Chpt 12: (What May Come) We'll Be Good

Daryl hands Beth his crossbow and tells her she needs to learn to shoot it just in case something happens to him. Beth tells him "no". Tells him it would be useless in her hands. "I don't even have the strength to load it, or string it, or whatever you call it. It's all I can do to hang on to it while you take a pee break. Just keep teachin' me how to survive out here. Make sure you stay alive so you can hold on to it yourself."

Daryl grumbles something unintelligible and Beth kisses him on the cheek. He flicks his wrist and lightly shoves her shoulder. Smiles when she turns around and leads the way. She asked him to teach her how to track. Asked him how he knows where to go and what to look for. "Signs are there,' he says. "Just gotta' know how to read 'em."

She is getting pretty good at discriminating one set of tracks from another. Moves through the trees as quietly as he does. She can find her way through the woods and back to camp without his help now, although they never go anywhere without each other. She learns quickly how to navigate the woods using nature's cues and clues. Pays attention to every detail. They are tracking a deer, Beth in the lead, when they pass a tent tucked back behind a huge rotting log. Daryl scoots around her and aims his bow. Nods. Beth unzips the tent and a swarm of flies take flight. She stumbles backward coughing and swatting at the air. Daryl sticks his head in the tent to see if there are any threats beyond the flies. Inside he finds two dead bodies, both female. One is slumped to the side. The other is lying across the first. Each has a single gunshot wound to the head. Daryl grabs the gun and zips the tent. Spins Beth and shoos her back to the trail they were following. She doesn't need to see the carnage. He can at least protect her from that.

They walk a little further and the deer tracks disappear. Beth looks around and sees a new set of tracks. They form a heavy zig-zag pattern in the soft forest floor. "It's a walker," she says, and Daryl hums his affirmation. Beth smiles. Says, "I'm getting' good at this, Mr. Dixon. Soon I won't need you at all." The words no more leave her mouth before her eyes go wide and the smile slides from her face. She throws her arms around Daryl's neck and squeezes him to her. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Hey," he says tenderly. "Beth… Hey, look at me."

He pulls her arms from around his neck and hangs on to her wrists. "It's okay. I knew what ya' meant. I'm glad you're learnin' to take care 'a yourself. Just don't forget, we're better together a'ight?." Beth nods, and a few wayward tears make a run for it down her cheeks. She looks so pitiful. It nearly breaks his heart. "Beth, sweetheart, its okay." He pulls her against his chest, and she wraps her arms around his middle. They stand there for a quiet minute while Beth pulls herself together. Daryl pats her on the back and tells her they need to get moving. Kisses her on the forehead and pulls her along next to him.

The walker tracks veer off into a thick tangle of ground cover. "Do we follow it" Beth asks. "Keep trackin'?" They both look when they hear the snapping and growling start. It's close. A single walker by the sound of it, but there is no movement that either one of them can see. Daryl figures it must be trapped close by. He eases past the point where the tracks make the turn. Leans in to see if he can see it. A rotting hand swipes at his boot but doesn't move any closer. Daryl uses his bow to move the dead leaves and spread the weeds. This one has been here a while. There isn't much skin left over the exposed bones of the walker's skull. Daryl smashes it with his boot like it's no more than a crunch bug. The bones crumble and nearly turn to ash without the usual spray of walker goo.

They walk on ahead and look for a place to camp. Find a natural alcove in the side of a small hill. It's big enough for Daryl to lean back and stretch his legs out. Beth starts a small cooking fire a few yards outside of the alcove and heats up the leftover rabbit from lunch. They top it off with the last of the berries Beth collected yesterday. After dinner, Daryl lays back on the grass and closes his eyes. Tells Beth to sing somethin'.

"I can hear you smilin'," he grouses. He's right. Beth is sitting cross legged at his hip grinnin' at his request.

"I thought my singin' annoyed you."

Daryl's eyes pop open, and he frowns at her. "Why you think that?"

"I don't know. I just… My singin's not for everyone."

"You're crazy, girl. Your singin's one of my favorite things… besides, ain't no jukebox so…" He throws his forearm over his eyes and tries to keep from smiling.

Beth hums a little intro and starts singing a song that Daryl doesn't recognize.

It's unclear now what we intend

We're alone in our own world

You don't wanna' be my boyfriend

And I don't wanna' be your girl

And that, that's a relief

We'll drink up our grief

And pine for summer

And we'll buy beer to shotgun

And we'll lay in the lawn

And we'll be good

Now I'm laughing at my boredom

At my string of failed attempts

Because you think that it's important

And I welcome the sentiment

And we talk on the phone at night

Until it's daylight

And I feel clever

And I hear the slow in your speech

Yeah, you're half asleep

Say goodnight

Now I've got friendships to mend

I'm selfishly dispossessed

You don't wanna' be my boyfriend

And that's probably for the best

Because that, that gets messy

And you will hurt me

Or I'll disappear

So we will drink beer all day

And our guards will give way

And we'll be good

Beth finishes her song and lays her head on Daryl's stomach. "Never heard that before. Pretty."

"You liked it?"

"Yeah. It's good."

Beth pulls his hand from where it rests across her middle and starts playing with his fingers. "I wrote it… after you climbed my treehouse. I knew I liked you. You were real, you know? Strong and kind." Daryl is peeking at her from beneath his forearm. "Cute too," she says shyly.

"Pfff"

"When I wrote it, I couldn't imagine you'd ever see me as anything more than just another dead girl… But I hoped."

"Hey," he says softly and laces their fingers together, "tell me somethin' good."

Beth drops his hand and rolls to her belly. Pushes up on her knees and hovers over him, face to face. "I love you, Daryl Dixon." She leans down and places a tender kiss on his lips. Pulls back and nips at his lower lip playfully. Daryl growls and rolls her to her back. Pushes white-blond wisps of hair back from her face. Tells her he loves her too. Then kisses her soundly. They part, nearly panting and Beth sighs. They haven't been together since that one night at the prison. Beth can still feel his hands here, there, and everywhere when she thinks about it. Every second is etched in her memory. She longs for a safe place to stay where they can kiss and touch and explore each. Drift off to sleep together without the worry of walkers or human predators sneaking up on them in the night.

Daryl pops up from the ground and pulls Beth with him. "We need to practice your bobbin' and weavin'," he says.

That's another thing she asked him to teach her… How to fight. Daryl said, "Nah. It ain't about fightin'. You need to learn how to protect yourself… How to escape."

He's teaching her to use her speed and her weight to maneuver around a threat, a human threat. Daryl is fully aware of what could happen to Beth if the wrong kind of guy got ahold of her... There are things worse than death. It makes him sick to think about it.

She's getting better at dodging his attacks. "Bend your knees. Stay on your toes. Keep movin'," he says. He lunges at her, and she bonces to the side. Spins to face him, and readies for another attack.

"No, Beth!" he says, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice. "Don't turn back to fight. You run! Run like hell and get away."

"But, what if there's more than one of 'em? And, and… you're fightin' the rest of 'em? I can't just run away, Daryl. I'm not gonna' leave you! You said yourself we're better together…"

"We are, but I ain't worth you getting' killed over, Beth. You gotta'…"

"Don't say that!" she interrupts. "Don't you ever say that again. You think it's okay that I get away and you die? What then? I can't make it on my own. I don't want too. I would much rather go down fightin' right by your side."

He gets it. He really does. He feels the same way. But it isn't just about her dying. He can handle the thought of her dying better than he can handle the thought of her being abused. He shakes his head. Tries to figure out how to make her understand.

"Daryl," she says gently and grasps his forearm. "I get that you think keeping me alive is a part of your purpose. But, things ain't like they used to be. The way the world is now… the way we are now… it's all or nothin'. I can't survive without you, not on my own, and you don't wanna' survive without me. Somebody comes along and tries to take us out, we go down together…"

"Beth, they're people in this world that see a beautiful gal like you, and killin' ain't their first thought. You have ta' run. I can take care 'a myself. You run, and I'll find ya'. I promise."

He is desperate for her to understand. For her to trust him and agree to run. Beth can see the fear in his eyes. Knows it comes from a place of love. She sighs and nods. Tells him she'll run. Promises to stick to the woods and leave a trail. Her acquiescence also comes from love. She kisses him softly. Smiles and tells him she wants to keep practicing.

They spar until they are both exhausted, especially Beth. She's getting physically stronger every day. Becoming mentally tough as well. When the sun starts to fade, the set up their alarm across the opening of the alcove. Two rows of metal junk, one knee high and one chest high will keep them safe tonight. Beth lays her head in Daryl's lap. Asks him how he learned to fight. He tells her about following Merle around when he was a kid. Says Merle was always lookin' for a fight. "He's ten years older 'an me so I was fightin' guys twice my size when I was a little kid. Got the shit beat out 'a me most 'a the time, but I learned how ta' dodge a punch. Keep 'em busy while Merle did his thing. Sometimes winning's more about not gettin' punched than it is about landin' one."

"Is that why you're always movin'?"

"What," he says and looks at her like she's crazy.

"You're always rockin' back and forth on your toes... especially when you're worried or, you know, worked up."

"Worked up?"

"Yeah, you know," she says again. "Like if someone you care about is being threatened or if you're fired up at somebody. When you're upset. You're always movin'."

Daryl squints at her. Hums his response. Wonders if she's right.

"Did you like fightin'?" she asks.

"Sometimes, I guess. Felt good to hit somethin' you know? Some asshole passin' judgement 'cause he thought he could. I used to get so mad. Run my mouth. I didn't usually start it, but I was happy ta' finish it."

"You're not like that anymore. I remember when you first got ta' the farm. You had that awful necklace of walker ears around your neck…"

"Damn, girl. Why you gotta' bring that up?"

Beth giggles and looks up at him. It's not so dark yet that she can't see the pink flush across his cheeks and ears. "You're embarrassed. That's proof right there you've changed."

"Thanks to you… and your dad, Rick. Everything we been through."

"Your brother seems like maybe he's changed too. I don't know him that well, but from what you've said and from what I've seen, it's like he's lost that chip he carried on his shoulder when he first showed up."

"Yeah… I ain't makin' an excuse, but when you grow up like we did, you just assume everybody's lookin' down on ya' cause of where ya' came from. New world changed everything. Guys like me and Merle sort 'a became useful. Found a purpose like you said."

"Yeah, but you coulda' used your powers for evil if you had that kind of heart. But you don't. You have a good heart. I think maybe Merle does too under all that macho swag of his."

Daryl huffs at that. "Maybe Carol softened him up the way you did me."

"Maybe. But you were half way there before I ever got ahold of ya'."

Daryl doesn't know how to respond. Truth is he's proud of the man he has become. He still doesn't care much for people in general, but he can admit that it's good to be respected for who you are and what you have to offer as a person. He's thinking about the way Hershel smiled at Rick when he was on his knees in front of the governor. The way Hershel smiled at him when he gave his blessing for Daryl to be with Beth. Hershel thought of them as his sons. Glen too. Daryl misses his family more than he would like to admit.

"Daryl?"

"Hmmm?"

"What were ya' thinkin' about?"

"What?"

"Just now, you disappeared."

Daryl looks at their hands. Beth is playing with his fingers again. She says she loves his hands. He wonders if she might actually be crazy for real when she says shit like that. If she is crazy, he's decided it's the right kind of crazy, and he'll take it.

"I was just thinking 'bout your dad… Family. I liked the farm. Would 'a been a nice place ta' grow up."

"It was... It wasn't always easy. Lots of work to do, but I miss it. I miss my treehouse. When I was little, I wanted to live in a treehouse when I grew up. I'm thinkin' maybe I still do."

Daryl laughs a little at that. A picture of the two of them shackin' up in a house built between two big oak trees flashes through his mind.

"What possessed you to climb my treehouse that night?" she asks out of the blue.

"I dunno'. I uh… Somethin' about ya', you know? I just put Dale down. Wasn't sure what ta' do with that. I guess I knew you'd make me feel better. Wouldn't judge me."

"I'm glad you did. Climb my treehouse, I mean."

"Yeah, well I almost didn't…"

"Why? What do ya' mean?"

"I mean, you scared the hell out 'a me too. Never seen nobody smile sa' damn much. Thought ya' might be a little touched in the head."

"Daryl," she whines and slaps his hand. "That's not very nice," she says, but she can't help but smile.

"See, there you go again. Always smilin' and shit."

Her smile grows and she can't help but laugh. Now her cheeks are pink, and she is shaking her head at his teasing. He's smiling too. Studying her face. Then his expression changes. He's still smiling, but his eyes land on hers and it's like he is trying to tell her something without having to say anything.

"What is it," she whispers.

Daryl keeps looking at her. Shrugs. Mumbles something akin to "I dunno'."

Beth shrugs back. "Don't 'I dunno'," she says sweetly. "What is it?"

He's chewing on the inside of his lip now. Debating on whether or not to say what he's thinking out loud. Figures he should probably trust that same feeling that sent him up her treehouse so long ago. "Fell in love with ya' that night. You put your hand over my heart. Said you thought I was good… inside, you know? Where it counts. Never figured you could love me back, though."

Beth crawls to his lap. Straddles his thighs so she can see his face. "I do love you, Daryl. You know that, right? You can feel it here?" she asks and lays her hand over his heart like she did all those nights ago.

Daryl leans up and answers her with an amatory kiss. Beth responds in kind. Opens her mouth and takes things deeper. Daryl follows her lead. Slips his hands under her shirt. The moon is a little more than three-quarters gone. The night is black, and Daryl is tempted to lay her down and show her exactly how much he loves her. His hands slide over her bare skin, and his knuckles scrape against her ribs. He kisses her thoroughly, and things escalate quickly. Daryl rides the wave. Plunders her mouth with his tongue. Beth matches his fervor and moans under her breath, careful to keep the noise to a minimum. Daryl's hands slide to her breasts and knead the plump mounds that fit perfectly in his palms. His thumbs slide lightly across her bra, and Beth's thighs clinch around his as heat rises from her center and explodes across her chest. She focuses solely on his touch. Lets everything else fade away. Her lips slip from his, and her head rolls back. Daryl sets to work on her neck, and she grabs his shoulders. Rocks against him. Sucks her lip between her teeth and gives herself over to him completely. Gone is the self-doubt she felt that first night with Daryl. The worry that she might disappoint him with her inadequate experience. Daryl is patient and kind and he makes her feel safe and confident and beautiful. The nerves that caused her to tremble beneath him, wide-eyed and ignorant of what lay ahead are now on fire with what she knows is coming. She wants to climb that sensuous mountain again. Wants to see the stars explode behind her eyes when she falls apart. Now that she knows the places she can go under his touch, the places she can take Daryl with her mouth and her hands, she is a woman on a mission.

Daryl slips his thumbs under her bra and roughly circles the pebbled peaks of her breasts. Her hips jerk against his center instinctively. She tightens her grip on his shoulders and arches into him needing more. He watches her in awe. Drags his thumbs lightly across both breasts. She whispers his name. Presses down on his growing bulge. Pushes harder into his hands. He swipes his thumbs across her again, harder this time and she starts to rock, back and forth in rhythm with his ministrations. Beth growls and attacks his mouth. Daryl rolls her peaks between his fingers and Beth bites down on his lower lip. He scoops her ass and lays her down beneath him. The moss is cool against her back, but she barely notices. Daryl is as frantic as she is. He kisses her hard on the mouth and pulls away with a pop. Leaves a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her neck and back up to her ear. Slows his roll and kisses her so ardently, Beth's toes actually curl inside her boots.

Daryl pulls his arm from beneath her and props his head on the heal of his hand. He rucks her t-shirt up to her chin and Beth yanks it the rest of the way off. She reaches behind her and unhooks her bra. Tosses it to the side, and tugs at the hem of his tee. Daryl slips it over his head. Has the fleeting thought that this probably isn't the best idea, but no warning bells are ringing in his ears. He trusts his gut. Lets Beth pull him to her for a searing kiss. He slides his hand across her belly and down to her jeans. Pops the button and frees the zipper. Beth lifts her hips, and he slides her bottoms down just enough. He surprises her when he takes one of her pert breasts into his mouth. Beth's hands fly to his head and scrape across his scalp. The more he maneuvers, the more she arches and writhes beneath him. She hooks her foot around his calf and slides her boot up his leg. Presses into his heavy thigh nestled against her core.

He lets go of her breast and she whimpers but relaxes beneath him, breathless. Her heart is pounding. He knows it won't take much to push her over the edge. He slides lower. Scrapes the patch of scruff on his chin against her belly on the way down. Uses his mouth to tease her into a frenzy. When she finally peaks and shatters beneath him, he grabs a bottle of water and gently cleans her up. Pats her dry with one of the rags they took from the shack. He ghosts his fingers up and down her chest and belly soothing her frayed nerves. Goosebumps break out across her naked skin, but Beth assures him she isn't cold. She sits up and runs her hands across his chest. "Your turn," she whispers.

"No," he says and holds her wrists loosely in his hands, "not tonight. Gotta' stay awake. Take first watch."

"But, Daryl," she argues, "that's not fair. Let me take care of you."

He smiles at her and pushes her hair behind her ear. "Next time. Then you can take first watch."

"But," she starts

"I'm good, Beth. I promise. I like makin' ya' feel good. It's enough for now."

She looks at him and doesn't quite know what to say. He kisses her forehead. Tells her he loves her and slips his shirt back on. "Come on," he says and pats his leg. "Get some sleep. I'll wake ya' for your shift."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart," he says with a wink.

Beth falls asleep with her head in Daryl's lap. He usually volunteers to take first watch so she can sleep. Beth appreciates it. She can't stay awake like he can after a long day of trekking through the woods. He is bad, though, about not waking her up soon enough for her to pull her fair share of watch hours. He usually waits until his eyes are too heavy to stay open a second longer before shaking her shoulder.

They switch positions hours later like they always do. Beth sits up and Daryl pillows his head against her thighs. He always makes a dramatic play at squeezing her legs like he's fluffing a pillow. And Beth always giggles at his antics. He says something about being glad when she finally gets a little meat on her bones. He finally quits fidgeting and closes his eyes. Rumbles a contended hum when Beth runs her fingers through his hair and over his scalp like always. It lulls him to sleep almost immediately. It's the same every night. And Beth feels pretty damn lucky to be right where she is… counting the stars and listening to the rough snores of the man she loves.