Ticking Timebomb

Chapter 52 – Reaching Out

A/N: This chapter contains mature content of the sexual variety, if this makes you uncomfortable, please don't read. Thanks.

Want to remind everyone to check out my Tumblr page for all the art that has been amassed for this fic! I've added several new ones in the past few months and the artists deserve tons of love!

. . .

Hiei in his infinite stubbornness refused to sleep that first night. I would catch his eyes drooping from time to time, but he never fully fell asleep. He never had in my presence, and even injured, he wasn't about to start now.

So I chose not to sleep either, knowing it would be even less likely that he'd rest if I did. I was still sick, wounded, and aching. And yet I don't think I could have slept even if I had wanted to. I kept imaging Hiei as a pancake at the bottom of the ravine – broken...dead...gone. I hated that image. I hated even more that he was acting so nonchalant about it. As if jumping had been no skin off his nose at all. As if he'd merely done it on a whim.

I was still so angry that I couldn't even speak to him. And he was fine with that. He spent his time staring into the fire, eyes stuck in a permanent sleepy haze.

I was tempted to knock him out just so he would fucking sleep already. I didn't dare try to move him yet and if he did not rest soon his wounds would not start to heal. I had seen it with my own eyes a time or two before, with all of them, not just Hiei. They would get wounded and after a solid twenty-four hours of rest their injuries would end up far less severe.

As we sat in silence, I wondered what had happened to Yusuke. Hoping that he was at least safe. And maybe even looking for a way to get down to the bottom of the ravine. He could deal with Hiei then. I was on the end of a very short rope as it was.

As another day waned into night, the storm still raging, I finally blew my stack. "Just sleep already!" I screamed.

He glared at me, lips curling into a sneer. He said nothing, only averted his eyes to watch the veritable waterfall of rain falling from the den's entrance.

I clenched my hands, nails digging into my palms. It wouldn't do me any good to flip out. But I was growing tired of the silent treatment (even though it was kind of self-inflicted). And I was even more fed up with his male pride.

"Are you serious? You're going to completely ignore me?"

"Che! Were you not the one who said you preferred when I did not speak?"

I put my tongue in my cheek, realizing he was acting like a petulant child. If that was how he wanted to act I was more than happy to treat him that way. "Would you like me to go get you a blanket and a bottle, you overgrown baby?"

Pure rage blossomed across his features, the most emotion he'd shown in nearly a day. I grinned viciously at that look. Hiei hated being insulted, but if that's what it took to get him to listen to me then so be it.

Thunder cracked outside, the sound rumbling through the earth, shaking the ground. Or maybe that was just me, shaking in anger. Anger at myself and him. But mostly myself. I wanted whatever this was between us to just...go away. I knew it wasn't that easy...would never be that easy.

I'd told him how I felt. Mumbled it into his neck like some lovesick idiot. And yet, here we were, no different than before, just a little more wounded – emotionally and physically.

I have never needed a drink more in my life than now. The craving was almost impossible to ignore.

I sighed, pushing my grubby hair out of my face. "Please, Hiei...just sleep. You need it."

"Don't presume to know what I need."

I threw my hands in the air, frustrated. "You're impossible!"

"Hn," he grunted and then once again averted his gaze, as if he couldn't bare to look at me for too long.

I stood up, intent on getting in his face, and marched over to him. But I was stopped dead in my tracks by the look he pinned me with the second I rose to my feet. A fire burned behind his eyes, bright and blazing, the red turned molten.

"If you come near me now you'll regret it," he said, voice dark...a rumble just like thunder.

I narrowed my eyes and something in me...just...snapped.

I started to speak, words pouring out like the rain just feet from us. "When Hideki returned...something deep inside me died. I used to have a spine. I used to be able to stand on my own two feet."

I didn't give Hiei a chance to interrupt me or tell me for the millionth time how stupid I was. Because I wasn't stupid. I did stupid shit, sure, but I was fully aware of how dumb I was being. A stupid person has no idea they're being a moron.

"But you wanna know something?" I cast that heated look aside, stepping up to him with little care for my well-being. "Through all this shit I found out who I really was. I'm not that weak little girl anymore. I never will be again."

I crouched down so I was face to face with him, watching as those molten pools swam with a sudden intensity I'd never seen on his face before. "I love you," I said. Sure and certain and true. "It wasn't a lie. And I can't pretend that I don't feel that way. I don't want to."

His entire face changed with those words. His heated gaze roved over me, looking for the lie, waiting for the blow that would never come.

It was time I found that spine I once had. The courageous heart that Hideki had stolen from me. The drive that forced my every step when I was lost without my sister. Hiei might never believe that I loved him, but that did not mean I would ever stop telling him. I'd tell him every minute of every day if that is what it took. I wanted him to know. I needed him to know. Even if he never loved me back...even if he didn't want me.

It was with those thoughts alone that my anger melted like ice. The mask I wore once in pride, fell away. And for a moment, the woman I was beneath shined through.

"I love you," I repeated. "And no amount of insults, or silent treatments, or attitude from you is going to change that. Hate me if you want. Tell me to forget it."

I leaned into him, sure my own gaze was swimming with some kind of emotion that was increasingly making him more uncomfortable. But it was time to push that comfort zone of his, to break it even. "I'll never be able to. Even if I live through all this shit. I will always love you."

"You speak madness," he hissed. "Your mind is confused. The bond has affected you. Made you think that way."

I placed my palm against his cheek, causing him to flinch, but I followed. He couldn't escape this. I wouldn't let him. "No it hasn't. Do you think I asked for this? To fall in love with a man that hates me? No...it wasn't the bond. It was you. It's been you since day one."

A breath fell between us, his ragged and broken, mine bated. I was steadier than I had ever been. He frustrated me beyond belief. He pushed my boundaries and drove me to the limits of my sanity. But I loved him. Every broken, battered, blackened but stunning piece of him.

"You could burn my entire body to ash Hiei..." I breathed, "And my soul would still go on loving you."

I had just bared the rawest parts of myself to him. My very heart. I didn't expect a response. Didn't need one, if I were honest. I just needed him to know that I wasn't lying. I had never been a liar, I didn't want to start now...would not start now. Not when something so important was at stake.

I knew it wasn't the bond that had affected my choice. For it was my choice and mine alone. I had started to fall for him long before I'd known we were tied by destiny. And in the grand scheme of things...was that so bad? There could have been far worse options – far worse people – for me to be bound to.

I took a breath, swallowing passed the lump in my throat. "I would walk to the ends of the earth for you. And I know that's insane –"

"Stop. Enough," he spoke, voice soft, lacking the bite it had before. Stopping me from embarrassing myself further.

He turned from me, letting his fringe hide his eyes – the most expressive part of him. "I've spent months trying to keep you from my mind. But you always returned with a vengeance."

I rocked back on the balls of my feet, letting my hand fall away from his cheek. I hadn't expected him to admit something in return. And I didn't want him to feel as if I pushed him to that point. I was sure he resented me enough as it was, for a lot of things. I didn't want him to resent this moment too.

"You don't have to say anything," I mumbled, "It's okay."

"It isn't," he snarled. "After all this time..." he stopped there, as if the words just wouldn't come.

"After all this time," he began again, "You still believe I harbor hatred for you?"

"Perhaps you didn't before...but now..." I said, voice soft, as if I were to speak too loud I'd break whatever spell the both of us had fallen under.

"I hate the things you've done. Not you," he growled. "Never you."

"But –"

His head shot up, so sudden it caused me to fall backwards onto my ass. He followed me, pressing in close, his uninjured arm wrapping around my waist. I didn't even dare breathe, let alone move, in fear I would hurt him.

He chuckled low in his throat. "I am not a creature made of glass," he said. "You cannot hurt me."

"But...your arm –"

He cut me off again, his hand tightening against my side, almost painful but not quite. "Stop talking."

"No! I'm seriously concerned for your well-being and –" I never got to finish whatever it was I was going to say. And later on I wouldn't remember anyway.

Hiei kissed me, at first just light pressure, my top lip trapped between both of his. I felt my heart begin to race in my chest, just as it always did whenever I was with him. I took a shuddering breath in through my nose and let my eyes fall closed.

He broke away for but a second, before dipping to kiss me more fully, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. The kiss turned long, deep and languid, full of unspoken emotion. It made heat travel straight down to my toes. His breaths filled my lungs and mine his and I feared if we were to separate now that things would just go back to how they were before.

Every fiber of my being refuted that, refused to believe that it could. Because I wanted this – I wanted him. And it was nonsensical and insane and all kinds of heartbreaking. Because I had a solid guess what my future entailed. And I didn't know how I was going to walk to my death...and leave this man behind.

Hiei's hand fled my waist, deft fingers traveling to the buttons holding my jeans together. I didn't stop him as he tugged at the waistband, helping him shuck the pants and toss them aside.

He broke away from me only long enough to tug off his own. Knelt on the ground before me, he wore no underwear, and for the first time I looked at Hiei in all his glory. The man I loved, the only person I had ever bared myself to so completely.

He was covered in scars. They did nothing to take away from his magnificence. And maybe I was biased and that sounded corny even to me. But it was true.

I leaned forward to drag a finger down the deep line from stomach to back where I had stitched him back together. Just the night before I had cleaned those scars and now I wished only to trace them with my lips and tongue.

Each beat of my heart felt like it was trying to flee from my chest, as if it were a caged bird begging to be free. I swallowed hard, my teeth sinking into my lower lip.

I didn't care that we were in some dirty cave. Didn't care that less than twenty-four hours ago he'd been angry enough with me to flee from my presence. I put all the stupid mistakes I'd made recently on the backburner. I forgot about Sayuri and Caius and my impending future.

Maybe that made me selfish.

Maybe it didn't.

But I had eyes for only one thing...one person...one man. And he was all that mattered to me right now.

His hands set me aflame. The feeling of skin on skin, sweat soaked and heated and scarred. It made me feel whole...complete...in ways I never thought I needed.

He dragged a single hand up my side, fingers catching in my sports bra. When I lifted my arms to the ceiling, he pulled it up over my head. The cold air made me tremble but the shiver that ran down my spine was caused by the appreciative look Hiei cast me, before hooking his fingers into my final piece of clothing.

When the last barrier was removed, my underwear falling into the pile of cloth on the ground, he rested back against the wall, crooking a finger at me. I followed, settling in his lap, being filled by Hiei in a single roll of my hips. I braced myself against the wall with one hand and rocked against him.

His eyes dipped closed, his left hand gripping my waist, guiding me as I rode him slow and steady. I rose and fell with each of his breaths, my forehead pressed against his, my free hand buried in the hair at the nape of his neck.

During the entire encounter I made sure to be mindful of his wounds, even as I lost myself within each brush of his hand and taste of his lips. Even as my body was lit aflame with his heat and the friction and just the feeling of him.

This is not how I thought my night was meant to go. I figured we would fight and continue down the same horrid path we'd been stuck on for months.

But just as Hiei had said, I must make the effort to walk the right path for once.

And perhaps this one wasn't it, maybe this would end up being a mistake. But for now, in this moment, in this one glorious piece of time it felt right. Far more right than it ever had with anyone else.

The sex was slow and gentle, something I wasn't used to. No one had touched me this way before, taken care of me in such a way. I was a veteran of hot and heavy and painful, not...not this. My first time hadn't even been like this...

I guess I should have realized how much of a bastard Hideki was then.

Those long past thoughts fell away, forever to be purged from my mind. Hiei's breaths mingled with my own, soft pants falling past both our lips. Each second that passed the heat within the cave rose, both of us were soaked in sweat, and I knew it was from him. A wild fire raged in his veins and he had shown that to be true again and again.

I had never considered that sex with Hiei would end up feeling like I was standing too close to a bonfire.

His hand at my hip burned, the skin there beginning to blister. I hissed in pain but he just leaned up to kiss me, distracting me, driving me crazy with each slide of his lips against my own.

I could feel the orgasm building, my legs shaking, body starting to tremble. He broke away from me, throwing his head back against the dirt wall of the den. His eyes were screwed shut, his mouth open and releasing ragged breaths. I watched as beads of sweat ran in rivulets down his chest.

His burning hand broke away from my waist, moving up to grasp my hair, holding me closer. "Don't be afraid," he said on a husky whisper, swooping up to brush against my lips once more.

I never got the chance to ask what he meant. But I figured it out soon enough.

I felt a great building of energy, the power that suddenly flooded his veins and spread outward. His golden aura covered every inch of his skin, bathing me in its light.

"Come for me, Kasumi," he growled against my lips.

And those simple words alone, as if he'd spoken an unbreakable command, made me tighten around him. My own energy rose up to greet his, unbidden, as if by instinct alone. It frightened me for a reason I didn't understand, but Hiei's eyes had opened...and his gaze swallowed me whole.

My orgasm hit me hard, had me throwing my head back, a long drawn out moan falling from between my lips. It was lewd and sexy and better than anything I'd ever felt before. Hiei had just played my body like it was an instrument made only for his hands.

The energy surrounding us built up and up until it reached a peak...and fell over. Hiei came along with me, falling over the edge, burying his face in my chest to hide his expression. He came with a snarl, vicious and possessive and intense. The bright lights of our power mingling to create a stunning display of color.

In the aftermath, as our combined energies fell away, the air charged with the aftereffects, we sat in silence. I didn't know what to do...or what to say. All I could do was sit in Hiei's lap, with him still buried deep inside me, and catch my breath.

His hand fell from my hair like a stone dropped into a pond. It took me a few moments to realize the little bastard had finally fallen asleep.

A laugh built in my chest and exploded through my mouth. Well...that was one way to get him to rest, I supposed.

I shifted off of him, being careful that he didn't fall face first into the ground. I left him resting against the wall, leaving him only to feed the fire more kindling. When I returned, I pulled him into my lap, his head resting against my thigh.

He never stirred, even when I began to run my hands through his hair. A rhythmic motion that soon had me drifting on the edge of sleep along with him.

I knew come morning this could be cast to the wind as a bout of weakness on his part. I steeled myself for that reality, sleepy eyes watching his bare chest rise and fall with each breath.

But I'd always known loving a man like Hiei wouldn't end well for me. Even before I'd realized that I was in love with him in the first place.

He wasn't perfect. He was more than rough around the edges and sometimes he was downright nasty. It had never changed how I felt.

And it never would.

. . .

When I awoke the next morning it was to find a fire that had died to embers and my lap devoid of a certain someone. I felt my heart plummet towards my stomach, even though I had tried to mentally prepare for this the night before.

What forced me to rise was the fact he was still injured and that was more worrisome than him bailing on me.

I dragged my dirty clothing on, pulling the sports bra over my head, the mud encrusted pants over my legs. In this time I realized the storm outside had stopped raging, the rain a forgotten memory.

There was never any sun in the Makai, but the outside world had brightened just a bit.

I noticed belatedly that Hiei's pants, still covered in dried mud, were left resting on the ground. They remained in the same spot they'd been abandoned the night before. Which led me to wonder where the hell he'd gone as nude as the day he'd come into the world.

I went running outside, looking around wildly for the fire demon. But there had been no need for panic.

He hadn't gone far. He stood out in the open, totally naked as I had suspected, flexing his once broken arm. The wound looked much better than it had the night before. It was shocking, I had figured it would take at least a week for his demonic aura to heal a wound that severe. A normal person it would have taken surgery and months of recovery.

"What are you doing?" I called.

"It is well enough for us to escape this wretched hole," he said, without turning to look at me. "The sex helped," he added, as if it were an afterthought.

This caused me to pause, a sickening feeling filling my stomach. "Are you telling me you used me last night?"

He dropped his arm. His back still to me, stiff as stone. "It is just a fact. The extra energy expelled helped with the healing process."

"That isn't what I asked," I snapped.

I felt anger building in my chest, covering up the hurt that had settled there, because I couldn't let this bastard hurt me. Not again. Not after what I'd said and done.

To think, he'd stoop low enough to have sex with me just so he could steal my goddamned energy. I knew he could be a bastard, but I had no clue he was this cruel.

"You goddamned bastard –" I began, only to be interrupted when he flickered from view. He reappeared in front of me, the force of his speed blowing the hair around my face.

He was close enough that I could feel his body heat and his nakedness made a blush spread from my chest up to my cheeks. He cocked an eyebrow at me, his lips quirking up into a smirk. "Bashful all of a sudden?" he asked, smug.

I opened my mouth to refute him and to perhaps rip him a new asshole, but he dipped his head, swallowing the words. The kiss was short but heated and only made my blush grow until my entire face was beat red.

"I didn't use you Kasumi," he said, "It was just an added benefit."

I swallowed hard, successfully cowed. "You don't regret it then?"

His sudden silence had my stomach dropping once more. I shouldn't care so much. I had told myself only hours ago that I wouldn't be upset over this. But that had been before he'd slept with me. Before he'd touched me far more tender than any other man before him.

"What do you think?" he finally asked. And even though the words were not harsh and held no inflection of anger, I still turned from him as if they had.

I told myself it was fine. That I deserved it even.

His hand wrapping around my wrist stopped me. I still couldn't look at him – out of fear or hurt, I didn't know.

"Must I spell it out for you?"

"No, I get it."

He heard him growl low in his throat and then arms made of corded muscle snaked around my waist. I was pulled backwards until I was flush against him, back pressed to his chest. His undeniable arousal buried into the small of my back had the blush returning ten fold.

He leaned over my shoulder, breath ghosting across my ear. "When we return to our world, I will make you mine in a proper bed, where I will be able to worship every inch of your body without interruption."

His arms tightened, the friction against his cock making him growl. "I do not regret last night," he said, "But I do regret that you are now tied to some child whore."

I whirled around in his arms then, a fire roaring in my chest. "She had no choice in that! I did what I felt was necessary!"

"I know," he said, calm in the face of my storming emotions. "But we must undo what you have done."

"Why?" I asked.

His eyes flicked across my face, his lips forming into a narrow line. "She belongs to you. Is that what you want?"

He had turned the question back around on me. I could tell he was hiding something, refusing to tell me why he was so angry about my claiming Sayuri. I didn't know what lay hidden beneath his eyes, what could possibly be running through his brain, but I trusted he would tell me with time.

So I nodded my ascent, "Okay. We'll find a way."

His eyes showed surprise, not thinking I would acquiesce that quick. "Good," he growled, pleased with my reply. "Yusuke is waiting for us. It is time we left."

I nodded again and then dragged my eyes down the expanse of his naked chest. "Don't you think you're missing something?"

The smirk returned with a vengeance, mischief shining in his eyes. "It is nothing the detective has not seen before. And been envious of."

A bark of laughter left my mouth, his ego was the size of a mountain. And it showed with every step he took back to the den, not at all minding his nakedness, realizing I could not keep my appreciative gaze off of him even if I tried.

When he returned, pants once against settled over his hips, my grandfather's sword at his waist, I cast him a smile. He did not return it of course, but his eyes shone with a light that hadn't been there in recent months.

The trek out of the ravine was long and arduous. I kept pace with Hiei as best I could, his injuries slowed him down significantly, but he was still faster than me.

It took the better portion of the day before we even reached an area that looked suitable to climb. I never thought I would be thankful for the daily mountain climbing routine Takahiro put me through, but I could have kissed his feet now.

By the time we reached the top the two Makai moons had risen high in the sky.

With huffing breaths and sweat once again soaking me, but for a much more unpleasant reason, I hauled myself up the last expanse. When I reached flat land I fell gratefully to my knees, praising the gods above that the journey was finally over.

"Hey, looks like you two had some fun."

I looked up at the grinning face of Urameshi Yusuke and promptly gave him the finger.

He laughed, holding out a hand which I gladly took. He pulled me to my feet and slapped me on the back. "Glad to see you're both alive and well. I knew that ornery bastard wouldn't kick the bucket," he said, pointing to Hiei with his thumb.

Hiei shot him a glare and I just laughed.

My future might not look too bright. But as long as I had them by my side...

Well, I would find a way to overcome it.

I could overcome anything...just so long as I can call them my friends...my family.

My life had a mile long list of tragedies. And there were only more to come. But my love for those that I held close to my heart is what would drive me in the coming days. It was their love in return that would irrefutably change the very core of who I was...and shape it into who I was to become.

Strong.

Courageous.

Confident.

For this was my life, and I would shape my own destiny. With the help of all those who'd stood beside me, I would look death in the face, and say...

Fuck You.

. . .

A/N: So yeah, Hiei and Kas did the dirty deed (waggles eyebrows) and that won't be the last time either. Next time the chapter will be in Hitomi's POV. The final one I'll have written from her eyes period.

I hope you all liked this chapter. The last three have been some of my favorites out of the entire fic. And ones I've had planned for a very, very long time. So leave me some love. Thanks for reading!