Ticking Timebomb

Chapter 70: We're Headed to the Chapel

A/N: This is a Hiei POV chapter! Sorry for the ultra-mega delayed update once again. But, for real, how is this shit 70 chapters long? My goodness.

Please check out the Ticking Timebomb playlist on Spotify (under the same name and my username on there is 1nerdygurl), I updated it recently!

This isn't edited, fair warning. I wanted to push it out asap. If anyone sees glaring mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them! Thank you!

. . .

Do you love her, Jaganshi?

Do you...?

Can you even answer such a question?

Ah...silence.

You can't, can you? You do not understand the meaning of the word love, yet she tells you so all the time, does she not? And you think, maybe, each time you hear it that you might understand it a bit more. But you don't, do you? You never will.

That is because you do not love her.

You desire her. You think of her as a possession, a conquest you must overcome.

You do not think of her as someone you can learn to love. She is not someone you would take the time to truly figure out what the word love means, so that you may say it to her in return with full understanding. You do not care enough to bother.

Your relationship is meaningless.

It holds no value. Not to you. Not to anyone.

Why don't you just...give it up already? Stop pretending. Stop playing this insignificant game.

It's pathetic. Just like you.

Pathetic and weak. Worthless.

Is that how you wish her to feel? Worthless, just like you? I suppose it is. All broken people wish to damage those who are closest to them, to make them just as battered as they are.

You keep her from her true calling. You keep her locked away all to yourself because you are selfish and cold. You string her along, leading her by that rope of red, in the hopes that someday your mind will change and your broken psyche will reveal it is able to love.

But you never will.

Will you?

. . .

I awoke damp and cold, sweat coating every inch of my skin. My chest heaved with a ragged breath and before my vision even cleared I was reaching for her, searching.

The nightmare burned in the back of my mind—a recent memory turned into a haunting dream. A curse I could not rid myself of.

A touch at my hand and the smell of cigarette smoke calmed me, and I settled back into the bed even knowing I would no longer be able to sleep. It wouldn't leave me alone, those words, they'd eaten at me day and night since the moment Kasumi freed me from that ball of suspended flame.

A voice—a god's voice—filled my ears while I was inside and picked apart my weaknesses one by one until it found one I could not give an excuse for. I could not give an excuse because the god was right.

I didn't love her.

I spoke the words and tried to believe them, but I knew I couldn't.

Regret stung the back of my tongue now, a wish that I'd never told her. But words could not be taken back, especially ones such as those.

Kasumi was sitting up in bed, the window propped open so she could smoke at her leisure. Her free hand rubbed soothing circles into the back of mine, but she never turned to look at me, offering me a privacy I didn't deserve.

I watched the smoke curl about her head in a gray halo before the wind sucked it outside into the night air. Her scent filled my lungs and the feeling of her energy turbulent and fraught beneath her skin made my own burn. I wanted to touch her...to taste her.

Addiction wasn't something I was familiar with in such a context.

Once I might have said I was addicted to killing things, but that wasn't rightfully the truth.

But Kasumi...she was a drug far stronger than any opiate or alcohol. There was no equivocal. There was just her. And even still, I could not say that I loved her or truly knew what that meant.

Anxiety and newly inherited power thrummed beneath my flesh and the feeling of it did nothing to calm me. Neither did her glowing godly eyes when she turned to stare at me, sensing my sudden distress I bit down on with a passion.

Ignoring the soft pulsing glow from the center of my chest, I rose from the bed, breaking the contact between our hands. Her eyes glowed a little brighter, so much like a demon's but yet so different, and she watched me as I moved in the stark moonless darkness of the bedroom. She didn't say anything, knew it wouldn't get her anywhere.

Today was the day I promised to marry her.

Insane, the idea. Pure insanity. It was a misguided tradition steeped in religion I wanted no part in, adopted by demons from humans long passed. The me a year ago would have laughed in the face of the person who even suggested I would pull such a stunt.

I didn't want to wait any longer.

"Getting cold feet?" Kasumi asked, breaking the silence like a knife cutting through skin.

She didn't believe I would go through with it.

She didn't understand or comprehend that I would claim her in any way possible. You think of her as a possession. That I would find new and better ways to prove she was mine and mine alone. A conquest you must overcome. If that meant going through with this asinine human tradition, then so be it. You do not love her. I would place a ring on her finger and then a scar at her neck and shoulder and anywhere else she allowed me to sink my teeth into. Your relationship is meaningless. And her as well, to mark me as I would her, to complete the cycle.

Kasumi was mine.

"No," I finally breathed. "I am not."

The voice in my head was slowly drowned out by the quiet sound of her inhales as she finished her cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray on the sill to be later disposed of. I crossed the room to the desk I rarely used apart from maintaining my weaponry, and stared down at a finely stitched set of wedding kimono. Kurama unearthed them from gods only knew where and I was expected to wear them in what felt like a few short hours.

The thought of setting them on fire rooted and stuck.

"You don't have to wear them, ya know. You could show up in your birthday suit and I couldn't careless."

Although I was uncertain on what she meant by "birthday suit" I caught the gist of it. "It's tradition," I said with a hint of sarcasm. "Won't you wear them as well?"

I ran my finger down the dark embroidery and listened as she hummed in contemplation. "Haven't really though about it," she said.

The women scrounged up a white monstrosity from some old cupboard in the temple for Kasumi to wear. It smelled of must and all things old, but with a bit of airing out and washing it was mostly restored to its former glory.

Seeing Kasumi in it would be laughable.

"Do you want me to wear it?" she asked, coming up behind me to wrap her arms around my waist. She buried her face between my shoulder blades and drew in a heavy breath, taking in my scent.

"The choice of clothing does not matter," I said.

My fingers moved to brush across the ornate box housing the rings set beside the kimono, so much more important than the damn clothes. I could feel the spells embedded in them—ones for protection and luck and fire resistance. Spells only a god could weave.

Stop pretending. Stop playing this insignificant game.

"Hiei...?"

Her voice was different. Her eyes. Her hair. Everything was different now.

The words on the tip of my tongue wouldn't come out. Part of me never wanted them to.

Doubt began to fester, deeper and deeper, digging away all that I knew. It plucked and pulled and ate away at my memories...my thoughts...my feelings. Who was Kasumi now? Could I figure out how to love her?

Or was the god right all along?

"Oh my god, you are getting cold feet," she said, not an ounce of shock in her voice. She laughed, the sound foreign and strange to my ears.

Her arms released me and I turned to watch her pull clothes on, the act so much more graceful than it would have been in the past. The Gods' influence was in her every movement, in every breath she took into her lungs. The power that seeped from her body was unattainable and wicked. You could sense it from miles away, a massive beacon daring anyone to be stupid enough to cross it.

How much control of her did they have?

Would they pull the same stunt as last time and take over her body, with all intents of pretending to be her?

I clenched my hands into fists, staring down at them as they tightened until I could feel my nails dig into my palms. When I came out of the fire my fingertips had been black and charred.

I felt it before I saw it, the deep blue energy signifying my newly acquired abilities.

Out of all the things I thought a dragon's power would give me, this was not one of them.

Kasumi, now fully dressed, stood in front of me with her arms folded across her chest and a sour look on her face. Her eyes, though different, her hair short and unkempt, her stolen power—it was still all her. The look on her face and her stance and the way her hair seemed to glow like fire—it was all Kasumi.

I could not falter now. Not so close to the finish line.

Striding up to her, I wrapped my palms around her arms and wished they would burn and leave their mark as they would have done in the beginning. Now, her energy rose to defend her, fending off my youki as if it were nothing but the sting of an insect.

That wasn't Kasumi.

I felt very little of her own power anymore.

That was what caused me the most unrest. The knowledge that she could be completely taken over at anytime with nothing I could do to prevent it. All we could do was trust in the gods, and I knew how far that would take us. Once our usefulness ran out...once things were completed to their satisfaction...that would be the end of Kasumi as I knew her.

Feeling her heart race as I dragged her closer gave me a thrill I hadn't felt in months. Hearing it up close and personal felt even better, knowing I still had such power over her with so little effort.

She stared up at me with ancient eyes and I watched as they faded back to the light gray they once were. The power exuded from the gods receded the most minimal of amounts, but it was enough. I moved to kiss her, the pressing of lips first chaste and breathless, but it quickly turned into something else.

Pushing my tongue between her lips, I tasted her, twining our tongues together and making short work of the clothing she'd bothered to put back on.

I was under no such hindrance, still nude from our activities earlier in the evening, and she took full advantage of that. Kasumi reached down to cup me between the legs and I groaned into her mouth, suppressing a shiver as she ran her hand up my length in one long pull.

She dragged me forward, rough and needy, and kissed me harder, taking control as I became a mess beneath her skilled hands.

But then she broke away, her touch fleeing, and picked up her pants tossed near the door to pull them back on.

I stood in the middle of the room, hard as steel, and dumbfounded.

Kasumi cast me a wicked smile. "If you want more of that, you gotta put a ring on it." She winked and then let herself out, leaving the door wide open after her departure.

For a long time I stared at the empty dark hallway, thinking she was joking and would return after she'd had her laugh.

She never did.

Cursing, I slammed the door shut, hearing a loud "fuck you, Hiei!" shouted down the hall most likely from Yusuke's designated bedroom and not giving a single shit.

Damn that woman.

Damn her straight to hell.

. . .

The dawn came just as any other and my lack of sleep heralded a terrible temper. I allowed myself to be primped and cleaned and dressed like some invalid incapable of taking care of themselves. I did not see hide nor hair of Kasumi for most of the day. She was off with the women, doing whatever it was women did before the time of their nuptials.

Kurama spent an inordinate amount of time trimming my hair, the pieces of black floating past my eyes like the feathers off a crow. When he was finished, he put some foul floral concoction in it, stating it would make my hair soft and shiny, as if I gave a damn.

Yusuke and Kuwabara sniggered in the background, whispering things behind their hands as if I couldn't hear them. I rolled my eyes, letting my mind wander back to the reason why I was doing this and once the day was finished it would not matter what jokes and insults they came up with. It wouldn't matter because in the end, I will have gotten what I wanted.

My hair finished, Kurama proceeded to help me into the traditional kimono, the black layers ill fitting and the airing out did little to rid them of the smell of must.

The fox looked me over with a critical eye and shook his head. "This won't do."

"He looks like he's wearing an even bigger trash bag than usual," Yusuke said, not even bothering to suppress the laugh that came afterwards.

I tossed him a rude hand gesture and began to pull off the clothes, my irritation near boiling.

"No, no. Leave them on. I will make adjustments."

Kurama sprung to work, placing strategically hidden safety pins and folding the fabric in such a way that it was a bit more flattering.

"I despise this," I hissed beneath my breath and the fox's tiny grin did nothing to placate me.

"You chose this," he reminded me. "You could have told her no."

The look on my face told him everything he needed to know. While I thought this act was borderline insane, pointless, and a human tradition I never considered being part of—I couldn't deny her this.

We all knew in the backs of our minds what would happen in a few short months.

And I knew it better than anyone.

The day waned to late afternoon, the sun setting in the clear skies and hot summer air cooling to an almost tolerable level. Soft music played on a guitar and accompanied by phantom instruments could be heard throughout the temple, the noise stemming from outside and spreading until it reached my ears.

I was ushered outside, Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama all serious and dressed in fine suits I did not ask nor care where they had dredged them up from. They stood beside me underneath an arch Kurama designed and decorated himself. In fact, most of the garden was in bloom, the fragrance a stunning punch to the face and far too bright for my tastes.

Kasumi's too.

This wasn't us. None of it.

The only thing that kept me rooted in place was when the music changed and Yukina came stepping out of the temple in a simple kimono of pale green. Following her was Botan...then Shizuru...and finally Keiko who's arm was looped around Kasumi's.

My breath caught in my chest. Not from fear or love or amazement.

But from admiration.

Kasumi wasn't forced into the hideous traditional kimonos such as I was. She wore a white gown, short and flowing, and it hugged her in all the right places. Clutched in her hands was a bouquet of pastel colored flowers and her flaming hair was cut short, cropped just below her ears so the side that was still growing out now matched. Adorning her feet were her customary black combat boots and I could see the outline of her gun strapped to her thigh.

After my feelings of adoration passed...ones of annoyance took its place and I was quick to cast a glare Kurama's way. He just smiled and turned his head, acting as if he didn't see me at all.

Takahiro's music came to a close as Kasumi reached the arch I stood under and Genkai, stooped and old, smiled the way grandmother's did at their grandchildren, and proceeded to conduct the ceremony.

Our only guests were the people who mattered. And Koenma, who sat at the edge of the temple stairs and watched with a strange look of pride. The rest of our "guests" were all around us, smiles and catcalls and jeers passed around as they always were when this group got together for anything—from battles to weddings, it seemed.

The traditional purification ritual was performed, the vows exchanged...

We bowed to Genkai together, before the old woman placed the ring box in my palms and gestured for us to turn to each other. I did, with my breath rattling in my lungs, fearful my hands would shake and everyone would notice my weakness.

But when I looked up from the box, it was to see clear gray eyes, as light and strange as the day I met her. The smile on her face was crooked, lips painted a deep shade of red I couldn't wait to ruin.

I removed the rings from the box, tossing it aside, and reaching out for her hand. Her smile grew as she turned her palm up towards me and allowed me to place the smaller of the rings in her hand. Knowing what would come next, I swallowed thickly and grasped her left hand, gently massaging my thumb in her palm before I brought it up between us.

"Go on," she whispered so only I could hear. "Make me yours, Hiei."

It was said with a grin, her eyes shining. And yet...

Something didn't feel...right.

We slipped the rings on, my cheeks heating uncomfortably when I leaned in to seal the contract with a chaste kiss. And that's when I felt it.

The faint tremors that racked her body, the lack of the God's power...and the pure blinding brightness of Kasumi's reiki. It made me draw back, alarmed, and all I could do was stand there with wide eyes. Disbelief flood me. There was no way...why...?

"I didn't want them here...not for this," she said, almost pleaded.

"You'll kill yourself," I hissed, our teammates and guests' eyes burning holes through my skin as they all turned to stare.

"I'm not so weak, Hiei. And it's what I've been trying to show you...tell you...for the past year. You break yourself time and time again for me...don't you know I would do the same for you?"

I choked, stunned between shock and anger. "Let it go now, the ceremony is over...stop overexerting your body this way."

She was holding back the gods. Both of them. With physical and mental power that crackled fiercely through her muscles and skin. She'd turned her own body into a trap, even more so than it already was, acting as those creatures' prison.

I expected her to cry or remain stalwart. Instead, I felt her power slowly peel away, bit by bit, until it was faint and insignificant again. The gods' power roared back to life, her eyes darkening and losing that human shine to them. They glowed like a demon's and resembled the color of fresh bruises. Though used to it, the sight still turned my stomach.

Genkai cleared her throat after we stood there in silence for longer than what would be deemed appropriate.

"Congratulations to the bride and groom," the old hag said in a deadpan, before snapping her prayer book shut and hopping off her makeshift podium. "Also, that little stunt you pulled, Kasumi, will have attracted attention. Best keep your guards up tonight."

The music started up, tasteless in the wake of Genkai's warning, and I whipped around from gaping after the old psychic to gape at Kasumi instead.

Her arms were folded over her chest, defensively and closed off, and I sighed.

"What kind of wedding night would it be without a brawl?"

This made her crack a smile, which quickly turned into snorting laughter. Until all of us were hysterically laughing, Yusuke slinging and arm over my shoulders and pulling me into his side. He kissed me hard on the cheek, leaving a sloppy smear of saliva behind. "Congrats, you emotionally constipated asshole, you!"

I didn't find his attentions amusing and shoved him off with more brutality than necessary, grabbing Kasumi by the arm and hauling her away from the group of morons.

We ran, Kasumi trailing behind me, having shifted so she could grasp my hand instead. We rounded the far side of Genkai's temple, stumbling into a garden that was more rocks than plants, and finding the largest one to hide behind.

Kasumi pressed herself to the side of the rock, giggling, as I ducked around it to check if we had any pursuers. When a few minutes passed and I didn't hear a single soul, I deemed it safe enough to join Kasumi on the ground. She was still smiling, her eyes closed, which I felt almost thankful for. Even then, when she opened them, I did not flinch away.

"Hey," she said.

I just raised an eyebrow, keeping my face carefully neutral.

"So," she held up her left hand, "this is a thing now."

I didn't get and she didn't bother to elaborate, merely leaned over and smashed her mouth against mine. It turned into a heated battle of wills, who could wrestle who into submission first, and I would never admit that I didn't come out on top of any will against my own.

Kasumi straddled me, running her hands through my newly shortened hair, and still finding enough to spread out on the grass. "Fuck, you're beautiful," she whimpered, grinding down into the mess of kimonos resolutely still clinging to my body.

She pulled them aside, undoing the ties at my waist with quick desperate fingers. "I've been thinking about this since last night, I can't wait anymore."

I only grinned, baring my teeth.

She didn't even remove her underwear before she sunk down on me, only moved them aside, her center already slick and wanting.

My hands moved to her hips, rocking up into her with enough force to lift her knees from the ground. "Fuck...!" Kasumi groaned, and I resisted the urge to tear her pretty little dress off to get at her breasts.

Our marriage consummation was fast and brutal. A dirty fuck out in the open where anyone could find us. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Her scent was uninterrupted by human clutter or years of dust and cigarette smoke. It was just her and the garden and the smell of heady sex. A combination that would stick with me until the day I died. I fucked up into her with abandon, smirking as she grew louder and louder. Let them hear, let them know exactly who she belongs to.

You keep her from her true calling. You keep her locked away all to yourself because you are selfish and cold.

The words, flashing through my mind, made me flinch and Kasumi stuttered to a halt in my lap, my cock still embedded deep inside her.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes were suddenly more gray than purple and I looked away, staring at the backside of the rock, watching as a small beetle struggled its way up the side.

Kasumi moved to rise off me and I grabbed at her hips, fingers digging in and planting her firmly where she belonged. "Don't."

She couldn't help the moan, a hand clamped over her mouth. I belatedly realized her gun was still strapped to her thigh and wondered why she was even bothering with it. Nothing she would face now or in the future could be killed with a bullet.

Kasumi's palm cupped my cheek, but she didn't say anything, just let her eyes hold mine with a power perhaps even mightier than the thing's inside her. She rocked her hips, winding in a slow circle, tortuously slow. She shifted so her palms pressed into my chest, spreading the kimono further askew.

Fingers explored, nails racked across flesh, and once even the bite of teeth on one of my nipples—a surprisingly sensitive area.

She used me, tender and wanton, until I felt her thighs tremble.

She came with a yelp, as if it surprised her, and I took the chance to flip our positions, pinning her to the grass. I fucked her through her orgasm, quickly triggering a second that made her scream. I bit the noise off, slipping my tongue into her mouth to lick up the sound.

As always, our energies spiked and spread, seeping from our sweat covered skin like smoke. I pulled at the confines of the kimono, managing to wrangle out of the top half and leaving it to pool around my waist. I hiked Kasumi's legs up and the change in angle had her nearly sobbing.

"Shit!" she swore, taking in deep lungfuls of air. "Shit...Hiei...I need you to—ah!"

Sucking my thumb between my lips, I soaked it with my saliva, pressing it against her slit and gently rubbing until she came again. Kasumi forgot what she was trying to say and I was far too frenzied at that point to care.

Our energies were sparking now, the combined hums almost deafening.

I crushed her to my chest, cradling her head in my hands, a wounded sound ripping its way through me as I felt my own orgasm building low in my stomach. Sweat dripped from my chin as I lifted my head to stare down at her, hair plastered to both our faces, I kissed her fiercely.

Pulling away, Kasumi bared the side of her neck, waiting with an elated smile on her face.

I kissed down her skin, sucking a mark there first, my pace starting to falter as pleasure took over. When my orgasm finally hit, my teeth were already sunken into her neck, as gentle as I could manage. Later...Kasumi would tell me it felt like the prick of a needle, that—in the heat of the moment—she hadn't felt a thing at all.

I tasted her blood and wished the circle could be complete, that she could bite into my skin and take my blood into her mouth—that she was willing. But the sound of her thoughts in my head—just her thoughts—was so all consuming that I soon forgot my desire. Instead, I turned to listen, drawing back just enough to nuzzle my nose into the base of her skull. I placed a kiss behind her ear, distracted by her wild thoughts and heavy breathing.

"Slow down..." I murmured in her ear. "Just breathe."

She did as she was told, her thoughts slowing until I could finally hear my own again, her chest heaving beneath me in deep, calming breaths.

"You weigh a ton," were the first words out of her mouth, when she'd managed to come down for our combined high.

My youki and her reiki still lingered in the air, sparkling and bright as the midday sun. It illuminated the shadows of the stone that hid them, and I wondered what her eyes looked like now, but didn't dare lift my head.

"I'm serious, get off me," Kasumi griped, making half-hearted attempts to push me off.

Her thoughts told me different and I knew she could handle my weight just fine, so I pressed down, staying firm against her. I used the folds of my kimono to cover us and took my time marking up the side of her neck, her shoulders, the freckled skin across her collarbones.

The sound of her laugh was addicting, I hated to admit.

She cupped my face between her palms and held me still. "I love you," she said. Simple. Matter of fact.

You string her along, leading her by that rope of red, in the hopes that someday your mind will change and your broken psyche will reveal it is able to love.

But you never will.

...Will you?

I stared down at her, suddenly thankful of her refusal to tie herself to me.

"...I love you, too."

. . .

A/N: Yo...so its been a long time. I lost most of my inspiration for this fic. I have actually considered just letting it finally die, even though I've had the ending planned for years. But suddenly, the desire to finish this came back to me. So, here I am...with a chapter full of shameless porn XD

But hey, they're finally married, right? Lol.