A/N: Still here. Been reading too much about Sigurd and Fafnir, apparently. Enjoy!

Unusual Circumstances

If it's not one thing it's another, his mama always used to say. Certainly, she would have thrived in Starfleet. McCoy had never been kept so busy by so many bizarre… things.

Radiation-protecting, happy-drug-spouting spores. That was certainly interesting. The intoxicating effects of the water of Psi 2000. Certainly not anything he wanted to repeat, along with the blood-sucking cloud. Rapid aging – in any other circumstances, that would have been a (dare he say) fascinating study.

"We push the boundaries of medicine and science alongside the boundaries of space every day," he quipped, mostly to himself. The rest of the landing party was otherwise occupied. Except Spock. Somehow it was always Spock and either himself or Kirk who were unaffected.

As it was, Kirk, Scotty, and a handful of their security and science personnel were all sprouting feathers whistling like birds.

"We push the boundaries of medicine and science alongside the boundaries of space every day," McCoy repeated, sinking to the ground. His tricorder clattered uselessly beside him as he put his hands on his face. "My God, Spock, we were only gone for 20 minutes!"

Spock observed the scene gravely, from the campsite with some kind of leathery animal roasting on a spit, to the various items used as utensils, to Mr. Scott's trailing plumage, and to Captain Kirk's warbling calls. He slowly set down their collection of edible roots.

"The animal must have wandered into camp while we were away," he deduced. "The captain would likely not have passed up such an opportunity."

McCoy moaned. "I tell them not to touch anything without scanning it first. I tell them not to eat anything. I tell them 'half an hour, Spock and I'll be back with some promising roots the tricorders picked up.' Do they wait? Of course not!"

One of the security personnel was fussing with his uniform. He finally tugged off his shirt revealing bright red feathers blooming across his arms and back. He ran around, flapping them.

"We should attempt to corral them and summon the Enterprise," Spock suggested.

The doctor sighed dramatically. "It's a losing battle. I have to throw in the towel. I've never seen anything like this, how could I-?" he gesticulated wildly. "Have seen anything like this? The captain's sprouting feathers!"

"I trust that-"

"Feathers, Spock, feathers!"

"Yes, Doctor, I can see that."

"And of course it's got something to do with whatever lizard they ate," McCoy continued. "Were they starving? No!"

"Perhaps it attacked them, and they were forced to confront it," Spock pointed out.

"And the logical thing to do was to eat it? With the two tricorders gone promising to bring back food?" He growled and crossed his arms. "Damn right they should be running around like chickens with their heads cut off."

Spock perhaps may have been alarmed by the imagery. He stiffened and resolutely continued studying the group.

"Damn birds," McCoy muttered. "Whistling, warbling, lizard-eating, impatient…"

Spock whistled.

The landing party's heads turned.

McCoy paled.

Spock whistled again and the flock stampeded.

"Jesus!" McCoy scrambled to his feet. In his rush he kicked the collection of roots Spock had set down and scattered them over the hillside. The bird-fellows dove at the greens and promptly began devouring them. It was a sight that no one needed to see.

And yet, as their bellies filled, the frantic chirping ceased. The strutting and confusion died down, and feathers drooped. As Spock and McCoy watched, gradually the feathers began to molt. Backs straightened and eyes cleared.

Kirk approached them. A feather was sticking out the back of his collar and a piece of root was caught between his teeth. He folded his arms behind his back.

"Gentlemen."

"Captain," they answered.

In the background, Scotty coughed up a piece of down.

"Your arrival was perfectly timed," Kirk continued, resolutely looking off to the side. "Thank you for bringing with you a solution. Now," he lowered his voice. "Do either of you happen to know what just occurred here?"

McCoy's mouth hung open. He tossed up his hands. "No. Don't ask me to write a report. In fact, don't ask me anything at all. Don't even make a comment. I'm done with this bamboozling tomfoolery."