Chapter 33: Publicity Tour

After doing a favor for Lynn Baker and his biker gang and successfully getting them to be Love Fist's security. Lincoln was called by Sam Torrent, the band's lead to head to their recording studio for an emergency, whether believing it was an emergency or not…He decided to go anyway. Upon arriving there, the band and Luke are in a state of panic, seeing Lincoln arrive, Sam immediately called Lincoln.

"Lincoln! Linc! Lincoln, man, that psycho's back!" Lincoln, curious as to whom or what they were talking about asked "What's going on?" Luke answered him "That psycho won't leave Love Fist alone!" Sam then inserted herself and said "You didn't kill him man. And now he's back." Turns out the psycho killer a while back, was alive; and has returned on plotting to destroy the band once and for all.

Going back, Luke nodded at Sam's statement "Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the thing is..." Sam cut him off and said "The thing is, we need someone to drive the limo we can trust, cause that nutter keeps making threats!" Sully, at the corner, then ranted "I'm shitin' masel' man. I need ma ma!" Mazzy brushed him off and said "We're all bricking ourselves, man."

Lincoln, annoyed by their rant and panic said out loud "Okay guys, calm down, I'll handle this." He sighed and continued "Normally I wouldn't busy myself with driving around a bunch of drunken Scottish bisexuals, but in your case," pointing to every one of them "I'll make an exception." With that in mind everyone headed for the limo and proceeds to head to the venue.

While on the limo, Sully said "At last man, time for a well-earned drink." Obviously indicating he's relaxed and wanted a drink to go with it. Then Mazzy instructed Lincoln on where to go "The venue's just a hundred yards down the road." Sully upon hearing what she said, realizing it was a long trip, quipped another line "Better make it a large one then."

Sam then complained "Hey Lincoln, change the tunes, man. I get confused if my head ain't banging." Noticing a piece of cassette tape on the floor, she picked it up and handed it to Lincoln "Ah look, what's this? Hey Lincoln, stick this tape on." Upon putting the tape in the cassette player, they realized it wasn't a song; it was a message from the psycho killer himself.

"Love Fist. Your time polluting the airwaves is over. I gave you the chance to be friends. Now, I'm giving you the chance to die. Try to slow down and your limousine will explode, along with your BIG, HAIRY ARSES!"

Now the becalmed band has once again panicked, Sam then said to Lincoln "Lincoln pal, you gotta save the band!" To which he replied "I'm getting bored of this." Then Sam replied to him "Just keep the pedal to the metal!" Sam then said to everyone "We gotta find the bomb!" Sully then complained, he was already drunk at this time "Can't we just drive around all day? Aye, we've got plenty to drink…" Mazzy then suggested to Sam "Won't the bomb not be in the engine?" To which she replied "We'll have to stop to get it." Sully drunkenly said "We're all going to die! I'm gonna get drunk!"

Looking around, Mazzy noticed a cabinet in the limo, she then notified everyone "Hey, there's a queue here pal!" Sam then said to her "The answer ain't in the drinks cabinet!" Hearing someone say drinks, Sully rushed to where they are "Get out of my way!" Upon opening the cabinet they notice a bottle with weird attachments to it "Hey, the vodka bottle's got wires coming out of it!" Sam then pushed Sully out of the way, closer inspection, she realized it isn't vodka "That's not vodka, that's BOOMSHINE!" Now everyone is in real panic and they all started screaming. Sam then shouted "And it's wired to blow!"

Sully then said "They always said the drink would kill me." Mazzy then had an idea "I've seen this on the telly, you gotta pull out one of the wires." Obviously referencing every bomb defusing in movies and TV. Sam then asked her "Which wire?" To which Mazzy just simply said "I don't know man. I don't have a clue." Sully then shakes Tabby, who was just silent all this time "Tabby, say something." She just said with a tone of slight panic "I'm gonna play bass in hell…" Mazzy then went to Lincoln "Lincoln man, keep driving fast, pal."

She then turned around to the rest of her bandmates and said "Somebody do something!" Sam then quipped "Aye clever! 'Somebody do something' what kind of crap is that? I've seen braver girls." Seems like they were going to argue and Mazzy was put off on what Sam just told her "Okay tough guy, you do something." Mazzy then gave a very poor alibi "Look man, I play a musical instrument, I don't have a clue about bomb disposal."

Sully then intervened and pointed to Tabby who went silent again "Tabby could just suck the boomshine out with a straw." Hearing him, both agreed to call the argument off and then Sam spoke to Sully "Aye, I've heard that your good at that kind of thing." Sully then ranted back "Hey, I was off my tits that night, as well you know!" What that means, I have no idea. Sam then told Sully "Just pass Tabby a straw!" He replied "A straw?! This is the Love Fist Tour Bus! Where am I gonna get a straw from, know what I mean?"

Seeing as they are running out of options, they asked the last man they could think who is capable of defusing it. Lincoln. Sam approached him and asked "Which wire, Lincoln?" He was busy driving the limo, immediately replied "The green one." Mazzy then checked the bomb, "There isn't a green one!" She checked again and saw a wire which looked green to her "Or is this one green? Any of these wires look green to you?" Sully then shouted "Oh no! Death's on the cards! Everything looks green!" Sam then ranted "I should've dumped you lot when I had the chance man."

And once again the argument started again, Mazzy ranted back to Sam "Glory seeker." "Capitalist. I've been carrying you for years." "Shut up, you're a moppet." Sam then told her "A big screaming girl." "Aye. Shut up and pull a wire." Sam then asked "Which wire?" Getting impatient, Sully pulled one of the wires "This one…" Realizing this, they all screamed "NO!" After a few seconds, everything was okay and the bomb was successfully defused. Mazzy then said "Man, we're okay. We ain't been blown up pal."

They were all relieved that there's no more threat, they all cheered and Sam thanked Lincoln for the suggestion "Lincoln, man. Nice one." Mazzy also thanked him "Rock and roll man!" Sully then asked everybody "Ain't we got a gig to go to?" "A racket to make?" "Groupies to abuse?" Agreeing to all of these, they all screamed "LOVE FIST!" They then drove to the location of the concert.

While there, they're replaying all the songs that are going to be played, while waiting, Mazzy said to Lincoln "Sam is running the tape, so we thought we'd show you our Temple of Rock-Hehehe…Get a feel for that Love Fist fury!" Sam then replied to them through to mic "Listen to yourself man. It's papier-mache and gaffa tape." Mazzy then replied "Hey, to the kids, it's the temple and we are the priests!"

Seeing no argument with that statement, Sam said "Aye, well, if the kids like their priests half cut and tone deaf, who am I to argue?" Then suddenly, the music starts messing up and garbled, Mazzy then complained "Oh geez, the tape's getting chewed again. At this rate we'll never get to play live." Sully then complained " Oohh shite! My bowels…" Hearing Sully, he knew they guy is in an emergency "We gotta get on with it…Thanks again Lincoln, know what I am saying, nice one bye!" The both of them then rushed off backstage.

Seems like everything is going well underway, the band is safe, the business is good and life is getting better for Lincoln.

What he didn't realize is that there's a big storm coming over Vice City…And it's gonna take more than a prayer to quell it…