it?"
"Just long enough to put in a topknot."
"Why do you keep it short?" she asked
"Why do you ask?"
She shrugged and cut another tuft off. "I don't know. In my…in the Water Tribe," she corrected herself; the Water Tribe wasn't her home anymore, "facial hair and a wolf-tail are signs of manhood and status. I noticed it's a similar custom here with topknots and long hair and facial hair, a coming-of-age sort of thing. But you don't…. I was just wondering."
He looked at her in the mirror, having an internal debate. Finally, after she seemed to accept the fact that he wouldn't answer her, he admitted, "I look like my father."
She looked up, catching his gaze in the mirror.
"I look like my father," he repeated quietly, "when I wear my hair long. A goatee…I look just like him."
"Oh," she breathed.
He broke their eye contact.
She continued her work in silence.
Finally, when she finished, he asked quietly, "Would you like it if it was long?"
She answered, "I like it short. As long as it's like this. I was not a fan of that silly ponytail you used to have."
He scowled. "My hair was not silly."
She smiled as she worked on pulling his hair into a topknot. "Whatever you say. I don't know why you would shave this, though. I know girls that would kill for your hair. It's so thick and shiny."
He was quiet a moment before he said, "The physicians had to shave it to treat—" He mentioned vaguely at his face. "After that, it was just easier to keep doing it."
Oh. Oh, spirits. She hadn't thought— "Zuko, I—"
"Don't." He stood, taking her hands in his and bringing them to his lips. "I don't think about it. Not anymore."
She swallowed and whispered, "I already told you, you're more than your scars."
His gaze softened and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before carrying her to their bed.
Spring had arrived, and the palace was once again bustling with activity and courtiers. Katara and Zuko were once again busy with council meetings and dinners with governors. Altogether, Karata found it tiring and missed the quiet winter had brought.
Zuko had just left on a two week trip to the Earth Kingdom, leaving her and Iroh in charge in his absence. His court had seemed surprised to see her still attending council meetings. It seemed some thought her presence had merely been for show. Many were reluctant to bring their proposals to her, and the ones who did did not seem to value her opinions very much.
Katara looked over the proposal in front of her again. "But what is this?" she asked, indicating one of the points listed.
One of the councilmen, who had been droning on about the need to cut taxes for the upper class in his province all morning, peered at the document. "Oh. That is of no concern, Fire Lady Katara. A mere formality—"
She looked up at him. "I did not ask if it was a concern of mine, I asked you to tell me what it is. Can you explain it or not?"
He tried to pry the document from her hands. "Maybe it would be best if we waited for the Fire Lord's return—"
"May I see your signet ring, Councilman Xu?"
The older man blinked, and some of the others behind him also adopted looks of confusion. "I-I'm sorry?"
"Your ring, Councilman. Your signet ring. The one the Fire Lord gave you to make these kinds of decisions."
"I-I'm sorry, Fire Lady Katara, but I don't have one."
"That's funny, because I do, and yet you insist upon acting as though you have this power, and I don't. And I'm sure the Fire Lord will find it just as amusing when I tell him you refused to let me review a document that you wish to be signed into law in his absence when he, personally, put me, the Fire Lady, in charge. So. I ask again. What is this line on your document?"
He swallowed and continued droning on, not answering her question until she cut him off and ended the council meeting for the day.
Katara had ignored the sharp pain in her stomach all day. It was easy to do when she also had a terrible headache and a swarm of Zuko's councilors buzzing in her ears. All they ever did was whine and propose stupid ideas. No wonder Zuko was always in such a foul mood. These old men were just self-absorbed vulturehawks.
"Jien, I'm not feeling well. Will you please get me some tea and bring it to my rooms?"
"Of course, my lady. Right away. Shall I fetch the physician as well?"
"No, that won't be necessary. I think I'll just turn in early."
She made her way towards her rooms. Zuko had only been gone a few days now, but she found that she was already looking forward to his return. Not that she was totally inept without him; she was just fine. But she had grown so accustomed to him being around all the time. It felt strange for him to be away, especially at night; she found their room and bed lonely without him.
She missed her husband.
She kicked off her slippers as she entered their bedroom and began removing the numerous pins from her hair, making her way towards the bathroom. She caught her reflection in the mirror and noticed her pale pallor. Maybe she was getting sick.
As she leaned over the sink to rinse her face, she felt something wet run down her legs. Confused, she lifted her skirt and ran her fingers along the inside of her thigh, and when she withdrew them, they were covered in blood. A lot of blood.
That was odd. It wasn't her time of month, and the usual pains in her stomach were sharper than they'd ever been.
With a start, she remembered she hadn't bled at all last month. She'd been so busy, she hadn't thought about it.
She lifted the hem of her skirt again and saw blood pooling at her feet.
The room began to spin, and she reached for the countertop to steady her.
Shouting for Jien was the last thing she remembered before her world went black.
Katara blinked against the light and reached to shield her eyes. "Zuko?" she called out quietly.
Jien stirred in a chair beside her bed. "Thank goodness you're awake, my lady. I'm sorry, but the Fire Lord has not yet returned from his trip."
"Oh…what…what happened?"
When Jien didn't respond immediately, Katara looked over at her. "Jien?"
The young woman bit her lip nervously and her eyes flitted between her hands in her lap and Katara's face. "I'm sorry, maybe I should go get General Iroh or your doctor—"
Katara suddenly remembered that she'd passed out…and all that blood….
"Jien, please, tell me…."
Jien nodded. "My lady, I'm sorry to tell you…you miscarried."
Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. Her heart began to race and her eyes searched Jien's face. "W-what?"
"I'm sorry, my lady. Did…did you know you were pregnant?"
She heard her question, but she couldn't find her voice. The most intense pain she had ever felt began to consume her entire being, ripping her apart from the inside. Her hands went to her stomach, searching for some sign of life, but there was none. She could feel no pull of blood but from her own. Instead, she felt her wounds, fresh and slowly trying to recover from her recent and apparent loss. How could she not have known she was pregnant? How could she not have felt it? And how could she not felt herself losing it—losing her own baby?
Thinking about her baby brought tears to her eyes and all her emotions poured out as she began to sob.