Chapter 3, Mourning

Sunday 1st November 1981

14:48

Rose was sent home from work on that terrible Sunday afternoon. Her boss could see she was in no fit state to carry on. Whilst the whole Wizarding World were rejoicing, laughing, hell even partying, Rose was sat at home on her couch, drinking a cup of tea and grieving for everything she had lost.

She cried, and cried, and cried some more until she had ran out of tears. Then she thought about beautiful Lily once more, and the thought that she would never see her ever again.

She would NEVER see Lily ever again.

Lily was dead.

Lily was gone from this world FOREVER.

She couldn't believe it. Her beautiful sister. Only 21.

21!

Too young to die.

Too young to die.

That thought stuck with Rose.

Although she'd ran out of tears, the pain of her loss still stung, more than ever as she realised the massive effect that this would have on her life. She thought of her sister's bright green eyes. Eyes that radiated happiness. Eyes that sparkled with joy, no matter the situation. Lily was always the positive one, always. With one brilliant smile she could make you forget about all of your worries. She was the light in Rose's life.

When their parents had died from a Death Eater attack when Rose was only 15, Lily had been her rock. Rose was in denial at first, then disbelief, then the tears came and then the worrying about where she would live. Whilst Petunia refused to talk to them, blaming their deaths on Lily for being a witch (and Rose, for supporting Lily as a witch), Lily had ignored all of that, masked her own grief and comforted Rose as much as she needed. She understood that whilst she was an adult in both worlds at 18, Rose still needed a legal guardian, and had therefore lost not only her parents, but her home and whole life as she knew it. Lily had been the one person to get her through her grief, and ironically enough, she thought, she was now stuck grieving over the death of the one person who could get her through it.

'Come on Rose, what would Lily say to you?' she questioned herself.

'Rose, it's ok to grieve, that's part of life,' Lily's voice rang through her ears, 'but just remember what I said to you when our parents died and you'll eventually get through it.'

And Rose did remember.

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"Rose sweetheart," Lily said to a sobbing 15 year old Rose, a week after their deaths, "Rose listen to me. They would be glad to know that you loved them so much, but Rose," Lily gently tilted her chin up and their eyes met, "they would want you to grieve, and then slowly go back to being the happy, bubbly Rose that they knew. They would not want to you dwell on the sadness of it all, but use this as a stepping stone to the next great adventure in your life." Rose looked down again, deep in thought. "Rose you know Sirius," Rose looked back up and nodded, "well once I heard he had an unusually intelligent moment when his friend was grieving. I'll never forget this, and I'm not meaning because Sirius was actually intelligent for once," Lily joked. "He said 'always remember this, the ones that love us never truly leave us'. Rose that's what's getting me through this, remember that Mum and Dad will always be with you, in here," she leant forward and gently placed her hand over Rose's heart. "They'll always live in our hearts and we will never forget them. They'll be with us every step of the way because they're a part of who we are. Just remember this Rose, because this will help you get through it like it did me. And remember, Mum and Dad would have wanted us to slowly pick up the pieces of our grief and carry on with our lives."

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Rose thought about this and realised that Lily would be looking down on her, wherever she was, and telling her that same message. 'It's ok to grieve for me,' she'd say, 'but don't dwell on it too long. You've still got a life to live, so please, live it to the fullest. For me'.

Suddenly Rose realised what Lily would have wanted her to do - to try and carry on with life. It's ok to have moments where you can't carry on, she realised, but just like with their parents' deaths, you've got to slowly try and pick up the pieces.

With that thought Rose got up to place her empty cup of tea in the kitchen and decided she needed to do something to take her mind away from all of this.

'Baking!' she thought with a start. When they were younger, her and Lily would always bake together when one of them was sad, or angry. It would always seem to help let the emotions out. And it would also be a great way to commemorate Lily. So she decided to bake a Victoria Sponge cake - Lily's favourite.

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A couple of hours later a tired, but significantly happier Rose had finished baking and washing all the dishes. She sat down for her dinner - a simple soup and pasta, and a slice of Victoria Sponge cake, of course.

Whilst she ate she thought about everything and decided she needed to find out the facts about what happened to Lily and her family. The best bet, she decided, would be to send her owl to Professor Dumbledore because of course he would know.

Then she realised something, Sirius still hadn't responded.

'How strange,' she pondered, 'I would have thought that he'd respond straight away, especially considering that Lily's d-died. Perhaps he's just very busy, or in a location where Ruby can't find him?'

Then she realised that she couldn't owl Professor Dumbledore because her owl was still trying to find Sirius. 'It can wait till morning, I'll sleep on it for now,' she decided.

And with that she showered and went to bed.

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The following morning Rose woke up and rang the lawyers firm where she worked as an apprentice and told them, with difficulty due to her sobbing, that she'd had a close family bereavement and would be unable to work for a while. Fortunately her colleague at reception was extremely understanding and told her to take as much time as she needed and she gave her deepest sympathies.

After that slightly upsetting phone call, Rose took a moment to compose herself and helped herself to a cup of tea and a slice of the Victoria Sponge she made the night before.

As she ate her brain started wondering and she realised that Ruby, her owl, still hadn't come back with a response from Sirius which meant that she couldn't owl Dumbledore.

Not knowing how long it might take for Sirius to respond she decided that there was only one thing she could really do - because she couldn't just sit around grieving, she knew that wasn't good for her. Her sister had died, and that was all she knew. She didn't know if James or Harry were alive, how Lily died, why Sirius wasn't responding, and most aggravatingly, why Dumbledore hadn't had the bloody common courtesy to tell her that her own sister had died when the whole Wizarding World was talking about it.

So Rose decided there was only one thing she could do.

Pay Petunia a visit...

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Authors note: Thanks again to everyone who followed, favourited and reviewed! Please let me know what your thoughts are! I've never written about loss before so hopefully this was alright?

To my reviewers:

lilyflower50 - Thanks for the review! Yes the plan is for Harry to live with Rose, but not without a fight from certain people! I'll leave it at that for now!

F.maiden - Thank you!