Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Fairy Tail

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of attempted suicide (as the end of the last chapter likely implied it would). I will block off the most descriptive sections with line breaks, if you wish to avoid reading such things (since there is a bit of relationship development/character development in this chapter too, partially as a result of this).

It was dinner, and Levy was excited to finally be done working with Invel for the day. That guy never gave her a break. Really, it was annoying, since she was technically here to help Zeref. However, Zeref also seemed busy himself, so she didn't feel too bad about it. When she sat down in the dining hall, she noticed Zeref wasn't there yet. Still, he was probably just finishing up something with August before joining her. She didn't think much of it, at first.

She saw Irene come in and grab a plate full of food, nodding to her before leaving. A few moments later, Invel seemed to to the same. He gave her a reminder to keep working, before he said he was going to finish up a few tasks of his own in his room as he ate. Yet, she still did not see Zeref. It made her frown for a moment, wondering what he was up to. Which room did he even use for his work? She hardly knew the castle that well yet, only knowing how to get between the rooms she used.

When August arrived and sat down, she knew something was going on. "Is Zeref not working with you?" He glanced towards her, surprised by her complete lack of a greeting.

"Good evening Levy." He paused, frowning for a moment. "As for Zeref…I was under the impression that he would either be resting, or speaking with Invel for the time being."

Yet, Invel had just been here. "Oh." She frowned, glancing at the door. "Is…is he not coming for dinner then?"

Meals were the only time she got to see him. Part of her kept hoping he'd join her in the library again like he had before, but he never did. So, she always made sure to be in the dining room at a consistent time, to see Zeref. "I assume he would. The discomfort of hunger is not something he is familiar with anymore, so I suspect it would actually bother him to some degree." He frowned, glancing behind him. "Then again…he has a lot on his mind. I seem to have given him the impression that Invel spoke with you about one of his own personal matters."

How did that even happen? Frowning, Levy tried to think of what August could have done to imply anything about what Invel was speaking with her about. Likely, it involved how they worked and served Zeref…but then, her mind jumped to the only actual person matter Invel had talked to her about regarding Zeref. "What…what matter?"

"I'm not at liberty to say. His majesty does not wish for others to speak to you of this, unfortunately. Invel simply wasn't aware of that fact before encountering you here, so he seems to be worried that he has done so already."

Yet, she had a sinking feeling that Invel had. "I…I'm going to check on him."

"It is likely best to leave him to his thoughts. Considering the topic, I would not be too concerned."

Yet, Levy was. He was always at meals with her, always. Maybe it had only been a little over a week, so the absolute was a bit extreme…but she didn't like seeing him breaking this habit. She wanted him to join her. "Then…I'll use bringing him something to eat to excuse what I'm doing." She randomly threw together a meal for him, not really caring what it was. August frowned, watching as she left without letting him argue against her again.

She knew the way to his room without much thought by this point. It was right next to hers, which made it easier to remember. Stopping outside, she hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath. What would she even say, if he actually knew what Invel told her? What would he say? She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She would deal with it when it came. So, for now, she knocked on the door, putting a smile on her face and waiting. When no answer came, she knocked again, and called out towards him. "Zeref? Sorry to bother you…but I noticed you weren't at dinner, so I thought I'd bring you something to eat while you…worked."

There was still no response, making her frown. Was he sleeping? Hesitantly, she placed her hand over the door knob. If…if he had at least told her to go away, she would have done so. But this? The silence was making her heart pound, remembering how she saw him that first night still. It…it wasn't impossible, but she was afraid of seeing that again. So, she swallowed, bracing herself and walking inside. He could get mad at her later…but she needed to make sure he was okay.

The moment she stepped inside, everything inside of her locked up and seemed to freeze. The plate fell from her hands, crashing onto the floor and shattering at her feet. Zeref was leaning against the wall, weakly breathing on the ground. He was holding that same dagger from before…yet this time, it was already dripping red with his blood. Levy could see slashes all down the sides of his torso, trailing further down onto his legs, explaining why he was sitting and refusing to stand. His eyes were closed, and there was actually a smile on his face as he seemed to trace his skin with the tip of the dagger again, before moving to slice into his leg again, just a little further down.

Unlocked from her frozen state, Levy charged forward. This couldn't be happening. She was supposed to keep him alive. That was all she had to do here. Tears were on her cheeks already, and she felt like her heart was shattering, seeing him like this. "Zeref, please stop this." She crouched down, easily pinning his arms in his weakened state. Her grip held his hands against the wall, this time careful enough to make sure he couldn't still make things worse by drifting another limb towards the dagger.

He looked up towards her, something dark hazing over in his eyes. "I'll stop when you do."

When she stopped what? Her eyes went wide, wondering what he even meant. He chuckled, shaking his head with his laugh growing louder, almost sounding on the brink of insanity. The door to his room shut on its own as he laughed, the thump seeming to snap him out of his laughter for a moment. "You don't know, do you? Oh…secrets are their own sort of torture, wouldn't you agree? I know what Invel assumed now…what you didn't want me to know." He laughed again, shaking his head. "Your concern should move me…yet you really don't understand in the slightest. You are young, and you have not suffered the fate of loving and losing in the past…knowing, Levy, is always better than remaining ignorant. This torture…I care little for it. I care little for this future of mine in general…so what should I really focus on then?" He laughed again, shaking his head before choking, coughing violently as the action likely strained one of his injuries. "My future is empty…and all I wish is to find an end. I will lose August soon…and I never really had a chance with you to begin with, did I?"

No. This wasn't…it couldn't be her fault. Her heart stopped for a moment, and she couldn't breath. He was doing this…because he knew what Invel told her. He knew…and he assumed that by not saying anything, she wanted nothing to do with him. "Zeref…if you were that worried, you could have just talked to me…" She trailed off, feeling her throat close over. Really, she should have approached him long ago…but she had been afraid. She'd been afraid that Invel was wrong…but was the pain that knowing he didn't have an interest in her really worse than seeing this?

Swallowing, Levy gazed into his eyes, wishing August were here to at least say something. Anyone would be better than her here right now. "And what would that have accomplished?" His voice was weak, and his breathing was still rather shallow. He made no effort to fight against her, and she could feel blood dripping onto her dress, soaking it into a dark red stain in scattered spots.

"You wouldn't have done something stupid like this!" She glared at him, pressing her forehead against his. "You wouldn't have…Zeref, didn't I tell you I wanted Invel to be right?" He didn't answer, frowning at her. "So why on earth would you think…would you think that I…that you didn't…" She couldn't think straight right now. She was angry, guilty, and terrified all at once. A part of her knew not to shout at Zeref, yet she couldn't stop herself. Something…she had to do something, and really, it was the only thing she could think of to do.

"Because there is no logical reason for you, or anyone, to care for me." Zeref met her gaze, narrowing his eyes. "As unusual as it seems, I could explain why…why you'd wish for Invel to be correct, despite not returning my affections. That…that made sense. As your friend, you were concerned over what rejection would do to my mental health…but you also believed it to be healthy for me to have such wishes for my future." His voice was detached, not really putting emotion into his words. "I am tired of it, Levy. I am tired…of being so fragile that I can't handle the slightest hint of change without shattering. Of being so fragile…that my every thought only seems to send me further into the darkness. I can't…there's no light anymore, Levy. There's nothing left…nothing but more pain and despair, and even if I had a dream for the future, the darkness would swallow it whole…and I would remain like this, broken and empty…with nothing further to live for."

His eyes had fallen downward, his head hanging against his chest. She could see it rising and falling evenly, yet she heard as his breath hitched after a moment. He coughed again, shaking his head and looking up to stare at her once more. "Zeref…are you…do you really think so little of yourself?" He didn't respond, and Levy stared into his eyes. He wouldn't believe a thing she said, would he? Yet, she needed him to. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, desperation now adding into the haze of emotions she was losing track of as she watched him fall apart. "Please…please, I know…I know it might not make sense. But, Zeref…what do you think I've been working towards? I don't…I don't know what the future will bring. But…I know that I want you in my future, Zeref. Can't you at least believe that much?"

His dark gaze studied her for a moment, frowning. "I…Levy, why? Why would you stay? Fairy Tail…they are a family that will embrace you. Alvarez…well, I suppose I just spoke to August about this." He sighed, closing his eyes. "The answer matters little…perhaps I've managed to do enough damage…for the wounds to take care of the rest."

His head was swaying to the side slightly, his hands hanging limply in her grip. Shaking her head violently, Levy's vision blurred behind tears. "No! Zeref, don't you dare!" She let go of his hands, no longer caring about what he was trying to do. They fell limply by his sides, the dagger slipping from his grip and onto the ground. "I'm not…I'm not letting you go through with this. Do you understand me?" She wasn't getting through to him at all. He ignored her entirely, and he seemed so intent on finishing himself off. What could she even say to get his attention? He wouldn't believe her if she claimed she loved him now…that she needed him to stay here. He would claim she was saying it just to save him.

A weak smile flashed across his face, and he seemed to laugh at himself. "Even now…I'm finding reasons to create a fantasy that there is more to this than it is. I suppose it isn't…the worst thing I could do." He sighed, and Levy shook her head at him yet again. This couldn't be happening. She wasn't this powerless, was she?

His hand gently ran across her cheek, making her eyes widen at how light his fingers really were against her skin. "Don't worry…it'll be over soon. You'll…be happier, I suppose…without worrying over me in the future."

Couldn't he see how horrible it was for him to think that? Yet…it showed he still had some twisted logic wanting to make her feel better. "I won't be happier…this won't make anyone happier, so just…" She didn't even know what to ask. August might be able heal him, after seeing Wendy do the same…but she couldn't trust Zeref to not make things worse after she left.

"You'll see…this is what is best." He closed his eyes, and Levy did the same, leaning forward and pressing her forehead to his. She didn't want this to happen.

With her gaze lowered, she spotted that stupid knife of his again, resting on the carpet. She hated the fact that it was even here. Who even thought it was a good idea to let him have it back again? She glared at it, as if the dagger itself was the cause of her problems. She glared at it…because it felt better to blame an inanimate object for this than it did to feel the pain of knowing she did this. It was her responsibility to stop it as the one that caused it…yet she couldn't. What could she do?

Gazing at the dagger, she felt a chill rush through her body. Zeref…claimed to be doing this to make her feel better. While she didn't understand that logic, it showed that he still wanted to protect her in some way, right? Leaning away from him, Levy hardened her gaze, wondering if she could even have the willpower to pull this off. She needed him to believe her, though. So, reaching over, she felt her own hand wrap around the hilt of the blade. Didn't this sort of thing happen in romance novels all the time anyway? It had an odd sort of thrill, thinking about it like she was some heroine in a book, playing a role that she never thought she'd be strong enough to fill.

Lifting her gaze, she saw Zeref had frowned, glancing towards her in confusion. "Levy…what are you—?"

"I'm taking away your suffering, just like you asked me to do." Lifting the dagger slowly, Levy met his gaze and held the blade towards her arm, lifting her eyebrows in a challenge. "Didn't you say I was the cause of your torture? Then this should be a suitable answer to stopping it as well."

His eyes widened, suddenly looking more alert than he had since Levy walked into the room. "No. Levy…I won't—"

"Then why should I let you do the same?" He watched her, his eyes filled with a deep suffering that she could hardly describe. It was partially physical, yet she could see that he had grown used to this kind of pain. Levy didn't even want to know what had pushed him to the point where torture like this was hardly noticeable. "If you won't stop this Zeref…then I am going to go through with it. Just stop…and listen to me, for just a few moments."

He watched her, his eyes glued to the dagger in her hand. After a moment, he slowly nodded, focusing on her gaze. "I…it likely won't be long…"

"Then I will get August, and we'll talk about it after he helps you." She dared him to challenge her, seeing him hesitate still.

"That…Levy, I don't want…"

"To suffer?" She leaned down, locking eyes with his dark irises. "I'm suffering, watching you do this to yourself. I'm suffering…hearing you say you'll never believe that I'd care for you. I'm suffering…knowing that you are only doing this because I couldn't bring myself to talk to you."

His breath hitched slightly, before evening out as much as it had been before. Zeref was shaking his head, with his eyes wide. "I…this wasn't meant to make you…"

"But it does." She gazed at him steadily, leaning away and holding out her arm, the blade pressing into her skin. How far would she have to go? How far could she go? Something about using his own twisted logic against him felt wrong, but she was out of ideas on how to get through to him. "I…I love you, Zeref. I was just afraid…afraid that Invel might've been wrong. Why can't you…believe that?"

There was something in his eyes that seemed to flash at her words, almost brightening for a moment before he shook his head at her again. This time, he didn't speak, but she could still see him denying what she told him. Angered, she glared at him, pressing the knife into her skin just hard enough to draw her own blood this time. "Then I guess I will have to do this. That's how it works, right? If I suffer, I'm supposed to stop it like this. If I cause suffering, it only means I'm helping by doing this." She watched his eyes widen, landing on her arm and watching as blood ran down it. She winced slightly as she deepened the cut, pulling back from the sensation and biting her lip. That was only once…and Zeref had done a lot more, all a lot deeper than that one.

"Levy…please, don't—"

"I'll stop when you do." She turned his own words back against him, moving the dagger down her arm slightly. Bracing herself, she tried to release the tension in her arm first, hoping that the relaxed muscles would make it feel a little less painful. However, as the knife cut through her skin again, she still grimaced, gritting her teeth and letting out a slight whimper. The tears falling from her eyes were no longer just out of desperation, but out of pain from the stinging on her arm that wasn't fading. Still, she blinked through them to glare at Zeref again, daring him to say something else. "That's what you told me, right? The same holds true now. We both put a stop to this together, or not at all."

Yet, she was almost certain she couldn't go that far. Levy didn't actually want to die, despite being desperate to stop him. She would still go as far as possible to convince him of that, though. However far it took…she would go right to the brink of death, if it meant stopping Zeref from completely falling over. Slowly, he watched her, his gaze seeming locked on the blood flowing down her arm, mingling with the splatters on her skin from where Zeref had already been bleeding. Levy knew she had probably done something rather stupid by not caring about the sanitary issue of it all, but it had been an impulsive decision made in her panic. Whatever happened as a result, she'd deal with later.

Levy moved the dagger down again, flexing her fingers slightly as she took a deep breath. How many cuts would it take? She was preparing for another when she felt a hand reach out, grabbing her wrist. "Stop." She looked towards Zeref, seeing him inhale shakily. "Stop…and get August."

"And you'll wait for him to get here?" Zeref looked at her, a pleading look in his eyes.

"Please…don't…don't make me watch you do this…"

"Then promise me you won't make me watch you do the same. Promise me…that I won't come back with August to find you…dead." Her voice broke on the last word, choking slightly. The sound seemed to make Zeref frown at her, before he looked away.

"If…if you don't hurry…I won't be able to make such guarantees."

Studying his eyes, Levy warred with whether or not she could trust him or not. They seemed to be losing some of that crazed expression she had seen before, the dark joy that she had walked into. So, she nodded, hesitating one last moment before getting to her feet. He very well could be right…he was bleeding so much and had already lost a lot of blood already. Likely, talking to her was the only thing keeping him conscious at this point, despite how coherent he managed to make himself sound.

Leaning forward, she quickly pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes for a moment as her heart seemed to skip a beat from the motion. It really wasn't a good time for this…but there might not be another time for it either. Zeref's lips felt soft and warm, just like she remembered from her own delirium before. Pulling back, she gazed into Zeref's dark eyes, seeing them wide as they returned her gaze. "I'm trusting you, then. I will be back with August soon."

( Note to those that did not read: Levy has gone to get August to heal Zeref, after convincing him to get help by injuring herself as well.)

With that, she rose to her feet, her entire body feeling like it was on the verge of giving out anyway. Still, she had to move. There was a faint trembling taking over her arms, and as she ran out of the room, rushing towards the dining hall, she ignored everything else. If she stopped, she'd collapse. She couldn't let that happen, not now. As she moved, she vaguely recalled the sensation of the dagger in her grip, and realized that she was clenching it tight enough to make her hand grow numb. Yet, she still couldn't relax. She couldn't relax a thing, because she didn't know what would happen if she did.

The dining hall was still calm, like she remembered. August was sitting down and finishing his meal alone, after she had run out before. "Did his—" August broke off, turning towards her and seeing her state. Hardening his gaze, August moved towards her swiftly, grabbing her shoulders and gazing into her eyes. "Where is he?"

"His room." She didn't have to say anything else. In an instant, the dining room vanished around them as August activated his magic, taking them both away. Once again, she was back in Zeref's room. August spun around, turning towards his father with a calm practiced motion. How many times had he done something like this? August hardly seemed surprised that Zeref was in this state.

His hands moved towards Zeref, resting on his shoulders as he closed his eyes. "You are lucky I had the chance to witness that dragon slayer's magic." Zeref nodded numbly, glancing towards Levy.

"Her…too. I won't…we agreed to do this together." August frowned at that, glancing towards Levy. However, Zeref was watching her too, so all she could do was nod in agreement. With that, Zeref seemed satisfied, meeting August's gaze. "Then go ahead."

She saw the familiar glow of magic surround August, an aura she was used to seeing around Wendy. It had a warm feel to it, like a summer breeze washing over her skin. Even without being the target of the spell, she could sense the relief it offered. Zeref's skin seemed to slowly close over his previous wounds, the bleeding halted for the time being. When Zeref seemed to be healed, August nodded and pulled back. "Father…ask us for assistance, if you feel as if this will happen again."

He moved to leave, but Zeref grabbed his wrist, shaking his head. "No. Levy…too." August frowned, glancing towards her. Biting her lip, Levy walked towards him, holding out her arm so he could see the slashes she had made.

He raised his eyebrows at her, frowning in confusion ."Why? What purpose could this possibly serve for you?"

"To get him to agree to this…" She trailed off, speaking quietly to try and avoid Zeref hearing. August slowly nodded, taking her hand and sighing.

"I see." She felt the magic rather than saw it this time. As she had predicted, Wendy's magic was a warm and pleasant sensation, washing over her skin and focusing on the stinging pain in her arm. It faded away more with each second, and before long, it was gone entirely. August released her hand, watching her closely. "Can I assume you will ensure he does not do this again?"

Nodding, Levy glanced down at Zeref, who seemed to be watching her every move. Holding out the dagger towards August, she closed her eyes. "Take this. I don't know who let him have a knife back in the first place…but he can't be near one, not like this." August nodded, taking it from her grip before leaving.

"Of course." He vanished from the room, letting the door shut with a soft thump. Silence spread between her and Zeref, and the longer it lasted, the more her eyes burned. Exhaustion set in as the adrenaline wore off, and Levy's shaky legs finally gave out completely. She fell to the ground, crouching down as her own tears seemed to catch in her throat, becoming sobs as images of Zeref's torn form filled her mind. She had caused this. It was her own fault, yet she still hadn't convinced him to not go back.

"Levy?" She heard Zeref's soft voice, but she couldn't speak. "What…I did as you wished. Why are you still upset?"

Shaking her head, she crawled over towards him, no longer caring for what he saw or thought. Burying her head into his stomach, she lied down on the ground, using his legs as a pillow. It wasn't the most comfortable way to rest, but she needed him here. "Because…I can't help but think you'll do this again once I leave…"

She could feel Zeref's sigh from the way his stomach shifted in and out from the exaggerated breath. "I see." His hand gently brushed over her hair, stroking it carefully. "Did…was I mistaken, or did you kiss me?" He was asking about that now? She glared at him, only to see the expression in his eyes. There was a faint light glimmering there, a sign that he was coming back. Seeing that, her glare softened, and she nodded, snorting faintly.

"Yeah…yeah, I guess I did." She turned her head again, pressing it into his stomach. "I thought…you made me think I wouldn't make it. That…that you'd be gone…"

She felt him gently press his lips into her hair, a soft gesture that brought heat to her cheeks, despite the situation. "I'm sorry. Levy…I'm sorry, for nearly destroying so much." His voice held an unfamiliar sweetness to it, speaking softly as if he were afraid of something. Looking towards him, she saw that same glimmer of light, but it was mixed with an unknown fear. What was he afraid of now? Then, she remembered how she'd stopped him. "Levy…I…" He swallowed, looking away and towards the wall for a moment. Something hardened in his gaze, and he seemed to nod to himself. "I won't do this again. This…this time, it was too…too painful, seeing you do the same. If you had actually joined me in that state…" He trailed off, his eyes looking distant. "I haven't the faintest idea of what I would have done…and even if I wished to, I would not have been in any state to stop you."

"How do you think I felt?" She stared at him, while he closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry." That seemed to be his favorite phrase at the moment. However, what else could he offer? Sitting up, she decided to favor leaning against his chest as opposed to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her there as he rested his cheek against her hair. "Please…I promise to stop doing this to myself…so can you at least offer me the same assurance?"

That was what had him so afraid. She had been right before to think so. Nodding, she closed her eyes, feeling ready to collapse. "Mmhm." She mumbled, barely agreeing to his words.

"Levy?" He frowned, before sighing. "Ah. I suppose…I suppose this was rather taxing, wasn't it?" She felt his arm gently lift her, cradling her against his chest. She made a slight whine of objection, but he seemed to ignore it. "Can I assume you are also still not trusting me enough to remain alone?" She nodded, weakly opening her eyes to see a faint smile on his face. Walking slowly, he moved over to is own bed, laying her down there. Without even waiting for her to object, he moved to the other side, crawling in next to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Then rest. I will still be here when you awaken, Levy. Please…please forgive me, for everything I've put you through." She felt his head press itself into the back of her neck, his voice breaking slightly at his words. Yet, why would she be angry at him? No, the only person she was angry with was herself. She knew Zeref would jump to the worst possible conclusion if he heard about what Invel told her…but she hadn't realized just what that assumption would cost him. With tears in her eyes, she gently placed her hand over his own on her stomach, feeling guilty for actually being happy that he was here with her. Really, if anyone didn't deserve the other in this relationship, it was her for being so selfish as to let him do this to himself out of a little fear of rejection.

Well...I did warn you that this story would get angsty and a bit dark earlier. My stories about Zeref tend to do that...but I get the feeling that this one is more excessive than usual for me. Either way, I hope you found this interesting in some form. I remember crying when I first wrote this scene...but I sorta got used to it the more I worked on edits and revisions. Feel free to review and tell me what you think!