Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Fairy Tail
The next week, Zeref spent his time doing his best to avoid agreeing to Levy's request. That girl, for the slightest of moments, had oddly reminded him of Mavis. Granted, he knew they were quite different in many ways, but her intellect caused by her love of reading was the source. Plus, there was that optimism that Fairy Tail as a whole was known for. So, Zeref knew it would be best to simply leave things alone. He wished to remain in this world, after all, despite Levy's own attempts at trying to talk him into leaving.
Levy had, at the very least, conceded to his logic about the war. It was beneficial to Fairy Tail if he did not return, however she had also countered with the fact that it wouldn't actually end until he ordered the Spriggan Twelve to halt their advance. Knowing his own generals, Zeref had grudgingly been forced to agree with her, realizing they were back at the same impasse as before. As a result, that was what led to the seemingly endless silence from him. No matter who was speaking, be it Edo-Levy, Edo-Natsu, or Levy, Zeref did not reply or react in any form. A reaction would encourage them to continue, and Zeref wanted to be left alone with his thoughts.
Really, why couldn't she just accept this world as her own as well? Levy seemed content enough in this place. Perhaps there was no magic, but she could still remain in touch with her friends in some form. As Zeref sat in the living room, his gaze flickered towards Edo-Natsu who was taking a nap in the seat next to him. Considering such a thing, he realized that perhaps it took a special sort of mindset to see that, however. Letting go of what one knew in favor of something quite different was a challenge. This Natsu was nothing like the Natsu Zeref knew, yet he still was similar enough that Zeref was content to accept it. Perhaps if he wasn't so desperate to be wanted….Zeref sighed, shaking his head. He also hated the idea of being around others, so he couldn't exactly consider that truthful either.
Edo-Levy was one of the only ones who stayed out of the debate. Lately, Edo-Natsu would be the one arguing with Levy, saying that his brother was not leaving no matter what she said. Edo-Levy, on the other hand, would only speak to try and change the subject. She kept saying that they had to go to the palace to get the details on the job from King Jellal. Zeref would nod slightly in acknowledgement to her, but that would be broken off by a shout from Levy, saying they'd get to it after dealing with the problem at hand.
Oddly, Zeref wondered why Lucy and Natsu had not arrived as well. Perhaps Levy had left her partners alone to search for him, but Zeref thought they'd come for her eventually. Considering this problem was mutual between them, he was still somewhat bracing himself to hear the same things from them. Natsu would likely be more forceful about it, while Lucy would be more like Levy in the sense that she would shout and demand. From his brief observations of her during the war, she was not an aggressive person by nature, which wasn't surprising considering her heritage. She was raised to be a proper lady in high society, making it difficult to adapt to a lifestyle like that of a common guild wizard.
Closing his eyes, Zeref leaned back in the seat. Both Levys were in the room, likely trying to talk to him with the voices he heard in the background, but he had grown skilled in ignoring his surroundings entirely. After all, wasn't that exactly what he did the entire time he was on Tenrou Island? Ignoring his curse had been his only method of coping, even if Levy seemed to think otherwise. What purpose was there in accepting it? It would change nothing. Life around him would continue to die, and the entire world would still reject him for what he was. Accepting or rejecting the curse made little difference, and in terms of his actions, Zeref still did not act to eliminate the curse. At least, that wasn't his main objective at the moment. Considering the fact that the Curse of Contradictions came from a power unseen to mankind, and from what research Zeref had once done on the matter, he knew it was something that no mere wizard could eliminate. Regardless of if he wished it to be gone or accepted it as a part of him, he would always act for the one thing that drove him to receiving that curse in the first place.
That thought made him pause, frowning as he stared up at the ceiling. Natsu would be wanting to leave this world, wouldn't he? Yet, this place was safer for him. The lack of magic meant he could live a normal life, free from the implications of what Zeref had done to his own brother. It required magic to lift the demonic seal on him, after all, even if others falsely believed a lack of magic would simply make it deteriorate into nothing. Once in place, the magic would linger until removed by an outside source. With the book having been safely returned to him, Zeref knew that the others wouldn't be foolish enough to toy with it either.
"That's it!" Edo-Levy seemed to be getting fed up with them, rising to her feet and marching over towards Zeref and Edo-Natsu. She shoved Natsu hard, pushing him over on the couch and making him fall onto Zeref's arm. The sudden weight made Zeref glance down, leaning away as the pinkette blinked his eyes open, widening as he spotted Edo-Levy. "I'm tired of this sitting around and doing nothing. I did not go to all the trouble of coming here to deliver this job to you only for you to decide to sit back and play house with your not-brother." She said this with a mild glare towards Zeref, who simply shrugged. "All of us are going to Jellal, whether you feel like it or not. And as for you, Levy…" She trailed off, glancing towards her other self. "You'll just have to keep trying to convince him on the way."
She left no room for argument, making Zeref smile faintly. This was a person who was prepared to be in charge of something, it seemed. "But…what if Jellal says Zeref can't stay? I mean, he comes from a place with magic, and King Jellal says we don't need that anymore…" Edo-Natsu bit his lip, but Edo-Levy only responded by grabbing his arm and yanking him to his feet. Edo-Natsu gave out a slight yelp of surprise, only for the other girl to release him and shaker her head.
"That's not our problem." Edo-Levy glanced at Zeref for a moment, her gaze softening. "I'll admit, I'd love to have him around too, Natsu. Still, he isn't our Master…and as much as you keep insisting otherwise, he's not your brother." Edo-Natsu pouted, his shoulders slumping as Edo-Levy forced him forward. "You do realize that, right?"
"I know…" Edo-Natsu's voice was quiet, his arms shaking slightly. "I just…I really wanted…"
Moving closer to him, Levy seemed to join in and gently squeeze his shoulder. "I know. That's why we need to get him home…because I'm certain there are other people there that miss him just as much as you." Despite her false optimism, Zeref scowled at her words.
"I've informed you before, there are—" Levy shot him a glare, making Zeref cut off his first response to her in days. Sighing, he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "It truly is exhausting to deal with people, I had almost forgotten the feeling." Glancing towards Edo-Levy, he shrugged. "I do believe we had a task to complete, however. After all of this time silently contemplating how to prove that this is the ideal world to exist in, I find that a break just may help me continue growing my ideas."
"Ideal—what the hell?" Levy glared at him, smacking Zeref's arm. "I told you before, stop with this fantasizing about backing out of our deal! If you do, then…then…" Levy seemed to struggle with what to say, before confidently turning around and placing her hands on her hips. "Then Fairy Tail will declare war on you!"
"We are already at war, are we not?"
"Yeah, but that was when you wanted to be."
"And how would a war in a world that I no longer call my own affect me?"
"…"
The silence was the only answer Zeref needed, making him smile faintly. She wanted to fight back, and she truly did have the intelligence to do so in most situations, but she likely had not realized just how stubborn Zeref could be. "There is little that will change my mind. As for the research you continuously insist I help with, I still haven't the faintest idea of what could mimic magic closely enough to enter another dimension. A lacrima may have a chance, but even knowing where to begin the search for one…in a place like this, it would likely take far more time than remains in our natural lifespans."
Zeref found himself feeling oddly pleased to be able to join in the possessive of that statement. It had been a long time since he could consider himself normal, but the healing cut on his shoulder reminded him that he truly could die again. Likely, his body had begun aging again as well, though that was hardly noticeable after the span of only a single week. "Are…are you sure no one misses you?" Edo-Natsu surprised Zeref, speaking up quietly at first. "I'm sorry…I don't want you to leave, but I just…I don't want to hurt others by making you stay."
"Indeed I am." Zeref paused, sighing for a moment. "That is the result of being known in history for little beyond atrocious acts. Perhaps history's tales are true enough, but that does not mean I was able to stop myself from wishing for a different outcome."
Looking towards him, Levy bit her lower lip and studied his expression closely. "Um…I'm sorry if you feel like this is a bit personal but I can't help but wonder…is that wish for something to change in your life what fueled your actions in the war?" Levy hesitated, pausing again. After all, wasn't every war fueled by some inner desire of the one leading a nation? "I mean…I still just don't understand. You claim to have all of this power on your own…the ability to actually transport us home if we had magic is only one example of that. So, why would you need more? Is it another attempt at an impossible spell, one which you are already expecting to pay some price for again?"
She was observant and skilled at drawing conclusions, Zeref noted. It was an impossible spell, and perhaps he would be punished for altering so much. "Yes." He did not know if he should elaborate or not, but he could feel the gazes of the others watching him. Considering the status of the war, would it really harm anything if he spoke of what he had originally hoped for? After a moment, he decided that perhaps it would not, and that it would at least slow some of the girl's questions and insistence upon returning. "I wished to rewrite history…and use Fairy Heart to activate a spell of my own creation to do so."
"That's a stupid wish." It was Edo-Levy speaking, shaking her head at him. "Do you think we don't want to change a few things about our pasts either? Yet, we aren't stupid enough to literally try. In fact, parents tell their kids not to even bother hoping to change something that's in the past." Looking towards her, Zeref found himself mildly amused that she was arguing as well over a topic that hardly concerned her.
"Everyone claims a solution can be found in the present to such problems." Zeref noticed that Edo-Levy was trying to keep them moving at a decent pace through the streets, pulling them through the city as they spoke. He had hardly realized the travel while speaking, making him smile faintly. "However, I do not think such a simple answer would manage anything in my case. Too many things went wrong…too many mistakes made…and in the end, everyone around me paid the price. One single alteration…it would undo it all, and remake the world into one which with more peace than we currently know."
Smiling, Edo-Natsu looked towards him. "Like King Jellal's wish to change the existence of magic?" He didn't know if it was entirely the same, but he supposed it was a single alteration made to fix problems in this world so Zeref nodded. "That's awesome, Zeref. I wish others could see how much you really just want to help everyone…I'm certain they'd be able to eventually if they just gave you the chance." He rubbed the back of his head, scratching it for a moment before dropping his hands to his sides.
Watching him, Zeref realized that he somehow managed to look smaller than his Natsu. Why was it that he could so easily replace his real brother with another? Zeref couldn't help but chuckle at the thought, finding himself to be quite different than Natsu described. "Oh, I am definitely deserving of my current fate, Natsu. My every wish has not been to solve the problems of the world…rather than the single problem that has plagued me for my entire life."
"How to kill people and get away with it?" Levy narrowed her eyes at him, shaking her head. "Because that's the only thing your demons seem to be able to do, idiot. And to be honest…you don't seem like the kind of person who wants something so evil."
Meeting her gaze, Zeref kept his smile and walked steadily. "A desire to have peace of mind." That made her frown, looking rather confused. "Would I not be at peace if death claimed my life? For a time, that was the solution I had set myself on…and as such, my creations mimicked the ideal of needing enough power to overcome immortality." There was a faint look of horror on her face as Zeref continued speaking with a smile, as if none of this was wrong. Really, he didn't even consider it to be a mindset that would bother anyone, given the fact that such an action truly would only affect himself and the demons that killed him when he first began on that path. "Changing the past…perhaps it is still furthering that end. A single event not only destroyed the life I knew and opened my eyes to the true chaos and terror of war…but it also fueled my every decision that led up to gaining this curse. So, perhaps it is impossible to have a truly peaceful mindset unhindered by concerns or worries or guilt. However, it is possible, with Fairy Heart, for me to change enough that I can once again die rather than remain trapped outside the reaches of time."
"But….you told me you weren't going to try to do that again." Edo-Natsu spoke, his voice shaking slightly.
Looking towards him, Zeref shrugged. "At the moment, I feel no inclination to make such an attempt. However, it is still my ultimate goal…to finally be able to perish and end my existence so I can be at peace for once."
Surprisingly, it was Levy and not Edo-Natsu that reacted more strongly to his words. The girl stopped walking, turning around and facing him with a scowl. Pausing himself, Zeref frowned at her, only to blink in surprise when she slapped him sharply for the second time. It made his cheek sting, but Zeref made no comment and simply turned back to stare at her. "Don't say something so stupid! Can't you understand that any life, no matter how much pain you go through, has something in it that makes it worth living? People don't want to see others die, no matter how cruel they were in life."
"Oh? I can recount numerous occasions in which—"
"But you attracted attention from dark guilds and rune knights." Levy interrupted Zeref before he could vaguely explain that others had attempted to kill him in the past. "Dark guilds are like you — they don't understand the pain they're causing and just do whatever suits their needs. However, if you take a look at the actual laws in place regarding enforcing justice…you'll see a pattern. Certain things must be punished, but that doesn't mean we kill those who commit crimes. Imprisonment is most common, and the duration grows longer depending on severity. Then, there's exile if it was true treason against the country. In Bosco, there's forced slavery and stripping of your current social status. Every country has their own system…but all of them hold execution as a last resort, as something that isn't even listed in the law code as a recommended punishment for crime. In all of my reading, I can only recall a single nation that had it as a standard punishment…and that was used for murderers alone, a country that harshly followed the first law codes made centuries ago that followed punishment for—"
"Could you stop ranting about law codes already and get to the point?" Edo-Levy interrupted her, making Levy blink in surprise. However, Zeref smiled faintly, shaking his head.
"Actually, her point is one of her more valid arguments I've heard." Edo-Levy stared at him, sighing and shaking her head. "Still, it does little to change my own desire. If…if you had felt the same suffering I've lived through, you might not be so willing to make such an argument. Perhaps there would be guilt felt by others, but do you truly think that compares to the guilt I feel?"
Levy stared at him as the others stopped as well, realizing the two of them weren't walking. "You don't…I mean, you never seemed like it was bothering you before."
Glancing up towards the sky, Zeref frowned. "That is because it rarely lingers these days. Or perhaps it does and I've simply grown accustomed to the feeling…regardless of which is the case, that guilt will always be mine. I know of how truly horrendous my history has been, and I've since lost count of how many lives have been lost because of my own actions. Faces, names…a few stand out amongst all those who died in history, but did I really have the right to make them more special than others? To give them the ability to be recalled, while others remain entirely forgotten?" He looked down, meeting Levy's stricken gaze. "And that is simply for the acts performed by my own death magic. You haven't even begun to hear all that I've attempted in my search for death…to hear why there is little reason for me to truly deserve having Natsu back."
"But I want you to—"
"I wasn't referring to you." Zeref interrupted Edo-Natsu, never moving his gaze away from Levy. "Given the basic idea of how I am viewed in the world…and how accurate history's picture of me is…do you truly think there is a reason for me to be pleased with the idea of returning? In our world, I am a criminal at war who must be stopped at all costs. I'm despised, rejected, and on occasion, hunted to be used as a tool or killed for what I've become. Here…here, I have a brother, and it appears a guild, that would welcome me and let all of that simply slip away into nothing but bad memories that will eventually fade. Here, I have no magic…meaning death becomes a possibility once more."
"Yet here, you've also abandoned what few people you know back home. I mean, seriously, in all of that, you should have found at least one friend back home." Edo-Levy spoke, narrowing her eyes at him. "Bookworm here isn't wrong about that one. You're a kind person, if not incredibly depressing, so there's someone out there who wants you to stick around, Zeref."
Why did everyone keep insisting on this nonexistent kindness in him? Zeref had given up trying to tell them otherwise. Sighing, he shook his head and kept moving forward. There was no kindness in him, not of the sort they seemed to be searching for. No, Zeref knew who he truly was and that was exactly why everything felt so heavy as he continued walking, with the others slowly moving to join him.
When the silence stretched on, Levy bit her lip and seemed to try speaking again. "You know…Alvarez really does want you around back home." He had already argued this point countless times. He did not wish to do so again. "The loyalty they've displayed in the war…their ideals of simply fighting to give you what you want…people don't sacrifice themselves like that for simple respect, Zeref. Alvarez values who you are, and they aren't going to be willing to give you up." Zeref still didn't reply, keeping his gaze trapped on their path. "In fact, I'm almost certain that they're trying to bring you back right now."
"No, they aren't." Zeref spoke quietly, while Levy blinked in surprise. Smiling sadly, he studied her for a moment before explaining. "First, they are under orders to continue the war regardless of what occurs to me. If they truly are as loyal as we believe them to me, I will be ignored entirely." Levy's eyes widened slightly at that. "Second, even if they had disregarded my orders…they would have already succeeded, given this task. Perhaps he wouldn't have entirely been able to utilize the exact spell, but I'm certain that he's seen enough spacial magic users to understand the concepts of how to accomplish a spell to bring them here, and return with us."
"We're here." Before Levy could ask for more details, Edo-Levy stopped moving. They were standing before the doors of a castle, much smaller than the one Zeref had grown accustomed to in Vistarion. It was rather narrow, looking almost thin enough to be little beyond a tall tower, with a larger ground floor based on the base upon which the rest of the structure stood. A balcony rested about the doorway Zeref stood at, empty and decorated with red curtains to avoid having others see what was going on within. Without a word, Edo-Levy pushed open the doors and gestured for them to walk inside. "Levy, you should probably wait outside of the throne room for us. Given all of this stuff with Alvarez going on, I don't think King Jellal will be all that happy to see you. He'll jump to some pretty bad conclusions if he notices someone from a different world here." The other girl frowned, looking ready to debate, before sighing and nodding in agreement. She must have realized that it would be logical to assume magic brought her here, after all
Inside of the castle, the halls were made of the same gray stone as the outside walls. It made things look too bland for Zeref's tastes, lacking in the rich golds of his palace. At times, he'd even make an attempt at keeping his home decorated with floral arrangements, though it was a challenge to see how long he could let them linger. In Alvarez, such challenges were easier to overcome since his mentality changed so drastically. Here, the lack of any attempt to liven the hall simply left Zeref feeling like it was a cold place to be. Still, as they reached the end of the hall where it opened up into a larger throne room, Zeref smiled. After all, even with the colder feel to this castle, he would still take it any day over the world where all of his surroundings always became even colder and more disturbing than these walls. Gray stone was preferable to blackened decay no matter where Zeref was, and for that, he was glad to be rid of his curse for however long he could manage.
Hello everyone! It's been a few weeks. Sorry for the delay in updates. I've been trying to work on some original stories lately, and that has been sorta replacing the time I usually use to work on fanfics, since I also have classes right now. However, that doesn't mean I intend to abandon anything I've started here! I already have this story planned out to the end, so it will be completed eventually. Feel free to review and tell me what you think!