Chapter 61: The Only Way
. . .
There was little time the following morning to explain the situation we found ourselves caught up in. Kasumi refused to speak to me when Mukuro's entourage came to retrieve us from my chambers and I was left to hastily tell her what was going on while we dressed.
To say she was angry with me would be an understatement.
She finally found the words she'd been looking for when we were left outside a set of large double doors—the entrance to Mukuro's throne room, where she held all audiences such as this.
"You selfish prick," she hissed, careful to keep her voice down. A controlled anger from her was never good. "You waited until now to tell me about this?! You're unbelievable!"
I wouldn't apologize. There was no excuse I could stand behind.
I'd lost myself in her and drowned the rest of the world out. But she just sighed, rubbed a hand down her face and then stared at those doors with some ill begotten determination.
"This is a waste of my time," she murmured to herself.
I kept my distance. Out in the open now it was safest that way. But I yearned to touch her, to feel her skin, to know that she was safe and alive beside me.
Just the sight of her wasn't enough.
Right before the doors began to creak open she turned to me and said, "I love you, but you're a real jerk."
I did nothing to stop the quiet laugh that left my throat.
We were ushered through, into the domed throne room where Mukuro sat in the seat of honor, just the same as several days ago. Only this time the throne room was packed with demons from all over Alaric—and some that weren't. Yomi included.
The lord of Gandara stood beside Mukuro's throne, eyes closed as always, in garb better suited for fighting than a political hearing. His attendants flocked near the dais but none dared climb atop it.
On Mukuro's other side, much to my shock, was Yusuke. He winked and waved at us, like the idiot he was.
And I was left to wonder—if they had gathered all the lords, where was the king?
Were our crimes really so dire that it required such a showing?
My guts twisted unpleasantly and I resisted the urge to once again reach out and grab Kasumi. What had I brought upon her in killing Caius? In destroying an entire island out of petty jealousy and anger?
There was no doubt in my mind that some kind of punishment would be served. Some kind of retribution for our actions. But the question remained—how bad would it be?
Kuwabara and Kurama were in the forefront of the crowd that lined each side of the great hall. In turn, Kurama cast a look over us both and offered a smile of sympathy that I blatantly ignored, and Kuwabara reached out and brushed his fingertips against Kasumi's own. Their hands stayed connected for but a moment, before they fell apart as Kasumi continued to walk beside me, closer to the throne.
Kasumi stood proud when we reached Mukuro. A mask on her face so strong not a single person in the room would doubt the bravado. Even I had a hard time spotting the signs—the slight shake in her hands, a bead of sweat that slid down the back of her neck, the way her energy seemed to flat line as if she were forcing it to stay steady.
She was afraid.
And that alone steeled my own resolve.
Mukuro stood and addressed the room at large. "I, Lord Yusuke, and Lord Yomi have gathered you all today in order to enact a form of justice for deeds committed by the two parties standing before me." She waved a hand at us, as if presenting an item for sale. "My second in command, Commander Jaganshi Hiei...and his human lover."
A murmur spread through the crowd, hissed whispers of disbelief and even laughter, derision.
In light of it I ended up snapping, "She has a name." But I did not deny who she was to me.
The entirety of demon world would know now that I took a human as my mate. And I wished she'd let me mark her, let me make that indisputable claim now that she was no longer tied to another. It might give some who longed to claim her a moment of pause.
But then again, it was just as likely they would hurt her just because she belonged to me.
Kasumi stepped forward, blocking me from the gazes of those up on the dais. Yusuke shook his head vigorously, wide eyes trying to convey whatever she planned was an idiotic idea.
I reached out for her, deciding it was pointless to keep my distance now, but just as my hand would have connected with hers she spoke, "Whatever punishment you plan to give should be for me and me alone."
"Yes, lets make a meal out of her," said someone in the crowd.
"What tasty energy," said another.
"Lord Hiei's mate," chuckled even another, "a human such as that would be worth a pretty penny."
"Let us have some fun with her, huh? Bet she's an obedient little toy."
My hands clenched into fists. I felt my nails bite into my palms, unabated fury made me see red. I wouldn't let a single one of this scum touch her. And by the look on Mukuro's face she knew that too.
She held up a hand, calling for silence. When it was not immediately granted a loud shouted, "Oi! Shut the hell up!" from Yusuke was all it took.
The din died down to mere murmurs again and Mukuro directed her attention to Kasumi. "You would take the punishment willingly?"
"It was my fault Hiei did what he did. I'm the reason he was there in the first place." Kasumi nodded, determined. "Yes, I will take whatever punishment you see fit."
"And if that punishment resulted in death?" inquired Yomi.
Kasumi hesitated, unsure of this new participant, but after a moment replied, "I would ask that you wait five and a half months then. You'll get your wish soon enough after that."
"Such a bold statement for a human child facing her possible annihilation."
She turned to Mukuro then, casting aside Yomi like a piece of trash. "Will you let whatever you did to fix me go to waste?"
Mukuro suppressed a smirk, covering her mouth with a hand. She cast a critical gaze over Kasumi, considering her answer. "I have no plans to make it go to waste, no," she said. "But I will put it to good use."
My eyes narrowed. Something in her tone was dangerous. I took a step forward, wrapping a palm around Kasumi's upper arm and pulling her into my side. She tried to shake me off, pulling away, but I held fast.
The whispers began anew.
A wicked smile curled Mukuro's lips. "You are being tried for the destruction of an entire outlying city in Tourin, when a long standing floating island's magic suddenly faded and crashed into the city below. Lord Yomi has also informed me that a once prominent part of one of his largest cities is now overrun, almost overnight, with a vigilante group headed by an old armorer named Mikhail."
Kasumi drew in a breath, but not one of shock. It was a sound closer to a laugh and I nudged her to make sure she stayed silent.
"And then we come to the charges I have brought against you, if you so choose to take them from Hiei."
I stiffened, my vain hope that she would keep this between us was dashed. Kasumi would have a hard time forgiving me for my actions...and would want to do so even less when she knew what they'd wrought.
"The death of the Bokur that long held standing in Alaric. As well as the deaths of several hundred of my people."
"What the hell is a Bokur?" Kasumi whispered to me.
"A type of voodoo priest that utilizes black magic," I replied.
She frowned, clearly still confused. "What the hell does that have to do with us?" she asked Mukuro.
"The Bokur was murdered for a piece of a soulmate bond. Yours, to be exact. And it has fallen into the hands of a man who calls himself Ryuunosuke."
Kasumi's face washed of all color. For a long moment she forgot to breathe and when she finally did it was a shuddering, broken thing.
Her eyes flicked to me, an accusation buried in their depths. I watched the muscles in her jaw work before she directed her attention back to Mukuro. "I will take whatever punishment you all decide on."
"Kasumi—!" shouted Kuwabara from the sidelines.
But Kasumi just lifted a fist and smashed it to her chest. Her shoulders squared and she held her head high. "I am to blame! No one else. And I will take the punishment in full."
Murkuro turned to Yomi and whispered something I couldn't hear, but by the grim look on Yusuke's face it was nothing good.
"We will take a recess to discuss this matter further. Talk amongst yourselves," said Mukuro.
She swept from the hall, Yomi and Yusuke following close behind. Yusuke gave us a thumb up as he passed.
As soon as the doors were closed behind them, I rounded on Kasumi.
"What the hell were you thinking?!"
"I didn't hear any protests from you," she replied, shrugging.
She kept her demeanor flippant, almost nonchalant. But her hands trembled and her face was tight and sweat coated her skin in a light sheen.
I gritted my teeth and flicked my gaze around the room. Too many eyes.
So I jerked my head towards a more secluded corner, making sure Kurama and Kuwabara followed as well. I didn't want them listening in on a rather private conversation, but it was better than the alternative of getting cornered by a group of less than satisfactory creatures.
We waded through the sea of demons, forming a circle around Kasumi so no one would touch her. She grumbled something about being able to take care of herself but none of us listened.
It took not even a second after we reached the corner for Kuwabara to ask, "What the heck's this crap about soulmates?"
"That is all you garnered from this," I sneered.
"Don't try to change the subject," he snapped back.
I was about to begin a rather unnecessary argument with him when Kasumi's angry voice stopped me in my tracks.
"Hiei is my soulmate," she said, "and it looks like he decided to go off and cut off a chunk of our thread and start a bunch of shit."
Kuwabara's mouth fell open and Kurama looked lost for once in his life and words failed them all.
Kasumi's face was blank and I realized then that the trembling in her hands wasn't from fear, but suppressed rage. She was doing her best not to flat out hit me.
And I couldn't blame her if she lost sight of that control.
"So, thanks to you," she said to me," Hideki is out and about killing people here in Alaric. Because you cut off a piece of the soulmate tether."
"Kasumi..."
"I don't want a fucking explanation or an excuse. You've kept too much from me. You talked about my betrayal not long ago, but what about yours?"
"I never—" I growled but she abruptly cut me off...by slapping me as hard as possible across the face.
She even added a little energy behind it to make sure it left a mark.
"Falling in love with you was the stupidest thing I've ever done."
Angry now, I hissed, "That is your own folly. I never wanted nor asked that of you."
Her eyes narrowed into a glare, covering up the hurt that flashed across them. "Good thing you won't have to worry about it much longer," she said.
My hands clenched into fists. This wasn't what I wanted. Not what I'd meant to happen.
But before I could think to say something to rectify the mistake the doors to the throne room opened. Mukuro, Yomi, and Yusuke strode back in.
Kasumi turned from us and pushed her way back through the crowd.
Kuwabara took a split second to shoot me a dirty look before chasing after her. "Wait, Kas!"
"Well," began Kurama, "you certainly have a way with women, Hiei."
I snarled something unintelligible at him as I shoved my way back towards the front of the room. I needed to fix this. Audience be damned.
And while I had fully intended to do just that, Mukuro had other things in mind.
I reached Kasumi, who stood before the lords with her gaze hard and determined, and realized there would be no changing Mukuro's or Kasumi's minds. Both held an air about them that spoke of conviction. They were settled in their choices.
Kasumi had done this to protect me. And for some reason that made my blood boil. As if she were calling me weak or incapable.
Probably the exact feeling she felt anytime she was treated like a fragile thing made of glass.
"A verdict has been decided," said Mukuro, her voice carrying around the entire hall. "The human girl known as Morimoto Kasumi will put to rights the problems in Gandara with her bare hands and hers alone. And she will hunt and kill the menace plaguing Alaric."
An uproar swept through the crowd, angry voices calling for bloodshed instead of the seemingly lenient punishment that was given.
But I knew it was not lenient at all. Mukuro made it a point to say it must be done with Kasumi's hands and hers alone. She would have to rebuild a ruined city, take down Mikhail and his syndicate. And last but not least, she would need to track and kill Ryuunosuke.
All of them were impossible feats for anything less than a group of warriors. No single human woman could manage it.
"I do not have time to rebuild a city," said Kasumi.
In which Yusuke replied, "Don't worry about that. I'll handle it."
It dawned on Kasumi then that something didn't add up to what she knew of Yusuke. She gave Yusuke a bewildered look and started to put the pieces together. She opened her mouth...closed it again.
Finally she asked, "Are you one of them, Yusuke?"
Yusuke realized too late that they'd never told Kasumi about him. Not even while in the past. He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled sheepishly. "Uh, sorry Kas. I should have told you. I'm...the ruler of Tourin. The desert region southwest of here."
For a long moment Kasumi said nothing. Her shoulders shook once, a tremor that spread through her entire body until she started to outright laugh.
The laughter was almost hysterical and I feared she would begin to cry before long.
It was too much at once.
I'd given her too much credit. This wasn't something most could handle...let alone a human girl with the weight of the worlds already on her shoulders. A weight that could very well crush her.
Yusuke shook his head sadly, moving to step down from the platform to comfort her, but Mukuro held out an arm. He was stopped in his tracks.
"The trial is not over, Yusuke."
And by the look Kasumi cast him it would do more harm than good if he touched her now. It was like all those months ago, before she knew of us, when she thought we were all baldfaced liars. And I could not deny that we were, that we kept things hidden because it was easier that way. Safer.
I reached out, let the tips of my fingers brush her arm.
She reacted with pure malice. "Touch me again and I'll tear off your fucking arm," she snarled.
She squared her shoulders and kept her gaze steadily trained on the lords above us. "I'll deal with Mikhail. And the person hurting your citizens in Alaric," she said. "But I need to know...how you knew about all this?"
It was a valid question, one I'd asked myself upon learning of the damages we'd done. When returning I had assumed that the changes we'd made would go unnoticed, or at least they would not have known what caused them should they be.
My assumptions were incorrect, to put it simply.
"I suppose you figured things would change gradually in our time, or the changes would not have been felt here...but perhaps long ago," began Mukuro. "But you have played with forces that should never have been touched. Things happened as if overnight, destruction and chaos and death."
"And then there came one name among it all. Kasumi. Everywhere I went, that name was spoken in hushed whispers. A human girl who killed a demon dignitary. Who freed human and demon slaves. Who brought destruction on an entire village because of her mate's jealousy," said Yomi. "Like some fable of old."
"Was your goal to cause such utter chaos?" asked Mukuro.
"No. I...never meant for any of that."
"And what of you, Hiei? Is a human girl worth the suffering of your people?" asked Yomi.
There was no right answer. And Yomi knew it too. Either I was meant to damn myself and admit to outright treason...or I was to damn my...relationship. If it could be called that.
I picked the lesser of two evils. And hated myself for it.
"No," I said. "But preventing further destruction of all three worlds is."
I could not see Kasumi's face, not from where I stood mostly behind her, but her back stiffened. And I watched with calculating eyes as her shoulders slumped, just a bit, from the strong positioning she'd held them in before.
"You mean to say what you did in the past was all part of some plan?"
"Yes, but things went...awry."
Yomi released a bitter laugh at that. "Awry...or out of control?"
"Listen, we did everything we could!" Yusuke argued.
"Did you? To me it seems you did everything wrong," said Mukuro.
"Then put me on trial too! I was just as much involved as they were!"
"Did you destroy an island and kill off a lucrative form of trade in Gandara? Did you give away a piece of soul so precious it could quite literally kill thousands?"
Yusuke's lips twitched. "No."
"Then you are not at fault here."
"That's bullshit," he growled.
"The logic is sound," said Yomi. "These two were the cause and effect of the entire situation."
"He's right Yusuke," said Kasumi. And her voice...its tone...I expected hurt...but this...
"I am at fault here more than anyone else. All of you are involved because of me."
Yomi turned his blind gaze to the floor, hand at his chin. He hummed to himself. "I would like to hear your story, human, in its entirety."
"We'd be here all day," said Kasumi.
"So be it," replied Yomi.
"Where should I start?" she wondered.
"The beginning," said Mukuro. She held too much interest in her eyes. And I knew it was not so much an interest in Kasumi herself...but the thing housed inside her.
But Kasumi just nodded and began to speak, tentative at first. The crowd of demons was silent for once, listening as if they too were invested in her story. And they probably were. Here was a human woman, with a strange power, brought forth for a trial held but some of the most important members of demon world. She was claimed to be my mate...my soulmate.
It interested even I...and I was aware of far more than any of them.
Kasumi started with bits of her past, pieces of a childhood that were not spent being a child. She connects those pieces with her sister, her family. And their deaths.
I thought to myself that this was a bad idea. That they should not know of such things. Of the god.
But I also knew Kasumi had little choice.
She flowed into the retelling of meeting all of us, the former Tantei, and how she discovered her long buried powers. The suffering she went through to achieve any sort of sensible use of them. And then she explained their part in the past...told stories of things even she had not told any of us. Her torture and imprisonment by Konstantin and Caius. The battle she'd fought afterwards, where Yusuke and I had found her covered head to toe in blood, as if she'd bathed in it.
Much of the retelling made my blood boil. And I wished to kill Caius all over again—Konstantin too.
She left out personal pieces when she could. She spoke not a word of what happened between us in that time. Not until it came point to recall what occurred on the island of the fey. And even then, she kept the majority of it to herself.
This did not slide past Mukuro. "You have left many things out."
"I don't think it is necessary for any of you to know about my love life."
"You speak so boldly for a human child," said Yomi. "It would take a mere flick of a finger to kill you and yet you choose to speak in such a manner."
"Killing me won't do you any good. It won't right the wrongs. And I am running out of time."
"If what you say is true...then all three worlds are in jeopardy."
"Yes," she said.
"No wonder Commander Hiei found worth in you...a god..." he breathed. Yomi's face was contemplative...and almost envious.
He turned to Mukuro. "You placed her in a tank, yes?"
Mukuro nodded, raising an eyebrow. "What of it?"
"You must know more about her make up then you are letting on."
Mukuro smirked, folding her arms across her chest. "Nothing worth divulging."
Yomi knew she was lying and his face turned hard as stone, but with a sneer he turned away, back to the matter at hand. "Even with these revelations, the wrongs must be set to rights. Do you accept your charges and their subsequent punishments?" he asked.
And Kasumi nodded. "Yes."
And the entire time...I stood there like some besotted fool, my eyes seeing only her. She had directed this entire trial. She'd planned to from the start. If only just to hurry the proceedings along.
Where the hell had such devious notions come from?
Kasumi turned and swept from the hall, with me hot on her heels and the others not far behind. But before they can corner us and demand answers for which I had no reply, I grabbed her. I picked her up and ran and she for once did not struggle.
When I stopped we were outdoors, far away from the circus back in Mukuro's fortress.
It was as I set her down that I realized she'd manipulated the lords into giving her what she'd wanted—a chance at Ryuunosuke unhindered. And how she'd managed it in the first place.
Her eyes were flooded black, the runes of Chronos in stark contrast against the pale skin of her forehead and hands. Kasumi had not directed the trial at all.
But Chronos had.
"Where is she?" I demanded.
"Here," was the god's reply, "as far away from you as she can get."
And the voice sounded so much like Kasumi's that it sent a shiver down my spine. It was not the otherworldly voice of Chronos I'd grown accustomed to.
"Bring her back," I snarled.
"She doesn't want to. Human women are fickle like that, Jaganshi. When they're told they are not worthy of their lover's devotion they tend to take offense."
"I need to speak with her," I said and hated to admit that my words were bordering on pleading.
"You've done enough for one day, I believe," said Chronos.
I wanted to throttle her, but knew it would only hurt Kasumi in the end. So all I could do was clench my fists and bite my tongue.
This was my mistake.
And that trial was also a burden I should have bared, not her. But I stood there...I stood there and let her take the blame. Because I knew the alternative could have been much worse. That the punishment she was given was truly lenient compared to what the lords could have chosen. I would need to thank Yusuke the next time I saw him.
I also knew that I did not deserve her love.
But I would take it and harbor it all the same—because Kasumi was mine. And I was a selfish bastard.
"I will not leave here until I can speak with her," I said.
"You'll be waiting a long time," Chronos chuckled. "She wants nothing to do with you right now."
"Chronos—"
But the god cut me off, leaning in and placing a palm against my cheek. I stiffened, wary of what she planned.
Chronos leaned in close, breath brushing against my lips and murmured, "Perhaps you and I could have some fun instead? The way you worked this body...well...it was a thing of beauty, wasn't it?"
I jerked away in disgust, sneering at the god. "Do not touch me."
Chronos pouted, the look almost alien on Kasumi's face. "Don't be such a prude," she said. "It was only a joke."
But the words were only part of what disgusted me. It was the implication behind them that was far worse. Chronos knew, more than likely had seen, what I'd done with Kasumi. The god spied on those intimate moments, the most private of times. And it made me see red.
"A joke?" I hissed, tone deadly. "None of this is a joke. And when the day comes that I get a chance to utterly ruin you, I will take it with great pleasure."
Chronos only laughed, a grin widening Kasumi's mouth. "Oh, I'm sure you will, Jaganshi. I'll be looking forward to it."
The black in her eyes receded...until it was the gray of Kasumi's once more. But the runes remained, more often on her skin now than they weren't. It was just another testament to the power she'd stolen from the god.
How soon Kasumi would go where I could not follow.
She was angry the instant her body was back in her control. Kasumi refused to look at me and breezed right by, back the way we'd come. And although I knew the disregard was well earned, I still turned to her with rage splitting me apart. I couldn't apologize, couldn't take back the words even if they weren't true. I was angry far more with myself than I was with her.
"Do not walk away from me," I snapped at her back.
But she did not so much as pause, she didn't look back. I watched until she was nothing but a speck on the horizon. And then I growled and took off running.
I tackled her to the ground a few minutes later, pinning her beneath me so she would be forced to look at me. And as I expected, she chose to fight back, but there was no real intent to hurt behind it. Eventually she gave up and just laid on the ground with my hips holding her to the dirt and my hands wrapped around her wrists. A familiar scenario.
Wild eyes stared up at me—eyes filled with pain along with the fury. My own dipped closed and I sighed, sitting up and pulling her along with me.
When she was upright again, she rubbed at her abused wrists and glared off somewhere beyond my right shoulder. "I don't want to talk to you right now," she said.
"I know."
"Then leave me alone."
"You know I can't."
I watched her throat work as she swallowed thickly and her next words were heavy with suppressed tears. "I'm trying not to be that kind of girl whose feelings get hurt every time the person she loves says something she doesn't like. But it's really fucking hard."
"I am not asking for forgiveness."
"Good, because you don't deserve it," she snapped. "I'm not a demon Hiei. Too often you act like I should know everything about this shit. I don't. I probably never will. But I'm trying, which is more than I can say for you."
My lips turned down in a confused frown. "What do you mean?"
"I've accepted you and all the strange shit that comes along with it. I'm watching and learning, Hiei. I'm doing my best to understand you and your people. But what have you bothered to learn about humans—my people?"
"I have no need to learn any more about humans."
Kasumi released a derisive bark of laughter. "You say it as if it's something dirty. Are you ashamed of me?"
My gut instinct was to say nothing and walk away, but I knew in this instance that silence would do more harm than good. "No," I said, "I am not ashamed of you."
"Could have fooled me," she said. "You hate humans still Hiei, yet you'll fuck one easily enough."
My lips curled back on my teeth at her words. I counted to ten in my head. She said I was blind to her and her ways, that she'd been watching and learning—she still knew nothing. "You are a once in a lifetime choice," I said. My control was tenuous at best, the words came out tight and harsh anyway.
"What the hell does that mean?"
I slapped a hand to my face, frustrated. She could be so blind. So young and so reckless and so stupid, while somehow managing to be smart at the same damned time. Did I have to spell it out for her?
"I would never have picked a human. I never even considered it. Not once," I said. "Until you."
"Maybe you made the wrong choice then."
The words were meant to bite, but I just shook my head and stepped towards her. "No, I didn't."
I never went into an arrangement without weighing what could and couldn't go wrong. I wanted to say that was true now, as well. But Kasumi was unpredictable, an anomaly I'd never considered until the day I'd met her. And even then, it took time before I realized what I wished for her to be to me.
But once the decision had been solidified, nothing would change my mind. Nothing.
Even the woman herself.
I wrapped my palms around her face, pressing my forehead to hers, and murmured, "I'm sorry."
Her eyes went impossibly wide and she drew in a breath to say something, but I was quick to cut it off. I dipped and pressed my lips to hers and slipped my tongue into her mouth when she gasped. I molded my lips to hers and pulled her forward until I could feel every inch of her against me.
I apologized for nothing. I made it a point to stand by all my words and actions.
But Kasumi was worth the destruction—the death and chaos—I had incurred. She was worth all of it.
I had not meant what I said.
And she needed to know that too.
I kissed her until she was pushing at my chest because she needed to breathe and even then I was reluctant to move away. She took a single look at me...and buried her face in my chest. She pounded her fists against me over and over, tears wracking her body, sobs broken and bitter things.
She cried until she was hoarse and I stood there and took the abuse until she crumpled at my feet.
"I don't know if I can...do this on my own," she whispered, "if I can face down the end of the world and die for it."
I knelt and touched her face, just the brush of my fingertips down her cheek. That was a pressure I could understand. I'd faced the end of the world more than once, with Yusuke. And I would face it again with him and the others by my side.
"No one thinks they can do something like that," I said. "It is a matter of how much you're willing to sacrifice for what is important to you."
"You say that as if you've experienced it before."
"That is a story for another time," I said.
I offered her a hand up and she took it. She brushed her clothes off after and averted her eyes, clearly embarrassed. "I'm always crying now," she said.
"Yes, it's rather obnoxious."
She hit me on the arm and my lips quirked up in a grin.
Even if this ended up swallowing us whole...it would be worth it. Kasumi would be worth it.
I believed that the only way I knew how—with full certainty. And that would never change, not even at the bitter end.
. . .
A/N: I fucking hate this chapter. You might have been wondering why it's taken so long for an update. Well, because I ditched this garbage chapter 3 times and I'm still not happy with it. I'm so sorry guys.
If you haven't already, go check out my new YYH fic The Shotgun Approach, you won't regret it!