Ch. 11 Who Let The Dogs Out?

"H'lo?"

"Dad?" I winced when I heard the gasp on the other end of the phone. Poor Charlie. He probably thought I had been picked up at the beach by and axe murderer. Thankfully, it was just seven vampires in the woods.

"Bella? Thank, God!" Charlie's voice was mangled in desperation and relief. There was a muffled sound and then Charlie sounded like he was yelling away from the phone, "She's on the phone! I have her, Billy!" Then back in the receiver, "Bells? Where are you, honey? Are you safe? Do you need me to come get you?"

"No, no. Dad, I'm fine. I'm so sorry...I got lost in the woods earlier after I left Jake, but thankfully Alice Cullen found me. I somehow wandered all the way to the woods behind the Cullens' house near the edge of Forks." My excuses sounded lame even to me. Don't worry, Charlie. Your delinquent daughter is just hanging out with her vampire buddies out in the woods while you're at home losing your mind.

"Bella, what have I told you about going in the woods alone?" I could practically see him in my mind shaking his head, and I couldn't miss the parental frustration in his voice of lessons not heard.

"I know I know..." Please stop lecturing me. I hate to hear your disappointment.

"Do you?" His voice incredulous. Ok, I deserved the mistrust.

"I'm really sorry, Dad. I was kind of upset with Jake, and I thought I could find my way back from the beach by myself. I guess I was wrong." Yeah, like get-caught-by-a-blood-crazed-vampire-in-the-woods wrong. Way to go, McGee.

There was a heavy sigh before he responded. "Ok, well how are you getting home? Is Dr. or Mrs. Cullen around?"

"Alice said she will drop me off, and they're both right here." Then Carlisle appeared beside me. So creepy to actually see them move like that. It was one thing to read about their speed and sensitive hearing. It was a whole other thing to watch it happen. I handed him the phone.

"Chief? Yes, she's perfectly fine, aside from a gash to her hand which I covered already. Yes, of course. Alright. You too. Thank you, Charlie. Goodnight." He hung up the phone, and smiled at me.

"You're all set. Have a Goodnight, Iris. I hope to see you soon, outside of the hospital." He chuckled. Ha ha. Iris can't walk, talk, and chew gum at the same time. It wasn't my fault that this body was defective.

"You too. Thank you, Carlisle." I turned to grab my coat off the rack, but Edward was already there holding it out to me. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." There was that damn crooked smile again, and my stuttering heart. It was time to go home.

I backed away from him to help maintain my newly instated 'keep at least 5 feet between us at all times' rule. The problem was that Edward didn't know about my new rule. I don't know what that reaction from me was before at the bottom of the stairs, but I didn't need a repeat. Was Edward insanely attractive? Yes. Was he absolutely perfect in every other way too? Yes. Was he also a vampire who adamantly argued against having a mate and isn't interested in human companionship? Also a big, fat yes. And I needed to respect that.

"Thank you so much for dinner, Esme. I'm sure Charlie will love the meatloaf. It still blows my mind what a great cook you are when you can't even stand to taste the food! You should write a cookbook or something under a pseudonym. I'd buy it." I laughed and hugged her. It was strange. She was technically younger than I was back in my original body, but she just had this maternal air about her.

She pulled me into a tighter hug, and kissed my cheek. "You're so welcome, dear. Thank you so much for helping my family...And I'm not so sure anyone would want a cookbook written by a vampire."

"I don't know. 'Vampire Mama's Good Eats' has a ring to it..." Esme only laughed and shook her head.

"Goodnight, Iris. Take care. Please be more careful, and no more running about in the woods alone! Your father is right. It's not safe." She chastised. Geez! I'm a grown woman! A. Grown. Woman.

Edward only smirked until I turned to glare at him, and then he smiled angelically. "It would do you some good to listen to your elders...we aren't the worst things lurking out there." No shit.

"There's werewolves too you know."

"Werewolves?!" Edward's voice shot up an octave. Hah. I knew that was a sore spot for him.

"Yup. Sam Uley has either changed already or will soon followed by about fifteen others over the next year and a half." I smiled smugly. Stew on that, you stupidly handsome control-freak vampire.

"You can't go to La Push anymore then. They're dangerous, vile, and uncontrollable." Oh great. Here it goes...

"Yes, you're right." I wanted to laugh at his face. I guess he expected an argument. "They're impulsive, hormone-crazed, and disgusting too."

"Well...I'm glad you understand."

"Oh I don't understand. Not really. I thought we were just naming some things that teenage boys had in common. I decided to forgo them long ago...you know, when I stopped being a teenager myself. But now that I'm back to being seventeen..." I threw my hands in the air. "It's a toss up. Will Iris go to La Push to play video games with Jacob? Will she stay at home? We may never know since I'm now also a hormone-crazed, impulsive teenager."

"Be reasonable. You know that's not what I was talking about." He crossed his arms and stared at me in horrified disbelief.

"I know all of your arguments and even some of your inner-most thoughts after reading nearly twenty-five hundred pages worth of information about you. You think I didn't know your opinion of the wolves? Hah."

"Are you telling me that you just started that on purpose?"

"Maybe." I smiled innocently.

"You're dangerous, Iris Elizabeth McGee." He chuckled. It was a surreal moment to hear Edward Cullen speak my full name, and I could only gawk at him in reply.

"Are you ready?" Alice chirped. "Let's go! Oh, Iris, I really think we should go shopping tomorrow. I bet I could ask Charlie to let you go with us."

"He's never going to let me out of the house again, actually, Alice. Sorry." She frowned, but closed her eyes. After a second she opened them again.

"Nope. I'll take care of him. Come on. I'll tell you the details on the way there! Oh Iris, we're going to—"

"Be such great friends?" Alice frowned again, and I laughed. Predictable. "You say that to Bella in the books." Now she was pouting. The psychic didn't like me having more information than she did sometimes. "I would love to go shopping. It's one of my favorite pastimes. Maybe you could do a—"

"Yes! Yes! Yessss!" Alice was squealing at a pitch that I'm sure could break glass.

"—makeover on me." I laughed out the last part. "Alice, calm down. You're going to call all the wild dogs to the house."

"I think you already did..." Edward said with a frown. ...the hell? I gave him the side eye. Did he mean I smelled or something? What kind of shade was that?!

"What are you talking about, Edward?" Alice's brow furrowed.

"The wolf, Sam Uley, is outside." Holy shitballs. Could this get anymore ridiculous? Was this going to be the little "reminder about the treaty" part of the story? The "my testes are larger than your testes" argument? Really?

"Let me by. I'll talk to him. I know what he wants..." I sighed.

"He wants to talk about the treaty." Edward said. Well, yeah, duh.

"Got it." I started to push by him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Please don't start the 'werewolves are a danger to your health' thing again..." I did a horribly weak impression of Edward's voice. He didn't seem to appreciate it either.

"Yes, they are very dangerous, but no, actually, I was going to say that Sam Uley doesn't know you, or that you know about us or him, for that matter. How were you planning on speaking to him about the treaty?" He quirked his brow.

Oh yeah. Gah, I hated it when he was right. Fine. "Touché, sir." Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I'm going to meet him, though."

"How am I going to talk about the treaty then?" He asked in a tone of voice like he was speaking to a kindergartener. Grrrrr...

"Look, I know that I look very young, but I'm actually nearly thirty years old. That may not sound like a lot in the face of eternity, but it's old enough to have a little meet and greet with a guy. I just want to have a little chat with him. Come on! Just one tiny little peak at the wolf boy!" I tried really hard not to sound like I was whining, but it still came out that way. Get your shit together, Iris. "Ahem. I will say 'hi' to show that I'm still human and not being held against my will, and then I'll go to the car to let the big boys talk about the big, bad treaty. Capeesh?" Good old Uncle Jesse. Those were the days...

"Fine. You're very stubborn." He didn't seem to enjoy my 'Full House' reference as much as I did.

"Something I share with Isabella it would seem. It must be this body. I'm very easy-going. Practically a rug." I shrugged in jest.

"Yes, I'm sure you are." Edward rolled his eyes. "Your friend is here. Are you ready?" Ready to witness the first werewolf-vampire interaction in nearly a hundred years? Yeah, I guess so. This could be a horrible idea, actually, now that I thought of it, but I had just argued my way into this and couldn't go back now. I was no quitter. Woman up, McGee. You can handle one little werewolf. You took on seven vampires tonight. I am woman!

"HEAR ME ROAR!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Sorry." Shit. That was out loud.

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