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Author's Note: 'Dear Jason' has a sad implication, this was not the intent, I'm so sorry. Believe me, I'm sad too.
Prompt: Confessions
Enjoy!
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Dear Jason,
I don't know why I'm writing this, it's not like I'm going to send this to you or anything. I think I've seen this in a movie before? People write letters to put their feelings on paper as some kind of therapeutic thing. Usually it's an angry letter to their boss or something, but this isn't an angry letter. Actually, I don't know what this is. God, I'm rambling. I somehow found a way to ramble during a letter.
Anyways . . . What was I going to say? I've already lost my train of thought.
Oh yeah, thanks for running through the rain to bring me my cue cards for my presentation today. I didn't even realize that I forgot them. I didn't even realize that you knew I had a history presentation today. It was hilarious. Diane was about to start her presentation, then you threw open the door and she was so startled she threw her notes. It was like it was straight out of a terrible teen coming-of-age movie, or a teen rom-com. Or it was like you were Ryan Gosling and I was Rachel McAdams, but you were the only one that was soaking wet and instead of kissing me you gave me my notes for my presentation. Not that I wanted you to kiss me or anything, or that I think that it was like some climatic scene in a romantic drama. So I guess not at all like The Notebook, except for the rain. But I did get a strong Ryan Gosling vibe from you.
I've already told you thank you in real life, like, a lot of time, I know. I don't know what compelled me to write it down. Well, I didn't mention the part about The Notebook to you, so I guess maybe that's why I'm writing this. Maybe it feels more meaningful if I write it down?
Really, I have no clue.
From,
Peter
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Dear Peter,
Thank you, for today. Honestly, thank you for the past month. You know how my parents are. They're, you know, intense . . . to say the least. All they see in me is their perfect son. Top of the class, top athlete, et cterea, et cetera. That's all anyone sees really. Perfect Golden Boy Jason. But I don't feel that way, I feel like I'll never live up to that. I know I will never live up to that. I will never make them happy. And you get that. You understand. You see the stress fractures in my ivory tower. Maybe that's because you're my roommate and you get to see my one am breakdowns. But instead of turning a blind eye, you're right beside me during those breakdowns.
And those cookies that you baked? God, honestly you should open a bakery. They are probably the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. And you know I'm not a huge fan of sweets, but they were the perfect company for one am breakdowns. You and me, sitting on the floor, backs against the side of my bed, eating cookies at one am. I could do without the breakdowns, but other than that I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sincerely,
Jason
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Dear Jason,
Today in gym class I caught myself staring at you while you were demonstrating how to do a pull-up to the class. I mean, I was supposed to watch, so I could learn how to do one (ha, but it's not like I can do one anyways), but not stare. Right? I think you noticed. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I really mean it.
I'm sorry.
Yours,
Peter
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Dear Peter,
Kyra and I kind of went on a date today? I guess? We went to Pop's for burgers and shakes. It was nice, but it kind of just felt like dinner between friends. But I don't think I'm interested in her, like, romantically. So, I don't think there will be a second date.
Remember when we went to Pop's for your birthday? When everyone else bailed because they forgot they had our French finals the next day? Yeah, that was probably one of the most fun nights of my life. And it wasn't like we were running around town, screaming "You only live once!" and committing possible criminal misdemeanors. It was just us talking, laughing, walking downtown when the rest of the city was asleep, picking away at the French fries that you didn't finish at the restaurant. I don't even remember what we talked about, but I remember laughing a lot. But I do remember you getting chased by ducks that wanted your fries. I should have taken a video. Dammit.
That night, it was just really nice. I hope we can do that again sometime.
Always,
Jason
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Dear Jason,
I really want to kiss you. Like, really, really want to kiss you. Or at least I think I do? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do.
God, that sounds pathetic. It is pathetic.
When we were hanging out with the gang, playing truth or dare, Tanya asked me if I had to kiss someone in the group who I would kiss. I panicked and said I'd kiss Nadia. Nadia proceeded to hit me (well, you know, you were there).
The first person that popped into my mind was you. But of course, I couldn't say that. That would have been . . . embarrassing, to say the least.
I don't know where this is coming from. It's not like I've kissed someone before, so why the sudden interest? And I know that I shouldn't want to kiss you. I'm not . . . you know. But why then do I want to kiss you?
Forever yours,
Peter
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Dear Peter,
Last night while we were studying for our Macbeth test this week, you fell asleep on my and your head ended up on my shoulder. I didn't necessarily want to wake you up, you seemed exhausted, and dead set on sleeping on my shoulder. I could have fallen asleep there too. I wanted to. I could have leaned my head, resting it against yours. I would have had a wicked knot in my neck the next day, but I wouldn't have cared. But I figured that you would be sore if you slept upright, probably couldn't get the full eight hours that way either.
I moved you back to your bed. I picked you up bridal-style pretty easily, you're surprisingly light. I only moved you a couple feet, just across the room, but you, how do I put it? Snuggled up against my chest. It was cute, like a kitten. You yawned and shifted closer. Yeah, just like a kitten. Then I put you to bed, it seemed like you didn't like being put down. I put a blanket over you, I hope that you were comfortable. And you don't know this, or at least I don't think you know, but I kissed you on the forehead. As I put the covers over you and before I could stop myself I leaned down and kissed you on the forehead. You were thoroughly asleep, but you did react to it. You smiled a little bit in your sleep.
To be honest, I don't know why I did it. I just felt right? I guess? I probably shouldn't have done it. But I've thought about it, you know? Not while you're sleeping necessarily, but while you're awake. While we're studying, just leaning over and kissing you on the cheek. I don't think this is normal friend behaviour? Especially male friends. I guess it could just be platonic, I think when female friends kiss each other on the cheek it's seen as platonic.
Either way, I kissed you on the forehead. I hope that's okay. It's probably not.
Love,
Jason
P.s., Is 'love' an appropriate way to sign off an email to a friend?
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