You've done this so many times before.
You've done it with all sorts of partners.
You've done it out of boredom, out of nothing better to do, out of sheer lust for a nice looking body, out of being too drunk to even realize what was happening, out of needing to feel alive and like there's something in this life that's worth the trouble of staying alive. Every single time, it brought comfort to your body only, and even so it was fleeting. It was a momentary rush of adrenaline and pleasure, to fade already within the hour. It never meant more than that. For the most part, it never meant anything.
And look at you, right now – practically trembling, as your hands touch his skin.
Granted, it's not the most romantic of places.
The two of you are hiding behind a shelf at the temple library, already half-undressed, lips on fire and hair in disarray. It's messy and sloppy and unconventional and downright sacrilegious, given the place.
Who would have thought, that a little bit of sin looks so good on him.
It's way past midnight, so at least there's no risk of anyone walking in… because no one else is crazy like him, to stay up so late to study. In your defense, you came here with the responsible intention of taking him to bed before he passed out with his nose in a pile of books – again. And you honestly have no clue how things progressed from there to here. All you know is that, even if the temple collapses around you, that won't be enough to pry your hands from him till you're done and satisfied. Both of you.
"Fuck, I want you so bad…"
He doesn't bother replying, far too busy with nibbling along your jawline, and hell if you care. There's a pang of sadistic pleasure in the act of tearing his robe open, because it's ever your victory over the damn flowy silky thing, and it doesn't even occur to you that he's gonna have to return to his chamber in tattered clothes, after this. Clearly, it doesn't occur to him either, because his own hand is suddenly groping you over your pants and you swear you're gonna turn insane for good before the night is over, with the whirlwind of sensations he's making you feel. He always does.
With a groan, you push him back against the shelf and a couple thin volumes fall over, and again neither of you has a care in the world to spare. You actually step on one of them, not on purpose but you also don't bother to move it away, as you slip a leg in between his own and press your knee in between his thighs. His expression shifts in bliss and he rolls his hips into the touch, and you're painfully aware of how your self-control is hanging by a thread.
"You're gorgeous, you know that? You're fucking gorgeous, and–"
You swallow a gasp along with the rest of your words, because his lips are now on your Adam apple and it feels like electricity taking over your whole body. His lower region collides with yours and it's so obvious that he's as eager as you are, not at all bothered by the lack of romance that was troubling you two minutes ago. And that bit of self-control you were so bravely holding on to? Yeah, it's slipping through your fingers, like water.
"And… and it's making me wanna fucking wreck you, right here and right now…"
"Is it…? 'Cause all I'm seeing is a lot of talk and no action…"
…Cheeky little bastard. He's gonna be the death of you.
Grinning, you take that self-control and toss it over and behind the shelf, and you rip open what's left of his robe. His skin is porcelain, smooth and soft and flawless, and it makes you want to press your lips to every single inch of it. Both of you are too far gone for that, though, so it's gonna have to be blunt and straight to the point. Not that you're complaining.
Ironically, it's in one of the robe's pockets that you find all the help you're going to need. It's one concoction or the other, you're not sure and you don't care, possibly an Ether, but what matters is that it's slimy enough for you to dip your fingers in. The same fingers then get to work without further ado. You've committed the place to memory, at this point. He tosses his head back in sheer delight, and you can swear on your life there's no person in this whole world more stunning than him.
But you haven't forgotten his provocation, and revenge is a dish best served in the heat of the moment.
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard and so good you're gonna be limping for three days…"
It works immediately and you feel one leg already moving up to your waist. It's all you need, in order to hold him firmly so that he can hop on you with both legs around your waist. You shove him back against the shelf perhaps a bit too eagerly, though he shows no signs of complaining, and–
–And it's like heaven, every single time.
The way he moans your name is going to KO you one of these days, you just know it, and you wait a couple seconds to give you both the chance to adjust. It's mind-blowing, it's otherworldly, it's a feeling you'll never have proper words for. His arms latch around your neck and he arches his spine beautifully to roll his hips into you, and you start up on a rhythm.
Soon, you are both struggling to breathe, his blonde bangs are sticking to his face by small drops of sweat, you are already twitching in tension and aching for release. You hold his slender frame a bit further up and skillfully hit the spot you were aiming for – and there it is. There's the reaction you wanted to see before finishing – the way he cries out loud in delight, the way his nails dig into your skin almost desperately, the way his eyes squeeze shut and then reopen and look at you like you're the most precious treasure. You have absolutely no clue what you've done so right, in this sorry life of yours, to deserve someone like him.
He doesn't last much longer – neither do you. He finishes first and you follow right after, and the whole shelf squeaks in protest. Neither of you even notices.
All you have eyes for is his features still painted in blissful glee, the way his damp and slightly swollen lips hang open as he gasps for air, the softly-colored freckles dotted across his nose and cheeks like constellations. His chest heaves against yours and his arms grow lax in their embrace, and you can feel your own also claiming for a break. You put him back down safely and he immediately slumps back against the shelf, and this is exactly why you're keeping an arm around his waist – because you did promise to fuck him till his legs go weak, and you're a man of word.
"I… I hope no one heard anything…"
"Bit too late to worry 'bout that, don't you think?
He smiles widely and brightly as you point out the obvious, still so blatantly riding the high, his breathing slowly returning to normal.
"The things you make me do!"
"Me? You were the one who grabbed me like I'm the last glass of water in the desert, Your Holiness!"
Laughing now, not bothering to try and deny it, he returns his arms to around your neck and leans in for some lazy kisses.
"Yeah… guess I was really thirsty."
It was like there was no mercy left in this world for him. Not after the literal cockblock of two nights ago, and now with his own mind deciding to put him through such a vivid dream. Van inched to the edge of the bed and reached for the flagon of water on the nightstand, nearly draining the entire thing in one go. No amount of water would quench the wildfire spreading through his whole body, though, and so he didn't wait long to go take care of it in the shower. By much and far, it couldn't compare to what that mystery person in his dream made him feel, but it was either his own hand or smacking his head on the wall till he put himself out misery.
Nonetheless, Yevon still wasn't done torturing him for his sins.
As Vanitas returned to his room to change into clean clothes, the sounds coming from the adjacent room, which happened to be the one Aqua and Terra were sharing, left no doubt about what was going on in there. Not only he was being kept in a tight chastity belt he'd never asked for and that seemed to have lost its key, now he had also to be reminded that every other couple in Spira actually had an enjoyable and vivacious sex life. As if Roxas hadn't done a darn good job of that, already.
Even Flood was giving him a look of pitiful sympathy, as he finished getting dressed, and that's when Van decided he was already done with this whole day. And with this room. One, he didn't want to go back to sleep and risk having a similar dream when he wasn't even over the previous one yet, and, two, there's no way he'd stay here listening to Aqua's and Terra's… enthusiasm, to call it so. Maybe Ven was already awake, as well? He tended to be an early bird, so it was worth the try. And yeah, this would be like staring at a big slice of yummy cake after being told he can't devour it… but stealing a few kisses would still be better than nothing.
As Vanitas knocked on the door, though, there was no response – and, peeking inside, he could see that the summoner was still very much snuggled up under the covers. Rather than turning away, Van went further in and closed the door behind him, and quietly crouched down by the edge of the bed. Ven was fast asleep, his breaths coming out evenly – curled up on his side, with his face half-buried in the pillow. Now being this close, Van could notice the small puddle of drool on that same pillow, and had to hold back his laughter. Seriously, how freaking adorable could a person be?
Very selfishly, he wanted to wake up Ventus and enjoy a moment of private time, as the other two guardians were doing, even if it was just kissing. Even if it was just talking and laughing together… but, in the end, decided against it. Ven really needed all the rest he could get, not only for the journey itself but also because the fayth seemed to be getting increasingly aggressive in their bonding. Leaning in, he left a soft little kiss on Ven's cheek and exited the room as quietly as he'd entered it.
Van made his way out of the inn, then, deciding to explore the city on his own, while everyone else was either asleep or far too awake. They'd arrived at Guadosalam the evening before, after finally crossing the Moonflow and landing on the north bank. There wasn't a temple in the city, so many summoners simply walked by and didn't bother to stop, but they'd welcomed the chance for sleeping in actual beds and getting a good shower, after the river adventures.
Guadosalam was built inside an underground cavern, and the city's walls and walkways were made of the twisted roots of the trees along the Moonflow's bank. The people were as peculiar as the city itself, as the Guado had a rather elvish appearance – long limbs, big hands with nails that looked more like claws, prominent veins on their faces, and hair that strangely resembled bushes. Over dinner, Ventus had explained that Guado and humans weren't too used to mingling, though the situation was gradually becoming better, ever since Maester Jyscal Guado married a human woman and brought over the Faith of Yevon.
Much to his surprise, Van had also learned that Xemnas was actually Jyscal's son. He was anointed as a maester at a very young age and, recently, he'd also been named the new leader of the Guado, after his father's untimely death. Being the child of a hybrid marriage, Xemnas had taken after his mother and looked mostly human-like, but the Guado ended up following him as loyally as they once did Lord Jyscal.
Guadosalam was also where the entrance to the Farplane was located, at the city's upper level – the gathering place for the dead, once sent by a summoner. Ventus had explained, as well, that, in the Farplane, pyreflies reacted to a person's memories in order to conjure images of their dead – only the dead appeared there, and no image of the living had ever been witnessed before. It was a phenomenon that no one in Spira fully understood, not even the Guado who so proudly guarded the Farplane, and honestly it wasn't a place that Vanitas was too keen on visiting… Yet, now that his steps had brought him right to the entrance and he had nothing better to do, he might as well take a look. What could possibly go wrong, right?
A few steps past the entrance and towards the long stairway, leading up to the Farplane itself, already sufficed to make the hairs at the back of his neck stand. Effectively, he was about to visit the realm of the dead… and, while Van wasn't one to be easily spooked, even he had to respect such a thing. There was a sort of portal at the top of the stairway and, past that, he found himself standing on a small rocky landmass. Perhaps not very impressive, at first sight… but, as he walked closer to the edge, he could see what this place was truly about.
That rock platform was suspended in midair, save for the stairway connecting it back, and surrounded by a seemingly endless, ethereal expanse. There were hills and mountains that disappeared into the horizon, massive waterfalls and whirlwinds of clouds. Everywhere, pyreflies swirled and roamed freely, filling the air with their gentle wailing and their luminous trail… Yeah, it was definitely a place to make you shiver in reverence.
But now what?
What was he supposed to do here? Just look around and leave? No, people came to the Farplane to visit their lost loved ones, wasn't it? Still, Van wasn't so sure how that worked. Should he… just call out loud for someone who'd died?
As he wondered, something started happening already and a few of the pyreflies took form in front of him – in the shape of a person. This young Crusader woman… he'd met her at the Djose Temple. Naminé had healed her as well as she could, but the wounds had been too extensive and, eventually, she'd passed away. Now here she was… or, to be accurate, a representation of her. She didn't move or speak at all, it was like staring at a photograph but in all three dimensions. And it was actually really cool but, again… it left an uneasy feeling in Van's stomach.
Regardless, now that he'd figured this out, there was something he wanted to try. He closed his eyes and thought of his father – wondering if he'd show up here, as well. As he looked again, however, there was nothing to be seen. The lady had faded away and nothing else had appeared, even if the picture of Xehanort was clear in Van's mind. So… this was the ultimate evidence, wasn't it? This confirmed that his father wasn't dead… and, if he wasn't dead, it was likely because he was Sin. No more staying in denial, no more clinging to the faint hope that it might have been a lie or a misunderstanding.
With a deep sigh, Vanitas was about to turn around and leave, when something else caught his attention. He wasn't really thinking of anyone else… but the pyreflies were reacting, nonetheless. Rather than a clear image like that of the Crusader woman, they were now gathering together to form vague shapes – and, instead of a static image, these shapes were moving around. Was this supposed to happen…? Was the Farplane broken, should he go and find a Guado and tell them to go check on it?
Curiosity made him stay, and he squinted at the shifting images – trying to make sense of it. It was a… a corridor? There were walls and a ceiling above and a floor below, so it did look like a corridor. A winding one, with turn after turn. More pyreflies were gathering, forming more shapes around and along the corridor… were these supposed to be people? They looked like it, though they were faceless and Van could only discern the outlines of their bodies. Suddenly, there were sounds that spanned beyond the usual whispering of the pyreflies… and that were more like actual screams. Low and muffled, but they were screams. The figures were now falling over, as if struck by something or someone, and the corridor came to an end and opened into a room.
"What the hell…?"
Van knew little and less about Spira in general and about the Farplane in particular, but he was pretty sure none of this was a common occurrence. Ventus talked about seeing images of the dead, nothing like an actual movie playing. The moment he thought of the summoner, though, the projected room glitched as if it was full of static and, right after, another figure was forming. A person… someone in white, as faceless as the rest, but clear enough for Van to see they were stepping in front of someone else, with arms open wide, as if to halt the actions of this someone else.
You must stop!
This time, the static struck through Van himself. This person… the voice he could swear on his life he'd just heard – why was all of this so familiar…? Suddenly, it wasn't his sight and hearing only, anymore. Suddenly, he could smell the thick scent of blood freshly spilled, could even taste it in his mouth, and he could feel the weight of a sword in his hand. Suddenly, it was as though he wasn't only watching this unfold, rather he was effectively there… And, more than anything else, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a gruesome sense of grief.
You're crazy… Look at what you've done…
I told you, I'm here to take you home. There's no way I'm leaving without you.
I– I saw the guards outside… You killed them…?
I would murder every single person in this city, if it meant that I can save you.
I can't go… you know that I can't. They need me–
With a wince and a gasp, Vanitas brought a hand up to clutch at the side of his head, that now felt like it was being pierced by a flaring blade. So many thoughts rushing into his mind, so many memories, so many negative emotions… And it'd gone from not wanting to watch this to not wanting to relive this, not again. But how could it be again…? When had any of this happened…?
I couldn't care less if everyone and everything burns to the ground, you're coming with me! There's no way I'll ever let them take you from me again!
But you did, didn't you…?
I'm sorry–
Don't be.
I wanted to save you…
I know. And you did. You're here for me, and that's all I need… this moment is enough.
Van could feel his tears breaking free and rolling down his cheeks, as his lungs momentarily stopped pumping air. His very heart felt like it'd stopped… felt like it'd died. The last sensation he remembered feeling was something that could only be described as blood soaking up his clothes. That and desperately trying to reach to grab a hand so close to him, yet so far away. A hand that he never reached.
Then, everything went dark and silent.
When Van woke up again, there was the sound of voices in the background and a headache threatening to split his skull in half. With a quiet sigh of discomfort, he rolled over on his side and nuzzled the pillow under his head… and this fleeting moment of peace lasted almost three seconds, before a torrent of memories came pouring in again. Now with a loud gasp, he jerked up and immediately caught the attention of Terra and Aqua, who darted to his side.
"Van! Take it easy…"
Aqua's well-intentioned words weren't even processed.
Frantically, Vanitas was feeling with both hands at his chest and belly, checking for the blood he could still so vividly feel and smell… but found nothing. He was perfectly well. Not even a scratch. Not even a gunshot wound, though he also couldn't tell why he thought of such a thing. Next, he scrutinized his surroundings just as intensely… but, again, what he saw was nothing of what he was expecting to see. No corridor, no room at the end of the corridor, no one in front of him dressed in a white robe – only Terra and Aqua, by now staring at him in concern.
"Did you have a nightmare? It's all right… you're awake now. Everything is okay."
Aqua tried again and, this time, at least Van was able to listen.
Had it been a nightmare…? Still not certain that he could relax, he gave the other two guardians an antsy stare.
"Where am I…?"
They sat beside him on the bed, and Terra left a reassuring squeeze on the younger one's shoulder – hoping it could help to ground him a bit more. "Your room, in the inn. We're in Guadosalam, remember?"
Guadosalam, yes… that's where the Farplane was. And the Farplane…
"I… I thought I died…"
Terra glanced over at Aqua, and their expressions were one and the same. There was a lot to clear up, after they'd found Vanitas knocked out as he'd been, but the priority was to help him calm down. Terra smoothed the pillow against the headboard and gently made Van lean back on it, and Aqua took one of his hands in both her own.
"It's all right… You're safe here, we're right here with you. Just breathe slowly… in and out… okay?"
Van nodded absently, still running on a panicked autopilot, but made himself follow Aqua's advice. Closing his eyes, he inhaled and exhaled, then again, and again, again again again… and, with each time, he was able to do it a bit slower, till the rhythm was very close to normal. Eventually, the haze in his mind cleared up enough for him to be able to tell reality from delusion, and he sank further down in bed – dropping an arm tiredly over his eyes.
"Fuck… I really thought I was gonna freak out…"
Terra had to chuckle, despite everything else, and ruffled his hair in a way similar to what he would usually do to Ventus. "If you're cussing, you must already be fine."
Aqua snickered as well, and even Vanitas showed the semblance of a smile, as he now let his arm slide to the side and drop heavily on the mattress.
"What the hell happened to me…?"
Aqua started, "We… don't really know."
And Terra continued, "By the time we were all up, you were already nowhere to be found. We looked around for a good while, till one of the Guado who offered to help found you passed out at the Farplane. You wouldn't wake up, no matter what we did, so we brought you back here. You've been unconscious all day."
All day… just the sound of it had Van frowning all over again. Regardless, he tried to sum up his side of the story, as well as his jumbled recollection allowed. "I went to walk around for a while… and ended up at the Farplane. Then… I– I dunno what the hell happened. The pyreflies started gathering, and… I was running down a corridor, then someone else showed up– And… and we died, we both died…"
Not the most eloquent of explanations, and the two older guardians could feel their worry growing exponentially. With a frown, Aqua reached over to brush back the unruly, black bangs. "Van… you must have dreamed it. The Farplane only allows us to see the images of persons who have died – we can't really see anyone moving, we can't see places."
"I thought that, too! But, Aqua, I can swear on it… I didn't dream it. I don't know what the fuck happened there, but it happened. I know it happened, it… it was too real…"
Again, the guardians exchanged a forlorn look between them. They didn't think Vanitas was lying, of course… but they had no explanation for such a thing, other than a dream or a hallucination. He looked so distraught, though, that neither of them had the heart to keep insisting and prying for rational explanations. Maybe it was no more than yet another of the Farplane's uncharted mysteries.
"Well, whatever it was… are you feeling better, now?"
Van could see in Aqua's gaze that she didn't believe him, but… hell, he couldn't blame her, either. That shit had been surreal and the only reason why he wasn't doubting it, himself, was because of the way it'd felt, at the end. Like his very heart was being ripped from his chest. That indescribable sense of dread and grief.
"Yeah… I guess."
His temples weren't throbbing so obnoxiously anymore, at least. As he sat up properly, though, Vanitas had a sudden realization. "Where's Ven?" Not to be conceited (well… maybe just a little bit, because his ego could really do with the pampering, right there and then), but he was actually surprised the summoner wasn't all over him, as he always was whenever something happened.
This time, the look between Terra and Aqua was one of hesitation. It was Terra who broke the news, his forehead wrinkling in a scowl. "He's having dinner with Maester Xemnas.
"…What?"
"The maester's steward came here, a while ago… this Tromell Guado. He said Xemnas had something important to discuss with Ven, and so requested they had dinner together."
One look at Terra's face would suffice to see how much he did not like the idea. In an attempt to soothe her lover, Aqua took his hand and laced their fingers together – looking at Vanitas as she spoke next. "Ven was so scared for you… he didn't leave your side all day. He even asked Tromell to postpone the dinner, but Maester Xemnas will be departing for Macalania Temple first thing in the morning. And Tromell insisted so much that Ven ended up agreeing."
"What the fuck does that guy want with him?"
"We don't know – Tromell only said it was an urgent matter. Terra wanted to go with him, while I stayed here with you, but Ven said it wouldn't make sense to go to the maester's house with a bodyguard. And he's kinda right, I suppose…"
"Are you kidding me? I don't fucking trust him one bit!"
Terra looked like he completely agreed… but, at the same time, also looked like the responsible older brother who must make decisions for the greater good, even if against his will. "No use thinking about it, now. I'm sure he'll be back soon… and, if he isn't, we'll go get him ourselves. We're his guardians, after all."
Van felt his eyes about to pop off the sockets, with how hard he rolled them. Getting up from the bed, he walked over to the window and stared for a long while at the mansion at the end of Guadosalam's middle level – where Xemnas used to live, before becoming a maester and moving to Bevelle, and where he stayed whenever he was in the city. And he remembered what he'd told Terra, last time they'd spoken of this.
If I have to punch a maester, I fucking will.
Ventus couldn't recall time ever trickling by so slowly; slow minute after slow minute. Likely, not even an hour had passed since he entered the maester's house… yet he couldn't help but wish that this evening would be over already. He was so worried about Vanitas and wanted to return to his side – but, considering he'd accepted the invitation, he couldn't just up and leave now. All he could do was to pray for his guardian to be all right and for him to wake up soon, while trying to keep the anxiety off his face as well as he could.
"You barely touched your food, my lord. Was it not to your liking?"
Tromell's voice made him glance up from his plate, which was, indeed, still more than half-full. How could he eat with such a tight knot in his throat?
"It was wonderful… I'm just not very hungry, I'm sorry."
"Please, do make sure you stay healthy. All Spira waits eagerly for the Calm you shall bring us."
With a bow, the steward proceeded to collect some of the plates from the table, before leaving the dining room. Ven gave him the best smile he had to offer, but apparently it wasn't convincing enough – because, soon, Xemnas himself was tapping at the same topic.
"You've been quiet all evening. Is anything troubling you?"
Ven nibbled at the inside of his cheek. "I apologize, Lord Xemnas… you were very kind in inviting me, and I'm glad to be here."
"Yet you look unwell. And seeing you like this troubles me."
Well, so much for keeping it concealed. Sighing softly, Ven lowered his gaze to his hands on his lap. "It's… one of my guardians. I'm rather concerned about him."
"Injuries during the pilgrimage?"
"No… we're not so certain what happened. He passed out and has yet to wake up."
"I see. Is it the son of Sir Xehanort?"
Should he be surprised that the maester knew about this? Maybe he'd overheard them speaking, at some point… At the moment, Ven honestly didn't have enough energy to question it too much. "Yes."
"It is the life of a guardian. They must be willing to do sacrifices for their summoner – much as the summoner is willing to do sacrifices for Spira and for the good of the people. Surely, you have not forgotten this."
"I know… and I haven't. I'm sure he'll be all right, I just… worry about him."
Xemnas kept silent for a few seconds longer, as if pondering on what he'd just been told – before he stood up, walking over to Ven and offering him a hand. "Come with me, Lord Ventus."
Somehow, it sounded more like an order than a request. Ven did as he was told, regardless, and followed Xemnas out of the dining hall and over to the adjacent room, that looked to be a library – given the desk at one of the corners and the numerous book-filled shelves lined along the walls. In between two shelves, there was also a large painting of Lord Jyscal. What was unusual, though, was the device in the middle of the room – a thin pedestal about as tall as a human's waist, that had a sphere embedded at the top and looked like a… control panel? Apparently so, because Xemnas touched it and the whole room immediately went dark, as the sphere started playing.
It wasn't just your ordinary movie sphere, however. The projection was so compelling, so realistic, as it changed the room into streets and buildings and people passing by, that Ven felt like he was being teleported somewhere else entirely.
"This sphere is a reconstruction created from the thoughts of the dead that wander the Farplane."
As he spoke, Xemnas walked closer to Ventus and stood right beside him now, as the summoner stared in awe at the illusion that was being so meticulously weaved around them. Such impossibly tall buildings, in an architectural style that oddly resembled the ancient ruins left a bit all over Spira… the lights as well, that made this town shine bright even in the middle of the night. The voices of the people as they walked around, the announcements coming through the speakers, the neon signs and the fountain in front of the blitzball stadium – all of it was so enthralling.
"Where are we…?"
"Radiant Garden. The great and wondrous machina city – as it was, a thousand years ago."
…Radiant Garden. So this was Vani's home? Now that Ven thought on it, it did look exactly as his guardian had told him about. No, it actually looked even more beautiful than he'd imagined it to be… it looked like the most gorgeous city in the world, just like Sir Xehanort himself had also called it. As the sphere kept playing its recording, the buildings shifted along and they entered one of them, and then a specific room.
"She once lived in this metropolis."
"She, who?"
The maester did not respond, but smiled at something being displayed behind Ven, and so he turned around to look. This was a bedroom, he could notice… and a beautiful woman with long silver hair and matching silver eyes was sitting on the bed.
"Lady Yunalesca!" Ven had seen countless portrayals of her in books, of course… yet the way he'd recognized her, just now, hadn't come from that. Rather, it felt like seeing again someone you'd met a long time ago… someone whose features you remembered not from staring at pages, but from having seen them from up close. …What an odd feeling. How could he possibly had ever met Lady Yunalesca, of all people?
"Correct. She was the first person to defeat Sin, a thousand years ago, after it was born. However… she did not save the world alone."
Ven gasped as a holographic someone else all but walked through him – having been staring at Yunalesca so intensely that he'd momentarily forgotten about his surroundings. It was a man clad in armor, tall and handsome and proud, that he could also recognize immediately… in that same strange, whimsical manner. "Lord Zaon…"
"To defeat the undefeatable Sin, it took an unbreakable bond of love. A bond of the kind that binds two hearts for eternity."
As Xemnas spoke these words, the recording came to an end and the room started returning to what it was in reality – though Ven was still staring, as Yunalesca and Zaon hugged each other in such fond manner. Her husband, and her guardian… the story was well known. Together, they'd defeated Sin for the first time and passed along the teachings of Yevon, so that Spira could learn how to atone and how to, one day, be rid of Sin for good. And it was both an inspiration and a testimony to what a tragedy it might turn out to be, for a guardian and a summoner to fall in love.
Blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light again, Ven turned to look curiously at Xemnas.
"Why have you shown me all this?"
"To remind you of what your purpose is."
"…I haven't forgotten. Nor will I ever."
"No – but you are getting sidetracked."
If Ven's expression had initially shown a hint of outrage, at the insinuation that he might not be taking his pilgrimage seriously, now he felt like the word sidetracked was a shard stabbed right through his chest. Was the maester talking about him and Vanitas…? But how could he possibly have known, when not even Terra and Aqua were aware of anything? One way or the other, Ven felt a tidal wave of guilt washing over him.
"I– None of my… personal matters will interfere with my pilgrimage. I will not allow it."
Unable to hold the scrutinizing undertone of Xemnas' golden gaze, Ven averted his eyes – but that only led to the maester bringing a hand to his cheek, to make him look up again.
"Lord Ventus – you, as all summoners, are charged with bringing peace to Spira. Yet this means more than just defeating Sin. You must ease the suffering of all Spira, and be a leader for the people."
"And… how can I do that?"
"I can help you–" Xemnas' smile was, suddenly, indecipherable. His hand stayed on Ven's cheek and he leaned closer in, perhaps a bit too close for the summoner's comfort, and he quietly spoke the next words by the younger one's ear. "–If you'll give me the honor of marrying me."
If Sin itself had just barged into the room with a bouquet of flowers in hand, Ventus wouldn't have been more shocked.
"What…?"
"By all means, I am proposing to you as a maester. Think, Ventus – the high summoner's son and the leader of the Guado, married in the name of Yevon and overcoming the barriers of race. Don't you think it would bring some cheer to Spira, for a change?"
Ven felt himself growing lightheaded, and had to make a mental note to keep breathing as he stepped back to lean on the edge of the desk. Was that right…? If the two of them were to get married… would that make the people happy? Would it give them hope and keep them going, till he defeated Sin? Before he was able to put together the semblance of a reply, Xemnas continued.
"Certainly, I would not dare interrupt your pilgrimage – on the contrary. As your husband, I would do everything in my power to see you succeed. I would be your pillar of strength – as Lord Zaon once was to Lady Yunalesca."
Pillar of strength. The same words Xemnas had used in the aftermath of Operation Mi'ihen… had this already been his intention? Leaving a hand on his chest, over his heart that he could feel hammering away through the layers of clothing, Ven softly clutched at the fabric.
"My lord, I… I don't know what to say!"
"That is quite all right. There's no need to answer right now. In the meanwhile… I will go get you some water. You look like you need it."
Ven wasn't sure what he needed, after this situation had just exploded on his face – but a glass of fresh water actually didn't sound like a bad idea at all. After Xemnas left the room and closed the door on his wake, he covered his face with his hands and muffled a groan on his palms. What was even going on…? He'd come here for a simple dinner and, in the end… dessert had really knocked him off his feet, hadn't it?
Getting married was something that Ven had never thought about, not after deciding to become a summoner – what sense would that have made? But… Yunalesca had been married to Zaon, and he had been her guardian. Xion was also together with Naminé, and she was her guardian. And yet, even as he mulled over these examples, there was only one person that Ventus could associate with the thought of marriage. Only one guardian. Ironically, the same one that had him feeling so terribly guilty, just minutes ago.
"What am I to do…?"
Not that he expected any of the books to answer his question… though, to his great startle, the painting suddenly looked like it had some input to add. Frowning, because he thought he was seeing things, Ven walked closer – only to have the jumpscare of his life, as pyreflies began gathering around Lord Jyscal's portrait and, eventually, Lord Jyscal himself poured out of it. Or… what was left of Jyscal Guado, truly. An amalgam of pyreflies shaped like him, though, unlike the dwellers of the Farplane, this wasn't an image only.
This was Lord Jyscal's unsent self.
To be fair, he didn't look like he meant any harm… rather writhing in agony, as if trying to speak or, at least, to convey some sort of message somehow. But… why? How could it be, that the former Guado leader had died and not been sent…? Was Lord Xemnas aware of this?
Whatever had happened, Ven didn't need much longer to understand the only way in which he'd be able to help. This was Jyscal no more… and the greatest mercy would be to put him at peace. He summoned his staff, then, and performed the sending – for only one person, a few simple moves were enough, and the pyreflies faded with one final wail that sent a shiver running down Ven's spine. Talk about a hectic evening…
An evening that still wasn't over – because, now that he glanced at the spot where the former maester had just been, he saw a sphere on the floor. Did Lord Jyscal drop this…? Ven picked it up but, as he could already hear footsteps approaching – likely, Xemnas returning – he instead slipped it into one of his pockets.
Whatever the contents of this sphere, it would have to wait for better timing.
"Ven!"
Aqua beamed as the summoner walked inside the inn, a huge weight lifting from her shoulders. Out of the three, she'd been the one to take this dinner as something not worth getting worked up about… though, the more she'd watched the other two sulking, the more anxiety had started gnawing at her as well. Despite the wave of relief, though, as she approached Ven, she had to fear that their suspicion might not have been too far-fetched.
"Are you all right? You look pale…"
Terra and Vanitas were quick to follow after her, having been just absently keeping up with the blitzball match being broadcasted via the sphere at the inn's common room – and Van was the one who immediately started checking Ven for any signs that might warrant going out to punch a maester.
"Did he do anything at all to you? Because I swear–"
Before he could conclude that threat, which would have been probably rather graphic, the summoner clung to him in a tight hug.
"You're awake! Yevon, I'm so glad you're feeling better!"
"I'm–" Honestly, with how grouchy he'd been over this stupid dinner, Van had actually forgotten about everything else in his day. Still, much as he was enjoying the hug, he pulled back a little and left his hands on Ven's shoulders. "Yeah, that's a whole other story… but how are you? What did he want with you?"
At least one good thing in this day, Ven thought to himself, if Vanitas had finally recovered. And he wanted to ask about it, if nothing else to keep delaying the dinner topic… but that didn't really work out. And it wasn't the sort of thing he could keep to himself, so he really ought to toughen up and explain everything… though not here, in public. Not when the inn keeper was already looking ready to have the time of her life, listening to this juicy gossip.
"Can you all come to my room? I… I have a lot to say."
They didn't waste any time before returning upstairs. Ven kicked off his shoes and pulled away his jacket, and settled in the middle of the bed with his friends around him and staring in blatant expectation. After a deep breath in, he went straight to the point.
"Maester Xemnas… asked me to marry him."
The reactions varied from one end of the spectrum to the other. Terra's eyes were wide as saucers and, if he didn't say anything, it was because he'd momentarily lost the capacity to form coherent words. Aqua was just as wide-eyed, if not more, but her instinctive reaction was to bring a hand to pet the side of Ven's head, before she was also able to think of anything to say.
"What the FUCK did you just say?"
Maybe not too surprising, that Vanitas was the one exploding first – punctuating his question with a fist-slam on the top of the nightstand, which knocked over the couple bottles of Ether resting there.
"Ven… you're kidding, right…?" Terra reacted next, managing to catch the Ethers before they dropped to the floor.
"I wish I was… I– I wasn't expecting that at all.
"But… why? Why would he do such a thing?" Aqua's hands moved to hold Ven's now, reassuringly.
"He said… it will bring joy to the people of Spira, if we do it. It will help joining humans and the Guado."
A solid argument, she must admit… but Aqua really wasn't sure how she felt about this. "But… what about your pilgrimage?"
"He said he wouldn't stop me. He said– …said that he'd help me to defeat Sin."
"What the fuck do you need his fucking help for? You have us! You have me!"
That last part wasn't supposed to have become so personal, but Van was way beyond caring. In fact, if Xemnas had been in the room right now, not even Yevon would have stopped him from committing bloody murder.
Feeling matters about to get slightly out of control, Terra once more called upon his big brother role and put a hand on Van's shoulder – in an attempt to calm him down. "And what did you say? What was your answer?"
"I didn't answer yet. Lord Xemnas told me to think about it… and to go to him once I make up my mind."
I look forward to your favorable reply, Lord Ventus.
"Are you fucking me…? Why didn't you refuse right away? Why didn't you tell him to shove this marriage up his fucking–"
"Vanitas." Terra's tone was stern, now, and so was his glare as he looked at the other guardian. "This is Ven's decision. Not yours."
"What…? Are you gonna tell me you're okay with this? You want him to marry that fucking creep that thinks he's fucking better than everyone else?"
"What Terra is saying is…" Aqua kept her voice even, though the look on her face was similar enough to her lover's. "This isn't for us to judge nor to meddle with. Ven has the right to do whatever he thinks is best, so long as he continues the pilgrimage. This is a summoner's privilege."
Long story short: not only Ventus hadn't ripped fucking Xemnas a new one for this, but Terra and Aqua were actually considering the possibility, as well. This was far more than what Van could put up with and he knew his brain was going to melt and come out through his ears, if he stayed in this room any longer. Darting up from the bed, he left without any further words and slammed the door shut on the way out.
He stormed down the stairs, next, and then out of the inn – already materializing Wayward Wind while looking around for something, anything to hit. A large, empty crate stationed in front of the item shop would have to do, and he struck it with an angry shout. Then again and again and once more, chunks of wood flying all around, only stopping when all that was left of the crate was a pile of trash. The other crate nearby got exactly the same treatment, violent blow after violent blow, till it was as wrecked as the first one.
And yet, by the end of it, Vanitas wasn't feeling much better. Kicking at the wood pieces still so frustratedly, he found a quiet spot at the back of the inn and flopped down on one of the tree roots protruding from the ground.
Fuck…
Fuck everything.
Fuck everyone.
Fuck Xemnas very much, in particular.
And… and fuck Ven, as well! How could he even consider such a sketchy proposal like that? Okay, maybe he didn't want to be rude… but then he could have just refused it politely! Could have said something like no, thank you! Terra and Aqua said that he was privileged and had a right to choose… and it wasn't like Van wanted to take that away, obviously. He didn't want to make Ven's choices for him. He just… hated the fact that Ven was even thinking about it, when his response should have been loud and clear. What was there to think about? He didn't love Xemnas, maybe he didn't even like him… or so Van also wanted to believe.
Fucking hell… he really was jealous, wasn't he?
Just the thought of Ven agreeing to marry Xemnas for whatever reason, just the thought of Xemnas getting to be with Ven and hold him and kiss him and all else… was enough to have Vanitas' blood turned to lava in his veins. And he knew it was ridiculous, because, technically, he and Ven weren't even a thing – not officially, anyway. He had no right to be this upset, because he didn't own Ven and Ven didn't owe him anything. But he couldn't help it… it was eating away at him and it wouldn't stop unless the summoner ditched that fucking maester as he deserved to be.
Groaning as he ran a hand through his hair, Van rested back on the tree trunk and glanced up at the stars that were coming out. In doing so, he also noticed there was light in one of the rooms by the inn's first floor… it was the one right in front of the stairway, wasn't it? Ven's room. Maybe Aqua and Terra had left already? Maybe the conversation would go differently, if it was just the two of them? It was all the encouragement that Van needed to act on his impulse, really. It was either give it a try or go over to Xemnas and do to him the same he'd just done to the crates.
Studying the distance for a moment, which was perfectly accessible, Van did a quick run up the wall and then hopped to grab the side of the small balcony – glad, for once, about the whole summoner privilege, because it meant Ventus got to stay at the big fancy room. The curtains were still partially drawn, so he could peek inside and confirm that, indeed, Ven was on his own now. He was sitting on the bed, already changed into his night clothes and with a brush in hand that he was running over his golden locks… and the sight was enough to make Van's heart squirm all over again.
It took fucking Xemnas to make him realize how hard he was falling
"Hey."
On the other hand, Ven was starting to lose count of how many times his heart had stopped, within the last twelve hours. With wide eyes, he glanced aside to see as Vanitas was now all but entering the room through the balcony, as though it was the most common thing to do and let alone at nightfall.
"…Vani! Are you trying to kill me, today?"
Despite the dark mood still consuming him, Van had to smile.
"Sorry. Just wanted to talk for a bit."
"And you couldn't use the door, like normal people do…? You had to– …actually, how did you get up here?"
"Really wasn't that hard. If I was a kidnapper, I could just grab you and run away, now."
Ventus laughed and shook his head, leaving the brush on the nightstand and turning to his guardian. "Is that what you came here to do?"
Frankly, Van really wanted to say yes. Really wanted to grab Ven and haul off with him somewhere far away – back to Radiant Garden, maybe. Where he wouldn't have to worry about defeating Sin and saving the world and being harassed by sleazy idiots in stupid flowing silky robes. Instead, he sat beside the summoner and gently cradled the back of his neck, leaving a kiss on his lips.
"I came here to apologize."
"You don't have–"
"Shush, I do. I was a jerk and I shouldn't have left like that."
Ven widened his smile a bit more, returning the kiss and adding another one for free, on Van's cheek. "It's all right. It was a long day… for everyone."
With a nod, Vanitas hesitated on what to say next – mainly, because his mind was still a boiling pot of emotions and thoughts, and he didn't want to say anything reckless again and end up unwillingly hurting Ven's feelings for real.
"Still… I shouldn't be mad at you. You did nothing wrong and I also don't wanna come off as an asshole who's trying to tell you what to do. I just… I hate that guy, I really fucking hate him. And I can't stand the thought of him trying anything with you…"
Ven listened attentively, letting his guardian get it off his chest. He was actually really glad that Van was apologizing, even if he wasn't mad, because it only confirmed what he already knew – that, despite the temper and the potty mouth and the tough shell, Vanitas was truly a good and caring person. Still, not even he was as naïve as to believe that the matter was now solved and closed. If anything, it had barely started.
"Thank you, Vani. I know you worry about me, and I know you acted the way you did because you worry about me. But… this isn't something I can just cast aside, you know. As a summoner, I must think of what is better for everyone."
"Even if that means getting married to a complete stranger?"
The summoner's expression flickered, becoming a mix of acceptance and determination. He got up and walked over to the balcony, leaving his hands on the edge as he glanced up at the night sky. "Defeat Sin and bring joy to Spira… get married and bring joy to Spira – these aren't so different, are they? If there is something that I can do, in order to make these sorrowful times a bit easier for the people… maybe I should do it."
"And why does it have to be you? Why can't anyone else do anything to help? You go around doing this pilgrimage, getting ready to face Sin, getting a beating every time you collect an aeon, healing the wounded, sending the dead, giving everyone nice words and nice smiles, being their hope and their strength and all that – and what about what you want? Why do you have to do all this on your own, while the rest of those Yevon shits are sitting on their lazy asses and enjoying the good things in life?
Ven didn't reply to that, and Van, for some reason he couldn't grasp, found himself thinking back on what had happened at the Farplane. That man, whoever that had been, running down the corridor and slashing at warrior monks left and right… somehow, right now, he could truly empathize. He felt like doing exactly the same, to everyone who kept pushing this you're our only hope bullshit on Ven and expecting him to fix all their messes. Everyone who kept taking advantage of his kind heart and his selfless nature.
Also, how come he could suddenly remember so many details, when the pyreflies' display had been so vague and blurry…?
Shrugging it off, he stood up as well and approached Ven, to wrap his arms around him from behind.
"You know my opinion. But… whatever you decide to do, I'll be by your side."
At least, there was solace in knowing that Ven might consider marrying for the good of Spira only. Because it was his duty as a summoner only, much as Vanitas knew where to shove Yevon's holy scriptures, at this point. It had nothing to do with liking fucking Xemnas… right? Right. And, so, he snuggled a little closer and placed a kiss on the back of Ven's neck.
"Thank you, Vani… you're wonderful." Smiling at the kiss, and all the more at the words, Ven turned around and cupped his guardian's cheeks to press their foreheads together, finishing with a kiss on his lips. "I'm going to think about it… and, hopefully, I can make the best decision."
It wasn't ideal, but… it was better than what it'd been before, so Van wasn't going to complain any further. At least, he didn't feel about to implode, anymore. "Time for your beauty sleep, then?"
"And yours! We're heading for the Thunder Plains, in the morning… and, trust me, it's not the nicest place in the world."
The name kinda spoke for itself. Nodding, Van stole one last kiss and then hopped off the balcony, landing easily on the ground below.
"…You could have used the door, like I said."
With a grin, the guardian glanced back up. "What, you don't think this whole scene was hella romantic? I climbed a balcony for you!"
Ven widened his smile even more, till it reached his eyes and crinkled the corners, and blew a kiss. "Sleep well!"
"You too."