Ch. 5 Daddy Issues

"Hi, dad!" I smiled widely as I closed the front door behind me. I was still riding the high from my earlier conversation with Edward and then making plans with Angela for the next day.

"Hi...you're in a good mood." Charlie was distracted as he rested in his recliner watching an old Redskins versus Giants game.

"What? I can't be happy?"

"No...I mean yes, but you just seem a little keyed up, Bells." Charlie looked suspicious.

"I'm just excited, I guess. Hey, some of the kids at school are going down to First Beach tomorrow. Do you think I could be released on good behavior? Angela Webber wants to see a movie with me in Port Angeles tomorrow night too."

Charlie turned off the T.V. Uh oh. That can't be good. This man loves his T.V. more than a soccer mom loves wine...and that's a lot.

"Look, honey, it's not that I don't want you to have fun but—" he started, but I cut him off.

"I want to see Jacob." Maybe if I mentioned his best friend's son then he'd sing a different tune about this.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah. Jacob Black. I haven't seen him since that first night here..." Charlie looked at me funny. Wasn't that right? In the book he showed up with Billy Black after he showed Bella her truck...oh shit. That was the movie. Shit shit shit.

"When did you see Jake?" Charlie narrowed his eyes.

"I didn't. I just meant that I wanted to thank Billy and Jacob for the truck." Great cover, idiot. How many times have you read this book, Iris? How many times?!

"You're a terrible liar, Bells." He accused.

"I'm not lying! I'll call him right now in front of you and invite him to the beach tomorrow. You can speak with him yourself. Actually, let's invite them over for dinner tonight. Maybe they can bring some of Harry's fish fry over. You've got plenty of fish in the freezer I could cook."

"Ok, ok. Take a breath."

"Sorry...So is that a yes?" Doe-eyes. Use the doe-eyes. Wow I'm a manipulative bitch sometimes.

"I'll call Billy and see if he has any of that fish fry if you really want, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for you to go all the way to Port Angeles on your own tomorrow."

Fair enough. I wasn't a child internally, but externally I was a seventeen year old girl who had tried to run away from home and then attempted suicide. Knowing how this must have affected Charlie, I wasn't going to argue like a petulant child with him. Besides, I would still get to see Jacob if they came for dinner.

"That's ok. I'll go call Angela to cancel. Do you want me to call Billy?"

Charlie frowned at me. At first I didn't understand why, but after a moment of thinking about it I realized that it was very un-Bella-like of me to not argue with Charlie about being an almost adult who could make her own choices on how to spend my time.

"What? Did you expect a fight?" I laughed.

"Well...kind of...you're letting your old man down by giving in so easily." His eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled. It made him look younger, more handsome. He was only about ten years older than I had been in my original body.

"Sorry..." I trailed off, but the word hung heavier in the air than I had intended. The lighthearted feeling was suddenly replaced with a thick fog of tension. "...for everything."

"Bella..." Charlie sighed, and I went to sit down next to him. Over the last month of pretending to be Charlie's daughter, I had actually begun to feel like I fit the role. He was a really great father. "I just don't understand. I know you don't love Forks, but you sounded happy enough to volunteer to come here when your mom and Phil decided to move around. Is it something I..." he took a deep breath, obviously trying to hide the tears that were forming at the brim of his eyes.

"No." I placed my hand over his which were clasped together in his lap. "You've been great, really. I've loved spending so much time with you since you've been home more. Thank you for looking after me."

His face took on a pained expression. I had expected him to be happy that his seemingly teenage daughter enjoyed spending time with her dad.

Instead his expression almost changed to muted terror. "Is that why? I left you alone too much, and you were lonely, Bells? Are you saying that if I was home more you might not of..." he was fully crying now. Damnit. That wasn't what I'd meant at all. How could I make him understand and not lie without revealing the true reason for my destructive behavior? He definitely would not understand if I told him the truth.

"It's not that at all. I..." I paused so I could choose my words carefully, something that I was not exceptionally practiced at doing. "It's just that I've...I've had my own issues to work through. I was confused when I first got here. Yes, I was lonely, but that was only part of it. Coming here felt like I was losing a part of myself, and in that one stupidly selfish act I somehow convinced myself that I could get that part of myself back...like if I went through with it, I would be back to normal." I knew my message was convoluted, much less than he deserved, but I hoped that on some level he could understand my desperation. I wished he would see that my recent behavior had nothing to do with him at all.

"Why would...killing...yourself..." he gritted out slowly, obviously mentally reliving that awful day. "Make you feel normal? You wouldn't feel anything. You wouldn't exist." He looked back and forth between my eyes, searching for the answers that I couldn't give. God, I'm such an ass.

"That's exactly what I realized when I woke up in the hospital. When I took those pills I was crazy out of my mind. Bonkers. Certifiable. But I've turned over a new leaf, I swear it. I've made some friends and decided that I like it—maybe even love it—here. There's a certain charm to this little town. Plus the chief of police is pretty amazing, I hear." I smiled sincerely at him, hoping I could lighten the mood. "Why don't we forget about Billy and Jacob? Let's order pizza and watch the game."

Charlie gave me an incredulous look. "Since when do you like football?"

"Since now. Who's playing? The Giants? They suck. I hope the Redskins give 'em hell!"

At that, he burst into laughter, nearly falling out of his chair. After a few minutes, he was holding his side, gasping for air, and wiping at his eyes.

"What's so funny?" I side-eyed him.

"You...you..." He was still having trouble catching his breath. I was starting to review the signs of a stroke in my mind. "Never in a million years...did I think...I'd hear you cheer on a football team." He coughed to clear his throat. "You've made me proud, Bells. Maybe this Washington air has done you some good after all." He chuckled.

I could only roll my eyes and smile affectionately for my new quasi father-figure. He was one of the good ones.

"Hey Cha—dad?" I corrected, totally unnoticed.

"Huh?" He grunted as he turned back to the screen and shifted around to get more comfortable in his chair.

"Could I go fishing with you in the morning?" The fit of laughter ensued. What the hell? Did I break Charlie?

"You're going to go fishing?" I nodded and he nearly choked on his beer. "Near water?"

I nodded again and sighed in exasperation. "Yes, how else would I fish?"

"In a padded room would be the safest start." He quipped, wiping his eyes again.

"Oh come on! It's been months since I went to the hospital for anything. I haven't even gotten a cut—" I looked over at the baseball sized bruise on my shoulder where I had run into the doorframe the day before. "Well nothing lasting anyway."

Charlie bit back a smile when he noticed the direction of my gaze. "Alright, but if you fall into the water and make me have to resuscitate you, you're grounded."

"I'm already grounded." I deadpanned.

"Then you're double grounded." He tried to look tough with his "cop face."

"Do you even know CPR?"

"Give your old man some credit. I'm a cop. I get re-certified every two years. Now hush. I thought you wanted to watch the game?" He snapped, but I could tell he was fighting laughter again.

I didn't say anything else after that. Every few minutes I would sneak glances with a slight smile over to where Charlie sat looking happier than he had since I had arrived. We watched the game that way, in amiable silence, enjoying one other's company just like father and daughter for the remainder of the evening.

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