Chpt 5: In the Early Morning Breeze
Rick bangs on the front door and everyone waits. No groans. No shuffling. He kicks it in, and Daryl crosses the threshold, crossbow at the ready. Glenn and Maggie are at the rear, covering their asses. They file in, one by one, and clear the house. It's the same every time. For six days now, they've been kicking down doors. There are so many walkers. It's almost surreal. They drive. They siphon gas from abandoned cars. They find another house. They kill more walkers. So far, they've been lucky. They've been blessed with food and shelter. Beth picks up things here and there to add to her backpack. They all have a bedroll now. Plenty of clean underwear. And layers for the winter.
Nobody has said much since Rick's outburst. He made it clear that this is "not a democracy." The bombshell he dropped… The one about everyone having the virus. The one where he said you don't have to get bit to come back as one of those things. That bombshell has had everybody contemplating just how big this thing really is. All-encompassing. For some reason, Beth had it in her head that this would all die down. That when it did, they would venture out. Maybe go North. Find a place unaffected by biters. She knows now that no such place exists. Not if you don't have to be bit to turn. They haven't come across any more people either. Beth thinks that's the worst part. Maybe this group, her new family, is all that's left.
They are sitting in the living room of a new home. No furniture. No appliances. She wonders about the owners. They must have had two kids. A boy and a girl. One of the bedrooms upstairs is painted pale yellow, like her room at the farm. The other is deep blue. She wonders if the kids picked out the colors themselves. Wonders how old they were. Assumes they're dead. "It was gonna' be a beautiful home," she thinks. She's sitting in the window seat under the big picture window overlooking the side yard. She feels a shove on her shoulder. Daryl lifts his chin and walks backwards away from her, only turning when she gets up to follow. She's been riding with him some on the back of the motorcycle and riding with Maggie and Glenn some in the SUV. But they haven't had any time to talk. The family is always together. Everyone is so damn quiet.
Beth follows Daryl to the screened in back porch connected to the living room. Beth thinks again that this was going to be a beautiful home. "How you doin'?"
His question catches her off guard. It seems out of place. Out of character for the asker. Maybe both. Beth laughs. A quick giggle. She isn't sure why it strikes her as funny, but it does. She shakes her head and sighs. "I'm good, I guess. As good as I can be."
Daryl nods and starts chewing on his thumb nail.
"You okay," Beth asks in turn.
He nods again. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm good… There's a decent patch of woods behind this neighborhood. I'm goin' huntin' in the mornin'."
"By yourself," she asks, a little panicked by the notion of him being out there all alone.
"Yeah… I'll be fine. I jus'… I jus' wanted to let ya' know where I'll be."
"I'm glad ya' did. But don't ya' think ya' ought ta' take somebody with ya'? Just in case?"
Daryl shrugs and takes a keen interest in his boots. "What, you wanna' come?"
Beth opens her mouth to…
"Daryl." Beth spins and sees Rick leaning through the door. "Need you two in the living room. Group meeting."
He waits for them to follow. Daryl wonders what Beth's answer would have been. Beth wonders that too.
Maggie has started a small fire in a trash can in the middle of the room. The days are still warm and humid, but the nights are getting cool. Everyone is sitting around the fire on the edge of their bedrolls, waiting to hear what Rick has to say. Daryl goes to the window seat where he found Beth before. Beth heads to her usual spot next to Maggie.
Rick apologizes for his outburst from days ago. He says he should have told everyone about the virus from the beginning, but he was afraid it would kill their hope. He isn't wrong. Beth's perspective shifted the instant Rick told them the truth. She still has hope, but that hope lives on a much smaller scale now. He says they're going to give it a few more days. Keep moving around. Try to find a place to settle into for the winter. Everyone nods.
Hershel speaks up. Reminds everyone to keep hope alive. Then Maggie asks Beth to sing. She shakes her head. No way is that gonna' happen.
"Please, Beth," Maggie says and nods her head in encouragement.
"Maggie. No one wants to hear me sing right now." Her back is to Daryl. Part of her wonders what he's thinking. All of her is glad she can't see his face.
"Sing, baby girl. Just one song. It would make us all feel better," Hershel says.
"Daddy," Beth scolds and hushes him with a look.
"Please," Lori says quietly from across the fire. "You have a beautiful voice, Beth. I've heard you sing. We could all use a little upliftin' right about now."
Beth's eyes dart around the circle. Everyone is nodding and smiling, and Beth feels like she doesn't really have a choice.
"All right," she says quietly. She looks around the circle, thinking on what she should sing. An old Dolly Parton song pops into her head. One her grandma used to sing. Beth clears her throat and begins softly humming the opening chords
I open up my door to greet the early morning sun
Closing it behind me and away I do run
To the meadow where the meadowlark is singing in the tree
In the meadow I go walkin'
In the early mornin' breeze
I cup my hands to catch a multi-colored butterfly
Perched upon the petals of flowers growing wild
Freeing it I watch it as it flies away from me
To visit with the flowers in the early mornin' breeze
Beth watches as first one then another start to sway with the melody. She had planned to stop after the first bit or two of the song. But everyone seems to be enjoying her singing. She wants so badly to turn around and look at Daryl. To try and gage what he might be thinking. The tail end of a blanket floats to the floor next to her. She keeps singing, but she turns her head to see Daryl plop down next to her on what passes as his bedroll. His lip jumps in a quick smile before he lays back with a grunt. Beth smiles to herself and keeps singing.
Rainbow colored flowers kissed with early morning sun
The aster and the dahlia and the wild geraniums
Drops of morning dew still lingers on the iris leaves
In the meadow where I'm walkin'
In the early mornin' breeze.
Carl scoots down on his bed and lays his head in Lori's lap. Rick stops his pacing and sits down next to her. They look at each other a little differently than they have in the last few weeks. Soft and kind. Rick visibly relaxes. Runs his hand up and down Lori's back. So, Beth keeps singing. She thinks that maybe this is what she can contribute to the group. A small reprieve from their harsh new reality.
Misty-eyed I look about the meadow where I stray
For its there I find the courage to greet the coming day
For there among the flowers I kneel gently to my knees
And I have a word with God in the early mornin' breeze
A rainbow colored meadow kissed with early morning sun
The aster and the dahlia and the wild geraniums
Drops of morning dew still linger on the iris leaves
In the meadow where I'm walkin'
In the early mornin' breeze
In the meadow where I'm walkin'
In the early mornin' breeze
It's so quiet when Beth stops singing. Maggie squeezes her hand. "Thanks, Bethy," she whispers. Everybody either nods or smiles at Beth before tucking in for the night. Rick stands and heads back to the front door. Hershel follows. They'll take first watch tonight. Daryl will take over in a few hours while the rest of them sleep. They are on a rotation. Two shifts each night. Daryl usually takes watch alone. Maggie and Glenn take a shift together. Carol and T-Dog. Beth stayed up with Maggie and Glenn last time even though she hasn't been assigned an official shift. She tried not to let it bother her. Knows most of them still see her as a kid. She knows too that she isn't ready to take on a walker, not by herself. But she can shoot as straight as the rest of em'. That she is sure of. She lays back on her blanket and turns on her side to face Daryl. There is a low murmur of conversation within the group. Nobody is ready to slip off to sleep quite yet.
"Daryl," she whispers. "You awake?"
He is lying on his back, one arm stretched out next to him, the other thrown over his eyes. He drops that one and turns his head to face her.
"Naw, not yet."
"Would you mind wakin' me for your shift? I mean, if you don't mind the company?"
He looks at her for a minute. He's thinking. Beth almost tells him to never mind, but then he nods his head. "Yeah, I'll wake ya'. Maybe you can sing some more while we're on watch."
Beth is shocked. She feels the heat flush across her chest and cheeks. She smiles, ear to ear. "Thanks."
"Yeah… Goodnight, Beth."
"Goodnight," she whispers, and Daryl throws his arm back over his eyes.
It feels like she has just closed her eyes when a rough nudge to her shoulder startles her awake. Daryl is squatting down next to her. He stands up as soon as he sees her eyes pop open and disappears out the front door. Beth grabs her hoodie and her boots and carries them out to the front porch.
"Thanks for wakin' me."
He's leaning against the post by the steps, feet crossed at the ankles, keen gray eyes studying her. "He's wonderin' what the hell I want," she thinks. He nods once, a delayed, "your welcome," and turns his head to survey the neighborhood. Beth heads to the post on the other side of the steps and starts pulling on her boots. They stand in amiable silence, listening to the quiet of this new world after dark.
"You doin' a'right," he asks her again. He's chewing on his cuticle when Beth looks over.
She shrugs a single shoulder. "Yeah, I guess…"
Beth wipes at a small blood stain on the toe of her boot with the heel of her other boot. "I'm worried about Lori, ya' know? And the baby? How are we gonna' keep a baby alive? Hard enough with what we got now."
"Only gonna' get harder."
"Yeah. I know… But we'll find a way. I know we will." Beth isn't sure who she's trying to convince exactly, herself or Daryl. She doesn't like that he looks away without agreeing. It makes her worry just a little more.
Daryl stands up straight and aims his crossbow. "Get behind me, girl."
Beth does what he says and peers over his shoulder. She's got his vest twisted in both fists. Daryl tracks a slow line with his bow. Beth can't see anything but black night in front of them. He pulls the trigger and Beth hears a muffled "thump".
"Stay here," he says and breaks away from her. He trots down the stairs and disappears into the dark. In the dim light of the quarter moon, Beth can just make out the angel wings on his back. He kicks at something on the ground then bends down. Beth loses him in the black. Seconds tick by, and she still can't see him. She's considering running in the house, sounding the alarm bells when he reappears in front of her, a little to the right of where she lost him. He's wiping a bolt clean across his thigh as he walks toward her. His crossbow is balanced on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. At the sight of him, her insides do a little flip flop. She shivers, though she's plenty warm in her hoodie and jeans.
"Two of 'em."
"Two?" Beth asks.
"Walkers. Had 'a stab the second one."
Beth didn't see or hear anything before Daryl fired his bow. "How do ya' do that?"
"Do what?"
"Jus'… know when one of them things is near? Then shoot 'em in the dark. I didn't see anything."
"I didn' see anything either."
"Then how the heck did ya' shoot it?"
Daryl shrugs. "Jus' did."
Beth shakes her head and huffs a little laugh. "We'd be in a heap 'a trouble without you, Daryl Dixon."
"Pffff," is his only answer. He lowers the bow to the porch and steadies it with his foot while he reloads. Beth watches the muscles in arms ripple and work. The way each muscle of his forearm pops with the strain of loading the crossbow. Daryl mistakes her attentiveness for curiosity. "Ya' put your foot in here," he says, "in the claw," and tilts the bow to show her the stirrup at the front end. "That plants it while ya' pull the string. Ya' gotta' pull with both hands, even and steady."
Beth pulls her eyes from his arms to his profile. "You make it look easy."
"Naw, just been doin' it a long time."
Beth smiles at him. She wonders how anyone as fierce as Daryl can still be so humble, so self-conscious. She assumes it has something, maybe everything, to do with his upbringing. It's endearing and honest. Two more descriptors to add to the list of things she likes about Daryl.
They sit together, backs against the door, watching the shadows. Beth yawns and Daryl jabs her with his elbow. "You supposed to be helpin' me keep watch, girl. Can't be yawning and shit."
Beth giggles softly. "You're gonna' have to help keep me awake then."
Daryl stiffens a little beside her. Beth isn't sure what she said to make him uncomfortable, but she figures it's best not to let things get too awkward. She scoots away from him a little and turns so that her folded knees rest against his outstretched thigh. "Let's play a game."
"Ain't no good at games."
"This one's easy. It's an icebreaker game."
"A what?"
"An icebreaker game. It's meant to help ya' get to know somebody."
He glances at her out of the corner of his eye and starts chewing on the inside of his lip.
"Don't worry. You don't gotta' answer anything you don't wanna' answer… okay?"
Daryl thinks for a second or two more and finally gives her a little nod. "a'ight. I'll try."
Beth's gentle, encouraging smile grows to a full-on toothy grin at his acquiescence.
"So, it's not so easy with just two people, but that's okay. We'll do the one-word-answer thing. I'll ask you a question and you answer with one word. Then you ask me, and I'll answer you with one word. You can only ask the same question back once. After 5 questions, you have to use the other persons answers in a sentence."
Daryl mulls it over, then puts his game face on, and nods.
"Okay. I'll go first… What's your middle name?"
Daryl scowls at her like she's just asked him to reveal his innermost secret. "Wayne."
Beth smiles at that. Rolls it around on her tongue. "Daryl Wayne Dixon… I like it."
Daryl thinks he likes it too the way Beth says it.
"Your turn."
Daryl looks at her for the longest time, chewing on the inside of his lip. His eyes narrow and Beth thinks he might be worried he's gonna' do it wrong. Say the wrong thing. Piss her off somehow or, worse than that, say something stupid. Beth's heart aches at his insecurity. This amazing man in front her. This man who risked everything searching for a stranger's missing daughter. This man that can kill a walker practically blindfolded. This man that saved their collective ass more than once with fresh meat when otherwise they would have gone to bed hungry again. This incredibly sweet, ruggedly handsome, honest and loyal man sitting next to her in the middle of the end of the world.
"Want me to keep askin' you questions? You can jump in whenever you're ready?"
"hmmmm," her purrs.
Beth takes that as a 'yes' and dives in. "What food do you miss more than anything?"
"Lasagna"
"Oh, yum! I love lasagna. How old are you?"
"Twenty-nine"
"Favorite kind of movie"
"Western"
"Favorite drink"
"Beer"
"Favorite…"
"Hold up, girl. That's five. You gotta' make a sentence."
"Oh! Right!," Beth giggles. "You were payin' attention."
"I always pay attention." The heated way he says that simple sentence sends another shiver down Beth's spine.
She stutters a little under the weight of his stare. "I um…a sentence… um… Wayne ate 29 western lasagnas with his beer. See, when you stop and make a sentence, it helps you remember better. I'll always know that you love lasagna… and beer… and westerns… and I'll know what to call you when I'm yellin' at ya' for making mad… Daryl Wayne Dixon! You better get your butt back here and face me like a man!... Oh, and I know how old ya' are now too. See how useful my little icebreaker game is!"
Daryl sits there staring at her like maybe she's a lunatic. His upper lip keeps jumping like he wants to smile or maybe even laugh, but he holds it in check. "What's the matter with you, girl? You actin' like you done lost yer damn mind."
Beth shrugs. "Maybe I have, Daryl Wayne Dixon. Hard to say…"
He does laugh then. A short little snort followed by a tiny grin and a head shake.
"A'ight. My turn"
Beth sits up a little straighter. She's a bit surprised he's still willing to play along. "Fire away."
"Middle name"
"Leigh. L-e-i-g-h"
He narrows his eyes at her. Takes a minute to think it over. "Sweet or sour"
"Ummm, sweet"
"What 'ja wanna' do after high school?"
"Sing"
Daryl pauses to think again. "Ah hell… I dunno what else to ask that you ain't already said."
"You can use my questions. I don't mind."
"Naw. Gonna' do this right… Car or truck?"
A wicked little, closed-lip grin stretches across Beth's teeth. "Motorcycle"
Daryl's gut does a weird little drop, like going over a hill too fast. He looks at her for a minute. Chews on the inside of his lip. One more question. Better make it count. "Best part of the day."
"Dawn. That's five. Let's hear that sentence, Mr Dixon."
"I told you to knock that shit off."
Beth just giggles at him again. Same as the last time he said it.
Daryl takes a deep breath, like he's jumpin' in the deep end for the first time. Maybe he is. Right now, he's not even sure if he's comin' or goin'. "This girl," he thinks.
"A'ight," he says, and he looks at Beth. Makes sure he can trust her not to poke fun at him before he speaks. "Here goes… Sweet Elizabeth Leigh, L-e-i-g-h, sings to me on my motorcycle at dawn." He's ticked off her answers, word by word, with his fingers, one through five, watching his hand as he does. He looks at Beth through his eyelashes. Deep grey windows, open for the briefest second for her to peak through.
"Oh," Beth opens her mouth to say something else but simply smiles instead. Daryl shrugs at her. His upper lip jumps. A quick up-turn at the corner, and then it's gone. "That's a beautiful sentence, Daryl."
He hums in response. Beth scoots around a half turn so that she is shoulder to shoulder with him again against the door. It's quiet. She's warm in her hoodie. Almost too warm on the side pressed up against Daryl. And it's so dark outside. The longer they sit in this comfortable silence, the heavier Beth's eyelids start to grow.
"How old are you, girl?"
Beth's eyes snap open. "Twenty. Just turned, best I can tell."
"Yeah? Happy Birthday."
"Thanks."
The familiar quiet stretches out between them, and Beth finds it impossible to keep her eyes open. Her head slips to the side and lands on Daryl's shoulder. When dawn arrives, Daryl reaches over and runs a finger down Beth's jaw. Her eyes flutter open, and she picks her head up to look around. A humid fog is rising off the grass. Beth can see the two walkers Daryl put down last night crumpled next to each other on the front lawn. She wasn't lying when she said dawn was her favorite time of day. She watches the light chase away the remnants of the dark. Next to her, Daryl cracks his neck and his back. He hops up and extends a hand to Beth. She takes it gladly and lets him tug her to her feet.
"Ain't lettin' ya' sleep on shift again, girl. That was a freebee. Ya' gonna' be my partner, ya' gotta' pull yer weight." Serious words with no venom in the delivery.
"Yer partner, huh," she says playfully. She figures she'll call him on it since they're getting' things straight and all.
"T-Dog's got Carol. Maggie's got Glenn. Rick's got Carl and Hershel. Reckon I could use a partner too."
"Gotch. Partners it is, Daryl Wayne…"
Daryl scowls at her. She's pretty sure he growls a little too. "Don't worry, goose. Your secrets are safe with me," she promises.
They never stay anywhere more than a couple of nights. Lori's belly grows a little more every day. Beth wonders sometimes if she will ever get the chance to feel what Lori is feeling. To know what it's like to have a baby and watch him or her grow. It wasn't all that long ago that conflicting dreams, one about going to college then settling down and raising a slew of kids and one about runnin' off to Nashville to play in dive bars and honkytonks caused her to worry about the path her future might take. She wonders which dream she would have chosen. Doesn't really matter now she supposes. Not when the biggest worry these days is finding food and shelter and safety. Not when her biggest fear is meeting her end at the bite of a creature she never imagined could exist.
It's was a log hard winter. Spring hasn't treated them much better with all the rain. Beth thinks it's probably May by now. It feels like summer is peaking around the corner. Seven months, best she can figure, of bouncing around without ever really going anywhere. "Why are we staying so close to where we've already been," Beth asks. She and Daryl are sitting on his motorcycle waiting for the others to finish stretching their legs and load up.
"I dunno. Rick thinks we ought 'a stay close to what we know."
"What da' you think?"
Daryl shrugs. "I reckon it's the same all over… Ain't never been across the state line so I don't really know. But we need to find a place to hole' up for a while. Some place we can defend. Sure as shit can't be haulin' no new born all over West Georgia."
"Yeah. Lori's gotta' be 'bout due by now."
Rick makes his way over to the two of them. "Couple more hours 'til dark. We're on a hill. Goes straight down to nothin' right there," he says pointing to a spot in the curve of the road. "If we pull the two vehicles up at an angle, we ought ta' be pretty well protected for the night."
Daryl nods and Rick steps back, heading to the suburban. When the camp is set and everybody is milling about within their makeshift cocoon, Rick spreads the roadmap out on the hood of the car. "I think it's time we think about leaving these parts. See what else is out there. Me and Hershel were talkin' 'bout headin' North, maybe toward DC. See if the east coast was hit as hard as the South."
Daryl nudges Beth. Angles his head to the side. She follows him away from the group. "I'm gonna' see if I can find some dinner in them woods. It's thin, but we might be able to snag a squirrel or two. You comin'?"
Beth can't hardly believe what she's hearing. Daryl hasn'y asked her to go huntin' with him since that first time all those month ago. They take watch shifts together. Beth rides on the back of his bike more often than not. They're an unofficial team at this point, but she's never gone huntin' with him before.
"Uh, yeah… yeah, let's go," she says bouncing on her toes.
She follows him across the road to the little patch of woods on the other side. He's right. It's a thin patch at best. They walk deeper in, still readily able to see their vehicles parked across the road. When they come out the other side, they step up onto the railroad tracks that parallel the highway. Across the tracks, they see The West Georgia Correctional Facility. The yard is teeming with walkers trapped between the inner gate and the outer gate. "That's a damn waste of space," Daryl says before he turns back for the woods.
"Wait," Beth says and grabs his arm. He spins back to stand beside her, but she doesn't let go of his arm. She's doing that pouty lip thing again. That thing she does when she's thinking. He suspects she doesn't even realize she's still hangin' on to him. That's okay. He'll just stand here with his arm on fire. No big deal. He's content to let it burn him to the ground while she stands there thinkin'. And poutin'. And hangin' on to his forearm.
"We could clear a path into that yard. If we could get through that fence and pick off those walkers there," she says pointing to a group of 10 or so rambling bodies in the field, all dressed in gray jumpsuits. "we could close that gate and be protected…"
Daryl looks out over the field and sees exactly what Beth is talking about. "Damn."
Beth whips her head around to face him. He's smiling. It's not a toothy grin, but his lips are definitely turned up at the corners. "What," she asks as a shy, little flush colors her cheeks. "Probably a stupid idea, huh."
"Naw. It ain't stupid. No tellin' what kind 'a shit they still got in there. Might be food enough to feed us fer years. If we can clear it, even part of it, we could protect it too. Ain't stupid at all, girl."
Beth graces him with a beautiful smile. It's enough to knock a man flat on his ass. Daryl has to step back to get his bearings. "Let's go get Rick."
Beth nods, still smilin' to beat the band, and they head back across the highway.