Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas. All rights go to Veronica Roth.

Tobias POV

"Make the right choice because the one you think is waiting here for you, isn't. She isn't here Tobias."

"What do you mean she isn't here? Explain, what are you talking about?"

"I can't. I'm sorry. I'm forbidden to explain such things. I have to go now. Bye Tobias and make the right choice."

"Wait! How do I make my choice?"

"If you desire to go to the dead, you think of death. If you desire to live, think of the ones you love. Goodbye now. Our time is running out I love you like my own. Say hello to the living for me!"

Think of those I love. I love Tris. I love Zeke, Christina(unfortunately), Uriah, Will, Shuana, Lynn, Marlene. I love them. I love them all. Come on Tobias, you can do it. Just move a finger. I can't let's start with something easier. Come on Tobias! Open your eyes. For Tris.

My eyes open and I'm laying on a hospital bed on the infirmary. It was that bad. What is wrong with me. What did Natalie mean 'she isn't here'? It doesn't make sense. I saw her laying on the table. Motionless, cold. The thought brings tears to my eyes. Natalie was right I did break the promise Tris and I made. I broke it. I need to try harder. For Tris. For me. For everyone. Next thing I know Hana, Zeke's mom, is in the room. She is a nurse here I remember.

"Your up. How are you feeling?" There's concern laced in her voice and I can see that she was crying earlier. The sight breaks me. She saw me as a son. She forgave me for what I did to Uriah and I pull a stupid stunt like this. Your such and idiot Tobias.

"If we are being honest, I feel guilty."

"What? Why?"

"Because I did this. It was my own choice. I broke a promise. I hurt more than just myself. The list could go on." I tell her.

"It would be a lie to tell you that I understand what your going through, but I want you to know that we're always here for you."

"Thank you."

"Is it alright to bring everyone else in?"

"Yea." And before I know it I'm surrounded by my friends. No,

their my family. I'm surrounded by my family. They all seem relatively happy to see me, we'll all except Christina.

"What the fuck Four?! What the hell was that?!" Yup she's mad.

"Christina..." Will tries to calm her down.

"No, don't 'Christina' me."

"Christina I think you should go. Please." Hana says calmly.

"No need to tell me. I'm oughta here. And Four, don't ever pull this shit again or hell will break lose on you and it won't be the devil that's breaking it lose on you. It will be me!" Ugh, the usual Candor, speaking what's on they mind. Her threat doesn't bother me, I can handle Christina.

Christina POV

That ass. What did he think he was doing? I do feel a little guilty about what I just did, but hey I used to be Candor, ya know where you kind of say anything and everything that's on your mind. I mean seriously he needed it. He needs his ass beat. He needs Tris? So do all of us. We need Uriah too. We all need him. As much as I hate to say it, I need him. Over the past 2 years we've become a family. A family that breaks together. A family that mends together. A family that picks each other up when they fall. Well I guess I just did a sucky job of that. The point is one of us just can't leave like that because their down.

Tris POV

I am currently walking around the Bureau. Thinking. Thinking about everything that has been going on. I can't tell what's happening in the city anymore because they shut the cameras off. I am still really worried about if everyone is okay. I hope I can leave soon. I have been getting stronger and today is my heart monitoring. I didn't resize someone was behind me until I am about to turn the corner and see a glimpse of them. I decide to stop and wait for them to catch up.

"Hello Tris!" Matthew. Why didn't I know.

"Hi Matthew. How have you been doing?"

"Good good. I can see you've been improving a lot."

"Yea. I guess I have."

"What's wrong?" He asks obviously concerned.

"I don't know. I guess I am worried about what's happening in the city." I answer truthfully.

"Please Tris, don't worry about Jose in the city they are safe and sound. Please worry about yourself."

"How do you know if their safe. All the cameras and everything are shut down!" I am almost yelling.

"Tris. Please calm down. We send five people into the city each month to check with the Faction Ambassadors and leaders that everything is alright. One person for each Faction and it just so happens that Caleb is the one for Erudite, and I for Dauntless."

"You go for Dauntless? Have you seen Four at all? Is he all right?"

"I have only seen him once because they say that he resigned from being Faction Leader and when I saw him he looked really distraught. We didn't talk very much, though."

"Thank you." And I start crying. Matthew grabs my shoulder, not enough to hurt me, and pulls me into a hug. And for once I just stand there and sob into his shirt. "Matthew?"

"What." He says softly to me.

"I'm scared."

"Why?" He asks concerned.

"I'm scared I'm not going to make it. That I'm not going to be able to see my friends and family ever again. I know it sounds absurd, but that's what I fear. I'm scared that when I go back, if I can, they will reject me. They won't care about anymore. Or worse they'll shut me out completely. After all I only knew most them for a little while before all this shit happened. I know I'm acting like a child and I know that your going to tell me everything is going to be okay. I know that it's selfish of me to think this way and don't say that doesn't matter, because it does. I was Abnegation after all, even if it was part of some stupid experiment. It's who I am. It's what I've become. The thing that scares me the most is the fact that I don't know if I will be accepted when I get back. I know that whole faction will look at me like I'm crazy. I know some might even take it to lengths as to see a doctor to make sure they aren't crazy. And..." I start sobbing again.

"And your scared Four has moved on. That he won't love or care for you again." I look at him startled. I am scared that might happen. "Well trust me. Four said himself before he left here, that he will never be able to love the way he loved you to anyone else. Even if he has 'moved on' he'd take you back as soon as he got the chance. He'd wrap you in his arms."

"A lot can happen in 2 years Matthew. I do still have my doubts about that and your right I am scared that that might happen. I really honestly hope it doesn't or hasn't. But if it has, if Four has moved on, I will be happy for him. It will be hard, but I'll try my best."

"And Tris?"

"Yea?"

"Please don't give up hope because everything will be okay...eventually."

"I won't give up hope. I. can't."

"That's my girl." He says playfully.

"Well I am Dauntless. I won't let my fears control me. And I am not your girl."

"I know your Fours girl."

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Don't you have your heart monitoring to go to?"

"Oh yea! I completely forgot."

"Come on. I'll walk you." So we walk to the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marlene POV

What Four did made me think. Not of doing that too, but of what people have been dealing with for the past two years. Maybe even longer. What am I kidding of course people have been dealing with this type of stuff for longer. The big part of it is, which people decided to act on it, like Four did, and which ones succeeded. It's so sad that I don't even want to think about it. Yet that's all I find myself thinking about.

"Hey. What's up?" I jump. Lynn. "Whoa."

"Holy shit Lynn. You scared me."

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were so deep in thought."she says defensively.

"No it's fine."

"So what were you thinking about?"

"Oh, just about what Four did and what other people must be going through because of the war and the loved ones they lost." I start crying and Lynn pulls me into her arms in an embrace. Lynn was never the sentimental one, but I'm grateful for it now.

"Hey, we're going to be okay. We'll work this out. As a family. We're going to get through this. Together."

"I know and I now it's not very Dauntless of me to cry over such little things, but I can't help it." With that she pushes me back a little to look into my eyes.

"I'm surprised at you. I can't believe you think that. You should know that it isn't the fact if we hold our true feelings in that makes us Dauntless, but the fact that we can grow stronger and become braver."

"Wow Lynn. I'm not used to you being sentimental like this."

"Oh shut up. And I'm warning you don't tell the others or else." I smirk at her threat.

"Or else what?" I taunt.

"Or I'll wipe that smirk off your face." We both start laughing. And for that short period of time it feels like everything's back to normal. Like it was before the war. But of course it isn't. Nothing's back to normal. And I don't think it ever will be.

:( it seems so depressing.