In theory, the plan was simple enough. Hiccup, being the light, gangly, all-limbs boy that he was, could simply climb the battered tree, coiled rope in tow. He would climb past Snotlout, fasten the rope to the branch above him (the branch which still, coincidentally, had Azula's jacket attached, flapping in the wind) ,and then drop the other end to the ground. Snotlout would then use that rope to rappel down the tree. Hiccup would then climb back down, none the worse and hopefully with some newfound heroism under his belt.

Yes, Hiccup thought, a flame of determination beginning to burn in his chest. He gripped the truck of the tree with both hands and looked up at his wailing cousin. I might actually be able to pull this off.

He'd always been a good climber, and–the wind suddenly picked up, and the tree groaned worryingly. Hiccup's flame of determination gave a little sputter.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Snotlout's voice made itself known from up above. His death-grip on the treetrunk redoubled, fighting the claws of the wind."NO WAY, NO HOW AM I BEING RESCUED BY HICCUP THE USELESS! Is there literally ANYONE ELSE?"

"Thanks for the confidence," Hiccup muttered, placing his foot on the tree. He was keenly aware of the eyes of the assembled Vikings surrounding him, staring at him, expecting (for once) that he'd be able to do something USEFUL and BRAVE. Well, he hoped they were anyway. He could already imagine them muttering to themselves about who would replace him as the next Chief when both Hiccup and Snotlout were reduced to red piles of smush on the ground, as flat as the loaves of bread Stoick would sometimes try to bake.

Between that and the wind, the flame of determination was starting to resemble more of...a large candle.

And then the first few drops of rain hit his nose. Great. Couldn't get any worse.

Summoning his nerve, Hiccup began to climb. He had to get to Snotlout before his determination turned into less of a fire and more of that white stuff you find crusted in the back of a really old fireplace.

"GUYS, IT'S RAINING!" Snotlout screamed, "IT'S RAINING IT'S RAINING, I DON'T LIKE IT!"

"Hiccup, don't hesitate!" Azula's thin voice joined the cacophony, yelling up at Hiccup to contrast Snotlout yelling down at him. "You can do this. It's your destiny."

Hiccup wasn't sure that "destiny" normally meant "I forced you to do this and if you fail I'll look foolish", but he appreciated the comment. It was better than what Snotlout was doing, wiggling around and rocking the tree back and forth so much that even Hiccup's superior climbing skills were being put to the test. He was also wailing loud enough that it put the rumbling thunder in the distance to shame.

"What are you waiting for, COME SAVE ME ALREADY!"

"I'm...coming! This isn't the easy thing you make it out to be," was Hiccup's sarcastic mumbled reply.

"OF COURSE IT ISN'T! I AM THE PEAK OF PHYSICAL PERFECTION! MY ARMS AREN'T EVEN BURNING! BUT HYPOTHETICALLY YOU SHOULD ACT LIKE THEY WERE HYPOTHETICALLY!"

"Careful, son," Stoick added from below, as Hiccup traversed an especially unstable bit of bark.

"Grip, GRIP I say!" Spitelout roared, as an especially strong gust of wet wind set the tree to rocking.

"Alright, who wants to make a bit of a wee wager on whether the lad will make it?" Gobber piped up, looking around as the tree gave an unsettling groan "Any takers? Anyone?"

"IT'S GETTING WETTER! IF I DIE, I WANT AT LEAST ONE STATUE ERECTED IN MY HONOR!" Snotlout continued his wail. "And HICCUP should be punished for causing the DEATH OF A HERO!"

Meanwhile, Hiccup himself was actually suprisingly close now, only a few feet below Snotlout's posterior. Despite himself, his proximity to success was setting his heart into excited convulsions. Well, it was the success, or it was the deadly, horrifying danger of being dozens of feet in the air, but Hiccup was what they called an optimist. Probably.
Finally, he pulled himself around the trunk, gripping with his knees and thighs, and began shimmying past Snotlout, heading for the branch feet above his head. Snotlout watched him pass, fuming and sputtering and generally looking considerably less than heroic and more like a scared, wet child.

"About time!"

Hiccup's reply was a grunt, as he pulled himself atop the branch. He carefully turned around, and let his legs dangle over the side. He'd made it! He let out a relieved pant, looking down at all the upturned faces below him. Azula, his father, Spitelout, and of course, Snotlout. Hiccup had to admit, it felt pretty good. He even allowed himself a triumphant grin.

"STOP SMILING!" Snotlout interrupted his reverie. "GET ME DOWN!"

Oh, right.

Hiccup brushed back a handful of wet hair and retrieved the rope from where it was coiled over his shoulder. All he had to do was tie it around the base of the branch he sat on, and then his part of the whole crazy operation would be complete. He's have saved Snotlout. He'd be a hero. He gave another look down at the Vikings below and gave a suitably heroic smile that he hoped didn't look too seasick.

And that's when everything went wrong.

Maybe it was the height. Maybe it was nerves. Maybe it was just bad luck. Or maybe it was the fact that Hiccup had suddenly noticed an extra face staring up at him from the ground, a face rimmed with ethereal blonde hair, with blue eyes that were just the right combination of fierce and beautiful, so beautiful that it made Hiccup's heart, and therefore his hands, weak.

Whatever the reason, the rope slipped from between Hiccup's fingers, and plummetted to the ground almost as fast as Hiccup's heart plummeted to his feet. It landed on the ground in front of Astrid with a final, whispering sigh. And all Hiccup, Astrid, or any of the assembled people could do was stare in stupefied horror.

Well, now it can't get any worse.

And then a house exploded.

It was quite random, really. Just was Gobber beginning to see if anyone really had made any bets, just as the other Vikings let out a collective groan, just as Azula looked up at him with an expression of utter disappointment, just as Snotlout began to lay into Hiccup with what would surely be the verbal beatdown of the century...a house, visible in the distance, exploded in a burst of blue-white fire. It happened so fast that it seemed that the house had up and decided that its tenure as a house was over, and it was transitioning instantaneously into its new life as a rapidly expanding ring of fire and debris.

A high pitched screech filled the air.

"NIGHT FURY!" A Viking finally yelled, coming to his senses.

"GET DOWN!" Stoick cried, taking his own advice. He shoved Azula to the ground as he did so, and the girl, not expecting to suddenly be bodily assaulted, nearly went sprawling on her face.

"What-" Hiccup could hear her begin, but it was promptly drowned out by the sudden yelling of two dozen panicked barbarians, yelling "DRAGON ATTACK" and "GET TO THE CATAPAULTS" and "YOU'RE DEAD, HICCUP!" (Though that one was just Snotlout.)

Failing to die on the spot, Hiccup instead scanned the sky, taking full advantage of his elevated position. He could see, a depressingly short distance away, several dark shaped hurtling down from the low-hanging clouds, swooping over the village. A part of his brain, the analytical, curious part, wondered if the attack coincided with an approaching storm merely by chance, or whether it was some sign of a sinister intellect on the part of the dragons. Another, larger part of his brain suddenly realized that stuck up on this tree, he may as well have been presenting himself as a tasty treat for some Nadder or Zippleback to swoop up at its leisure.

As a ball of orange fire blossomed in the distance, Hiccup slowly realized that the gods really, really hated him.

Azula pulled herself up from the ground, just in time to witness her plans fall apart. The sky was full of wheeling, winged shapes, descending over the village and the fields beyond.

"What's going on?" she screeched out-then instantly regretted it.

What do I think is going on, a tea party? It's an Agni-cursed dragon attack!

"DRAGON ATTACK!" yelled Gobber helpfully.

"DRAGON ATTACK!" yelled Spitelout even more helpfully.

Azula cringed internally. This whole situation hadn't gone how she'd wanted it at all. First Hiccup had flubbed everything spectacularly, now this?

Instead of the ultimately small but relatively believable glory of rescuing Snotlout from grevious peril, her plan had instead trapped two people in a tree, distracted dozens of Berk's warriors, and all but offered the Chief's son as a meal for large flying carnivores. At least, she thought, if she had been planning an assassination then this had turned out perfectly. In fact, a part of her mind piped up, it would probably be better for her if Hiccup actually did get eaten. That way he wouldn't be able to reveal her part in all this.

It would be difficult for her to work her way up without Hiccup to act as her proxy communicator and convenient workhorse, but would it really be harder than getting him to be popular enough to actually be an asset?

"Son!" Stoick was yelling up at the tree. "We're out of time. You and Snotlout will have to jump! We'll catch you!"

"Yeah, I'd love to... jump to my certain death. But I dunno, I think I might not." Hiccup replied, and the nervous crack was obvious in his voice as he looked down at them, then hurriedly back at the swooping shapes in the sky. An orange-brown mass of hide and scale careened downwards, belching up oily flames across the trees beyond.

Gobber stepped forward, placing a hand on Stoick's shoulder, though his eyes were focused on the increasingly large number of fires beginning to spread over the island. "I hate to be the voice of doom, Stoick, but we can't hang around here too long. The men need you to lead the defense, Chief."

"Not now, Gobber," Stoick replied, voice as firm as a mountain. "Not while my son is a sitting terror in a tree. Hiccup–"-his voice grew loud and commanding-"–Snotlout! I order you to jump!"

Snotlout whined, and Hiccup balked. Another fire burst into life in the background.

And then, because letting Hiccup die would be quitting, and quitting was for losers like Uncle Iroh or mother, Azula found herself dashing, scooping that cursed rope off the ground where it had fallen. She pushed past Astrid (who had been leaning down towards the rope, possibly about to do the very same thing that Azula was) and quickly began to scale the tree. Her small feet found holds as easily as last time, and before Stoick or the other adults could stop her, she was already out of reach.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Stoick, Snotlout, and Hiccup all yelled at her together, which Azula didn't think was either an intelligent question or a particularly grateful one.

"What does it look like?" she fired back, pulling herself up to Snotlout's level. Unlike Hiccup, she simply used him as an extra handhold, digging her sharp nails into him to steady herself. The tree rocked, but what else was new? Really, she was beginning to think this tree just liked to groan. It and Snotlout were a perfect fit, really.

Steadying herself as best she could, and drowning out Snotlout's complaints, she threw one end up to Hiccup. It smacked him in the face, but luckily he managed to catch it, at least he wasn't slow witted on top of being incredibly useless.

"Tie that to the branch again," she ordered, "and don't even think about dropping it this time!"

"Nice of you to think about our safety now, after you got me up here in the first place!" was the reply, though Hiccup set to work, hurriedly working on tying a firm knot. Unfortunately, he hadn't gotten to the "Knotwork 101" potion of his curriculum yet, and his fingers were just a little bit numb, and his hands were shaking, so it took longer than it should have.

"Hurry up!" Azula yelled. (In a princess-like manner)

"I'm hurrying!" Hiccup yelled.

"Hurry more!" Azula yelled (in a less princess-like manner)

"My back!" Azula's footing yelled.

"GET DOWN! NOW!" Stoick yelled, in a voice that seemed for some reason even louder than his normal one. Even the chief was letting the moment get to him.

"I'm done!" Hiccup exclaimed, pulling his hands away from the rope like it was going to burn him. Azula let the other end drop, and it dangled to the ground. She then clung to it, pulling herself off Snotlout, hanging just above him with her feet against the trunk of the tree.

"GET DOWN NOW!" Stoick yelled again, and this time his voice definitely sounded almost frantic. Azula frowned. He could at least have offered a "well done" or something, she'd just accomplished what Hiccup obviously couldn't, and even though that wasn't her original plan it was actually a pretty nice consolation prize-

Whoom.

That noise was all the warning she got before several things happened. Her mind, always analytical, sorted them into several things of various importance, ranging from the "minor inconvenience" to "this is life endingly bad."

1: Azula's jacket finally blew free from the branch, settling in the thick wet bushes.
2: Snotlout decided jumping from the tree wasn't such a bad idea after all, wasting all the work they'd done this whole time.
3: Snotlout screamed. Like, really screamed. The type of scream Azula had only heard when Ty Lee had been stung by an angry bumblehornet, and her whole arm had swollen up.
4: Stoick threw his axe at her. Well, not at her, but close enough that she instinctively ducked her head.
5: A massive, massive scaly talon emerged from the sky like a bad dream, attached to a blueish-white winged body with far, far too many spikes, like some kind of demon bird.
6: Hiccup screamed, and his scream was actually somehow manlier than Snotlout's. Wait. Or was that her own voice?

And then the next few bullet points were all repetitions of "A dragon snapped off the entire branch Hiccup was sitting on, and because Azula was hanging from a rope tied to that same branch, she and Hiccup were plucked from the tree and carted off into the sky, never to be seen again as they were undoubtedly eaten in unspeakably gruesome ways."

Definitely should have left him to die.

Author's Note: Whoa guys, what a crazy year, huh?

Anyway, here's a new chapter. The good thing about this story is that you can take massive breaks, come back to it, and pick up right where you left off. Though that may not always be the case, I always write continuity, and Azula's presence is definitely gonna make things go very, very AU by the time it gets to the point the movies start at.

Is it bad if, while thinking this story through, I ended up kinda shipping Hiccup and Azula? Is that even a ship? What the hell kind of abomination am I creating?

OH WELL!