Rey didn't willingly sever the connection, despite what he had revealed.
Despite what destiny would have him become.
He expected her to turn away from him, to finally realise what it was she was contending with. His fate was to become a sith. His fate was to live fully in the embrace of the dark.
Yet it was not just Rey who was unnrelenting; it was also the light, the call from that side of the force to which he shouldn't be so accepting.
But as the time passed, and the strength of the light and the dark merging into grey increased within his chest, he wondered if being a sith was his destiny after all?
He pondered this question as he waited for Rey to return. It was the middle of the night cycle on the Guillotine as they continued in hyperspace, but soon after his revelation about Ilum, Rey was called away by who he could hear was the traitor.
Finn, he mulled over in his mind. That was the name he had given himself when he deserted the stormtroopers. A flare of anger rose within his chest at the betrayal, but he considered the night that changed his life.
They had slaughtered an entire village of innocents. His desertion shouldn't have been at all surprising.
Kylo took a sharp intake of air, attempting to compartmentalise the actions that he made, the orders which he gave.
If he thought about them for too long, he may never resurface from the waves that threatened to drown him.
Instead, he thought about Ilum and the kyber crystals. Luke's lightsaber could not be repaired, that much he was certain. Perhaps the casing could be salvaged, but without a full kyber crystal, it would be pointless. He thought of Rey's staff and blaster, the only other weapons he had seen her with.
Useless, he thought desperately. Standing from his war table, he begun pacing the quarters for what seemed like the fiftieth time that night. She had proven herself perfectly capable with both, and he knew how skilled she was as a fighter; living on her own, fending for herself for years had taught her those harsh lessons.
Against the Knights of Ren, however... She didn't stand a chance.
The Ilum System...
A niggling feeling entered his mind once more, as he thought about the location of their previous mission. What did he know about their task?
Storming towards his war table, he wiped the contents onto the floor in one swift movement. Pressing several buttons on the small panel on the left hand side, a screen illuminated above the onyx, and he accessed mission database with ease. Finding the appropriate file, he threw it on screen but as he skimmed the sentences, he found...
Nothing.
Sentences had been formed, but the pertinent mission information had been redacted. He couldn't make out anything except that each seven members of the Knights of Ren had been instructed to conduct a two week round trip to the Ilum System.
Skimming to the bottom, he read through the authorisation details, and in what only fuelled his fury, he saw his own name.
Curses escaped his lips as he dug his nails into the inside of his palms.
His mind raced over possible options, reasons and explanations.
Reading through the authorisation details, he saw that it had been dated at two days before the Knights of Ren were scheduled to leave, and as he connected the dots racing within his mind, he knew that it could not have been Snoke to order this mission. He had been dead for weeks before it had been prepared.
That only left one option...
General Hux.
Kylo exploded with rage and he threw rolls of documents across the room. The arrogance in Hux's demeanour, and the challenge in every word made sense now.
Hux had the Knights of Ren at his disposal.
But how? How could he sway them from his control?
Kylo considered that perhaps they didn't know it wasn't a direct order from their Supreme Leader, but he knew how cunning they were. He knew the darkness that swelled and pulsated within their beings.
He knew that if there were a chance for them to seize control of the fleet and the First Order, they would take it.
And they would take him down without any hesitation.
Kylo ran his scarred and healing hands through his thick hair, the urgency of their plan increasing by the moment.
If they were in the Ilum System, there was only one reason for it.
They had collected their own kyber crystals.
He thought about the boys he had trained with under Luke. They were just behind him in their training, and hadn't yet been to Ilum in an attempt to harvest their crystals.
Luke had told them that they weren't ready.
He had told them they had to wait.
It seemed as though they were ready now.
Rey, he murmured through their force bond, the urgency he felt pulsing down the line towards her. He didn't like to interrupt her like this, but whatever she was occupied with paled in comparison.
He needed to help equip her with a weapon more adequate, and they needed a solid plan.
After pacing his quarters another dozen times, he felt her presence like a wave of sunshine crashing upon his soul. It took everything he had to not stop for a moment to take in the sight of her.
"Ben, what is it?" She murmured urgently, moving to him without hesitation. He faltered slightly in hearing his old name, a misstep in his stride so obvious he was sure she saw and felt it.
Rey took his hand within her grasp, and despite his desperation to let everything he had learned to rush from his lips, he allowed the warmth at her fingertips to ground him. Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself.
"Are you aware of the Knights of Ren?" Rey nodded slowly, seemingly racking her memory for information about them, where she had heard their title before.
"I trained with them, under Luke. Those boys, they turned to the dark quicker than I, more fully. The power, the strength, it consumed them, and they fed from it. I'm unsure if Luke had sensed it in them, or if he truly thought they were not ready, but he didn't allow them to collect their kyber crystals, which meant they didn't have their own."
"This whole time, they have crafted intricate weapons, but without remaining Jedi to either steal kyber from, or help them find Ilum to harvest their own, they haven't been able to create their own sabers..."
Kylo turned, letting go of Rey's hand to run his through his locks once more. After several moments, he continued.
"Until now. General Hux has called on the Knights of Ren to meet us in the Outer Rim once we exit hyperspeed, after completing a mission to the Ilum System... I tracked the mission report, and found that important information has been redacted. It has been authorised by me, even though I had no prior knowledge."
"I believe that snivelling coward has somehow grown a spine, and is planning to use the Knights of Ren to overthrow me and to incinerate the rebellion." Kylo inhaled sharply, turning back to face Rey. Her eyes were wide, the rush of information giving her whiplash as she grasped the immediacy of his fears.
"You think they have travelled to the Ilum System to retrieve their own kyber crystals? How long would it take to construct their own sabers? Ben, will they... Will they kill you?"
Kylo couldn't help the shocked laugh that escaped his lips, as he looked incredulously at her. Rey's eyes widened at him in response, just as surprised as he.
"I... I tell you that seven highly trained murderers will be in the Outer Rim in days to help blast you and your friends into oblivion, and your immediate response is your concern for me?" The whisper of humour in his voice shifted quickly into dread at the thought of them finding her before he did, but he still wondered about the fear she held for him.
"Well, of course I am worried about myself, and everyone here... But..." Rey's eyes shifted as she scrambled to find the words, but Kylo could feel through their bond what she was struggling with.
She was struggling with her feelings for him.
Warmth spread throughout his chest, but he couldn't let it grow, not right now.
Not when they were both days from death.
Rey sighed, deciding to blurt out part of her truth.
"I don't want to lose you either." Rey averted her rose dusted cheeks from his gaze, before too returning to the dread at hand. "What do we do? I don't even have a saber!" The panic boiled within her chest, and he could feel it, the darkness of her fear electrifying through their bond.
Focus, Kylo pleaded to himself. Focus on protecting her. Your emotions can wait.
"You will have a saber," he murmured, brushing his fingers across her cheek. Kylo took in a deep breath, as he prepared to reveal a truth that he had allowed no other to know; a secret he knew he could have been killed for.
Kneeling down, he moved the fabrics he wore to reveal leather strapping just above the top of his boot. It wrapped around his shin, and held a pouch that had become akin to a second skin. He rarely removed it, and he never touched the contents within; not at the risk of being caught. Kylo loosened and undid the buckle which held his secret, before removing them and rising to stand before Rey once more.
A strangled gasp escaped her lips as her vision locked onto the dual kyber crystals that rested within his large palms. Kylo thought her reaction to the precious stones was due to her never having seen kyber in their raw state, but the intensity of what barrelled down their bond left him breathless.
The crystals were calling to her, too.
I'm a fool to think I had the self control to not write more until my days off! Looks like I'll have as many late nights as I can handle while this motivation burns. Thank you so very much to those of you who have favourited and followed! Also, a big thank you to redridinghood101 for your review, I hella appreciate it! Have a fantastic day/night wherever y'all are xx