Maddie has a horrific panic attack when Albert comes home drunk and angry after an argument with his dad. In his anger, he throws his ringing phone against the nearest wall. Chimney tries everything he can to get her to calm down, terrified he's going to have to call 911 if she doesn't soon.
By all accounts, it's just a normal evening for them. She comes over, they order in takeout, they kiss, feed each other. He tells her about the woman who gave birth in the ambulance. She tells him how she helped calm down a child who had gotten stuck in the crawl space behind his house. The routine is normal, comforting, what they do. Then he shows up.
He's not expecting him. He had given him a key, told him to come and go as he pleases. He jumps slightly when the door crashes open and he storms in. He takes 1 look at him and can automatically tell, he's drunk. It's his uneasy gate, the way he can't really walk straight, the glazed overlook in his eyes. "Hey, albert, how was your night?"
"How was my night?" His tone is cold, hard, tense. "Great, until he called. It wasn't to tell me that he was proud of me, or that he was happy for me. Do you know what it was for?!"
His voice is growing louder with each word. He can slowly see Maddie's face beginning to lose all color. "What? And you really should calm down." He tries to keep his tone calm, even, he doesn't want to enrage him even more.
"Don't tell me to calm down, you sound just like him. I swear, I don't know why you even try. He obviously doesn't care, doesn't love us, and here you are, all happy. Look at you, you've got your girlfriend, nice place, your life is just perfect, isn't it?" Then his phone rings. Instead of answering it, he takes one look at the display, swings his hand back and throws. The sound of shattering glass follows. But then, there's another, much quieter sound. He looks to his left. Maddie is curled up in a fetal position on the floor, arms rapped around her knees, shaking harder than he's ever seen her shake before.
It's pure instinct. He stands, strides over to Albert, and lightly touches his shoulder. He wants to grab him, throw him against the wall, shake him. But he won't, he can't, he has her to think about. All he can see is the look on her face. The way she's still curled up on the ground. He needs to get Albert out, right now. He needs to be quick, get right back to her, hold her. His teeth are gritted as he leans into him. "Did you even see the look on her face?" He doesn't even wait for his head to shake before he continues. "No of course you didn't, cause it's all about Albert, Isn't it?" He honestly can't remember if he's ever been this angry. "Get out, right now!"
Maybe it's the look on his face, or the level of intensity in his voice. Whatever it is, Albert stumbles towards the door, Chim right behind him, closing it softly so he wouldn't startle her even more. He quickly kneels in front of her, gently placing a light touch to her shoulder. Her reaction is automatic, an immediate flinch, just like when she dropped the plate several months ago. Her face is still stark white, he can here the rapid way she's breathing. He speaks as softly as he knows how. The same way he would if he were calming a terrified child. "Hey, Mads, can you look at me?"
She doesn't respond, just keeps shaking, hands clenched into fists, empty look on her face. He can feel his heart starting to pound with panic. He's scared, he hates seeing her like this. But he can't fall apart, he needs to be there for her. "Okay, that's fine, I'm right here Mads, right here, I'm not going anywhere. Can you try and take a few deep breaths with me?"
Again, there's no response. Her chest continues to rise and fall rapidly. He knows he needs to get her to breathe, knows exactly what will happen if she's not taking in enough oxygen. "Hey, I've got you, in, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4."
It doesn't seem to be working. "Maddie, I promise, I am right here, you are loved, safe, I'm not going to leave you, I promise." He gently uses his thumb to lightly lift her chin. "Mads, I got you. I know, it's the sound of the breaking glass, it brings it all back. But your safe, you're with me, in my kitchen, on the ground, you've just eaten take out. I'm not going anywhere, but I need you to try and breathe for me. Do you think you can do that?"
Maybe it's that she finally starts to look at him. But he can here that her breathing is beginning to get deeper. "Good, that's it, I got you, I'm right here." The shaking hasn't stopped though. "Maddie, is it okay if I touch you?" Again, no response. He slowly moves to sit beside her, and gently raps an arm around her shoulder. "Maddie, hey, you are safe, let it out, I'm not going anywhere."
She doesn't remember the full events of the night. It's funny how the mind works. One minute she's happy, smiling, with the person who makes her feel so safe. The next, she's flashing back to that night. When she had broken those glasses, the way his anger had poured over her in waves. She needs to hide, make herself as small as possible. It's almost like her mind goes dark, completely overcome by the memories of before. She feels her knees hit the ground, notices how it's getting harder and harder to take in air. But then, he's there, beside her. She's vaguely aware of him counting, talking, present, but it's all white noise. But then, he puts an arm around her and says the words that she so desperately needs to hear. "Let it out.". And maybe that's what does it, his touch. It's so gentle, smooth. And his words. The fact that he's telling her that it's okay to not be okay. When he holds her, all the tension she has been building up finally releases and her shoulders rise and fall rapidly as she sobs.