Ticking Timebomb

Chapter 50 – I'd Rather See Your Star Explode

(The title of this chapter is the song accompanying most of this chapter. I listened to it on repeat writing most of the scenes, just to set the mood for you guys.)

A/N: Welcome to chapter 50. Get ready for a wild ride.

. . .

I regretted the words as soon as they spilled from my lips. It was a beautiful, uninhibited, outlandish mistake. One said in the heat of the moment. Words that I could never take back. I prayed he hadn't heard. I begged with every fiber of my being that he had not heard even a single syllable.

But even still I couldn't stop mumbling it. Over and over those words poured out, like a river from my tongue. I had kept quiet for too long. And this fight...this expelling of energy and anger and pain and emotion had been far too much too soon.

Don't get me wrong, I had needed it. I had needed that feeling of flesh smacking into flesh. The feeling of blood being spilled, the mindless need to feel something other than the anguish that had settled inside my chest.

I had been faced with three choices – let Hiei kill Caius and his sister, beat the shit out of each other...

Or the third much more fucked up and darker option – screw Hiei senseless.

And considering I had feelings for the fire demon I knew damn well that would not have ended in anything other than heartbreak.

Not that what I was doing now was any better. I might as well have screwed him and just gotten the embarrassment over with. This was far worse.

I broke away from him, swallowing the thick lump that had settled in my throat. He was staring at me with eyes as wide as saucers. But I couldn't say anything. No words came to explain what I had just done. So I dragged a hand under my nose to smear the leaking blood across my face and turned to Caius.

He had his sister held in his arms...and the way she looked...

He stepped up to me, wary of the fire demon's presence, but Hiei made no move to attack him again.

"What happened?" I asked.

He jerked his chin towards the cave and I ushered him inside. Yusuke followed...but Hiei...

Hiei remained outside, his energy burning bright like a beacon in the storm. I didn't know what was going through his mind...what damage I had caused this time. I don't think I really wanted to know. So I forged on ahead, aware that I would go looking for him once I was finished here.

I set out my bedroll so Caius could lay his sister down by the fire. The color was leached from her skin. It didn't take me long to assess what was going on. On her neck, close to where her shoulder met throat, was what appeared to be a seriously infected bite.

"He marked her," he snarled from between his teeth. "He marked her and now he's dead and her life force is fading..."

He turned to me, desperate, afraid, eyes wild. Far more emotion than he had ever shown in my presence. "Help me. Please. I'll cut my heart from my chest if that is what you want. But please, I beg you, help me."

"I thought you bastards were supposed to be super powerful," said Yusuke. He was leaning over the girl's body, inspecting her with a hand at his chin.

Caius growled at him and did not deign to reply, his eyes still boring into mine. But I had no idea why he had come here. Why he had risked so much to bring his dying sister to me when I had no way to save her. "Caius...I'm sorry...but I don't understand what you think I can do."

If the abilities he had in healing could not help her...how the hell was I supposed to?

"The power inside you...the thing that healed all your wounds after the whipping. I saw it! I saw it that night! You can help, I know you can!"

I shook my head sadly, "I'm sorry Caius...but it doesn't work that way." I hadn't realized he'd been watching that night. But it made sense, considering I'd nearly destroyed the entire dungeon.

I didn't have enough knowledge on demon markings to even begin to think up a plan. Hiei...I needed Hiei. I looked to Yusuke in askance, after all he was a demon too, but he just shrugged.

"Tell me what this mark is and what it's doing to her," I said to Caius.

He was still wild, almost frantic. I'm sure my fight with Hiei had only made things worse. But he barreled on ahead, so out of control compared to his usual demeanor. "A marking...usually used in mating but can be used to take control over another demon. It often pertains to sexual slavery – " here he stopped, his anger getting the best of him.

I clapped a hand to his shoulder, trying to be comforting and failing. "Hey, calm down. I can't do anything until I know what's going on."

He took a deep breath, smoke flowing in a steady stream from his flared nostrils as he exhaled. When he continued to speak I could have sworn his mouth was glowing like a bed of hot coals. "It was forced on her. There was no love behind this bonding, no respect, no reverence. It was pure slavery, for her body, for her soul. And now that he's dead...it's fail safe has come into play. And it is slowly killing her from the inside out."

"Okay...okay..." I felt just as frantic as him now. I had killed Konstantin to save the two of them. I had forsaken my mission and my friends because I had too much sympathy for Caius' situation.

But what was I supposed to do now? Had I done all that in vain?

...No, not in vain. But this wasn't the outcome I had been hoping for.

I knew some marks were permanent and others were not, because of the time Hiei had bitten me. The intent behind it had not been to keep me bound to him forever. But in Konstantin's case it was obvious he never wanted anyone else to have Caius' sister, including her own brother.

I looked down at the tiny girl, so different and yet so similar to her older sibling. "What's her name Caius?"

He swallowed thickly, eyes downcast, forked tongue flicking out to wet his lips. "Sayuri...her name is Sayuri."

"Sayuri..." I repeated, testing the syllables on my tongue. It was a pretty name. Fitting for such a pretty little girl.

I ran a hand through my hair, nervous now. It had almost been better when I hadn't known her name. I would feel bad enough if she died on me. And it didn't help that Caius was staring at me imploringly, as if I was his saving grace.

"You couldn't heal her?" I asked, a vain hope at best.

"If I could would I have risked coming here?"

"Where the hell is Hiei? He knows more about this shit than I do. I thought after that lovely little make-out session he would have gotten his panties out of a bunch," said Yusuke, staring towards the entrance of the cave.

"There was no making out!" I screeched.

"Okay, so intimate touching then," he leered.

I didn't find it funny. Maybe under normal circumstances I would have brushed his teasing off with a laugh. But not this time. Not after what I'd said. Not while I sat in here with a dying girl beside me and Hiei's bruises and blood covering my body.

I stood up, strolling away from Yusuke, away from Caius and the heat so similar to Hiei's that he exuded.

I needed to think and fast.

So I delved inside, to deep and dark places. And called forth my enemy turned ally turned ultimate pain in my ass.

"What now?" the god snapped.

"I need your help," I replied.

"It is not good enough that I play your watchdog while you sleep?"

I had been hiding the fact Chronos had made her grand entrance back into my life a few days after the battle with Konstantin. I hadn't wanted to worry Yusuke. And Hiei and I hadn't been on speaking terms. I wasn't sure if we even were now. So, I kept quiet. She hadn't come to help me after all. She never really did unless it was convenient for her. And she hadn't spoken to me much anyway, other than to heckle me about one thing or another, but that was not unusual.

What was unusual was the fact she seemed weaker than I remembered. The boom of her voice within my mind had dimmed to a dull roar. The glow she gave off had waned to a waxy white instead of its usual vibrant gold.

I hadn't asked what had changed and she had not offered up an explanation, as par the course with us. But now, I worried this change in her would put me at a disadvantage. If I could no longer call on Chronos when I was in dire need...what did that mean for me? What did that mean when it came time to fight Hideki?

I already knew I would die. There was no avoiding that. But I had promised Hiei I would take Hideki with me and I did not plan to renege on that promise. It was the least I could do after all the trouble I had put everyone through...

"I don't have time for your bullshit. Will you help me or not?"

"With the dragon child? I'm afraid I cannot. And you should be considering this an opportunity anyway."

I stopped, at first not understanding what she'd meant. But it didn't take me long to realize. "You're disgusting. The girl's dying!"

"Exactly," she laughed.

I pulled back, leaving Chronos in the recesses of my mind or wherever the hell it was she went when the god wasn't bothering me. She wasn't going to be of any help, that much was obvious. So what now?

I turned back to Caius and Yusuke. My torturer turned – dare I think it? - friend, was knelt beside his sister, brushing her short strands of hair from her forehead. He sang softly under his breath in a language I did not understand but the words flowed off his tongue in a beautiful cadence.

The song sounded like a death lament. And it made my heart break for him.

I sunk down beside him, the cave having fallen quiet. Even Yusuke did not dare speak. With each moment that passed listening to Caius sign softly to his sister I felt a new fury roar through my stomach – a fury for Konstantin and what he'd done, dead as he was. And a fury for the fact that I was once again useless.

I rose from my resting place beside Caius and made for the cave's entrance.

"Where are you going?" Yusuke called.

"I'm going to look for Hiei."

I didn't give him time to try and talk me out of it. I wasn't ready to face the fire demon and I was sure he wanted nothing to do with me either, but I didn't know what else to do. Perhaps there was no way to save Sayuri...but I had to try. And if that meant pulling up my big girl panties and facing the aftermath of my stupid mouth once again running away with itself, then so be it.

With that thought in mind I raced out into the storm once more.

Hiei was not where I had left him and through the raging winds and rain, I could not see very far in front of my face. But I forged on, heading for the treeline I could see not far in the distance. I was sure he would be there. He had a thing for hiding out in trees after all.

After spending a good half an hour checking the limbs of every tree I passed I realized the little bastard was hiding his energy. I called his name but the wind carried my voice away.

As a last resort I pushed my energy outwards, reaching for that tie that bound me to him. The giant red thread that spanned between us appeared...and I saw that it had frayed. My eyes narrowed at the sight...but I did not have the time to dwell on it.

I followed the red thread, twisting and turning through the trees. Sometime later it stopped and shot upwards. I paused at the base of the tree and took a deep breath.

When I looked up it was to see something I had not quite expected.

Hiei was there alright...but the way he was hunched over the branch, hair soaked and plastered to his face, made me think twice about calling out to him.

He hadn't noticed me. Odd for him. Deadly even, if it had been anyone else. So I hid my energy, drawing it back until it was nearly nonexistent.

The rain and wind hid my scent as well as any noise I might make, so I shifted my position so I could get a better view while staying out of his line of sight. I didn't really have time to be spying on him...my original reason for coming to find him still within the forefront of my mind...but I just couldn't help myself.

The leaves that had managed to cling to the branches did little to shield him from the storm. And yet he did not move, as immobile as a statue. He stared at nothing, his fingers pushed through the sopping wet strands of his fringe.

After a few long moments I couldn't bear it anymore. So I stepped out of my cover and finally shouted up to him, "You'll catch a cold if you stay out here."

And without pause, because he'd somehow known I was here the entire time, he answered, "Demons do not get sick like humans."

But even with his reply, the utter lack of shock at my presence, he still did not move. The look in his eye never changed.

It seemed I had finally broken Jaganshi Hiei.

"I need your help," I said.

The only reaction this drew was a tightening of his jaw. "No," he replied.

"I haven't even told you with what yet."

"I don't care."

"Hiei, please –"

He cut me off with a slice of his arm through the air, droplets of rain went flying. Anger replaced the crazed look within his eyes. His fallback whenever he felt trapped or threatened. "I do not care," he growled. "I do not give a damn what you think you could possibly need from me! Not now. Not ever!"

Was this about what I'd said? Or just his anger over Caius? "Listen...if this is about earlier...I didn't mean it. It just slipped out."

He began to laugh manically at that. It picked up ferocity and reached a crescendo when he turned to punch the trunk of the tree. It cracked beneath the force, the top half of the tree breaking and falling to the forest floor. It missed crushing me by mere inches.

While I was distracted by the very large piece of kindling nearly killing me, I did not notice when he jumped from his perch. Not until he began to circle me, arms at his sides, hands clenched into tight fists.

I stood there defensively, ready to fight him again if I had to, but hoping it would not come to that.

"Say it again," he hissed.

My eyes followed him, wary. "Say what?"

"Say it again!"

"I don't know what you're asking!" I shouted. A lie, it was a lie. I knew and I was denying it.

"You know," he said, pointing a finger straight at my lying face. "Say it again...if it is so true that you did not mean it. That they are just petty words to you."

For the first time in a long while the look in his eyes made me feel...afraid. Afraid of not only him and what he might do, but also what could happen should I make a single misstep here.

When I refused to answer, any kind of words I might have spoken lodged in the back of my throat, he leapt at me, a blur through the rain. I ended up pinned to the same tree he had so easily broken in half.

Up close and personal now I realized the look in his eyes was not so much crazed as it was...desperate...horrified even. As if whatever I said next would save him or push him off the edge of some precipice.

I was ashamed, but the thought of Caius and his sister completely fled my mind with that look. I was stunned into utter silence, my mouth hanging open, heart racing beneath my breast. The feeling of the pelting rain and wind faded beneath his heat.

"Say it!" he shouted again. "Say it again!" he repeated, shaking me, demanding an answer I just could not give.

His hands burned, welting the skin of my upper arms. But even with the abuse I saw this for what it truly was – a tragedy of the most stunning kind.

Because I had meant what I'd said.

But in order to fix what I had done...I would have to once again lie...pretend that I had said it by mistake.

...Who was I trying to kid?

It hadn't been a fucking mistake. It had just happened at the wrong time...the wrong place. The only mistake was the fact I had not waited.

But those words...those three such simple words, almost meaningless alone...but together...

"SAY IT!" he roared.

Struck from my stupor, I jerked beneath his grip and mumbled brokenly, "...I-I love you."

"Again!" he shouted.

"...I love you," I said, a bit louder than before.

"Again!"

And again I repeated those words, becoming more sick to my stomach with each utterance. "I love you."

I slammed my eyes closed, expecting for him to ask me to say it again and again and again until I had no more voice, until I was on my knees begging him for any kind of forgiveness he was willing to give.

But his voice cracked and that sound shook me to the core. "Again..." he pleaded.

"I love you!" I screamed.

I was greeted with utter silence. His hands tightened, his grip bruising. He shook me one last time, as if he could knock some sense into me that way. And then a pair of ravenous lips descended upon my own – devouring me, taking my breath away, stealing any sense of self preservation I had left.

It was as if by instinct that my hands found their way into his hair, gripping, pulling, threading through the wet strands as if I were grabbing onto a lifeline. His hands fled my arms to grip me around the waist and pull me flush against him, heat against heat, racing heart against pulsing demonic core. His fingers dug into my hips, thumbs brushing against the sensitive flesh above my pelvis.

Our feet squelched in mud and the rotted debris of the forest's underbrush as I pushed back, fighting him for dominance, all the while trying to draw infinitely closer to him, as if I could close that minute bit of space that was still there between our bodies.

The kiss was all teeth and chapped rough lips and bites and tongue. I didn't know where I ended and he began. And in between, when we were forced to breathe, he would mumble against my lips, "Liar..." over and over until I swallowed the words and made them disappear as if they had never existed in the first place.

And then he would press our lips together again and again until all I could taste was Hiei and my convoluted mind could not think of a single goddamn thing I would rather taste ever again.

When he drew back for the final time, our foreheads touching, rain slicked and hair entangled, I was left barren. I couldn't look away from the smoldering, lust filled gaze that had settled within his eyes. Such a massive difference from only minutes before. It felt like an eternity had passed. Even while it seemed time had simply just stopped for us completely.

And oh how I wished it could. That I could preserve this single moment until the ends of the earth and beyond. Press it between the pages of my life and look back on it fondly for the rest of my days.

Because it had changed everything. And nothing.

"Again," he spoke with kiss reddened lips, full and swollen and beautiful.

I obliged, repeating, once again, "I love you."

He took a shuddering breath and my heart thudded against my chest – once, twice. "Good," he said. "Now erase those words from your very existence. And never speak them to me again."

He broke away from me. And the harshness of the storm came crashing back down upon me. It left me breathless, but not in quite the same way his words had.

I floundered for words of my own, for even a simple breath of air, to just say something. But what was there to say? I could see clear as day that he knew I hadn't lied...and he didn't care.

Because my feelings were an inconvenience to him.

We stood in the rain, mere inches apart, but the distance was so great it felt as if an entire ocean spanned between us.

I nodded, a single firm jerk of my head. And then with more strength than I thought I had left I said, "Don't think any less of me."

I waited for a biting retort. The proverbial nail in the coffin. But it never came. He just took a step away from me...and then another...and another until it was feet between us instead of inches.

I don't think I had ever felt so cold.

"Go back to Yusuke," he said, eyes now downcast, unable to look at me. The words lacked malice but they hit me like a physical blow anyway.

That was when I remembered Caius and his dying sister. And to add to my anguish, I now felt guilt of an unknown magnitude. How could I leave them there...only to end up like this?

Having been dismissed...and having lost the willpower to speak another syllable let alone stay in his presence, I began to walk away, arms wrapped tightly around myself.

I almost missed his next words...but I was glad I hadn't. "A mating mark can be overridden if another bite with strong enough energy is given."

I paused, my back to him, and glanced at him over my shoulder. "Thank you," I mouthed. Because that simple thing must have taken his pride down a notch. And that small bit of kindness should not be ignored.

He just nodded in acknowledgment, the emotion in his eyes unreadable, but undeniably there. It made my heart constrict in my chest.

I went on ahead, leaving him behind, running as fast as the rain and mud would allow me. When I arrived back at the cave it was to find Yusuke waiting at its mouth.

"What the hell happened to you?" was his way of greeting me.

"Nothing," I mumbled. I hid my emotions, hid behind that imaginary mask I always wore and carried close to my chest. I walled Yusuke out – walled it all out.

I stalked passed my friend, ignoring the concerned look he shot me. "Did you at least find Hiei?" he asked.

"Yeah..." I said, "I found him."

"Well? Was he able to help?" He turned back to the cave's entrance, frowning. "Where is he?"

I shrugged, "He'll come back when he wants to."

With hurried steps I rushed back to Caius' side. Little had changed in my absence, except Caius had gathered up his sister and held her back to his chest. He cradled her head against one of his broad shoulders, golden eyes molten pools as he stared at me with far more hope than I deserved.

"Did you know a marking could be exchanged for another more powerful one?" I asked him.

He frowned, "Yes. I knew."

"And you acted as if you didn't."

"I had hoped there was another way...she has spent years of her life a slave."

"There is no other way," I ground out. "Why did you come here, really?"

He stared up at me through thick lashes, eyes not holding a shred of remorse or guilt. "If a woman from the future truly had no other method...than I had planned to force one of your hands."

So he'd figured it out?! I know I had not exactly been inconspicuous, but I hadn't made it obvious either. How the hell...?

Think about that later. That's the least of my problems right now.

"You wanted one of us to mark her?!" I scoffed, "Why not yourself?"

He shook his head sadly, "I can't. I am her brother. Our energies would reject each other, as it is with our breed."

So he'd come...with the hope either Hiei or Yusuke would take his sister as their pet. The thought nearly made me sick. Couldn't he have found someone else?!

But then the realization that Caius had no one else dawned on me. He was supposed to be the last of his kind. His family having been hunted – murdered – for their hearts. He had not a single person in this world that would not sell him or Sayuri to the highest bidder.

"You're real fuckin' funny man. But none of us are gonna bite your little sis."

Caius replied to Yusuke...but all the while his eyes remained trained on me. "No...not you. Not the hiyoukai either." He pointed a finger straight at me. "You. You must be the one."

I laughed, the sound hollow, even to my own ears. "Me? I'm no demon."

"You do not have to be. The rules don't apply to someone with your abilities."

I stared at him stunned, my eyes darting towards Yusuke to see he was wearing a similar expression. He gaped at me, "You aren't thinking about doing that, are you?!"

I wanted to say no. I really did. But...

"I don't know what to do," I said to Caius. "Am I even powerful enough?"

"I know you are," Caius replied, the molten gold of his eyes shining with confidence.

That look made me uncomfortable. I could count on one hand the amount of people who trusted me. And the fact Caius had an unwavering surety in my abilities made me nervous.

I knelt beside him and his sister, trying to get a closer look at the bite upon her neck. Up close it looked even worse – blackened, making her veins dark, as if filled with poison. How much pain these two must have suffered...and now this.

"Kas, think about what you're doing," I heard Yusuke as if he were far away.

"Will it be permanent?" I asked.

Caius eyed me, almost as if he were afraid I'd refuse if he told me the truth. "If luck is on your side, Sayuri will find a powerful suitor in her future willing to combat your claim."

"And if not?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"You will be...connected...to her until one of you dies."

I nodded, still eyeing that mark on her neck. It was a death sentence. How could anyone want that? What were the benefits for ones that accepted it willingly?

...Why did I even care?

"How – " I cleared my throat, nerves choking me. "How do I...do it?"

"Oh christ," I heard Yusuke lament. "I can't watch this."

"What, you have a weak stomach all of a sudden?" I snapped at him.

"Yeah, a weak stomach for bullshit!"

"What about this is bullshit?!"

His face screwed up angrily. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes, trying to regain his composure. "If I'm telling you to think this through, shouldn't you?"

"It's her life Yusuke!" I said. "What's there to think about?"

"Oh, I don't know..." he flapped his arms around in frustration. "Maybe the fact you could be permanently attached to her! You don't even know her!"

I shrugged, "I don't see that as an issue."

"I think your snit-fit with Hiei is making you stupid," he said. "Where is that bastard? I'm going to go get him. Don't do anything stupid until I come back."

I raised an eyebrow at his retreating back. And then turned back to Caius.

Each minute that passed Sayuri was looking worse. I wouldn't be able to wait for Yusuke. It was now or never. And my conscience wouldn't allow me to let the girl die when I could do something about it.

Caius seemed to think I was capable of saving her. It was time I had that same confidence in myself.

I had no idea what I was doing. I wished I hadn't skimmed through my books on demons half drunk, maybe I would have been more useful. I knew I would have to break skin...at the very least.

I reached for Sayuri, leaning over her prone body, drawing in close to Caius. He smelled rather nice, I realized. Like warmth...if that made sense.

I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve. "Okay, let's do this."

"You must bite her in the same spot as Konstantin. Push your energy out, into Sayuri through where you are joined. It will act on instinct."

I couldn't look him in the eye, but I nodded. It was now or never.

It was as I sunk my teeth into Sayuri's neck with a single ferocious bite that Yusuke returned with Hiei in tow. I heard Yusuke shout at me to stop...but it was too late.

I pushed my energy towards the wound, my mouth flooding with bitter tasting blood. It was hot...too hot in fact. It burned not unlike alcohol as I was forced to swallow repeatedly, the liquid thick and viscous.

I didn't hate the taste...

Whatever fucked up thing that meant about me.

It was an odd feeling – my energy traveling through my blood, saliva – and into Sayuri. I could sense the ball of Konstantin's energy there, clustered close to her core, attached to a piece of her soul. It was that same sickening mustard yellow color.

As Caius had said, my energy reacted by instinct after sensing my intentions. It wrapped itself around Konstantin's vicious energy, its blinding strength forcing his out, out, out...until...

I felt a click, a connection, a binding contract between two people even though it was unwilling and unwanted. I entered Sayuri's mind and she mine. I walked through her memories, her dreams, and listened to her broken and beautiful thoughts.

Her tentative touch on my soul had me jerking back violently. Blood came with me, covering my mouth, dribbling down my chin. It poured in a steady stream down Sayuri's neck, staining her clothing.

My ears were ringing, my vision blurred in and out of focus. What the hell had I just done?

I heard Caius breathe a releaved, "thank you." But I couldn't speak. I scrambled away from the both of them, running past Yusuke and Hiei. I heard the former swear loudly.

But Hiei...

He'd just been standing there, eyes wide but staring at nothing, unseeing.

Neither one of them stopped me. And I ran until my legs could no longer carry me. Through the small expanse of woodlands, out into the open, breaking free. Through the storm I almost missed where land ended and open air began.

I slid to a halt, my foot flying over the edge of a cliff, before I scrabbled my way back on hand and knee. My heart raced in my chest. I'd almost just died!

But the longer I sat there, staring over that open expanse, the bottom a mere pinprick...

The more I wished that I had.

. . .

A/N: Christ, okay. Kasumi is nuts. And Hiei is a stubborn dick. But we all knew that. This all ties into the plot, I promise! Who guessed she told him she loved him?!

I spent a lot of time on this chapter, read it over and over until I was satisfied with it. This is chapter 50 people. We are on the home stretch of the end of this story. I can't tell you how many chapters are left (I have a general idea, but it could easily change) but I hope you will all stick around till the end. Thank you for reading.