Ch. 31 Into the Light

(BPOV)

I stretched my fingers, marveling at the small movement. I couldn't believe that after all this time my body was back. I could move, feel, sense everything. My emotions were my own, and my thoughts were mine too, only mine. After Iris—Iris! Iris is gone...I can't feel her anymore. Where is she? Iris? She's just...she's gone.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a growl from the corner of the room. I was still in Forks, in my bedroom, but I wasn't alone.

"Iris...?" Edward's velvet voice was strained. His eyes were wild with thirst. I remembered this look from when Rosalie almost attacked Iris—and me, indirectly—in the woods before. Iris is gone, so now I'm his singer. He might kill me. No, not might, he would kill me.

"Edward, she's gone. It's me, Bella."

That made him pause his slow advance. "Bella?"

"Please don't do this. We have to find her. I can help, please. Hold your breath. I'm your singer, remember? You don't want to kill me."

A million emotions flitted across his face, but he settled back on one...anger. "Gone?" He snarled. He was finally holding his breath, but his eyes were still wide, dark, and filled with desire, desire for my blood. I could see his eyes darting back and forth between my face and my neck in the moonlight.

"You have to go now. Find Carlisle. Tell him what's happened. I think Iris is in danger."

"Iris..." I could hear the pain in his tight voice even as he still struggled not to kill me. He loves her. He loved her, and she left.

"That's right. Focus on Iris. She needs you. I don't know exactly where she is, but—"

"How do you...know...so much?" It was getting difficult for him to speak. He was running out of air.

"I was with her all this time, and I have some of her memories. Please, go. You can speak to me on the phone. Don't kill me now. You might never find her."

He looked to me, and then to the window, still fighting his urges. Then, somehow, he left.

I waited several minutes until I thought he wouldn't come back, and then I ran to window, slamming it shut and locking it. I knew that would do little to help, but it was all I could think to do. I gasped for air, and sat back on the edge of my bed before my shaking knees stopped supporting my weight.

I held my face in my hands for just a moment to calm my nerves. Iris blamed herself for everything. I was so glad to have my body back, but not at the expense of Iris losing herself. What had happened? Where did she go? Just then my—Iris's—phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" It was Edward already. He must have put enough space between us to be able to have a clear mind. I could recall from Iris's thoughts how difficult this was for him. "Tell me everything. How did this happen? Where is she?"

"I don't know where she went exactly, but your friend from Alaska, Eleazar, he told Iris something." I paused as I tried to recall everything he said.

"What is it?" His tone was impatient.

"He said she had an ability of her own...That the way she took over my body was actually a gift. She's powerful. A drifter is what he called her. He said there were stories of her kind of ability, but no proof and that the Volturi would do anything to have her, that she was in danger. Then he told her that he could still feel me with her, and she started freaking out. She thinks you can't love her because I'm still here. She thinks it's me drawing you to this body, so she sacrificed herself..."

"Damnit, Iris. So what? You said she's gone. How did she...leave you?"

"I'm not totally sure. She thought something about a light..? She was trying to remember from the last time she left her body. Then she just kind of said her goodbyes and released me. When I woke up, she was gone, and I had control. And you—"

"Can't stand to be anywhere near you if you want to live. I'm sorry. I didn't expect—"

"I know. It's fine. I get it, but there's something else. She had been having these dreams for the last few days, but she didn't tell anyone. Well, she thought that they were dreams, but I don't think that's what they were...they were memories."

"Memories of what?" He was growling again.

"The Volturi."

He let out a deafening roar that I could hear not only through the reciever but also from outside my window, and the line went dead.

Then there was a knock on my door, and I turned.

"Bells? What are you doing up so—oof!"

"Dad!" I ran to hug the father who I had been able to see and hear, but not interact with for the last two months. Through Iris's interactions with him and inner commentary, as colorful as it was, I was able to re-evaluate and change my perspective on my parents. I was so incredibly lucky to have Charlie, and I would never let him go again.

•PTaT•

(IPOV)

There was so much light everywhere, and it was warm. I was back. I made it back to the light.

"Welcome back, Iris." The disembodied female voice from the first time I was here spoke.

"Thank you...Where am I?" It was so warm...I could stay here forever, but there was something missing...someone...

"This is the plane of neutrality."

"What's that?" Should I want to be here? It was just so good, but why?

"The point of absolute homeostasis, Total equilibrium, The ultimate balance of everything and nothing." Wow. Ok...

"Is this Heaven?"

"No and yes. It's not anything, but it's also everything."

Ok this is like some Star Wars bullshit. I was done with the fantasy—fantasy? That word triggered something a feeling...love.

Why love? Why that word? Was that what I was missing here...? No, not what. Who. Who was I missing?

"Am I dead then?"

"No, but, Iris, you can't stay here for long. Your gift allows you to become totally neutral for short amounts of time, but you have to move on." It was the male voice this time.

"How? Where do I go?"

"We don't know. We only exist in this plane. You must find yourself."

Find myself? Like literally or was this some kind of metaphor for something...? Then I felt it. A pulling, not a physical pull, but like a feeling, a flow of energy drawing me toward it. It was like the embodiment of the feeling you have when returning home after a long vacation. The feeling of being home. I focused hard on the direction of the energy, and felt myself drifting back into darkness.

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