He's not difficult to spot. The fluffy blonde head stands out in this semi-empty library.
There's an acolyte busy with cataloging volumes and putting them in place, who must be the one in charge here. There's also a priest practically snoring over the scripts he's pretending to study. Another priest, examining maps and writing tips on a notebook as wrinkled as his skin. And a group of kids dressed in the same fashion as the priests (which you've always found vaguely disturbing), reunited around one of the tables and poring over a big, large book that probably weighs more than all of them combined.
You have nothing against libraries, really… though this isn't the most interesting place you could be at, either.
On the other hand, you don't like this temple.
Which is hardly surprising, because you don't like any of them.
It's your first time visiting and you've been here for less than five minutes, but you've already decided that you hate everything. The flowery incenses fill the air and make you nauseated, and the marble flooring is so squeaky clean that you don't understand how people don't slip and break a bone all the time. Also, there's way too many candles everywhere. Who the hell still uses candles? Especially in Radiant Garden, a machina city basically coated in wondrous artificial lights.
So, why are you here?
You could be picking a fight with someone who so-much looked at you the wrong way, or you could be gambling and carelessly throwing your gil away, or you could be getting started on your first bottle of the day… Instead, you're looking for an apprentice summoner whose name you still don't know, whom you've called weird and who's called you rude back, who's one of the temple flunkies you generally despise and who probably despises back mercenaries such as yourself. It's a mix of ingredients that has everything to go wrong, and maybe that is why you're here. Because you either wanna see it explode on your face for good, or you wanna learn more about this oddly and unexpectedly interesting person.
Now, the first challenge is to not look like a complete creep who's stalking him and following him everywhere… which, after that hilarious (in your opinion, anyway) incident at Bevelle Temple, might require some ingenuity. That and to pretend you're not a fish out of water in such a holy place and stand out like a baby shoopuf in a porcelain shop. In fact, everyone else is already throwing judging frowns and scowls in your direction, but that doesn't deter you. It never did.
Either way, subtlety turns out to not be needed, because he's so entertained with what he's reading that he doesn't even notice you, as you walk nonchalantly over to his study table. No, wait… he's not reading. Now that you're this close, you can see what he's doing behind that pile of books beside him – he's drawing something on a sheet of paper, using a quill and a pot of black ink. One of those weird temple symbols. And he still doesn't notice you, as you sit down right in front of him, and so you take the chance to observe him for a little bit longer. And, yeah… okay, so much for not looking like a creep, but hey. It's not your fault that he's so quirky and manages to pique your attention so easily and without even trying. And observing him is a lot less problematic than making lewd comments about his nicely shaped thighs, right? Right.
Come to think of it, you actually never saw anyone using quill and ink. Is it a fancy summoner thing, or is it just him? You notice his slender fingers, the neat short nails, the elegant but firm manner in which he holds the quill, you notice the porcelain-pale tone of the skin that starts at his wrist and continues under the loose sleeve of his robe – today, it's silk in a very light shade of beige, with equally light golden details embroidered along the hem. You notice the bracelet he wears around that wrist, which is a silver chain holding together a series of tiny, multi-colored gems. Another silver chain links that bracelet to the ring around his middle finger, crafted in a similar fashion but with only one gem, of a deep green that reminds you of the color of his eyes.
He doesn't look like he's gonna acknowledge you any time soon, though, and patience is not a virtue of yours, and that's why you decide to break the silence.
"What're you up to?"
And you regret it immediately.
He was, indeed, so focused on what he was doing that your casual greeting startles him, and suddenly there's an ugly smudge of ink ruining his hard work. He looks at you with wide eyes for an instant, then looks back at his art and frowns with a quiet oh no, and now you want to punch yourself on the face for not having predicted this was gonna happen.
"…Fuck, I'm sorry. That was really fucking stupid of me."
Way to go and show him that you're not as much of a jerk as he might be thinking.
"It's all right… I'll start over. I need more practice, anyway."
He proceeds to fold that sheet in half and then again, far too carefully for something that will end up in a trash bin. And you notice the fingers moving just as elegantly as before, running over the paper and tucking it away, and how the gems glisten along with his motions like a miniature rainbow. It's almost mesmerizing and, again, he's not even trying. As he prepares another blank sheet, he curiously glances up at you.
"What are you doing here?"
Plopping your elbow on the table, you rest your chin on the palm of that hand and simply shrug the explanations away – rather answering with a question of your own, because that's a lot easier and also a lot less awkward. "What are you practicing for?"
"My exam. It's at the end of this week."
"Like… the exam to become a summoner? Didn't know that you guys gotta be good at drawing."
He snickers, hearing that. "It's not like that. We must know how to distinguish the glyphs of every temple, and how to create them as well. I was practicing the glyph of Bevelle… It's always the one that gives me trouble, I don't know why."
"Maybe 'cause Bevelle is a dump. Trust me, I was born and raised there. It fucking sucks."
"Really, you're from the capital? I wouldn't have guessed that!"
Again, you shrug and you don't look impressed by your own hometown at all – much less proud of it. Sure, Bevelle isn't really a dump… if anything, it's the wealthiest city in Spira and filled to the brim with lofty buildings and housing. But it's also filled with useless, greedy people who claim to be so developed and so civilized and so superior, yet all their progress is sucked out of slave-driving the Bedore into building all the machina and technology they need for their shallow, lazy lives. Not that every other city doesn't do the same, pretty much, but it's particularly bad and particularly hypocritical at Bevelle.
Anyway, figuring that this is a chance as good as any to finally make introductions, you hold out your free hand for him. "Name's Niyuhs."
He smiles and holds your hand with his own. The one with the bracelet. "Nice to meet you, Niyuhs. I'm Ennel, but everyone calls me Enn."
You expected him to have some sort of pompous name – again, because you were so used to it back at Bevelle. Instead, it's such a simple one and you rather like it. Still holding his hand, smooth skin on worn-out black leather, you shake it playfully and just to hear the gentle, happy clinking of the gems.
"You're like a walking windchime."
Promptly, his smile grows a notch more self-assured. "Wind is my element! And it's the spirit I'll bond with, for the exam."
"You're gonna bond with the wind?"
"Yes, through bonding with Tiamat." You must be looking absolutely clueless about all that, because soon he's explaining it. Still, his tone is far from pretentious or patronizing – it's actually rather enthusiastic, like he's really into what he's now talking about. "She's the six-headed dragoness, guardian of wind, air, and learning. If I'm able to summon her, I will pass that part of the exam."
In the span of three seconds, you've gone from clueless to downright baffled. "They're gonna make you summon a dragon?" …That can't end well. Aren't dragons supposed to feed on people, and aren't apprentice summoners supposed to be inexperienced? How are they expected to be able to control a freaking dragon?
"Well… not exactly. The requirements only state that we must be able to bond with an aeon and summon it. It can be any aeon, we just have to prove that we can do it – that's what being a summoner is all about, in the end. Most people start with the gentle ones, like Carbuncle or the Moogles."
"Then why the hell are you going for a dragon with six heads…? What if that thing eats you?"
Now, he laughs. "Then I'd be sorry for her, because I bet I taste really bad! But she won't. I've talked to her more than once, and she was the one encouraging me to summon her. I'm pretty sure I can do it."
"…You've talked to a dragon."
"Dragoness. And, yes, I have. I've talked to Bahamut, as well – the King of Dragons. But that's gonna require more practice. He said I still need to improve my magic and he's right. That's why I've been working on this–" and he points to the gem embedded in his ring, "–It's a peridot. It enhances magic stats and spell casting, but I'm still not done powering it up properly. It was Tiamat who taught me about it, too."
A small part of you is now wondering if every of those gems enhances one thing or the other, but the big part of you is actually wondering if this boy here is right in the head. He really doesn't sound like he's lying or making up any of this, and he looks so proud of it to boot… but, for sure, you're gonna need a moment to process the fact that people can talk to dragons. Or some people can, anyway. Or maybe it's just him. He seems to do and say and be a lot of things that most people can't and aren't.
And maybe that's what prompts your next comment.
"You're freaking crazy… especially for someone so cute and small."
He laughs again but, this time, he grabs one of the books from atop the pile and gets very invested in a random page. Almost like he suddenly needs something to look at, other than you. "Are you making fun of me?"
It's a strange thing to say and, for a moment, you have to worry that maybe your flirting game has gone to shit. Still, you smile despite the puzzled furrowing of your brows. "Because I think you're cute? I mean… fair enough. You probably hear this every day, so I guess I'm gonna have to try harder next time."
His smile becomes a lot more bashful, and he shakes his head slowly – still not looking up from the book. "I dunno where you got that from… but I promise you, I'm not that popular at all. I have, like… two friends."
"Pffft! I bet you got everyone in your summoner class chasing after you."
"It's not called a summoner class, it's–" He finally looks at you again, but gives up before finishing that sentence. "…Anyway. No, I don't!"
How come he sounded so completely confident of being able to summon a freaking six-headed dragon goddess or whatever she is, but he's putting up such a fight over accepting a tiny little compliment? Of all the things to be insecure about, you really don't think it should be his looks getting to him. Or, well… maybe he's not beautiful in that traditional sense of having a perfect gorgeous face and a perfect gorgeous body, with perfect measurements everywhere. He's short and skinny, he's got soft features that actually make you wonder how old he really is, and that spiky haircut with the bangs falling on his eyes all the time isn't exactly sexy. But he is hella cute, and you personally never liked perfect people and their perfect beauty, as it is.
Also, he seems to get flustered so easily and it's amusing to watch, and it's making you want to keep teasing him more and more.
"Fine. Then I'm gonna call you cute till you accept that you are."
"…Fine, then!" And he rolls his eyes very pointedly, but the smile is back. "And I'm gonna prove to you that I'm really boring to be with!"
"You can be boring and cute at the same time." And now you win, because he looks helplessly like he has no smart comeback for that, so you go for a bolder move. Just because you can. And because, if the idiots in his summoner class don't appreciate him, you're gonna prove them all wrong. You've always loved proving entitled idiots wrong. "Also – I'm taking you home, today."
It succeeds in catching him off guard. "I'm sorry…?"
"When you're done here, I'll walk you home. Then you can say you have three friends."
"But I'm home already. I live here."
Your turn to be surprised. "You live in the temple?"
"Mhm. My parents died when I was still a baby, so I was raised in the orphanage."
One thing that the two of you have in common, it seems – though, in your case, it's more like your parents are dead to you and you are dead to them. It's a long story, one you don't feel like dwelling in right now. Or ever. So you stand up and walk over to his side, holding out your hand.
"Then let's go."
"Let's go where…?"
"Doesn't matter. Anywhere. You deserve a break from studying."
He hesitates, looking between you and the books, but eventually holds your hand back and puts a smirk of triumph on your face.
"Let me just gather my things."
"I'll help."
And by help you mean taking the pile of books to go dump it near the acolyte, who's still doing her cataloguing, to deal with. If she works here, that's what she's paid for. Without giving him the chance to comment on your problem-solving skills, once he's got his notebooks and pens, you take him by the hand once more and lead the way. Though, once outside, you realize that's probably a bit too cheesy and you let it go, and return your hands to your pockets. It's funny how he's so comfortable with things that can easily make you cringe, but also so awkward about things that are completely natural to you. It's like the two of you are opposites. The inverted mirror image of each other.
"How 'bout we go for a snack? My treat."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I eat like a fiend!"
He laughs brightly as he says that, and somehow it's so easy to laugh along with him – even for a complete grouch like you. You're one hundred percent sure he's exaggerating, however, because there's no way someone so tiny can eat that much. If only you knew how wrong you're about to be proven, as he heads for the ice cream stand across the street.
"Good morning, Mrs. Chana! How are you today?" From the way he greets the owner, a middle-aged woman with brown hair smeared with gray streaks and big, friendly blue eyes and an even bigger, toothy smile, it's obvious that he comes here often.
"Enn, dear! I am quite well, and you? What'll you be having today?"
"I'm good, too! Just studying for my exam, as you know… Give me the usual, please!"
You get distracted for a moment, looking at the menus and posters, and honestly feeling disgusted at everything that's for sale – sweets and candy were never your thing. There's some kind of ridiculous cups that you can only assume are meant for children, because they're shaped like animals and flowers and other similar things… Which is why, the moment you look at him again and realize he's holding one shaped like a star, your jaw drops. Not only that, it's filled with at least three scoops of multi-colored ice cream and covered with different berries and marshmallows and so much caramel syrup that it could have been hilarious, if it wasn't absolutely obnoxious. And, just like how it was about the dragons, he grins at you like it's the most normal thing in this world.
"I told you that I eat like a fiend!"
You laugh and cringe at the same time, as he shoves the first spoonful in his mouth and looks so delighted.
"How can you eat that and not vomit…?"
"What, it's amazing! Mrs. Chana makes the best ice cream you'll ever have in your life!"
"…Yeah, I'm not a fan."
The lady doesn't look offended in the slightest. Actually, what she does is to prepare one of the simple cones, with a scoop of something very green and with tiny black-ish spots, that she covers in something else that is suspiciously discolored. Then she tops it with a biscuit cut in the shape of a tiny kitchen knife, cuter than any biscuit has the right to be. "Try this one, then! I promise you there's nothing sweet about it – I call it the Everyone's Grudge. If you don't like it, you don't have to pay."
You don't trust any of what you're currently staring at, but she seems so confident that you can't help but give it the benefit of the doubt. And, as you tentatively lick at it with the very tip of your tongue, you have to admit – it does taste fucking amazing. It's bitter for the most part, with a very soft tinge of salty, and it tastes like an improbable mix of lemon and peppermint and coffee.
"Lady, you're a genius. This is awesome!"
"See? What did I tell you, she's the best!"
Mrs. Chana cheerfully puffs out her chest with her hands on her hips, but this morning is still far from being over. Because, as you head over to the register to pay, she is now giving you both a very smug look.
"This is one handsome boyfriend you got for yourself, Enn!"
He practically chokes on the ice cream, and turns as red as the strawberry he was about to munch on. "…He's not–"
But you don't give him the chance to recover. "I'm not his boyfriend. Not yet."
And he gives you the same look he did ten minutes ago, when you called him cute – as if you've just grown a second head and are on your way to become the next Tiamat – but Mrs. Chana is beaming like one of the neon signs near the stadium, as she hears your answer. "Good, you take good care of him! Enn is a sweetheart, he deserves someone who'll make him very happy and treat him like a prince."
This isn't how you expected your day to develop, after deciding on a whim to go look for him in the temple library… but, definitely, you are not complaining and this lady here just restored your faith on mankind a little bit. After paying, you offer her a final grin. "You're a real one, Mrs. Chana. I'll be stopping by every day, too."
"You're always welcome here, darling!"
It is a very rare thing, if not unheard of, for you to warm up to a stranger so fast. Usually, you don't even bother with saying good day, whenever you're out to eat (more accurately: to drink) or to buy stuff. There's something about Ennel, though, that seems to bring out the good in people. Even someone like yourself, who admittedly doesn't have much good to be found. The same Ennel who's still giving you a look that is half-curious and half-confused, stuffing his face with that awful pile of sweetness, as you two walk away.
"Why did you tell her that?"
"Do you always take jokes so seriously?"
Have you mentioned that getting out of tricky questions by throwing back more questions is one of your talents? Thing is… you told her that because yes. Because why not. Maybe because he's so easy to tease, and maybe because you wanted to see how he'd react to it. Definitely not because you were serious about it. Who the hell dates a summoner, right? Even if this is, by far, the nicest one you've met. And the cutest.
"…Well. Okay." He doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't look any less confused, either – and you are suddenly appreciating how expressive he is, as well. How every emotion shows so genuinely on his face. "Thank you for the ice cream, but I have to go back to study."
"What's the rush? Didn't you say the exam is at the end of the week?"
"Yes, but I want to be well prepared."
"Or else the world's gonna end, if you fail?"
"No…" Again, too expressive for his own good. Right now, it's so obvious that he's holding back a more heated response, for being so damn polite. "But Master Yu Yevon expects a lot of me and I don't want to disappoint him. Being his apprentice is a rare opportunity, I can't waste it."
"Oh, so you're only doing this to kiss up someone's ass. And here I was, thinking that being a summoner was your big dream and all that." At this point, you're prodding at him for no real good reason. Just to see how far his patience can bend before it breaks. Because it's amusing, because you can, because you're so used to being bitter and unfriendly by default. Because you've never met anyone who deserves to be treated differently.
It seems to be working, and there's a shadow of annoyance darkening the green of his eyes… Though, as you're convinced that he's finally going to snap and yell at you, what he does is to turn around and head over to the trash bin nearby, where he drops the empty cup. And you take a two-seconds pause just to appreciate how scaringly fast he gobbled down so much ice cream. "Have a good day, sir." Saying that, in the most formal tone, he starts walking back to the temple.
"It's the third time that you walk out on me. Can't you be more original?"
"Maybe because you're still so immature!"
Granted, you've heard a great load of insults before, but being called "immature" is a first. How can he sound cute even while trying to diss someone? Laughing, you quickly run back to cut his way and get in front of him, after tossing what's left of your own ice cream at the same bin. It actually lands on the pavement, instead, but you're far from caring. "And you act like an old man. An old man with a baby face."
"No, I don't! And I don't have a baby face!" The halfhearted manner in which he glares at you does very little to help his case. Same for the flush of irritation tingeing his usually pale cheeks, making his freckles stand out a lot more. And the way in which his lips curl into a pout.
"Yes, you do, Your Holiness." This is actually a good one. You gotta remember this one, for future teasing. And you aren't even gonna bother processing the fact that you're already anticipating more future encounters. "And I'm still your Friend nr. 3. No take backs."
From annoyance to disbelief and, finally, the scowl breaks and his smile is back on his face. He rolls his eyes, as he clutches the notebooks tighter against his chest, and gives your shoulder a playful little bump with his own, as he walks past. "Fine. Have a good day, Niyuhs."
"You too, Ennel."
"Enn! You can call me Enn."
It took Vanitas a moment to realize what was tickling his nose, almost to the point of sneezing. As he slowly opened his eyes to find a mess of golden blonde locks, though, it became as obvious as it was heartwarming. Ven's hair still had a sort of earthly smell to it, after their little outdoors adventure of the night before… and Van closed his eyes again, with a smile, as he relived those memories still so fresh. Half of him wanted to scream in joy because it'd finally happened, and the other half was still trying to believe that it did happen. The third half, meanwhile, was trying with all its might to ignore Ven's decision to continue with the pilgrimage. Definitely, too much of a web of emotions to be disentangled this early in the morning, so he was quickly deciding to just snuggle into Ven and doze off for a bit longer…
…Or he would have, if it wasn't for the suddenly growing sensation of pins and needles in his arm.
Said arm was basically Ven's hostage, Van was realizing now that he was more properly awake, because the summoner was clinging to it in his sleep and, while he was small enough to usually be moved without difficulty, at the moment he was dead weight. As Van tried to shift and make it more comfortable for the both of them, Ventus immediately inched even closer, with a quiet noise of protest, and this time he clung to his guardian's neck and buried his face there.
Clearly, it was in Van's best interest to accept his fate.
"So eager…"
Said in a much different tone, for a much different reason, but the sentiment was the same as last night's – and so was Van's smirk, as his legs lazily laced up with Ven's under the covers. And it was a nice excuse to appreciate everything good that he had despite the world currently falling apart, and to enjoy Ven's soft skin as it brushed against his, and to listen to his even breathing as their hearts beat so close to each other… At least, up until the moment when Flood decided to pounce him from over the nightstand.
"…Where did you come from, you little pest?"
Never mind the gasp of startle, Van now had to laugh quietly as he shoo'd her butt away from his face. So far, she'd been the only one using his chest for a pillow, and the look of shocked betrayal on her face, over the present situation, made it very obvious that she wasn't happy about having to share that privilege. With a purr-y growl, she folded her little arms in defiance and turned around to glare at him, demanding explanations.
"C'mon, don't be like that… You're my wingwoman! Remember we started talking thanks to you?"
It felt like a whole century ago. It actually felt like it belonged in a different lifetime, that night at Besaid… The feast and the bonfire, Flood snuggling up on his lap, Ven talking to him for the first time and immediately believing him, despite the lopsided looks of the rest of the villagers. If Vanitas was a sappy person (which he wasn't, of course), he might even say that all of this was a story of promised lovers, like those in romance books. That he and Ventus were meant to find each other, no matter where or when, regardless of everything else, as if their souls were tied together by an invisible string.
Lazy morning thoughts.
"And we still got stuff to do. You're gonna help me think of a way to not let him die."
Coincidence or not, that's when Flood softened again – reacting to his emotions, as she always seemed to do. Heaving a sigh, she patted Ven's head a few times and then hopped back to the nightstand, and, from there, she disappeared outside through the small gap of the airship's window. Maybe because of the talking and pouncing, Ven was soon stirring awake as well and, as he rolled on his back, Van was finally able to move his arm – though he was also quick to catch Ven in his hold again and to pull him close.
"My turn to not let you go."
Not so sure what that was about, Ven smiled sleepily anyway as he rubbed the drowsiness off his eyes, gladly snuggling into his guardian's toned chest. Murmuring a good morning, he breathed in happily and gave himself a chance to appreciate the present moment, before anything else. I never expected any of this to happen at all was the least that could be said about the past few days, for the good and for the bad… and trying to ground himself back in reality again, now, tasted as bitter as it did sweet. The decision was made and Ven had no intention of going back on it, but having a clear heart didn't make it any easier – not for himself and, particularly, even less for his guardians and friends. And he didn't even want to think about Roxas' reaction, yet. Tilting his head a bit, Ven glanced through the window at the peak of Mount Gagazet, barely distinguishable in the distance of the far north.
"It's going to be a long day."
Van's dark eyebrows furrowed in a frown, hearing that, as his hold instinctively became a bit tighter. Every day was going to be long from there on… long and difficult and tormenting. But, at the same time, it was going to be far too short, for someone who had a countdown above his head and must come up with some sort of miraculous solution as soon as possible. "Yeah."
That quiet, feeble answer had Ven's heart feeling like a sponge that'd been squished out of all the water – all the more because there was nothing that he could do to soothe it. Neither of them had any illusions at this point, and the best they could do was to cherish every single moment together that they still had left. Was this how his father had felt too, upon reaching this final stretch of the pilgrimage? Had High Summoner Eraqus, back then still only a disgraced low-rank summoner who'd married an Al Bhed woman, been tempted to turn away and go back home? Or had he endured without hesitating? If only Ven could ask him, and listen to his wise advice… Since he couldn't, he eventually sat up and stretched his arms above his head with a little noise. Delaying things would only make him feel more anxious.
"I'm gonna tell them, during breakfast. My decision." Way to go and rain on everyone's parade and morning cereal and toast, really, but the sooner would be the better. It wasn't the kind of news that Ven could hide in order to keep his loved ones from worrying, even if he really wished he could. "They're probably gonna think I'm silly… after everything that's happened. And they're gonna be upset. I wish I could make this easier for them."
"There you go again. Worrying about everyone else instead of yourself."
Ven glanced over his shoulder, smiling despite his lover's apparently crude tone. "Is that a bad thing?"
Vanitas' frown darkened and turned into an actual glare. Yes, it was a terrible and fucking stupid thing, that's what he wanted to immediately say. Ven's kind and selfless heart was his greatest glory and his greatest tragedy. What was the point of saving the world, if he wouldn't be a part of it anymore? Van knew for a fact that he had no use for a world without Ventus, and he didn't even care how selfish or cruel or maybe borderline insane this might sound. It was a sort of longing that he couldn't explain, that he couldn't truly understand to start with. Almost as if this wasn't the first time that he was faced with the threat of losing the only person he'd ever truly loved. Almost like all of this had happened before – like he'd had the chance to save Ven, and he'd failed horridly.
"…It's weird."
"What is?"
Instead of replying, Van sat up as well and stared blankly at the floor for a moment longer – and, somehow, found himself thinking about last night's dream. It'd been a rather idle one, but it'd combined a lot of things and memories and hopes in an exquisite way. Radiant Garden, studying to be a summoner, ice cream, the silk robe, one of the gems that was part of that staff that Roxas had customized, dragons, banter and teasing, the temple, drawing the glyphs… The Ven in his dream was still so sweet, so humble, so caring, so determined, with that same sort of bright nature that made him such a force to be reckoned with though he couldn't notice himself how fucking astonishing he really was. It's like Van's mind had put together an alter-ego of the home he wanted to return to, with an alter-ego of the company he wanted to bring along. Even an alter-ego of himself, accurate in everything except for the name.
Who the hell was called Niyuhs.
That was such a dumb name.
"It's been just a couple months… but I feel like I've known you my whole life."
Ven's eyes fluttered closed, as his guardian brought a hand to brush the messy blonde bangs off his face – then leaving his own hand over Vani's, as it rested on his cheek. "I feel the same. I feel–" Pursing his lips, he rubbed gently at the back of that hand with his thumb, letting his gaze wander around the gold of Van's irises. "I feel like I've known you from even before that. I don't know where or when. And I don't believe in destiny, because I rather believe that everyone is free to make their own choices and carve their own path, but… it feels a bit like that. Like I was meant to find you, and you were meant to find me. Even last night–" Now he paused for a brief instant, smiling bashfully. "It felt so familiar… you know? Even if we never did it before, and I never did anything like that with anyone else – it felt like I knew exactly what to do. Like I knew everything you like. And it felt so…" So good? So amazing? So delightful? All of those were fitting words, but there was one that fit better than all the rest. "It felt so right."
Listening in silence, Vanitas nodded at the end. A perfect description of what he felt, just as much, and so he didn't bother with adding anything else – instead crossing the distance left between them to capture Ven's lips with his own. At least, while they kissed, they didn't have to think about a not-so-cheery future that would hit them on the face sooner than later. And that would rob them of everything beautiful they'd been creating together.
The weather around the Calm Lands was such an irony.
Sunny and bright that it was, and it honestly pissed off Van.
Sure, the climate was getting colder the farther north they went, and it already had nothing to do with the semi-tropical heat of Besaid and Kilika, and these lands were mostly barren and with little vegetation to be found… but the sky was still so blue and so clear, and the sun was still so shiny, and the grass of these plains that stretched out into the horizon was still so green. The ruins of Hollow Bastion lied by the other side of the sacred mountain of the Ronso tribe… but, apparently, the Calm Lands didn't care one bit for that. As though they weren't, in fact, a deceptively peaceful prelude to the miserable death that awaited a summoner at the end of the pilgrimage.
"There's no more cities or villages beyond this point. You better stock up well."
Despite his foul mood, though, Van had to smile as he heard that – and glanced over to find Roxas practically punching a final pack of Al Bhed Potions into the party's inventory, as to find room for them among the other eighty-nine already crammed in there. Between that and an almost absurd quantity of Tents, Ethers, Phoenix Downs, and Remedies, they surely wouldn't be lacking for healing items. At least that. Silver linings.
"Yeah. Thanks."
Neither of them was in much of a chatty mood, for all the obvious reasons. Regardless, Roxas was acting awfully resigned about it… Maybe because he'd already expected his twin's final decision, or maybe because he'd reached the point of feeling so helpless that he didn't have it in him to argue, anymore. Still, Vanitas had to feel sympathy towards poor Lea and everything he'd be putting up with in the short-term future, because no doubt this was merely an explosion waiting to happen. A bomb silently ticking off.
Roxas' calm was as deceptive as that of these plains.
Indeed, Ven had announced his decision of continuing the pilgrimage during breakfast… and, even if everyone was prompt to support him, Terra and Aqua most of all, it was undeniable that a dark cloud now loomed above the Fahrenheit – never mind the stupid bright sky. Cid and Rin had arrived in the meantime and, truly, five minutes around the Al Bhed leader sufficed to understand whom Roxas had learned his loud and boisterous attitude from. Cid's fierce yelling and barking had been as good as nothing, though, because Ven remained unwavering in his resolve. Eventually, Cid had quit his case and, after catching up with everything that'd happened at Home, only requested to take his nephew out for a walk around the plains, before the party left.
The two of them were currently standing atop the cliff by the exit that led back to Macalania, laughing and chatting as if nothing had happened. Vanitas was glad for that, of course, but he was also curiously studying Cid's appearance. The twins looked nothing like him, what with his rough features, dark eyebrows and neck stubble, and a bald head with the word "Love" tattooed in Al Bhed. Then again, they didn't look like Eraqus either, from what Van had seen of his statues at the temples and the tales he kept hearing. Ven and Roxas possibly had taken after their mother, and this somehow made Van itch to know what she'd once looked like and, even more, what kind of person she had been. Would she have also supported Ven in his choice? Or would she have sided with her brother and younger son? Futile questions that Van could only wonder about and that, really, were no more than an excuse to keep his mind from much darker thoughts.
"They're lucky to not have been pounced by a fiend yet. It's been a while." Still staring at Ventus and Cid, whilst sitting on the surface of one of the airship's exterior ramps, Van randomly tossed the otherwise quiet chat in this new direction.
"What are you, dumb? That's not luck." Finally done with bullying the poor potions, Roxas looked up with a smile, right before slapping a fist proudly on his chest. "That's one of the new rings I customized for Ven, it's got the No Encounters ability. Actually–" Saying that, he pulled one of his capsules out of a pocket, which poofed into a shield. "This one's for you. I gotta remember to give Terra and Aqua their own, too."
Now this was something that Vanitas hadn't expected. He and Roxas became close friends in a record time and under very peculiar circumstances, but he couldn't have possibly imagined that the younger twin would bother to craft a present for him, as well. Standing back up, he accepted the shield and took a good look at it, as it snuggly fit around his left forearm. It had a first layer of metal shaped like a perfect circle, with a second layer on top and surrounding the first one that seemed to be carved out of some sort of rock, its protruding ends making the shield resemble a sun. It was also slightly smaller than the one that Van had bought at the Lake Macalania travel agency, but it really didn't matter at all because it was customized with a fantastic Auto-Haste and had a 20% boost to both defense and magic defense. Swaying that arm around experimentally, Van couldn't keep the grin of awe off his face.
"Dude… how did you even make this? It's fucking awesome!"
"Damn right it is!" Roxas wasn't even trying to look modest about it. "Trust me, you're gonna need it. It gets fucking tough, from here on."
"Have you ever been beyond the Calm Lands?"
"No… I don't think anyone has, since vydran [father]. It's sacred ground and the Ronso protect their mountain fiercely. And it's filled with ridiculously powerful fiends and the snowstorms never relent, so it's not really a place for tourists anyway."
Roxas, by far, wasn't one to guard respect for Yevon traditions – therefore, if even he was talking of this place with such reverence, Van thought it truly might be worthy of respect. Still captivated by his formidable new shield, he cracked a joke just for the heck of it.
"Tougher fiends than around here? 'Cause these are pretty freaking nasty already. I dunno who's the idiot who named this as a calm place."
The younger twin smiled at that, in a surprisingly gentle manner that, for a moment, had him looking exactly like Ven – save for the color of the eyes. "This is where the Machina War took place, a thousand years ago, between Bevelle and Radiant Garden. The war reduced it to this wasteland we have now… and eventually it became the place where the high summoners fight Sin, too. Here, there's no risk of casualties happening or anything else getting caught up in the battle. So… after a summoner acquires the Final Aeon, they return here and this is where they wait for Sin. If they succeed and Sin is defeated, a new Calm is born – that's why it's got this name."
Now Vanitas knew why this place provoked such a visceral hatred in him. For all intents and purposes, this was where Ven would return to die. And then everyone in Spira would be saved thanks to his sacrifice, and they would cheer and sing praise for him and talk of how great he was, despite right now branding him a filthy traitor. Roxas must know what his brother's guardian was thinking and feeling, though, because he carried on and left a comforting little pat on Van's back, despite looking just as forlorn.
"Since I can't stop him, I can at least make sure he's well equipped for it. And you better toughen the hell up as well, 'cause I'm counting on you to cut through those fiends. If you let anything happen to him before it's over, I'm gonna fucking bury you under that mountain myself!"
This was the Roxas that Van knew, and he had to smile as he reached over to ruffle his hair like he so often would do to Ventus. Still, even if it was intended as a lighthearted gesture, at the end he found himself pulling Roxas into a tight hug. "It's not gonna be over… I'll think of something. I dunno what yet, but I'll think of a way. I won't let him die… I promise you."
People say that, if you repeat a lie many times, eventually it becomes a truth. Not that anything about Van's intention was a lie, but… right there and then, he really wanted to believe that such a power existed and could provide a miracle. There weren't many things left to believe on, after all, let alone for someone who'd always been so faithless.
After leaving the airship behind and bidding farewell to their friends, Ven, Aqua, Terra, and Van still had a long walk across the Calm Lands ahead of them, and it was only by the dawn of the third day that they finally arrived at the base of Mount Gagazet. Gradually, the grass had been giving way to snowy rock, and the temperature seemed to be dropping with each step farther north. As the party headed towards the Sacred Gate, however, a deep voice echoed in the chilly air.
"Summoner Ventus and guardians, leave here at once!"
They stopped before Kelk Ronso, who was now standing in front of the gate and was escorted by a multitude of imposing guards. Tall and broad and covered in thick but beautiful fur, with lion-like features and mane and limbs and a large, sharp horn on the forehead, the Ronso tribe had guarded the mountain for a thousand years and ensured that only the worthiest of summoner parties would pass through. As the former maester was quick to tell them, though his austere tone made it sound more like a personal attack – if not a threat.
"Gagazet is Ronso land, sacred mountain of Yevon. The mountain will not bear the footsteps of infidels. Enemy of Yevon is enemy of Ronso... Leave, traitors!"
Despite already an elder, Kelk Ronso towered even over Terra and Ven was barely as tall as his waist, but the summoner didn't let himself be intimidated. He gave his guardians a knowing look and then took a few steps forward and offered the former maester a respectful bow. Regardless, he held back no words and spoke from the heart.
"I have cast aside Yevon, and I follow the temple no more. They've warped the teachings and betrayed us all."
In response to such bold statement, a wave of shocked murmurs and whispers began among the Ronso. More members of the tribe had gathered, not only guards but also women and children, and their expressions as they stared down the so-called traitors varied from disgusted to bewildered. And Ven breathed in deeply, releasing a puff of warm air that faded into the cold of the mountain, but he didn't waver. This wasn't the time to hesitate.
"Your Grace, if I may… Have you not also turned your back on Bevelle? They betrayed you as well, and they discarded you after they had no more use for you… Yet, you guard Gagazet as a Ronso, not as a maester. I am the same. I would much rather have your blessing, and pass through the gate peacefully… But, if you stand in our way, we will not flee. We will fight and continue on."
The gossiping was now turned to a mix of outraged snarling and reluctant silence, and the maester himself took a moment to mull over Ven's words. Although he didn't look so angry anymore… if anything, he looked puzzled. Almost like he couldn't truly believe what he'd just heard, which reflected on his heated tone.
"You have been branded a traitor… but, still, you would fight Sin? Lost to the temple, hated by the people, yet you continue your pilgrimage? Everything lost! What do you fight for?"
They were clearly on opposite sides, but Vanitas had to empathize with Kelk's reasoning – if they were to trade places, he was sure he'd also be staring at Ven the same way and questioning his sanity. Why fight for the world when the world has turned its back on you? At the same time, though, he also had a good guess of what the summoner's answer was about to be.
"I fight for Spira."
There it was. And Van wouldn't need to look at Ven's face to know the smile that he was now wearing.
With that smile, anything could be saved.
"The people long for the Calm, and I can give it to them. It's all I can give. Defeating Sin, ending pain… this, I can do. And I will."
Kelk Ronso remained silent for an instant longer, until heaving a loud sigh of his own. "Even sacrificing yourself?" He shook his head, then, with an unreadable expression… though soon turned around and stepped away from the gate, addressing his people. "Ronso, let them pass!"
Immediately, they obeyed and the path cleared, and Kelk turned to face Ven once more.
"Summoner Ventus, your words ring clear in my soul. Small voice, small frame… but a will that towers over Gagazet's peak. Your will is stronger than steel. Tempered steel, that even the mightiest Ronso could not hope to bend. Ventus… we bow to your will. The sacred heights of Gagazet welcome you."
Ven's smile grew tenfold and he bowed again, in that little jittery way that made him bounce in place whenever he was excited about something. "We thank you!"
Vanitas really didn't think that anyone ought to be excited for a suicide mission, but he saved the bitter remarks for himself. Despite everything else, he was damn happy that finally Ven was getting the damn praise and recognition that he damn well deserved. As he walked over after Terra and Aqua though, beyond the gate and already up the slope of the mountain, the maester stopped them for one final piece of encouragement.
"The path to the sacred heights is steep and lined with the dens of fiends. Strong guardians, be prepared, and guard your summoner well. Guard your summoner with all your heart."
No need to tell them, but it was nice and the three of them smiled gratefully nonetheless. Yet the interruptions weren't over and, next, it was one of the little Ronso that ran up the path to go tug at Ven's sleeve to get his attention.
"Summoner! Ronso will shine your statue brightest!"
Hearing that nearly had Ven melting on the spot. Truth be told, he'd hardly ever stopped to think that, if he did defeat Sin, then the temples might have a statue of him along with all the other high summoners. He didn't even think he deserved such an honor, when compared to names such as Lady Yunalesca, Lord Gandof, Lord Ohalland, Lady Yocun… and his father, most of all. To be told such a thing now, it almost brought tears to his eyes and he held the Ronso child's paws with a happy, soft squeeze.
"Thank you… But I fear that no one will make a statue for a traitor such as I am."
Just like that, a small band of young Ronso ran to join the first one, and all of them just as enthusiastic. Everywhere he went, Ven always seemed to get along with children with very little effort.
"Then Ronso will make!" Said one of them.
"With grand horn on head!" Another promptly added.
Even Terra had to smile at that, as Ven laughed and tried his best to catch all of them in a fond hug. "That would be wonderful!"
The younglings then were dismissed by the elder's gentle chiding, and the tribe stayed gathered at the gate – singing as summoner and guardians started their ascent for real. The same song that was heard in every temple, and that Van now knew was called the Hymn of the Fayth. It wasn't a song that he was particularly fond of, but… as he set foot on the sacred mountain, he promised that, if he found a way to save Ven, then they would go see the statue together after Sin was gone. And he would sing this song to it, himself.
It was only as they forced their way through that wicked climb that Vanitas began understanding the true meaning of Roxas' words about Gagazet. The cold and snow and ice were, indeed, relentless, and the party's magically enhanced clothes and armor could only provide so much protection. Not that keeping warm was too much of a problem, though, considering they were mercilessly hunt down by fiends (again, ridiculously powerful, as Roxas had warned) and plunged into battle every ten minutes at best. Of course, they could have made use of that nifty No Encounters ring… but what would be the point of not improving their skills along the journey, and then risk being unable to obtain the Final Aeon because they were too weak for it?
Not even Van thought that was a smart idea, and so they were enduring as best as they could.
On the other hand, it didn't help that, every now and then, they would come across a sort of makeshift, more-or-less ancient monuments – graves left behind by previous summoner parties, marking those who had been bested by the mountain and fell. As if reading his mind, as they trudged through the thick blankets of snow and past yet another grave, Aqua made a comment on it.
"Summoners and guardians who die up here aren't sent to the Farplane."
"Why not?"
Before he was done asking, Van already knew it was a dumb question, but Aqua answered with a smile nonetheless.
"Who would send them? They die alone."
Really, it didn't help at all, and Vanitas wasn't even sure what was worse – to conclude the pilgrimage, knowing for a fact that you were going to die or you were going to watch a loved one die, or to fail and die anyway whilst so close to the end. Quickly realizing that he hated both options, he chose to ignore these somber distractions and to focus his energy on the battles and the climb.
Considering the perils of Mount Gagazet, however, and after their crossing of the Thunder Plains, this was another perfect environment for Ven's ingenuity in the art of summoning to shine. As the snowstorm started and then grew more intense, he'd summoned Ifrit for a bit of extra warmth and Shiva to shield them from the worst of the tempest. The aeons had continued the climb alongside them ever since, even when not engaged in active battle. Needless to say, the effort of keeping them present was draining Ven's stamina twice as fast, and by now it wouldn't be long before they had to call it a day and let him recover. With how overcast the sky was, anyway, it wasn't like they had much more time of daylight left.
An opening in the rock of the mountainside made for a decent enough place to spend the night, and that's where they set camp. Shiva stayed by the entrance to keep absorbing the gusts of snowy wind, Ifrit easily got a fire started, and soon the nice smell of stew was making at least that small portion of the mountain a little bit less hostile. Terra and Van took the chance to sit down with their swords to keep the blade clean and sharp, while Aqua was entertained with preparing the food – because, frankly, no one else beside her could be trusted with such a delicate task.
In the meantime, Ventus found a cozy spot by Ifrit's side, enjoying the warmth that radiated from both his aeon and the campfire, and got to fumbling inside the inventory, in search of a few very specific and very not battle-like items: a sewing needle, a small reel of red thread, shells, and a special token that he'd been working on pretty much since the start of the pilgrimage. Between fighting fiends and sending the dead, getting married and being excommunicated by Yevon, it wasn't like he'd had much free time to finish it. But Ven happened to be decently skilled at this sort of crafting, despite not having practiced for a while, and got so into the making of his little piece of art that only Aqua's call to dinner managed to catch his attention again. If those mean fiends outside thought they were tough, they were about to see what a truly monstrous appetite was like!
After scarfing down more than half of that big pot of food on his own, and topping it off with the cupcakes that Olette had so thoughtfully prepared for them, Ven returned to his crafting – until Vanitas joined him some ten minutes later. The guardian observed quietly for a while, entranced by such a simple thing, but curiosity eventually made him ask.
"What's that all about?"
"It's a lucky charm!" Smiling proudly, Ven showed off what he had so far: a total of five pearly white shells woven together with the red thread, arranged in the semblance of a star, with a tiny spot in the middle of the charm still left blank.
It was probably the cutest thing that Van had seen in his life.
Or… second cutest, right after the person who was crafting it.
"It's adorable. And it really suits you."
Instead of replying with words, Ventus offered a wide, cheeky smile – and then turned around on the spot, practically hiding himself on Ifrit's side. "Now look away! I'm gonna finish it and I want it to be a surprise."
Van blinked in slight confusion, not certain why so much mystery was needed when he'd already seen most of it, but nodded in agreement nonetheless. He turned around too, and figured he might as well go through the inventory himself and make some order out of it – because Roxas might be great at shoving stuff in, but he sure as hell wasn't so at organizing it. And, when being ambushed by Grenades or Nidhoggs, having your items in the right and accessible places could make all the difference. Soon Ven was leaning on him, so they were sitting back to back and basically using each other as an improvised cushion as they worked on the respective task, and it turned out to be surprisingly comfortable.
Not even twenty minutes later, though, Ven shifted and leaned farther back to give a playful little bump to the back of Van's head with his own. "Hey, I'm done!" Announcing so, he didn't wait nor bothered to build up suspense and reached a hand behind him still in that same position, to pass over the charm.
Vanitas accepted it just as casually, prepared to react by calling it adorable again – because, really, something made by Ven… how could it ever not be adorable? – but little did he know that he was in for the surprise of his life. The charm looked about the same in its shape, but Ven had sewn some cute details along the shells, actually making a little smiley face on one of them. More than that, though… that former empty spot in the center, it now had a miniature of the symbol of the Radiant Tempests, made out of a crystal and woven in place as meticulously as all the rest. Just like the pendant of Van's necklace, that he always wore at all the times and that was his only proof that the Radiant Garden he knew hadn't just been a toxin-induced hallucination.
"Sorry if it's not as pretty as the one you have… I'm not very good at carving."
Vanitas didn't answer just yet, for the simple fact that the charm had knocked the wind out of him. Apparently, both twins had taken the day off to spoil him with gifts… but this one went beyond anything that could be described with words. The replica of his team's emblem, red thread that happened to be his favorite color, all of it… There was so much care and so much thought put into all of it that he almost wanted to yell at Ven for daring to say that it wasn't good enough.
"Shut up, you idiot… it's perfect. I love it."
Ven smiled happily at that and pulled his knees up to his chest, still using his guardian for a backrest. "It's a Wayfinder. Remember the Paopu fruit? It's shaped like one because the Paopu represents an unbreakable connection. As long as you and your loved ones carry good luck charms shaped like it, nothing can ever drive you apart. You will always find your way back to each other. When I decided to become a summoner, and Terra and Aqua offered to be my guardians… I made a Wayfinder for each one of us, so we'd never be apart once the pilgrimage started. Soooo… I figured you should have one, as well. You're part of our family. And–" At this point, his voice had dropped to a murmur that mingled with the crackling of the fire like a gentle breeze. "And you're a lot more than that, to me. A lot more."
As he listened in silence, Van brushed his fingertips over the charm, feeling the smooth surface of the shells and the stitches so perfectly put together. And he was well aware that the roles had flipped over and reversed and that he was the utter idiot now, for having no idea what to say to all of that, but… How was he supposed to, anyway, when his heart was fluttering so avidly that it was like it was trying to take flight? Every time he thought that he'd seen it all in regard to how fucking amazing Ven was, the summoner would go and nudge up the bar yet again.
It wasn't over yet, though.
"I know you aren't into this kind of silly things, but… Will you keep it? Then you'll have something to remind you of me when I'm not here anymore."
All of a sudden, Vanitas knew what to say.
"…Just shut the hell up with that."
"Vani–"
And, all of a sudden, he also knew what to do. Even if it was no more than a jerk reaction, kinda like he'd just been punched on the throat. Straightening himself up, in a way that had Ven squeaking in surprise because his backrest was gone with no previous warning, Van's fast reflexes had him catching the summoner before Ven could actually fall over. And maybe the position was now accidentally romantic, having his lover in arms like this and all that, but the fire burning in Van's eyes was more out of despair than anything else.
"Shut up! Just shut up, Ven! I don't need anything to remind me of you, because you're not going anywhere! I won't let you die, I won't! I can't let you die!"
Good thing that Aqua and Terra had momentarily gone outside, to fetch some snow to melt into water for doing the dishes with, because the loudening tone of Vanitas' voice already had Ifrit growing restless in response. Aeons never took well to their summoner being pelted with such negative emotions.
Ventus, however, wasn't scared, despite this outburst that'd admittedly caught him off guard. What he was feeling was… an overbearing sense of sadness and heartbreak. And guilt, of course. That doing the right thing had to feel so wrong. That he had to choose between staying with the person that he loved the most in this world, or rescuing that same world from the spiral of sorrow that it was inexorably plunged in. That he couldn't even say, right now, something like it's going to be okay, as a mean of comforting his upset lover… because that would be a lie, and they both knew it.
Sitting back up, Ven did the only thing that he could do. He tugged Van into his arms instead, tucking the guardian's head under his chin and holding him as close as possible – and didn't actually pull him onto his lap only because he knew that Van's pride would never forgive that. Then he started gently rocking the two of them, as his other hand got busy with playing with Van's hair and rubbing soothing little circles on his scalp.
And maybe it wasn't much or, rather, not as much as Ven would like to be able to give… but, slowly, the loving touch seemed to be helping with assuaging Van's panic. Since there was no real wall near them, Ven leaned on Ifrit's side instead and tugged Vanitas along, making their position a bit more comfortable. He continued what he was doing and now started quietly singing his favorite part of that one song that always helped him in times of distress.
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
If Vanitas could read minds, this would have been a repetition of the internal outrage of five minutes prior – because how dare Ven think that this wasn't good enough. It was all he needed, truthfully. This would always be all he needed, and precisely why the prospect of losing it meant losing everything good that he'd ever had. Which was a bit surreal, because it's not like his life before Sin (or, well, his father) dumped him in Spira had sucked – it'd been nice enough, with a nice house and a nice job and some nice friends. But there was no being rational about it. Compared to Ventus, nothing else mattered at all.
Sighing deeply, in contentment and also to kick those thoughts away for the time being, Van nuzzled the summoner's chest with his cheek and clung a bit tighter around his waist, letting the song wash away some more stubborn tendrils of tension and fear.
No wonder he'd thought that Ventus was an angel, first time they met.
Now, more than ever, he was convinced of it.
It was still dawn, when Vanitas slipped past Shiva's guard at the entrance and ventured outside the cavern. The sky was looking as clear as it'd ever be around this mountain, with the sun peeking out from behind the summit and slowly making its way up. It was also a very rare moment of no snowflakes eagerly falling and attempting to turn him into the grumpiest snowman, so Van thought it might be a good opportunity for a walk and for some alone time, in order to clear his mind.
Acting so vulnerable in front of Ventus had been a mistake, not because he expected the summoner to judge him or to think any less of him for it, but because Ven already had more than enough shit to deal with. Someone who was willing to die for the sake of others should be comforted and pampered at all times, not the other freaking way around, and so Van definitely did not want that mishap to happen again. Which was why now he was determined to pull himself together, even if it implied jogging all the way back to the mountain base and then up again, or to smack his head against one of the graves till his ideas fell back into the proper place.
Without further ado, he started on the winding path leading up from the cavern, around a narrow corner, and up and up again. Not rushing, and aiming for no specific destination. Just for the sake of feeling his muscles rhythmically contract and extend as he climbed, and the cold breeze caressing his face and leaving a soft burn on his skin, and… and, hopefully, that horrible, thick tension would begin melting away. His neck felt so stiff that even looking around was uncomfortable, and his temples were dully throbbing as if there was a tight rubber band wrapped around his forehead.
And Van did ponder on writing a quick note, before leaving, just to not make his friends worry… but it was still so early, and everyone was still asleep. Ven, in particular, was sleeping like a rock – which wasn't too surprising, given how his slender frame really wasn't made for such a challenging hike while cutting through snowstorms and, let alone, while also keeping aeons around. With how physically exhausted he'd been, he didn't even react when he was pulled away from that cozy pile the two of them had fallen asleep in, and tucked into the sleeping bag instead.
Vanitas didn't plan on taking too long, anyway. Maybe an hour, at max. Fiends shouldn't also be an issue, because that glorious Auto-Haste allowed him to have the first turn in battle almost every single time, so that was enough to either smash through the enemy party or to flee before they could land a hit on him. It was without much of a hassle, then, that he eventually reached a small prominence situated a few dozen meters above the cavern.
The view was breathtaking, with the Sacred Gate no bigger than an ant down there, and the Calm Lands mostly hidden by a mantle of fog. But it could easily make you feel so insignificant, just as much, when pitched against the harsh immensity of the mountain. Like you were as meaningless as one of the countless pebbles that littered the snowy path. Carefully stepping closer to the edge, Van tried to check if Hollow Bastion was possibly already visible from there, but it was no use. That must be a sight reserved solely for those who managed to reach the summit – which made sense, in a pedantic way. Almost as if the goddamn mountain had been dropped there on purpose, to keep alive the enigma about those ruins of a thousand years past. Including all the secrets about the Final Aeon.
This place was a bit like the edge of the world.
The final boundary that separated the human world from something far more ethereal.
Leaning on the side of the grave left there, and not really caring for how sacrilegious that might be, Vanitas caught himself thinking about everything and everyone while basking in this spine-tingling landscape. Were Roxas and Lea getting along and making out in an uncanny place right now, or were they in the middle of one of their quarrels? Had Olette and Pence and Hayner returned to Bikanel, or had they decided to find a new place to live? Were Sora and Riku again competing and running up and down the Kilika Temple steps, with Kairi both laughing and rolling her eyes at them? Were Xion and Naminé enjoying ice cream together while holding hands? And Flood, what was Flood doing? Was she rolling around in the snow like she loved to? Was she napping and snuggled up by the dying embers of their campfire?
This adventurous journey had allowed him to meet and befriend so many great persons, Van was realizing. To see so many astonishing sights and buildings and places and locations, to learn about so many things that he hadn't even known existed or were possible. And it really wasn't like him to be so mushy and so awfully clingy, but… even without trying, these thoughts always circled around and led back to Ven. Like he was at the center of everything, like he was the glue that held together everything else. Which, again… maybe explained why Vanitas was so terrified of losing him and why it felt like this loss would end up with all the rest collapsing.
What was left to be explained, though, was that dreadful sensation of déjà-vu that had nestled in his bones and refused to leave. That something very similar to this had happened before, somewhere and somewhen and somehow. That he'd once failed to save Ventus from a dismal fate. And here he was, now, about to let it happen again. Maybe it was just his guilt taking form and speaking? His frustration, that he knew he had no right to demand Ven to go back on his decision? His shame, that he pretended to accept it and had offered to come along, when in truth he thought it was a stupid and senseless choice? Whatever it was… Van couldn't understand where this feeling came from nor why it was so overwhelming, and he had very little power to tame the sheer panic that it filled his chest with – as the previous night had so clearly demonstrated.
But this wasn't even the only strange thing happening.
There were also the dreams. These weren't necessarily as bad, some of them were in fact quite enjoyable, and yet… they were just as cryptic. The Radiant Garden he'd dream of, it was very faithful to what Vanitas remembered and what had always been his home, but how come he'd dream (and with such vivid detail) of places there that he'd never visited? Like the temple. He wasn't even aware that there'd been a temple in the city. And, if he was going to dream about Ven, why dream of him in such different clothes and even with a different name? Such a specific one, too… It was hard to believe that his mind was repeatedly making that up as a random coincidence, but he had no other reasonable justification, either.
And, of course, there was that cave at the bottom of the Mushroom Rock, and the fact that Ventus still couldn't recall what'd happened in there – couldn't even recall having been there, at all. Assuming that he'd just hit his head hard and/or been spooked out by the illusions created by the pyreflies was a poor excuse, really… One that they'd welcomed because they already had a much darker tragedy to worry about, and an unexplored cave shrouded in eerie rumors couldn't take up much of their time. Regardless, Van also couldn't shake off the impression that they had only scratched at the surface of what that cave truly was about, and that it might still come around to bite them on the ass.
So much for coming here to stop brooding, wasn't it?
He did feel a little better, however. The rush of serotonin that came with this impromptu morning workout was doing its job, and he was already feeling more like himself again. And his mood might keep improving if he went back for breakfast and, more importantly, for more kisses and cuddles before it was time to resume climbing. If he was going to feel clingy for unexplained reasons, he might as well make the best out of it, right?
Careful as to not completely wreck that grave, because not even he was that inconsiderate, Vanitas pulled away from it and stretched for a few good seconds, before starting on the way back down. It hadn't been that long since he left, but the snowflakes were back and ready to make it yet another cold, gloomy, tiresome day. The shiver that suddenly rushed down his spine, though, that made him stop in his tracks and that had the hairs at the back of his neck bristling, had nothing to do with climate nor temperature.
"Ah… the son of Xehanort."
Van knew that voice.
He knew it, even if it'd sounded faraway and muffled, as if coming from within the mountain itself. Yet, the sharp pain that hit him right after didn't give him a chance to place the voice or to otherwise react. It felt like a spear had just been stabbed in his back, right over one of the shoulder blades and right through that lung… and the pain was so excruciating that his body became paralyzed. Exhaling a shaky gasp, Van could do nothing else as he fell to his knees and then slumped over. And the last sensation he registered, before losing consciousness, was the soft snow sticking to his face and hair.